Pivoting on Purpose: Finding Joy in a Life Fulfilled

Hey there, lovely listeners! 🎧 

Welcome to another heartwarming episode of the "Outlive Your Life" Podcast. This one's special—you're in for a treat! Today, I'm sitting down with Al Bogocius, the amazing guy people call "The Mayor of Senior Living" in his community. Al's got an incredible journey to share, one that took him from being a dedicated teacher and business owner to finding his true calling as a Placement Advisor at Oasis Senior Advisors.

Al spills the tea on how he's making a difference in the lives of seniors and their families every single day. But hey, it's not all about the destination—it's about the journey! Al walks us through his inspiring transition and how he's found joy and fulfillment in this next chapter of his life.
 

Now, if you're looking for some golden nuggets on sales, networking, or just life in general, Al's your man. He’s got a treasure chest of wisdom to share, and you won't want to miss it. 

So, cozy up with your favorite blanket, pour yourself some tea or coffee, and get ready to be inspired. 


Don't forget to connect and follow Al on Facebook and Instagram to keep up with his amazing work and get some daily inspiration. Trust me; you'll want to be part of his online fam! 

Ready to dive in? Hit that play button and let’s get this show on the road! 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/al.bagocius

Instagram: @albagocius

Don't forget to subscribe/follow the podcast for new release alerts and share it with others. Together, we can Inspire Change, Impact Lives, and Improve Outcomes!

Transcript

Tiffany Hill Allen 0:00

welcome to Outlive Your Life. This is Al Bo Bo. Although I say it right, I always call you Al B I know

Al Bogacious 0:09

Al B here. Here's the thing. If you think about the Mary Popping song, you'll never get my name wrong. You go Super Coloristic xp. Algo and algo. You never get, you'll never get that wrong. And that, that goes with the storyline. In 1964 when the movie Mary Poppins came out and I was starting to chase girls at an old age of 11 years old, and all my buddies who were envious of my willingness to get outta my comfort zone, uh, made fun of that name. But today it is such a different name and it, it certainly helps me get through the gatekeeper of when I make calls on companies, when they ask me to pronounce the name correctly, I just sing them the song and they say, where do you want to go when I get to go where I'm going?

Tiffany Hill Allen 0:57

You know, it's so funny you say that because. That makes you also memorable, right? Because now when people think of you, they think of Mary Poppins, they think of a song, just a guy. Well, I, I'm not the girl

Al Bogacious 1:07

That the umbrella.

Tiffany Hill Allen 1:12

It's so funny. It's like when I used to go out, I'm like, you know, what's your name? I'm like, Tiffany, like the jewelry store, you know? And so that always helped me, like when I was meeting with prospects to remember who I was. You know, I, I shined my diamond. Wow. So that is so cool. Well I just wanted thank you for, um, agreeing to come onto the Outlet Your Life podcast. I am so honored to have you cuz you are such a pillar in this particular community of Jacksonville, Florida. Oh, thank you. I think you're known as the mayor. So I'm gonna start off because I want everyone else to know how great of a guy you are that I know. And so can you tell me, um, just a little bit about who is Al. Al algo super caala algo. Cause I, I always call you Mr.

Al Bogacious 2:08

Albi lb Well, that was my, that was my, uh, name when I was a teacher in school. Um, sure. Mr. B. Mr. B. So, so is certainly fine. And, um, you wanted to know Yeah. Who the real Al is. Well, let me give you a, it's

Tiffany Hill Allen 2:29

a real al

Al Bogacious 2:31

let me give you a story. It goes back to my, to my high school years and high school teaching years. And, um, the life lesson here is, Perception is reality. Yeah. And we all wake up every day with a clean slate. We got a clean slate. So now you're asking me who I am. And the answer is all about perception. And I'm in control of that perception. And there was a, there was an event back when I was a high school teacher and you read some of the things I chose the more rocky road with the more difficult kids and the gangsters, the Latin kings, the S mm-hmm. And um, was so grateful for that experience. Cause it taught me kids who are disadvantaged don't have a safety net, but can wake up every day and live through the day and have some. Are really the smart people. They're the smart kids. They're, they are the gift of kids. Somebody who has everything handed to them in a wonderful home. In Ozzie and Harriets situation. They don't have to worry about challenging themselves, whereas these kids do. So on that line, I was entrepreneurial as a teacher. I took on, um, all kinds of extra hours night school, working with the kids, and I worked with some controllables in night school. And, you know, I may be perceived as a nice guy, but uh, I could be, uh, I can be pretty tough. And I was tough on these kids real tough because I knew the tougher I was, the better off they were going to be. So I loved them dearly and I gave them all my tough love. So one of my kids, one of my kids I had at high school, I found out in the afternoon that he was in a car accident. And I said, oh, well I'm gonna go up and see him. I'll go up and see him. So I went up to see him and see how he was doing. And one of my other students, a girl who was a candy striper in the hospital where this other student was, saw me in the room with my student. So she ran back before school, started that night and said, Hey, if you don't do Mr. B's homework, he's gonna put you in a hospital. So, so, so I never lived that down. And, you know, it's, it's, it's one of the things we can do every day because it doesn't matter who you think you are, what you think you are. What you're doing, how you're doing it, it's about how other people perceive what you're doing. Okay. And if you, if you live true to yourself and do the best you can, there's a definite reward there. So I am my own walking, talking, marketing plan, and I guess we all can do that. We got just by, just by being true to ourselves.

