The Badass CEO

E11: Nadine Crocker - Producer, Director, & Actress

September 08, 2020 Mimi MacLean
The Badass CEO
E11: Nadine Crocker - Producer, Director, & Actress
Chapters
The Badass CEO
E11: Nadine Crocker - Producer, Director, & Actress
Sep 08, 2020
Mimi MacLean

Nadine Crocker is a director, writer, actress, and producer. Her debut feature “Continue” will be released in 2021. “Continue” is based on Nadine’s life and true-story of surviving a suicide attempt when she was 23. I’ve had the opportunity to see Nadine’s journey of producing “Continue,” and I am so excited to have her here today to get a unique insight into the entertainment industry.

To learn more about the Badass CEO Podcast go to:  http://www.thebadassceo.com/ To get the Top 10 Tips every entrepreneur should know go to: https://thebadassceo.com/tips-for-every-entrepreneur/


Show Notes Transcript

Nadine Crocker is a director, writer, actress, and producer. Her debut feature “Continue” will be released in 2021. “Continue” is based on Nadine’s life and true-story of surviving a suicide attempt when she was 23. I’ve had the opportunity to see Nadine’s journey of producing “Continue,” and I am so excited to have her here today to get a unique insight into the entertainment industry.

To learn more about the Badass CEO Podcast go to:  http://www.thebadassceo.com/ To get the Top 10 Tips every entrepreneur should know go to: https://thebadassceo.com/tips-for-every-entrepreneur/


Mimi (00:01):

Welcome to the Badass CEO podcast. This is Mimi McLean. I'm a mom of five entrepreneur, Columbia business, school grad, CPA, and angel investor. And I'm here to share with you my passion for entrepreneurship. Throughout my career, I've met many incredible people who have started businesses, disrupted industries, persevered and turned opportunity into success. Each episode, we will discuss what it takes to become and continue to be a bad ass CEO directly from the entrepreneurs who have made it happen. If you're new in your career, dreaming about starting your own business or already an entrepreneur, the bad-ass CEO podcast is for you. I want to give you the drive and tools needed to succeed in following your dreams.Welcome back to the badass CEO. This is Mimi, and today I have Nadine Crocker and she's a director, writer, actress, and producer. Her debut feature Continue will be released in 2021. Continue is based on Nadine's life and true story of surviving a suicide attempt when she was 23, I've had the opportunity to see Nadine's journey of producing Continue. And I'm so excited to have her here today to get a unique insight into the entertainment industry.

Mimi (01:31):

I like to think of a producer and director, kind of as their own CEO. And so that's kind of why I wanted to bring you on today to kind of talk about how you put together this entire movie from idea to the end. So I'm so excited to have you on today Nadine.

Nadine (01:46):

Thank you.

Mimi (01:48):

So how did you decide to actually, because you were an actress at first, so how did you actually decide to start creating, directing and producing your own movie?

Nadine (01:56):

