Frustration and Faithfulness

Transcript

A Marriage Phrase And A Warning

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome, welcome. My name's Cameron. I'm one of the pastors here at Cross Point. It's good to be here with you guys. I've been married for about 15 years now to my wife Megan. She's she's like looks so uncomfortable right now. So one of the things when we first got married, uh there was this uh thing I noticed. Most of our fights started with a common phrase, okay? So usually I would do something stupid or I wouldn't listen or you know, whatever, fill in the blank of whatever happened. And you hear first a deep breath, right? And Cameron, I love you so much. And at first I would think, like, yeah, that I know you love me, like, why is this coming out so aggressive, right? Um, and then eventually, kind of like the Pavlov's dogs of ringing the bell, I knew, like, okay, something is coming anytime I hear this phrase. Um, but I was still a little confused, like, why is she telling me this? And then one day I realized, oh, I think she's telling herself. She's reminding herself in this moment, like, I'm so frustrated, but I still love you. Like, um, and I share that because I think Paul, in our letter we're reading today, or the section we're reading in Corinthians, is doing something very similar, okay? So we've kind of alluded to the fact that in the church in Corinth, there's a lot of messed up stuff happening, a lot of things he's gonna bring the hammer down on. Um, and so as he's starting his letter, I think what he's doing in the section is a little bit of reminding them and a little bit of reminding himself about something that is true about them that he's thanking God for. Now, in the ancient world, uh there were all sorts of letters, not just the ones we still have in the Bible. Um, and Paul actually, in a lot of ways, follows some of the forms of ancient letters, right? Just like today, if you're writing an email, there's some certain things you do, like, hey, how's it going? And then you say something at the end, like a signature or whatever. Paul did similar things, like he just kind of took on the forms of the ancient world. And one of the kind of pieces that corresponds to what Paul's writing today is called the exordium, something like that. Um, in a lot of the secular letters, it was this little section meant to like butter up your listeners and to woo them and to be like kind of lift them up so they'll be more on your side with whatever it is that you're gonna say, whatever you're gonna share, so they'll like be more likely to agree with you and be on your side. Paul, though, in his letters, does something different, right? He's not gonna lie to them or manipulate them or try to like butter them up in the same way. Uh so he follows the same form, but he's not fake about it. Um, he's not just doing like a compliment sandwich, like, here's some you know, just random good thing, so I can then tell you all the things I hate about you. Oh, and hey, and your hair looks really nice today, too, right? He's not doing that. Um and in the other churches, we'll see he will include things good things in here. So like in Philippians, he talks about uh thanking God because of uh their partnership in the gospel, or Colossians, he talks about um, I thank God because we've heard of your faith in Jesus Christ and the love you have for God's people. So he always approaches these churches with love, which means he sees them in their complexity, the good, the bad, the rough edges, the struggles. Except for Paul with Corinth, there's frankly not a lot of good for him to like lift, like they they haven't even really given him a little crumb to work with here in his opening of the letter. And so let's see how Paul handles how he's gonna like lift them up when they don't really haven't really given him anything. So this is 1 Corinthians chapter 1, verses 4 through 9. He says, I always thank my God for you, because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way, with all kinds of speech, with all knowledge, God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. Therefore, you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Now, if you notice, again, Paul's not gonna lie to them. He's not just gonna like butter them up and woo them for no reason. Um, I'm not just gonna tell them how great they are, so they'll be on his side, as much as they would love that in Corinth, loving kind of uh having pride in their accomplishments. But notice what Paul saw as good wasn't what they did, it was what God had done in them. I think there's something cool about this that as Paul's even writing these people that are probably driving him crazy. The most true and beautiful thing he can affirm is what God is doing in their lives and in their church community. And in a church that prides itself on its accomplishments, on its gifting, on its wisdom, on all of its eloquent leaders, Paul is reframing for them. No, the thing you need to have pride in isn't your own accomplishments, it's what God is doing in you. And he believes this so much that he's able to thank God for the very things, like if we have the whole context of the letter, we'll see he's thanking God for things he is annoyed about and he is going to have to