I would like to publish this in memory of my 97 year old Grumpa, Terence Colin Granville-Jones, who deserved to be loved to the end, and was.

His Last Shave - An account of a granddaughter’s love

When I think back now to the memories of the end, this is the last true memory of my Grumpa as the gentle, independent and fastidious man that he was:

It was before his full deterioration, his mind starting to return to him and a feeling of peace for us both. I sat and watched in awe of him as he insisted on taking up his razor to shave. He was weak but determined, so with a seat in front of a filled basin, he used one hand to support his other and raised the razor to his face. He was slow but methodical, contorting his face to achieve the right tension in his skin and working with such nimble practised ease, despite his preferred blunt Bic razor, that I couldn’t help but admire him. Repressing the automatic modern response to film an achievement of a loved one, I sat fully present. Something deep inside me knew that after 80+ years this may very well be the last time he ever performs his own shave and I felt honoured to witness it. I sat patiently with love in my heart as I took in what is now one of my most treasured intimate memories of my Grumpa.

As I lie awake at 3am, 7 months after the death of my beloved Grumpa, I notice as my mouth goes taut, my lower lip curls downwards and my body finally succumbs to the delayed shakes of grief.

This week would have been my Grumpa’s 98th birthday and I’m so grateful he is not still here to witness it. 

I say witness it as it would have been no celebration at this point.

One year ago, my Grumpa who was still independently living, turned 97 with grace and gratitude for his health and family, having moved to be close to me 17 months before. I had asked him to move close to me so that I could be a more regular support for him and enjoy as much of a relationship with him as I could. From cutting his hair to massaging his feet and clipping his nails, I took great pride in doing the things that meant so much to him....



[Listen to hear the rest of the account.]

Written and narrated by Jane Tarrant, Founder of LiNK BREATHING 
www.linkbreathing.co.uk
@linkbreathing (on all social channels)

Breathing retraining was life changing for my client with a restricted airway and paralysed vocal chord causing breathing difficulties, snoring and sleep apnoea. As many as 25 years after his accident, he was recommended to LiNK BREATHING by his  friend (also an existing breathing and awareness coaching client), because he felt it could help him.

After 25 years, he was able to not only start running but take up paddle boarding. The difference I received via text during his recent trip was, "Lost breath a few times but I have jumped back on in seconds rather than minutes."

Having been forced to sleep separately on a yoga mat downstairs in order to protect his family's sleep, he has been able to return to sharing a bed with his wife and even enjoy camping without feeling embarrassed by his snoring.

Previously waking every 40 minutes to 2.5 hours and being fearful to go back to sleep after waking from an episode of sleep apnoea, he now feels comfortable sleeping through the whole night, averaging 7.5 hours without waking. This is without the use of a CPAP machine.

Energy is now a norm, not a luxury. Relationships have improved.

My client is now living a "More happy and healthy life. More positive and hopeful life."

Can it really be as simple as retraining your breathing? Yes it can. For some it is a massive missing piece. For others it is an accessible starting point to improve other health foundations via better awareness.

What is breathing retraining?

Breathing retraining with LiNK BREATHING is the process of taking breathing habits back to basics, improving awareness, addressing unhealthy habits and gradually training new healthier breathing habits over time. Conscious breathing habits then influence subconscious breathing habits, resulting in powerful changes to mood, productivity, sleep, concentration, physical performance and relationships.

What are unhealthy breathing habits?

• Mouth breathing
• Snoring
• Sleep Apnoea
• Over breathing or hyperventilation
• Shallow breathing
• Fast breathing
• Upper chest breathing during rest
• Restricted diaphragm breathing 
• Intermittent breathing
• Regular sighing or yawning
• Regular stress breath holding e.g. during emails ' aka email apnoea'

We breathe more than 20,000 times per day. Imagine if those 20,000 were just slightly healthier each time. That is incremental improvement with very little effort.

How do I know if LiNK BREATHING could help?
Book a free 20 minute call via www.linkbreathing.co.uk for a free assessment.

How much does breathing retraining cost?
LiNK BREATHING is aware that not everyone has the same means or available time. Each client will receive bespoke advice as to the most cost effective or efficient route for them, based on their needs and situation. With options of varying price ranges, there is always an option to suit.

We are back for Season 2 of LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast.

In the spirit of getting started, Jane Tarrant asked Vicky Shilling, host of Just Start Now podcast to join her in a discussion of the importance of just getting started, incrementally, even if you don't have it all figured out yet.

