Vasilios Birlidis Presents: Dr. Sebastian Brackenridge- The Gayest Man in the United Kingdom

Vasilios Birlidis presents: Dr. Sebastian Brackenridge, The Gay Pride Podcast Episode

June 11, 2020 Vasilios C. Birlidis Season 1 Episode 3
Vasilios Birlidis Presents: Dr. Sebastian Brackenridge- The Gayest Man in the United Kingdom
Vasilios Birlidis presents: Dr. Sebastian Brackenridge, The Gay Pride Podcast Episode
Show Notes Transcript

Happy Gay Pride, Chickens. I'm back with yet another delicious episode of Exploring Olympus. In celebration of Gay Pride Month, I've decided to change things up a bit and focus this podcast on what my coming out to my parents, William, the Duke and Duchess of Brackenridge. Except this time it won't be my take on the somewhat dramatic moment, but will be told from the standpoint of someone very dear to me, my mother, the now Dowager Duchess of Brackenbridge. I won't tell you have blackmail I had to use to convince her to speak! So enjoy, dear chickens and always remember, All you need is love, Love is Love and Love Wins. As my family crest now reads: Natus Hoc Modo, latin for Born this way. oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Sebastian

Host: Dr. Sebastian Brackenridge

You’re listening to the DBN, Demigod Broadcasting Network and this is Exploring Olympus. Good afternoon and hello chickens. My name is Dr. Sebastian Brackenridge and I will be your host for this very special gay pride episode of our show. We are broadcasting from the well-appointed Library of my ancestral home, Brackenridge Hall, in front of a live audience of 3 as we safely social distance.   I bet you are just scratching your heads wondering what is going on. What is the thunderous applause? Where is the usual announcer?  Where is the judgmental nun? well, let me first put your mind at east, Sister Winnie is doing just fine…. And enjoying a good long rest after having to deal with, and I quote, “that Man!” So I am sure she is somewhere, clacking her rosaries, smoking her Lucky Strikes Unfiltered cigarettes and kicking children as they walk by. Dear Winnie….

Oh, and before I forget, Happy PRIDE, Everyone!!!  Yes, chickens, it’s that time of year when everything seems brighter and your dear old Brackenridge throws off his mild manner persona and really lets his hair down. HA! And if you can, dear chickens, stop by my new website and listen to my other lectures on Gorgons and Persephone and Hades. The website address will be provided in this podcast’s description. 

Because this is Gay Pride month during the horrible Coronavirus pandemic, I thought we would shake things up a bit as we do a bit of social distancing.  So I have invited someone that is rather close to my heart to speak about equality and acceptance, my mother, the Dowager Duchess of Brackenridge. I think you will find her story of accepting and supporting her son, the delicious me, rather interesting. So without further delay, my mother, Ophelia Brackenridge. 

 

The Dowager Duchess of Brackenridge

When my dear son Sebastian asked me to contribute my thoughts of him and his journey towards equality and acceptance, for the inaugural launch of his website, I immediately pulled out my checkbook and asked "how much?" hoping against hope that the sight of a check made out to cash would get one out of the assignment. As Sebastian will tell you I am rather a private person and definitely not one to express my personal thoughts to others outside of my small group of confidantes, friends and various family members. Additionally, having listened to and enjoyed many of Sebastian’s lectures, I knew I would not be able to offer the flourish and comedic timing that his audiences have come to expect. 

I could tell this ask was very different because for the first time in his life my son said no to financial assistance and I will be the first to admit that I was rather perplexed. He reminded me that June was Gay Pride month and he felt it would be smashing for me to .....express one's feelings about what it means to be the mother of the flamboyant Dr. Sebastian Brackenridge. I soon became aware how important this mandatory assignment was to Sebastian, as my son had that particularly childish look in his eyes that said, "Mummy, do it or I shall soil myself."

Considering his Nanny had retired decades ago, poor Nanny Veronica had been driven to drink looking after little Sebastian and wouldn't be available for the necessary clean-up, I took up pen and paper, in my well-appointed library, and decided my contribution would be a story that I know Sebastian won't mind me sharing. This isn't just Sebastian's story as I am sure many of the LGBTQ+ have faced and experienced the anxiety associated with telling one's family what their truth is. So, this story is for you.

​There are some in this world who might judge my son as being a person that one can only take in short intervals as he can be somewhat an acquired taste for them. Allow me to state, without hesitation, it is clearly their loss. You see, from the first moment Sebastian twirled his way into my world, I was hopelessly in love with my son. Granted, this is a somewhat standard statement for most mothers, however, I could see he had such incredible potential and I couldn't wait to witness who my son would become. 