Tiffany Hill Allen 5:40

Yes. Okay. And being good to others, right? Yeah. Which you're known is being good to

Al Bogacious 5:46

others. Yeah. And you know, one of my, one of my advantages and disadvantages are is I'm a, I'm a very honest and honorable guy. And, and, and I'll say what I feel, I mean, not, not in a disrespectful way. Sure. Uh, but I'll, I'll be honest with my feelings. And you were relating before we got. On the record button about a guy by the name of, uh, bar Jones, who was the president of the company that I had interviewed with. And this was as I was, um, as I was transitioning from being the teacher from which I think I reached my apex and I wanted to try something new. So I applied for this business position, uh, down by Grand Central on the 22nd floor floor of the Lincoln Building. And I was sitting there talking with the president of the company, you know, the old Hollywood Skylight view of New York City, a beautiful thing. And I looked him in the eyes and I said, you know, I've been a teacher for several years and I'm in this situation with an interview with a president of the company. And I feel a little intimidated, you know, I'm just being honest. Being honest. So the guy, the president of the company gets up off his chair and he sits on the floor. And he says, now, do you feel better? You know, and that, that life lesson that that taught me is everybody is approachable. Okay. So I'm not afraid to go and talk to anybody. I mean, I've been in positions, um, all through my career, um, to, to challenge or to be challenged by, by something new. Mm-hmm. Um, in my field of printing, um, I did a project for, um, coastal shower door up off of Beach Boulevard, which, uh, we did a, um, Catalog, which incorporated augmented reality. And you may not know what that is. Augmented reality is when you can download a picture and the QR code, and when you're looking at the picture, things tend to move. So every picture of shower doors and showers, you would hear the shower and you would see the water going down. And that has an application in today's business world. And this is for your audience. If they were to Google Ikea, catalog, their catalogs or augmented reality, which means you can open up the page, take a picture of that couch, put it up to your wall, and click, and in the picture that couch. For that sofa, that chair will appear as a real piece of furniture in your room and that's very easy to do. And speaking about Tiffany Jewelers are doing that, jewelers are are doing augmented reality. Catalog so that you get a picture of a nice Tiffany bra bracelet and you click the picture on your wrist and bingo, the, the, the, um, the, the jewelry appears on your wrist. So you can see. And just imagine Dillard's having a catalog like that. So you take the picture from the catalog, you take a picture of yourself, and then you appear with that dress on. So you don't have to drag your husband like my wife does, and say, Hey, how does this look on me? And for all the husbands out there, I gotta roll for you. Okay? If you're, if you're going shopping with your wife and she's at Dills and she tries something, And she says, how does this look at that particular time? You have carte blanche to say anything you want. It's beautiful. It's terrible. Don't buy it. But once she brings it home and she puts it on in the bedroom and she says, how does this look? You have one and only one answer. And that is, honey, that looks beautiful on you there. It's okay because after they fight, been married for how long now? How long you married?

Tiffany Hill Allen 10:28

I'm sorry.

Al Bogacious 10:29

How long you been married? Uh, Carol and I have been married, it'll be 20 years next, next July, we, we had our honeymoon in Quebec, in the Charlo Wild Valley, which is a, uh, United Nations International Environmental Zone. I love geology, I love that environment. And my favorite story was kind of akin to the wizard of us. And Carol and I are walking the pathway along the St. Lawrence River, and we hear this growling. Okay, you know, I get this lions and tigers and bears. Oh my kind of feeling. And I'm looking at Carol and I say, how fast can you run? Because I'm gonna run a little bit faster and I'm gonna go home healthy. And hopefully the bear won't catch you either. And the point was, the growling was a pod of whales going up the St. Lawrence River and making their. They're mating calling. So they were growling for their mates. Oh, that makes sense. And, and we thought it was a bear. Wow. So, so, I mean, that was, that was totally enthralling to, to sense that. And, you know, I'm a nature freak. Yes. And, you know, I'm into plants. I go to, I go to Walmart and say, show me your ugliest plant that you're gonna throw out and. Buy it for pennies on a dollar. I bring it home. I've shown pictures of plants that I brought back from near death, and everybody wants me to pick up their plant and fix it for'em. That's right. So, so I'm the, I'm the plant whisperer.

Tiffany Hill Allen 12:17

Well, that is so cool. Well, let's get going about how you tripped into, uh, senior care and what was

Al Bogacious 12:25

that journey like for you? Okay. It was a, it was a multifaceted transition. Uh, my father died in 94, uh, at 61 years old. And, um, My, my mother who wasn't working. Uh, and this was the time when, uh, preexisting conditions were a negative when trying to get insurance. Yeah. My, my mother couldn't get insurance after my father's ran out. So, um, I decided to fictitiously put my mother on my company's payroll, my company, the a and i consulting group. I made her an employee, didn't pay her a salary, but I paid for her benefits. So she got benefits and shortly after my father's ran out, mine took over and within a month or two, she came down with congestive heart failure, failure and kidney cancer. And back then the old fashioned Blue Cross Blue Shield was the kind of insurance plan where if you had$3,000 of, of, uh, medicines, your copay was like 20 bucks. It was a, it was a wonderful thing. So, um, Senior care began with taking care of my mother, uh, all through the stages and the debilitation of having cancer and, uh, to the end of her life. And, um, spent a lot of money on birdseed to feed the squirrels and birds on her backyard as she sat there, pretty much hospice to the end of her life with me. So, so that was my first care recently. But going back, I did an additional comment to you earlier that my real baptism by fire was my, um, my mother's brother whose wife, and if you can imagine the typical. Italian woman as tall as she is wide, you know, kind of plump Italian woman. Well, she came down with, um, with Lou Garrick's disease, als and I took it upon myself because my uncle and I were extremely close to help him and help her in his caregiving process and to see, and she lasted 11 years with als, which is unheard of. Wow. That's unheard of. Yep. And you know, if you imagine somebody who's as wide as they are tall and then the end stages where they needed a donut on the toilet so they don't fall in. Right. I saw it all. I saw it all to the very end until she died. And that was like monumental to me. So that was an easy transition to helping my mother to her end. And when I married Carol almost 20 years ago, uh, Every vacation that we had, we wound up going to Delray Beach from Connecticut. That's where her mom and dad lived. Okay. So we go down there and there was a Seinfeld episode where I guess him and somebody else, the girl, um, had to sleep on the couch and the couch had a big metal bar underneath and it was never comfortable. Okay. It was a terrible, terrible experience. But the point being is that we spent every vacation helping her mom and dad. Gotcha. And when her mom and dad reached 85 to particular, uh, situations in their health really manifested And, uh, one my father-in-law's, um, Eyes were really having a tough time. He had macular degeneration, a couple of offender benders, making a left turn and lost his license. And my mother-in-law had neuropathy where she couldn't walk. And so Carol and I decided, and then, uh, we both were on the same page on this to move from Connecticut to Jacksonville where her brother lived, and, um, and bring her parents up to North Florida, for which, you know, people down in the South Florida think Jacksonville's part of South Georgia. Right. And it's not, it's a, it's a beautiful place. We love it, all that stuff. We got him up, we, we got him over to the cove and the, and the river garden arena and, um, really helped him. And I think. Because of that, we gave them nine and a half more years of, of, um, of life. Uh, just as a kind of caveat from my perception, the healthcare for seniors down in South Florida is more commoditized because there's so many seniors down there, you're not getting the kind of care that you might get up here. And that was our reason for, for, um, for, uh, moving them up there. So I was baptized by fire. What a great app. What a great apprenticeship for senior care. You know, actually getting your nails dirty. Mm-hmm. Helping, helping seniors. And, um, my, my business over the years was printing and packaging, which as you know, the world has become digitized and printing has lost. A lot of revenue. And so my, my revenues were really becoming compressed. And, uh, so I needed to make a change and I, I became a, uh, director of care of a home care agency, which was a startup and, uh, at that one belly up. And then I went into, um, publishing with, uh, seniors, with our seniors guide, and then made the transition to, um, Oasis Senior Advisors working with Dave Steiglitz. And Dave and I are good friends. Uh, the beauty of our friendship is that opposites attract. Okay. He's, he's, he's, he's the gentleman of the place, you know, he's the. He's very gentile and I'm the little bull in the giant in the China shop. I don't break any China, but I do make a lot of noise. And so we, we, we both bounce off each other and I think we do a good job for the community. So, so tell

