Elevate Your Mindset with Patty Duque

I'm joined today by Patty Duque. Patty is a mindset coach, she's a best selling author and speaker. She contributed to Elevate Your Mindset, she's passionate about helping others get clarity, gaining confidence and taking action towards harnessing their happiness and mastering their mindset.

Patty's experience with being a co-author was not at all what she expected, but it was an exercise in self-discovery which led her to leave her corporate job and become a mindset coach.  In this episode, Patty will discuss Fixed vs. Growth Mindset and the ways we sabotage ourselves, and how we can dig deeper to find our true "why" and really achieve what we want.

Patty's top 3 tips to creating wealth:

1. Know what you really want. Know where you are and where you want to be.
2. Why do you want to build that bridge between where you are and where you want to be?
3. How are you going to go about it?

Connect with Patty:
Patty Duque on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/patty.duque.57
On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pattyduque.biz/
Elevate Your Mindset with Patty Duque on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/elevateyourmindsetwithPattyDuque

Connect with Magic:

A Magical Life Podcast on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amagicallifepodcast/

On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wholisticnaturalhealth/

Online: https://wholisticnaturalhealth.com.au

Transcript

Magic Barclay : 0:02

Welcome to A Magical Life: health, wealth and weight loss. I'm your host Magic Barclay, lead practitioner at Wholistic Natural Health Australia and number one best selling author. In this podcast, I aim to give you practical tips on how to accelerate and sustain your health, increase your financial, spiritual and emotional wealth, and to look at something that haunts many of us needlessly: weight loss. In some episodes, I'll have guests available to give you even more tips, but in others, the floor is yours. Drop us a line at A Magical Life Podcast on Facebook and let me know what you would like to know more about. Now sit back and enjoy because it is time for you to create and truly discover a magical life. Welcome back to Magical life. I'm your host Magic Barclay and I'm joined today by Patty Duque. Patty is a mindset coach, she's a best selling author and speaker. She contributed to Elevate Your Mindset, she's passionate about helping others get clarity, gaining confidence and taking action towards harnessing their happiness and mastering their mindset. Welcome, Patty.

Patty Duque : 1:24

Hello, Magic. Thank you for having me.

Magic Barclay : 1:27

My pleasure. Now, Patty, I've met you through an educational group that we're both members of the community. And I've seen these beautiful books, the Elevate book series, you wrote a chapter in, "Elevate Your Mindset," what was that like as an author?

Patty Duque : 1:45

Well, magic, I, to be honest, I had never actually considered myself to be an author, or it was never really in my bucket list to write a book. So it was actually when the opportunity was presented to me, I remember the speaker from stage, they started saying, "everybody has a book in them." And I thought, yeah, no, no, that's not me. And then I actually kept thinking a little bit further and I thought, well, why not? And that's when I actually jumped at it. So I am a co-author, that means that there's 10 other people that are part of this book Elevate Your Mindset. I originally thought that I had this whole vision of being an author, like, you probably would see in the movies that you know, if you wanted to write a book, you have to go and maybe rent a cabin out in the woods and, you know, you'd be there sitting with your laptop with a blank sheet of paper for months and months trying to get inspired and I thought, Oh my gosh, that's so not me. And lo and behold, it wasn't like that. Because this was all organized through a company called Author Express that actual writing of the book was really, really smooth and easy. They have a really good structure, which meant that we got, at least all the authors got, I would say about 70 questions that we would choose from, we could choose about 20, I would say, and then they gave us the number of words our chapter would have. And then I just took it from there. So I put it upon myself to just wake up every morning, I was working in corporate full time, so I would just go to bed early, wake up early, and I just gave myself you know, the time to just answer one a day. Some, you know, are a few sentences, some can be a page or two. So it was very, very interesting. I actually really enjoyed the process and I found it actually painless, really. I thought it was going to be you know, a bit of a nightmare, but it wasn't.

Magic Barclay : 3:55

That's fantastic. Now, to get your mindset from, "I don't know if I could write something" to actually delivering your chapter, what tools did you use to reframe that, to change that mindset?