correct, and he is frustrated about that'll come up later. Right? One of the big uh kind of things he talks about way later in the letter is spiritual gifts and gifts of knowledge and words of wisdom, like all these kinds of things. And Paul is thanking God for blessing them with these things that are now driving him crazy and that he's like ready to correct, right? Uh the way I think of it. So I have a three-year-old. If you gave her an ice cream cone and she dropped it on the ground, that's not your fault that she dropped it, right? And I can still thank you for your generosity, even if my three-year-old has made a complete mess of the situation, right? And that's kind of how Paul is relating to the Corinthians in light of what God is doing in them. And so our bottom line for today is that our frustrations must be filtered through God's faithfulness. Right? Our frustrations, we don't want to just like hold on to them and see them all from our perspective, but be open to what God is doing in someone's life if we follow this model that Paul is using. Like Paul didn't let his frustrations with them color his whole perspective. Don't get me wrong, he's gonna call out a whole bunch of things here as we uh explore this letter over the coming weeks. But he was still able to see how God was working and where God had worked in them and how he was moving in their community. So instead of this being a big rant where he's just like condemning them for all the bad things they've done, it becomes this redemptive moment of like, look, this is what God is doing in you, this is how he's gifted you, this is what he's done. Come back to this. Right? Don't don't let it be cut, let don't let all these little things become more important than the God who gave you these gifts. Right? I think of I've never uh gut a deer personally. I've got a squirrel, though, uh, at one time. So I imagine there's some similarities, but probably also different. Um, but you know, if you're gonna gut an animal, there's a whole big process of right draining stuff and cutting out organs and getting the skin away, like all these kinds of things that you need to do to get to the meat that you want. And I imagine a little bit, that's like what Paul is doing here uh with the Corinthians. He's like, there's something still good here at the core, but we need to cut away a whole bunch of this other stuff to get to that good thing. He's not saying, hey, your church is too far gone, you're worthless, you're done. I'm gonna start a new church in Corinth. He's saying, no, there's still something there that we want to get to. And I think living in a culture that cuts people out, that silences people, that just encourages us to see the worst in people we disagree with, there's a lot we could learn from Paul's perspective here. We could really learn from the ability to see people at the core of who they are, even if they've done all sorts of things we disagree with, and that maybe have even hurt us, and see how God is working in the middle of it all. So we're gonna dive kind of into this passage, just go a couple verses by couple verses. So, and kind of what we see Paul affirming in them. So, first we see God has gifted and blessed them. Okay, so he is the one who's gifted them, he is the one who's blessed them. So we're gonna read this little couple verses, verse four and five. Just as a reminder. Um, I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way, with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge. Again, some of that alluding to like wisdom and tongues and words of prophecy and those kinds of things. So he's kind of it's like he's telling the Corinthians, as awesome as you think you are, it's ultimately about God and what he's done in you. God is the source of your giftedness, not you. You are not the reason that we want to celebrate, it's what God is doing. So Paul is subverting this introduction that would normally be about buttering them up, to say, like, hey, it's not about your pride. Instead, here is the real truth that God is the one working in you. Um, and so what's interesting to me is what we see in Corinth isn't just a church that's messed up and sinful, but that some of the things they're going to struggle with, and they are struggling with, are the very good things God has given them. And this, I think, is like the story of our world, right? That God has generously gifted us with so much material blessings, spiritual blessings, desires God has put in us for things, all sorts of things God has gifted us with. And we take them and we twist them and we focus them in on ourselves, and God's good gifts end up becoming sour in our life when they become selfish. Or I had to throw out some sour milk yesterday and it took a little whiff. It's like, oh gosh. But that's what happens in our life when we let what God is doing in us become about us, or we twist it for our own benefit. It goes sour and bad, but unlike sour milk, it can be redeemed, right? Um we turn them inward, we misuse and abuse our gifts. We focus on the gift and the thing that we're experiencing or the material blessing more than the giver of the gift. The Corinthians were doing this, right? Making it all about their own experiences, but we do it as well. And for Paul, the twisting