Navigate Podcast
Welcome to Navigate, we are two long term friends doing life and ministry together. I got tired of the same ole answers when I started looking for help when it came to my walk with God. So together we go deeper than most would on topics that most people have heard or were taught but never fully understood. It is our way of simplifying concepts that we may have over complicated throughout our lives. Bringing theology and life experience into each episode. It is our hope and desire to help Navigate your Christian walk with you
Navigate Podcast
Reclaiming Biblical Roles In Dating
tjbhpodcast@gmail.com
Modern dating culture has created a mess where men increasingly avoid commitment, women struggle to find suitable partners, and both sexes experience profound confusion about their roles. This reality-check episode dives deep into why so many Christians remain single despite genuinely desiring marriage.
For Christian men seeking godly relationships, we provide practical guidance: establish financial responsibility, demonstrate church leadership, maintain physical fitness, and recruit a "wingman" (a married Christian friend) to help facilitate social interactions. We challenge men to find security in their identity in Christ before pursuing relationships, as women aren't looking for projects but partners.
Ready to transform your approach to dating with biblical wisdom? Listen now and discover how to navigate relationships with confidence, clarity and Christ-centered purpose. Then share your questions by texting us through the link in our description - we might answer them in a future episode!
Welcome to Navigate everybody. Yes, If you are single and ready to mingle, you are in the right place.
Speaker 2:I'm your host Tim.
Speaker 1:Oh man Got my co-host Justin. What's up, buddy?
Speaker 2:We just reached a whole other group of people Keep going with the train.
Speaker 1:Right now I'm on a roll Tell them Single, ready to mingle.
Speaker 2:Listen to.
Speaker 1:And we have our singles expert with us. Mr Bo, oh my gosh man, that's a Setting the stage for you.
Speaker 3:Really.
Speaker 2:That's a tough spot to land on, that's a, that's I.
Speaker 3:Better bring the heat today, yeah.
Speaker 2:You better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bo's been with us on a few of the dating ones we've done, so we brought him back, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know why, but we did. I'm kidding.
Speaker 2:So it was years ago that we were, um, you were single and we were working on figuring out, uh, kind of working through like dating and what that looked like, and then you got married, I think. Uh, six months after you got married, we did another podcast kind of on like okay, here's what happened, here's where we're at, and the world around us is kind of a mess. When it comes to this particular topic, men seem to be pretty incompetent in some areas where they could use some help and uh, I think the, the, the landscape has changed dramatically in a way that has not benefited women at all, and uh, I think it's at least worth talking through some more aspects of the landscape has changed in some ways, but I'm under the impression, guys, these days just like being single more.
Speaker 2:Man, it's safer. Yeah, it's safer. I think you know the reality. The statistics are pretty crazy that something like you have a 65% chance you know, if you're an average dude of ending up in divorce. And if you end up in divorce, there's no benefit to you as a man in that process. Basically, you're just going to lose half your paycheck, whatever it is, through alimony to whoever it is that you decided to marry. And so a lot of guys are like well, I don't have to get married to have sex. There's a lot of easier pathways to make this happen. I can use women instead of them using me, and I can avoid the commitment without putting myself in a place where I'm going to cannonball the rest of my life. Because I think a lot of guys have seen how it goes when you go through a divorce, what you walk through and how bad it can go for that person. It can destroy everything. They built up to a particular amount of time for what you know a five or six year fling that ended in heartache.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, but for a godly guy who may has been single for years and was like I want a wife, what's some like advice things to do, something that he could read Like what is some good proactive things that they could do?
Speaker 3:Man, I tell you what I think. It's interesting because you're talking about it being comfortable and truly outside of the church. It's like Russian roulette right. It's like playing duck duck damn.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man.
Speaker 3:Because I mean, what established marriage and what is it that says marriage is the most important relationship besides the one you have with God? Yeah, it's. God, and so that's ultimately. I mean, if you're going to be looking for that, it has to be within the church in order to shed that mentality of playing Russian roulette Totally.
Speaker 2:And I would also say there's an element where I have found that men who struggle to find a solid wife oftentimes are people who struggle in their own identity and having a certainty in who they are, and then attach this idea of security actually to the women that they're hoping to date, as opposed to finding security in their own relationship with Jesus and who they are.
Speaker 1:So you think you're saying marriage solves that problem.
Speaker 2:No, I'm saying there's a lot of young men who aren't sure about who they are and they're trying to find that stability in a woman.
Speaker 2:And it's actually one of the most off-putting things to a woman, because at least a solid woman that you want to be with, because they're not looking for a child, they're looking for a husband, and if you find a girl that is interested in having a child instead of a husband, that's not going to go well either.
Speaker 2:You might be a match, but you're a match made in hell, not the way God intended. So to Beau's point, like okay, well, how are you with God? How are you at being a man? Do you know what it even means to be a man before you're thinking about how to get into a relationship with somebody of the opposite sex and this is why we have this term now simping right, like this idea that I will become whatever, I'll do, whatever I'll be, whatever, as long as I get her attention and I you know it's interesting and we we didn't even discuss this in a little bit of the lead up, but it's like, um, the whole uh, birth control thing right Dude, is this almost drives women towards more feminine men right and then.
Speaker 3:So then they get. They get married to this man get off of birth control and they end up resenting who they married, because when you're off birth control, you want a man instead of a feminized man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's a weird deal. There's a, there's a the studies on this. I'm sure I think it was Jordan Peterson who first actually showed a study on this and I was like, is this real? What they basically tracked was women that are on birth control, like men without facial hair, like skinnier, less threatening, less impending, less lumberjack type guys, and so what you end up with is our entire culture. All the young men started to trend towards what women wanted, who were on birth control. So instead of like masculine men with beards, wearing flannels, working hard, jobs, grease under their fingers, doing stuff, it was all the guys are becoming skinny, jean, tight haircut, no facial hair.
Speaker 2:And if you're wondering, like, how did that happen? Is an entire culture of men simping because birth control was changing the, let's say, the sexual priority for women and and and George Gilder paints this in his book men in marriage. But he makes the point women are sexually dominant, which means that men are generally doing things that, uh, are that women want so that they can actually get married, so that they can find find a spouse, find a mate. Women set the um, the rules for how that's supposed to work. God created it that way, and so you have a whole generation of guys like okay, if these are the rules now, so that I can get married and do this.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's almost survival.
