King's Banner Podcast
Welcome to King's Banner Podcast. We got tired of the same ole answers when we started looking for help when it came to our walks with God. So together we go deeper than most would on topics that most people have heard or were taught but never fully understood. It is our way of simplifying concepts that we may have over complicated throughout our lives. Bringing theology and life experience into each episode. It is our hope and desire to help you in your Christian walk.
King's Banner Podcast
Head Coverings And Christian Hierarchy
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Some Bible passages don’t get ignored because they’re unclear, but because they collide with modern instincts about power, identity, and authority. We go straight into two of the most avoided texts, 1 Corinthians 11 on head coverings and 1 Timothy 2:15 on “saved through childbearing,” and we ask what they reveal about God’s design for men, women, and spiritual leadership in the home and the church.
We talk honestly about hierarchy and headship, why the word itself triggers people, and how Paul ties external symbols to deeper realities like honor, submission, and accountability. Then we tackle the strange phrase “because of the angels,” connecting it to spiritual rebellion and the broader biblical theme that rejecting God’s order doesn’t create freedom, it breeds chaos. We also clarify what “saved through childbearing” does and does not mean, pointing to redemption, legacy, and the way Christ enters the world through a woman.
From there we zoom out to the modern relationship landscape: church culture that only corrects men, patterns like gossip and manipulation, sexual double standards, divorce incentives, and the way online attention distorts value and dating. We close with practical advice for young Christian men who want marriage and family but feel like the system is stacked: look at her father, her community, and what she projects online, and hold boundaries before you hand over your heart.
If you want biblical Christianity that applies to real marriages, real temptations, and real decisions, listen through and weigh it against Scripture. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the question you want us to tackle next.
Welcome And Book Update
SPEAKER_01Hey guys, welcome to King's Banner Podcast. I'm again joined by Justin, our published author.
SPEAKER_00Uh almost. Almost.
SPEAKER_01Well, that you've got a first printing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's, I mean, it's it's happening. We have my my wife is the person, like, I'll get everything to 85%. And she's the person that's like um, she went back through like the whole first print and was like, okay, there was dashes here and dots here. They have to be the same. And I'm like, you do it. God just gave me a gift and someone who cares about all the little details in those areas that I don't care about. And uh so by the grace of God and the benevolent nature of my wife, we will have uh something coming out here in the next next month, probably. Awesome. Pumped about it. Yep. Get ready. But I am excited. It is a weird thing reading back through it. Yeah. And being fired up about it again. I mean, because I wrote it like I wrote it like a year ago. You know what I mean? And now that it's like ready, yeah. I don't know. I've been wondering because I got these other books, and I'm like, am I gonna be I'll probably be pumped. Yeah. Maybe I'll turn them into a sermon series. Wait, just wait, you'll see. It'll be it'll be lit.
SPEAKER_01A book to a sermon series to a new book to a podcast.
SPEAKER_00Just wringing the dopamine out of all of it. Yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_01Squeeze that content wrong out for Christ.
SPEAKER_00Rung
Why Women’s Sin Gets Ignored
SPEAKER_00out of yes. Anyway, so what are we what are we covering today, bro?
SPEAKER_01No, so women.
SPEAKER_00Oh.
SPEAKER_01I we we we talk we talk about.
SPEAKER_00As soon as you said that, uh, for those of you that didn't know, Fred immediately dropped something in the background, which I think is probably the taboo sentiment on the topic and our culture today. So that's that's perfect timing. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, you're that's the whole point, is we are really good um at just burning men alive. Burning men alive, going to war with their sins and our own sins, and it's a good thing to do that.
SPEAKER_02Sure.
SPEAKER_01Um, but there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff that I think um doesn't get addressed as far as the sins of women, doesn't get covered as far as uh biblical commands to women, um, isn't really visible in our culture with the the culture of fail like failed marriages or the um the complete catastrophe that is um women trying to relationships family today, dating men checking out of the entire world because of the fact that you can now just get everything online and you don't have to deal with women who are already like there's just so much to talk about.
SPEAKER_00I mean, we've graduated beyond women now, you know. I mean now we have AI women, yeah. Something soulless and and more perfect, you know? Yeah. Quote unquote.
SPEAKER_01More perfect.
SPEAKER_00Or or, you know, uh we just have men being women instead now. Which is so Romans 1-esque. You know what I mean? It's like people wanted to worship the creation rather than the creator. So they exchanged normal affections for unnatural ones, which is a way of men saying, like, you know what, I'd rather have myself, but I'd like you dressed up as a woman, please. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's disgust, it's it's freaking disgusting out there. Yeah. Stay safe. Okay. Stay safe. Look for the Adam's apple. Be aware. Be aware.
Head Coverings And Biblical Authority
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so you wanted to talk about that.
SPEAKER_01I want to talk about there's there's just a lot there. And so, like, for instance, yeah. Um I'm just gonna go there. Um, head coverings. Oh, okay. Like, there's churches don't address that topic at all.
SPEAKER_00Ever.
SPEAKER_01Ever. Cool. And like there's sometimes you see in the church where you've got like those women sitting in the front row with their head coverings sitting next to their husbands, and you're like, So what's happening there? Like, what and so, like, all right, where do you stand biblically on head coverings in our modern age?