the Corinthians did with their gifts didn't negate the good God was doing. Instead, it was a reason to call them back to that very goodness. So less condemnation, hey, here's all the ways you're failing and you're terrible, and more redemption of there is something good here that God wants to redeem. Now, condemnation usually leads, especially for those of you who are hard on yourselves, I'm way too easy on myself, so I don't struggle with this usually as much. Condemnation leads to shame and spiraling and beating yourself up, but often there's not a whole lot of change that goes with it. Right? You just feel really bad and feel really guilty and get kind of depressed or get really critical or harsh, and then nothing really changes in the long run. Redemption, on the other hand, is allowing God to call what is true true, the ways we've twisted things, and allow him to redeem those things at their core to something better, like what he's called us to. Um, and this kind of twisting of something good is at, frankly, is at the root of a lot of sin. When we look for good things in the wrong places or we take good things and misuse them, that's where we become sinful and we like twist these things. So, like pride is a desire to do something meaningful or accomplish something. It's not necessarily a bad desire, right? But we can twist it and make it about more than it needs to be and make it about ourselves. Um one of the things I struggle with is just like checking out, right? Vegging out, like, oh, I don't want to think about stressful things, hard things, difficult things. Like, I'm just gonna check out and do something else, watch TV, whatever it might be. That desire to escape pain and not deal with suffering or not deal with stress, that's a good desire God has put in me, right? To not want to be like God wants me to be free and whole and like live more calmly and centered and all of those things. The problem is I often take like a shortcut, and instead of going to God for that healing or that work, I take it into my own hands. Right? Technology is great in a lot of ways. It's kind of terrible, but it's but theoretically it's good, right? But it gets twisted and misused for all sorts of negative things. Right? Sex, we're gonna see in the letter, is something good. I know, bold statement here, um, but it often gets twisted and becomes about something more about fulfilling our own desires than serving someone else. We and we look for it in the wrong places. And so it's this good thing that gets twisted and goes sour in our life and causes us to drift away from God. Money is good, but it greed so easily corrupts it, right? Empathy can be something good and beautiful, but can so easily turn into people pleasing, right? All these things in our life uh that are good things at their core can become sour. And instead of beating ourselves up, I want to follow like what Paul's doing here and say there's maybe something good there that God wants to redeem instead. So that'll be one of the action step questions at the end is what is something, like something to pray about this week. What's something in your life that God has given you and gifted you that is going sour, that you've let turn selfish or you've kind of used in the wrong way? Um, so this is helpful for us, our own self-reflection. But I also think one of the things that really struck me as I was kind of sitting with this passage over the last couple weeks is how this posture that Paul has with the church in Corinth can be really helpful as we relate to other people as well. Right? Just like Paul is relating to the Corinthians, like as we relate to the people in our life that are st that we struggle with, that are challenging, that maybe we have friction with, this kind of perspective can be really helpful. Because as much as we don't like to admit it, other people are just like us, right? We like to simplify things, kind of make them into the bad guys, but they are just as complex. They just have just as many things going on inside of them. Um, and usually, not always, but their struggles, their unhealthiness, that friction, there's something good there that gets kind of twisted. Um, like I think of my children, okay? Uh so one of my daughters, you know, we weren't sure if we were gonna do the workday thing. Our youngest one's like three years old, so we're like, I don't know, is this gonna be fun or not? Um we're talking about it at dinner, and one of my daughters kind of caught wind of what we were saying coming on Saturday to do yard work at the church. She goes, No, we are not doing that. Saturday is Sabbath, and Sabbath is for rest. And I was like, oh my gosh. My wife and I looked at each other, we're like, well, I think that means we need to go to the workday because this is not okay. We're not letting this emotion be in the driver's seat right now. Right? And in that moment, there was something good there, like this desire for connection, this desire for rest, this desire to be together as a family. That's a great thing, but it became so like holding on to it with everything she had. It became twisted, and more about that than about like what God has called us to do, which in this case was serving other people. Right? And so it would have been easy to say in that