Tiffany Hill Allen 19:09

me exactly what is Oasis?

Al Bogacious 19:11

Okay. Oasis Senior Advisors, and it's a, it's a interesting company. It was started by a guy by the name of Tim iic who started a maid service and um, or a cleaning service. And he sold, he sold that and morphed into this business. So it's a franchise company, 85 different locations nationwide. Mm-hmm. And the business model is that you have the franchisees meeting up with seniors and their families mm-hmm. And they help. Find the right senior community. And the differential with Oasis is that we have a proprietary software program that interfaces all of the senior communities we have a contract for. And we put in the data, the information, the financial information of the senior, and those two components get interfaced and outcomes, a matchmaking service of the communities that would fit the profile of the senior as well as their affordability, uh, for that particular community. And then the Oasis franchisees and their employees and 10 90 nines. I'm a 10 99 to Dave. Uh, we get a finder's fee from the community, um, for finding them a new resident. Okay. It's like real estate. Sure. Just like, just like real estate. Mm-hmm. Um, I knew, I knew early on that I had a passion for this business. So I decided in my, in my head that my business model would be anybody who's, who calls me asking for help. My answer would always be, yes, yes. Whatever it was. Whatever it was. Yes, yes. And then I would circle back and find the resources. It may not necessarily be senior placement, it may be home care, VA benefits, anything that could help the senior in what's happening now. And I really dug deep in that business model during Covid 19, March and April because nobody was out looking for places. Nobody was, uh, meeting each other, but everybody was calling, right? So, yes, I, I learned all the ancillary services that are out there strictly by, Looking for the answers. So I'm the go-to guy, I'm the go-to guy for seniors, and I think I've earned that badge only because I've dug deep and hard and got to know what's out there and I'm getting calls all the time. Yeah, and

Tiffany Hill Allen 22:04

that's important, right? Because I think, um, even working in a community, I am my first, my first community that I worked with or a company, we had a, a, I don't know, a tenant, a motto of a value proposition that said, you know, safely somewhere, no matter who calls you your job was to make sure they were safe wherever they decided to go. And I think it goes along with what your values are talking about is really knowing Yep. You know, where and all the different things that can help a family because at the end of the day, um, while it may not be a direct. Impact to your particular business, it impacts your business directly. Meaning this is that people will say, go to, go to Al right. Or go to Tiffany, or whatever. And that's why it's so important, I think, for, um, people who are in the industry to know about other people and other services as an, the industry that can help families, because it can be a little bit, um, like navigating through a maze sometimes for families. Mm-hmm.

Al Bogacious 23:10

Yep. And, and going back to business, you know, not to paste the Pollyanna label on me, but I I, I certainly believe this thesis, no matter who you help and you know what income level they are, and let's say they're. Low income level, and they're not going to net you any monetization for your efforts. I truly believe that everybody has a rich uncle or aunt. Mm-hmm. That they have somebody who has money. And when those people who have money know that you help one of their relatives, they're going to put you in their inner circle at their time of need. Sure. And that has happened over and over and over again. And I've, I've done that particular thesis all through my business life. And one in particular that hits home is, uh, dreams Come True here in Jacksonville, had a printer that was providing their collaterals for free because, you know, they were making their numbers and they had some extra income. And then they were told, and this goes back to the Karen Mathis Times of, uh, dreams come true. They were told, Hey, we can't do this anymore. We don't have any extra money. Okay. And Karen and I were friends. We've had coffee together and all that stuff. She's now with the, um, with, uh, with, uh, Jack's, Jack's record, which is that, um, which is that, uh, business magazine. Mm-hmm. Um, I said, I said, what do you need? What colors do you need? And I'll figure out a way to help you. When I was working with a huge printing company up in Buffalo, New York. So I figured out what, what colors they needed and hooked up with my production manager at the plant and figured out what day, what time they were gonna be running those colors with another order. And I got free press time to run their job using. The stock that was allocated for overrun for that particular customer. Cause they were running like 150,000 of something and then all they needed was 2000. So that was in the, that was in the parameters of an overrun. So it really cost them almost nothing to print their stuff. Okay. And that's speaking outside the box and for your, absolutely. For your audience. I would say this, don't underestimate the power of helping a nonprofit because a nonprofit survives by a good board of directors who have deep pockets. So if you're helping that nonprofit and the people who are boards of directors or board directors see that, and if they have a. Similar need for their company or their organization. They're gonna be thinking of you because of how you care. And that goes back to what I always say, nobody care. Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

