SPEAKER_00: All right, and our passage today is gonna talk about this too.
SPEAKER_00: Going to talk about love.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but first, a little bit about me.
SPEAKER_00: My name's Cameron.
SPEAKER_00: I'm a pastor here at Crosspoint.
SPEAKER_00: Good to be here with you guys.
SPEAKER_00: You know, a few years ago, I was eating dinner with my kids.
SPEAKER_00: Um, they were little and they were we were eating like mashed potatoes or roasted potatoes or something like that.
SPEAKER_00: And I remember they asked the question, you know how kids can like really tactfully say, like, oh, what is it that we're eating tonight, right?
SPEAKER_00: Oh, there's more like, oh, what is this?
SPEAKER_00: Um, and as you know, I respond immediately, I said, potatoes, boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew, and they looked at me like I was crazy, right?
SPEAKER_00: So if you've seen the Lord of the Rings movies too many times like I have, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_00: They obviously had not, and so looked at me like, what are you talking about, Dad?
SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, Oh, I gotta show you the video.
SPEAKER_00: So I get out my phone, I'm like, you gotta see this, it's really funny.
SPEAKER_00: And it's you know, Gollum is like trying to figure out like what are these potatoes?
SPEAKER_00: And so Sam says that to him.
SPEAKER_00: So we watch the video, and Gollum comes on the screen and they go, ah, like freak out, as they're terrified of this little like creature that's like, you know, kind of slinking around and doing all these things.
SPEAKER_00: And they're terrified.
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what are you guys telling?
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh yeah, I guess he is a little scary, like when I stop and think about it.
SPEAKER_00: Like, I had become desensitized to it because I've seen it so many times because I'm older, all this.
SPEAKER_00: Now, of course, they had then nightmares for weeks that Golem was under their bed, kind of hiding.
SPEAKER_00: My wife is like, Why do you do these things?
SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, because I'm not thinking about it.
SPEAKER_00: Um, when something becomes familiar, it's easy to lose sight of what it really is.
SPEAKER_00: Right, same thing.
SPEAKER_00: I grew up in the Pacific Northwest in Oregon.
SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, I grew up and I always knew I lived in a really beautiful place.
SPEAKER_00: You had like Mount Hood in the background, we're like 20 minutes away from all these waterfalls, all this great stuff.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but it wasn't until I moved away that I realized how special where I grew up was.
SPEAKER_00: Right, and so in some ways, I think when I go back to visit, I see the beauty in a stronger way.
SPEAKER_00: I see what's really there more than when I actually lived there and saw it every day.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: What we become comfortable with and what we become familiar with kind of loses its uh punch or what it really is.
SPEAKER_00: And so today's passage we're gonna look at, I think is one that we've become very comfortable with.
SPEAKER_00: At least I have.
SPEAKER_00: I know I kind of read it and was like, cool, sounds good.
SPEAKER_00: I know that one.
SPEAKER_00: Um, we call it the golden rule.
SPEAKER_00: Now, as I was doing some research, I found out Mr.
SPEAKER_00: T has a version of the golden rule.
SPEAKER_00: It goes like this I believe in the golden rule, the man with the gold rules.
SPEAKER_00: So it's not Mr.
SPEAKER_00: T's version.
SPEAKER_00: Uh that's not what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_00: We're talking about Jesus' version of the golden rule.
SPEAKER_00: Uh it's in the Sermon on the Mount.
SPEAKER_00: So we're in a pat in a series where we're looking at the Sermon on the Mount, this big block of teaching that Jesus has about how to live life in the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_00: And as he's wrapping up, like we're kind of getting to the conclusion of the sermon, uh, he says this as he's concluding so in everything, this is Matthew chapter 7, verse 12, so in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.
SPEAKER_00: For this sums up the law and the prophets.
SPEAKER_00: Now I'm sure you've heard this before, at least that first part, do to others what you would have them do to you.
SPEAKER_00: Right.
SPEAKER_00: This passage is not one, thank God, that is difficult to understand, right?
SPEAKER_00: So we're not going to talk a lot about how to understand it, because you kind of get it.
SPEAKER_00: Uh it's thinking about, it's about empathy and action in love.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: It's about empathy, thinking about what you would want if you were in someone else's situation.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but it's not just empathy, though that is essential.
SPEAKER_00: It also requires action.
SPEAKER_00: He says, do to others as you would have them do to you, as you would want done to you, right?
SPEAKER_00: Um so it's not just sitting back and feeling bad or compassionate, but actually moving towards people in love with empathy in the way we interact with people.
