ADHD, Authenticity, and the Black Experience

Shane Thrapp, Operations Director for the Men’s ADHD Support Group, is joined by Kristian Moton and Jonathan Greer to discuss their journeys and experiences living with ADHD as black men. They talk openly about the challenges of getting diagnosed and finding proper treatment, the stigma surrounding mental health in minority communities, learning coping strategies and advocacy, and the importance of spaces where people of color feel safe, understood, and empowered in managing their ADHD. Join us for this enlightening, honest, and insightful conversation about intersectionality and authentic self-expression.

0:00 - Introduction

7:57 - Jonathan shares his experience getting diagnosed and how it has helped him as a teacher

15:49 - Kristian discusses code-switching and shares his background as a queer black man

23:23 - The group talks about mental health stigma and getting support in the Black community

30:59 - They discuss managing relationships with ADHD authenticity

38:45 - Final thoughts on embracing oneself and advocating for minorities with ADHD

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Welcome to the Men's ADHD Support Group. I am Shane Thrapp, Operations Director for the Men's ADHD Support Group, and today I am joined by Kristian Moton, our Organization Director for the Men's ADHD Support Group, and Jonathan Greer, one of our amazing admins of our 16k wide group on Facebook. Today we are going to really start talking about the The intersectionality of experience of African American men within the ADHD community in getting diagnosed, getting treatment in the families and in our workplaces where a lot of people sometimes struggle when it comes to having their voice heard and respected. So, what I would like to do is, Mr. Greer, go ahead and introduce yourself and give us a little bit of background about who you are, what you do, and your life up till now with ADHD.

Well, I'm from Bowling Green. Originally, not that I have to go back that far, but, you know, we have a long way of getting a short story out. But I am a teacher and I've been married for 19 years. I teach 6th grade and my wife. Of 19 years, she had suggested several years ago that I get tested and I was kind of hesitant.

But about 3 years ago, I took the leap of faith and was diagnosed and since then, I have learned a lot of coping strategies. tools that have helped me greatly. One of the tools is of course, this group that has helped me grow tremendously. And I'm grateful for the things I've learned over the past three years that have helped me help other people with ADHD as well.

So Kristian, talk to us about yourself, man.

We had that podcast and video of you the other day, and it's doing pretty decent on YouTube. So for those who don't know, tell us a little bit about yourself, what you do and what your experience has been like with ADHD.

Okay. So Kristian Moton really great to meet you guys all again and be on the podcast again.

Thank you for having me. I guess, I guess you guys like me since I'm here a second time to give you guys a little bit more backstory. I'm just in my way of ADHD just through the education system work primarily as an educator for some time and after school nonprofit. Now I'm doing capacity building work for nonprofits and also being on the board for this fine support group excited about that and the work that I'm doing right now I'm also doing coaching and also doing appearances like this and conversations like this and to build awareness for Black people with ADHD.

I'm also queer, so that informs my experience and how I show up in the world as my authentic self. And I'm super stoked to have this conversation with Jonathan Greer because I feel like we get to kind of like mix and match in the conversations and spaces, but we've never really had that conversation, so I'm really happy about this opportunity.

So let's talk about the different aspects of what it's like for y'all. One of the phrases that I hear a lot when it comes to the African American and people of color experience is code switching. Kristian, what does that mean?

Loaded loaded, but what I, I think when I hear code switching, what I talk about or what I experienced is how I have to show up in spaces where not everyone is black and I have to appear to be qualified in a conversation.

This may be at work. Or in school, where I have to combat preconceived notions about blackness by overcompensating who I am to be what is deemed as proper or palatable to other people,

okay. What about you, Mr. Greer? When it comes to code switching, what is your experience with that?

What are your thoughts on that?

With code switching, I have to be, or I get the opportunity to be more mindful of my audience and I cannot use cultural references that I would use amongst people that know those cultural references. I may also be more intentional with the rate of speed in which I speak or vernacular, but the catch with that is sometimes that people have verbalized that they were surprised how well spoken I was.

I was in an interview at one point and with code switching, I used vernacular that they were accustomed to. And I did what. Was suggested and I sent a follow up email and the school said, well, not the school. The principal said, you spoke rather eloquently. And I doubt they sent that same verbiage to anyone else.

However, when it came to me. They said, you spoke rather eloquently. I don't know how, how did you expect for me to speak in an interview for a teacher? However. With code switching, I have the opportunity to be very aware of how I verbalize my thoughts, emotions, or even how I respond, because as Kristian said, it's not always palatable, whether that be code switching with not only my words, but the rate in which I speak.

And the volume, because we, as people, generally speaking, are animated people, excited people, and I get to tone it down so that it's palatable for those that are more somber at times. I think

when we talk about it, right, a lot of it is kind of like what culture is right? So, like, I think me and my mom had this thing where, like, we're not always completing our sentences, but we already, like, let the part of it be assumed.

So I don't got to say nothing. I could just you already know what it is. You already know what time it is. You know, I mean, even saying things like that, because I think so much of. Our language. So much of our language is something that we've had to create on our own and talking about our shared experiences.

I think a lot of it. It's weird because the way that we interact as people, the way we interact as black people, we don't really try to mince our words. We try to present ourselves are very open. We're very kind of accommodating. So we don't, we, we really try to communicate in a way. Okay. Where we're thinking about the other person as well, but we're also trying to elicit our experience.

I think we've been able to develop a language amongst ourselves that does that. But when we come into spaces that don't have that culture, that's that can be a little bit drawing for people who are not. Engaged in that way. And because the perception is, oh, it comes from a space of maybe historically.

Oh, it's because of a lack of education or it's because of a lack of, societal understanding, right? We kind of have to, because we're the minority culture and not the majority, we have to acquiesce to what that is. I wonder if that answered your question.

It does, it does, absolutely.

Now, this question is for you, Jonathan, but I want to talk to Kristian about this as well, because you have a different experience as a queer Black man. But, do you have to code switch within your own communities? So that you can convey what you want to say in the way that you want to say it, but in a way that they understand as well?

Yeah, it, you could call it code switching. For instance, as a teacher, there's certain things that I know teachers would understand, but also I am aware of the fact that not everybody has the educational background that I have and points of reference that I have. So, in some ways, it would be code switching just because they don't have that point of reference.

You said something earlier as well, excuse me, that I wanted to share if I can that it's not only language that we code switch, but body language and interactions. There's a difference in culture that I'm aware of that even in the gym this morning, because it's been my habit to go to the gym in the morning and today was a teacher in service day, but I went earlier.