I always knew that part of my journey eventually was going to be telling my own stories. You know, I, I knew that I had a lot of things that I wanted to say and a lot of the subjects I want to talk about. So I knew eventually I would get to that. And then as I've battled depression and anxiety and, you know, mental health battles, I just became more and more passionate about it and felt like the more that I talked to people about my story in particular of battling depression pretty badly, and then eventually trying to take my own life. It just kept sitting there and sitting there. And I knew that I needed to tell this story. I knew that I needed to talk about these subjects. Cause I felt like no one was also, which is so isolating when you're going through those things. And you're like, okay, so no one talks about it. There's no films about it. There's not a lot of places you can go for the subject matter. And I just, you know, I've always hated that stigma. And so that kind of, I think is what stemmed it. And then there was a lot of self doubt of like, you know, I'm an actress no one is going to take me serious as a writer. And then I just had to say F** that, and, and I was really hard on myself with the script and just going over it and over it, and many different drafts to make it the best thing it could be. And then, you know, I started sending it out and I heard a lot of the people and I got a lot of notes going back saying, no one wants to talk about this. No one want to talk about mental health. No, one's gonna like, it's really hard because the movie's not out yet. So I can't talk about a lot of the things about the film, which you know about, you know, like some of our bigger moments in the film and different things like that. But I got a lot of notes back that, you know, people weren't going to like it and that it was heavy and people don't want that. And I just strongly disagreed and basically was like F that, okay, I'm going to make this myself. And it became by the time now that it's made like eight or nine year journey of writing, going back to the drawing board, getting it tighter and tighter and tighter, then trying to attach producers, trying to attach funds, then the journey game and the perfect people came along. And I always say that the universe had to happen exactly when it was meant to, you know, but that's, that's what stemmed it. I wanted to tell stories and I wanted to talk about things that people don't want to talk about. I think that's the stuff we're supposed to make movies about. I think that's the stuff that we have to be brave enough to be the first to bring it up then, you know, so I just knew that that was my mission and above all else, I really want to help people. You know, I really wanted to just share my story in particular that not that life got perfect after those really dark years and that suicide attempt, but I was alive and my life has turned into something I would've never imagined. Like, as you know, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm all of these things. I'm a director now I'm a producer. I'm all the things that I always wanted to be. And had I not had the courage to continue on through that was pun intended or not intended. I love it. But through that and wanting to, and through continuing on, I found this life and this, Yeah. I like I never would have imagined possible, honestly.

Mimi (05:10):

That's awesome. That's great. So it sounds like it was much harder than you would typically have thought just because of the subject matter. So you think it was of a different subject matter if it was a romantic comedy and you wrote and romantic comedy, it would have been an easier sell per se.

Nadine (05:26):

I mean maybe? Honestly they say statistically like getting your movie made in Hollywood is like winning the lottery. It's like, there are so many filmmakers in Los Angeles. There are so many dreamers, there's so many actors, you know, so it's a really hard process. They say, if you get your film made period, like you've done something that so many filmmakers might not get the opportunity to do. So it's already a really hard thing to have this idea and give people this idea on paper then for them to see the vision that you see in your head, because it's like, you can't translate all of that to this paper. And then on top of that, everyone's so crazy about page count. And so you can't be overly descriptive. You can't be, you know, it's just like weird world that you live in. And so it's a hard process period, but the subject matter is definitely what made it harder for me. And also my name didn't mean anything I've been acting and I've been working as an actor and, and able to not always, but pay my bills primarily now through creative endeavors. But so that's the other thing about this town is a lot of times they want the name. They want someone that they know that their money is going to be safe with because that's a recognizable name and most people want people they recognize, you know? So that's also a hard process. I think if you have a script and you have someone attached and it can make your world a lot easier, but yeah, my subject matter, didn't help. I think that I was a first time writer director, you know, it was scary and they're like, well, you're an actress. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm also going to be other things. So, you know, I'm just going to make you believe that, you know.

Mimi (07:03):

So now that the whole process is pretty much complete. What would you say the hardest part was looking back?

Nadine (07:12):

I would definitely still say getting everything together to get the movie made was a really hard process. Obviously, you know, nearly nine years, it's a long time, but really going through the whole process, the hardest part was production because everything that could go wrong did, you know, we'd show up to location and just that morning, the elevator broke and we're filming on the roof, you know? And so my crew is pulling up gear off the side of the building and then the bathrooms break. And so we don't have a single bathroom and this entire set and we're having to get a trailer there and all the things. And it's just like everything that could go wrong does, and did I got a face infection during filming. The tooth infection, which then spreads in my face and I'm on camera, but by the peer graces of God, a permit fell through. So we had to move our Thursday filming to a Saturday. And when I woke up that Thursday morning, I had to go to an emergency dentist because my face had swollen. So it's like one of those things where I also say like, I think that anything that could go around did, but God was like, I'm gonna throw you a bone. Or it always worked out to be like a hundred times better than the location that fell through or whatever. Like, you know, it was supposed to cost us a lot of money to go to San Francisco and to film all of that stuff. And then we find this Epic location with the most beautiful view of the bridge and they let us have that just to rent a room because of the subject matter. And because I basically went down there, I'm very tenacious and I'm very passionate. And I was just like, listen, I need you. And they ended up working with us. And so things always came through, but it was also like for me, like a very Scorpio control, like just want, you know, this is my baby. So like, it was really hard being so out of control and just having to have pure faith, I'm like, okay, it's all gonna work out. It's gonna happen. We're gonna make it through this. And it always did. And I also had an amazing team around me, you know, my producer, Jay, my DP, you, everyone, I had such great support. So that's definitely how I got through that. But yeah, I'd say that was definitely the hardest process.

