Co-Parenting; Your Thrive Guide

Racism; A conversation with my 10 year old daughter, Part 2

February 15, 2021 Deborah Lenee Season 2 Episode 3
Co-Parenting; Your Thrive Guide
Racism; A conversation with my 10 year old daughter, Part 2
Chapters
Co-Parenting; Your Thrive Guide
Racism; A conversation with my 10 year old daughter, Part 2
Feb 15, 2021 Season 2 Episode 3
Deborah Lenee

Many parents, especially white parents may feel uncomfortable about knowing the right way to start a conversation with your children regarding race.   Before you decide to have these important conversation with your children you may want to ask yourself a few questions.
 1).  Do you know and own your own biases?

  • Let your children know and see you acknowledge and face your bias.
  • We’re less likely to pass on the biases we identify and work to overcome.
  • Give your child an example of a bias, racial or otherwise, that you hold or have held. 
  • Share with your child things you do to confront and overcome that bias.

2).  Do you celebrate diversity in your everyday life?
Many parents may be tempted to teach their children to be "color blind" or actually shy away from acknowledging differences however all of differences, skin color, genetic makeup and culture, should be celebrated, not ignored.    Do you model your belief with your words?   Do you show respect and understanding with someone that doesn’t look like you?  How diverse is your circle of friends?  When was the last time you invited a black/brown person to social event with you, out to dinner (before COVID).  How can you widen your family circle to include others that don’t look like you?
3).  How are you educating yourself on racism? 

  • Study and talk about the histories and experiences of  Black people, Asian Americans, Indigenous Peoples.
  • Make sure you understand that every racial and ethnic group includes people who believe different things and behave in different ways . There is as much diversity within racial groups as across them.

For me my education began simply by having friends outside my race, dating outside my race which then ultimately lead me to becoming even more educated on Racism by reading many books and listening to podcasts on racism and  understanding our true history.  Additionally I took several workshops with Racial Equity Institute  out of Greensboro which was literally the most enlightening workshops I have ever taken.   
4).  Are you talking about racism?
Although this is a sensitive subject, it still exists and while some forms of racism are subtle comments and or prejudice many are outright hatred and violence.  Just because you aren’t talking about it doesn’t mean its not happening.
5).  Are talking to your Co-Parent/Partner?
Co-Parents need to talk among themselves about race and racism and what their experiences have been, and what they want their relationship to be and what they want their family to be.  Talking about race and racism between co-parents is critical to raising children that know and understand race and racism,  It will go a long way in breaking the cycle of systematic racism.
Resources:
https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/anti-racism-resources-for-parents-and-kids

https://www.essence.com/entertainment/childrens-books-racism/

https://www.sceneonradio.org/seeing-white/

https://www.racialequityinstitute.com/

Antiracist Baby board book, and co-author of the Stamped: Racism, Antiracism and You for young adults, has recently appeared on a number of podcasts such as Unlocking Us  - Ibram X. Kendi 

Show Notes

Many parents, especially white parents may feel uncomfortable about knowing the right way to start a conversation with your children regarding race.   Before you decide to have these important conversation with your children you may want to ask yourself a few questions.
 1).  Do you know and own your own biases?

  • Let your children know and see you acknowledge and face your bias.
  • We’re less likely to pass on the biases we identify and work to overcome.
  • Give your child an example of a bias, racial or otherwise, that you hold or have held. 
  • Share with your child things you do to confront and overcome that bias.

2).  Do you celebrate diversity in your everyday life?
Many parents may be tempted to teach their children to be "color blind" or actually shy away from acknowledging differences however all of differences, skin color, genetic makeup and culture, should be celebrated, not ignored.    Do you model your belief with your words?   Do you show respect and understanding with someone that doesn’t look like you?  How diverse is your circle of friends?  When was the last time you invited a black/brown person to social event with you, out to dinner (before COVID).  How can you widen your family circle to include others that don’t look like you?
3).  How are you educating yourself on racism? 

  • Study and talk about the histories and experiences of  Black people, Asian Americans, Indigenous Peoples.
  • Make sure you understand that every racial and ethnic group includes people who believe different things and behave in different ways . There is as much diversity within racial groups as across them.

For me my education began simply by having friends outside my race, dating outside my race which then ultimately lead me to becoming even more educated on Racism by reading many books and listening to podcasts on racism and  understanding our true history.  Additionally I took several workshops with Racial Equity Institute  out of Greensboro which was literally the most enlightening workshops I have ever taken.   
4).  Are you talking about racism?
Although this is a sensitive subject, it still exists and while some forms of racism are subtle comments and or prejudice many are outright hatred and violence.  Just because you aren’t talking about it doesn’t mean its not happening.
5).  Are talking to your Co-Parent/Partner?
Co-Parents need to talk among themselves about race and racism and what their experiences have been, and what they want their relationship to be and what they want their family to be.  Talking about race and racism between co-parents is critical to raising children that know and understand race and racism,  It will go a long way in breaking the cycle of systematic racism.
Resources:
https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/anti-racism-resources-for-parents-and-kids

https://www.essence.com/entertainment/childrens-books-racism/

https://www.sceneonradio.org/seeing-white/

https://www.racialequityinstitute.com/

Antiracist Baby board book, and co-author of the Stamped: Racism, Antiracism and You for young adults, has recently appeared on a number of podcasts such as Unlocking Us  - Ibram X. Kendi