And as I was leaving. I noticed that there was this African American or black man coming in and in our culture, generally speaking, if I see someone you recognize, I see you. I don't have to have a elongated conversation with you. But if I make eye contact with you, and I see that you are wearing this melanin, some form of communication, but I know if I see 1 of my fellow colleagues.

I don't do that with them because that's not the culture. So I'm still code switching by not doing that because they would look at me as why did you nod your head at me? Was something wrong with something in your eye? But I know if I'm going into the gym and I see a brother from another mother, whether we're close or not.

Acknowledge him. Acknowledge her. How are you? But that's code switching as well.

Like, we have this saying, like, what's understood doesn't need to be spoken, right? Right. We don't have, you know, I don't, if, if I'm in a space where it's, like, there's only one person who looks like me, we both have very, very similar experiences of dealing with people's microaggressions, dealing with people's with being othered in a situation.

So having that kind of, like, similarity or that kind of, like, Feeling we're like being seen to at least establish a space where like, Hey, I was safe here. You can be safe here. We kind of have that. I feel like being, I feel like I, I find within my own community. I find that I can, I can, I have to mask more than anything else.

I feel as though I have to seem. I can't speak as fast if I'm already not speaking fast because I'm in mixed company is the word that we're going to use, or at least the word I'm going to continue to use if I'm in mixed company, I'm not going to be saying everything, or I'm not going to be speaking as fast as I need to be speaking right or as cut as what comes naturally to me.

I will, however, and then that's even more so when I'm like having to, like, be in a space. Where I'm with people in my community where I still have to mask I still have to seem like I have it all together, or, or stuff like that, where, I guess I would say that I wouldn't speak as fast, I would have to complete most, most of my sentences I would have to.

Explain my experience and myself and I guess being weird. I think, of course, I can't if it to Jonathan's point about mannerisms. If I have to already monitor myself and my behaviors with my words, I'm definitely doing it with my body because I'm not as I'm not as animated. I'm very much hands. I'll snap.

I'll clap. I'm very loud. I'm very, very, very loud. I can't do none of that. Even on this podcast, I have to be monitoring it because, you know, if I am, you know, who I am, you know, Shane, you wouldn't have eardrums. You would, you would have no eardrums by the end of this, you know, and I, you know, those consistent considerations, those consistent moderating, right.

That's what you already have to come to the door with.

So you try kind of kind of looking at that though, you know, many black men find themselves having to mask like Kristian you were talking about that.

What is it like having to mask who you truly are when it comes to your mental health and different things like that?

You know, I feel like I wish I could give a little bit more hope to the conversation, right? But, you know, I've tried not to mask and I've tried to kind of like be my authentic self in these like, in these spaces, whether it be work or whether it be a situation with friends. I find that with my friends who are neurodivergent, I can do it, my gaming friends, I can do it, but there's some circles where I can't, and it just doesn't come off well, and it doesn't communicate who I am in the best way, so I, I, I, it, it does suck that to a certain degree I have to be inauthentic, but if I wasn't, then I wouldn't be able to articulate to Jonathan's point, you know, we're so articulate, we're so eloquent, we can give ourselves, but it's because we think so much It's Of how the other person perceives us.

If I, if I didn't do that. People wouldn't get it. And I've already done that in school. I've already tried to be my un an authentic self in school and I, I see how it didn't work. So I, and I guess I, I, I feel like I've come around to understanding the world in that way where I don't, like, I'm not always gonna be understood by everyone, and that's okay.

It is a little disappointing though but it's good to, again, it's good to be in, like, spaces like the support group and in conversations like this where I can be my whole self, which is why it's so important that you can and you need to be.

What about you, Mr. Greer? As a teacher, what is it like with you having to mask and things like that?

And how do you kind of balance that?

Honestly?

It can be very challenging. It can be challenging because, two weeks ago, I had experienced after days and days and days and days of a student, unnamed student that was extremely challenging and I didn't respond the best because they were interfering with my passion.

I'm a teacher because I want to make a lasting impression. And. In the moment after running in the morning after therapy and medication, I did, you know, speak rather passionately passionately about the student and my expectations and it just kept going and I took a few days off. I did get sick and really in real life and it was convenient but.

It gave me time to reflect and when I came back, I was thinking, Oh, the student's going to cooperate and they did not. And in that moment, I'm not going to lie. I'm learning even more at 43 to not wear the mask. It's not healthy. People implode or explode and that's not what I wanted. So I called in that moment.

I called the council like, look, I need you to get this student. And what that showed me was after I went downstairs. That I'm not all the time given the same opportunity to be vulnerable about my emotions as other people because I'm a man and even more so because I'm a black man, that I'm just supposed to internalize someone.

It wasn't even about what the student said. I could care less. I'm 43. My plate is full. I'm not trying to befriend a child. My point was you're interfering on my passion, my desire to make a lasting impact. And as a person of color, a black man, I'm not given that same opportunity to be vulnerable. So then if I implode as a black man and do self destructive behaviors, I'm ridiculed.

But if I explode, then I'm seen as the angry black man. But if I. If I do what's healthy and say, look, this is not good for me, it's unexpected because now I've gotten outside the role that's been predetermined for me, but I'm choosing not to do that anymore and I'm choosing. No, I'm choosing me. I'm choosing my mental health.

This is not good for me. And in some times. I'm getting kicked back, but I'm, I would rather get kicked back from other people. I can't control their responses. I can only control mine. And that's where I am today. And I feel better about it. And I'm, oh, well, boundaries has helped me tremendously with that.

The book boundaries, when to say yes and how to say no. It's great. I'm telling you, it's a great book. And I go to that. I can't control your perception of what I did. I can control how I'm allowing this to influence me. No, and no is a complete sentence.

I like, I like your take on it because it's like, who do I like you deal with it?

Not me. You, you deal with however you figure out. I love that. I love that take. I love that perspective. That's how that's helpful to me. for that. Thank you for sharing that.

So, that kind of comes into the next question that I wanted to talk about, boundaries. There's often a stigma around mental health in many communities, especially the Black community.

How do you navigate living in that world where mental health is such a stigma? How do you, how do you express that to people?

I have since learned to advocate for myself in really Just be authentic. Yeah. Kristian said it really be my authentic self and the authentic me is aware of even more so the importance of mental health with the increase in death by suicide, the increase of self destruction. It's made me even more aware of the importance of my mental health.

I don't take it as a light thing. A few years ago in February, I don't know why. February, but a few years ago, I experienced the lowest mentally I've ever been in life, like low, low, low. And it was a low. I never imagined I would have, and I don't like violence and I don't have a weapon. And I was so low that I sent all my passwords to my wife and I was still at work. And my students, they were like, you're okay, Mr. I'm trying to regroup. I'm trying to regroup. And. I was so low and I took the next day off and that low allowed me to have more sympathy and empathy for people that battle depression and those low moments in a way.