Vicky Shilling is a Business Mentor helping health & wellness practitioners turn their expertise into income. She is also the host of Just Start Now podcast.
www.vickyshilling.com
@vicky.shilling
https://www.instagram.com/vicky.shilling/

Jane Tarrant is a Breathing & Awareness Coach, Thai Massage Therapist and Host of LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast.
www.linkbreathing.co.uk
@linkbreathing
https://www.instagram.com/linkbreathing/
https://www.facebook.com/linkbreathing/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/janetarrant/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/link-breathing

Note from Jane: "I'd love your feedback on this episode and feel free to share it far and wide. You could even review it if you are feeling particularly kind." 

The time has come for me to wrap up Season 1 of LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast in order to focus my attention on other areas in my life. 

Season 2 will be back in early 2021, but in the meantime, I am launching the website for my new business before the end of 2020. 

Anyone who has read my homepage on www.canidoitmyself.com, will know that I have been on a journey to live a happier, healthier and kinder life. 

Behind the scenes I have been studying day in day out, some for my own health benefits, some for my business. 

If you want to take a sneak peek at what I’ll be launching my business in, check out @linkbreathing on Instagram. If you don’t have Instagram, the website will be up before the end of 2020. 

Season 2, will be focusing more on health and wellbeing. It is an area which I feel is incredibly important to us all. 

Links from this episode:

You can check out my new business on Instagram @linkbreathing. My website will be launching before the end of 2020. To follow more of my podcasting journey visit: www.canidoitmyself.com

In this episode I mention that I was inspired by Dr Rangan Chatterjee. If you’d like to check out his podcast, FEEL BETTER LIVE MORE, during the break  I’ve included a link. I highly recommend it. 

Katie Ellis and I have something in common. We both realised when spending time with our grandparents how much they struggle dressing themselves. We realised they could live more of a life. For Katie, her grandmother was unable to dress herself and struggled with the loss of independence and dignity due to Parkinsons. My Grumpa is 96 and still dresses himself but has arthritis and frozen fingers, making buttons incredibly troublesome. We have both come up with solutions within our abilities. For me, it was to edit his current clothing. For Katie, it was to set up a stylish clothing brand which has adaptive designs, hidden fastenings (such as velcro) and makes self-dressing easier for those with dressing difficulties. Katie Ellis launched The Able Label.

Visit my website for an image of the shirt I edited with velcro fastenings for my 96 year old Grumpa on my late Grannie’s sewing machine. You can hear the audio of my Grumpa trying to do up his old shirt and then how delighted he was when doing up his velcro edited shirt. 

Have you thought about whether your family members, friends or neighbours need clothes which are easier to get dressed into?

Check out The Able Label for adaptive or velcro Women's Clothing or Men's Clothing.

Please note, I have become an affiliate of The Able Label because I love what they do. I may earn from qualifying purchases but it does not affect the price you pay.

I have benefitted personally from the work that Maisie Hill has put into educating herself and others on the menstrual cycle. In this conversation I share how her book, Period Power, acted as a catalyst for increased self-awareness and educated me on how my menstrual cycle provides the opportunity to achieve great things but also requires self-care at the appropriate times. 

Having recently recovered from chronic fatigue, I look back on my journey of recovery starting with an all important habit of tracking my body and mind. Even during my fatigue, I was able to better navigate life, making the most of my changing creativity and know when to drop the housework duties.

We think because we go through it and experience it that we know enough about it. This isn’t the case when it comes to our menstrual cycle. So many of us live without the self-awareness, knowledge or compassion to live more of a life.

Do you know why you pick fights with your partner near to your period? Do you realise that you secretly want to be alone? Maisie mentions during our conversation that her clients who track are more self-compassionate.

I start by asking Maisie about period pain which she experienced. Period pain is common, but not normal. It is normal to experience some discomfort or mild cramping but not pain which interferes with daily life. 

We talk about existing and past menstrual education and focus on avoiding pregnancy, where we miss out on how to use the cycle as a tool and how we can care for ourselves throughout the cycle. It can improve our relationships, creative process and careers if better understood. Again, I have experienced this first hand.

We discuss the difference between menstruating and pregnancy or breastfeeding where knowing how to self care and how to plan our time can be challenging because we lose our anchor. Maisie was so pleased when she finally started menstruating again.

The knowledge of the cycle allows us both to identify when we need to be alone. It has improved our relationships through being able to clearly communicate.