Speaker 2:It very much is it's like then I will cool. I mean, you know, I'm not an evolutionist, but I think you can learn from nature. You see these birds, you know like, oh, I got to do this, I'll do this stupid dance. Or you know, you see it with monkeys or whatever it's the, the males are doing things to try to attract or win over the females. This is not untrue of of how God created us. Men are supposed to work hard to produce, we're supposed to. We're supposed to make money. We're supposed to build houses, we're supposed to protect. Those are supposed to be the primary things. And what are? What are the general things that women are looking for? Protection provision, somebody who's going to be a good father to my children those are supposed to be the normal things, but insert birth control and I would just say feminism in general. Just meddling, yeah.
Speaker 3:The world meddling in God's creation? Birth control is that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And it has skewed so many of the appetites that have historically been there for men and women.
Speaker 1:But these appetites, too, have been labeled toxic in a lot of ways too.
Speaker 2:Totally, Totally yeah.
Speaker 3:Toxic masculinity is is just masculinity and actual toxic masculinity, I wouldn't call masculinity, that would be like cultural tampering, right. But birth control, it would be hormonal chemistry tampering.
Speaker 2:Well, and then it becomes family tampering and cultural tampering, because, tim, I don't know if you becoming this skinny-jeaned shaved face, I'll work at home, I'll take care of the kids we all have beards, by the way and what are the women doing because of that? Thank you, yeah, the women are all becoming highly educated business people who are like the breadwinners and the go-getters, and the guys are like I'll stay home with the kids and put the apron on, sweetheart, but that's actually. It's a stereotypical joke that I'm making. Yeah, but ironically, that's what's actually happened is birth control has turned women into more of a type of man, because it's denying the very, let's say, biological structure that they're supposed to follow, and because women are sexually dominant. Men are then simping and becoming women, and then, when women are in their thirties and forties and accomplished, they're looking around for men. So, and then we have the principle of hypergamy to deal with. Could I?
Speaker 3:and I don't know, before you bring up the definition of what that is cause I but like I almost feel like this is in a conversation in the world Right and I think it. It does spill over into the church a lot of times, but I think obviously the goal would be for the church to be a safe haven from that type of tampering and so, when it comes to that sort of environment, still being a man is attractive.
Speaker 2:Yes, right.
Speaker 3:Being a man, knowing your identity as a man, knowing your identity in Christ as a man, yes, is going to be one of the most powerful, attractive things you can be for a woman.
Speaker 1:Well, you say that, but then you, just before that you were like it's not attracting to women anymore.
Speaker 3:In a worldly sense, when you're trying to just get laid, you know for lack of a better word.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's two senses here. Okay, so you have, like deep, real desires and you have surface desires, yeah, okay so, tim, think about it this way there's a girl that you would find attractive that you would not marry, and there's a guy that women would find attractive that you would not marry. And there's a guy that women would find attractive but they would not marry. Why? Well, because there's a set of characteristics that are immediately appealing to me and there's a set of characteristics that are, on a grander scale, more let's say, long-term going to work. For me. That makes sense. Yeah, so the simping that's happening is because men are trying to get their foot in the door, but those guys don't make it in the long run because they're actually not solid individuals.
Speaker 3:Well, they're not who they are the bow is making. They're not the person they're selling themselves to be.
Speaker 2:They are a. They're an attempted response to what they think a woman wants them to be, to what they think a woman wants them to be, which means that I am recreating the idea of man in the spouses and my spouse's image.
Speaker 3:But when you stand on solid, when you stand on solid ground, there's something you're, you're the center of gravity, yeah, um, which I think is kind of like some of those tools that we were, we were going to discuss. Those are some of the things that if, if you've identified yourself as that person who knows who you are, your identification is solidified, you are abandoned to Christ, but you're clueless on how to, you know, have a conversation with a girl. Yeah, then it's like these are some of the things that we need to talk about. Yeah, right, a conversation with a girl. Then it's like these are some of the things that we need to talk about. Yeah, right, and it's like, because so many men they're dudes, are weird, man, you know, like, like you're going on a first date talking about weird stuff, like brother, like you don't bring that stuff up on a first date. Man, like you know, like, bring that up, like three months down the road when you, when you've built enough of a rapport with a girl to joke around with something like that, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's. We talked about it a little bit before, tim. But those three words for love in the Hebrew, raya, achaya and dod. Raya is friendship. Achaya is choosing somebody after you've seen that they're not totally put together, or all the weird things. And then dode literally means souls coming together. It's sex, All right. So in our culture what we've done is we've, we have sex, we become friends and then we find out they're crazy and leave. But the Bible's picture is you're supposed to become friends. Then you actually see some of the things in somebody's life that are maybe weird or out there, which is kind of what you're appealing to. Bro, if you're bringing up your weird obsession with anime, like on the first time you meet, like get out of here. And if you're like, what do you think about my obsession with this particular comic book or something, those are not things you should be doing. Okay.
Speaker 3:But even at that like bring it up and be aware enough to know that it's a little fringe and make fun of yourself for it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, own it. Yeah, own the. You're not going to them looking for acceptance.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah. So you're not trying to cover it up, but what you're doing is you're owning it and making fun of everything you are, because you're so confident in your identity that it's like, yeah, this is what I do. I mean, hey look, you can clown on me all day long for it, but it's been an interest of mine.
Speaker 1:I did that with my wife because I have this weird obsession with dragons, and she didn't know that until we got married.
Speaker 3:And then you uncovered all the dragons she's like what is this?
Speaker 1:Then she opened my closet and there's a statin. No, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2:So this is my gargoyle that I want on our first touch. This is my night outfit. I am such a closet nerd.
Speaker 1:But you're right, it wasn't my identity, it was just something I can make fun of myself. For that I like yeah. And she accepts it and she buys me a bunch of cool stuff now, well, and she has those things too. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, but they, I would say they're a little bit more sane in that women tend to care more about what's going on on the surface than men do, and men tend to be willing to talk about weird things that you know, their whatever IPA they tried last week and their weird thing that they're into with other guys.
Speaker 1:But if you're dealing with the opposite sex, the goal is to actually portray the person the strongest qualities that you have have, not the weirdest things that you're interested in, but you want the other person that's kind of share some of the interests, like you right, so I do love anime. I would want somebody I'm talking to do you like anime, because if not, this is why you're gonna work well, let me talk about that dynamic.