Mimi (09:17):

Yeah. Yeah. So I want to touch a base on what you were just talking about with your, your cast and your crew. Cause they were amazing people. And so you kind of put together a mini company in a sense that lasted for a year. And that's how I like to look at movies kind of is like you put together these companies that only lasts for a year or two years or six months, however long the whole process is, and then it's gone. Right. So how did you quote on quote hire or how did you find these people and what was like the common cause I know, you met a lot of people. So what was that common link or what were you looking for? What were the attributes you were looking for in people?

Nadine (09:51):

Honestly it was just like all gut and heart and I'm a very like emotional, empathetic, like I, and I'm wear my heart on my sleeve. So it was just kind of like, I just didn't beat around the bush. I'm like, Hey, this is my baby. This is my story. Like and how they would receive it and how it affected them often was what made me go. Yes. Or I'm not sure, maybe you're great, but just not this one because I knew it was going to be a strenuous project. We had a very limited funds for such an ambitious script and we had very limited days for such ambitious scripts. So I knew that I needed people whose heart was going to be fully in this. And it just so happens that almost every person from the crew, from my producers, from everyone, I have chills right now had a connection to suicide and had strong connections to mental health, but primarily a big connection with suicide. So it was almost as if these people found me and just I'd be sitting across from them and I'd be like near my person. Like I just know it. So it all, yeah. So it all, it all kind of came together in that way and just like really going from my heart and also being very, very picky in the first place with who I'd sit down with and the photos they'd bring for what they envisioned or different things. Cause I'm very collaborative as a filmmaker and as an actor and I love hearing other people's vision and I wanted to make sure that anyone that I brought on, I had the utmost trust, like, okay, I'm not going to be able to micromanage every human being. I need creatives that I can fully trust in this process because I'm wearing 900 hats, which was a very hard thing to do with such an emotional piece. You know, I led in it, directed, it, produced it. I mean, you name it. I'd probably was craft service a day. Like you name it. I just, I wore a million hats. So I knew I needed a bunch of badasses basically around me.

Mimi (11:59):

What I thought was amazing was I mean you did have a lot unbelievable amount of love and everyone was there. I definitely for a common good. Right. I feel like, and you didn't really touch on this, but I want to highlight it that you got a lot of people to work for less. And you had a lot of people that even gave you less pricing for renting cars or renting locations. And, and I think that that speaks to you obviously and your passion, but also to the subject matter, right. Because mental health has been such a huge, I think it's finally coming to the forefront of the conversation and I think it's still needs to come to the forefront of the conversation, especially in light of COVID. I mean, that has not even ever been addressed yet right now. And I think it's going to continue to completely devastate our younger generations too. You know, like just seeing these kids sitting in front of a computer all day long, doing schoolwork. I mean, there's gotta be some psychological effects to that that we haven't even seen yet. But going back to the Continue movie, I just feel like I would love for you to just kind of touch on that, like how you were able to, cause I think other CEOs, no matter what their cause is be creative, right. And bootstrap what you have, if that's your passion and don't say no and just figure out ways if it's bartering, if it's, so can you just speak to that a little bit?