SPEAKER_00: Now, kind of the one thing I think that's maybe a little tricky that at least you're like, oh, what does that exactly mean?
SPEAKER_00: He says, you know, this sums up the law and the prophets, which would the law and the prophets would be like our Old Testament, looking back on that.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and this phrase is connected to his words back at the beginning of the sermon, kind of like a bookend thing, in Matthew chapter five.
SPEAKER_00: So here's what he says, and Jesus says in Matthew chapter five, verse 17, and then kind of skipping down to verse 20.
SPEAKER_00: Do not think that I have come to abolish or get rid of the law or the prophets, like what we would call the Old Testament.
SPEAKER_00: I have not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them.
SPEAKER_00: For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees, so like the religious leaders of the day, and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
SPEAKER_00: So he's kind of connect, right?
SPEAKER_00: Jesus is telling his followers and us what it means to live in the kingdom of God, and how that kingdom is very different than how we normally live in the world.
SPEAKER_00: And what we've seen is it is not getting away with the law and the prophets and those the teachings of God from the generations past, but it's a deeper righteousness than what the religious leaders lived out.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: It's not just about what's happening on the outside and what our actions look like, but it's also about what's happening in our heart.
SPEAKER_00: So not doing away with the law, but intensifying it and internalizing it, making it something actually lived out inside of us.
SPEAKER_00: So it's both new what Jesus is teaching, because it's like this fresh understanding, but it's also not new, right?
SPEAKER_00: Because it's like it's actually in line with God's heart all along with what he wanted for people.
SPEAKER_00: It's a fuller, deeper understanding of what the law and the prophets was actually about the whole time.
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're kind of like, okay, I still have some questions, when I was doing research, I'm like, oh, this feels really familiar.
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, because I preached on this back in Matthew chapter 5, August 2024.
SPEAKER_00: So if you want to deep dive into like, hey, how does all this work?
SPEAKER_00: Don't worry, I've forgotten two.
SPEAKER_00: You can go back and listen to that if you want to.
SPEAKER_00: But I don't want to spend a lot of time rehashing that because you can go back and listen.
SPEAKER_00: I want to spend some time talking about the meat of this passage here.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Because in the context of this passage, God's law is all about love.
SPEAKER_00: Like this sums up everything.
SPEAKER_00: And it's always been about love.
SPEAKER_00: Now, this is nothing new or shocking, right?
SPEAKER_00: Later you've maybe remember Jesus is asked a question and someone says, Hey, what's the greatest commandment?
SPEAKER_00: And Jesus says, the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God, and the second is like it to love your neighbor as yourself.
SPEAKER_00: If you've ever been to a wedding and heard 1 Corinthians 13, uh you see Paul sums up, he says, All the faith in the world, like all the good religious things you could do in the world, are worthless without love.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: If you don't have love, it's nothing.
SPEAKER_00: 1 John chapter 4.
SPEAKER_00: 1 John is all about love.
SPEAKER_00: Here's what he says in chapter 4.
SPEAKER_00: Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.
SPEAKER_00: Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
SPEAKER_00: This is the scary part.
SPEAKER_00: Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
SPEAKER_00: Look at God's very nature is love.
SPEAKER_00: Love is not just a thing God does sometimes.
SPEAKER_00: God is love in his very nature.
SPEAKER_00: Now, this teaching of Jesus has had a huge influence on Western culture, right?
SPEAKER_00: The golden rule is kind of baked into our society, the way we view people, has influenced uh thinkers and activists for generations.
SPEAKER_00: Like as a kid, I didn't really go to church growing up very much, you know, very occasionally, but I knew the golden rule, because I'm pretty sure it was on one of those cheesy 90s posters in my classroom, right, about treating others the way you want to be treated, probably the picture of a bunny or something weird on it, right?
SPEAKER_00: Or the stars.
SPEAKER_00: Uh we talked about it in class, right?
SPEAKER_00: It was there.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, this is like the basics when you're dealing with kids, you say, okay, how would you feel if they did this to you, right?
SPEAKER_00: This is very kind of basic 101 stuff.
SPEAKER_00: And I think because it's become so familiar, it's lost a little bit of its punch, right, for us.
SPEAKER_00: I've become desensitized to it.
SPEAKER_00: I read it and say, Oh, yeah, I know what that means.
SPEAKER_00: Check the box, right?
SPEAKER_00: The teachings that are more like intellectual, like, oh, I need to like understand this, sometimes they're more like exciting to deal with, and sometimes these very basic things we can just push aside.