Tiffany Hill Allen 26:31

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I think about one of my sales managers that I had privilege of working with, um, and a part of her marketing plan was to do an event to raise money for a nonprofit in her area every single month. And that's good. It people, people, um, gravitate because people want to help. And so people, it, it drew people to her community. It drew the community to have. Um, you know, awareness within the larger community. And, and, and she did all through Facebook too. And so it just drove shares and light, you know what I mean? And so it mm-hmm. Really drove her, her traffic, but it was also her heart because she also had a nonprofit, um, which helped bloodhound to find missing people. Right. And that's, well, was her passion, right? But she just working in a nonprofit, targeted nonprofits as a part of her marketing plan, and it, it really went very, very well, well for her. So yeah, that's a, an absolutely golden piece of nugget right there. So.

Al Bogacious 27:34

Yep. Yep. And you know, I, I need to talk about you for a minute because, um, nobody knows this. Nobody knows this, but when I first met you at the Patient Care Council of the Orange Park Medical Center, and you got up there, it was like, Holy, holy mackerel. This one's a superstar. And just the way, oh, he's so sweet. You know, you know, you can tell, you can tell the ones that are drinking the Kool-Aid and the ones that are for real. Okay. And you were for real. And I, and thank you. Everybody has an aura. Okay? And if you really connect with yours, with your, with yourself, and you're really sensitive about things, you can look at somebody and you can see their aura. And I saw your aura and it was a good thing. It was a good thing. Thank you. You know, there's a, there's a term for people like you. Oh

Tiffany Hill Allen 28:33

my God, you got errors. Me?

Al Bogacious 28:36

Yeah. I mean, you could say people are go-getters and rah rah, but I like the term go-giver. Okay? You're out there, you're very aggressive about making things happen, but in the vein of making things happen, you are constantly giving. And if I had to sum up your legacy from all the years that I've known you, that's what I would call you. If, if I'm the mayor and I'm the connector, you are the go-giver. And just by doing all the things that you're doing now, you're go giving back and you're giving hope to people in the senior business that there's a way to do things better. There's a, there's a way of making a difference in seniors lives that will also make your life better by being more productive on a daily basis and everything else. So that's my pitch to you. Thank you. Is that hook up with Tiffany? Yep. That

Tiffany Hill Allen 29:42

mean so much to me. Oh my gosh. I'm like, okay, yeah, cut it down. Thank you so much. You never know how, and that's, I think that's important even for my team, is you never know how you're going to impact other people. Yes. And so it's so important to connect with people on a to-one level, even if you're at whether a referral, networking events. Oops. Um, or with a family, even those who contact you through their, um, you know, automated, right? Mm-hmm. Automation. Mm-hmm. Through the lead bank. What should we call a lead bank? Right? But there's still ways that you could connect with those people. They reached out to you for a reason, and is your obligation and your duty to reach back out to them on a continual basis. They may be in a place in their life where they can't absorb or think about what's happening to them in real time. And that's where nurturing is so important. How do you, um, How do you nurture your clients when they're reaching out to you but not ready to make a decision? How do you do go about in doing that?

Al Bogacious 30:46

Okay. Um, let me, let me give you a little psychology and, and, and write this down for a minute. Have your phone, let me have your phone. Um, everybody, I don't care what age they are, and this could be a question to you. Everybody has a mental age, a mental image of how old they really are. Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. I'm 67. Do you think? I wake up every day and I'm 67. No, hell no. Ok. No. Simple as that. And having a great relationship with my, with my mom and my dad, and. Carol's mom and dad, especially Carol's mom and dad because we were in their face almost every day. Mm-hmm. I know for her fa fact that Carol's dad was still cranking up the country music, driving that, uh, grocery truck down the highway and singing along. At 94 years old, he was still doing that. That was his mental image of who he was. Mm-hmm. Her mother was the queen of the ball. Okay. She never took off her crown. She was still the queen of the ball. Okay. Al is still that 17 year old guy who's still in. He's still enthralled and just. Eyes wide open about the world around him. Okay. And I guess that'll stop when they finally put the paste on my eyes and call it a day. Okay, so everybody, and you too. You gotta, you gotta answer that question to yourself. So how do you connect with the seniors? You connect with who they think they are inside themselves? Mm-hmm. Okay. Some people, some seniors you talk to and you're, you're talking stuff going back to 19 47, 19 62, and me being a history buff and still remembering all the A M C and MeTV TV shows, I know all the lingo and I could talk to them and they feel so connected with me cuz I'm talking their language. So talk their language, find out where they are in their head, how old they really are. Because what you see on their paperwork, what age they are, isn't how old they are. No.

Tiffany Hill Allen 33:32

Okay. Yeah, you're absolutely right. That's the, how many times have we had people that come in and says, I'm not like these people