Speaker 2:that's really important. Okay, listen, the purpose of um marriage has become, in our culture, happiness, which has, in turn, made unhappiness grounds for leaving your spouse and finding somebody else with the potential of more happiness. You're talking about compatibility, almost, yeah, yeah, yeah, but here's what I mean. So, when you're talking about this, tim, what you're saying is doesn't it make sense to find somebody who enjoys the same things that I enjoy, so that I can guarantee our happiness that that way, I know that we'll we'll be happy, and if we find things that make us happy together, then then I know that we found something that is long-term. And I'm saying, actually that's the opposite.
Speaker 2:Like, the goal is not to find like these are areas where we disagree with. Start there, let's try to know, like, obviously you're looking for chemistry, you're looking to get along with the person in general, but not with regard to the specific hobbies and weird things that you find the most enjoyable. The goal is first to find a spouse who has the virtues and values that you would want to find in an individual that go beyond immediate happiness or things that I feel like are going to just be enjoyable. It's is this person going to be a good mother to my children. Are they nurturing, are they caring, are they willing to listen? Do they love Jesus? Are they consistent? Are they a?
Speaker 3:flirt with everybody. Are they going to put you before anything?
Speaker 2:else, anyone else and some of the things I'm looking for. How do they talk about their family? How does she talk about, like, if I'm a man? How does she talk about her dad? What is her involvement in the church been? Yeah, how does she?
Speaker 3:act around her brothers. So I think that's another aspect of like identifying a woman in church Just because she goes to church, or, you know, just because she, you, because she is on a serving team or something, that doesn't mean she's solid. Like is she leading a group of women? Like what sort of involvement, what sort of characteristics are actually there that are of substance?
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, and there's a weird thing here too, and there's so much that we could talk about in this category, but this is a good conversation, which you know, I mean, we can talk about tools and things like this, but you know uh, Nancy brought it up too is is like ultimately, your service in the church is going to direct you towards your spouse house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it should, yeah, it should, or at least yeah. Your intentional participation beyond a Sunday morning is what's going to direct you.
Speaker 3:And also it also shows that that's not your primary motive.
Speaker 2:But? But can I tell you how the church tends to undermine this? And I think we're in a church that does an excellent job of not doing this. But I would say in a lot of churches that I've been to and I've grown up in churches is the way that we talk to men about being men is basically telling them to be more like females. Hmm, just be like. We have this narrative like um, guys, if you just be the sweetest, kindest, most caring man, women are going to find that attractive and it's like actually, no, well, that's not that's not really true.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't agree with that. I mean, but who's? Who's the who's the guy that can get all the girls the jerk?
Speaker 2:right, or at least let's say the assertive person, the person who does have opinions, who is straightforward, who isn't going to just bend whenever something happens, but oftentimes at least, growing up in the church, for me and a lot of the churches that I went to, it was like the leaders of those men were effeminate pastors who were raising a bunch of beta males, and then real guys who really love Jesus, who are actual solid masculine individuals wouldn't be caught dead in that church. And then you have a bunch of women looking around like where are all the men at? Because these guys are basically my little brothers who are simping right, trying to if I just be nice enough and sweet enough and kind enough and Christian enough, like listen, I'm trying to be kind here, but I'm going to be straightforward, kind enough and Christian enough. Like listen, I'm trying to be kind here, but I'm going to be straightforward.
Speaker 2:Being a good Christian in that cultural sense does not make you dating material, like knowing who you are in Christ and acting on your identity in Christ absolutely does. And I think those are different things. And a lot of guys come in and they're like if I'm a really good Christian and I do a lot of Bible studies and I really get my porn problem under control, then she'll notice we still haven't reached you, walking in a masculine identity that Christ has called to you. That's you just trying to do? Check off, a checklist so that you think somebody in the church will notice you, which is not. They're not the same things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, uh, I mean, I, I think about it like one of these kind meager, you know, type of guys. Well, I mean, justin Peterson, like you said, he he talks about this like you have to be capable of of danger, you know, you have to be capable of being a monster, and why?
Speaker 2:Because that that gets conveyed to a woman to where you know it's like, because that's what she's looking to protect her family later that and, but it's like all right. What about? You know? Am I looking for a man who blows away in?
Speaker 3:the wind, or am I looking?
Speaker 2:for a formidable spouse.
Speaker 3:Well, also, I mean, think about sexual intimacy too. Right, like, do you want a guy who's like hey, like, um, well, you know, or do you want a guy who's going to take control? You know, what does a women want? There's a reality that men are supposed to be masculine.
Speaker 2:Women are supposed to be feminine and kind of what I was getting at earlier with some of what's gone on in our culture is a lot of the feminist ideals have trickled into the church. Women are now pastors, women can be leaders, women can do all this stuff. We've pushed them down too long. And then the other side of that is men are becoming taking on more feminine characteristics. They're dressing in the tight pants, they're every. Let's talk about worship pastors for a second right, I won't.
Speaker 2:I'm just making a point that there's a type of man that is being recreated in the image of femininity and there's a type of woman who is being recreated in the image of masculinity and it's a type of woman who's being recreated in the image of masculinity and it's actually jacking us up. It's messing us up really bad and we're wondering why divorce rates are skyrocketing. Single being a single in general is so much higher. Tim, we looked at a statistic here for our campus in Inglewood and the demographic is 40% single, 40% single in this area. That means like almost half of them aren't in families. Uh, at this point which is a crazy statistic to think about that half of half of that particular neighborhood, which is very affluent and has a lot of old money, even is is not married, and it tells you a lot Like that's where we're at as a culture. We don't know how to do relationships, we don't know how to do marriage, and then we think.
Speaker 2:I think sometimes that that's disconnected from what's happening in the church, but ultimately the church is dealing with the world and if you don't address what's happening in the world, then the congregants get their information from the world instead of from the church. So Then the congregants get their information from the world instead of from the church. So where we don't talk about sex, where we don't talk about how to address a woman, how to address a man, how to? We better talk about the problem of pornography beyond just saying it's bad. We better talk to women about what men are actually looking for. They're not men are not super hyped up that man. When I think about a girl that I'm interested in, I'm really looking for someone who's highly educated, very affluent, you know, and super rich, doing really well as a business.
Speaker 2:Somebody who is looking for that is a weirdo and is looking for a mom not a spouse Right, and women are not looking for guys who make less than them, who are shorter than they are, who are weirder than they are and less educated than they are.
