Eric and I are talking about honesty or scary honesty today. To me, honesty is speaking from the heart or fully speaking your truth. Focusing on what is alive in your heart and sharing courageously.
Needs that might come up when sharing honesty could be freedom, sincerity, fairness, care, compassion, vulnerability and or truthfulness. What does fully speaking your truth mean and look like to you?
What do we hope for when we speak our truth? How do we hold space, give kindness for ourselves after we have spoken from the heart? How do we stay calm, or grounded & not activated in our nervous system? Are we willing and open to hear the response from the other person - What if the response is in defensiveness, criticism or blame?
I watch a video of Marshall Rosenberg talk about honesty and an example he used was “I feel scared because I want to maintain the quality of relationship that we have…” I added the feeling of fear “…and I fear what I have to say might disturb our relationship.” Sometimes sharing feelings first humanizes our human experience. Which in it of itself is a vulnerable thing to do, to share feelings. Then the other person can possibly relate to those feelings and bring some warmth into their body or into the conversation.
Marshall said “we send something out beautifully & jackal ears pick up something ugly. We just develop our ability to enjoy it when it happens.” There was a time when he had to give empathy eight times because the enemy image was so strong, letting go of that enemy image was hard for that person. People often times need empathy before they can hear our honesty.
Which again, is hard because we so deeply want them to be in a space of openness and resourced enough to be able to hear our heart.
This topic is huge and could be discussed at length. And perhaps, Living Connected listeners you have some Ah-Ha moments, thoughts or curious questions that you would like to share as well, please let me know. I truly hope you enjoy listening to this episode.
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