We discuss the pill. We discuss how it stops you ovulating when taking the combined pill so you don’t have a menstrual cycle. The period you experience is only a withdrawal bleed. We discuss how the pill can dampen down our experience of life. It can be a positive or negative depending on who we are. 

Finally, we recognise and share that it is a personal choice and only the woman taking the pill or choosing not to take it can decide what is best. The issue is, most of us don’t have the knowledge to make an informed decision. There should not be judgement or regret based on our own or others’ decisions. It is however important to educate ourselves and others on the important topic of menstruation and not shy away from it. With this knowledge, society’s influence as it is today will change to a more positive one surrounding periods and the menstrual cycle.  

If you decide to buy Period Power, join the Flow Collective or find another way to learn, you too can enjoy the power of knowing your cycle and yourself.

Maisie Hill can be contacted via:

Website: www.maisiehill.com

Instagram: _maisiehill_ 

Facebook: Maisie Hill

In case you are also interested, here’s a link to The Flow Collective.

For links to her book Period Power or that of The Red School - Wild Power, visit https://www.canidoitmyself.com/living-more-of-a-life-podcast/power-of-knowing-your-cycle-and-yourself

I'm giving away at

When you find your kettle in the fridge and your gym socks under your pillow - is it time to make a change?

In this episode we discuss how Sophie ended up co-founding FidlLeaf, an online wellbeing platform and which points in her life were the key factors towards it. We discuss self help books and how they can be extremely helpful when it is the right time, and how with current technology, an idea like hers can really flourish. 

What is FidlLeaf? FidlLeaf is a wellbeing and personal development platform. It uses Nobel-Prize nominated science to measure 10 key wellbeing areas and gives you the support and tools you need to work on your own self improvement.

Heads up - FidlLeaf FREEBIES: 

FidlLeaf want to do something special to show their appreciation after a successful crowdfunding campaign. So they are giving 50 FidlLeaf subscriptions to people who have been affected by Covid. Complete the application form on their website to nominate yourself or someone else. Closes 31st October 2020.

Links from this episode:

www.fidlleaf.com

Instagram: @sophcoulthard

LinkedIn: @Sophie Coulthard

Twitter: @sophcoulthard

In this episode I speak honestly about why I am putting out a different kind of episode. 

I have no food in the fridge
My house is a tip
I have loads on my mind
There is a lot of business preparation to do
I want to see and deliver food to my 96 year old grandpa

The list goes on...

This podcast is about living more of a life. We will always be failing to some degree in each area of our lives and that is OK. We just need to be mindful of what is more important to us and our values. We need to be more self-aware so we do not put unnecessary pressure ourselves. That is living more of a life. 

Episode Summary

Do you feel selfish if you look after yourself? Helen prided herself on being a giving person. From the biblical phrase, ‘love thy neighbour as you love yourself’, she could understand the love others bit, but she couldn’t grasp the love yourself bit. Surely loving others was good enough? 

Helen became a yes woman at work. It became really easy for people to give work to her. 

She didn’t want to stand out. She wanted to be liked but not to have attention on her. She tried to blend in. 

Helen experienced Repetitive Strain Injury aka RSI and burnout

She burned out at 30. Helen typed non stop, not taking breaks. She would begin to feel pain at night in her arms, wrists and shoulders. Then she started to feel pain whilst at work. When she could no longer type, she had to say something and get some help.

As a people pleaser, she was often very aware of what others needed but had very little awareness of herself.

Helen found herself in a 18 year coercive controlling relationship without recognising the signs

She got into a relationship with someone 10 years older than her at university. He was charming, as they often are and showered her with attention and affection.

He wanted to spend a lot of time alone with her. She would spend less time with friends. He would pick up on how her friends were not nice people, creating divisions between them. He said he felt that her family were being disrespectful towards him. He was separating her from her support network.

He needed his meals at a particular time. If they weren’t ready he’d fly into a rage.

Helen did all the cooking, shopping, cleaning, a full time job and initially a weekend job as well. 

From the outside, it looked like a happy relationship. They were affectionate towards each other in public. They felt they loved each other and needed each other. 

Her body confidence was pretty good, so a remark against her body didn’t bother her so much. A remark about her being selfish would really hurt, because everything she did was out of selflessness. 

If she did something he didn’t like, for example going out with friends, he didn’t necessarily tackle the actual problem, but he would get cross about little things like the soap was in the wrong place. She learned not to repeat her actions.

If you think you are in a coercive controlling relationship and are worried about your partner searching your internet history, use incognito function.

