Top5 Ways to Find your Purpose

Today we are hunting for elephants with The Purpose Hunter, Matthew Berrafato! Joining Tara for an amazing conversation, Matthew showcases his Top5 Ways to Find Your Purpose. Tune in as he asks important questions and answers we should all a ourselves as we find our true purpose.

1. Explore your gifts
2. What are you passionate about?
3. Determine who you can serve with your gifts and your passion
4. Legacy - Who taught you your greatest lessons?
5. Try a different combination of steps 1, 2 & 3 and don’t stop trying!

The Purpose Hunter podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/53qftyrMnFdhCqPlUZlGIq?si=f3698f12d97e49c9

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-berrafato-83528113/

YouTube channel: Mattelephanthunter

Blog: Matthew Berrafato EHI One Bite Connection

Twitter: @OneBite31

Facebook: Matthew Berrafato

847-757-2467

Transcript

Tara Thurber: 0:00

Hey everyone, welcome back to Top5 brought to you by DefineTalent. We are a results driven service working with clients to connect them with quality talent, as well as working to make an impact within the recruiting industry. We talk straight about today's professional world with real world professionals, experts in recruitment, job seekers and business owners alike. Have a question for us? Send it in and you might spur our next conversation. I'm Tara Thurber, co founder and director of talent partnerships here at DefineTalent. And joining me today is Matt Berrafato. The Purpose Hunter. Hey, Matt, how are you today?

Matt Berrafato: 0:41

Tara, I am just very excited to be here today. You have no idea. So thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

Tara Thurber: 0:49

Of course. So, Matt, you're coming to us live from the Windy City. Can you start off by just providing some background for our listeners? Maybe some personal history and professional backgrounds. So we can just get to know you a little bit. But no, no worries. So yeah, I'm born and raised here in Chicago. And it's interesting because I've at heart a part of my story, which you've already talked about. And you I mean, you're going to talk about I'm sure is I'm an old hockey goalie and a lot of people I like to say that first because people go, what does that have to do with anything in life? Well, it really has a lot to do with it. But my entire professional career has been in sales, employee benefits for small to midsize corporations, believe it or not for 42 years, and got involved in coaching people. And when I started to do this, I never realized how often I was doing this my whole life and my whole journey has always been around really talking to people about what do they love to do? What are they passionate about? What are the things that they're good at? What are those kinds of things and I didn't never realize that I did that from the day I was in high school that I can remember earliest days in high school.

Matt Berrafato: 2:11

And I would always love to get into deep Yeah. conversations with people and I never realized there was such a deep connection. And that's what I love to do. So I have I've been married for 42 years. And I have three girls, we now have four grandsons. And we have one on the way so we're just really excited.

Tara Thurber: 2:31

Yay! So you shared a little bit about your history and professional background. Now. Also, what I would love for you to do is share with us why the greatest world in the job(laughs) greatest job in the world is a goalie. I'm from Canada. So I understand the importance of hockey. But a goalie?

Matt Berrafato: 2:55

Yeah, there you go. I love it. What Tara is referencing to you listeners out there is referencing I did a blog post that says the greatest job in the world and it's being a hockey goalie. And a lot of people I know we're looking go"are you nuts?!"

Tara Thurber: 3:10

(laughs)

Matt Berrafato: 3:12

I love being a goalie for many reasons, but one of the things and it's really closely tied to my purpose for being on this planet, which is really strange people sometimes look for collections and connections. I mean, and you know, as a goalie, I became a goalie because you're a hockey fan. So you know this but as a hockey fan. Goalies played the whole game, which is I said that's a cool thing.

Tara Thurber: 3:38

(laughs)

Matt Berrafato: 3:38

And I think the second best part about being a goalie was you can get a penalty and you don't have to go to the

Tara Thurber: 3:43

Yep. (laughs)

Matt Berrafato: 3:43

I remember when I was 10 years old. What a great penalty box.