SPEAKER_00This is so fun that that you asked about this. Okay, so let's just go there. Yeah. First Corinthians 11 will be fun. Um, and it's really like it's I I would say it's it to your point, it's one of those texts that everyone seems to know about, but nobody seems to talk about much. Yeah. I'll give it the the best reading that I can to kind of break down what's going on here. All right. Okay. All right. So Paul starts out with be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ. Okay, so right off the bat, we have a picture of Paul following Christ and Paul telling people that are following him to follow Christ or to follow him as he is following Christ. It's creating a hierarchy. Yeah. Okay. This this is important. This is a word that we don't like today. We don't like the word hierarchy. No. We don't like to think about hierarchies, we don't like that hierarchies exist. Yeah, well, hierarchies smash hierarchies, especially when they're male-led, which tends to be called patriarchy. And we have uh Father God, uh, and we have uh church fathers. Um I am not, I'll generally tell people that I'm a complimentarian because they understand what that means uh better. But uh like if I'm being biblical and I'm having a conversation with somebody who is open to like understanding, I'll generally tell people I'm I'm a patriarchy guy. Yeah. I believe that God is a father. I believe that fathers are supposed to lead their homes, I believe that men are supposed to lead society. I think this is a good thing in how God actually made these things to work. And so when we look at this text, we're seeing, okay, we have God and we have Paul following God and him telling, you're supposed to follow me as I'm following God, and then he says this. Um I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold firmly to the tradition, just as I deliver them to you. But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, okay? Hierarchy. Christ is the head of every man, the man is the head of the woman, hierarchy, and God is the head of Christ, as in the Father. Yeah. Right? Okay. Every man who has something on his head while praying or prophesying disgraces his head. But every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophes uh or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is uh one and the same as the woman whose head is shaved. A woman who does not cover her head, um, let her also have her hair cut off, but it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man, for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but the woman for the man's sake. Therefore, the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head because of the angels. Okay. Uh we could keep reading, we could dig into this farther, but I want to show you here we have biblical structure. All right. We have God the Father, all right, we have God the Son uh submitting to God the Father, we have uh man who is made in the image of God, or is the uh the creation of God, and then we have woman who is made out of man, and then we're supposed to kind of follow this trajectory. This is how God has orchestrated things and made them to be. Okay, and he's saying that a man not wearing a head covering, uh, or a man wearing a head covering while he prays is functionally putting himself in a uh submissive role, and a woman not wearing a head covering is putting herself in a leadership role, if you think about it this way. The covering is supposed to be a symbol of being under the authority of your husband, and the um the husband not wearing a covering when he's going before God is a symbol of saying, I'm take, I'm hearing from you, I'm receiving from you, and I'm giving to her. All right, so a head covering in this particular culture and time was a symbol of saying, I respect my husband, I respect my spiritual head, I am um being careful about how I, let's say, uh reveal who I am, lest people be tempted in unnecessary ways or things like this. You've I mean you've heard these kind of comments before, um, but like, you know, when Mary Magdalene takes her, you know, her head covering off and and washes Jesus' feet with her tears, this is like a scandalous thing that she's doing. It's like real uh intimacy, like not in a uh sexual necessarily way, but like riding the line of ultimate vulnerability. This kind of old naked and unashamed idea is coming up here. So when we're reading this, what we're seeing is hierarchy, we're seeing the way that God created things to be, and we're seeing head coverings as part of a way of saying that I am submitting to the way that God created things from the beginning. He created it to function this particular way. And this is why we get to this weird statement because of the angels.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Right?
SPEAKER_00That's the things thrown in there. It's a joke that we have in our house that my wife will randomly say this. You know, the kids ask a question that's very difficult to something that doesn't make sense. It's because of the angels. He's like, oh, yes, of course, because of the angels. Well, if you think about the context um of what we're talking about, hierarchy, the order in which things are supposed to be.
Practice Versus Principle Today
SPEAKER_00Uh, when we think back at Genesis 6, who rebelled against God's hierarchy? The angels. The angels. You have the angels coming down and sleeping with the daughters of men, you have the Nephilim being created, you have this whole mess because of leaving the hierarchy of how God created things or intended them to happen. So he's literally making the point. Did you see what happened when you abandon God's way to create things in the way that things are supposed to function? It leads into absolute chaos. Okay. So when we read this, he's showing us this is what it's supposed to be like. Now, the question that you run into ultimately comes down to this. Every uh practice holds a principle. The question is, is the practice still relevant in that it's communicating the same principle or is it not? Okay. All right. So if I greet my brother with a holy kiss, okay, in you know, first century AD, that's the equivalent of a high five or shaking hands. All right, great to see you. Okay. That's a different practice, communicating the same principle.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Here's what I want to communicate to you. No principle in scripture um is without a practice, but the practice may look different from culture to culture. Some things are going to transcend culture a little bit. Killing somebody in one, you know, culture is still killing someone in another culture. Lying to somebody in one culture is lying to somebody in another culture. But how you communicate, I'm married, I love my husband, and I'm I'm committed to him and I'm submitted to him, is may look different in one culture to another. Here, it would be like having a wedding ring on. Um, that would be kind of important. Uh I'll go there for a second. All right. Okay. So what does it look like when a woman is not respecting her husband? Uh, let's say, like in a public gathering. What would that look like?