Patty Duque : 4:11

I guess I took it as part of a self discovery simply because the questions were quite personal in a way. So I have to say that even writing that chapter really pivoted the way I think and the way I do things I probably had done them, or the way I thought about it before was just do it you know, give anything a go and then and I've always been on that mindset of, you know, give it a go and give it a good go. You know, if you want to try yoga or any sport, give it a go for a month. So you have good days, you have bad days, you have rainy days, you have days you want to go and you have days you don't want to go. So I guess I did the same with this. But when you start the journey of answering these questions, in the surface they seem quite easy. You know, they're like, Oh, yeah, I'll just answer it. But for you to really, I think, share something meaningful, you really have to go in within and find that sort of little gem or that little genius zone or that learning that you had, that you can then share with others that could potentially help someone else. And through that journey, I actually realized then through answering these questions, there's a lot that came out of me from my childhood, which I never ever, ever even thought and it actually gave me a lot of validation moving forward, because after that, I left the corporate world and that's when I built my own business. And I became a mindset coach on where I was heading. So it was actually a personal challenge, which has helped a lot of people because of the sort of comments that I've been getting from other people because they resonate with some of the things that I've written. So that on its own then makes it 10 times more rewarding.

Magic Barclay : 6:09

That's fantastic. Now mindset is your focus. What can mindset do to accelerate someone's health, be it emotional, spiritual or physical?

Patty Duque : 6:21

I didn't initially start with mindset Magic, but I ended up in mindset. So I'll tell you, I started first with happiness. And I, lo and behold, realize everybody really wants happiness, but no one really knows how to get there. Or they think that it's like a destination, but it's really a journey. So throughout that whole time, I realized that it's really mindset, your mindset, the one that can determine that. So I would say that the big thing whether it's for your health, whether it's for your financial gains, or whether it's relationship. It really is, you know, whether you think you can or you can't, you're right. And that's something that Henry Ford once said, and it's so true, because what I find is a lot of times, we get given opportunities or we get challenges thrown at us. But we are the ones that tend to trip ourselves first before even giving it a go. So when I started researching more and more around mindset, and around really understanding that we all have a choice, and it's that choice, the one that's going to make us do something or not do something, succeed or not succeed, whatever success means to you. That's when I really realized that I - what I think the missing link in a lot of things is that mindset. And going a little bit further is probably even the difference between fixed and growth mindset. Because I don't know if you've heard of this terminology, this was all coined by Dr. Carol Dweck, from University of Stanford, and she's done a lot and extensive research on this. And it was only when I really started reading more and more about it. And it also comes from before that, but it really is the focus that you give it from the start. And whenever it gets thrown at you, the - if your focus is to really, you know, not look bad or want to perform well or have a good outcome, you're finding yourself more in a fixed mindset. As for if you're wanting to really grow and really just enjoy the process and improve every time you do something, that's more around growth mindset. So when I really studied studying this a lot more, I started realizing the differences -well, even with my own children, with people around me and most importantly, with my clients. And when I break this whole concept of growth mindset and fixed mindset with my clients, it's almost like they have an "aha" moment because growth mindset really is all about, you know, is when people really believe that their abilities can actually be developed through persistence, effort, and really hard work, right. So that really creates a love for learning, a love for becoming resilient and a love for making mistakes and being okay with it. As for having a fixed mindset, it really is more about when people believe that their qualities, such as your intelligence or talents or traits are really things that you're born with so that you just cannot develop. And when you start asking yourself under different circumstances, for example, if you're thrown a challenge, if you try to avoid it at all cost that's taking you towards that whole fixed mindset. On the other hand, if you're faced with a challenge and you're willing to embrace it, that's taking you towards a growth mindset. So I really believe that mindset plays such a big role in our day to day because every day we have obstacles. Every day, we get provided feedback, every day, we have to put in the effort, but sometimes we don't want to. Because if you are asked to put in effort in, you think oh, well, it's worth it because, you know, last time I did, I didn't get anything for it. And that's a fixed mindset. But if you're saying, Okay, I'm gonna go out, no pain, no gain, that is a growth mindset. So that whole awareness of where you're sitting between the fixed and the growth mindset can really make or make or break you. I really believe that because the achievements that you then see is - with a fixed mindset unfortunately, you fail to really achieve your full potential and you fail to really see what you're capable of.