Speaker 2:This was the principle of hypergamy that I was talking about earlier. Women date and marry up almost exclusively, and men generally date straight across or down. That's usually how that works. And so in the church, if you have a bunch of um people that are coming in, that are single, that have been in the world, who have been chewed up and spit out by the system, and then they come into the church and you're unwilling to address those things or teach people, hey, this is actually what guys are looking for. This is actually what girls are looking for. You need to. You actually need to become what Christ has called you to be, or this is never going to work. You'll continue to anesthetize, if you're a man, your issues with pornography and OnlyFans and hookup culture, instead of finding something solid, because you can't find anybody who doesn't make more than you, who isn't more educated than you or higher up on the business hierarchy than you are. For women, they can't find anybody who's at their level because they're more educated and more affluent than all the guys.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean to kind of consolidate a lot of this and we've talked about is like ultimately, finding your identity in Christ is going to take you into places, into all the places you need to go.
Speaker 1:That can take a lifetime for some folks.
Speaker 2:Well that's unfortunate. Can I bring up another relational principle here that I found very interesting? Single women, I have found, who have kids or are divorced generally are looking for married men, not single men. Here's what I mean, because when you actually get married, if you're a man, there is a maturing element that happens. Women mature men. This is why men are like I would sleep on the same mattress without a sheet for 20 years if I was not married. Now we have sheets, we live in a house, there's curtains, I have an actual set of china.
Speaker 2:Women do domesticate men. It's a really good thing that they do. Now you can go too far, I mean, you talk about that, but there's like a good thing that happens there. And oftentimes, if you're a single woman that's young, who has kids, you're looking for somebody that's like put together and has already walked through the process of being domesticated a little bit and becoming more of a gentleman by being married, and so they're looking around at the age group that's around them and they're only like there's a bunch of boys who don't want responsibility or don't want this stuff and all the people that they're constantly asking where are all the men? All the men are the ones that are married and they don't realize that. Oh no, you have to marry some of those young, slightly immature guys before they become the actual mature guy that you wanted them to be in the first place. I mean, bo, that's kind of some of your story, yeah A little bit right, yeah.
Speaker 3:What I was going to go back to about the solidifying your identity in Christ, though, yeah, is a lot of times a lot of these guys are thinking like man. The possibilities of meeting a good woman who sold out to Christ are just so slim, and so you almost get it in your head where you're already defeated. Yeah, that you're not going to be able to find that that's never going to happen.
Speaker 1:That's a good word.
Speaker 3:But the thing that I think about is like God has multitudes to choose from to bring somebody into your life, and he'll do that when he knows you're abandoned to him and you've set that, or you've handed're abandoned to him and you've set set that, or you've handed that over to him, and so a lot of this kind of it boils down to that right, like you can have tools and you can help yourself out for sure.
Speaker 3:Um, but a lot of it just boils down to like if you think that the odds are totally against you and your chances are so slim, you have to go back to the fact that, with the Lord, anything is possible. Man, he has got so many people to choose from for you that he can coordinate the steps to be put in place for that person to come into your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just as long as you're doing the correct things. Why you're single?
Speaker 3:Oh, absolutely, you have got to be. Your life needs to portray a life abandoned to Christ, because that's what he's going to bless.
Speaker 1:Can't be at home eating chips, playing video games 100%, and so there are steps to be taken, right yeah?
Speaker 3:So working out? Yeah, okay, go out, work out. Make it look like you can protect your family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you should be strong, you know? Yeah, um, I was born tall, so I'm good. How about?
Speaker 2:how about? In your job having ambitions beyond just making it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's, it's important. It can't just be I have a job, I'm doing the thing it needs to be. How am I actually growing and becoming more than I am? Yeah, it's important. It's important to do that and then having an actual protective, a strong protective, I guess I would say quality in you, but really it's a, it's an instinct. It's a good thing to have, do you? This bugs me, man. I was driving the other day past the gym and I saw this girl. She was walking with her kid and she had her kid walking on the side of the road and she was on the sidewalk side you know what I mean or the storefront side and her kid's kind of like walking on the very edge of the sidewalk and they're walking together and my head, it was the weirdest thing, tim. I don't know if it was like God did this or what, but I immediately saw a picture of her and her dad doing that with her Cause. He didn't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he didn't, he didn't know, he didn't know. No, no, no.
Speaker 2:You stand on the car side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I stand you get.
Speaker 2:You get hit. You're closer to the door. You are on that side of the bed.
Speaker 3:That's where the door is.
Speaker 2:That's where I am. Why? Because I'm closer to where the problem is going to be.
Speaker 3:Yes, Not farther away from it.
Speaker 2:Simple, simple things like that are, are are incredibly important, but that's the defensive, loyal instinct that I'm talking about that you should have. This is why men open the doors for women. This is why men are supposed to treat them a certain way, because what we're saying is you are, in fact, incredibly valuable. You're not cheap, you're not uh, you're not just this isn't just a hit of something.
Speaker 3:So this is the entire, uh, kind of an underlying sin within pornography right. You're not protecting women when you're consuming pornography. No.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:You're not protecting women when you're consuming pornography. No, and and that's another aspect I mean I had that walk through when you know I was dealt my sexual immorality blow and I had, I had cut pornography off when I devoted my life to Christ, but it was more out of a self-control thing, right yeah. And when I, when I fell into sexual immorality, it brought home oh, that's why you don't look at porn, because you're actually just abusing women when you watch porn.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and not only that, you are teaching your brain to think that that's how women think about sex.
Speaker 3:Well, I remember you talking about this as, like you're, you're actually turning women into men in terms of sex. Yeah, it's's, it's basically skewed.
Speaker 2:it's so insidious yeah, yeah, it's, it's, but again, it's that reversal of roles we see across all of society right now, and if you think that was an accident, it's yeah it's demonic, it's demonic, it's demonic and bo.
Speaker 2:I love that you keep bringing this back to like your identity in in christ and knowing him and following him 100% and to your point. Psalm 138 is one of my favorite verses because it says the Lord will accomplish what concerns me. Right, the Lord will accomplish what concerns me. So if you're out there like I don't know if I'm ever going to find a girl, and how is this going to happen, quit wallowing in that. Yes, work hard. Yes, get strong, learn how to be this kind of man.
