Pray For Your Enemies

In this episode, Erika-Michelle Best breaks down one of the hardest, yet powerful commands in scripture: praying for our enemies. Why is it so difficult to forgive and bless those who hurt us? What does it truly mean to surrender our anger to God? Through biblical wisdom and real talk, EMB explores how obedience to this command leads to healing, freedom, and a deeper connection with Christ.

Join the conversation as we unpack Matthew 5:44, Romans 12:19, 1 Peter 3:9, and more—reminding us that praying for our enemies isn’t about excusing their actions but about freeing our hearts and trusting God’s justice. Are you ready to take the first step?

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Challenge of Praying for Our Enemies
• 2:26 Obedience and the Example of Jesus
• 4:56 Healing Through Prayer
• 7:57 The Path to Freedom
• 10:59 Reflecting God's Character
• 14:02 The Journey of Forgiveness
• 16:34 Practical Steps to Pray for Enemies
• 19:07 The Power of Prayer for Transformation

Transcript

Erika-Michelle Best (00:00)
What up, what up, what up, it's your girl EMB coming at you guys with one of the hardest but also very powerful commands in scripture, praying for our enemies. Praying for your enemies is both an act of obedience and a pathway to healing, freedom, and really overall just a deeper relationship with God. So we're gonna break this down and talk about

the human emotion behind it. Why is it so difficult and hard? Because really quite truthfully, is one of the most difficult things to do. When someone has transgressed against you or wronged you or smited you in some way, disrespected you in some way. Like human nature, we want to lash out, we want to react, we want to get back, we want vengeance, we want justice, right? But the Bible commands us to do something completely different.

something that goes completely against that human nature

when situations arise and something happens and especially if it's something against one of your children, right? I think even more so it's more difficult for us to follow what the Scripture commands us to do when it's against our children even more so than when it's against us. We can kind of move through and get past things that happen to us, but man, something goes down with one of our children's, we're ready to...

We're ready to sever all ties, right?

So let's talk about how praying for our enemies is an act of obedience. Jesus commanded us. Now, when we see Jesus commands us, that means this is red letter in the Bible. When you see red letter in the Bible, these are Jesus's actual words. And Jesus commands us in Matthew chapter 5, verse 44, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Jesus is the perfect example of this.

Because while Jesus was being beaten and spit on and disrespected and embarrassed and crucified, which was the most excruciating pain any human could endure.

His words were, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. So even in the face of persecution, Jesus is commanding us to love our enemies. It's not optional. It's a direct instruction from him. When we obey, we align our hearts with his will, demonstrating that we trust him more than our emotions or personal justice. Now ask yourself today, do you trust him?

with your emotions and your personal justice? Is your personal justice more important to you than what Jesus commands you to do? That's a question we should all be asking ourselves and on the daily, especially when situations arise and happen where we have to extend ourselves to forgiving those who have.

transgressed against us and praying for those not only forgiving them but praying for them and I don't mean pray for awful things to happen to them because some of y'all might be out there going I pray for my enemies all right I pray for their tires to go flatten for them to lose their job no we're not we're not we're not talking those kind of prayers today you guys Romans 12 19 reminds us do not take revenge my dear friends

but leave room for God's wrath. Sometimes your salvation is knowing that the Lord will handle. The Lord will handle the justice. Praying for our enemies is an act of surrender, choosing to let God handle the justice instead of seeking our own. Our own personal justice is temporary, you guys. It's temporary. But how you handle that situation,

impacts your eternity.

1 Peter 3, 9, don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. Now that's not easy. The Bible is saying that when someone insults you or commits some evil act, that we are not to pay them back with

with more insults, we're not to retaliate against them, we're not to repay that evil for evil, we are instead to pay them back with a blessing. So not only we called to pray for our enemies, we are called to bless them. That is what God has called us to do and he will grant us his blessing is the rest of that scripture. So again, 1 Peter 3, 9, don't repay evil for evil.

Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. And his blessing is far greater than anything on this earth. I know we don't realize that, and we don't understand that. We're so worldly and we're so earthly that we think what is here on this earth is the most wonderful thing in our life here on earth is

is the number one thing that we should be seeking and looking for, but God's blessing, God's blessing is the number one thing that we should be seeking and living for. Not all the worldly materialistic possessions, okay? Now, that's how praying for our enemies is an act of obedience. Praying for our enemies is a pathway to healing. It leads to healing, holding on to anger and resentment.

can be toxic to us. It's that old saying, holding onto anger and frustration, y'all, it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Refusing to forgive someone is exactly like that. It's like drinking poison and expecting the other people to die. And it's very difficult to realize that, but not only does not forgiving and holding onto anger and resentment, not only is it

toxic to our spiritual nature, it's toxic to our physical nature, it is toxic to our hearts. Holding on to all of that has a physical reaction in our bodies. And that comes through a stress, that comes through as anxiety, anguish, resentment, depression, frustration, and all of that impacts your health as well.

Praying for those who have wronged us, however, shifts our focus from pain to God's power to heal. Now, if you're trusting Him with your emotions and personal justice, we are also to trust Him with our healing. As we pray, God softens our hearts, bringing peace where there was once bitterness.

Now I know there's just some times we want to be upset. there are, there are just some times I just want to be mad. I don't want to be all evolved and adulting. And sometimes I just want to be mad and I just want to have the right to be mad. And I'm sure some other people can relate to that. I'm sure I'm not the only one. But again, when we allow ourselves to surrender that frustration and that anger and that unforgiveness,

We are shifting our focus from pain to God healing us, to God healing that thing that even that person's apology might not heal. As we pray, he softens our heart, bringing peace where there was once bitterness. There's nothing more beautiful than the peace granted to us through the Holy Spirit. It is a peace that passes all understanding is how the Bible says it.

Over time, we find ourselves less burdened by the offense and more open to God's restoration. And that's what we're looking for. That's the healing right there. That's what we're seeking. Nobody wants to hold onto resentment the rest of their life. And should you choose to do that, it's damaging. And if you don't want to live a life that's damaging to you, your health, your mental status, your emotional state, and your spiritual being, you want to move to God's restoration.

allow Him to restore you. This is what praying for our enemies leads to. It leads to that healing and for God to restore that brokenness that's in our heart, for Him to restore that pain and that hurt and that anger that we have when someone wrongs us.

And if it brings us to restoration, it also brings freedom. For where God restores, there is freedom. Unforgiveness is a form of bondage. Like I said earlier, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It keeps us tied to the hurt and to the offender. It allows that offender to hold a power over you. It allows that offender to

keep you shackled and chained. When we pray for our enemies, we release the burden of resentment and allow God to work in our hearts. This brings spiritual freedom because we're no longer controlled by bitterness, but by the love of Jesus Christ. I don't want to be controlled by bitterness. I don't want to be controlled by anger and hate and animosity and

all these negative emotions. These emotions are very humanistic. You're not wrong for feeling these emotions. We are not to be condemned for feeling anger and frustration and even hate sometimes, because some people have dealt with some really rough things in life that can make you just hate humanity sometimes.

Those are very humanistic emotions. But when we pray for our enemies, we allow ourselves to not be controlled by those humanistic emotions. We allow the love of Jesus Christ to move in and to override all of that. Ephesians 4.31 through 32. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger.

harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Verse 32 goes on to say, instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. And that's the New Living Translation. This is what we are to seek out and live. This saves us. This protects us. This frees us. This heals us.

And this also allows us to obey Jesus's command, which has you more in alignment with God's will for your life than holding on to all of that negativity. When we do this, it deepens our relationship with God. When we pray for our enemies, we reflect God's character, not our character, because our character can be flawed God's character is pure perfection.

So when we pray for our enemies, we are reflecting God's character. He shows mercy even to those who rebel against him. Romans 5, 8 tells us. This kind of prayer stretches our faith, making us more dependent on God's strength rather than our own. There's a proverb that talks about leaning out on our own understanding, right? This is allowing us to depend on God's strength rather than our own. Y'all, our strength is

finite. We can only be so strong on our own. It is only through the strength of God that we are able to carry on and even make it through some of life's circumstances that we find ourselves in. It is not of our own strength that make it through. Just like Philippians says, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Our strength is finite. It is limited, in other words.

God's strength is infinite. And when we rely and depend on His strength, we find our spirit man stronger. We find ourselves growing in our obedience, growing in that healing, growing in that freedom. We experience more of His presence and understand His love in a deeper way. Because we are all God's children, even the ones who are doing some of the most atrocious things across

our world. We are all God's children. Luke 635 tells us to love your enemies, do good to them, lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great and you will truly be acting as children of the most high. For he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. And y'all, let me tell you something.