Tara Thurber: 3:43

(laughs)

Matt Berrafato: 3:48

So it's a little pressure on me. But in the same deal that is, right? And of course as I started jumping into token, it's one of those things so I I've just always enjoyed being in the in that kind of a Limelight from the perspective it and I started to realize being a goalie, you know, any team that's ever done well, in any hockey endeavor, as far as certainly championship, you don't do it unless you have a goaltender that is that can I say stand on their head, a that when I know my job is to stop the puck, how do I do that? goalie that can stop people when no one else can a it's a you And how do I help my team win? And it's been a part of my leadership. A lot about my the leadership that I have brought know, similar to like a quarterback, I guess on a to the world has come from the fact that I can view the whole ice of what's happening in life. And when when they're coming in football but as a goalie, too, it's an odd thing because as a on me and my defenseman are skating backwards. They don't they don't see the whole Ice Ice the whole ice. And so being up goalie, I could be the best goalie ever and stop every shot. being a goalie is the greatest thing ever. Because, you know the other thing too is I could never imagine getting hit by a 250 pound person into these boards. There's like a wall. But if I'm on a team that doesn't score a goal, I end up

Tara Thurber: 5:11

Yeah (laughs).

Matt Berrafato: 5:12

Oh, I got to do is look at a puck coming in. And so it's coming to me 100 miles an hour who cares. But it's just a little puck like that. That's it. And I just love that. And so I love doing that's why I love being a goalie. with a tie.

Tara Thurber: 5:22

I love that so much map. So we want to dive into 2024 super strong, with intentional purpose in mind. I want to dive into your book, Purpose Hunting, Navigating your Way to a Fulfilled Life. Where did you get the idea? And what do you want readers to take away?

Matt Berrafato: 5:47

I love it. Thank you for asking that. So my first book was written 20 years ago, and my first book was called Elephant Hunting. And it was my life philosophy. And why is it elephants? White Elephant, why elephant? Wy Elephant. The philosophy is based on a metaphor thar you and I have talked about it.

Tara Thurber: 6:09

Yes (laughs).

Matt Berrafato: 6:10

How do you eat an elephant. And of course, it's one bite at a time is how you do that. So I want everybody know I'm not hurting elephants. I don't hunt elephants. I don't eat real elephants. It's a metaphor, a big project, you break into little pieces. And you do one bite at a time. So when I wrote that book, that was my life philosophy. And I wanted my daughters to have this is how I lived my life.

Tara Thurber: 6:33

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 6:33

In any big project I've ever done, I took big projects, broken little pieces, and I got them done. Okay? And as that start is that so that was 20 years ago, and my whole life has been around everything I do is like that. Well, I didn't realize that one of the most important parts of that philosophy is understanding your Cornerstone values.

Tara Thurber: 6:53

Right.

Matt Berrafato: 6:53

And it's a big part of that, which means what's

Tara Thurber: 6:54

(laughs) most important to you, in each of your life arenas? And my

Matt Berrafato: 6:57

It's really about, hey, you can change. And first book had it in a different order. It was like, Oh, I really I talked about finding purpose, but I never was direct about it. But I really went deeply on what's most important to you. So as I start to coach more and more people, I started to see that my book does my first book, and this one, but the first book, especially forces, people look in the mirror and look at themselves. Who are you? And a lot of people don't like what they see. And what I was really surprised that was a lot of people will put they'll look in the mirror like "oh, look what I see" they put my book down and they've shoving forward, they're going, you've missed the whole point of what you think the book is. the issue is how can I change to be the best version myself?

Tara Thurber: 7:46

Right.

Matt Berrafato: 7:47

So the new book is front and center about purpose hunting, find your purpose, first. If you can figure out why you're on this planet. The reason you were born, the reason the purpose for your being, you're going to stick out the work what I call hard work to figure out your Cornerstone values, what's most important to you. And I didn't realize before I wasn't, the order was backwards. So what I love about the new book is that it puts right in the front. Hey, if you don't know why on this planet, join the club, because there's a lot of people don't know why they're on this planet. And don't be afraid of that. Let's go to let's go down here. And let's figure out the way we can have an idea of Oh, what if I, if I know I'm here? Oh, great. If I don't know why I'm here, I'm not going to just give up and say oh my gosh, my life's over. No, there's a formula. And that's what I've been doing is I've been actually capturing what is that process to figure

Tara Thurber: 8:39

Right. I love it. And I love that it's come in, I that out? like the navigating. You know, the purpose hunting and just navigating your way. I mean, navigating oneself is hard. And figuring out that way is hard. So t's just, it's phenomenal to be able to sit and chat with you and learn. I mean, 20 years later, you took something you created and realized, I mean, you brought yourself into now, this new book to share with everybody have almost a little bit of a flip to say, Okay, here's your purpose. Now let's figure out how to do it.

Matt Berrafato: 9:21

Right. So here's there's actually two parts of the question or two parts of the statement.