SPEAKER_00: But I want to encourage you today.
SPEAKER_00: Love is the primary mark of a disciple of Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: Not how much we know, how much of the Bible we've read, how many spiritual practices we do per day, but love is the mark of following Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: And this teaching of Jesus is, I think, a brilliant guide for how we can embody kingdom love in our world.
SPEAKER_00: So I want to invite you, you've probably heard this passage before, to look at this passage with a little bit of fresh eyes, right?
SPEAKER_00: Because for me, over the last couple weeks, as I've been meditating on it and thinking about it, um, it's been really fruitful for me, even though it was a box I thought I had already checked before.
SPEAKER_00: So I want to invite you to open yourself up to Jesus' words, assuming that maybe there's something more for you in here, in these simple words, right?
SPEAKER_00: To meditate on all your relationships and your thoughts, kind of like a sifter, like sifting them through this teaching and seeing what comes out.
SPEAKER_00: So that's gonna be one of our action steps later today, uh, as we wrap up, is just meditating on this passage of scripture in every interaction and every environment that you're in.
SPEAKER_00: And it's a passage you probably already memorized, right?
SPEAKER_00: Or at least you kind of know the gist of enough.
SPEAKER_00: So it just requires some intention and then some courage, frankly, at least what I found, to face the ways that maybe I'm not as loving as I thought I was.
SPEAKER_00: So for me, over the last couple weeks, it went from, hey, this is simple and easy, to, ooh, I actually don't do this nearly as well as I like to think I do.
SPEAKER_00: So, a little bit about why I think the golden rule is brilliant.
SPEAKER_00: First, it's simple, right?
SPEAKER_00: It's easy to remember.
SPEAKER_00: We've probably all already memorized it.
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't require some passages are awesome.
SPEAKER_00: Well, all passages are awesome.
SPEAKER_00: Don't take that out of context.
SPEAKER_00: Um, some passages are like really great, but you it requires a lot of like understanding context and like ancient Near Eastern culture to even know what they're saying, right?
SPEAKER_00: Um, but this is one that's just simple.
SPEAKER_00: You can grab it, you know exactly what it means.
SPEAKER_00: And because of this, it's like readily on hand wherever you are, whatever interaction you're in, it's like right there.
SPEAKER_00: Number two, it points us in the right direction of what love looks like in any given situation.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Jesus has gone into a lot of depth about a few things, like when we're what we do when we're angry, what we do with lust, how judgment affects love, loving our enemies, some very specific things.
SPEAKER_00: But there are many more in situations that you're gonna encounter in life with different nuance and levels of complexity, and like, okay, but what about this?
SPEAKER_00: How does this affect how I love?
SPEAKER_00: And so this is like kind of pointing us in the right direction, right?
SPEAKER_00: Like a compass, pointing us towards what is most important.
SPEAKER_00: When we're thinking about our friends, our parenting, our workplace relationships, whatever it might be.
SPEAKER_00: The golden rule doesn't answer all the specifics about what love looks like, but it gets us asking the right questions.
SPEAKER_00: Like, what would I want if I were there?
SPEAKER_00: What is that person actually feeling?
SPEAKER_00: What's really going on for them?
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: It gets us thinking about God's kingdom and how it relates to whatever it is we're going through.
SPEAKER_00: It gets us praying and talking to God about the people in our life that are driving us crazy or that are difficult to love.
SPEAKER_00: So it gets us pointed in the right direction.
SPEAKER_00: And then this last point, um, as I was thinking about this and kind of chewing on it over the last couple weeks, I felt like it really popped out to me.
SPEAKER_00: It channels our naturally self-focused thoughts and desires.
SPEAKER_00: So we all probably spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves, what we want, how we are interacting with the people around us.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and instead, this can help channel all of that energy we put towards ourselves towards other people and empathy.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: It's very natural to be self-focused.
SPEAKER_00: It's not even necessarily a bad thing to be like thinking about yourself and what's going on and what you need and what you want and how you're interacting with someone.
SPEAKER_00: It's not necessarily bad, like self-focused and selfish are not the exact same thing.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but and I can imagine a version of this teaching that goes something like, hey, you need to be less self-focused so you can love better, right?
SPEAKER_00: Which is true.
SPEAKER_00: Um but uh what I love what Jesus is doing is he's channeling our self-focus and our self-interest and then help like using it as a catapult to push us towards other people and what they might need.
SPEAKER_00: He's uh taking all of those desires, and instead of just saying, hey, you have to get rid of it or bury it, saying, what if you took all that energy and applied that to other people?