SPEAKER_01She is disrespectful to him in her words. She might be dressed evocatively. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I would say if she's dressed a little bit skanky, maybe she's flirting with other men. What she's saying is, I don't really care about him. I'm not really submitted to him. I'm doing my own thing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh, kind of like Satan in in Genesis 6, kind of like the other angels, right? Like it's this mentality of abandoning the way that God has made things to happen. So somebody who's wearing a head covering today is taking a practice from the first century and applying it today as a way of communicating, I'm doing what I believe God has called me to do in my marriage with my family, towards my husband, towards God. Is this a bad thing? No. No. But you may not be communicating something that anybody else can understand except you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00This is like getting a tattoo that nobody understands but you. It's a little bit uh like unless you're hoping people ask you so you can tell them about it. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's a little bit weird. Um, so some people, like if some if if a lady is wanted to wear a head covering at church, I would say, praise the Lord, go nuts. I think that's great. Good for you. You're trying to honor God, honor your husband, and try to be uh true to what the Bible says. That's a good thing. I would also say somebody who's not wearing a head covering, but loves their husband, is dressing appropriately, isn't flirting around with any men, and is submitting to her husband, that's a good thing. You're doing the same thing. The principle is being applied. The principle is being applied despite what the practice may look like from culture to culture. Some people uh would say the principle or the practice uh is evocative enough, you know, is strong enough, it creates enough conversation and questions that it's worth bringing back to try to communicate or use it in a prophetic way to culture to say we need to get back to what this is supposed to look like. I I don't know that I would land in that boat, but I'm sympathetic to it. Yeah, like I get what you're trying to do.
SPEAKER_01Stuff that I think that could be applied to.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So when we look at when we talk about head coverings, what we're ultimately talking about is the order and hierarchy in which God has created things to function. And uh 1 Corinthians 11 is this picture of when we step outside of how God has created things and made them to function, what we're actually doing is inviting chaos in. And he equates it to what happened in Genesis 6. He's equating it to the spiritual rebellion in the heavenly places and is functionally saying, when you step outside of how God created things to be, you are functionally operating like the demons. Which is a that's a kind of a massive statement. Yeah, that's that's right. It's not like a it's not like a little thing. It's a pretty big thing. But I I hope that I hope that answers some of the questions.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that that really does a good job of fleshing that
Saved Through Childbearing Explained
SPEAKER_01out. Okay. Um tying to that a little bit, one of the other big pieces that I think gets skated by that specifically applies to women. Um, in First Timothy, it talks about um women being saved through the bearing of children.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. Um what what does First Timothy 215? Yes. Yeah, this is a fun one. All right, uh, because it talks about uh women must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness, but I do not allow a woman to teacher exercise authority over man, but remain quiet. And everybody's like, I know that text, and then you read the next part, and some people are like, and I don't know what that means. Okay, for it was Adam who uh first was created and then Eve. Okay, so again, reinforcing this hierarchy that God created. Again, the fact that I have to make balancing statements about this, Trice.
SPEAKER_01Don't make the balancing statement. Okay, well we're gonna go.
SPEAKER_00Okay. All right. It was Adam who was uh it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived fell into transgression. All right. But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint. Okay. Some translations will see will say women will be saved through childbearing. And people are like, Yeah? What does that mean? Like I heard John MacArthur tell the story one time about going to this like uh place in Africa, and he's like, I was amazed because everyone had like 13, 14 kids. No, and he ended up teaching on this topic, and everybody was like, Wait, what? Like, I thought that's how they were gonna be saved was by having babies. So all these poor, worn-out ladies, God help them just popping out babies. Okay, I'm sorry. So, okay, so what you have in this passage is a teaching about what happened at creation. Uh Eve was deceived, not Adam, but then Adam partakes in the sin of Eve, which is a whole conversation we could have as well. Um the original simp. Adam. There you go. Okay. Uh Eve is deceived, she does some stupid things, she ushers sin into the world. It's important to note she eats the fruit before Adam does. She's the one in conversation with Satan. She takes the fruit, she eats it. She then gives it gives it to Adam. So her reputation ultimately is that of the person who was deceived who is having a conversation who ushered death into the world. Thank you, Eve. That sweet, sweet lady. Um ultimately, what this is communicating is that women do not have to live under the weight of the person who is deceived and usher death in. Because by having godly offspring, they will ultimately be able to redeem their own reputation of raising up the next generation. Now, typologically, I would say this is even more solidified in the person of Christ. All right. Jesus was born of a woman. Yeah. Like literally salvation came to all people, and they were saved through Christ, through this child that was born. So you have this picture of not only salvation and their own salvation coming through Christ, through childbearing, through bearing children, but also through uh also their reputation itself would be absolved of the destruction and brokenness that was wrought by their sin through bringing about life itself and that ultimately um culminating in Christ and his finished work. Okay. So so this doesn't mean you are saved by having children. This means that uh salvation came through childbearing and a lineage of people that brought this about, and also your own reputation and your own uh opportunity for redeeming who you are and what you have done actually gets to come through the offspring and the godly life that you leave and the the family that goes on after you, which is kind of cool.