Nadine (13:15):

Yeah. I mean, I touched on a little bit, like I'm extremely tenacious and I don't take no easily and I just don't give up. That's just been my nature since I was young. I'm stubborn. So, you know, I just, wasn't afraid to ask. I wasn't afraid to tell people I had $10 in two days basically like not enough money and not enough days, I need your help to make this film possible. This is my story. This is what I'm trying to do. I think also the fact that I donated a personal percentage of my points in the backend to charity and I had already explained to them that that's what I was going to do and that I made my own nonprofit to coincide with the film, the Continue On Foundation. So, you know, if we received any donations from that, that's going to go to getting people to help they need. And also to fund more mental health projects. That's my goal for the nonprofit. I'm kind of still developing it. I've got fiscally sponsored and developing it now and figuring out kind of what my thing is going to be like, what makes my foundation different? And the truth is, is I don't know that it's going to be all that different. I just want to get more help for people. So, you know, there's also going to be different nonprofits that I partner with and without getting too far into that. So people saw that it wasn't just about making this movie at all. It was, it was about telling this story. It was about breaking the stigma. It was about trying to save lives. It was about raising money for charity. So I think when people see that and I'm telling this and I'm, then I'm also speaking from the heart and half the time I'm probably really emotional. Cause like I said, I have very much wear my heart on my sleeve and I just, wasn't afraid to just utterly and completely show myself and just hope that it was accepted. You know? And I think that that's the number one thing I could recommend to any CEO or any filmmaker or person out there trying to achieve their dreams is like you have to show people what makes you different. And I think that what made this film so different and what made people want to give us these deals and wheel and deal and okay, fine, we'll give you this. But you know, for this fraction of the price, which is not what we normally do because we know you're not going to stop asking also it's like, you know, my mental Institute, we filmed in an active mental institution that was heavy and that was hard. And it was also strenuous for the mental institution. Like for all of the people who run that facility and their price was, I mean, we could never afford it. Like never. And I got them down to like a shockingly low price and they did it and it was like, people like that. It just, I think they knew I wasn't gonna give up easily. And then by the time I got on the phone with them, they could hear my passion. And I just, I wasn't afraid to ask them. I wasn't afraid to just tell them who I truly was and why I was truly doing it. And I think people connect to that. They want to be part of something real. They want to be part of something special and that, that helps people. And I think that if you can keep your heart in the right place and remember why you're always doing what it is that you're doing, doors will open for you. You know, every time before I would go into a scene or anything that I would do, I would say a prayer basically for the person who's in pain, that whatever my performance was supposed to be for them. And I did that with everything before I went in there. Like I just try to constantly keep my mind on the mission rather than all the other shit, because all the other stuff just gets heavy and new things come up, you know, but if I tried to keep my mind in the positive and, and not, it led me to the right places.

Mimi (16:53):

That's great. That's great. You definitely touched on this. But if someone were going to pick up, move across country and go to Hollywood to try to make it, if it's acting, writing, producing, directing, what suggestion, knowing what you know about the industry and how it's changing so much, what would you suggest for them? I mean, you definitely already had the contacts because of your acting, but you also had to start somewhere. So what would you suggest somebody who's starting from scratch? What should they do?

Nadine (17:18):

Well, I mean, the first thing I'll say is we all start from scratch. So like you're no different than anyone else. And I dropped out of high school when I was 16 and I moved to LA on my own and I was 16, 17. I officially was fully living here by 17. I mean in LA by 17 and worked three jobs. And you know, I didn't come from, we were always very modest upbringing. So it was like, if I wanted to stay down there, I had to figure out a way and it's not easy. And what I would say is like, first know that your heart won't be happy unless this is what you're doing. And if you know that your heart will not be happy doing anything else, then you have to come. There's no other choice. And when you get here, don't give up. That's all I can truly truly say. It's taken me. I mean, what six, 15, 16 years. I'm about to turn 32 and it's taken this long. But the difference between me and maybe other people who exist out there is that I wasn't willing to give up. I wasn't willing to go home. People have asked me when, when is it time that you finally go, okay, I'm tired of working three jobs and living down there and, and feeling this pain every time, it's a lot of rejection, which is why it can be really hard on your heart, you know, and your mental state and kind of having that feeling of not being enough. And, and the industry will always tell you, you're not enough, not pretty enough, too pretty this that you know, and the truth is is you just have to know inside your heart like that, this is what you're meant to be doing. And for me, I knew that no matter what, even if I didn't make it as an actor to this place that we all hope we're going to get to, I would always be an actor. I would be doing some profession, but I would always be acting, doing theater, doing something. I knew I couldn't live without it. So for me, there was no I'll go home at 10 years. I'll go home and whatever years. And thank God there wasn't because 16 years later I'm finally getting the opportunities I've dreamed of doing since I was a 16 year old kid, you know? So I mean, my number one, it was like, don't go home. You have no other choice. Like you have to stay here and you have to fight it out. And eventually, you know, that's what they say, right? In a 10 years span, at some point, everyone will get the same opportunity. You know, you'll finally find yourself in the same rooms. If you stay long enough, I totally splattered that quote. But you know, it's basically just saying, if you'll, you'll end up at least getting some of the opportunities other people do, if you stay long enough and you don't give up.