moment, like, how dare you? You are so selfish. What is wrong with you, right? Which part of me was like wanting to say that. Um, but luckily I was dwelling on this passage over these last couple weeks, and it's like, you know what? Like, there's something good here that it's okay to affirm and still challenge. And, you know, it didn't change the outcome, but it changed my posture as I was relating to her and as we were dragging her in the car Saturday morning. Um, those of you with teenagers are probably experiencing this even more so. Uh, but with my older girls and with my toddler, they are like driving for independence. Like they want to be independent. There's all this stuff happening, right? And it's a good thing God has put in them, but it comes out in these sassy attitudes and not listening and arguing and all of this kind of stuff, right? And in the moment, it can be tempting to be like, what is wrong with you? You're not allowed to talk that way, which is all true stuff. Um, but again, dwelling on this passage, realizing, hey, there's actually something good happening here. God has created them to be independent. And I hope they are independent by the time they're 18, right? So we're not living with them forever. Um, so this is a good thing we want to encourage and allow to flourish, but at the same time, there it's getting twisted and there's negativity coming out of it. And so we have to figure out how to parent this. Again, usually the outcome is the same. Like, hey, sorry, you're gonna have to go to your room, you cannot talk to us that way. But my posture in the middle of that is different when I can see the good that is there at the core, when I can see how God is working and shaping and molding them, and I can partner with that instead of just be frustrated at all the behaviors that come out. Right, and the same principle applies in like marriage and friendships with your neighbors, with coworkers that maybe drive you crazy. I won't give any examples of that, because that'd be a little awkward. Um, but you know, like all the people in your life that get under your skin, that bother you, that you have tension with, there's God is at work in their lives. They may be stiff arming it and resisting it, they may be embracing it. You may not be able to see it, but God is working. And if we can have that perspective and partner with what God is doing, it helps, uh, it helps when you're in those moments that are really difficult. All right, next thing we see in this letter, or in this little section of the letter, is that God has already given them what they need. So this is from verses six and seven. God, thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. So the fact that they have these gifts confirms that what they said, what Paul said about Jesus is true because God is working in their lives. Therefore, you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. Now, especially for the church in Corinth, as we continue to read through this letter, there seems to be this desire for like bigger and flashier spiritual experiences and like manifestations of the spirit's gifting that like are bigger and better and kind of showing everyone what's happening, like all the like kind of boasting and prideful. And Paul's telling them no, you have like stop chasing after that stuff. You have what you need right now. That doesn't mean they're doing great or perfect or they have it all together, but they have all the pieces, they don't need to keep searching after and seeking after deeper gifts and like more experiences and more like eloquent leaders or any of those kinds of things. Like God has given them what they need. Uh they obviously still are gonna have a lot of maturing to do, but the pieces are all there. Um, it reminds me of like if you've ever done an escape room or played like an escape room game. Sometimes you get a hint and you're like, oh yeah, I have to go get this other thing to do this puzzle. But sometimes, like, you know, we Megan and I do one um every year kind of around uh advent time. There's like an advent calendar escape room thing, and we'll sit there for like 10 minutes. We're like, what the heck? We feel so stupid trying to like work this thing out. It'll get a clue and you'll get another clue and realize like, oh, we have everything we need. We didn't miss anything. We just have to figure out how to put this together to solve this puzzle, right? And I imagine it's similar for the Corinthians. Like, Paul's like, no, you have everything. Quit searching out more, quit seeking out more things. You have it all there. You just need to like actually put it together and do something with it. Right, and I think we often do this. We kind of use this as an excuse. Like, if I only had more of this or more knowledge or more whatever, more maturity, whatever it might be, then I would be able to do what God has called me to do. And we can let our sense of inadequacy keep us from doing what God has called us to do as people, with parenting, with discipling other people, in relationships, how we serve at church. Like, there are so many times I talk to someone and they say, like, oh, I don't feel ready for that, or I don't know if I know enough in order to do that. You know, I usually try to honor people