And now when I interact with other people, it's not from a place of, okay, think of something happy. I have more sympathy and empathy and I am even more now in 2024 and advocate for me. If that means I call the principal, call the counselor, like take this or tell even when I was having rough. Days last week.

Hey, Aunt Margaret. This is going on. I even said openly. There's no shame about it. I advocate. I have therapy on Tuesdays at 1 p. m. to the point. My mom was like, maybe I should go because I'm open about it because that was not always an option for me to address those issues that I'm confronting or the mental struggle.

So that's why I am so much Of an advocate for it because I see how I've grown in the last three years. It's made me more aware of my emotions, how I'm responding, even physically, like when the student just kept going and going and going and going in times past. In times past, I would have not paid attention, but I noticed, okay, your heart rate is going faster, Greer.

Breathe, Greer. I know you're starting to. I didn't respond as quickly as I did in times past, but I said that to say, Mental health, especially now with the climate in the land, I am an advocate for myself because I'm not going to let what other people do yell out who I am in the process. That I've experienced days like that.

So if necessary, if I have to take off work, I will take off work. If I have to call my brother from another mother, my bro, Chacho's my bro. Me goes like, Hey, this is going on. That's what I'm going to do. And I'll also continue to exercise, but I've learned that mental health is also advocating for me. I'm going to get through this moment.

I tell myself, it's just a bad moment. Not a bad day. It's just a moment. I may cry and I'm aware of there's a book called cry like a man and just learning to embrace what I'm feeling in a moment, but not allowing that moment to turn into months and an app. No, Greer, you feel what you feel that? And that's the other thing with mental health that it is perfectly okay to cry.

I will cry. I said at the piano last week playing. I need you to survive. It's a song. Yeah, I was playing it. I was like, look, I'm going to encourage myself, but in doing that, it was part of my mental health. Like, no, I am going to encourage myself and advocate for my mental health. So that's in a nutshell of why I advocate for it.

Because if I'm not going to fight for me and my mental health. Who will

Both of those songs now are in my head.

Encourage Yourself is like, that's my joint. That's my joint. Back in the day, it makes you make me think about ministry. Right? So, back in the back in the day, I had this, we had this conversation a little bit earlier, but I was telling Shane and Marc how. Like, when I was bi, like, I'm still bi, but when I was in ministry, like I told them, I was very open about my life because I was like, if we are a space that loves each other and shares about, you know, be honest, tell the truth, then let me test that.

Let me let y'all know this is what I got. This is what I'm going with. And I feel like with ADHD was a lot easier than my bisexual identity, but with ADHD, I think a lot of. Parents are easier to admit that the kids are so I always kind of like saw myself as like as soon as she came like as soon as I like said, like, hey, this is who I am.

It's like, hey, can you help my kid? Hey, can you help my kid? Hey, can you help? And I'm like, I find that I'm often when I do get to share about my story and my experience and my struggles and the victories with ADHD. I think a lot of people wind up You know, seeking that assistance and seeking that support.

And I feel as though sometimes I, and I guess this is a little bit of a hinge for me that sometimes I can be the person. And John, I wonder if this is your experience to where now I have to be the person for other people where I'm still not all the way there in my journey, or maybe all the way kind of where I need to be foundationally.

But now I have to, like. Be at service to my community. But when I when I share I've been authentic about my story since I've been like 2021 where I felt like I've done enough for other people, people pleasing and and acquiescing to other people's needs and like morphing myself into somebody I'm not.

Now I'm kind of putting myself into positions where I can understand a lot more about my experience and I share that immediately. I don't know, it's my ADHD, right? As soon as I learned something about myself, I'm like, hey, here's this cool thing I found out.

And I feel like that that's helped me where it's not like a situation where, like, I have to come out.

It's something like this is something else I learned about myself. This is another experience I learned about myself. So I think that journey and taking my community on that journey has been helpful. But if I felt like if I wasn't doing that for a really long time, and I had to do that. That might be an entry point or an entry conversation for me.

I ripped the bandaid off and told everybody all at the same time, but what I've learned now in my adulthood is, you know, Hey, how are you doing? I'm doing well. This is what I found out. This is how I'm wrestling with it. How are you doing? And that's kind of how I, that's how I've gone about things.

Can I say something else about that?

Like first in with mental health. It's helped my students with my, with my transparency. I strive to be what I wanted or what I needed. Like for instance, last year, a student, a named student, obviously he was sleep. And I'm like, you were asleep and he's shared that. Okay. They changed my medication. I'm like, you could have told me that.

And so I literally in my desk, put up my medication. I was like, do you see this? And this was like, when I first started the whole process of getting, you know, like medicated and, and I said, you could have told me. I said, when I first started getting medication. I was literally up like to 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning until they changed my dose.

So I understand how you feel. Just let me know. And the challenge, if I may, is not so much of I find myself, I talk about it more. So the challenging part is not talking about mental health and talking about it. My students have felt empowered. I had a student last year That the parents said, thank you, sir.

Thank you so much, Mr. I knew about you before I even met you that my son has autism and he has ADHD, but he looks up to you and you give him hope and so to the point where the student was sitting in my front at the front of my room and I would tell him, okay, I need to take my medication at eight o'clock.

If I forget, you remind me. And the student was like, Mr. Greer. You take it. And even though this is another year, the students like Mr. Greer, you take it. So in doing that, I've as vulnerable as it makes me, it's empowered him. And even my student from another student, he was like, Mr. Greer, can I get a hug?

Today was a rough day. Got you, son. So for me, it's more than just my mental health. As I'm getting healed and I'm getting better, I'm empowering others to know, okay, yes, this may be a additional challenge in your life. It may cause you to use timers nonstop, but it doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you have opportunities to do things in a different way to the point to where in my class, I say, everybody's different and that's, and the students say, okay, and I'll even say it again, everybody's different.

And that's. Okay. And if there's anything that pops off in the class, I'm like no, everybody's different. And that's because I want them to be empowered to know that, yes, you may think differently. You may need timers. You may need a fidget. You may need to stand up or you prefer to stand up, but that's okay.

That doesn't make you a bad person. You just do things differently. So mental health is very, very, very important and it helps you be authentic. And embrace it and be okay with it. Like, I'm good

Dang. You make 6th grade. Sound awesome. Hey,

so, so I want to kind of talk about something because ironically enough.

My 6th grade social studies teacher he was. Just absolutely amazing. His name was James L. Germany. He marched with Martin Luther King. And what I'm sitting here talking about, he would bring social studies and the American history and the different things into the classroom. He would talk viscerally about what it was like during the civil rights era.