How to recognise coercive control - by healthline.com

Domestic Abuse- How to get help during lockdown

HELPLINE for Male victims of domestic abuse

HELPLINE for Female victims of domestic abuse

Policy Paper - Cross examination in the family court factsheet - gov.uk

'Abuse Is a Pattern.' Why These Nations Took the Lead in Criminalizing Controlling Behavior in Relationships - by Time

7 Reasons Why Women Don’t Leave - by counsellor Sandra Harewood

This is part 2 of episode 15.

In this episode I am joined by Lucy Burls, a friend and colleague from my estate agent days. Around 12 years ago, we worked together in our early 20s with no idea how much we’d struggle with our health in later years after giving too much out and not putting enough back in. We recently reconnected and shared our stories.

We discuss what can happen when we are ‘trained’ as children to give 110% in everything without the awareness of self-care.

In this particular episode we focus on Lucy’s story. From her early 20s working hard and partying hard, Lucy has transitioned into a very different way and quality of life in her mid 30s. 

For Lucy, 2020 has been an incredibly difficult year with Covid-19 restrictions being the least of it. Despite this, she’s a lot more positive in her current situation than she ever has been before. She recognises the need for the life lesson. 

Lucy had a life plan. Lucy was just about to try to start a family. Then one after another, Lucy experienced blow after blow.

We discuss:

-PoTS - Postural tachycardia syndrome (PoTS) - NHS

-Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / M.E. 

-Giving up a dream job due to illness

-Breast cancer

-IVF preparation due to risk to ovaries

-Stopping her menstrual cycle for chemo treatment

-Chemo & radiotherapy

-2 family members also being diagnosed with cancer

-2 unexpected deaths of her ‘inner circle’

We discuss what happens when you think you will have children, and then you have your menstrual cycle stopped being put into early menopause for cancer treatment. When you can’t go out for dinner and if you do, you can’t carry out a day’s work. When health means cancelling as bridesmaid for your best friend’s wedding and your new husband takes the strain of financially supporting you because you can’t work due to health.

Many of us grow up thinking that if we want something and work towards it enough, we can have what we want. That is all very well except when your health doesn’t allow it. We often don’t plan for or consider this. As Lucy so nicely recaps it “health is wealth”.

We discuss how once upon a time humans lived in a different way where holistic education wasn’t needed in the same way.

Links from this episode:

Lucy can be contacted via: 

Instagram @ s_h_o_c_k_asinelectric

Facebook @ Lucy Sophie Burls

In this episode I reference a previous episode with Dr Madlena Kantscheff, who also received a fatigue and cancer warning. The episode is S1: E3 - Dr Madlena Kantscheff - Should We Listen Before Disease?

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

In this episode I am joined by Lucy Burls, a friend and colleague from my estate agent days. Around 12 years ago, we worked together in our early 20s with no idea how much we’d struggle with our health in later years after giving too much out and not putting enough back in. We recently reconnected and shared our stories.

We discuss what can happen when we are ‘trained’ as children to give 110% in everything without the awareness of self-care.

In this particular episode we focus on Lucy’s story. From her early 20s working hard and partying hard, Lucy has transitioned into a very different way and quality of life in her mid 30s. 

For Lucy, 2020 has been an incredibly difficult year with Covid-19 restrictions being the least of it. Despite this, she’s a lot more positive in her current situation than she ever has been before. She recognises the need for the life lesson. 

Lucy had a life plan. Lucy was just about to try to start a family. Then one after another, Lucy experienced blow after blow.

We discuss:

-PoTS - Postural tachycardia syndrome (PoTS) - NHS

-Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / M.E. 

-Giving up a dream job due to illness

-Breast cancer

-IVF preparation due to risk to ovaries

-Stopping her menstrual cycle for chemo treatment

-Chemo & radiotherapy

-2 family members also being diagnosed with cancer

-2 unexpected deaths of her ‘inner circle’

We discuss what happens when you think you will have children, and then you have your menstrual cycle stopped being put into early menopause for cancer treatment. When you can’t go out for dinner and if you do, you can’t carry out a day’s work. When health means cancelling as bridesmaid for your best friend’s wedding and your new husband takes the strain of financially supporting you because you can’t work due to health.

Many of us grow up thinking that if we want something and work towards it enough, we can have what we want. That is all very well except when your health doesn’t allow it. We often don’t plan for or consider this. As Lucy so nicely recaps it “health is wealth”.

We discuss how once upon a time humans lived in a different way where holistic education wasn’t needed in the same way.