SPEAKER_01It's almost like raising godly children and being a godly parent is a good thing.
SPEAKER_00Godly wife, specifically a godly. If you are a woman, a godly wife. Yeah. That would be that would be the goal. Yeah. Yeah. So this is um uh uh an important text, and I think it's important to remember that that it's super redemptive. When we read this, it's supposed to be this reminder that by doing this thing, you're actually reversing the curse in a sense. You are winning background that was taken. Yeah. And you're accomplishing what you were meant to accomplish. Uh what was originally your downfall and brokenness now gets to be the thing by which you redeem humanity and participate in the Great Commission and restoring everything that Christ um came to die for. Okay.
SPEAKER_01So I hope that helps. No, that's really good.
Church Culture Blaming Men Only
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It it kind of feels like these two things are very much tied together to the hierarchy of Genesis.
SPEAKER_00We've abandoned in our culture today the hierarchy that God intended for the flourishing of mankind. So let's talk about just that now. We have, man. Um we've we've forgotten what women are, we've forgotten what man is, we've belittled men, uh, and I in churches as well. Look, I'm all for calling men to more. Heck yeah. Quit laying the responsibility of the sins of every person ever on men. Uh I think sometimes what gets communicated is all of this is the man's fault all the time. Men do a better job. Women, you guys are perfect. You don't have any issues, you didn't make any mistakes. It's all the man's fault all the time. And like, that is just not the case. Yeah. That is not the reality. Have you seen um, I'm trying to think what the show was. Was it Parks and Wreck? Uh where the ladies they're they're in this um like court case or something, and um this girl is talking to her dad, and she's like, I have never done anything wrong ever in my entire life. And he says, I know you haven't, sweetheart. You're perfect. And she says, more money, please. Right? And he just gives her money. You know what I mean? Like it's so funny, but I feel like sometimes that's how we talk about things in churches. Yeah. And every woman is a princess, and we do nothing but validate and build up and encourage. And in a lot of ways, we're just mirroring what the world is doing by constantly validating, encouraging, empowering, and then kicking men. Yeah. That is not biblical. No. Like that is not that like I realize men hold responsibility. We're to, we're to provide, protect, lead, all the things I could, and we talk about all the things that men need to do ad nauseum. Yeah. All right. And I'm I'm gonna continue to do that. I believe if we call men to more, amazing things will happen. But I would say in our culture today, uh um a lot of women have just r left the reservation entirely.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, I I would be chagrined if I let us skate past this without m my wife specifically would would say, You better talk about this. And that's the fact that we talk about in church all the time and even in general culture all the time about um Um pornography and that being first and foremost a male thing. Like currently
Gossip And Manipulation As Patterns
SPEAKER_01our culture has gone so crazy that it's pervasive everywhere. But it is very much a male prioritized sin. Um we don't talk a bit about gossip. And that is like you you can just like I can even say gossip and you just laugh because that's a everybody can gossip, but that is a very, very Yeah, and Titus it's specifically one of the sins that's basically brought up.
SPEAKER_00Drinking wine like too much wine is brought up with women specifically, and being gossips, like being homebodies. You're just you're going around, you're talking to people, you're this, you're that. It's uh there's specific stuff that we point out with men, and gossip is one of the ones that the Bible is specifically like, ladies, I'm talking to you right now. Just quit. Yeah. And I think gossip, I'm gonna go here, is not just the desire to talk about whatever is going on. Uh most women understand you have a deep desire to know more than you should. Yeah. You have a deep, like, I want to know about this, and I want to know about that. Even when I talk, I love, I love my wife, okay. But she wants to know details about everything. You know what I mean? Like, what about this? When is this happening? When is this happening? If somebody's pregnant, good night. If I don't know the potential name list, the exact date of conception, you know what I mean? Like um the the you know, the the uh the the pounds, you know what I mean? The babies that whatever. Like I'm like, I don't know, I don't know any of these. Well, how do you not know? I don't know. How did you have a 10-minute conversation with someone and for like information about people? This happens with online stuff. Yeah. Ladies, if you're listening to this podcast, you are better at stalking than men are. You just are. You're better at following people, keeping up to date on all the things going on in their life. And you have an internal desire to call people and discuss other people's lives for absolutely no reason. Just to talk about their life and make judgments about what you think about it and why. And and I'm telling, like, it's it's not good. This is not born from a good place for you. No. The your um part of the um women are supposed to keep quiet in the assembly thing, uh, I think actually is connected a little bit to this dissension and problems arrive and arise because there's people, women, uh, getting into conversations, getting information about this person and that person. Now we have dissension, now we have conflict, we have stuff going on that shouldn't be going on. Um, it's it's real. It's a it's a thing. So am I saying, ladies, you're not allowed to talk? No, uh, we clearly have women prophesying, just in 1 Corinthians, like I was talking about. You have women doing worship stuff, but the the goal should be you're learning from your husband, which