Tara Thurber: 9:25

Right.

Matt Berrafato: 9:26

It's not just finding your purpose. Tara, it's find your purpose. And how do you live it every day?

Tara Thurber: 9:32

Yes.

Matt Berrafato: 9:32

Because that I think is the biggest challenge. The bigger challenge or the biggest challenge. Yeah, you need to find your purpose. But once you do, how do you live it every single day of your life?

Tara Thurber: 9:43

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 9:43

And I'm not saying that we're always gonna be able to live the whole thing but on a scale of one to 10. If you can do seven out of 10. That's better than two out of 10.

Tara Thurber: 9:51

Right (laughs).

Matt Berrafato: 9:53

That much I've learned and so what I love is that and you'll think about navigating I love that word navigating because it's almost like if you don't have a roadmap. And I always you know, and I use this example all the time is Alice in Wonderland. I love that story, Alice in Wonderland.

Tara Thurber: 10:10

Mmm me too.

Matt Berrafato: 10:11

And she goes, when she meets the Cheshire Cat, she's at a fork in the road, she meets the cat, you know, she meets the Cheshire Cat. And she says, The cat says, Hey, Alice, what's going on? And l says, Hey, which road should I take? And, and right away the cat goes? Well, I don't know what Alice, where are you going? And Alice says, Well, I don't know. And then the cat smiles and says, Well, I guess it doesn't matter which road you take them to get there then does it? That stripes me.

Tara Thurber: 10:40

I just got goose bumps.

Matt Berrafato: 10:43

That's what I think that happened to me too. And I said, that's the key. So if you don't know, and what's going to tell you which road to take? Well, if you don't know what's most important to you, I don't know which road you can take, and it really doesn't matter.

Tara Thurber: 10:58

Right.

Matt Berrafato: 10:58

Let's just go and how many people do you know, Tara that live life and they just let they just live life? They just I'm just going well, wouldn't it be cool if you actually knew what was most important and you decide to go that way?

Tara Thurber: 11:10

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 11:11

You know that wasn't going to be the easy way, instead of taking the easy way. Because it's a lot easier, but it's not the right way. Does that make sense?

Tara Thurber: 11:20

It makes total sense. It makes total sense. So in addition to the book, you also host the Purpose Hunter podcast. And now first of all, when do I get to be a guest?

Matt Berrafato: 11:36

Absolutely. You have a right calling an open invitation. I can't wait. Literally when we're done today, I wanted to schedule it because I think you do, you would be a great guest. Let me give you the premise of the podcast. And I guess I started to do it. Because what I knew was this. The idea behind it is I interview people, ordinary people, famous people, just people about how did you find your purpose? And when I thought about having this podcast, I said, you know, I didn't know if I was going to like it or what I wasn't sure. So after I started doing them right away, I fell in love with it. Because what I do is I just ask people very those questions that they're all going to look at you and go, Oh, not that question. I go Yeah, that's the idea. I want to ask you, how did you navigate those waters yourself? And the idea behind it is there's going to be people watching or excuse me listening to my podcast.

Tara Thurber: 12:39

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 12:39

That through our conversation with whoever I'm talking to. They may get some clues to their own purpose.

Tara Thurber: 12:50

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 12:50

And and so as I go through these interviews, I am just in awe at number one, how great conversations that I'm having with people. And I challenge them and they many times they have to pause they go. That's a good question. I'm not sure. I go, that's okay. I'm not gonna I'm you know, and I let them stew a while and I let them come out. And then I challenged them on what made what made that happen for you. What, what was the catalyst? What was the thing that happened? And usually when they have an aha moment, and you're going, that is fabulous. And you're somebody who's listening to it need to hear that could probably apply that to their own life. And that's why the podcast has been really wonderful. I just can't wait to get more and more people that will be willing to share it. You know, people think to me, they go just like you did, hey, I want to be on your podcast. Well, before you say you want to be on my cat Podcast. I'm gonna put you on the spot.

Tara Thurber: 13:46

Yeah (laughs).

Matt Berrafato: 13:48

And a lot of people don't like that. I know you do. You and I had great insights on our conversation. So thank you for that. Bringing that up.

Tara Thurber: 13:55

Yeah, no problem. So before we dive into your Top5 Ways to Find Your Purpose, I want to just throw a fun question in there and ask you, how would you describe your perfect day?