Links from this episode:

Lucy can be contacted via: 

Instagram @ s_h_o_c_k_asinelectric

Facebook @ Lucy Sophie Burls

In this episode I reference a previous episode with Dr Madlena Kantscheff, who also received a fatigue and cancer warning. The episode is S1: E3 - Dr Madlena Kantscheff - Should We Listen Before Disease?

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

Just step off the treadmill of life for a moment...what do you notice?

Tim Guest, founder of Consulting 51 is an Experienced Executive and Non Executive Director, Leadership Mentor, Business Strategist, Cultural Change Agent, Husband, Father and Speaker.

Tim hadn’t been feeling good for some time with ‘minor’ symptoms of insomnia, pain behind his eyes especially when lying down, high blood pressure and high glucose levels causing him to be told he was pre-diabetic. His tongue was also slightly bigger than usual. Because of the treadmill of life, Tim didn’t take time to give enough thought to his symptoms, until one day during lockdown when he had a little more time to consider whether his symptoms deserved more attention. 

Tim had a tumour on his pituitary gland. The majority of people don’t realise they’ve got it until they are dead. It is likely to take 10-15 years off his head. It causes internal organs to get bigger. Diabetes, stroke or heart attack are possible causes of death. If Tim hadn’t stopped for a moment and taken stock, he would likely have experienced these results. 

Tim used to put insomnia down to stress, as if that was OK. An acceptable thing to live with. Since this life changing event, he has been able to review his life. He used to use sleeping tablets every day in order to function because every day was ‘important’. He felt like he was on the treadmill of life. There was no time for any thought. 

fter the surgery he didn’t check his email for a week or his phone for four days. Although he wasn’t feeling great after neurosurgery with a hole in his skull, he felt that his mind had improved for ideas and creativity.

He no longer keeps his phone in the bedroom, he avoids the news and emails first thing in the morning and he keeps a notebook with him to note down ideas that come to him.

The procedure made Tim realise how much we take our health for granted. We are lucky if we can get out of our beds and go about our daily lives, because many people can’t. He relied on his wife to rein him in when he felt he wanted to push himself to get back into work. 

We discuss my own concussion and the realisation that our brains allow us to do everything. When our brain is not in good form, we are affected in every way. 

Tim believes in positivity and is now focusing on not getting stressed about things which don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. We discuss the stress caused by a regimented morning routine especially with a family, rather creating a structure which doesn’t include unhelpful practices.

We discuss improving quality of life and length of life by considering holistic options. We discuss breath and how Tim already incorporates this into his life and with his children at bedtime. 

During this episode, Tim mentions two books: 

How To Be A Productivity Ninja

You're Hired! How To Get Employed

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

Note: There is swearing in this podcast. You may also shed a tear.

In today’s episode I have an incredibly in depth and honest conversation with Bex Gunn about pregnancy loss, miscarriage and infertility. We even throw in there some chat about periods and seminal fluid allergies. 

Bex Gunn is a brave and inspiring woman, who I’m proud to call my second cousin. I only wish I had got to know her better before now- better late than never! Bex joined forces with Laura and created The Worst Girl Gang Ever, a podcast for all the warrior women out there who have suffered miscarriage and pregnancy loss. They host a highly successful podcast which received 1000 downloads and over 50 iTunes reviews in week 1!

Women are not just reproductive vessels

It is important to note that not every woman wants to be a mother. Women are not just reproductive vessels and having a baby does not define who we are or make us more of a woman. Some women never get the chance, some choose not to. Some wish they never had. For some having children is all they ever want to achieve in life. 

Who do you know who benefits from these taboos?

To have so many taboos around this subject is crazy. I’m sure everyone of us can think of a couple who we assume haven’t tried yet when they are struggling with fertility issues or have decided not to have children or a couple who is probably trying and likely has experienced disappointments and pregnancy loss without so much as a word about it. 

Who does fertility issues, miscarriage and pregnancy loss affect? Employers and men listen up.

We are all completely uneducated on fertility and pregnancy loss. If you so much as know a women, you will at some point in your life be affected by fertility issues, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, whether that be as a partner, family member, employer or any other relationship.

"Have you had a pain or bleeding?"

Three kids in and Bex was entirely unprepared for the question at her 12 week scan, “have you had any pain or bleeding Rebecca”. 

Bex wants to smash the taboo surrounding miscarriage and pregnancy loss. She wants others to know that women should not feel shame or isolation.