And what it was like during those times and what it was like growing up and kind of giving us all a lot of perspective, not just as his experience as a black man in the 40s, 50s and 60s and on, but as a person who was pushing the envelope on equality and being able to talk about things like mental health and things of that nature, what do you say to people?

And what do you say to your students out there to get them to understand the importance of mental health? How do you pull that out of people? How do you make people feel comfortable enough to talk about that? And I'll start with Kristian on this one.

I'm not afraid to tell people about my story, even if it's ridiculous. So, I just had a conversation with my mom. And I think I have some prevailing theories. Interestingly enough, me and my, my relationship with my parents as an adult has gotten way, way, way, way, way better. What I find is that, like with my mother, we have like this we get to talk about anxiety a lot without actually naming it, but we talk about our anxiety and earlier today I had a conversation I got a replacement phone from my iPhone 12 because it looks a, it looks a mess in the back, right?

The whole screen is cracked. You can see. Hold on. Let me see if I can show. This is what it looks like and I've been working with this bad boy for about a couple months, paying the insurance, you know, I could do it, but navigating the website was bad. So like, you know, I just won't order it for six months.

Will I pay the insurance fee every six months for each month? Absolutely. Will I get the replacement? No. So when I finally was fed up because I almost cut my hand, I was like, let me just go ahead and order it. Let me not the UPS guy. Puts the note on my door, and none of the writing is left. So you know when the, you know, say you can find it at this location, and he like physically wrote it in.

I couldn't read that for nothing. So, my next, my very next instinct was to put all of my clothes on and run down the stairs so I can catch the bus. Before he like drives off to his next place. And I'm explaining this story to my mom and the thing that, again, going to code switching, the thing that I don't have to talk about was like the panic to not have my phone when and not know where it is, because I know for another couple of weeks, I will order it.

All I said was my ran so fast down them stairs. And then we was just both dying because we were like, and the way that I said it was this man, I couldn't read nothing on that paper. I couldn't read none of that paper. If that phone was somewhere, I wouldn't know where it's at. You know, Jeannie could have it.

Aladdin could have it. I don't know who would have it. Because whatever that man wrote, it was in script. I don't know what it was, but I ran down the stairs and I got that phone, you know, and I feel like when I have stories and I get to talk to them about that, they can kind of like see my own experience and then tell me.

You know, later that gave my mom permission to say, Hey, you know, with your sister, this is what I'm dealing with right now. And you know, you know, how could it be this way? And I feel like when you are real with your own experience, even as my nude and as silly as they are, it gives other people permission to say, Hey, this is what I'm going through.

So what I always do is I just show up. I tell them, Hey, this is how I was ridiculous today. What you got going on? And then we can, you know, we talk it out and. Really, it's all about just having those conversations. I feel like just having a conversation and just being real and just being yourself in that.

And you know, that's my mom, my dad, we talk about ADHD a lot and we talk about how, you know, we're always thinking faster than other people. So it was like, how did they not get that? You know, it's like, how did they not do that math? We might not do simple things. Like both of our kitchens are messes, right?

Everything around us looks like a tornado hit it. But like when, when people are telling us their own experience and their own story, we're talking to each other like they just don't get it. They just don't understand. But we also have like real small things that we don't do. And I think you're able to connect with people on

that level when, when, when you're just real about your shit. That's how I feel.

That's true. That's definitely true. We've seen that in the men's group, right? People sharing their experience in the men's group and then turning around other people sitting here identifying with that, and which is why this was so valuable is we want to make sure that everybody feels safe enough to talk about their struggles and their thing, the things that they go through.

And I think there's a lot of value making sure that minorities are heard because y'all are disproportionately affected. By the entire system that's out there, right? Not just because of, you know, lack of health care, which is an issue, but also because, you know, inner city schools have to depend on federal financing and federal financing is based on test scores and test scores aren't always in, you know, indicative of a child's actual ability because.

It's just not really relevant because of our neurodevelopmental delays and it's not that we're dumb It's not that people are with ADHD are you know, try it's because our brains work a certain way and on average it's two to three years behind the neurotypical child's and You know, I think that's just one of those things that we really have to acknowledge is That's why we see the lower statistics for people with ADHD being diagnosed in people of color's communities.

It's interesting that you said that. When I was diagnosed about three years ago, I immediately, I was excited after going through my mourning phase because actually I contemplated it like a year and a half before the mass shutdown. But then, of course, when that, when everything was closed, it was more challenging and when I was officially diagnosed, I posted it on Facebook and my mom, she was like, yeah, you had you was diagnosed as a child.

I'm like. I don't remember. She said, yeah, you was on medication. And then when you went away to go to your aunt, we took you off the medicine. I'm like, mom, she's like, did you struggle in school? I'm like. Yeah, I don't know what she remembered, but I had a messy backpack. How could I not struggle? My backpack had papers everywhere.

How did you not know? I didn't have the greatest of grades. I wasn't a horrible student, but it made me realize as I'm older that I wasn't privy to continued medication or medication and therapy or medication therapy and a 504, which you talked about education to where I would have. Been afforded that extended time or additional services that other people possibly would have been getting.

I didn't get so I struggled. I struggled. I it was so hard and I waited to the last minute. I still remember feeling overwhelmed in 6th grade because, you know, we wait to the last minute. And this particular year it was science and it was a science project to where you were supposed to make an atom. I remember it like yesterday.

Everybody else, they had planned days and weeks to turn their atom in. They, you know, they had used styrofoam balls and it looked all nice. I waited to the day before. I waited to the day before and I remember I did the carbon atom. Okay, I, I'm going to do carbon because it's easy. Well, in my head, it seemed easier than the process, so when I got to school with my version of what a carbon atom looked like, I looked at Becky's and, you know, I mean, I'm throwing out just random names, and I'm like,

and of course I felt horrible when I waited to the last minute to, had I been diagnosed, given medication, and learned coping strategies of how to break things up, so it just added on to my complexities of how I viewed myself because I I was one of the few people of color. I mean, here's the thing, it gets really, really layered when you're a person of color and you're on a different socioeconomic than the people in your surroundings.

So I had, okay, I have ADHD, but I didn't know it on top of the fact I'm black. And then on top of that, I'm black and I am growing up in a single parent home and I was going to an affluent. More affluent because I didn't go, I didn't live in the neighborhood. I went to the school because my grandmother was a bus driver.

So I have all these double whammies. So I wasn't like the rich black people. I was the horrible looking. Carbon atom that I'd colored with a marker. Everybody else there was spray painted and looked all nice. So when you are a person of color and you're undiagnosed or you don't have all the same resources, literally at your fingertips, you get this, you grow, you grow up and you have this skewed view of yourself and you don't realize that you're more than your diagnosis.