SPEAKER_00: Like use that same perspective, that same grace you give yourself, that same understanding you have for yourself, and instead looked at others with that lens.
SPEAKER_00: And so that's our bottom line for today is that Jesus wants to transform your self-focus into other focused love.
SPEAKER_00: To take all that natural energy that we put towards ourselves and use it as a catalyst to love better in our world.
SPEAKER_00: So, how do we do this?
SPEAKER_00: Uh, all these you can find on the website too, on the digital service guide.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but here's a few points that I thought of as I was sitting and praying about this and figuring out how do I do this in my life.
SPEAKER_00: One, you have to pray for God's insight, wisdom, and power to love.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: We can't do this apart from God.
SPEAKER_00: We can try to do it, and sometimes we can do okay, but ultimately we need God's power in our life to love people in the way of Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: And I've noticed in my own life, if I open myself up to God, honestly in prayer, he gives me a lot of insight into maybe what's happening in my own heart, sometimes to what's happening in the people around me, like help me notice things that I wouldn't normally see, that I would just kind of dismiss or gloss over.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: And so God can help us have a better understanding of how to love.
SPEAKER_00: And he wants to empower us to do that.
SPEAKER_00: Meditating on this verse throughout the last two weeks has helped me stay more prayerfully connected to the Holy Spirit as I'm in interactions with people.
SPEAKER_00: Right, so quick example.
SPEAKER_00: I was at the park yesterday, uh, walked up to girls, like we live by the Exonia elementary school, so we walked up to the park.
SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, they're really cranky and just like fighting all like we need to get outside, they need to run some energy out.
SPEAKER_00: So we go up to the park, I brought a lot of times, they'll just kind of play by themselves, do their own thing.
SPEAKER_00: So I brought a novel I was reading.
SPEAKER_00: It's a 500-page novel.
SPEAKER_00: I had 10 pages left.
SPEAKER_00: So it's like the one thing I wanted to do was sit in the shade without any mosquitoes around me and finish this book that I've been reading, right?
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so we get up there and the kid, I sit down, I'm all like ready to go.
SPEAKER_00: The kid's like, hey, can you do the teeter totter?
SPEAKER_00: Can you push me on the swings?
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like inside, like, oh my gosh, you've got to be kidding me.
SPEAKER_00: Like, I've been doing stuff all day.
SPEAKER_00: I just want to read this book right now.
SPEAKER_00: Can't you guys occupy yourselves?
SPEAKER_00: Um, but because I've been meditating on this verse, uh, I felt like an invitation from God, like, hey, if you were them, what would you want right now?
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh dang it.
SPEAKER_00: Like, throw the book down, get up and go play.
SPEAKER_00: Had a great time, finished my book last night, it was no problem.
SPEAKER_00: Um, in the grand scheme of things, it was not a big deal, but in that moment, right, I could feel myself wanting something, and then God inviting me into something better.
SPEAKER_00: Now, this is not saying I'm a great dad.
SPEAKER_00: I think it's actually telling you I'm pretty selfish if I'm honest with myself.
SPEAKER_00: But uh what I loved about uh thinking through this yesterday afterwards was like how just the power of meditating on scripture makes us more available to God's prompting in the moment.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Normally I would just be like, nope, go play.
SPEAKER_00: I'm reading my book, maybe put in my headphones if the crying gets too loud.
SPEAKER_00: Just kidding, I wouldn't actually do that.
SPEAKER_00: Um, no, I'm just doing this, like, do what you want.
SPEAKER_00: But I was more open to God, and he gave me a love and a vision for love that I did not have in the moment.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: He gave me something that was beyond my own capacity and desire.
SPEAKER_00: Now, this is just a silly example, but one of the things we know about discipleship and following Jesus is it's in the little moments that God forms us the most.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: God forms us in these little interactions, these little moments where we can turn away from someone or move towards them.
SPEAKER_00: That then when the big moments come, like then we're ready to step into love the way God has called us to.
SPEAKER_00: Second note about prayer.
SPEAKER_00: One of the things I always try to pray, if I remember, is God help me to see this person the way you do.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Not just God help me to deal with this difficult person in my life, but help me to see them the way you do.
SPEAKER_00: Because often my vision is very like black and white or kind of like a caricature, but God sees people in all of their complexity, all the good and the bad.
SPEAKER_00: So, second point is we're trying to figure out how do we practice this kind of other focused love, is resist caricatures and enemy making, right?
SPEAKER_00: Resist that that impulse to make a caricature out of someone, right?