It is hard to think to yourself that God is kind to some of the evil people of the world, to some of the hateful people of the world, to some of the people who have done, again, some of the most atrocious things. It is difficult because we are man. And again, we have limitations. Our love for one another is often conditional. Jesus

sacrificed himself for all of mankind. Not just the saints, not just the Pharisees, not just the religious people, not just the perfect people, but for all people. So even the most wicked has an opportunity to repent, accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior, be baptized in the name of Jesus, and be saved.

You hear story and testimony after testimony after testimony. You see where people have been redeemed even from jail. there are opportunities and situations where people do find God and they are redeemed. Now, does that change what they did? No. Does that change the hurt that that caused? No. God, however, can heal that. And really to be truthful with you, when we're praying for our enemies, that's what you want to pray for.

You want to pray for that person to have a complete and utter change of heart, for the Lord to step into their heart, for them to have an encounter with Jesus Christ so that they can be changed internally, so that their spirit can come to know the Lord and that's who they choose to live for moving forward. Praying for your enemies isn't about excusing their actions. It's about freeing your heart and trusting God. It's a journey. It's a journey, y'all.

And it is oftentimes a very difficult one. You may be the type of person where this doesn't happen overnight for you and that's okay. You may be the type of person where you get this message and you're like, you know what, you're right. I'm tired of being bound and held to this person. I'm ready to let go and be free. You may be at that stage. It is a journey and we all start somewhere. The question you got to ask yourself is, you willing to take that step? Now, how do we actually pray for our enemies? Right?

It's easier said than done, that old saying, right? Easier said than done. But how do we apply this? How do we actually position ourselves to be ready to let this go, give this up, and begin praying for our enemies? First of all, surrender your anger and hurt and resentment and choose to pray instead.

It isn't easy to do, but it is possible through God's grace. And here's how we can work towards that obedience and healing and freedom. Okay?

First, let's acknowledge the pain, honestly, before God. God can't heal the fake you. God needs the real you before him. So before we can truly surrender, we must be honest with God about how we feel. He invites us to bring our burdens to him. You see that in Psalm 55 verse 22. Instead of suppressing anger and pretending it doesn't hurt, we can pray something like, Lord, I am struggling with this hurt. I feel angry, betrayed.

frustrated, but I don't want to carry this burden alone. Help me to release it to you. Ask God to help you release the burden, to release the anger, to release the frustration. Before you even get to praying for your enemy, ask him to help you release it to him.

Naming the offense and the emotions it brings allows us to process it with God rather than staying trapped in resentment. Now you can call your friend on the phone, you can go talk to your spouse, you can go gossip about it, but that's gonna keep you trapped in your resentment. You're gonna call somebody on the phone, girl, guess what happened? Man, guess what went down? And they're gonna be like, my God, how dare they? wouldn't even, better you than me. If it were me, I would do X, Y, Z.

Right? All that does is keep you trapped in the resentment. But when you name that offense and give it to God, see, God's not going let you stay there. And again, if you're not ready to move through this, you may to pray that prayer that we just discussed a minute ago. You may need to pray that a couple of times, because if you're wanting to stay trapped in your resentment, you're not going to take it to God, because God will not let you stay there.

Now, once you're ready to move past the resentment and give it to God, and you've prayed for God to free you from this burden and to help release it to him, now choose to surrender over justification. Choose to let it go. And I don't mean let it go in the sense of like, just forget it ever happened. But I mean, surrender it to the Lord. Holding onto anger often feels like self-protection. But in reality, it keeps us in bondage.

Surrendering doesn't mean what happened was okay. It just means you're trusting God to handle the justice. And however he sees fit, you have to trust him all the way through. If he sees redemption as the justice, you gotta trust God with that redemption of that person. A practical step is praying something like, God, I release my desire for revenge, justice on my own terms, or for them to

Get what they deserve. I trust you to deal with them in your way and in your time. Help me to leave it in your hands. Again, this does not happen overnight, but daily surrender softens our heart over time. You may have to pray this multiple times, multiple times a day, every day, every week, every month, it may take time.