Al Bogacious 33:38

here. Every person I bring into the senior community always says, what up? What's, what's this? All these old people, I don't belong here. Yeah, yeah. Right. They all say that and then they, they internally absorb that and find that it's a, it's a wonderful place and you and I know that one of the best sales techniques is something called the puppy doll close. So you, you go and you invite a senior to a senior community, have lunch with some of the seniors. You stack the deck with the ambassadors that are there as a resident, and they get the sense what they would be missing. If they didn't come here. Right. Okay. And, and that's a good thing. And, and that's all about getting out of their comfort zone. Right. Okay. We, as we as the purveyors of senior living, helping seniors have to get out of our own comfort zone. Yeah. And absolutely. One of the, one of the really good questions you asked me to think about is how does senior living compare pre COVID 19 and where we are today? Mm-hmm. And dramatically the answer is, we went into this senior profession because we. Like to connect, touch, hug, help seniors, and when, when we are placed in a situation where we have to social distance and not see, and, and, you know, wear uncomfortable protection Oh. It just, it just damages our psyche. Yeah. So, so I would say to to every senior living community, everybody who, who, who has, who works with seniors, get together form a meetup and just talk about your feelings, because we're all going through the same thing. Mm-hmm. And when you don't take care of yourself, you're not gonna be good for the senior and too often. People ignore that and it's like pumping a well that's dry. Yes. And that's why people get short tempered. They don't carry through with helping the senior, the seniors feel that, hey, the best communication you could give is the one on how you make people feel. Sure. And if, you know, the senior providers has the wall, they have the point of frustration about what's going on with Covid 19. That purveys back into the mind of the senior. Sure. You know, and that's so upsetting to them. Right. Get outta your comfort zone. Put the smiley face. Yes. You know, go to the clown store and put a mask on. Whatever you need to do. Whatever you need to do. Put a smiley face on. Yeah, you're

Tiffany Hill Allen 36:46

right. I mean, there was a quote that I did, um, and I, I did a video on it. Said, if your compassion does not include yourself, then your com then it is com incomplete. So if you don't take care of yourself, it's not gonna be complete enough to take care of others. Right? Right. And so you have to include yourself in, in that compassion. And, and there's so many different ways of interpreting that quote and how to execute on it. But that was one of the things that I just wanted to send out to all the very, very super compassionate people who's taking care of people, but they are still wearing themselves so thin that you're right. Then there's exasperation, there's all of these other things. There's depression, there's, you know, feeling like there's no hope, but, you know, and then that relates then to the person you're taking care of because now they're feeling it. Right. And so we have to, um, be innovative in how we're reaching out. How we're connecting. And there's so many great people I see out there who are doing some really out of the box thinking when it comes to, um, really putting that smile on the faces mm-hmm. Of, of, um, their residents.

Al Bogacious 37:57

That is, that is so true. And you know, I, I gotta say this too. The, the spouses and the children of senior providers really have to hone up on their sensitivity to their loved ones out there working every day. I mean, it's, it's, it's totally different than any other kind of job. Yeah. It's, it's, it's wearing and when, when you come home, somebody ought to put some flowers on the table for you or do something nice. Yeah. So that, so that they know and appreciate all that, that, that you're doing. Sure. Okay. So that's, that's key. I mean, I see a lot of meetups where people just want to hang out and talk. And I think if it was a little bit more constructive to, to just, to share some feelings and maybe have somebody, a leader, And you could do this. There's another, there's another segue to, to your stream of services form support groups for, um, senior providers in the time of Covid, you know, and Absolutely. You know, that would be wonderful. So you, you

Tiffany Hill Allen 39:17

could be the co-founder.

Al Bogacious 39:20

Well, you didn't expect all this, did you?

Tiffany Hill Allen 39:25

Cause uh, yeah, my plate is full, but I think it is very much needed. I do, I do think that that's needed. I see it a lot because I guess I deal with people all over the country. Mm-hmm. And, um, in the places where Covid hasn't been as impactful, they have a little bit of a, I don't call it a harder time understanding, but there's, there's a little bit of push and pull in the whole thing. Right. Because some, some places have been totally devastated and so they're on the. Automatic protection mode cuz they've seen the devastation of it. And then others who haven't had it, it's like, eh, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, this is an overkill. So now you have to find that place in the middle. And, um, and, um, getting people to understand that and to really those people who are, who have had to be in over to protective mode, their rate of work and emotional spillage is a lot greater. And so some people, again, what you talked about is having that empathy, understanding what others are, are going through and putting your, your, your feet in that person's place is so important instead of judging. You know

Al Bogacious 40:34

what I mean? Yeah. And you know, I I, I had a thought because I, I always thought outside the box and, um, one of the biggest issues today, it. Just in general terms is teenagers texting and driving. Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Texting and driving use is right now one of the highest, highest causes of of accidents. So the algo within inside me would say one way that a person who does texting and driving would, would refrain from doing so, is to tell them to spend community service in the emergency room of their local hospital and see people coming in after crashes, seeing what that's like and people who are adamant about seeing, seeing or not, not wearing a mask and thinking, this is all nonsense. Let's write'em up. Give them community service, go over to a sniff or, and that stands for Skilled Skilled Nursing Facility or a place in a hospital where they are treating people with Covid 19, just to see what the result is of getting that disease, that dreaded disease. And maybe people will take more of a precaution to not spread it. Right. Does that make sense?

Tiffany Hill Allen 42:11

No, it makes perfect sense. It makes it, it does. Um, you know, both you and I are from New York. Yeah. Who would join the epicenter right. In the beginning. And, um, yeah. You lose somebody that means the world to you through this and you see the, the tragedy of it. It's just, it just, you know. Being an empath already, I was already sensitive to it when it was in Italy, and I saw that it could come here. You know what I mean? But then to have it happen to, yeah, it, it heightens it up even more. And, you know, so over and over again, you see where this has really impacted people's lives. And even, we're not even talking about death. You know? I, and that's what I said. So many people just look at it. Well, not only, only they always say that only this many people die, whatever have you. Which really, um, grates my soul. But what about the people who's impacted who, who have the long-term effects of it, right? Yeah. There are certain long-term effects, and that's probably even greater than those. Mm-hmm. Who have, you know, um, passed away. And that isn't. Talked about as much, but, um, there are other things and it's still n new, it's a novel virus, so we don't even know all of the long-term effects. So it's just that, you know, that really, um, you know, I guess we kind of went off the rails here on the so deeply though. I mean, we both are in this and we feel it and we see the impact of

Al Bogacious 43:30

it. Yep, yep. Um, I, I, I feel very honored that I had a chance to talk to you. You and I have been friends for, for a long time. Um, we, we both have the same mantras in our practices and in helping others, whether it's senior or otherwise. And, um, this is, this has been a really good experience for me. Thank you talking to you. And, um, I would, I would say this, that if anybody wants to communicate with me, they're. More than welcome to, I think. I think we're, we're, we're placed on earth for, for two specific reasons. Okay. And I want to cut through all the, you know, all the dynamics of whatever religion you are and distill it down into two statements. One, we're, we're here to use our skills and abilities mm-hmm. To the best we can. Okay. You know, for me it's my God-given abilities and I want to use them to the best that I can. Whatever I got, I want to use them to the best. The second part of why we're here is we, we want to make a difference in this world. So that our life really mattered. Sure. Okay. Yeah. So, so our life really mattered. Okay. And I think that's not, that's not egotistical. That's saying that you were given a gift to be here, and the most important thing you can do is give a gift back for, for, for doing so. Mm-hmm. So I think, I think life is really precious, and I think the best gift is to, is to leave a legacy behind that has helped others or that will help others. So you're doing that, you're doing that up to the wazoo. I hope so.