you need to know. You're allowing him to lead your family in worship, in teaching, and the things that you're supposed to do. Um, get into the details of that if you want to. But gossip is brought up, wine is brought up in the Bible at one point. I think it's an Amos. It literally talks about women being these cows of Bashan. Literally, he's like, listen, you cows of Bashan, who are drinking too much wine and doing this. And all I can think about is like the blue-haired, nose-ringed feminazi uh at that's at every counter at Starbucks that I've ever walked into. You know what I mean? Yeah. Uh yeah. A cow of Bashan. Yep. I went there. I'm probably gonna offend some people today. But like it's making it. It's just it's reinforcing this stereotypical person that is infatuated with things that they shouldn't be, that is expressing rebellion even in how even what they wear and how they communicate. Like, I look a pride parade. What is it? It's a giant rebellion against what God has called you to do. Okay. Uh, we have like the, you know, the whole like free the nips, you know what I mean? Like, well, what are we doing? Well, we're we're exposing our nakedness as a you know, uh um uh stick it to the man, you know, we're trying to get away from oppression, whatever you want to call it. All it is ultimately is I'm taking my head covering off. Yeah, I'm doing what I want to do, I'm living how I want to live, I'm no longer doing these things. And in fact, my goal is not just to be liberated from men, my goal is to dominate men.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We should know, we shouldn't be serving that, they should be serving us. Um and this is Genesis 3.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, takes us right back to uh your desire will be for your husband, but he will rule over you. Like the goal of this picture, what it's saying is hey, he's supposed to lead things, but your desire is actually going to be to lead him. This word for desire for your husband is the same word in Genesis four, where uh God is talking to Cain and he says, sin is crouching at your door, desires to have you, but you must master it. It's the same word for like a desire to rule. And and what I tell ladies is men can lead in ungodly ways through physical dominance.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Women tend to try to dominate through manipulation.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh they they don't have the physical ability to usurp, but man, do they have the uh emotional and um um well different kind of physical ability to manipulate and get with the case?
SPEAKER_01Well, and then this harkens directly to the idea that it's culturally uh unacceptable to say um as a man, uh, you know what? I don't really, I don't really want to provide in my marriage. I like I don't I don't want to bring home the I don't want to be the breadwinner. I don't want to do all that. You
Sex Double Standards And Divorce Incentives
SPEAKER_01know what? Uh but it's totally culturally acceptable to say, I'm not gonna put out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Well, that that's uh that's an interesting okay. So this is a good take. Yeah, men are supposed to provide and protect. And what you're saying is uh women uh at some level are supposed to be coming together sexually with their husbands, and it's totally okay for husbands to say, Yes, I know that this is my responsibility, you should do this, you're supposed to knock this out and make this happen. But a man looking at his wife and saying, We should come together sexually more is is tyranny. Oh, it's of the worst kind, right? And I I ag I I agree. Like this is just it's an incongruity that is not talked about ever. No. And there is a personal nature to sex that's real. Look, again, balancing statements, rape and abuse, and all these things that we could talk about. In general, women will be in our culture today, encouraged, empowered, high-fived, and um um supported in doing all the wrong things, and we will still blame the men at the end of the day for whatever incongruities happen or whatever difficulties come from about that. Even with divorce, uh, I think it's something like 90% of divorces are instigated by women. They're filed by women. I mean, it's it's almost always the case. Men are not trying to bail on it, but we live in a culture today where the government will be your daddy, you know, the government will be your husband, he'll pay the bills for you. You can get out whenever you want. You don't need a man, I'll have this, and then he'll still have to pay me.
SPEAKER_01I mean I heard a wild statistic today uh on a podcast I was listening to, and it was um they did a study. Children that grew up in a divorced home do worse off in school than children who grew up with a parent that dies.
SPEAKER_00Jeez.
SPEAKER_01Because that's brutal. Because the death of one of your parents is not quite so um destructive to your memory of what they believed what they stood for is still there. It's still there. It's not as destructive as your parents ripping apart your entire world, yeah, your entire identity.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. This this uh this is Proverbs chapter five. It says, keep your way from her and do not go near the door of her house, or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one. Strangers will be filled with your strength and your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien. What is this? Alimony, child support, you know, like it's literally communicating, hey, uh, if you end up with a lady who is not interested in doing what the Bible is saying, man, you might as well just go ahead and take all your earning and give it to somebody else. Yeah. Just don't go that direction. And I brought it up before, there's two things in the Bible that say they're sharper than any two-edged sword.