You're more of the symptoms of. And I, I thought that, okay, no, I was more than that. I'm so grateful that I did have. Those teachers, to your point, you talk about education, those teachers that saw me for me, I always try my best to tell her every now and then, Mrs. Gerard, you had a lasting impact on my life, you saw me for me, you allowed me to stay in for recess and type my poems.

They weren't Langston Hughes worthy, but she saw my poems and took construction paper and she put construction paper around it. And when she retired a few years ago, she took a picture of all the pages and it was from 1990 to 91 and she still had it. And today I'm so grateful because poetry is my go to.

If I'm happy, I'll write a poem. If I'm sad, I'll write a poem. If I'm like, ah, I'll write a poem. And it's teachers like that, that that's my why I want to be that type of teacher that when a student is going down the hallway and he's having one of the moments, because yes, we, as people with ADHD, we get super excited, but our lows can get real low.

Our lows can get real low if we're not careful. So if you, Mr. I want to bet I got you because I want to be what I wish someone would have done for me, especially as a man, but I'm grateful to pay it forward. And for moments like this to just, you know, Let other brothers from another mother know, Hey, look, you're not alone in it because, and even in our group, when I see people, I'm like, Hey, there's a brother and I purposely try to, but even within, goodness, we didn't talk about this, that wasn't a question, but even within the community, there's sometimes a hesitancy to greet another man because you don't want to be seen as You're encroaching upon their space.

I'm going to acknowledge you, but I got to kind of tread carefully because would you agree that that happens sometimes? That you got to, you greet people, but you try to fill out okay. Because we with ADHD, we can be a little clingy, but we don't realize we're clingy. So it's a double whammy because you can speak to somebody, but you can't speak every day.

Cause then they might think either you're clingy or you're trying to holler at them or what is it? But it's just ADHD, we find something we like and we go with it.

I found that definitely in the beginning where I feel like, I feel like when everything was like super, like, we just got started, I feel like we were all trying to be each other's friends and just have a friend group of 5000 men.

And that'd be quick that quickly became unsustainable, but I feel like what I feel like, but I feel like My ministry has always been kind of like, create the space and create the access and create the programs for people. I think I remember having one, one, like one, a couple, just one of my guys, me, Mark and John are really cool.

Shane and I Sam, can't forget about Sam. We would, we'd be playing games. And it's, I feel like I've been gunning for those, like, real one to one personal interactions. I will say that I'm not really, really great, and I'm sorry guys, I'm really not great when that, when the newcomers come in. I be like, I'm the old, I'm old school.

You know, if he was there during the pandemic, when everything was going down, we cool. But. I see your point of like education, right? Because I also was the kid in the app. My mom said, you're not going to school and you're not going to school in the Bronx. You go to school in Manhattan and you get in the same education they get.

And I'm not hearing it. They're not going to disqualify you because they're not going to disqualify you because you're uneducated. They're going to, they're going to have to tell you to your face. Because you're black, they're gonna have to because every other qualification you're gonna have. And I remember my project was like the house.

And I remember one, one girl, she had like the floor plan and she had like this little like, this Japanese house. And I remember I just had a shoe box. I colored and my grandmother, I love her. I miss her. She she, she put pennies on her wall. She had this glue that she put, she had pennies and rocks on the wall.

So I did that. It looked crazy. People didn't know what I was going for, what I was doing. But in my mind, I was like, just use your imagination. All that to say,

How much of like, I imagine how much like of that educational experience informed how you are and how you show up as an educator today, and how like that becomes your life now where you're kind of like being that person for other people and how inspiring that is.

And I just wanted to highlight that for you that like that's that really does shine through in your in your work and and and how you communicate with other people and how you present yourself and that I just want to I just from a from another person with a very similar experience. It's very, it's something that I can look up to, and I can be inspired to so I want to share that.

Thank you because I really do strive. And when you said that it made me really think about. Why the other week hurt me so emotionally. It wasn't what he said. It was you're impeding upon my effort to provide a space where students can know, Hey, I am a good student. My version of good not everybody else's version of good.

When you talked about projects, I mean, that's the great thing about ADHD in some ways, you have like. Someone can say something, you immediately go back to that moment, like the trigger memory that Shane had mentioned. When you talk about projects, I thought about the pyramid and I waited to the last minute.

I waited again to the last minute. And I was, I remember it. I was in the kitchen. And the teacher said, you can use flour and water and something else to put on the cardboard. Well, I wait to the last minute. I'm in the kitchen and I'm cutting this cardboard. I cut myself with the knife. Oh, no. So I remember that like, so when you said, I'm like, oh my goodness.

So when I'm talking to my students. Not that this is supposed to be therapy when I'm talking to my students and I'm trying to get them to break it up. I'm talking to the younger version of me like, hey, dude, don't wait to the last minute. You don't have to cut your finger in the process. If you do a little bit every day, because, you know, we think differently.

We wait to the last minute and then we get overwhelmed.

But you know, I don't want to cut you off, but like, you know how much of it is, you know, when, I don't know about you, right, but like, to a certain degree, I think after a certain amount, like, Like the homework at home was always difficult because it was like me on my own and I had to do it by myself.

And I wonder, like, I don't, I don't know how much assistance that you had, but for me to for a lot of projects, it was just me alone kind of like, figuring that out. So, a lot of the work now, especially now, when I was working with nonprofits and after school and stuff like that, you have to provide a space for these kids to do it because once they're at home, they have to do a whole nother role.

They might have to be a parent. They might have to be, they, they might have to. They might have to be a worker in some degree. They might have to do something like you don't know, especially kids in our communities that they, they, they, they put on a whole nother hat. So a lot of the work that I was doing is like, you got to make the space for them to at least.

Through the rest of class because it's a very, very different situation where those supports aren't there. I'm my mom was my mom was a single parent like when I was a teenager and I had to kind of like step up in that way. And I had to kind of like travel and kind of like take care of myself and take care of others.

So I feel like and and still have my ADHD. So I'm wondering how much I wonder how much like when we, when we're as educators like we want to do that. But like how much of it is realistic and I feel like we don't, we're not honest as a school system where we have these types of expectations on students.

And the other challenge is that in our culture is what happens at home stays at home. I couldn't necessarily, it's not that my mom did it intentionally, but yeah, I tell her, I think you're narcoleptic or you have ADHD. 1 of the 2 because my mom, she would literally, she would literally do this. All right, she would, she would come home from work and she would talk on the phone, but then she said, okay, I'm gonna take a nap.