Tiffany Hill Allen 45:50

You are. That's, uh, you are, that's my mission, right? I mean, like, I hope so. I really, really do. Um. Mm-hmm. You know, uh, I think we have to live out the life that we were given. Like you said. I mean, you, you nail, you hit the nail right on the head of Yeah. Of what I feel, um, is, is. The reasoning and purpose of like, no matter, like you said, with the re mm-hmm. Religion, because most religions have some to sort of basis of that same foundation Yeah. Of, of impacting others so that you can, um, you know, I bettering yourself too, so you can impact others

Al Bogacious 46:25

as well. Right, right. Well, you know, I, uh, up in Connecticut, I was pure, I was part of the congregational church, which is the, uh, puritanical church of the old colonial times. Okay. So that's the, that's the can't do religion. You can't do this, you can't do that. Okay. So, so I, I guess I pulled a 180 on those guys and said, I'm gonna believe and can do, and whatever I could do to make a difference for, for my life, meaning something is the heart of my religion. Right. So. Right.

Tiffany Hill Allen 47:03

So what would you say lights you up? Working with the aging. I mean, there's so many different things I, that you, you could easily pull out of you just in this conversation. But if you was to say, this one thing is what lights me up working with the aging, what would that be? Okay,

Al Bogacious 47:20

let me give you an analogy. If I can go take yourself into Disney World, probably about 10 years ago, you remember you went to Epcot. You ever been to Epcot? Oh yes. Love it. Okay. Okay. You would go around the countries and there was, there would be the, the country of, I believe it was Denmark, and you walk up these stairs and they got the, they got the pictures of the oil rigs and all this wonderful stuff. The gnomes from up north, and you get on this log, you get on this log and it goes around water and you go down the flume. Does that make sense? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. That's what life is all about. We all climb up, we get to the top, we get in that log and down we go. Okay. We all become a senior if we're lucky. If we're lucky, right? So, so what excites me about working with seniors is I get to go, I get to go for a ride with them. Yeah. I get to go for a. During their lifetime, yes, I get to experience this with them. Good, bad, and ugly because you know what? I'm going on the same flume ride someday. Okay. We're all on it. Right.

Tiffany Hill Allen 48:50

So, and that's why it's so interesting to call it aging. Like I have like transitioned instead of just, I mean, so much of it so people understand. So senior, but it's, it's a process, isn't it? Like we're all aging and to go that journey of aging with somebody else is amazing to me.

Al Bogacious 49:07

It is. You know, and the guy who developed the bell curve should get a Nobel Priest prize because the bell curve comes up, goes to an apex and slides back down and you wind up in the same place, but a little bit farther away from once you started. Yes. And it's, it's a joy, it's a joy to connect with these seniors because they're walking history books. Absolutely. They got a, they got a lot to talk about. Yes. Okay. Okay. I wrote, I wrote something yesterday in my, in my social media about why, why seniors are so trusting, and they had a picture of a woman with her credit card on the phone. You know, so unfortunate that people use and abuse seniors financially. Yeah. And that's sad. And it, it is all, it's all predicated on, on a section of the brain that becomes a little bit dim compared to younger people. And they don't, they don't pick up the cues of the face or the speech to say, well, this doesn't sound right, or They don't look right that send, that, that tends to be missing as as you wage. And I think. I think to some degree we're all born caregivers. So, and that extends way beyond the nuclear family. And I, and I, and I think it excites me just to help somebody on their journey. Mm-hmm. Okay. And if there is some caveat that's going on that's negative, oh, I'm happy to help them with that, you know, and, um, I have a proverbial baseball bat hidden in my back pocket for anybody who gives a senior a hard time. Yes. And you do too. I know you do. You know, so you too. So, you know, it, it, it excites me to be mentor. By seniors with all their wealth of experience. Mm-hmm. Uh, you and I both know, um, Teresa, uh, Teresa Marks, who is currently at, uh, Augustine Landing as their executive director. She and I have been friends for many years. Her father, Vito and I took a shining to each other when he was at Brookdale Southside, and I wrote stories on him, and he was a, he was a Korean War vet. Yep. I remember. And boy, I, I learned so much about life through him. Not just the Korean War, but just about being a guy who's older. Okay. Yeah. Um, I think just hanging around the older senior citizens and learning from them make you a better person. And Yes. Adds to your own skillset sets and armor and anything else to help you through, through the longevity of your own life.

Tiffany Hill Allen 52:23

No, absolutely. That absolutely. Um, yes, I can go. Well, that's why Outlive Your Life Exists Right? Is to really, um, shined the light on a particular resident who I know impacted my life and getting stories of those who impacted other people's life, and then the people who looked with them. Mm-hmm. And so I do believe that. Absolutely. You know, there's something I was thinking about as you were talking. Is because some people think, well, I couldn't do that. Or I'm not used to working with people who are aging and they're professionals. Like how you are, you owned your own company, you worked in advertising, you as a teacher. How did you take those skills and how does it relate to your, what you need in senior, in the senior, um, care industry? Because a lot of people who are professionals, you know, I sell software, you know what I mean? Yep. Is there a place in healthcare for me? And they don't realize that it's not just the actual act of caring in terms of the clinical side, that there's an actual business side of it. Mm-hmm. Can you talk a little bit about that?