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right? Um, that is you know the Bible and the tongue of the adulterous woman. And my my wife pointed this out. I never thought about this. All right. So, all credit to my wife. She said, you know, we harp on men for sexual sin all the time. Every pulpit will have something to say to men about sexual sin, and you need to be what, you know, you gotta watch your, you gotta do that, you gotta stay away from the you gotta do okay, cool. She's like, How come all the seductress uh all the the Bible is always full of seductresses? Like, but we don't ever address the seductress. Yeah, we don't ever talk about the horror of Babylon, we don't ever talk about the Jezebel, we don't talk about that. She's out there in the world somewhere, but none of the women in this congregation would ever have a tendency for something like this. That would never be the case. She's like, You realize there was always a lady that instigated in like 90% of the situations in the Bible, there is this woman. She very much does exist and is going out of her way to get you to stumble and do something stupid. I was like, that's actually profound. You know, like, yes, tell the men to be careful, but if you never preach the opposite end of the spectrum, which is ladies, this is a tendency for you. It's not just saying, men, you need to guard your heart and be careful. Yeah, it's also a communication to the ladies that this is a tendency that you have to use your physical body to dominate men, yeah, to do that. And and I think it's it's important that we get that. The the same um picture in Eden with Eve talking to Satan first, eating the fruit first, and then giving it to the man should be a reminder to all of us, like that this is a very real sin. Like, and and I've said this before on the podcast, I'll say it again. Um, a biblical picture throughout scripture is that when um when Satan wants to destroy a man, he will often use a woman to do it. And and man, just doing this podcast, I can hear all the feedback in my head from all the different people. And like our tendency is always make the men responsible, talk about what the men should do. Do yes, amen. We're not doing that on this podcast. This podcast is trying to communicate. There are women who are having a conversation with Satan and then trying to get the men in their life to eat that fruit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it is really, really important as a man. Uh I heard Doug Wilson say this one time. I've never forgotten it because it's so. He says, if you can't stand up to your wife, you can't stand up for your wife. Yeah. And there's gonna be times where uh there are going to be women in your life, women uh that you might be married to, daughters that you have that are trying to get you to eat the same lies that Satan has fed them. And you have to not eat the fruit and help them get their stomach pumped. Like you got to get this crap out of it. Like this is killing you right now. And I there's so many, like, I wonder what would have happened if Adam didn't eat the fruit. Eve eats it and Adam doesn't. Well, the ultimate picture is Christ dies to give her her life back. Yeah. Right? And maybe, maybe that's the picture of what Adam would end up doing instead of sinning, giving his own life, you know what I mean, and God resurrect, you know, whatever it might have looked like. But um, too often I think women are hearing from Satan and eating that fruit, and then men are just going right along with it. And I think in our culture today, that's exactly what I'm saying. Not just that, but like you're not allowed to call your wife out. Yeah, no. You're not allowed to even call women out in general. If she's doing something wrong, you do a better job. Yeah, has nothing to do with her. She's always fine. More money, please. Right? Like it's that kind of mentality.
SPEAKER_01Did you see this clip recently where the Obamas were on an interview and they're talking about their next stage in in, you know, the this current coming up stage in life. Yeah. Like, if you can describe, you know, the next five years of your life in one word, what would you say? And Obama said uh something stupid or pithy, like possibility.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, and Michelle, Michelle, Michael, Michelle, Michael, yeah, whatever. She says, me. Wow. And and the interviewer is like, that's so powerful.
SPEAKER_00Mike drop, you go. Oh my gosh, yeah. Being the first lady living in the White House and basically having everything handed to you must just be a nightmare. So oppressed. Yeah. So, so very oppressed. But again, that is the curse, though. Yeah. I uh this belief that I have been wronged and I am supposed to dominate, and it's supposed to be about me, not anybody else. Let me tell you, my life isn't about me. No. My life is about Christ. My life is about pouring my life out for my family, for my wife, for the congregation that God has given me to see Christ glorified and whatever I do. That's my goal. My wife's goal, the same thing. Her goal is not about her, it's about pouring into our family, ministering to our children and to me, and making Christ known through representing the gospel in our marriage. Neither of us are getting our way, nor do we want to. Yeah. Like, you know what Satan's word is for this year? Me. Me. Like, right? Like that, but that's the mentality is this self-serving, self-saturated mentality that thinks like, it's about me, it's about what I want, I should get what I want. It's, it's uh, it's messy, man. And women are not immune and are clearly, uh, I would even say this, in a lot of ways, worse off in their sin patterns than men are in our culture today, because men at least acknowledge at some level there's some responsibility I'm supposed to be taking. I should be doing something. I think most women that I talk don't feel that way at all. They feel like, no, I'm absolutely right in everything that I'm doing, and the whole world will affirm me in this, you know what I mean? And and they're not happier for it. No. Um, but man, they'll they'll convince themselves of that.
SPEAKER_01The the listening to listening to clips of these crazy feminists that tell you how happy they are with barely not having tears in their eyes. I'm so happy. Yeah. My life, it's just it's the best it's ever been.