Wake 15 minutes. 15 minutes pass, wake me up in 15 minutes. Wait, I'm like, Mama, we've been waking you up for the past hour and a half, so I can't go to school, like, hey I woke my mama up for like two hours because she's narcoleptic and she may have ADHD, I couldn't go to school until my teacher, I don't have any help because she's sleeping.

But, but that's what it was like. So it was either me do the project last minute on top of all those, the executive functioning. I mean, I realize now why I did the things that I did and he's not even asked this question, but it was just a lifesaver. Mentally to understand that I'm not in this journey alone.

I've learned to advocate for myself in moments like that for like, 19 years, right?

And three years. I'm a different version of Greer than I was three years ago, so I would internalize or get frustrated if my wife would ask, well, what do you want to watch? Well, please don't ask me because she would get on Netflix and try to go through all that. I'm like, don't do that. So I now advocate for myself.

I'm like, hey, babe, you already know. I don't like scary movies. I don't want to watch murder mystery, so I'm going to tell you what I don't like and you pick from there, like even, even yesterday was not yesterday was yesterday, whatever day it was, we was watching the color purple, the musical, but prior to that, she was going through all the stuff.

I'm like, I closed my eyes because I wasn't going to be overwhelmed by whatever we were going to pick and I'm like, you pick and just being able to do that has helped me a lot. It, and it's also been a challenge for our relationship, but it's better. Whole, whole, whole lot better now, because in the past three years, I've learned to advocate for myself in ways that I never did before.

I've learned not to be passive. I've learned. To really, like I said, advocate for me, like, Hey, this works for me. This does not work for me for my mental health. Please just pick a show for my mental health. I even going out to eat used to be a challenge for us because she would say, you never want to go anywhere new.

No, I don't want to go anywhere new. And I learned to verbalize. Babe, it's not about the place for me. For me, I just want to be where you are. I love you. We've been married for 19 years. I said, here's, here's the win win. So this is what we do. I said, babe, when you ask me, do I want to go to Cheddar's or I want to go to whatever the restaurant is?

First off, I'm feeling overwhelmed because you mentioned eight restaurants. That's overwhelming. Then I have to think, once we choose the restaurant, what do I want to eat? So here's the win win that, that we, we, this is the compromise. All right. You can try instead of her. And I just, if she goes down the list of five, six, seven, eight restaurant now, babe, babe, babe, I love you.

Beautiful. I love you. You pick. So here's our agreement. If we go somewhere new outside of Cracker Barrel and the places that I like. You pick the restaurant, you know what I like, you know I'm pescatarian, you order my food, and I'll eat it. I just wanna be where you are, baby. I just really wanna be where you are, baby.

So if you there, I'm there. You pick the restaurant, I, I pay the bill.

But just, you know, just really wanna be honest. But I mean, as a man sometimes, especially as a black man, you gotta be there. That vulnerability to say that it works, it don't work. No, it, now I'm looking like it don't work. I pay for it anyway, so let's just go.

That's why I wish people would be true to the relationship that they have, you know, instead of the, the, what their expectations of relationship is, like how we, I don't know, millennials, we got a bad man.

Cause we like, this is what man should do. And this is what the expectations are. I'm like, but you in that relationship with that person, y'all not getting likes, you know, for every day, like y'all not doing this, but like, y'all not ain't nobody subscribing to you. I was like, what is going on? And I feel like, you know, I, I had this conversation with a partner before we we broke up, but I'm like, we, I'm always like, let's have a shared language.

Let's have shared expectations. Let's have, let's have things that make sense to you. And I, you know what I mean? So I try to, I try to get to that point where it's like, Hey, this is how I show up. This is how I'm doing things. And I ain't married. You know what I mean? But what I have established is like, you know, if we can't talk to each other and understand each other and like what we need.

Yeah. We always going to get into it because I'm going to say that we can say the same thing and mean two totally different

things. So I appreciate what you shared.

I want to expand on that, and this is for both of you and I'll start with you, Kristian, because you were kind of in that conversation right there.

But when it comes to your relationships and you having ADHD and your authenticity, what has worked for you in your relationships that. you know, helps with your mental health, your physical health. What has worked in your relationships? Because we see a lot of those problems in the group where people struggle to get their partners to understand their ADHD.

What has worked for you when it came to living that authenticity and having that relationship?

I'm a guy, we gotta have stuff in common. And what's weird is that for me, my end is always going to be television. So if we can watch a show together and we can, I, I'm, I don't know how to say it. It's very chaotic.

I watch a television show with somebody and I always get to, I always get to zero in on like how they are interpreting an episode. Right? So it's like, what highlighted, what was the highlight for them? What did they walk away with? This could also be like a movie or it could be any general date, but like, What is important to them?

What do they, what do they find value in? What didn't they like? And then I can, and then from that I can share with them, like, what were, what were the things that were important to me and what did I find? And I find normally like having that, using that form of entertainment to kind of like get those perspectives.

Really educates me on like their values and hopefully educates them about my values now. I get to, I think maybe because of my hyper focus and because this is a technique that I use, it's very easy for me to kind of like see for them and kind of like, you know, cater as a partner in that way. And I, and I use that medium to as a, as a focus point.

Let me, let me see. I'll say I was watching Couples Therapy, it's a show on stars. I love that show. And One thing that we'll do is we'll talk about like every, like each partner's point of view and what we like about her. We don't. And with this one partner, we were talking and this is one character.

Her name is Molly. And we was like, for him, he's a very, he's like an astrology guys. It was like, what, what is her sign? So he actually goes online. He goes on Instagram. finds the, the person, finds their Instagram, finds everything. It was like, I, I'm not that deep. I'm not that deep. I will never find that out, that information.

But I understand that this person is like very methodical, very intentional. If you want to get information, he will get it, you know? And that's something that I taught me. And then I find out that this woman was a tourist, which is my sign. So now I now know that this person is going to be seeing me through this woman's lens.

When I tell you what she did in that show was crazy, what she did in that show was crazy, but that's been something that we get to laugh about, joke about, if we ever have something that we just get, we, we, if we get into it, it's just like you're having a Molly moment right now. I'm like, I'm not having my moment, but it establishes like I talked about before that shared language, those shared experiences.

So I feel like if you can continue to have those dates are important, have dates have have situations if you're on the journey with someone, you're going to be able to create those experiences where you can, like, pull back from if you're not having that relationship. I don't think it's like a formula, but but That's, I use television.

I use dates to kind of like get that, get that through, to get that understanding. And, and, and typically it works if, if it, if it doesn't for whatever reason the situation doesn't work out, it's probably like normally a personality issue where we don't see eye to eye or we just decide maybe it's not the best situation to go through, but.