Some of the things that y'all are dealing with out in this world are tough, man. They are tough and it's going to be difficult to let go of. So sometimes you may have to pray this often. I release my desires for revenge and justice on my terms or for them to get what they deserve, Lord. I trust you to deal with them in your way and in your time. Help me to leave it in your hands and cast those cares. Cast those cares and let them have it.

Ask God to change your heart. See, sometimes praying for other people, we've got to pray for the Lord to change us first. Change always starts with us. Our natural instinct is to resist praying for someone who has wronged us. But when we ask God for help, He transforms us all. So start small, even if your prayer is reluctant. Lord, I don't feel like praying for them, but I'm choosing to obey you. Change my heart and help me to want what you want for them.

As we continue to pray, even when we don't feel like it, our hearts shift. The Holy Spirit works in us, replacing bitterness with, you guessed it, peace. A peace that passes all understanding. Also, pray for their salvation, like I was saying earlier. One of the most powerful ways to pray is to ask God to work in their lives. Instead of praying for them to be punished, pray for their hearts to be changed.

some things you can pray for. Pray that they would experience conviction and repentance. Pray that they would know God's love and be transformed by it. Pray that they would seek reconciliation if possible. Pray that God's will be done in their lives. Even if they never change, praying for them changes us. And y'all repeat this as often as you need to. Forgiveness and praying for our enemies isn't a one-time event. It's a process.

When old feelings of anger or hurt rise up, don't be discouraged. Sometimes things trigger us. It's okay. Go back to prayer. Keep surrendering. Jesus told Peter to forgive 70 times seven in Matthew 18 verse 22, which means we must continually release our bitterness and choose to walk in freedom. The result of all that?

That's that healing and that freedom and that peace that we talked about. As we obey Christ in this difficult command, we find that we are the ones set free. Our hearts become lighter. Our relationship with God gets better and deepens. And we experience the peace that only he can give. It's not easy. It is not easy. I am not trying to delude myself.

nor you guys and say that, it's easy. I'm just going to say this prayer one time and boom, it's going to be gone. For some of you, it may work that way, but for most of us, it's not, it's not going to happen like that. It is a constant daily work. It is a constant daily work and you have to be willing. You have to be willing to surrender it. You have to be willing to ask Lord to step into the situation. And if you're not ready for that,

Go back to that original prayer, ask Lord for the help to allow you to release it to him. It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be absolutely 100 % worth it. And the freedom that you will walk in, it will be tangible. It will be palpable. People will be able to see it. And that my friends is what we are to do. Because when people can see you heal and your testimony come out of that, people see.

Jesus at work and that draws them closer to him and that is how we are to operate Heavenly father I come before you today with a heart that is heavy You see the hurt the betrayal the frustration and the pain I carry because of those who have wronged me But lord, I don't want to hold on to bitterness. I want to walk in obedience and freedom So I surrender the situation in these people to you bless those who curse you pray for those who mistreat you

As Luke 6 28 tells us, God, admit that blessing those who have hurt me is not easy. My flesh wants to hold on to resentment, but I choose to obey your word. Help me by your spirit to pray with sincerity. Fill my heart with your grace so that I can reflect your love even in difficult situations. Romans 12 17 says, do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.

Lord, I let go of my desire for revenge or to see them suffer as I have suffered. I trust you as the righteous judge. I choose to do what is right, not according to my emotions, but according to your truth. Help me to respond with kindness, wisdom, and self-control. Luke 23, 34, Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing.

Jesus said this as he was on the cross, you set the ultimate example, of forgiveness. Even as you suffered on the cross, Give me a heart like yours, one that is willing to forgive even when it feels undeserved. Help me to see my enemies through your eyes, Lord, as people in need of your grace just as I am.

Lord, I pray for those who have hurt me. I ask that you work in their hearts, convicting them of any wrongdoing and leading them to repentance. May they come to know your love and be transformed by your mercy. If reconciliation is possible and in your will, open the doors for peace, Father, I release my burdens to you. I don't want to be weighed down by anger or pain. Instead, I choose the freedom that comes from trusting you completely.

Fill me with your peace and heal the wounds in my heart. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer. Strengthen me to walk in love, to reflect your character, and to remain faithful to your word. I trust that as I release this to you, you will work all things for good. In Jesus' name, amen.