SPEAKER_00The only pain in my life is centralized men, and I've and like the only pain in my life is because of the patriarchy and me still feeling oppressed because of other people around me. And uh what is it? Uh Jean-Paul Sartre, right? Hell is other people. I just think that what we see in scripture is even the beginning uh talking to the serpent and eating the fruit. All right. Um, the end of the Bible is the whore of Babylon riding on the serpent's back, no longer just talking to Satan, riding his back, metaphorically, and drinking the blood of the nations. What starts out is believing lies in the end when it gives birth is full
Samson Warning And Modern Exploitation
SPEAKER_00uh blooded rebellion and the desire to destroy. In Judges 16, the story of Samson, the ultimate simp. Okay? Don't be Samson. All you listeners. Okay, just get me getting that out of the way. It says that once she took his strength, she began to afflict him. And I think about that. Like, once you give your strength away, affliction is what comes next. And I think about our culture, I think about marriages. I I've talked to a couple of different guys who've gone through like a difficult divorce. Yeah. All right. And they say this pattern, like, um I wanted to keep fighting for my marriage. I try to be kind, gracious, acknowledge my own fault, do what I need to do. This is what they want, this is what they want. And they said I had to come to grips with something about halfway through the process that my wife wasn't just frustrated at this point. She became malevolent. And I had a hard time believing that. Yeah. Because there's a side of me that wants to believe. She doesn't actually want to hurt me. She's not actually interested in destroying me. She just wants her distance and her way, you know, get to do her own thing. And he was like, I I had to come with the grips that this person no longer is not only interested in getting what I have, but is actually interested in hurting me in the process as much as they can.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think when we look at the unbridled toxic femininity of our culture today, its desire is not only to be liberated from God's good design for how things are supposed to be. Yeah, there it's to rule over, but not just rule over, but afflict.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I don't just want to rule you. I want to afflict you. I want to destroy. And we see this even in relationships. Like girl gets guy to do something he's not supposed to do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Girl dominates this, let's say, let's let's say you have a marriage. Girl dominates the man. Okay. She finally wears him down. He'll now do whatever she wants. Okay, she got her way. Now she hates him for not being the person who will lead or do what he's supposed to do and will go out of her way to afflict him and shame him for not being the person that he's supposed to be. So not only does she get her way in wearing him down and making him cower and become less than what he was in emasculation, now she has to turn and be angry that he's not what he's supposed to be, even though that she's the one who made him that way in the first place. Yeah. And then she looks for what? Strength.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I'm looking for strength in someone else now. Now I'll find another man who looks strong and who looks courageous until I can dominate him and steal his strength and then get angry at him that process. And then repeat. Yeah. And now we have like the worst form of this, which is uh, you know, like the OnlyFans nonsense. A bunch of women stealing money from idiot men who are continuing to give it to them, and they don't care about that person. In fact, I've heard a lot of these people interviewed, and they're like, it's the joy of my life taking money from men and essentially giving them nothing back. You know, like this is what I do, and I get money, but I'm like, oh, well, that's the that's the horror of Babylon. That's what that is.
SPEAKER_01That's the irony of that is they think they've given nothing back, but by exposing their nakedness without shame, they've given up their very value.
SPEAKER_00Well, obviously the value is greater than just their physical body.
SPEAKER_01But but like clearly they're just say that uh my value is my physical body, therefore I'm gonna use it. Yeah. They're they're giving up the entire value of who they are as a person.
SPEAKER_00Well, if you don't understand the value of your body, at some level you're devaluing your soul in the process because there's a deep connection there. It's not like uh they sinned and they didn't have to put clothing on. The clothing was a representation of something that was connected to their soul being displayed through their body and what they were doing. And I I want to make this clear. This podcast uh is not like a we're here to bash on women today. I think the goal today is to remind people how insidious uh lies and the idea that women are never at fault and they don't sin and not preaching about the sins of women, not addressing sin that women have, wives, daughters, whatever, and not teaching men that your goal in marriage is not just to lay your life down. All right. Um, this is always how this gets communicated. Husbands, you're supposed to die for your wife. Wives, submit to your husbands. And how this gets phrased is men, this means you be the walking mat in your home. Because that's what Jesus did for the church. He was the walking mat, and she can take all the time that she needs to figure out whatever she needs to figure out, and you just take it. Yeah. I'm like, that is not that's not no, that's not what that's not what it is communicating. Yeah. Like he's giving his life and is willing to die to accomplish what Christ has called him to accomplish in his marriage and his family, which means sometimes it's gonna feel more like dying, standing up to your wife in these situations, not physically. I'm not telling anyone on this podcast to be physical with their wife in it in an ungodly way.
SPEAKER_01Whatever balancing statement you need to feel good about this podcast, pretend we said it right now.
SPEAKER_00There you go. Great. Okay. You have to be able to lead your family, and sometimes that's gonna feel like your family is set against you because you're doing the right thing. Yeah. That's gonna feel like dying. Yeah. It's gonna be very frustrating. Your daughters, when they're growing up, women have an amazing ability to make you feel like you did something wrong when they did something wrong. They just do. I've seen this in counseling sessions again and again. You will have um women who have been like physically abusing their husbands coming in and telling you they made them do it. It's his fault that I'm being I'm like, imagine that if it was the man coming in and saying, Well, she made me hit her. Everyone would be like, You're a crazy person. I don't care how bad it gets, that's not how that goes. But if you have a woman coming in and saying, He made me do it, okay, well, he probably did. You know, it's probably his fault. No, like it's not okay. Or like there's there's a reality for men where you are called to lead your family in a way where it's I'm laying my life down for Christ, and he laid his life down for me. So I'm laying my life down to get what God wants out of my marriage, not get to so my wife gets what she wants out of this marriage. We're all submitting to Christ. Yeah, we're all living for Christ, and this is way harder. Way harder. And listen, men, your wife wants a strong, godly man who's going to lead, even though there's something in her because of the curse that wants to kick back against that. Don't cave. Yeah. Don't be a Samson because the second you give your strength away in an ungodly way, you can expect affliction next. That's what happens. It doesn't bring peace, it only brings more difficulty. And in a world today where we have Jezebel crumb cakes running around every corner, AI girlfriends, um, constant pornographic nonsense everywhere. Going to the gym today, if somebody came from the 1950s and stepped into a gym today, I think they would probably fall over and have a heart attack. Uh, there is a an acceptability with what women wear, how they act, what they do. And we have told them that they are of the utmost value, and men are always the problem. And I think the church needs to do a better job of reversing this conversation and starting to call out things for how they actually are. And uh, if we want to protect women right now, we need to protect them from themselves. Yeah. We need to protect them from the lies of the enemy, and we need to protect them from the lies of culture, the serpent itself, and keep them from eating its fruit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, and if they've eaten the fruit, you don't eat it with them. You pump their stomach, you actually go to the word, wash them in the pure water of the word, don't cave in the areas that they want to cave and continue to fight for what Christ has called you to fight for. And let's just acknowledge together there's plenty of sin in our culture today. And our job is not to lay down and just be a walking mat. Our job is to address those things and be a peacemaker, not just a peacekeeper who's passive and lets things go.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I I would know we've been going a while, but I I think it it bears at least asking.