Speaker 3:Or, if you're a woman, learn how to be feminine, learn to love that, and that's what happens when your identity is solidified in Christ. It's because you naturally become more confident, right? You naturally start walking with a different gait. You naturally start becoming a little more upright. You can naturally start walking with a different gate. Yeah, you naturally start becoming a little more upright. You can naturally start talking to anybody with a confidence in your voice.
Speaker 2:And that doesn't. That doesn't start. I want to. I want to put I'm going to make this clear, because we talked about this a little bit and there's another concept here the the boy raises the man, tim. We brought this up on a podcast a while back. All right, so how your son is when he's a kid is going to be how they are when they're an adult. If they don't change some things along the way. That kid is teaching himself how to be who he's going to be when he's older. My job is to step in and try to shape that.
Speaker 2:The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 16, it says be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, and I love this act like men, be strong. What is he saying? Be a man. And I want to put this up, because the word here for act like men actually comes. It's called a hapax legomena, which means it doesn't appear in the New Testament. What it actually is is it's an extra biblical term Doesn't appear in the New Testament. What it actually is is it's an extra biblical term. We get the word from Greek theater Theater. This was a place that they had where they would put on place.
Speaker 2:So literally what he's saying is hey, even if you don't totally feel confident in this yet, even if you don't feel like I got this, I got it put together. You need to start. The boy needs to raise the man. You need to start acting this way now so that one day you will actually be the fullness of what that thing is.
Speaker 2:But if you're wearing your skinny jeans now and shaving your face and simping and doing all these things now, either you're going to be created in the image that is opposite of what God called you to be, or you're going to do what God says and actually begin to act the way that he's called you to, until you become the fullness of what that thing actually is. But make no mistake, you are growing into something. You have a strategy for who you're becoming. Whether it's conscious to you or not, it is producing a conclusion and for a lot of people to Bo's point. Either you're going to be made in the image of Christ and you may not feel totally confident in that yet, and you might have to like work at that and do the right things until they become natural to you, or you're going to go the opposite direction.
Speaker 2:Just for you know, sexual fulfillment or gratification and you're going to be made into the image of a weak, pusillanimous man, who's actually not a man at all.
Speaker 3:but a destroyer.
Speaker 2:He's destroying things, and what you're going to find is a mom, not a mate. You're going to find somebody who's going to mother you, and she's going to be miserable, and so are you.
Speaker 3:You're going to be miserable too. Yeah, it's a horrible circumstance. I'm just glad that I'm finally around somebody that uses the same words that I do.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I know that's not like a crazy.
Speaker 3:No, the Greek theater word I use that word, all the time. I always have to explain to people what that means.
Speaker 1:You brought that verse up before we got going, man. I started laughing because I thought I was making fun of it. It says act like it. It doesn't say be a man. That's actually the point. I was right. That's actually the point.
Speaker 2:I'm smarter, my son, when he picks up swords and wants to fight with dad, is acting the part. He's not actually swinging a real sword yet. He's working at it, so one day the sword will actually feel comfortable in his hand Do you let him win. You know what's funny? There's actually a principle that exists here, I know.
Speaker 1:I had a point to ask you.
Speaker 2:You have to let your kid win a certain amount of times to want them to keep working, and if you beat them every time, they don't want to play ever again and you'll you'll kill it for your own kid. This is, this is the classic baseball dad who makes his kids hate baseball. You know what I mean, cause it has to be part. You know what I mean. But there's this principle of like hey, I'm going to let you get some wins in to just to whet your appetite, yeah, so chase after growing this.
Speaker 2:And this is a. This is important because if you're a man and you're pursuing a woman, I would say, man, having a really good interaction with a girl is a is is great. Or if you're a girl, hey, having a interaction with a man where I didn't feel like I had to, um, yeah, let's say, throw myself around in a particular way to get that kind of attention and it goes well, those are good things. Little wins, so that I'm practicing to get to a place where I actually could get this and sustain it is great. Like this is why I am somewhat a fan of I'm hesitant to use the word dating, but let's say some kind of courtship, especially in, like, high school, because women need to learn to have conversations with men and men need to learn to have conversations with women. They should learn how to do that before they're in a place where they're actually trying to find their real spouse. Some like practice is good, but practice, the way that our world talks about it, is not good at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you say, dating in general is good.
Speaker 2:Really, what I mean is friendship yeah 100%.
Speaker 3:It's like if you're a guy and you're taking a girl on a first date, like do it with the intention of showing her a good time, like go out and show her a good time. Yeah, you know, with with no intention of having a second date, yep Right.
Speaker 2:And why Not? Because I'm trying to get something out of this, uh, from them. This is actually practice for me. Yeah, I'm trying to get good at becoming the kind of man that the woman I would want to be with would actually want to marry someday. That's what I'm working on. I want to do that. So my son is going to learn to open the door for my daughters From a very young age. I'm teaching him hey, when I leave the house, I'm like son, protect my family while we're gone, make sure you take care of everybody. You're the man right now. You know what I mean. And my wife? It bugs the heck out of her. She doesn't like when people say like little man or things like that. She's like they're just boys.
Speaker 1:She yelled at me when your son was born we have this conversation.
Speaker 2:All the time it's like, yeah, but he has to learn now how to be that so. So I realized that, yeah, we can let them be boys, we're not going to destroy them. But also, everything is practice for becoming who they're meant to be. And so if you're a Christian right now and you're like, honestly man, it just it feels like I'm not that guy. Yeah, me too. Do you feel like that? As a Christian, you feel like you're nailing it. As a Christian, do you feel like you're working at that? It's an ongoing process? Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2:And I would say women feel the same way, but ironically, they're looking to men to help lead them in that process, and too often men aren't towing the line. They're not stable people like you're talking about. They're insecure in their own self, and the nurturing dominant aspects of women are then oh well, I'll care for you. You're not totally there yet, but I'll be kind, I'll be gracious, and then it actually becomes a monstrous type of relationship that ends up blowing up later on. Men need to practice it being men. Women need to practice it being women, and this means in the church. The pulpit needs to teach men what men actually are. It needs to teach women what women actually are, which means addressing the unique sins of men and the unique sins of women and teaching them how they're supposed to grow together in the relationship that they're actually meant to have. And that doesn't happen overnight. Everybody needs practice at that, and it's it's hard.
Speaker 1:What do you mean by the uniqueness of sin in men and women?