I try to, I try to get to know the person. I try to make sure that the person knows me, but I always use those pieces as an as an example, because they'll, they'll even see it and like, hey, that reminds me a lot of Kristian or that experience and normally that character is like ADHD coded. So that that's just been the helpful piece for me.

All right, what about you, Mr. Greer been married for 19 years? How did you make it work?

Oh, we got to know. I got to know.

Well, It's still a work in progress and she's still with me. Hallelujah. And I'm a believer. So I strive to be present and make the best of each moment. I know when we've had a conversation recently, not recent recently, but learning to accept that we are different people than 19 years ago.

19 years ago, I was not as straightforward. And not straightforward in a bad way, but I was more passive. So if I didn't like something, instead of just saying, I don't like that, I would go around long about ways saying that, but I don't do that now. Now I say, I don't like that. Or she says, what was that? No, it was salty and I didn't like it.

Don't make it like that again, preferably not in a bad way. And you said date nights. Yeah, we strive to do, to go on dates or make the best of it. And at 19 years, I'm grateful that it's not about the place. It's about her. Like one day we said. Hey, let's go to Waffle House. There's a Waffle, there's a Waffle House around the corner.

And we had taken the kids to work. Like, hey babe, let's go to Waffle House. It's around the corner. They're going to be open. I like waffles. You like waffles. I've got It's a Waffle House. And it wasn't about the place. And that's one thing that has really helped. She and I. And making the best of just whatever's going on.

We watch shows together. You mentioned shows. We, we love Abbott elementary. And last night we watched two episodes and I'm like, I need to go to bed. Cause we watched. And we're like several weeks behind, or we'll just yesterday, she likes to make memories with songs. So she played a song. So I grabbed her and I danced with my wife in the kitchen.

It was just she and I and making the best of it, or just being aware of what we've expressed, what we've needed. In times past, when I would drive, she would touch my You know, right here. And she didn't for a while. And I said, Greer. Okay. She didn't initiated. She didn't initiate touch. What's stopping you?

So I reached over and grabbed her arm. I. If I see something in the store that reminds me of her, I'll get it. I'll try to be mindful of what she shares with me. And in times past, I, I was not a great listener because my brain was going so fast and I would get fixated on being defensive instead of being a listener.

And one of the successful habits, there's a book that says the seven habits of successful or highly effective people. One is seek first to understand, then be understood. So in times past, don't do this in times past, my wife, she would present when you do this, I feel like this. So I would think, okay, so we're just going to open the barn door and address everything that everybody has an issue with.

And she's like, no, that's not what you do. So here's my game changer. She doesn't like it, but I think she was, she appreciates the benefit of me doing it. So when now, when she brings her concerns, I take notes for one. I take notes because after the conversation, I love you. But if I don't actively engage in the conversation in the moment, I'll like I need to do better with not interrupting you.

I need to do better about following through with whatever the case may be. But if I take notes, it's it's kind of like my fidget. And I can refer back to, okay, so you mentioned, okay, I need to be more check. I need to check and see how you're doing check. I need to remember that you said one of our codes is, can I talk to my friend?

I'm not coming to you as my, I'm not coming to you as my husband. I'm not coming to you as my past or a colleague. I just need my friend. And

that has changed our relationship to where like for the past two weeks, I'm like, babe. I need my friend, they did this, they, I just, can I talk to my friend and there's no judgment about what I say, or, hey, look, can I talk, look, your friend needs a nap and I don't pull it all the time and I came in here in my man space and took a nap, but just learning to be really vulnerable with my wife and allowing her to express her needs, like, granted, I could have done a whole lot yesterday that would have been, well, productive, but she texts me, she's like, I need a nap.

Okay. I need an ad. Okay. And like, she put it in all caps and I was like, so I text back. I'm like, babe. Okay. Take a nap. She's like, no, I want you to come up here and take a nap too. So just really seizing those moments. Just like, I feel bad. No, babe. No. Or she was like, I need to go clean. Look, there's always going to be something to clean.

We got three kids at home, but just. Long story short, because, you know, we're in Kentucky, well, I'm in Kentucky learning to seize those moments with my wife and really cherish her and love her and make the best of it, you know, just, and it also helps my wife works at the same school. So I will purposely be mindful of those things that she says she likes.

She likes for me to kiss her on the forehead. So I'll purposely go by. Hey, babe, or even coming home. I was like, I get to talk on the podcast at 7 o'clock. Hey, you go do that. She was. And learning to encourage one another. My wife was in school. So I was, you know, bought her the Mac book. And even though I spilled water on it, you know, sometimes I don't know about us.

Okay. You know, you during vivid dreams, the way it seems like is real real. So I made the mistake of I went downstairs. And I said, okay, she's up late. Late, late doesn't work for me. So I said, okay, I'm gonna at least be in the air. And I was sitting right beside her. And I leaned back, and I put my feet on the table.

Where her MacBook was right there, and her drink was right beside it. And I'm over here. Well, in my head, in my dream, I'm playing kickball with my coworkers and I,

so my foot in my dream and I kick it in real life and it topples over on her MacBook, but I was still supportive and I got her another one. But I said that to say, just learning to support her with the same, if not more that I would want, not because I wanted in return, but because I love her and that's helped.

Cultivate our relationship to be more real. And I actually feel bad for you, not bad. I think it's more challenging with younger people on top of having ADHD and being a person of color and all the other things, because you you're growing up. Where everything is external versus internal and the ability just to look at somebody and just, Hey, what are you doing?

Or how are you holding up? Like, I literally had a, like an hour conversation with a colleague. No 1 had a phone out. It's not where it is. You even said it that. Okay. It's based upon a video. Well, even my children, they'll their commonality is look at this. Tick tock. Look at this versus Hey. I was thinking about this on the inside of me, and this is what I'm reflecting on.

It's entertainment based, and it can be, I'm doing it for the likes, or I'm doing it for the shares, or I'm doing it for the idea of love, and not love, because I, I'm not gonna lie, I like, I like shows too, and I was, I wanted a Corey and Sean friendship, if you don't know who that is. Boy Meets World. Oh! Boy Meets World.

I was like, I want a best friend like Sean in court. Or like on What is it? What is it? What is it? It's the nursing show with Scrubs! Scrubs! Ah! I love Scrubs! Oh! That's my shit! Guy love, I mean like, guy love. Eagle?

That's all I wanted. I want to jump into someone's arms and just scream Eagle. That's all I want.

See, that's so in my head that's what I thought. Like your, so I never knew how to maneuver. I never knew how to maneuver through that. And then when you talked about code switching, I thought about, okay, so I'm striving to be educated, and you talked about Shane at the beginning. Okay. Do you have to code switch amongst your own?