Magic Barclay : 11:10

Patty, it's a little bit like tunnel vision with a fixed mindset, you zero in on what you want your result to be, whether it be beating a disease or becoming more calm and spiritual and more present, or whatever your result is, when you've got that tunnel vision, you miss all the little nuances along the way, if you don't have the growth mindset. Someone could come into your life with a new book for you to listen to or read, and that might just have some pearls of wisdom to get you where you need to be. If you have that tunnel vision, you'll miss those pearls of wisdom.

Patty Duque : 11:47

That's right. And it's spot on Magic because then you know, we're the ones that get on and in our own way, you know, because then we fail to really see how good we can be. As for when you develop a growth mindset, you really achieve higher goals and things that you've never expected. And when you're talking about health, there's people that have lost kilos and kilos, you know, so much weight. And they even say, I never thought I'd be able to do this or people that you know, had never earned a certain amount of money. And then, you know, within six months, they tripled that and they're like, wow, I never thought I'd be able to do this. But because they have developed that growth mindset, they have opened up that opportunity of receiving more, even with relationships. So yeah, I really think that that is sort of the key to it, and that's why I am quite passionate about it and why I decided to really focus and hone in more in that.

Magic Barclay : 12:50

That's fantastic. Now what would be your top three tips to creating wealth now when we talk wealth here we talk, personal, financial and emotional. So what are your top three tips to creating wealth?

Patty Duque : 13:02

Well, first of all, I would say, knowing what you actually want, I think clarity is really important. So when you're talking about wealth, I, one thing where I start with all my clients is really what does that mean for you? And, you know, what does wealth mean for you? For some people wealth is, you know, having abundant energy and for some people is earning trillions of dollars for some people is like, you know what, I just want to have enough so I don't have to worry financially. So unless we really understand and clarify what that means to us same as success for some people's successes, you know, until I have that house and that car or that relationship, then I won't be successful or I won't be happy. For some people, that's not even in the radio. So first of all, understand where you are, what you want. And in order to then get where you want to be, we really need to know where we are and where we want to head. So it's almost like building a bridge between a gully between two sides. And really understanding how we're going to get there. And the reason we're going to be able to get there I would say would be number two is knowing your why why do you want to build that bridge? Why do you want to get that rich or wealthy? Or why do you want that body or why do you want to lose that those kilos so if I can give you an example it would be I have this client that originally reached out to me because she wanted to lose some weight because she had had three kids back to back and had not been able to really lose the extra kilos. Therefore she reached out and we started working. And it was only till we did the exercise of the five why's and what that means is you really understand why you want to lose the weight. So initially I asked her, "Well, why would you like to lose the weight?" And she sort of said, Oh, you know, because I seem to be a lot happier when I was, you know, a certain size and you know, I want to fit into those jeans again. And I said, Okay, so why do you want to fit into those jeans? And then she said, Oh, well, because I used to get a lot of compliments. And that really gave me a lot of self confidence. And that made me feel good. And I said, Okay, and why did that make you feel good. And as we started digging, and digging and digging deeper, and that's what the five why's are about, we actually got to a really important emotional reason, because as you would have seen the previous ones were - I wouldn't say vain, but there were a lot more superficial, but when we kept digging, it turned out that she literally wanted to do it more for her kids because her mom had passed away at a quite young age. So she She didn't have the health and the fitness to be able to play around with her as a child. So she didn't want that to happen with her kids. And I knew that once we hit that, it's you just hit a nerve and that nerve is the real why and when you hit an emotion that is that strong, you know that that person is going to go ahead and lose the weight because now they realize that it's a true reason why they want to be, you know, 5, 10, 30 kilos less, that it's not necessarily for a superficial sort of, you know, external reason, but more for an internal reason. So I think the Why is critical in that respect. And then I would just say, have a plan, take action, make that decision and take action, ensuring that you know how you're going to get there. So one is having that clarity of building the bridge to, you know, knowing your true why you want to build that bridge or why you meaning why you want to lose that weight or gain that amount of money or gain that relationship that you want. And then three is how are you going to go about it? So, if we're going to talk about a relationship, I can give you an example with another client who, you know, she sort of said, Look, I've tried everything I have joined sport teams have I go out I'm very open to meet new people yet I'm not meeting the person I want. So she took it really upon herself like a plan and she put an action plan and actually reached out to an agency and this was, you know, was a great I've never used the main dating agency, but she did and since then a few clients have as well and guess what, long behold within months she met a person that she was meant to be with and now has three kids with him. So you just, if something's not working, you just need to try a new strategy. We just don't need to necessarily give up. That is so true. So true, Patty. Now, we always talk about weight loss here. Weight loss itself, or weight gain is a symptom. But what can mindset do? I know that you've helped your husband with his weight. What was the relationship between his weight and mindset? Well, let me go back a little bit. So first of all, my husband, yes, he has lost about twen- Well, not about he has lost 25 kilos. And the best thing of all, this was back in 2001, between 2001 and 2002. At the time, we were not married. But we didn't know each other and the whole thing that ignited him to lose the weight was simply because I challenged him to see who could lose more weight If we did a two week detox. Now, I've basically weighed the same amounts, you know, give or take 2, 3, 5 kilos. So, and he was 25 kilos heavier than what he is now. So, you know, he was bound to win this challenge, but it was more to ignite sort of a purpose in him, or more to create that awareness on what he was eating. So he was completely oblivious of probably the calorie intake. He was oblivious of really the calories that a lot of the food he was eating what it had or even the nutritional value that it had. So it wasn't really up to me to tell him Hey, you need to replace you know, that sausage roll with, you know, a salad or maybe a chicken roll or salad roll. It was more - it was more through - and because he's an engineer, so he very much had an Excel spreadsheet. Because he's like, Okay, if I'm gonna lose this weight, I want to really sort of test it out. So he was keeping count of all the calories and what the grams that he should be losing. Depending on, you know, what each of the things he was eating, what it should relate to him when he realized that it was literally an equation that it was real, you know, his spreadsheet was exactly, or it's like the to what the scale was reflected, he realized, maybe there's something to this. So I think more than mindset, and part of the whole mindset journey is about awareness. Is about self awareness, because we often sort of point fingers at other people or they say, oh, that diet's not going to work for you, or this is the best diet for you. But we never know, you know, there's genes involved. There's a lot of things that can get involved. So it really is ignite something within that person to really ask themselves those questions. And that's where mindset really comes in. Because you need to be open to hearing that and open to questioning yourself, oh, should I really eat this or should I eat that? Maybe this can benefit me. And well, in those two weeks, maybe he would have lost five kilos, which is, you know, it's a good amount but for him, it really made, more than anything made him realize what he was eating was not serving him because he was - he didn't have the energy that he now had. You know, if he ate white rice, he had replaced it, let's say with brown rice, because that's what this detox sort of did. The detox was not about fasting or not eating or anything like that; it was more around following a healthy diet. And then he took it on board and like that he just literally changed his lifestyle, in the sense that he would exercise By but he wasn't exercising, probably at the right times that would suit him best. He wasn't definitely feeding himself the sort of nutrients that he needed, whether it was before training or after training or when he was going to be doing, you know, long term training sessions. So I think the mindset was more one being open to it, open to really doing something different. And he sort of needed to really measure it to really sort of validate it for himself. And on me on the other hand, all I did was really point him. All you need to do is sort of open, sort of open these loops for people to question themselves and be able to give themselves permission to do things differently. Because had I told him Look, you need to eat this, you need to do this, you need to not do that. That was just never gonna work.