Like all parents, his father, William, the late Duke of Brackenridge, and I pictured in our minds a certain life for our son, for him to marry a woman that he loved, to have many children and to take over the family estate along with the vast holdings in the Brackenridge Trust. We even entertained the hope that Sebastian would eventually take over his father's seat in the House of Lords and continue a tradition that has lasted for hundreds of years. However, we quickly learned during his 16th year, Sebastian had other plans

It was Sebastian's 16th birthday and per tradition, Sebastian was always sent for from Eaton College to spend the weekend with the family. Sebastian arrived for dinner wearing the Brackenridge Cupid's Bow Tiara, along with various other statement pieces which I believed to be a bit much for an early family dinner consisting of take-out Chinese food from the Happy Endings restaurant located in the next village over. Surely the Art Deco emerald bracelet, gifted by George VI to my mother on her wedding day should have sufficed. Perhaps even a single strand of my mother’s South Sea pearls, partnered with the ruby Lovers’ knot brooch, given to me by Princess Alice of Greece, as a gift for Sebastian’s birth.  But I digress.

​With a voice so full of emotion and frustration, it makes my heart break to remember it, Sebastian announced, "Mother, Father, I'm... you see... it would appear that..." He couldn't get it out. He was clearly terrified of how we would react to his news and both his father and I were in shock. We were not in shock because our son had selected diamonds to wear at 5 p.m. when it is clearly considered somewhat gauche to do so before 6 pm, nor were we shocked about what our son was about to proclaim. (Keeping in mind of course we knew what he was about to say. I’ve known since Sebastian was 7 that he was gay and many, many conversations had taken place between William and I about this very topic.) We were in shock that our darling boy would even entertain a single negative thought regarding our reaction to his announcement. 

With tears welling in all of our eyes, William placed his fork full of Singapore Noodles down, stood up and finished the statement for Sebastian. "you are a homosexual, Sebastian."

​"Yes, Father, I am Gay," and he hung his head in shame and wept.

My late husband had never been one for emotional outbursts. His Father, George, the former Duke of Brackenridge, was a cold and distant man, who was especially cruel to William. You see, as William was the heir apparent, George did what his father did, and what his father’s father did, drilled duty and responsibility into William's impressionable mind before he was even out of rompers. I remember the first time I had the unique pleasure of meeting William's father. George’s no-nonsense, abrupt and rather rude attitude was clearly demonstrated when he politely asked me during the cocktail hour if I was still intact, i.e. was I still a virgin. William had warned me of his father's eccentricities and with a slight pause I smiled at the Duke and said, "Your Grace, I tend to wait until the soup course before discussing my...status on this topic." I was surprised by the Duke’s reaction as he burst out in uproarious laughter, proclaiming that I had...moxie of all things. It wasn't this rather rude and disgusting question from my future father-in-law that concerned me. The older gentry believed age and survival of many wars gave them leave to say and do whatever they like. 

I have encountered and dismissed worse men than the Duke. It was the moment I saw the panic and dread in my dear William's eye as he saw his father work his way towards him and the way he physically flinched at the touch of his father, as his father put his arm around his son's shoulder. That might have been the moment I truly fell in love with Sebastian's father, seeing all 195 + centimeters of the burly giant I would soon begin to call, Wills, cower from the father whose cruelty had left tremendous scars that some, but not all, would heal.

​But seeing his son weep as he himself had done so many times over was too much for my William, and all of those pent-up emotions came flooding out of him. He embraced his son, holding him tightly, offering words of love and comfort and when Sebastian had quieted, William stated, while kissing Sebastian on the top of his head, "Dear boy... my dear, dear, boy... I've known you were gay since you were 5, twirling around the castle's ballroom, wearing one of my shirts that you proclaimed was your princess dress. You would always beg me to be your prince and to dance with you, and I would always come up with some sort of excuse because… I was a coward, not wanting to understand or deal with the implications of how hard your life would be because of who you were. 

There were moments during your childhood and adolescence that you would throw yourself into my arms or show me your latest art project, which I dismissed or would react by calling out to your Nanny to take control of the situation. It is no excuse to say it was how I was raised, nor should you find any sort of comfort knowing in my office is a two-sided bookcase that holds each and every art project you ever made me.... and trust me, my son, there were a lot of them and not all of them were Picasso(s). (Sebastian laughed at that.) 