Speaker 2:Tim, if you had okay, so this would be easy. Tim, and women, tim, if you had okay, so this would be easy, tim.
Speaker 1:What are some sins that are more unique to men?
Speaker 2:That are more unique, yeah, Like if you think about like okay, anger, yeah, for sure. Porn, pornography, right, sexual sin, yep, yeah. You could say like an over dominance maybe, yeah, okay, now let's do this. What are some things that you think would be-.
Speaker 1:That's just masculinity.
Speaker 2:What are some things that you think would be feminine sins? That's just regular.
Speaker 1:Feminine sins. Yeah, oh boy Gossip, yeah, gossip Bitterness.
Speaker 2:Okay, how about, like maybe emotional manipulation?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, these are, these are. There are sins that tend to be more specific to women, like one of them in the Bible is like it's, it's a reoccurring thing Women who are drinking too much wine. Okay, that's funny, cause this is an online trend all across our culture. Yeah, like wine culture. We literally have a name for it. And the Bible is like, yeah, that's a problem, yeah, and we should address it. There are other sins like this that the Bible clearly communicates this is tends to be. It doesn't mean nobody can sin, that it does mean this tends to be more of a male sin or this tends to be more of a female sin, and we should know this. So, men with sexual immorality passivity is a massive problem for men. I do that one a lot. Escapism is a massive problem for men, I do that one a lot too.
Speaker 1:How am I?
Speaker 2:married, isolating for women Bitterness, I would say envy or comparison.
Speaker 1:Do that a lot too. God am I even saved.
Speaker 2:I am the worst aspects of all the men and all the women.
Speaker 1:My goodness, what am I doing? How am I married?
Speaker 2:But consider how addressing these things is hey, these tend to be more female sins how that actually creates a healthy divide in churches. Again, where it's not, we're all in the same boat, we're all the same. When everybody is sitting there like dude, she is not like me and I'm not like her. Well then, quit talking to everybody like they're exactly the same. We're not. We have different roles, we have different characteristics, we're called to different things and the pulpit is supposed to decide and tell us from the word what those things are, instead of the culture.
Speaker 2:And when the culture does, you end up with the reversal of the very roles that God said he created for flourishing. So the confidence that we have to be men and women and actually stand in opposition to the world around us is actually becoming solid and confident in your relationship with Jesus. And then pursuing people who are the same Not the same as you, but are pursuing that same endeavor. And they're not doing it, perfect, cause, just like you're acting like a man, they're acting like a woman, a woman. And this is a playwright where, in the end, jesus is the bridegroom and the church is the bride. And you think, you think the church is that beautiful, perfect, put together woman. No, have grace, you think well, jesus is.
Speaker 3:So just be.
Speaker 2:Jesus right, yeah, but that's ultimately the picture and what it's supposed to look like.
Speaker 1:I get what you're saying, because it's not like I don't struggle with gossip or bitterness or something like that too.
Speaker 2:No, no, but they are uniquely more difficult for, I would say, women than men and in most churches today. Right, you say that out loud and you get crucified for it.
Speaker 3:Right Like how dare you?
Speaker 2:But if I say men have real problems with porn.
Speaker 1:Everybody's like, yeah, totally agree man, they really agree, or it's the man's problem.
Speaker 2:Or if I say men, you're the reason for this. The whole crowd cheers If we say women, you are the reason for this. Oh, am I? And that is a byproduct.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, they're skyrocketing because those things aren't happening. That's what's funny. It's actually wrecking the culture precisely because it's not being addressed the way that it's supposed to be addressed. So just some basic tools for men that I'm going to throw out real quick because I think this is important. Okay, in your endeavor to become the man that God has called you to be, there's some things you should be focusing on. One financial responsibility. All right, you need to find a job and work hard. Okay, I don't care if you were a trash man, work hard. Okay, I don't care if you were a trash man. Become management at the trash company. I don't care if you are a mailman. Find a way to work hard and achieve so that you can provide more for your family. You need to do that too. You need to be a leader in your church. You're not serving and working on beyond. I'm not just serving coffee, I'm, I'm giving money to this church. I am, uh, I'm helping teach. I'm hanging out with mentors here who could teach and grow me. You're not doing that.
Speaker 3:You're. That also showcases that you're prioritizing Christ Totally. You're in your Bible, you're you're pursuing Christ, you're chasing after him and you're bringing other people behind you too.
Speaker 2:Yes, and here's the advice I want to give to any guy who is like, okay, great, those are helpful things, I'll do that. But what happens? How do I get to a place where I'm not so weird or where girls like me more? Find a godly man who is already married, who's not weird because he doesn't have the weird tension that you're holding because you're not married, and make him go with you to different events that you're looking to connect with somebody on All right, because he's not going to carry the awkwardness you carry. Yeah, he's totally fine having conversations with other people.
Speaker 2:And he is going to help alleviate stress. Invite you into the conversation and bring down barriers. He's your wingman. That's it I was going to say. In the secular world this is called a wingman and ultimately that person is just in the absence of alcohol. In a Christian environment you need a good, solid brother who's going to help bring some levity to a difficult situation to try to create some opportunity Within that context.
Speaker 3:you're not always going to have that guy for you right Because he has a family, he has responsibilities that he doesn't have the time to be all the places that you're able to go to that he doesn't have the time to be all the places that you're able to go to. And so those tools that we're talking about, like one of them is wear a smile, wear a smile on your face all the time, yeah, right, because we kind of what you want to do is, you want to be the center of gravity, so you want to be the person that everybody is looking to. So, not to a degree, but there's a concept called peacocking. So we, you know, this isn't the most biblical book, because ultimately, the the, the goal is to have sex.
Speaker 3:So, but if you can, if you can compartmentalize it, there's a book called the game, okay, so by a guy named Neil Strauss, and he kind of penetrated this world of pickup artists, okay, and so there's kind of a concept of beginning, middle and end game, and so you don't need to really necessarily worry about the end game, and you also need to to protect yourself, to make sure you're not getting into a manipulative, you know, type of scheme, and so, but what you can do is you can adopt some of the tools that are just deeply psychological, right, and so one of them when you wear a smile into any room you go into, what do you think is inevitably going to happen? Other people are going to start smiling too, right. They're going to be looking at this guy like man. This guy kind of like lightens the mood.
Speaker 1:Or they're going to come up and talk to me when I'm looking.