Magic Barclay : 22:55

Well, he would have created resistance if you'd told him and that's the whole thing with a growth mindset. It's not about being told what to do. It's about you knowing what feels good for you, what will work for you and understanding how you tick. That is how you grow with your mindset.

Patty Duque : 23:14

That's right. Exactly. And that is, it is building resilience because at the end of the day, you know what, it is hard. And if no one said it was gonna be easy, and you're gonna have to put the effort, and it doesn't matter how long I train or how many salads I eat, it's just not going to impact anybody. It's only gonna, you know, benefit me or not, right? So, really, at the end of the day is making people realize that they have the power within themselves. They need to believe in themselves before anything because they're the ones that are going to have to do the hard work. They're the ones that are going to have to eat whatever they want to eat, you know. I'm not necessarily, you know, pro or against any type of diet or any sort of type of eating, but it's just really realizing and creating that self awareness. You know, if you eat something that you then feel bloated, well have that self awareness of saying, you know what, last time I ate whatever, this pizza, it just didn't go down well. Maybe I shouldn't eat fat or I should eat less of that. And that happens to me, I have to say, last night, I had something that didn't sit very well. And funnily enough, it's actually a salad. But I've come to realize that a lot of dry fruits are not good for me. I just simply don't digest them well, and you know, and you would say, well, dried fruit that's nutrition is and that's healthy. Yeah, but if it doesn't sit well with me, you know, it doesn't matter. I just have that self awareness of, I'd rather not eat that or if I'm gonna eat it like a Sultana, I need to chew it and chew it and chew it and chew it, really break it down before I digest it because I don't actually digested that - that well.