Mimi (19:54):

And is it about networking? Like you show up and then you just kind of try to network to find an agent to then get you in the door. Is that

Nadine (20:02):

Yeah. Like reps I'll, I'll say reps are really, you need auditions. So whenever it gets you out additions, because you are going to go to thousands of auditions and you're going to book about 10 of them, you know, it's like, you look at my resume, I've auditioned for some of the biggest movies and shows that have existed that I still like, and like, Oh God. Yeah. Where I'm like, Oh, I still know the lines that she's saying. And I'm like, Oh God, I remember this one, you know? And you'll go through thousands of them and you'll get 14 or 15, you know? And, and that's the point you need audition. So yeah. Reps are always my networking. Yes. But reps and class and studying. I think that the thing that really sets you apart as an actor, if you're a serious actor, is you are never not acting. I was always in class and something and I couldn't afford it. I'd get that over. Like food I'd live on top of ramen so that I could be in class and constantly learning. And even now I'm never not learning. I'm never not in class or getting coaching. I mean, you've met my acting coach. My coach was with me every day on set. It doesn't matter where you go for me. I'll always want to be better. I'll never stop trying to learn to get to that next level, that next level with my art, because it's what I want to do for the rest of my life. So I think, yes, networking, finding reps, but also if you're so good and you are so committed to your work and eventually someone is going to see that, you know, and I think yes, find reps because you need auditions and then study and study and get your 10,000 hours. You know, they say, yeah, 10,000 to become a master at something, get those, you know, because that's what will also set you aside. There's a lot of people in this town and I don't like to talk badly about any one and we're all struggling. We're all trying to make it at this thing, but there's a lot, there's a difference between a lot of creatives or CEOs, even where they call themselves an actor or an entrepreneur or whatever. And they're out networking every night, drinking and doing the thing and doing the dance. But even when they get those opportunities, if you're not in class and you're not working your ass off, like the product will always show the skill will always show, like, if you are putting those hours in and you are making yourself the best you can possibly be, it's going to show, you know, so yeah. Get auditions, do all of that, but just work on your craft so much that people can't say no, eventually that's what I was always trying to get to. I want to be so good that they can't say no, even if I'm not the name, maybe selling the film, like I want to be so good that they're like, I can't, I, she has to get it, you know, and I'm still working every day to try and to get better and better and better.

Mimi (22:52):

That's great advice. So do you see yourself going on to be concentrating more on acting, producing, writing, directing, like where all the, all of it.

Nadine (23:00):

That's the question of everyone right now. I've just received three offers for films to direct.

Mimi (23:06):

Congratulations. That's exciting.