Speaker 3:I never have a smile.
Speaker 2:Think about it this way If somebody's looking for a spouse, but if you want those to come up and talk to, you.
Speaker 2:What they're not looking for is somebody who's going to be exhausting. Okay, if you look angry and sad all the time, or in those environments, all that says is I don't want to hang out with that person. They're not fun, they're not strong, they're a project. That that's. That looks like a horrible circumstance to find myself in. It's not. It's not like some kind of esoteric wisdom, it's like, hey, you know, actually being fun in an environment where the goal is to like talk with people and facilitate a hospitable atmosphere smiling, laughing and intentionally uh like facilitating, uh, you know, laughter and good conversation is is just common sense and uh, a lot of people are walking around with their hands folded, also good in the workplace.
Speaker 3:If you're walking around and you got a smile on your face all the time like you're an enjoyable person to be around and you're an enjoyable person to work with, yeah. And then if you're mitigating the gossip, right, yeah, then everybody wants to be around you because they know they can trust you. Yeah.
Speaker 2:True, yeah, I'm going to throw one more thing out and then I'm going to shift a little. The other thing that I would say for guys is the environments that you choose matter. So if you are with a bunch of people who are dummies, or hang out with a bunch of friends who are not saved, and they got girls that you know that are not saved, in these different things you need to be very careful, the environments that you find yourself in. So if you are trying to find a solid person, look in solid environments. And if you're all the things that I just talked about as far as being stable um, working really hard at making money and do that, like those things are really good. They also work in a secular environment and my goal would not be for you to land yourself in an environment you know, a situation where you're you're catching feelings for somebody that you should not be catching feelings for Because, guess what?
Speaker 3:If you utilize these tools, you can they? Work, they work, they work. Yeah, right, and and you don't want them to work on somebody that you shouldn't be with for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2:Okay, now I'm gonna. I'm gonna flip gears real, real quick. Women, sometimes there are a lot of godly ladies out there who think, well, if it's a real manly man who really loves jesus, I shouldn't have to wear makeup, I don't need to do my hair and I can dress in a smock because he'll notice me, because God is the one who's going to tell him to marry me.
Speaker 2:Listen, guys are not that smart. Okay, we don't think that way. I would say girls, if you love Jesus and you're looking for a solid man and you know of one, you love Jesus and you're looking for a solid man and you know of one, okay, and you see, you feel like he's not totally noticing. You Listen, I'm not saying to like slut it up.
Speaker 3:Don't do that.
Speaker 2:What I am saying is wear something nice, do your hair.
Speaker 2:Catch his eye, put some perfume on and stand in front of him, okay, like make yourself at least clearly in his world. There's a couple that I know that she recently got married to this guy, who saw a guy loves Jesus because she joined his small group and joined his serving team intentionally, because she was pursuing him, not in his face, shaking his hand, giving him her number. Guys are supposed to be the ones that, let's say, initiate, yeah, but she was placing herself in all the environments for that to take place. And I would say, oftentimes the joke is that women women are like showing attraction to a man by glancing at him and then looking away Right, and a guy is like totally confused by that.
Speaker 3:Doesn't realize.
Speaker 2:Oh no, that's at least somewhat of a look back at me, smile right Like kind of thing you know, and a guy's like girl, is that, oh, she must be ashamed of how I look. I should walk away right Like there's an element that I was like. No girls, you can be a little bit more clear, you can be a little bit more straightforward and you can intentionally utilize the beautiful thing that God has made you to be. God literally made women beautiful, like they're supposed to be.
Speaker 2:And I would say, if you're trying to downplay that and I do not mean sexual, uh, stirring up sexual lust here at all, that is not what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:I am talking about putting yourself in an environment where he would actually notice you if he's the kind of man that you think is worth being with at some point. So just that simple tool. And then I would say this for women If you have a solid father, okay, he should, you should be bouncing ideas off of him about the conversations that you're having and how it's going and the different things that are going on, about the conversations that you're having and how it's going and the different things that are going on If you don't have a pastor that you're talking to, about that relationship as well, so that you at least have some kind of masculine figure that is going to be able to sniff out a wolf if he's a wolf. So just as a couple of quick reminders for people, I think those principles are incredibly important as you're trying to catch somebody in the name of Jesus In the name of Jesus.
Speaker 1:Any final thoughts guys?
Speaker 3:Well, I mean you know, like we go into appearance right, and so one of the things that that book I remember talking about was this guy had the worst hair in the world. Guy had the worst hair in the world and the minute, uh, his mentor kind of got ahold of him was like we need to take you to the barbershop and we're going to get rid of all your hair right now, right, and so that for men as well, there's an aspect like we kind of talked about working out like there's an aspect to being groomed, there's an aspect to knowing how to dress Right and all. There's so much re so many resources out there. Go on YouTube, learn how to dress right, and all there's so much re so many resources out there. Go on YouTube, learn how to dress, learn how to look, and because that, just like Justin was saying, on the female side, the same is true for for the male too.
Speaker 3:You know, um, and then also understand how to hold a conversation right, so you can approach a girl. I think it's very important for men to initiate contact right. I think it's important for men to be assertive and kind of. You know, if you notice a girl like, approach her, like, start a conversation with her. Have an opener, you know like under kind of kind of understand where you're going to go in the conversation. Have a few talking points that you typically hit on If you have an insecurity.
Speaker 1:I mean not a pickup line, right? No, not at all Like an actual conversation, yeah.
Speaker 3:And so that also goes into, like serving the church is going to make that entrance into a conversation much better. And then we kind of say, like when you get into a date or when you get into a conversation, don't talk about weird stuff, bro. You know, like, keep it light, keep it funny, understand who you are as a person and be confident in that. Also, there's another aspect is like you know, I was talking about a guy with an eye condition, right? So something like that makes an individual deeply insecure and it makes them go into their shell majorly. Okay.
Speaker 3:But there's a different aspect. When you own it and you're just upfront about it and you almost make it a joke and you completely release that power that it had over you, right. So when you own it and it's kind of like when people start making fun of you for something and then you just like take it and you start, yeah, you know you own it, it totally loses all power and then people can't use it against you anymore, right. Same is true for an insecurity you know. So. So own it, become the center of gravity so that people are paying attention to you, believe it or not. Speaking loudly is indicative of confidence, because you don't care who's hearing you. It can be a little embarrassing for the person you're talking to, so it's like you know, don't be an idiot. How's that rash? Yeah, that would be one of those things where you don't bring up on the first. Yeah, I got this rash here. You know, really been bothering me for a solid month.