Magic Barclay : 25:01

Just a reminder to the listeners that weight loss isn't just about eating or exercising. It's also about how the systems of your body work. So the team at Wholistic Natural Health Australia can help you with that. But part of your growth mindset in relation to weight loss is reaching out for help. And that would be the same with exercise, reaching out to get a trainer. The same with eating, is not listening to everything that the media tells you about food, but actually doing your own research. The growth mindset behind all of these things is you taking responsibility for yourself. Wouldn't you say, Patty?

Patty Duque : 25:38

Oh, absolutely. Responsibility and just giving it a go. You know, and, and be aware that everybody makes mistakes. So definitely reach out for people that can help you because they will save you years and years of pain, because that's what tends to happen. Everybody tries all these yo yo diets and then they give up and it's like, well, I tried everything but nothing works. Well. You know, like, if you have a toothache, would you go to a dentist? Yeah. So why if, you know, if we're struggling with our weight, why don't we talk to someone that specializes in that? It was struggling with our thoughts. Why don't we talk to someone that specializes in that. So I fully fully agree you need to get the support that you need, basically, so you can get results a lot quicker.

Magic Barclay : 26:31

Agreed. Now Patty, I would love to have you back on at some stage because I know we can talk forever on mindset. But for now, let's tell the listeners where they can find you. So you're on Instagram and Facebook at Patty Duque dot biz. That's PATTYDU qu e dot biz. You're also on LinkedIn at Patricia Duque and you have a couple of Facebook groups. So let people send you a message and get those so they have the proper group tags. And you're also found on YouTube.

Patty Duque : 27:10

Absolutely, absolutely. I would actually encourage them. If anybody's interested, please do reach out. If you are interested. Actually, one of the groups that I did create a few months ago when COVID hit is elevate your mindset with Patti Duque, you can find it in Facebook. And that's probably where they will find a lot of resources that can help them there, I have done to date to this date about 57 lives, live videos, sharing tools, strategies, anecdotes, and all sorts of topics like mindset habits, values, obviously, neuroscience, neuroplasticity, all sorts of topics are covered there that can just really help you. Move forward in really creating the life that you harnessing your happiness in the way that you want and elevating your mindset the way that you want to do it. So I fully encourage you to do that. And I'd be lovely to connect with anybody that that would like that. Thank you for the opportunity, Magic.

Magic Barclay : 28:17

My pleasure. Now we do love freebies here and your freebie that you can offer the listeners is a PDF copy of your chapter called "Harnessing your happiness" and that's been the best selling book series of elevate your mindset. So everyone if you contact Patty and just mention A Magical Life podcast, Patty will send you that PDF. I have the book I have read the chapter. It's absolutely brilliant. So I highly recommend this freebie. And again, thank you, Patty for your time today.

Patty Duque : 28:47

Not a problem. Thank you Magic for having me. Thank you for this opportunity. I loved talking to you and exploring all things in your magical life. I love it. Thanks for all the work that you do as well. I think it's so, so valuable. It can really, really help so many people out there because especially in weight loss, I think there's just more confusion than anything. So I love that you're providing some clarity in that space, which would ultimately reduce frustrations and allow people to really get results.

Magic Barclay : 29:20

Thank you very much Patty. Now that is Episode 20. Episode 21 coming up, you have me talking about the happiness code. So following on from what we've been talking about today, the happiness code is a listener question that has been provided to us on the a magical life podcast Facebook page, so definitely pop over there and send us a message on anything you'd like us to explore and discuss. Episode 21. Coming up is the happiness code but for today, go forth and create your magical life. Thanks for listening today. Please subscribe. To hear future episodes, leave a review and share this podcast. You can follow us on Facebook at a magical life podcast or at Wholistic Natural Health Australia that's holistic with a W. You can find us on Instagram, at Wholistic Natural Health or at www dot Wholistic Natural health.com.au. That's where you'll access all sorts of articles, freebies, and more.