Matt Berrafato: 14:11

My perfect day? Well, my perfect day. It's usually I'm a morning person. And so a lot of times people don't I think it's a really when I coach people I really want them to really understand where are you at your best Are you in the morning an afternoon or evening person, you know, all of us have a place in the day that we are at our best. And we're sharp, we're thinking we're just there's something about it and so I love waking up before anybody else in my household. Now when they were kids, it would be different but now my kids are gone. It's just me and my wife and but I love when I can't sleep. As a matter of fact, what I love most about what I do is making other people not sleep the next state by the way.

Tara Thurber: 15:00

Yes, I've experienced that I've experienced that (laughs).

Matt Berrafato: 15:05

I'm glad that you still smiling when I say it, but I actually love doing that. So I love when I can't sleep at night, and I wake up, I don't want to just lay there and just, I just don't like that. So I'll get up, I'll find my favorite chair. In the living room, I put on my favorite brainstorming music, I have a blank sheet of paper. And I have my favorite pen, this is so important, I have my favorite pen. And I am able to sit down and I start to just let I start to let things fall out of my mind onto paper, I let it fall. And the writing process to me is something that's very unique. And it has a big part of this. So my ideal day is to start like that, that I'm able to just before anyone else gets up. And even sometimes before I even have my first cup of coffee, I've just all of a sudden got these things flowing out. And I'm and I don't like to stop. So I just like to keep it letting you know. And that's what happens is when you do it the right way. And so I love to do that. So then once I'm done with that would be to work out I really like to I'm not a big runner. I mean, I now have learned how to learn to run learned, I've learned to like running just crazy. As a hockey goalie, you don't have to run like, you know, that's one of the other things I love being a hockey goalie. But I really love you know, what I understand about these bodies we have is that they don't last forever. And if you don't take care of it. Good luck on this planet, you know, in this plant, we need that body. And again, that's part of the product deal. So I love that. And then, you know, then can I be purpose hunting? Can I have conversations like this as often as I can, helping or just talking with other people about why are they here? Yeah, pure and simple.

Tara Thurber: 16:54

Now that sounds like an amazing day.

Matt Berrafato: 16:57

Well, thank you. My family's around. It's my wife and my kids, my grandkids even better, but you know what? I'm, if I'm able to purpose hunt with them better yet.

Tara Thurber: 17:08

Wow. So wow, well, I agree with the writing and getting into I call it the flow, you start something and that's like, your perfect start to the day or where you need to be. And then before you it, it's three hours later, and you're like, Oh, great. Now let's do something else. And you know, you flow with your day. So I really love what you shared with us, Matt.

Matt Berrafato: 17:34

Thank you. Thank you.

Tara Thurber: 17:37

So now I am, what I'm waiting for are your Top5 Ways to Finding your Purpose. Please share with us. Okay,

Matt Berrafato: 17:50

So this was actually I had to think really deeply last night about because the topic of your show is your top five, when you say oh god give top five ways.

Tara Thurber: 18:01

(laughs)

Matt Berrafato: 18:03

What I'm going to do is I'm going to break it down, because I think that there are different things you can do. So I'm going to just kind of numbering them one through five doesn't mean which one goes first. But these are the top these are the top five. And the very first one is what we were just talking about a little bit, which is I want you to explore your gifts. And everybody I've ever sent it through, they look at me and they and you just didn't know the first time we ever talked about it. And they use Oh yeah, I get that and say no, you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm talking a deep, deep dive on exploring what your gifts are. And I'm saying what are the God given gifts that you have? And only you have? And you don't even have to think about these things. And they come that natural to you. And you know what every person I've ever done and I want to brainstorm with that. And I want people to identify what are the greatest gifts you have. And you might have 10, you might have 15, you might have 25 might have five, you have at least one. But I know you have many. And that's what I call the what I'm gonna say that's one of the ways because there's so many clues that are wrapped around finding your purpose in life.

Tara Thurber: 19:18

Right.

Matt Berrafato: 19:19

That are directly tied to something that. You know how many times I've talked to people and they go, and I go, I do this exercise in my workshops. And I just love brainstorming, I have a series of questions. And I just love watching the people's face as they start right and they start to smile. Every time I do that I stop and I say Why are you smiling? Whatever you wrote down, and they look at me and they go, I haven't thought about that since I was in eighth grade. And I just said why not? And they go, I don't even know.