There is a complete lack of awareness surrounding trying for a baby

At 36 years old you might know the statistics, (1 in 4 pregnancies result in miscarriage), but because you don’t hear about it and you don’t see it, you think those statistics don’t apply to you. Bex thought you were either one of those women who miscarried or you weren’t. She realised how naive she was. After spending the formative years of her life worrying that she may not be able to have children, she tried acupuncture which brought on a period and had 3 successful pregnancies. It was her fourth where it all went wrong.

For the rest of the description, please visit https://www.canidoitmyself.com/living-more-of-a-life-podcast

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

Catherine Cho is the author of Inferno: A Memoir. 

We don’t have to have experienced stress induced postpartum psychosis to benefit from what Catherine Cho and I discuss in this episode. We talk about anxiety, sleep deprivation and social pressure and how these can be incredibly damaging… 

Catherine experienced stress induced postpartum psychosis believed to have been brought on by the stress of anxiety, lack of sleep and strong cultural pressure. She was sectioned for 2 weeks and separated from her breastfeeding son when she started to see the devil’s eyes in her baby’s eyes. She had a complete lack of awareness of time and reality.

We discuss the fear of being a new parent and the vulnerability of the early days when everyone has an opinion on what is best for your child. She didn’t feel that her family or her husband’s family were particularly traditional, but this all changed upon the birth of their baby. In Korean culture, there is a 100 day celebration which marks a point of survival. Catherine didn’t see this day with her son. There were many months of recovery including depression and repairing and rebuilding a relationship with her child. 

What started as a notebook during Catherine’s time in the psychiatric ward during postpartum psychosis, turned into the most incredibly written hyper aware book allowing us to understand how elements of her past have affected her and how through a gradual process of hanging on to her simple written truths, she regained her mental health. Catherine has been able to live a more aware life going forward. 

When we delve into Catherine’s past which she shares in the book. It makes you realise how little you know about someone, especially when it comes to trauma buried in their past. As she says, “Everything leaves its mark”. Her family and closest friends weren’t aware of her previous abusive relationship. Even her own husband whom she had told everything to hadn’t really fully understood her past until he read her book.

You feel like you’re there on every step that Catherine took. 

Finally, we talk about when mother’s don’t put themselves as a priority upon having a child. We recognise the sense that as a mother you ‘have to be’ this unconditional ever giving parent and sacrifices of every nature have to be made. We look at the never ending guilt that mothers feel for whatever they are doing is lacking somehow. The pressure put on us by society, often without the support of a genuinely supportive community around us creates an incredibly difficult experience for many women who are completely unprepared for what might happen after childbirth based on their past as well as their mental and physical health.

If you’d like to contact Catherine, she is available on:

Twitter: catkcho

Instagram: catherinekcho

Linkedin: Catherine Cho

The book Inferno: A Memoir by Catherine Cho is available to purchase here

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

Following on from:  Beth Hope - Resilience Following Trauma - Part 1

This conversation has been split into 2 parts so that those who want to listen to Beth’s story and understand about resilience following trauma can listen to part 1. If it really resonates with you or if you wish to know more of the story and steps which can be taken to help others, part 2 is for you.

In this episode we discuss how when you have been through a trauma, you are not alone. We learn about being open about what we need from another person. We discuss support groups for how they can help and how they can trigger. We need to be aware of our triggers so we can navigate them. 

We consider the language of communication for example how the simple question of ‘how are you?’ can be extremely overwhelming. Tweaking this to ‘how are you TODAY?’ or ‘how are you THIS MORNING?’ enables a less overwhelming response. It also allows us to voice when we have bad days in amongst generally good days. The general question glosses over our life. 

We retouch on the self-critic and how this can be linked with our menstrual cycle. Some of us will find our self-critic shows up more in the premenstrual phase. It could be helpful to know when we feel a certain way or when we struggle mentally. By tracking this against our schedule or bodily cycles, we can have more perspective when we start to tackle it with or without the help of others.

I mention a podcast where The Red School (who wrote Wild Power) are interviewed on a men’s podcast - the details of this are: A Man’s Guide To The Menstrual Cycle by The Great Man Within.

We also discuss how asking someone else what you can do to support them is crucial to give the support they need. Opening communication on what your needs are can help avoid arguments, negative self talk and friction.

Finally, we talk about how Beth navigated dating her current partner based on open communication, following sexual assault, therapy and 18 months of initial self work. I hear about the fear of “when do I tell someone what I’ve been through”. She knew her value, her worth and what she wanted from her future partner.

As part of the conversation, Beth brings up and recommends Option B - by Sheryl Sandburg - author of Lean In. Option B is about resilience, grief and trauma.