But understand this, I am so incredibly proud of the man you have become, including the diamond tiaras, bracelets, sneaking into your mother's dressing room to grab one of her Russian Sable coats so that you could descend the grand staircase in style, much to the horror of your Aunt Titania, whom I personally have never liked, and also your dramatic shirt ball gowns. I only wished I had one third of your bravery, for unabashedly staying true to whom you are and how you were able to be strong enough to tell anyone who demanded differently from you to..."bugger off". I am so very sorry. How I wish I could go back and lift up my son, so that I could be that prince who would waltz you around the ballroom. 

​And typical Sebastian, he started to laugh and said, "Well, we could have a go of it now." 

To which his father replied, now laughing with that infectious booming laugh, "I'd much rather get back to my Singapore Noodles." 

How I wish every parent could have the unconditional love, and yes, bravery to accept their children for who they are. I do not attempt to paint an idyllic picture, as I admit to the struggle associated with adjusting one’s dreams for their child, the denials made when certain small minded family members and friends spread Sebastian’s truth like it was a tasty gossip scone to be enjoyed over coffee. I finally overcame with the help of a member of the Royal Family, of whom I will not name, but only say they have been a LGBTQ+ supporter for a very long time. We have been friends since our days at Benenden School. It was during an outdoor lunch at Balmoral, our family were invited to stay for the season, and I was seated next to the royal person in question. I believe Sebastian was around 12 at the time and was chatting animatedly about why he thought the Brackenridge Tartan should incorporate a thin line of hot pink to, as he put it, “spice things up a bit.” This made my companion laugh and in reaction to it, I blushed in embarrassment. Seeing my reaction and realizing how hurt I was, she placed her hand over mine and said: 

“Oh, Lea. No. I love your son as he were my own. I laugh because Sebastian is so full of life and love, and utterly delightful that I can’t help myself. He is his own person and you have raised an incredible boy. A boy, whom I am sure, will bring you great comfort even during the worst of times. He will conquer the world one day, of that I am sure, and pride and love should be the only feelings triggered by Sebastian being who he is… that and also laughter. I love him just as I love you. Just the way you are.” How can I describe what those words meant to me? A weight was lifted off my heart and from that moment on I never hesitated in letting my dear boy know what he meant to me…. In a somewhat cold and distant English manner, of course. 

The years that followed Sebastian’s coming out were a blur of Sebastian’s University years, of discoveries of previously unknown Saxony this and that, and before you can ask it, I have forbidden Sebastian to go digging around the Brackenridge estate for I know of one or perhaps several locations where our family’s eccentricities are buried including a Brackenridge ancestor who liked to collect the toenail clippings of the Heads of the various royal families of their time. No, Sebastian, I won’t tell you who! Brackenridge Hall is haunted, of course, and that’s the way we like it. It also was a time of great change, where I have witnessed first-hand HRH Queen Elizabeth II come out publicly in support of LGBTQ+ rights and also when I have never been prouder of my country as the citizens of this and the other kingdom’s of Britain and Northern Ireland VOTE in support of Marriage Equality! It was also a blur of watching my husband and his son breaking the ties the bound them from a more meaningful father/son relationship, as the unconditional love and radical inclusion flowed freely in our family. Things didn’t always go smoothly, as you can imagine both men are incredibly opinionated and extremely stubborn, but in the end, love won the day. Even my judgmental sister, Titania, has changed her views and opened her heart to Sebastian's message.

In 2010, a first was achieved when William, the Duke of Brackenridge and I marched with our son during the year’s Gay Pride Celebration. The act of bravery, which we considered the act neither brave nor worth reporting about, was reported in the papers, some for the good, others for the not-so-good.  It was ten years after that day that we lost my husband to cancer, but I find comfort in knowing those 10 years were happy ones and both Sebastian held William’s hand as he began the next portion of his journey to the heavenly Father. 

​From his coming out moment on, my Sebastian has taken the world by storm, with his unique world view, bringing humor and accessible insights to our nation and now the world.  I am so very proud of him. So I invite each of you to open your hearts to not only my son, but also to the LGBTQ+ youth of the world and embrace them with love and kindness. For as my son says, All you need is Love, Love is love and Love wins.

Before the Duke passed away, my dear husband had the Brackenridge crest changed dramatically, incorporating not only the Union Jack, but also the gay pride flag, as an exercise of acceptance and love for our Sebastian and all of the LGBTQ+ youth of the world. The winged Unicorn was Sebastian's idea, as he believed we should add a huge dash of whimsy the crest. I, of course, was thrilled he hadn't selected Tinkerbell, which I would have had to put my foot down. I never cared for Peter Pan. The family creed now reads "Natus Hoc Modo" which is Latin for "Born this way." (Note: He still took the check.)

​End.​