Tara Thurber: 19:54

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 19:55

And usually everybody has things that they're so good at. So natural at and they've forgotten that taken for granted and they have not done those things. And when they're stuck with, I'm not sure what my purpose is. That's the first place I'm gonna go. So that's number one, what we're going to do. Number two, I want them to examine what are they passionate about? And again, it's one of those things where people go, Oh, well, I think I know what you're talking about, you know, what are you passionate about? I think you and I were one of the conversations I saw a was it a surfboard, or some something. It was a surfboard.

Tara Thurber: 20:35

Yup.

Matt Berrafato: 20:36

And I couldn't wait to ask you about it just so I could hear your story about it just like you were asking me about being a hockey goalie.

Tara Thurber: 20:43

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 20:44

And, again, it's a way of finding purpose. Because what people don't realize is that when you're that passionate about something, it's not an accident. It's a matter of fact, they've lived part of their life going through something that they go, you know, I love go to a like a barbecue, or maybe a party or something. And they start talking, and I'll talk to a woman or a man, and all of a sudden, they'll start talking about a guy a lot of times on when he loved to barbecue and smoke meats and do this kind of I just am intrigued with that. And I just asked question, I let him talk. And before you know what, they're gone, you know, they they're going, Am I boring you?

Tara Thurber: 21:27

(laughs)

Matt Berrafato: 21:27

And I go, boring me? You are inspiring me if. And people don't realize how inspiring they can be to other people.

Tara Thurber: 21:37

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 21:38

When they touch something they're passionate about. And a lot of times you have many passions. In my opinion, you only have one purpose. When I say one, I make the purpose.

Tara Thurber: 21:48

Right.

Matt Berrafato: 21:48

Like the purpose. Some people all you got no, no, you'll understand when you go through this process.

Tara Thurber: 21:53

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 21:54

And but many passions. So yeah, so number two is what are you passionate about? Okay. Now, any one of these by themselves would have worked by themselves, I don't know. But I know there have been many clues where you can start connecting dots.

Tara Thurber: 22:07

Absolutely.

Matt Berrafato: 22:08

But slowly, I start on that. And then number three is determine who you can serve with your gifts and your passion. So determine who you can serve. So it says there's like a question that I would ask yourself, Who can I serve? With this thing that I'm really good at, and that I'm really passionate about. And people don't realize how powerful that statement is because you're gone? You know, you and I even talked about because I know you really have skilled people. I've had never had anybody who says, Hey, I asked them what your purpose is. And they go, Well, you know what, I want to help people? And well, that's great, because I think everybody does. But if you don't define that then that's when you start to get really specific clues about your purpose, when you start to define who can you actually help? And what are those, you know, a lot of times there's people and that you may be the only one that can help someone. And if you are the only one can help someone, you're not fulfilling your purpose unless you're actually not afraid to go towards that, and really go out there off that. So number three, again, by itself isn't gonna do it. Might okay, I you know, I love I've stopped started any one of those three, and I'll go, but number four is one that's really probably one of the most powerful, and I call it legacy. And called legacy because what I want people to do is ask the question of themselves, who taught you the greatest lessons in your life? Whether they are still with us or not? So if they've passed away, that is one of the most powerful groups and then if they're still alive, great. You can make me think about someone that just died. Yeah. You think it makes me think about someone that I really loved? Or they loved me and they're not with me anymore? Yeah. Because here's my question. Why I think it's one of the greatest ways to find your purpose is, is there something that that person taught you that was not supposed to go to their grave? Oh, yeah. You just you've just grown a little bit because that's, I think that's really powerful.

Tara Thurber: 24:34

Very powerful.

Matt Berrafato: 24:35

If you don't teach someone else what they taught you. What if you were the only one that learned the lesson. And that's why I think there's a responsibility ie purpose to maybe teaching someone else what you learn, and I want to share a little story that it really ties excuse me ties that together.