Al Bogacious 53:30

Oh, absolutely. There is. In my mind, there's absolutely no difference. There's, there's absolutely no difference between a business model of selling. Products and services to the business model of helping seniors. When a, when a client calls you today and asks for help, you should realize and know that they're calling you. They probably needed your help two or three days ago, but for some reason they are calling you now. So, so drop everything and help them. Okay? Um, your job in business and your only job in business, from my mindset, is to make your customer's life easy, easier. Mm-hmm. Okay. When you make your customer's life easier, guess what? The phone always rings because you're the go-to person that makes their life easier. Who else would they wanna call? Right? You're right. So you're, I mean, can you see the parallel here? Mm-hmm. So, so working with seniors, you're making your customer's life easier. Okay? The cool thing about seniors is holy mackerel, they really appreciate what you do. They really appreciate, you know, they've grown for shit, what you do. You know, I hate to tell you when I come home and I got some lipstick, lipstick on my collar and I gotta complain, honey, that's purple lipstick. That's from the old lady, you know, who hugged me today. And that's, that's so exciting when you get a guy, an old veteran and you're talk up stories. And I was in the Marines and I know history and I can connect with them and they wind up saying, I'm so glad I talked to you. And they give you a big hug. Yeah. Ah, man. Yeah. Does it get any better than that?

Tiffany Hill Allen 55:37

It is like everyday validation. So you're

Al Bogacious 55:40

doing a good job. Is that, does that answer your question? Yes. You're doing the same thing you do in business. You're, yes, you're, you're making your customers life easier, whether you're selling products, services, or helping seniors. Right? And it's so rewarding that in the senior sector, your customers, your customers give you such positive feedback that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, that you want to do it more,

Tiffany Hill Allen 56:09

right? Okay. You be kinda addicted to it to helping more. You're like, Ooh, I did this one. Who else can I get? Who else can I help?

Al Bogacious 56:15

The former fashion, you know, you know, I wanna say something that's outside of what we talked about. Okay. But it's probably the best advice for, for anybody scratching their head and thinking, what do I get my clients for a holiday gift? Okay? I'm gonna tell you the one and only gift you should get, and you'll be the most remembered vendor in your industry. It's very simple. You want to go to your favorite nonprofit? And you want to give them a boatload of money. Don't be spending crap on, um, popcorn tins and cheese platters and stuff like that, because if you were a fly on the wall, a couple people take a couple pieces and then next thing you know, it goes in the trash can and everybody forgets you. So what you want to do is go to your favorite nonprofit and say, Hey, here's a big check. Here's my donation. What I want you to do is I want you to send a letter to, to my client, Tiffany Allen, and say, dear Tiffany, I'm so glad you're working with th and you give him business because he took some of the money that you gave him. And he mo made a donation to our nonprofit, in your honor, Tiffany. Wow. Okay. Okay. And you know what happens to that? That letter gets put up in the employee room, in the bill, in, in, in the cork board or, or the, you know, the, the news board. And now it's like March into the next year and nobody took it down and everybody's still reading. How wonderful of that, of how you were in transferring some of the money you earned from a customer to the nonprofit who wouldn't want to do business with you. Right, right. Okay. All right. I have done that on several occasions and I have volunteered at homeless shelters. And I'll tell you, everybody's gotta get this perception of what a homeless person is. Oh, out of their minds. I'll give you one specific example. When I was up in Connecticut, I was at the, uh, Norwalk homeless shelter. I befriended a guy. And we sat and talked. He was a, he was a structural engineer working for Sikorski Aircraft in Stratford, Connecticut, Buku money, et cetera, et cetera. His wife woke up one day and say, said, you know what, I'm outta here. So she took the furniture, took the bank accounts, and bolted. And this guy is left with nothing. Oh my God. And it blew his psyche, you know, and he, he, he lost it and he wound up in a homeless shelter. Okay. And I think it's a good experience for everybody to s to, to pick a person, especially for the holiday season, and say, this is the person that I'm gonna devote some time to in the holiday season. And, I'm telling you, it'll make you a better person once you understand what this person went through, because God forbid it can happen to anybody. Yes. Yeah. It can happen to anybody. No, you're

Tiffany Hill Allen 59:55

absolutely right. You know, was just thinking of a, a former residence. As a matter of fact, this morning I was just thinking about him because, uh, you talked a little bit earlier about mental health and you know, I'm not gonna go through the whole story, but basically I didn't, I know depression exists, but to the point that somebody would need to go into senior living or assisted living. Um, and I, nobody knew what was wrong with him there. The doctors, they were trying to figure out why couldn't he get out of, you know, like what physically, cuz he heard us back. So they were like trying to figure it out and they couldn't. They were like, we don't know. We can't figure it out. And an event happened three years later that all of a sudden it snapped and it triggered and he. It was so incredible because he got up out of his, um, room, shaved himself for the first time probably in three years. Wow. Cut his hair, washed his hair, put on his own clothes. He showed up in the dining room at the community. Nobody knew who he was. Right. Nobody, he's a totally different person. He would not get out the room like he was, but that, it was that like, so something triggered something in him that he never had before, which was this severe, chronic, massive depression. And I think it was his sister who passed away who I think it, whatever, it just woke him up like, oh my God, maybe that could happen to me. I'm not ready to go yet. I better get my stuff together. Let me just get myself together. And through other, you know, like, I guess other counseling and stuff. But he ended up moving out, going back to his condo and everything. But you know, it was one of those great stories of wonderful who was going down and. And they triumph because a lot of times people think senior living, living in a community is forever. And for some people that might be, but for other people it could just be a, a, a stop in a stop over. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And, um, what you said was so important because you're right. That, um, you don't know what can trigger somebody to have some type of mental breakdown Yeah. And put them in a situation of like being homeless. Um, and, uh, and I think that's great advice, especially going into the holiday season.