Option B can be viewed and purchased here.

Beth can be contacted via:

Website: www.andhope.co.uk

Linkedin: Beth Hope 

Instagram: @andhopelifecoaching

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

The majority of people have experienced some form of trauma. In this episode we discuss dealing with trauma far down the line, following repression. It is possible to rebuild a ‘broken’ core to a stronger, more resilient core. We need to raise our awareness of negative self-talk or our inner critic. 

In this episode we discuss the aftermath of Beth’s specific trauma of being sexually assaulted. She was in complete denial 6 months after followed by 7 years of repression. She wasn’t connected with it or ready to face it. The fact that this trauma was hidden from loved ones around them is not uncommon. Beth went through CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and talked this through with her family as part of her recovery. Like with any relationship, she believes finding the right therapist is key to making progress.

Note: we don’t go into detail on the sexual assault itself, this episode is based on what followed.

Beth Hope is an executive confidence coach at &hope - helping others to rework their mindset and rebuild their authentic confidence. Confidence affects us in all parts of our lives. 

By helping others, it doesn’t mean the work on herself is done. She helps others with mental fitness. We still get mentally ‘out of breath’. We can’t control life, we can only control ourselves and our mindsets and how we respond to what happens in our lives.

Our inner critics can be very destructive, but they should be more constructive. Realising the power of our inner critic when we hear her say “no-one is ever going to believe you”, is incredible. When those around us have awareness too, we have a greater chance of getting the help we need, obtaining our own awareness is crucial.

We can tune into our inner critic. Rather than taking our negative thoughts about ourselves as fact, we can look for evidence and start our journey of living more of a life. We are never fully ‘done’. It is important to remember that it is constant work, it does get easier and it will become more automatic. 

Beth can be contacted via:

Website: www.andhope.co.uk

Linkedin: Beth Hope 

Instagram: @andhopelifecoaching

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

In this episode I am joined by Elinor Moshe, an ambitious and driven leader and dedicated mentor in the construction industry.

It is important for us to review our relationship with success, mentoring and our future selves. We seek out mentors to hear what we don’t want to hear as well as for encouragement. They are trusted advisors in our career and life.

In this episode we discuss why we shouldn’t give power to our mentors. Expecting someone else to fix you or make you achieve success is a false sense of expectation. This allows them to enable you, causing you further damage. We all have mentors, yet they don’t even know they are our mentors in most cases. In fact, often neither do we. Many of us feel societal pressure to seek out a mentor, especially in business, because we don’t feel we will ‘succeed’ without them. You shouldn’t give power to your mentor, but simply consider their advice.

We also discuss failure. You have to fail somewhere to achieve somewhere else. There is no success without failure. 

Raising our awareness of who is a mentor in our lives and how much power we give to them allows us to proceed with greater trust in ourselves and ultimately we can begin to live more of a life.

We discuss two books within this podcast. 

-Elinor Moshe's book “Constructing Your Career”

-Elizabeth Day’s book “How To Fail”

You can contact Elinor Moshe via:
https://www.instagram.com/elinormoshe_/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/elinor-moshe/

www.elinormoshe.com

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

In this episode Shanelle Clapham and I discuss leadership towards better health, sustainability and productivity. Shanelle has just introduced a 4 day work week for her entire team. We discuss how this is done and what benefits can come of it. We also discuss parental leave especially in relation to men being able to take time off to care for their children as well as supporting their partners’ careers long term, and the STIGMAS around this.

In the UK, we are very fortunate to benefit from Shared Parental Leave (SPL) and Shared Parental Pay (ShPP), which came into effect in December 2014. So few dads take this leave and although this may be because the mother wants or needs the time, it is also because of how we are perceived by our peers and our colleagues. Other countries still have a long way to go to provide this flexibility for modern families. 

Shanelle and I are both mothers of single children. Our husbands are heavily involved in the raising of our children and we both have career ambitions.

Shanelle runs her own company and has finally made the decision to put her entire team on a 4 day week for the benefit of health, happiness and family life. For myself, having dropped to 4 days a week during the intense breastfeeding and sleepless period of my daughter’s first year, I have been able to experience first hand how beneficial it can be having 1 day which can be used for self-care and better relationships with my husband and daughter. 

It is not to say that everyone should change to a 4 day week, but have we even asked the question? Could we possibly improve the lives of ourselves and our colleagues by making small changes which provide the opportunity to be present in other areas of our lives where the usual 9-5pm (or increasingly common 8.30-6pm) Monday-Friday commutable day job restricts us?