Tara Thurber: 24:54

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 24:56

I love being a hockey goalie when I was in high school. My best friend was a forward, he loved being a forward. Our two passions brought us together to play on the same team in high school. Our senior year he was going in on a breakaway, got checked from behind, hit the board's head first, ended up breaking his neck. As a senior in high school. I'll never forget this. I'll never forget this, skating up to him where the coach had pulled his skates off his feet, and was pinching his toes and said, Michael, can you feel this? Michael, can you feel this? Michael, can you feel this? And he said, No. He broke his neck that night. And I have always asked this question. Why was I on the ice to watch that happen? I was the goalie watching him going in a breakaway, he hits the board, I saw him hit the ice. I come up there and find out he's a quadriplegic. I mean, we didn't know this for his whole life. And he ended up passing away 13 years ago. And I don't think the lessons he taught me about what I needed to know about people who are disabled, was supposed to go to his death to his grave. I think I'm responsible for teaching those things to other people. And that's deeply connected to my purpose. And I think everybody has a scenario like that, whether it's a mom or a dad or grandpa, whoever raised you, a friend, I don't really care, but what lessons they teach you. And then if that doesn't work, then you look at people who are still with you that they taught you lessons, and that is where you get a huge connection. Does that makes sense?

Tara Thurber: 26:49

It makes total sense. Absolutely. Makes sense.

Matt Berrafato: 26:53

And I just you know what? It leads me to number five, which is the the end all and be all on finding purpose. Try a different combination of my number one, two, and three. And don't stop trying. And people go what are you talking If you were to go and someone says I'm not about?

Tara Thurber: 27:14

(laughs) sure. Because here's here's what I know, people fall into one of three categories - one of three purpose buckets? Number one is either - I'm not sure my purpose. But no, no, I think I know my purpose. But I'm not sure. That's the number one bucket number one. bucket number two is I don't know my purpose. Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 27:37

Or bucket. Number three is, I know my purpose, but I'm not living it every day. And what I know is this, here's how you figure out your purpose. You take your number one gift, remember you brainstormed on that, what's your number one gift, your natural thing that you love to do that you're really good at? Number two, it's a three legged stool. Number two, you look at what are you passionate about?

Tara Thurber: 28:01

Tight.

Matt Berrafato: 28:01

And then number three, you look at who can I serve with your gifts and your passion. So if you take your number one gift, and you take your number one passion, and you're no one group of people you can serve, wrap a ribbon around that stool, jump in the water and start playing in that water. And if something doesn't emerge, that is your purpose then guess what you do. Okay, well, let's try this. Let's change the order up. Let's take my number three gift. And let's take my number four passion. And my number two person people I can serve, wrap a ribbon around it, jump in the water and jump in and go, Oh, well, that didn't work. And then you know, when you get to the fifth time and it didn't work at all, I guess I don't have a purpose. No, you haven't found the right combination. I don't want you to stop. So maybe it's number six, gift. And number two, passion. And number four group of people and read and start doing it. Eventually what will happen, Tara is your purpose is going to emerge from a completely unexpected place. And it's going to come and hit you right in the chest. You're going to turn your attention go. That's it. That's why I'm here. Now what do I do?

Tara Thurber: 29:07

(laughs)

Matt Berrafato: 29:10

And that's the secret to finding purpose. Don't ever quit. Don't ever stop looking at combinations. And I think good people get really they go Oh my What if it takes me a year? I don't care. It took me till I was 58 years old to figure mine out.

Tara Thurber: 29:24

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 29:25

But it's never too late. Never too late, never ever, ever too late. And when you finally get to that place where you're touching that thing called purpose. Here's the first thing that you'll feel - time completely disappears when you're doing it.

Tara Thurber: 29:44

Yes.

Matt Berrafato: 29:45

Right? And if you feel that if you actually feel that happening, and you just touch that and you go oh my gosh, and you're going - That's what I'm what I'm telling people pay attention to what you're doing. And usually people Oh, what do you mean? So that person who is the barbecue talking about barbecuing, or maybe you love surfing, or maybe you love flowers, or maybe you love cooking, or baking or something, you don't realize that energy that's flowing from you. Number one, when you're doing that, I know time is completely disappearing. Number two, you're inspiring other people with your energy. And people don't realize, because here's, I'm gonna end on this, I think that there's a responsibility for every human being, to get so excited. And get so enthusiastic about something that they are passionate about. So that whoever you're talking to can feel your emotion. I think you can feel it right now. I'm hoping your listeners can feel the emotion that comes from me when I'm purpose hunting, because it's inspiring people. And here's the thing. If I don't do that, if I don't let other people feel my passion, if you don't let people feel your passion, I think you're stealing an opportunity for that person you're talking to, to be inspired by you. That's a responsibility. I don't take that lightly. I think that people say they go, Oh, am I boring? I say boring me? No, that's your responsibility to get excited. Let people get inspired. And all of a sudden, you don't know, you may be the only one that can inspire that person. Because you let your emotions out. And they felt it.