Nadine (23:09):

Yeah. Just got several offers that came through for new films. I just finished my next script that I plan to direct that I wrote, which is about the first year of Parenthood and how hard and beautiful and life changing it all is. But for that process, I'm going to have another child and go on that journey over a year progression. So I'm kind of trying to put my own script, off for another couple of really reading other people's material. And I have some other written ones as well. So I'm just deciding really what the next move is, but it's funny. Acting will always be my heart. And I'm actually, and I'm mid talking about some other acting projects right now, too. So we'll see what happens with those. But they're very exciting. And I'm trying not to, like, I'm trying to just be like, let's see that the universe brings to me. Yeah. I acting will always be my passion. It's what I love. But I really found, like I found my purpose through directing and that's why I'm very, very picky about what I'll direct. Not in the sense of just cause like, I think I'm fancy and all I have to be picky. No, it's that I really won't tell a story and that's my 100% heart and passion, is in it. Because I know that that's half of why the film continued came together and pure magic is because when your heart is so fully involved in that people want to give you their heart too. So my heart has to fully be in a project for me to get a year of my life because directing is a year acting as a month or two, sometimes six months, you know, you never know how long or big the project is, but directing as a year or more of your life. So my heart has to be in it. But also I'm very, very particular about the film has to have a message. Why am I telling it? And so I'm in this process of like, knowing that those are the two things that I need to have to fuel me. So I'm just taking my time right now. But I do think that directing is going to be where my heart kind of takes off and writing. I mean, I love, I love telling stories. I love, there's just too many stories to tell. We all go through so much bullshit as human beings. And we have so many experiences and so much trauma and so many, there's just so much shit that we all got to start talking about. And I feel like that's why we need to make movies to say something otherwise sometimes there to entertain. But even a romantic comedy can have a message, you know?

Mimi (25:31):

No, it's very true. Now, last question you worked with your husband, he was on set with you. He was an actor in the movie and your support system. So how was that, like, how did that work? Like working with your husband on set? Did it make you guys stronger? Was it trying?

Nadine (25:47):

He's my biggest fan and he's my biggest supporter. I can say that was the utmost. Like I love him and he loves me dearly. I couldn't do any of it without his support. He gets more excited than me sometimes at the things that are happening, you know, like where I'm like trying to stay calm. And he's like, no, like you can't stay calm. You know, he's just like use my cheerleader and he's the best. And so all during continue, I just think we overwhelming pride. Like he had just like trumped everything, even the struggles. Cause it was I'm sure really hard. I mean, his wife who is normally his everyday companion, his best friend, we do everything together. I was just like absent. You know, I would make it home in time to put my son to sleep at at least a couple of nights a week. And I was gone before they woke up and I was gone by the time they went to sleep most days cause preproduction and production and our production hours were so crazy. So it was definitely hard. And I think it was hard for him because Continue was such a beautiful love story. So you have this person that you love so much missing for a lot of it. And then when you get to come and be part of it, you watch them on screen constantly being in love with someone else. And so I saw it every once in a while. Like I just miss my wife and I'm like, I'm here. I love you. You know, it was definitely hard, but, but our hardest thing of all of it was me directing him as him, an actor and me director, because he'd get frustrated or frustrated with himself. And let's be honest. Who do you as a human take things out on when you're frustrated your spouse, closest person, like I'm so guilty of that. So he'd be frustrated. And then he'd start talking to me as if I was his wife and like kind of like, you know, not that he ever argues, but he'd be like, well I need this. And then like Jay, who is producing partner is also one of his best friends. That's how I know Jay is through my husband, Jay would be like, this doesn't feel like director, let's take a friend and let's remember that we don't talk to her. Like our wife, we talked to her like our director and he's like, Oh, I know, but it's hard. And it's hard because like, you know, you're used to being able to like fight, you know, butt heads with your, your spouse. Like we all do, but I couldn't be the supporting wife. I had to be that I don't give a shit. You have had this many takes. I have no time. I have 7 scenes to go. Do it.

Mimi (28:13):

Yeah. I remember sitting next to him during the screening and I don't know if that was the first time he's seen the movie or not, but it was first time I saw the movie. And so we're sitting there and your love seeing came on and it wasn't with him. And I was sitting there like, Oh, this is uncomfortable. I don't know if it's uncomfortable for me.

Nadine (28:34):

And he was probably probably in the back of the theater like this.

Mimi (28:42):

So that was, that was interesting. I'm like, I've never been in this situation like this where I'm actually watching the movie with the two spouses in the same room.

