Marianne and I talk about conflicts and fights and how some conflict can be healthy because it can lead to trust and safety with that person. There is a discernment when understanding the healthy kind of conflict and understanding when conflict is unhealthy. We talk about some strategies that can be healthy for two people in a conflict, such as self-connection, meeting them where they are, follow through with the request for a break and coming back to mend or repair in the time frame that was requested.
Being able to maybe in the smallest of ways connect with ourselves and create space in our heart to attend to the parts of us that are triggered and or attend to the inner wounded child is a healthy strategy when we are in conflict with someone. Which is easier said than done. There is also the other person who you are in conflict with who is also sitting with their parts of themselves that are triggered too. It can be so hard to be the one to meet them where they are because we deeply want to be heard and we just may not get that from them in that moment. It’s so important to know that we have outside resources to feel heard by others incase we are not heard by the person we are in conflict with. When we are resourced we have the capacity to meet the other person where they are.
Conflict is never easy to navigate, it can be very delicate at times and what sucks is that we gotta be in conflict to continue to learn how to navigate it. I am constantly with my dad learning and growing with each and every conflict we have. The repairs we do have, the apologies are just enough for the start of some trust. for me anyway. I don’t know about him.
I hope you enjoy!
Resources:
Marianne’s Information:
Website:
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/c/CupofEmpathy/featured
Book:
Laser Therapy - A Clinical Manual
By Jennifer A. Blahnik & David W. Rindge
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