Bri Hurlburt 00:00
Hey everybody, it's Bri here with Melissa today. We are covering something I've been really looking forward to today. Holidays are coming up, and I specifically asked Melissa if she would do this with me to help me feel better equipped going into the holiday season. We titled this Holiday Humility, and I think it's perfect. We will cover some homeopathic remedies, but Melissa, do you want to give a little synopsis of what we're going to cover today?
Melissa Crenshaw 00:46
Yes. When you are on this natural healthcare journey, you're going to stand out and you're probably going to be different than a lot of people in your family. That's been the case for me for years - I've always been different, and it's not always been accepted by friends and family. We're coming up on the holidays, and those used to be the hardest times - with all the families together, sometimes I would get questioned. Right now, though, what we're going through in 2021, is the most divisive time we've ever experienced in our country and the world. I hope that you're getting together with your family for the holidays. I hope that you are not allowing a shot or a virus or politics stop you from relationships and your family because that is exactly the enemy's plan. He is loving this division. I think that's where, even though it's always been hard, it's even harder now. So with love, we want to be able to encourage you in your healthcare journey that may be different than your family and friends. As you gather together this season, I want you to go in encouraged. I want you to go in strong and faithful and have a plan for what to do and what to say.
Bri Hurlburt 02:45
I know you have dealt with this for more years than I have, and it sounds like you've gotten to a pretty good place with your family. I feel like I've really gotten to a good place with mine, too, but this journey has been 10 years for me and even longer for you. I'd like to ask a couple questions about how you've dealt with certain scenarios and see what you think about it. I did do a little bit of Bible study about how to approach these kind of situations, too. One of the scenarios I know a lot of people are dealing with, myself included in some relationships outside of my family, is the shot and differing perspectives or views on the whole pandemic. That issue is keeping people from gathering like you said. I mentioned to you before that I realized when people even ask me a question about whether I've gotten the shot or what my opinion is, I immediately take it as something more than a question. I'm thinking, "They know I haven't gotten it. They're trying to get me to say that I didn't so they can be upset with me or tell me all the reasons why I'm not considerate of other people." I would love to hear if you've experienced that or how would you would approach answering that from a place of humility rather than defensively?
Melissa Crenshaw 04:27
I have not had anybody ask me. I think everybody knows, but if I went to a family event and someone asked me, I would think, "What?! You know the answer, so why are you asking me this?" I love that we're just talking this through so that we can be prepared and not be offended. I don't want to be offended, and I don't want to go into it with offense in my heart. If someone were to bring up that conversation, my natural tendency is to listen to whatever they have to say and be truthful about what I believe. But also, it's the way you present it and the way you talk. If you're offended, it's going to come out in your words, in your face, in your body language, and that's going to get that whole ball rolling of offense and can start something huge that doesn't have to start. If you are not offended already, so you go into it with love, love and offense can't live in the same heart. It really can't. Go into it with love, remembering you love this person and this person likely loves you. If you're in a conversation or there's someone in the family who's on the other side of things and bringing this to you, it's because they love you. They want you to be healthy and they believe that you are going to die if you don't do it their way, so we have to know that people mean well. All this offense that's flying around is just not from God. I would listen intently, and respond in love. The actual words that I would say would depend on the person, how it's presented, and what happens, but it has to come from a place of love.
Bri Hurlburt 06:51
It's interesting that you say that, because I know that there are some people out there who do ask "that" question for the purpose of trying to make a point or make you feel bad, just like there are people on our side who do the same. They have this banner to wave that is not the gospel. They want to be right and want to have the best answer. But one of the things that drives me the craziest is when people assume something about me because they hear about one decision I make. They might think I live in this crunchy world and automatically put me in about this box of what they think I believe and how they expect me to behave. I can't stand when they do that, yet I have a double standard where something comes out of their mouth and I lump them with all the people who are trying to throw me under the bus or assume they have a super extreme opinion when a majority of the time that's not the case.
Melissa Crenshaw 07:54
My most recent example is when my husband and I were having a conversation about something another person sent him. It was an article or something that we don't agree with, and this person would know that. My thought immediately went to, "Well, this person is just trying to show you that they're right and you're wrong." My husband said, "That's not the way I see it. I see it as this person really loves us and does not want to see us die." I was humbled in that moment!
Bri Hurlburt 08:39
There's nothing like a good attitude correction.
Melissa Crenshaw 08:44
Yep! Just a little bit of backstory, the Lord's really been taking me through dying to myself every single day, what that looks like and how to do it. He's been giving me lots of opportunities to die to myself every single day. so that was one where I had to admit that my husband was absolutely right. This person does love us, and this person does not want to see us die.
Bri Hurlburt 09:19
We look at these scenarios, and we're so easily persuaded that everybody's the enemy. What a negative way to live! I know how I feel when I do that versus, "Thank you, God, for the opportunity to be humbled, to be corrected, and to consider someone highly." I was thinking we should share this scripture that we're kind of basing this off of. In Philippians 2:1-4, this is what we had talked about when we were thinking about this podcast. It says, "If there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, sharing the same feelings, focusing on one goal. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." I feel like that pretty deeply covers so much of what we just talked about.