Al Bogacious 1:02:15

Hmm. Yeah. It's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a good thing to do. And, um, I think, I think with my personal experience of having two belts with cancer, with cancer, and having at an earlier time in my life, having three heart attacks, uh, certainly, certainly paved the way for realizing that. Life is precious. Life is precious. And, um, there's a lot of sons out there, and we see him on Facebook talking about their, their, their mom dying, the mother dying. And I know for a guy, I could speak wholeheartedly that a son's mortality is really defined by when their mother dies. Okay? Because that was, that was, that was his first home. His first home was his mother. And so that's a total disconnect to, to life upon itself. But I am, I, I am grateful to say that I have, uh, six grandchildren, right? And I got, One little guy who is exactly like me and he's pulling the same stuff on his mother, my daughter, as I did on my mother, and it is just a fun thing to see that there's a little piece of me my. My immortality. Yes. Will, will, will keep going. And some, some, almost 40 year old woman is going to have gray hair sooner than she needs to. Thanks to a few strands of DNA from me. So, so

Tiffany Hill Allen 1:03:59

that is so cool. Yeah. So what I would like to say is that if you could speak to your freshman college self, oh boy.

Al Bogacious 1:04:10

Oh, you know, and I,

Tiffany Hill Allen 1:04:12

in closing, um, okay. Did a great conversation. I, I could talk to you forever.

Al Bogacious 1:04:18

All right. Well, that's a good thing. And if you ever want to investigate what I looked like as a freshman in college, all you gotta go is my Facebook. I did a posting. When I was just about ready to go into college, you could see what I looked like, which would no long hair and the whole nine yards weird. Uh, but I would say to my freshman self, and I think I kind of alluded to this to you and I, this would be to all the freshmen out there, okay? All the freshmen. Okay? Spend more time connecting with your inner self and stop looking for relationships and experiences to self-medicate yourself in those early years. Too often. Too often, we spend so much time. Working on or trying to get into relationships and experiences that, that really run interference for the natural progression of us really connecting with our inner self. Mm-hmm. So, so people can sit on the rocking chair and say, yeah, I went here, I went there, I did this cruise, I did that cruise, I did this, I did that. But did you take the ultimate trip and really connect with who you really are? Mm-hmm. You know, too often we're too busy, we're, we're too busy doing all this stuff and not really not really connecting with ourselves. And I do it on a daily basis and I wanted to set the record straight that. That when I get up and I ride my bike every day and I take those pictures and I write the nonsense that I write, I'm really connecting with myself. There's nobody around. There's nobody around. I'm not, I'm not riding this stuff for anybody else except me, cuz I'm enjoying myself. I got the me time to myself. I'm just enjoying it. Mm-hmm. And I pull things and I see things and I write things and I connect things. Yesterday I had this picture of the sunrise and I kind of fooled around with a camera and it was the sunrise and the sun reflection on the pond. And the trees look all kinds of weird. And I said, those who connect with their eternal light, and I don't mean religiously, I just mean their eternal light. Sure. They'll have an unlimited supply. Of offering rays of hope and devotion to others. Okay. So, so that's really a precursor to a good senior provider caregiver is to always replenish and focus on your eternal light that's inside you. Make that connection and you'll have plenty, you'll have plenty of give for other people. Okay, good. You know, I mean, does that make sense?

Tiffany Hill Allen 1:07:47

Yeah, absolutely. Makes sense. As of what really great words of wisdom and All right. Well, um, I think, um, when I think about you, I think that is how you would be known as a person who outlived their life.

Al Bogacious 1:08:04

Well, I know, I, I know I'm not. You know, and like I said, with, with the bouts of cancers and the heart attacks, you know, the grim reaper was, you know, within the social distance of six feet. Okay. But I, but I, but I beat him the five times and I think that gives me a reflective view of life that while I'm here, just make the best of it. Right. Make it better for somebody else. Right. Okay. We're all, we're all going down that flume the same way. And we might as well throw our arms at and just scream out the joy. Enjoy the ride.

Tiffany Hill Allen 1:08:47

Let's, thank you so much. Aw, you're welcome. I appreciate this time. I thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule of helping. Hey, I wouldn't miss

Al Bogacious 1:08:56

this opportunity for the world. I wouldn't miss this for the world. You are, you are one special person and, um, Too, too often we, we don't realize the magnification we have in this world, and you have a huge one. So just know, just know that I'm only one of many, many, many people who feel the same way about you. And that should motivate you to keep doing what you're doing because inadvertently you're making a difference. Thank you. You know, when I had, when I had connected you, uh, with that person who was looking for a job? Yes. Uh, and the first comments outta her mouth were, wow, that Tiffany is really a super person. Thank you so much for connecting her to me. You may or may not have done nothing to help her into her next job, which she's doing very well in. You just gave her the insight. That there are people out there that just innately care. Okay. They don't have to write a check, they don't have to do anything. They just know innately that you care. And that's sometimes all a senior needs or anybody needs is just to know there's somebody that cares. That is true.

Tiffany Hill Allen 1:10:26

That is definitely true. That's all they need to know. Yeah.

Al Bogacious 1:10:29

That is so true. No, you don't have to spend a boatload of money or anything else. Just know that somebody cares, and I'll tell you, that's probably the best medicine if they know that somebody cares and, and that, that gives them their inner strength, that helps them to connect with their eternal light. Sure.

Tiffany Hill Allen 1:10:49

No. For their life actually. Right. Okay.

Al Bogacious 1:10:50

That's I. I, I know I've taken more time than I thought we would do. I appreciate the time. Uh, if you send me the link, I'll be talking about this wonderful lady that I spoke to who really got my day sunny, in spite of it raining and that's a good thing. So I know. So that's good.

Tiffany Hill Allen 1:11:16

The sun is finally coming out finally. It might come your way soon. It's just, I was so dreary this morning, but I think I know, cause I talked to you. The sun is shining, so, okay. God smiling.

Al Bogacious 1:11:27

Alright, well thank you for your time. Thank you so much. All right. Okay. Bye Tiffany. Bye-bye. Bye-Bye bye.