SPEAKER_00: Like, kind of like those pictures you see at like a fair or whatever, where if someone has a slightly big nose and the picture's like their nose is like the whole thing, right?
SPEAKER_00: We do that with people.
SPEAKER_00: We take their beliefs, the personality traits, and we uh make them so much bigger than they are.
SPEAKER_00: Um, or we make them like this is all of who they are, and we neglect all the good in their life.
SPEAKER_00: Uh we turn people into enemies all the time.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so it's really hard to love someone when you've turned them into an enemy or you've turned them into a caricature.
SPEAKER_00: Um it's partially because I think in those moments, loving someone who is pure evil in your mind feels like you're losing ground or not standing for truth or whatever it might be.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but that is no one is just like pure evil, right?
SPEAKER_00: God sees everyone in their complexity.
SPEAKER_00: I think this is particularly challenging in our cultural moment today, right?
SPEAKER_00: We naturally do this as people, I think this is just a natural thing people do, but social media and news has only taken our worst impulses and just exponentially increased them.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: So when we see people who disagree with us or do things that we wouldn't do or we think are wrong, like we now see them as like pure evil.
SPEAKER_00: We turn them into enemies.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so if you're going to be on social media or watch the news, I think you have a responsibility to make sure you're not being formed into someone that doesn't look like Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: That you're not being formed into someone who can't love and can only make caricatures.
SPEAKER_00: You need to be actively thinking and praying about how am I resisting the way these algorithms and billionaires are trying to form me and instead submitting your life and your heart and your thoughts to Jesus and his kingdom.
SPEAKER_00: Third point here that's been helpful for me is get it's kind of a word salad as I was reading it this morning.
SPEAKER_00: Uh get proactive about learning and expanding your empathetic imagination.
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
SPEAKER_00: A lot of times I think we think like, how could I possibly love this person who believes this stupid thing that I cannot even like see any merit in, right?
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so sometimes I think what we have to do to love is like actually expand the our imagination for empathy.
SPEAKER_00: If you don't know how someone could believe something and still be a follower of Jesus, I think you have a responsibility to figure out how.
SPEAKER_00: How did they get there?
SPEAKER_00: Why do they believe that?
SPEAKER_00: They can't be a complete idiot.
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure there's some reason that went into their thoughts or what they're thinking, right?
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so this is how we love is by getting proactive, like going out of our way to try to understand people that are different than us.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Empathy hinges on being able to use our imagination to put ourselves in someone else's shoes, to understand their perspective, to understand what's going on for them.
SPEAKER_00: Now, the most fun way to do this, I think, is by watching movies, okay?
SPEAKER_00: I the the uh critic Roger Ebert once said that movies are empathy machines, right?
SPEAKER_00: So you have like the music and the cinematography and the acting.
SPEAKER_00: Help us get into someone's shoes in a way that like reading a Wikipedia article just doesn't do, right?
SPEAKER_00: So one of my spiritual practices is watching movies.
SPEAKER_00: I'm only half joking.
SPEAKER_00: But trying to watch movies or to read books of people that are different than me, just to understand like who are that who are these people that I'm tempted to caricaturize?
SPEAKER_00: Who are these people that I think don't have a leg to stand on, you know, with what they believe or how they live their life, and trying to understand.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Um, Pixar movies help me, honestly, as an as a parent, to have one of the like weird revelations in my life is to realize that I'm like the angry parent in a Pixar movie, right?
SPEAKER_00: I used to like resonate with the kids, and now I'm like, oh wait, that dad really has a point here.
SPEAKER_00: Like, come on, you know, but Pixar movies help me empathize with my kids and remember what it's like to feel misunderstood, to feel pushed aside, to remember what it's like to feel like someone doesn't have enough time for you, right?
SPEAKER_00: So movies, books can help us do that.
SPEAKER_00: But also we need to listen to people we disagree with, seek out other opinions, right?
SPEAKER_00: Not just like the caricature version of someone's belief or the straw man that's built up purely to tear down, but to reach out to someone to do some research and understand why people do the things they do, right?
SPEAKER_00: You still might not agree with them.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not asking you to agree with everyone in the world who believes something different than you or thinks or lives differently than you, but I can guarantee that having a deeper understanding of who someone is, why they do what they do, has an effect on the way you show up in conversation and in love.
SPEAKER_00: And do it when you're not fired up.
SPEAKER_00: That's what I mean by proactively, right?
SPEAKER_00: When you're fired up, like you're black and white, like you cannot listen to someone's argument or what they have to say or their justification.