Speaker 2:You know, don't bring something like that up on the first month. That might be a little odd.
Speaker 3:No, those are those are good things.
Speaker 3:But the beginning game is like, how do I approach the girl? You know, like so. So just a point of of, like physical, uh, like in the in. You know how you are 3d, right, If you're going up to a girl and her back is to you, don't go up to her directly behind her. That's threatening, Okay, and like tapping her on the shoulder, you know, because if she's like at a, at a wall or something or along a desk, like you, don't approach her directly behind her, Right? So you just brought up her directly behind her.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:So you just brought up a story for me real quick.
Speaker 3:Well, what I'm what? I'm real quick. Approach her from an angle so that you're in her periphery Right. So that's not threatening, it's showing up out of nowhere. Yeah, Physically speaking that's much more congenial.
Speaker 2:Nothing like showing up like a murderer you know exactly.
Speaker 1:I told you I was a closet nerd, so I went to an anime convention years ago, the first and last one I ever went to don't lead with that, guys the amount of weirdos there.
Speaker 1:Okay, but you had a lot of girls dressed up in these characters, a lot of them attractive, with the weirdest dudes coming up out of nowhere like can I hug you? Can I give you a hug? Like this happened in front of me, and this one dude kept asking this one girl I'm like dude. She said no, like embarrass the crap out of this yeah yep, but to your point, he kept coming up and grabbing her and touching, like this is weird.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this is weird, that's her personal bubble, right, don't interfere with that. Another thing is is like know how to end it. Okay, like we kind of talked about, if you're on a first date, the goal is just give her a good time, like show her what it is. I remember you said a long time ago like like show her what it's like to date a man you know who's not going to try and take advantage of her at the end of the day, yeah.
Speaker 3:Right. So if the intention is to show her a good time, okay. Well, if you end up catching feelings, okay, and you know she's obviously not into and everybody knows when she's it's, she's just not into it. Right, don't continue to light her up with pages of texts, you know. Don't continue to just like hound her. Learn how to say you know what, I'm dying inside, but I'm just going to let it go. Better luck next time. Yes, you've got to be able to do that because, say, you're in a church, okay, and you're a guy and you've pursued a girl and now you're lighting her up with pages of texts and you were delivering like stuff to her door and it's like she's told you multiple times now, like I don't want this to continue. Well, if you guys are in the same church, like how is that going to be for you trying to date another girl in the church?
Speaker 2:now. Yeah, I say it this way. I tell people all the time hold on with your hands, not your heart. You want to like work in the relationship. If it's somebody worth pursuing, you go that direction. But I am not allowing my feelings to go there Like they would with somebody that I'm going to marry until I know. Dude, I really think this is happening Like the goal is not to stir up emotions. The goal is to investigate if this is the kind of person I want to be with and then when you reach that point, you are intentional.
Speaker 3:Yes, like my intention in dating you and pursuing you is to marry you. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And once you know that they're interested in that and you are man, yeah. But again, a fool gives away his heart early. And I would even say in Song of Solomon it talks about this, the women in there saying don't awaken love before it's time. And everybody wants to make that about sex. I would say no, that happens way before sex. Is this I'm giving my heart away to somebody, like when I'm talking to a guy, tim, who's dating a girl and she's having a bad day, so now his day is wrecked. Okay, she's setting the tempo for your life right now. You've gone too far. Yeah, chill out, get yourself reestablished in Jesus and get to a place where you can lead her Cause. Right now, her emotions are leading you and what you're telling me is you're unfit for this.
Speaker 3:Really important and I would say that it's it is easiest to do that, right. I mean, I've I got caught, I've got caught up, I've got caught up multiple times, right. But I also knew, like I don't want to be that dude. That's just like bombarding this girl, so I just kill it.
Speaker 1:That happened to me too, and I hated who I was during that time I really did. Cause I had. No, I lost myself.
Speaker 3:Yeah Right, so don't allow it to transfer to her. Just kill it, let yourself dwell with it, okay, and then you'll eventually move on Awesome.
Speaker 2:Swallow it.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I mean, it's like learning how to start, learning how to end, learning how to be intentional and pursue, you know so?
Speaker 1:yeah, we're going to wrap up, but just as a reminder, we have this send a text thing on our description page. So if you have questions or thoughts, please send them our way. Email us and I'll have Bo give you some advice. Yep, and it'll show up on your date and you know.
Speaker 2:Wingman. Yeah, yeah, you need a wingman. If you guys are looking for further reading material on this, by the way, write that in too. I could make some recommendations, yeah.
Speaker 3:Real quick. I'm sorry. There's an aspect to being a wingman too. I remember, secularly speaking, like I would go out with other guys and they would trash me in front of girls, you know, like little low key, like They'd be getting ahead at your expense. Yeah, why are you as tall as I am? You're not as tall as I am.
Speaker 2:And then they'd look down at my shoes like oh, you're wearing like like those shoes.
Speaker 3:Okay, that makes you look way taller in front of the girl, right? Yeah, like it's incredible how insecure guys are, yeah, okay, so let me give you some advice about a wingman.
Speaker 3:A wingman is going to go with you and he is going to talk you up to be the coolest, most interesting guy you've ever met in front of a girl. Right, and vice versa. If you're both single, yeah, right, but that is the responsibility of a wingman. A wingman is supposed to make you look like the coolest dude in the room yeah, right, but that is the responsibility of a wingman. A wingman is supposed to make you look like the coolest dude in the room.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's, he's. He's selling you, but he's doing it in a low key environment. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it's like you're helping your buddy at like and then you know if it's it's so. It's like these guys are like oh man, that shows security, that portrays something, that conveys something to a woman, that's like these guys are really cool guys. You know, rather than the flip side of insecurity trying to trash someone to make yourself look better, Like a wingman scenario is always propping your friend up to make them out to be awesome.
Speaker 2:Yes, they get to be David, you be Jonathan.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's the goal. Nice Cool Thanks Bo for being here today, bud.
Speaker 2:Right on. Yeah, enjoyed it. Guys, have a fabulous week and if you're a man, act like a man.
Speaker 1:Act like a man. Act like a man. Catch you all next time.