How To Vet A Future Wife
SPEAKER_01So looking at a culture that um 90% of divorces are filed by women, the courts favor women in child custody battles, the women in like all of these things that are set against men, and you've got marriage rates falling because men are looking at that and they're hearing voices that are that are ostensibly trying to help them, but are in fact just telling them to give up and burn it all down.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What advice do we give to the young men that are trying to do this the right way in a system that's broken?
SPEAKER_00Is broken. Yeah, it's a nightmare. It's like dating in Corinth, right? Um okay, here's the things I would do. If you are a man and you're trying to figure out how am I raising daughters, how am I finding a wife, how am I dating, am I, you know, finding a godly lady in this environment, look at the fathers. Look at the dads. That's what I would do because her relationship with her dad is going to look a lot like her relationship to you if you marry her. Look at the community that they're a part of. Are they part of a solid community where there's accountability around how we're living? Or does the community that they look like, even if it's a community of faith, look a heck of a lot more like the world than biblical Christianity? And a lot of churches today look just like the world in the people that are there, what they're wearing, what they're doing, what their leisure time is, all the same stuff. But we go and we check a box on a Sunday and we we pretend. Um look at the community, look at the fathers in that home. And I would say, look how they um look at look at their, I'm trying to think of the best way to communicate this, look at their hobbies, maybe is a good way to say it. What if you're interested in a lady, how does she spend her time? How much time is online? What does her profile actually look like? Is it just plagued with the constant posts about herself and what she's doing and pictures of herself and her Instagram post is this, and she has all these guys following and all that like you can tell a lot about somebody by where they derive their value.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And if her primary value system is online or through her job, something is already off. Yeah, something is wrong. So I would say look at the dad, look at the community, and look at uh look at what she projects to the world about herself. If you are able to pay attention at least to those three things, you you will at least miss 10 or 12 branches down the stupid tree in your attempt to find a godly wife. Um good luck. Pray, because you should get married. You should. You should have kids. You should be part of a godly, vibrant community that loves the word, gets after it. Also, if you date a girl, don't ask her, uh, don't ask her, is she a Christian? Ask her what she thinks of the Bible. Don't ask her like, don't ask her, is she, does she believe in God? Ask her like, what's her favorite, what's her favorite verse, what's her favorite book of the Bible and why? Uh, because most girls will say what you want to get in a relationship with you, will not necessarily have uh an actual grasp on the things that you're talking about, and you will be stupid and tend to give her the benefit of the doubt. And I would say, don't be more selective, be picky, be thoughtful, and be very careful about um the dating process. I tell a lot of guys, hold on with your hands, not your heart. Like you, your goal is almost to not give your heart away until you know you're gonna marry this person. Yeah. Until then, I'm gonna be respectful, I'm gonna talk with you. But like if a girl sends you a text or doesn't send you a text and it wrecks your entire day, you are holding on way too tight with your heart. You need to be careful. Your heart belongs to the Lord and does not belong to another woman until you say I do. Until you're ready to say I do, you need to be very careful about how much of your heart you're giving away because you will let stuff slide and things go and things go on that you never should. And if you can't hold a boundary then, you will certainly not hold a boundary later when she is your wife and is trying to get you to eat fruit that you shouldn't eat.
SPEAKER_01Um and to kind of build onto that too, uh to your point about your heart isn't hers until you say I do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh a broken engagement is a heck of a lot less painful than a broken marriage. Amen. Say it louder. A broken engagement is a heck of a lot less painful than a broken marriage. Amen.
SPEAKER_00All right. Well, I hope this was uh helpful and um elucidating. And uh man, I am praying for all you guys out there who are trying to find a godly woman. It is hard. Yeah. I am really grateful that I'm married and have a godly wife who loves Jesus and wants to live this out in her life, uh being a godly wife and mother. Um in the world that we're in today, it's gonna be hard to find. But I also feel like it's the hope of change is families. Yeah. If you find a godly wife, man, don't be an idiot, don't screw it up and do the things that God is calling you to do so that you can allow the thriving of the generations to come.
SPEAKER_01It's almost a self-creating problem. As the birth rate drops, if the birth rate rises among Christians and godly households, yeah, you're gonna see shift in culture.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Absolutely. So, all right, guys, have an amazing week and we'll be back again next week, as long as they don't you know cancel our podcast because of the content today.
SPEAKER_01We'll still put it out somewhere.
SPEAKER_00Go with God.