SPEAKER_00: So spend some time, like, you know, doing that, learning and listening and understanding when you're not in the heat of the moment.
SPEAKER_00: And then this last one has been super helpful for me over these last couple weeks.
SPEAKER_00: Train yourself to see your self-focused reactions, thoughts, and feelings as triggers to love more deeply, right?
SPEAKER_00: To love other people the way we want to be treated.
SPEAKER_00: So here's what I mean.
SPEAKER_00: Give you a few examples.
SPEAKER_00: One of them is parenting, okay?
SPEAKER_00: You know, I live in a house with three girls.
SPEAKER_00: Um, there's a lot of emotions in my house.
SPEAKER_00: I get yelled at probably on a daily basis, if I'm honest, right?
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, and I've heard it's only gonna get worse.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I love my girls.
SPEAKER_00: In the moment, though, I think to myself, I have these feelings, they're not selfish feelings, they're just self-focused.
SPEAKER_00: I think, like, gosh, I really don't like being treated disrespectfully.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: And so as I've been meditating on this, then this has been a trigger for me to be like, how do I talk to my kids?
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't like the way they treat me, and I know I'm not yelling at them, I know I'm not doing what they're doing, but am I loving them and being as respectful as I expect them to be to me?
SPEAKER_00: Right, and the answer is often no.
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, like it's become a great moment to look at myself and see how I am loving.
SPEAKER_00: Right, uh, on Monday, I got home, I was kind of tired, I just wanted to like disengage.
SPEAKER_00: For some reason, I was really exhausted.
SPEAKER_00: And I felt like I just needed some extra grace, right?
SPEAKER_00: It's a self-focused thought, it's not a selfish thought, it's just a self-focused thought.
SPEAKER_00: And I realized in that moment, because of meditating on this, on this scripture and and being connected to God and all this, I realized like, wow, I'm really quick to want grace for myself, to see all the reasons why I deserve grace and patience from other people.
SPEAKER_00: Am I that quick to extend grace to other people who need it?
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: I think I'm okay at it, but the answer is like, oh, not as good as I want other people to do to me.
SPEAKER_00: Right, so thinking this way has helped me love better, not perfectly, but better.
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, trying to get into someone else's shoes, like actually live this out.
SPEAKER_00: You know, in the morning, every morning, if the girls get ready in time for school, they can play with toys.
SPEAKER_00: And then when I say, okay, it's time for us to walk up to school, there's almost always a moment of no, and then I most of the time I'm really annoyed.
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, come on, we do this every day.
SPEAKER_00: But then I think I'm in their shoes, I'm like, okay, if I was playing with toys and someone said, hey, let's go do some math, I would probably also be angry, right?
SPEAKER_00: Now that doesn't mean I say, you know, right, you guys got a point, we're not going to school anymore, we're done.
SPEAKER_00: But it helps me show up differently in that moment with them.
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, this does kind of suck.
SPEAKER_00: This is really hard.
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
SPEAKER_00: We still have to do it.
SPEAKER_00: Come on, let's go.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm more loving in that moment.
SPEAKER_00: All right, think about work.
SPEAKER_00: Work is often a place maybe we don't think about in regards to spiritual formation.
SPEAKER_00: So we're just going to get a paycheck, do a job, whatever it might be.
SPEAKER_00: But work, I think, is one of the primary places for our spiritual formation because we spend so much time there.
SPEAKER_00: And we're around people that are different than us and in, you know, sometimes stressful situations.
SPEAKER_00: And so we have these opportunities to lean in and allow God to form us in our relationship with people at work.
SPEAKER_00: Um so when you're feeling gossiped about and like, gosh, I feel like people are against me, that can be a trigger to remember, like, ooh, I don't want to do that to other people.
SPEAKER_00: That's not how I want to be, because I don't like this feeling.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: If you have a boss that isn't like clear, doesn't have high ex or has too high of expectations, or whatever it might be, that can be a like, those are legitimate feelings you might be feeling, but they're an opportunity to also be like, ooh, I want to make sure I'm not doing this to the people around me.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: You can treat the people you manage the way you would want to be treated if you were being managed.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: You can treat your boss the way you would want to be treated if you were someone's boss.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: There's all these opportunities for us to practice this Jesus-looking love that looks out for the needs of others and extends empathy to others in our work.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and friendships in marriage, right?
SPEAKER_00: Our deepest relationships are opportunities where we um the deepest opportunities for connection and love, and also the biggest opportunities for pain and hurt and disappointment.