Nadine (28:50):

It's always a definitely one where I see his face got a little bit red because it's also like, not just that it's me with someone else, but it's also like, it's his wife and everyone's looking at his life, you know? And luckily, because he thinks it's so beautifully shot, like he's still very supportive of it. Cause he's like, well, it's just so beautiful and silhouetted and you look so stunning. And so like he gets past that because the filmmaker in him is like, it's just so well done that I can't even like be upset about it. You know?

Mimi (29:19):

That's awesome. Then he's such a great guy. Yeah. And he's good. So where are you? Like it's done. You're finished. Where are we at in? But people know when they can start watching it or give them kind of an update what's going on?

Nadine (29:31):

Well, so right now we're submitted to Sundance. We are almost finished. It's completely finished as of next week. We have actually, the color is still, but I'd gone a mix. We did the joker over the road, bow all the John wigs, dr. Sleep. I mean a huge, huge, huge, huge films. Like the fact that she did my film, I'm still kind of like pinching myself. I got to work with her this week and we're working remotely. So I'm working from a computer who has her on zoom and then an iPad that's linked to her system and I'm getting to watch her work. And it's just like, my mind is exploding. Honestly, just the film went to a whole next level. It's so beautiful. She is such a magician and an artist. And so we finish our color next week or she finishes the color next week. And then once that's finished, we drop it in and we finish, put all the last finishing touches on and then it's completely finished. But right now it's already submitted to Sundance. And Sundance is my goal. That's where I really, my heart has always been where I thought it would shine, but we'll see COVID is really made festivals, funky and festivals that normally take 300 applicants are taking 50. I mean, TIF took, I think only 50 this year, which, and they normally take around like 300. So I have no idea what that's gonna mean for the submissions. And who's selected. I also have no idea if it's going to go all digital or if there will be any in person. So Cassie and Elway's, who is my AP and my mentor and my dearest friend. And I love him so much, so much. He did Dallas buyers club, blue Valentine. I mean, he's just a genius and he is our EP, but he's also selling the film. So it's just kind of where we see what distribution deal comes together. If we end up doing a festival route, or if we're going to go just to getting it out into the world, we're just kind of trying to finish it and then see what our gut and what the universe, what opportunities come to us and what is meant to happen. You know, whether we will end up getting to premiere at a festival or whether we're just going to get out into the world. I do have this really, really strong belief that with COVID and everything that's happening in the world, people need this message more than ever. The huge reaction we got from the teaser alone and the messages that flooded in it was quite overwhelming. I was like in tears for like three days straight truthfully, cause it was just like hearing people what just that teaser meant to them. And especially during these dark times and suicide hotlines and the texts crisis hotline and all of their calls are like through the roof. They don't even have enough people right now to even address all of the people who are calling. So I think we're going to see a huge increase in depression and I hope not suicide, but I mean, we're just hearing that people are feeling really dark and really, really lost right now. And I think we all are feeling that a little bit and hopeless. Sometimes it's 2020 has been a little bit rough, you know? So I just, I feel like whatever's meant to happen, will happen and we gotta get it out there. And we got to let people know that they're not alone. You know? So I'm hoping I'm hoping theaters, but we don't even know how American cinema is going to go people, you know, I think that tenant coming out this month, I think, yeah, it's about to come out is like one of the first big blockbusters to come out into theaters. So I think we'll see if people get back in the theaters, I think we'll see what's going to happen. Like, you know, we don't, even every filmmaker's dream is to get a distribution deal where they get theaters and ODI and released on the computers and TVs and all of that. And there isn't even really theaters right now. Like, and it's not really safe. So, you know, or, or they're figuring out ways for it to be safe. I don't want to say that it's not safe, but they're figuring out a new normal. So I'm just trying to see what happens. You know, if, if theaters aren't safe and, and people aren't going then get it out into the world and let them watch it on their TV, you know, it's like they won't get to see how it looks on a massive screen, but you know, maybe one day we'll get to do that. You know, I just, I know that for me personally, I'm really, really lucky. And I don't even know if you know this, but we clicked export on our edit. And that week quarantine hit in our, the entire building. Our post office was shut down. No one was allowed in or out. So had I not finished right then had the movie not come together and filmed right. When it was supposed to had I taken the time off that I was planning to, which is like, we've finished on the week of Thanksgiving on like a Tuesday, Thanksgiving was on a Thursday that following Monday, I was just going in to meet my editor and then was like, no, let's just start. I need to dive in. And so I never took any time off. I just went straight into editing. My plan was originally to take like a month away from it and then come in and that didn't work. And thank God I didn't do that because we edited it in time to get out before COVID hit and then be able to work remotely after. So I know a lot of people personally, who were shut down mid filming, who were shut down mid editing. And so they're trying to do it remotely and remotely sucks. It's like working remote sometimes sucks. You don't get to feel the person next to you. You don't get to be able to chat and vibe together. So, you know, it's hard. And I really sympathize with filmmakers out there and CEOs and people who are having to learn this new normal, you know, I can really sympathize and relate with them. And I got really lucky that we got to this place, then that we were able to finish the film. So my thing is, is like, it's always worked out whatever the universe has wanted. It's always somehow kind of worked out for our little engine that could, so I just think it will find its place, but I ask everyone, please see it when it does come out and yeah. Know that you're not alone. If you are battling, you know, your inner demons and stuff. So