and be like, okay, yeah, that but I but I wonder if that's true. Because frankly, I often don't feel ready for the things God has thrust me into, right? I often feel unequipped or unprepared. And there's this old cliche that, you know, you if you don't like cliches, I'm sorry, it's a little cheesy. God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called, right? God does not get us all the way ready, like so we just feel like perfectly ready for every challenge that we experience or every new thing he calls us into. But as we take those steps, God does work in us. So it's like Paul's telling the Corinthians, hey, you don't have to like keep searching for more things, just do what God has called you to do. And the same is true for us. Like stepping into those things is how God matures us and grows us often. And finally, uh, in this last little section, God will continue. To work in them if they let him. This comes from uh verses eight and nine. Uh says, He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless, right? Which is not true about them right now. You'll be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Right? It's about God's faithfulness, not about their abilities, not about their wisdom and all the spiritual giftings that they have that God has given them, but about God's faithfulness is the thing that will make them blameless and hold them to the end. Right, so Paul is about to lay out all the reasons why they're not measuring up and all the things that are a challenge in their church and with individuals. And in all of this, it's again, it's not condemnation. There's an invitation and reminder that God does the impossible. Right? God created them as a community, God gifted them, God has saved them, God can mature them as well if they will submit to it and allow him to. When Paul mentions the day of our Lord Jesus Christ, it's like a callback to in the Old Testament. There was something called the day of the Lord, which would come up in a lot of the prophetic passages and stuff. Probably I one of the most famous ones is an Amos, uh, this prophet in the Old Testament, where uh the prophet is talking to Israel and he's like, Hey, you guys are excited for the day of the Lord, the day that God would come and judge everyone, and then Israel would be like, you know, theoretically uh redeemed and kind of shown like, hey, you were faithful all along. He's like, hey, you think you want this, it's actually gonna be terrible for you because you guys are so terrible. It can be a little bit of a bummer of a book, but um he says, You think it'll be a day of joy, it will be a day of weeping. Where is it? I saved it in here. One of my favorite ones. It'll be like you ran away from a lion only to meet a bear. Like you put your hand, hand, rested your hand on your house and a snake bit you. He's like, this is what God, the day of the Lord will be for you if you are not faithful to God, right? You will be judged. Just like you're like waiting for all the other nations to be judged. If you're not faithful, you will be judged as well. In fact, uh, God also says this through Amos. He says, I hate, I despise your religious festivals, your assemblies are a stench to me. And the whole point of it all is that the people were doing all the right things on the outside, like looking really good on the outside, but their hearts were corrupted and they weren't caring about justice and all the things God had called them to care about. Um, and so this day of the Lord that they were all excited about, they're like, hey, you better watch out. You're actually not living the way God has called you to live. Right, which is a really apt uh connection for the Corinthians. Like you're doing all this spiritual stuff on the outside. People are speaking in tongues and words of prophecy and all sorts of stuff that's like, would you make you think like, hey, they must be very spiritual. Um, but inside your heart is corrupted. You're just puffing yourself up and it's all empty and rotten inside. It's like Paul saying, stop focusing on all those things that ultimately don't matter. Um instead, make this a day of joy, not weeping. And God is faithful to do that if you will submit to him. He can make you blameless, he will hold you fast to the end. Um, and this is the goodness and faithfulness of God. That no matter what we have going on in life, no matter how far we've drifted, no matter how many things we've done, whatever it might be, if you lean in and trust him and follow him, he will keep working in your life, maturing you, getting you ready for that day, making you blameless, helping you hold firm. All right, we're gonna move to our action steps here. So, you know, we always encourage uh, you know, to do something with this. Don't just be like, cool, that was nice. Um, but actually like think about at some point during the week. These are all online, you can find. Um, couple questions about what maybe you've twisted or let go sour in your life, someone you have challenging interactions with, especially someone maybe you see a lot or interact with a lot. Just think, God, how are you working in their life? And and get a glimpse into what's happening down there. And then as a practice, just move towards that person, whoever that might be.