SPEAKER_00: And so if there's something you're wanting in a relationship, whether it's in your marriage, whether it's with a friend, like do that.
SPEAKER_00: Be that type of person that you are wanting and embody that type of love.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Just because you're comfortable with someone, don't forget to extend them the same grace and patience and love that you would want.
SPEAKER_00: Now we can go on and on, right?
SPEAKER_00: Our strangers, customers, neighbor, like tons of relationships in the world.
SPEAKER_00: But one thing, as I was thinking about this, an area kept coming up as feeling really significant, and that is how we engage politically.
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
SPEAKER_00: We are in a supercharged political moment.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, we have been for years with polarization and news and social media and all these things.
SPEAKER_00: And over the last you know, few weeks and months, and like everything has just been amped up, like the chargedness is through the roof.
SPEAKER_00: And people are feeling a lot of really strong feelings right now.
SPEAKER_00: Strong, like legitimate, understandable feelings.
SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing I see is that politicians and news outlets and social media want to channel and use these strong feelings to create more hate and polarization and enemy making in our world.
SPEAKER_00: And I think that Jesus' teaching here could help us embody the type of love that we're called to embody as part of the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_00: So here's a couple examples.
SPEAKER_00: I know, because I've talked to quite a few people who are feeling feeling very fearful right now about the state of the world.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and you're maybe frustrated that your fears aren't being taken seriously by other people or being listened to, or they're kind of being sidelined, right?
SPEAKER_00: And the devil, I think, wants to feed that fear and to make you more fearful and use it, use that that fear, that legitimate fear, to make enemies of anyone you disagree with.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I think Jesus' teaching here, as I was thinking on it, reflecting on it, can flip the script a little bit.
SPEAKER_00: Like, what if this feeling of like, man, I really don't like being afraid and feeling like my fears are just being pushed aside?
SPEAKER_00: What if we use that as an opportunity to be more empathetic towards other fears in the world?
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: Things that people are afraid of that we tend to push aside.
SPEAKER_00: What if instead we used our current experience to be like, man, I don't want anyone else to feel the way I'm feeling?
SPEAKER_00: Like my fears don't matter.
SPEAKER_00: And I want to extend that type of love to other people instead of dismiss them.
SPEAKER_00: I want to see if there's something to pay attention to in other people's fears, just like I want other people to do to me.
SPEAKER_00: Right, I know a lot of people are feeling really unheard or misrepresented politically, right?
SPEAKER_00: Just, you know, Thanksgiving's coming and you're gonna be with your family to talk about politics.
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you'll feel that experience of being unheard or misrepresented or kind of pushed to the side.
SPEAKER_00: Um, like people just paint a caricature or a straw man of what feels very important to you politically and what you believe.
SPEAKER_00: And again, that feeling can be a trigger towards a more hate and enemy making.
SPEAKER_00: Like, can you believe them?
SPEAKER_00: I can't believe they do that, whatever.
SPEAKER_00: Or it can be a resolve to be like, I really don't like this feeling of being misheard, of someone just making a caricature out of something I think is really important and we should be paying attention to.
SPEAKER_00: And instead flip that to be like, and I want to make sure I don't mishear and misrepresent and push aside other people just because I disagree with them.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that'll change what you believe or your values or your convictions, but I can guarantee that posture will change the way you show up in relationships.
SPEAKER_00: And it is a much more Jesus looking posture than what comes naturally to us in those moments.
SPEAKER_00: Right, to treat others the way you would want to be treated.
SPEAKER_00: Now, I already know some of the objections to all of this.
SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, wait, but they don't do the same thing, right?
SPEAKER_00: And this is true with politics, it's true with parenting, it's true with relationships, it's true in the workplace.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's not really that fair, right?
SPEAKER_00: It's not fair that you might be perfectly loving to your kids and they're still gonna lose it on you in the morning when you're trying to get them to go to school, hypothetically, right?
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's not fair that you might step into loving dialogue with someone and try to give them the benefit of the doubt and be charitable and try to understand them, and they might just bully you and be aggressive and not listen to anything you have to say.
SPEAKER_00: But that's the thing about Jesus looking love.
SPEAKER_00: It's not about fairness, it's not about keeping score, it's not about only extending love to the people in our world who deserve it.
SPEAKER_00: When I do weddings, I talk about love, I know big surprise.
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I'm also kind of a bummer because I talk about how hard your marriage is about to be.
SPEAKER_00: Like, maybe not now, hopefully not now, but in a few years, like things are going to be difficult.