Melissa Crenshaw 10:31
I just want to point out that in verse three, mine says "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit." What does yours say?
Bri Hurlburt 10:45
It says rivalry in this version, but I like selfish ambition!
Melissa Crenshaw 10:55
There are so many people, posts, things going around right now, and you can see that selfish ambition in them.
Bri Hurlburt 11:13
We easily disguise it, too. What kept coming to mind in all of these scenarios is focusing on one goal. "In humility, consider others as more important than yourselves." That does not mean to me that we do a certain thing, or get the shot or don't - it's a state of your heart more than it's a single action. I would love to see more believers respond this way, including myself. That's something I have to practice. Right! Die to ourselves. It's so hard! Yeah, I need to die to myself all the time! Now, shifting a little bit... a lot of the tension I feel with my family around the holidays is centered around food. I don't know if that's embarrassing or bad, but I think it's a thing, right?
Melissa Crenshaw 12:25
I think it's everybody.
Bri Hurlburt 12:30
I'm sure you have dealt with that because I think anybody in the "crunchy" world has. It's candy at Halloween - I get made fun of if I mention it or look for food dyes or trade it out for "better" candy. It's all of the dessert, all of the sugar, waking up and having donuts and then having snacks all through the day. And then, and I get why, my kids are starting to get crazy.
Melissa Crenshaw 13:04
Yeah, and you have to deal with that behavior and comments about it. One thing I've just thought of is I think that you have a different situation than I do, because you have to travel. You go out of town to visit your family, so you stay there for days, right? That's different than all of our families right here together. We go for a couple of hours and then we come back home. That is way different than what you have to do because for a couple of hours, letting your kids eat whatever isn't as big of a deal. I don't care if it's a rainbow confetti cake, I would never make that for my kids or buy that for my kids, but if they want to have a piece at a holiday thing, then I'm at the point now where I let them because they're not going to get it again for another year. When you have to travel and you're with family for days or weeks, that gets to be a lot. These little kids can't handle all these dyes and this sugar that they're not used to having and there are consequences. Their behavior changes, how they feel, possibly feeling sick, and then you're hurting the immune system.
Bri Hurlburt 14:50
Then, because they're so young, I feel like they get obsessed with things way more easily. If I make it forbidden, that's a big deal, so then I've tried to introduce it at home here and there. It's not like I never give it to them, but it just becomes a thing anyway. I wrestle a lot with even hosting people sometimes, too. We have people who come visit from out of town and I want to serve what they're completing,, and I don't mind that. For several days, we'll eat different so that everybody's accommodated, and we can just enjoy our time.
Melissa Crenshaw 15:38
Well, your kids are young. I'm dealing with teenagers, so that's a huge difference. I think back to when my kids were young and man, did I let that stress me out! I really did. I allowed that to really take precedence over enjoying the family time together. I knew also that they were highly impressionable, and like you said, they start going crazy over things. like I had this, this candy, or this cake, or whatever, and I want it again, and they can really get wild over that. When they're young is when you are really trying to teach them how to eat what's good and what's not. When you go and spend lots of time with family or friends and you're being made fun of for looking at ingredients, or there's just all this stuff around that you're having to constantly say no to your kids, that does get really hard. I don't know that I have an amazing answer for that other than we really just have to take that for our kids. I really don't know what else.
Bri Hurlburt 17:05
My family in particular is pretty good now, and everybody's really considerate. Honestly, I've seen a lot of shifts in my own family, not because of me, but just as their own health journey has started and moves forward. I see the things a lot of other people have to deal with when going to family events, and I just know it's a struggle probably for a lot of people listening. Not that it's not important, but maybe this is encouraging to some people - I always try to remind myself that at the end of the day, when I leave a gathering of people or people come to my home and leave, I don't want them to remember how healthy of a meal I served or how great my house is. I want them to remember that I encouraged them, or that they experienced the presence of God. To just relax a little bit and not get so defensive. A lot of people just are ignorant. I think as I've relaxed and not let it become unimportant - I have not lowered my standards all the time - I don't get so defensive, I don't expect to fight. I just do my thing and laugh it off.
Melissa Crenshaw 18:30
That's exactly what I was just gonna say - laugh it off!
Bri Hurlburt 18:39
If we don't have anything to defend, then we don't need to defend it. There's nothing there we need to be fighting for.
Melissa Crenshaw 18:47
If you really search your heart and ask God to search your heart and show you what's in there that's not from him, and he shows you this offense, you get that thing out of there! That's really what it's all about. When we're walking around offended and we're looking at people from a place of, "I'm raising my kids better than you are," that's not being Christlike. You might not say that and have those faces, but if you have that in your heart, it's gonna come out. I love what you just said about what people see when they interact with you. They're supposed to see Jesus. Are people experiencing the kingdom of God when we're around? That's what we're called to! We're called to be the light. Can we be the light if we're arguing about food or medicine or politics? I don't think we can. It's not about being quiet and not standing up for yourself and your children because there is a time and a place for that. Right now, though, we're talking about holiday gatherings with family and friends where we want to focus on those relationships. It doesn't have to be an offensive situation.