Mimi (35:27):

That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Thank you. I looked forward to seeing the finished product and I'm sure everyone else does too. It has been great to get to know you during this whole journey, and I do hats off because you amaze me in everything that you did that you wanted to do. You did, and you didn't give up. I definitely think you will be rewarded for that. And I can't wait to see what you do next. So thank you. Thank you so much. And then, so follow @nadinecrocker, is your Instagram Nadine Crocker. Continue is also on Instagram @continuethefilm. That's what we'll be releasing a lot of. Well, my, my Instagram is always all things continue, but we also have the teaser there and we have all of the updates on both mine and there. And I just want to say to you, because I still have you for a second. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for your support CEOs, entrepreneurs, people like you are the reason that I could live this dream and I couldn't have done it without you. So I just wanted to say that.

Mimi (36:24):

You're sweet. Thank you so much. It's really has been, it's obviously a message that's dear to our family's heart. So it was definitely a moving process going through it and having even spending time on the set. And I think everyone I talked to at one point had tried to take their life and thank God everyone there, you know, did not succeed. And they failed, which was a good fail. And they were there to tell the story and to, to move on and to kind of come together. So that was really moving to be a part of that, and really try to understand. And I thought the common theme, just for anyone, who's still listening, the common theme I asked each of them, like, what do you think is the reason why you're still here today? And they all said, you need someone to talk to. So if anyone's listening and going through this pain right now, it's like find somebody to talk to somebody is going to talk to you and tell them what's going on. Share it. Don't be embarrassed by it. Open up, like you're not going to get better unless you have somebody you can confide in. And if you don't have somebody to go pay somebody, like just talk to somebody.

Nadine (37:25):

I was just going to say, don't be afraid of therapy. Don't be, I have a life coach. I have a therapist. I have, I have a really great support system. I have sponsors that I'm also sober. I have all of the things, you know, and you need people to turn to. Keeping it all inside is only at some point going to become more and more suffocating. Like the people around me and those conversations are the air I needed to be able to breathe from that suffocation. You know, you, you have to just open up and you have to put yourself out there. And it's really, really scary, but there is no other path. Otherwise we're just isolated. And the worst thing is isolation. You know, no one wants to feel utterly alone. So you just have to find your person, find someone safe to speak to.

Mimi (38:13):

That's true. Thank you again for all. You do. Good luck. I can't wait to see what happens. Go Sundance.

Mimi (38:21):

Take care.

Nadine (38:21):

You too!

Mimi (38:23):

Thank you for joining me on the badass CEO podcast. If you enjoyed. today's episode, please leave a review and see you next time. Thank you.