SPEAKER_00: Um, and one of the things I say is that a love to build a life on is a love that's willing to lay down your scorecard and fight for love and that relationship, right?
SPEAKER_00: And it's not about being right, it's not about keeping score, it's not about loving people who deserve it.
SPEAKER_00: It's about extending love no matter what.
SPEAKER_00: And it feels unjust and unfair, but this is what we see in Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: He didn't wait for us to be lovable, right?
SPEAKER_00: He did not wait for me to get my act together to love me or to clean myself up.
SPEAKER_00: In fact, Romans 5.8 says this.
SPEAKER_00: While we were still sinners, Jesus died for us, right?
SPEAKER_00: When we didn't deserve it, when we hadn't earned it.
SPEAKER_00: And when we're rooted in that kind of love with an awareness of wow, how much I've been forgiven for, how how much grace God has extended to me, then we can extend that same type of love to the people around us, right?
SPEAKER_00: That defies logic, defies like what works or what we expect.
SPEAKER_00: Like, because it's not about that.
SPEAKER_00: It's about loving no matter what.
SPEAKER_00: It's by being faithful to Jesus' vision of how we are to love other people created in God's image, no matter whether they deserve it or not.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: That love doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna change anyone's mind.
SPEAKER_00: That type of love doesn't mean you have to change your mind, but it changes how we show up and how we love people around us.
SPEAKER_00: All right, as we wrap up here, here's a couple actions that maybe you know exactly what to do.
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
SPEAKER_00: We want to respond to God's word in faith, um, not just like listen to it and be like, wow, that was a great now, my that box is even bigger than I've checked.
SPEAKER_00: Like we want to actually live it out.
SPEAKER_00: So here's we always have a couple prayerful reflection questions if you have time to journal or pray and just think about your love and allow yourself to be open to God's Spirit and what he might show to you.
SPEAKER_00: Who do you struggle to have empathy for?
SPEAKER_00: Who do you repeatedly find yourself turning into a caricature or having zero patience for?
SPEAKER_00: And like, why is that?
SPEAKER_00: What do you think God wants you to know about that?
SPEAKER_00: Getting underneath the why.
SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes God can set us free from things or give us vision for things that we may not be aware of so that we can love better.
SPEAKER_00: But then as a practice, couple things here.
SPEAKER_00: One, create space to pray for those people in your life you're struggling to empathize with and love.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's your kids, maybe it's your boss, maybe it's the people you politically disagree with.
SPEAKER_00: Create space to pray.
SPEAKER_00: Open yourself up to God's love and perspective and say, God, help me to see them the way you see them, and then spend some time meditating on Jesus' words in your interactions with people this week.
SPEAKER_00: Right?
SPEAKER_00: When you get home from work, uh, when you're at dinner with your kids or your family, when you're at lunch with your coworkers, when you're working on a work project, whatever it might be, spend some time just meditating on these simple words that you've probably already memorized.
SPEAKER_00: And again, they won't necessarily fix all the relationships in your life.
SPEAKER_00: Um, they might not fix the difficult interaction you're having, but they will help you show up as you're prayerfully connected to the Holy Spirit in a more Jesus-looking way to people who don't deserve it.
SPEAKER_00: And that's what love is, though, is that we show up and we love no matter what.
SPEAKER_00: So let me pray for us, um, then we can go enjoy the beautiful day.
SPEAKER_00: God, thank you so much for your love.
SPEAKER_00: God, that that your love is so amazing that it extended to us no matter what.
SPEAKER_00: No conditions, um, no waiting till we had made it far enough in our spiritual journey, none of that.
SPEAKER_00: It was love because of who we were, because of you, because you've created us in your image.
SPEAKER_00: It was a love based on you.
SPEAKER_00: So, God, I just ask that you would help us to channel that same type of love to the people around us.
SPEAKER_00: God, you would give us an imagination for how to love like you in all sorts of situations in our life.
SPEAKER_00: God, that you help us to stay connected to you in a deep way as we're in mundane conversations, as we're in really emotionally charged conversations.
SPEAKER_00: God, just help us to stay connected to your heart and to your spirit so that we might show people this radical love that looks nothing like the love of the world.
SPEAKER_00: So we thank you for that love and grace.
SPEAKER_00: And even though we're probably gonna mess it up five or six times within the next couple hours, that you still have grace and love for us anyway, and want to keep inviting us into something better.
SPEAKER_00: So we thank you for that.
SPEAKER_00: In your name we pray.
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, guys.
SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to sign up for the blood drive if that's something you want to do.