Tara Thurber: 31:37

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 31:37

That makes sense?

Tara Thurber: 31:39

Absolutely. It's like, this magic that happens, this energetic magic to internally, but when somebody else can feel that, and the goosebumps and it's all the fields, it's not just one feeling. It's all the fields. And it's magic. It's magical, what comes of it when you can do that. And you do that.

Matt Berrafato: 32:08

When you say magical, and it's you that this is one of the reasons you and I have had so many meaningful conversations.

Tara Thurber: 32:16

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 32:17

Inspirational conversations, because we've allowed each other to be to be inspired. And when you think about what you do for you know, in your work as far as helping people get find the right job, think about that. Okay? When you really find the right job. Okay, I actually call it career one and career two, I don't know if anybody career one career to career two follow me on this career two is what you do to make a living. You're usually very good at it. You're usually bringing value to the to the marketplace in a really significant way. But you don't necessarily love it. That's career two. If you can look at me, I'm holding up to his career one is something you love to do. But you don't necessarily make a living doing it right now. Oh, wouldn't it be cool if you could meld those two worlds together and do something you love while serving a group of people using your gifts and your passions, and you hit a homerun that that magic that you just described happens? And a lot of people I don't think they put that together and they go, Oh, I'll never find that a go. No, remember my number five point don't ever stop. Put the different combinations, maybe maybe it's that number one gift, and you just got to choose. It's just that one, not not number two, but number three, passion. And then it's, it's just making one adjustment. And then when you make that one adjustment, all I've done and it gets back to my book, all I've done was I have watched my progress and what I did, I've documented my process. And all I'm doing to people showing them Don't you have to pay attention to these clues that come from each one of the things we've talked about.

Tara Thurber: 34:10

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 34:11

When you do that and you put this right combination together when you hit it, it's like that's it and that's when you go oh my gosh, and now you now you sit there and go what am I going to do now? Well, you know really what you just did was you gave birth to an elephant.

Tara Thurber: 34:25

Right (laughs).

Matt Berrafato: 34:28

You know what, Tara? Be careful because you will either you will either kill it or it will kill you if you're not organized.

Tara Thurber: 34:38

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 34:39

And that's when you get into this whole thing of oh my gosh, you know my favorite, favorite people that I love to coach to there's two different groups of people my favorite are people like my age. Okay, I'm only 39 Well okay calendar says I'm 65 but I never paid attention to that thing anyways.

Tara Thurber: 34:55

(laughs)

Matt Berrafato: 34:56

But but those that are like looking at retirement looking for work or they're about to retire. Right?

Tara Thurber: 35:01

Yeah.

Matt Berrafato: 35:02

And my favorite question when someone is either retired or about to retire, if you did not have to make money anymore, what would you do? And people are silent. And they go, Oh my gosh, and he deer in the headlights? I'm going no, that's the beautiful part is what would you do if you did not have to make money? Would you go and you know, who could you serve with your gifts and your passion? If you didn't have to make money? That would be it'd be a utopia forever. Right? Well, that's when people you know people who you ever heard someone who retires and then they die very soon after. They've studied this, you know that in your

Tara Thurber: 35:40

Yeah. world, right? They study this. And if you don't have a purpose, you don't have a bigger reason to be when you stop doing your work and you know, when you when you're done working, you know, 42 years in the insurance business I was really good at but I didn't love it. Doing this. I could do this forever. And I will do it forever. As long as God willing, God Willing that he's letting me be here and I take care of my body. Same with you say how do you because you're, you're a coach, you are touching lives, you are doing things in ways that you don't realize how important that is. Powerful. Matt, I'm, I have no words right now. I'm filled. Everything that you've just touched upon. For our audience listening, it's up to you. And you get to take those steps. And it's one step, one after the other. And keep moving forward. And, Matt, thank you so so very much for sharing your top five ways to finding your purpose. I want to make sure we share your book, I want to make sure we share your podcast for all of our listeners out there on a mission for 2024. Let's make it happen.

Matt Berrafato: 37:04

Well, thank you for having me, Tara. It's been a pleasure and I can't wait to meet anybody who's listening. Reach out to me and I'm sure you'll have a link to get a hold of me. I appreciate that. Thank you so much.

Tara Thurber: 37:17

Absolutely. We are DefinedTalent, a DefinedLogic service coming to you at Top5. Make it a great day.