Bri Hurlburt 20:12
I have noticed too, as I try to defend or to teach or to carry that torch less, I have become a more inviting person. I feel like more people have come to me for help and for my opinions on things, because they do see it and they still notice. I have stopped thinking that the way we do things is just the best way for everybody right now. I've stopped thinking I'm just so much more enlightened than everybody around me, and instead that I'm so thankful that God has brought my family on this journey. Just like everything else in life, his journey for other people moves at a different pace and is different.
Melissa Crenshaw 21:00
Think about how we enter the presence of God. How do we enter into His courts? With praise and thanksgiving. When you lay all that stuff down, when you lay your pride down and you say, "thank you, God, that you have my family on this journey," then you are praising him. When you're thankful and you're focused on him, you don't have all this offense in your heart. You don't have all this pride in your heart that says, "I'm better than you and I'm doing it better." People are going to see that! People are attracted to light and they're going to want to come to you to know more. They're going to be more open to anything you have to say than if you're walking around offended, mad, and prideful.
Bri Hurlburt 22:03
That's so good and so encouraging. It reminds me that ultimately, like Philippians 2 said, having one goal and one purpose is the point. Ultimately, health journey advice on Earth is just a temporary fix anyway, and along with that we hopefully get to live a healthier, happier life. However, that's not the ultimate salvation. The light I want them to be attracted to in my life is the gospel. How great would it be to be able to use this as a doorway to the gospel and the way God has created things to heal us and use them that way, but with the ultimate purpose of the bigger picture of the Kingdom building.
Melissa Crenshaw 22:57
That's exactly what I have here - a Kingdom business. This practice and this business is not about me. It's not about making money. It's not about paying bills. It's all about Jesus. It's all about how many people I can reach for him. How many people can he be glorified in? He brings me exactly who he wants me to speak to. It is just being light - walking and looking like Him.
Bri Hurlburt 23:36
Well, I feel like we could talk about that for a long time. I'm loving it, and I hope this is really encouraging to everybody listening. I know we did say we were going to get to a few remedies at the end, so what comes to your mind when you think of holidays and get togethers?
Melissa Crenshaw 23:57
Let's say you know that you're getting ready to go to a family event and you have anxiety over that. There's anticipatory anxiety - you're anticipating an event and you're really worried about it. You're worried about what they're gonna say and what the conversation is going to be like. You're worried you'll mess up or if someone's going to challenge you or if it'll end terribly. You might think of the anticipatory anxiety protocol, which is Gelsemium 30c twice a day and Kali Phos 6c twice a day. You would just do that whenever this anxiety hits you. If your event is tomorrow and you're feeling anxious right now, just start it. If your event is next week and you start feeling anxious tomorrow, start it. Start the day that you start feeling anxious. Even before COVID, this season brought general anxiety on people because of all the things that we have to do and that some people have to face, including family situations. If you're having general anxiety like this, think of Ignatia 200c twice a day.
Bri Hurlburt 25:28
That would even be good for grief around the holidays.
Melissa Crenshaw 25:32
Absolutely. If you're feeling grief really ramping up in you because it's the holiday season, whether you lost somebody around the holidays or maybe you just miss that person because they're gone, Ignatia 200c twice a day. Absolutely. What else? If you're really irritated or irritable, maybe you want to carry Nux Vomica in your pocket. If you become riled up or irritated or angry because of conversations or situations, Nux Vomica 30c is what you could take.
Bri Hurlburt 26:10
You should just sprinkle that in drinks and chill everybody out. I'm kidding, that's terrible advice. Don't do that. I have used Nux Vomica before when my kids have eaten way too much junk and are in bad moods.
Melissa Crenshaw 26:28
Yes. If your kids overindulge in junk food and they're irritable, fractious, sick feeling, have headaches, or experience any kind of feeling or condition or emotion that comes on after overindulgence, especially junk food, Nux Vomica. You might think of having Nux Vomica with you in your pocket just in case.
Bri Hurlburt 26:55
I mean, let's be honest, I also overindulge. I just don't pay attention as much to what I eat compared to my kids. That's not a good idea either. I'm full of bad advice right now.
Melissa Crenshaw 27:08
Do as I say, not as I do.
Bri Hurlburt 27:11
Yes, exactly. That's pretty good, though. I feel like that covers the broad spectrum of things that you can expect to deal with. And obviously, if other acute things come up, we have lots of other podcasts and resources for those. Thank you for this conversation!
Melissa Crenshaw 27:29
Yeah, I agree. We could talk about it for a long time. Your last piece of encouragement is to go in with a clean and pure heart. Assume that people mean well and love you and try to shine the Light in the darkness.