Well, if you're, if you are. Not that other people aren't educated, but if you code switch, see, some people choose not to code switch. I chose to code switch. So, but in also code switching, I also had a lot of friends that didn't look like me. They were more extra, extra, extra light skinned like you Shane. So then I would get, okay, so why aren't you sitting with them?

But then when I would go over, sit with them, I'm like, well, I don't have. Everything in common, so then I would have to mask with. This group and then mask with this group because I didn't know how to play dominoes. I didn't know how to play spades. And of course, I'm not going to use all the language you're using and I don't like violence.

I don't want to watch boys in the hood. Just the thought of those types of movies make my heart beat. I can't watch you. No, I cannot. I cannot watch Chicago. I, I watched one episode. I was in tears and then my heart was beating fast because all the shooting. Yeah. No, I can't. So it can be a double whammy if you will, or triple whammy when you're not in this pre determined box as a black man with ADHD and all the things that you're trying to unpack one brick at a time to be you.

I think that's. The great thing at 43, where I am, I've learned to embrace me. It's encouraging. It's empowering. It's, I'm not going to say scary. It's more, it's unknown. It's unfamiliar. It's uncomfortable to be like, Hey, Greer, you good? Like, yeah, so sorry. That was a long version of, but you wouldn't have ADHD if you didn't take the mulberry bush to get to what you were talking about.

Yeah,

all right, so we're gonna wrap it up and everything with the final, you know, thoughts as far as this is concerned. For those that are out there who are African American or people of color, what do you say to them to encourage them to be more authentic and to work ADHD?

I'll start with Kristian on that 1.

The quote is, it's, it's not our darkness that scares us the most. It's our, it's our light. And when we shut, and then it continues to go on. But when we allow our light to shine, we give others permission to do the same. And if we're able to, if we're able to let ourselves be that light, if we're able to embrace ourselves and love our true selves, we're giving other men that same permission to, you know, love up on themselves and love, love others and be an inspiration.

I came into this, I even came into this conversation a little bit dejected, but it was Jonathan who reminded me, wait, I came into this as an educator because I, I, I, I was like, damn, did this happens again? Damn, did this shit happens again? I'm not, I'm not, not, I'm not letting it happen, you know? And that's been my work up until now.

If we're not loving ourselves. If we're not loving ourselves, we're not letting our light shine. And if we're not letting our light shine, ain't nobody else going to do it. So love, love yourself. Love upon yourself. Allow yourself. If you're going to have to code switch with other people, if you're going to have to mask with other people, just make sure you ain't doing it with yourself.

RuPaul says if you, if you don't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else? And I live by that.

There you go. What about you, Mr. Greer?

I literally had a conversation last night with my nephew and he was sharing with us that he wanted to possibly change schools and I was sharing with him about and my wife as well.

She shared with him the benefits of getting diagnosed. Excuse me with ADHD. If you have the symptoms, like he was rocking back and forth, he was fidgeting and just being able to have been a forerunner, if you will, in the family of getting diagnosed as a black man and allowing him to know that it's not detrimental to you to know you have ADHD, it's actually empowering to know, then you can know what to look for.

So I asked him, okay, so what about time blindness? It was like, no, no. And I explained, okay, so what about anything that you hyper focus on and in his head, he was thinking, oh, it has to be something and then he said, like games. I was like, yeah, and he said, oh, yeah, because sometimes it's 4 o'clock in the morning.

It just, I said, and it felt like 5 minutes didn't he said. Yeah, I said, so that's hyper focus and just being able to allow him to know that it's not a bad thing to know. Now, once you find out, you know, your why that you need to do this and how you need to go about it and not feel so overwhelmed. So, if anything, yeah.

I'm glad to have gone through the process so that I can help him know that. Okay. You will go through a moment where you kind of might be in denial and you have to accept. Okay. The things I did before. This is why I did them. It wasn't that I was a bad student. It was just, I didn't have the right tools.

For the job. That's how that's one thing I'm learning. You can be the greatest handyman in the world, but if you don't have the right tools, you cannot build the bookshelf. You cannot put the card together, but with the right tools. You can do it. So my tools of therapy, I told him about therapy and medication, and just the different things that I've learned as a person.

With ADHD that happens to be a person of color and all the complexities of mental health not being talked about. So if anything, I feel like the Lorax for minorities and the Lorax of minorities with ADHD to the point to where I'll speak for us with ADHD. Like, Hey, you might want to get tested. Hey, did you take your medicine?

I share it. I talk about it. I talk about it at church. I talk about it at school. There's no surprise. I stood up in the meeting today. I didn't feel bad. There's like everybody sit down. I'm not going to sit down. If I sit down, then I might, I might go to sleep. May not. I may not get distracted, but just really learning to advocate for myself as well as others so that it's not so taboo, especially amongst us as people of color to talk about mental health and then not only talk about it.

Here's the other challenge. Okay. Talk about it and do something about it because in our community, we may say that somebody, my mama says, well, you know, they have issues. What is the issue getting to the root of naming whatever that challenge or issue is, and then providing resources if needed or telling them, Hey, check, check, check over here, check over there, try to get those resources implemented in your life.

And I just say that you have an issue, but what is it? Call it by name and then. Identify those strategies that will help you be the best you, you can be

really appreciate y'all coming on and talking about this stuff and being so open and just being honest about these things. You know, we've just really encouraged everybody out there who's listening.

If you know somebody who is going through ADHD and they're untreated, unmedicated or unsupported, please consider really reaching out to them and helping them understand the importance of mental health. Encourage them to come check out the men's ADHD support group. Check out Jonathan's podcast, check out Kristian as he kind of moves forward in this.

with the men's ADHD podcast and on his own work that he's doing. And we really encourage all of you to really start taking your mental health seriously, and really start to take ADHD seriously because this is how our brains are. This is, this is how we're born. And a lot of us need to really take it. You know, not just ourselves seriously, but realizing that it is a genetic issue as well, and that your children, and your parents, and cousins, and nephews, and uncles, may all have to deal with something similar to this.

So, be open and be loud about what you deal with. Be the Lorax of the people around you, and speak for them if they need to be heard, and listen whenever they're talking to you. I really appreciate both of y'all coming on. Thank you so much. And this is Shane Thrapp with the Men's ADHD Support Group, joined by Kristian Modin, organization director, and Mr.

Jonathan Greer. I really appreciate all the work that y'all do with us, and thank y'all again. Thank you.

It's been awesome. Thank you.

Men's ADHD Support Group

ADHD, Authenticity, and the Black Experience

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