This is not a new idea. The Independent published an article HISTORY OF THE TWO-DAY WEEKEND PROVIDES LESSONS FOR A FOUR-DAY WORKING WEEK explaining more about where the weekend came from.   

In this episode Shanelle mentions Charlotte Lockhart, who co-founded the 4 day week with Andrew Barnes. If you are interested in learning more about the 4 day week concept (or something more flexible than you have been led to believe is the only way) and how the flexible work revolution can increase productivity, profitability, and well being, as well as create a sustainable future, I have included a link to Andrew’s book:

The 4 Day Week: by Andrew Barnes

If you’d like to check out Shanelle’s company as a not for profit needing assistance with fundraising or marketing, visit parachutedigitalmarketing.com.au. 

As always, you can access me on Instagram @incrementaljane or via my website www.canidoitmyself.com.

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

In this episode I speak with Niraj Kapur, cohost of the THRIVE IN SALES podcast, which brings together the world of sales training and wellbeing. Niraj is also the author of two Amazon bestselling sales books, Everybody Works in Sales and The Easy Guide To Sales For Business Owners.

Niraj’s life has crumbled in certain areas whilst other areas have thrived. His interpretation of success has dramatically changed. He believes that to achieve great things in life, you often have to endure hardships.

We discuss the concept of giving before you have money. Many of us probably like the idea of giving to others, but we put it off until we can ‘afford’ to. What if we can’t afford not to? If this has you intrigued, check out the episode. Niraj believes if you are generally interested in people, it just makes everything better. Call it karma or good vibes.

We also discuss self-care and self-help and how unwilling men can be to talk about it, at least openly and certainly publicly. When men commented on Niraj’s mental health post, they did so privately via inbox message whilst women openly spoke about it publicly. 

Niraj recognises that as a man over the age of 45 there is a feeling that they become irrelevant in society, reflected in suicide rates.

He knows men often feel uncomfortable asking for help, but he recommends the following books: 

Secrets of Health and Happiness by J. P. Vaswani

Life's Amazing Secrets:How to Find Balance and Purpose in Your Life by Gaur Gopal Das

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

Simon, a serial entrepreneur, is now a business coach in his mid 50s having started 5 businesses and worked in a number of different companies. This podcast is relevant to anybody, whether you are a business owner or not. 

We discuss how 80% of the business owners Simon speaks to don’t know what they want to achieve. Do we want something enough to put the effort in? And how powerful is being held accountable on our journey?

We discuss the perception that we can’t do something because we would need qualifications at an older age. Do we actually want what we think we want, or do we want the feeling it will bring us. Is there an alternative way to get there which we will put the effort in for?

Rather than regret what we didn’t make time for before, could we use what we learned for doing greater things going forward for others? 

We also discuss the concept of the watchers, the whingers and the winners in a situation like COVID-19.  

Simon Ellson is the Founder and Head Coach at ActionCOACH West Herts, as well as Senior Managing Partner at ActionCOACH Global. He is a father and grandfather and a generally all round good guy. He realised later in life just how important family and friends really are.

#actioncoachuk

P.S. If you like this episode, please share it with others individually or via social media. Thanks!

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

Is it possible that money can dampen your creativity and negatively affect values? In our case, a lack of excess money and our perception of money and waste has forced us to get creative, but has also brought greater enjoyment and stronger values than the money could have bought us. Additionally it has brought community.

In this episode I interview Matt Butcher, the musician and producer of the music in this podcast. Matt, a father of two, is a sound engineer, electronics engineer and musician. He has worked with bands like Gorillaz, Blur, The Good, the Bad & the Queen; Pulp, Morcheeba, Echo & the Bunnymen, Jack Garrat, Delirious, Madder Rose, Turin Brakes, Richard Hawley, Spiritualized, Iggy Pop, Graham Coxon and The Bravery. 

Matt has just completed the renovation of a 1950s Maestrovox Organ for a friend and is busy working through a vintage collection of musical devices. He loves fixing and repairing vintage equipment, or in fact pretty much anything electrical. If it makes noise, even better.

Not only this, he joins me in a love of reclaimed materials in a bid to save the environment, save money and fill our time with positive stuff, let alone enjoying something unique and beautiful at the end, which money can’t buy.

We often get stuck in what we’ve always done. By utilising our time more wisely, we can open up new doors and find new ways to enjoy life. In many cases, this could become our future work. Take Matt’s daughter for example who is already making hobby horses at age 10. Without the influence of Matt’s father on him and his influence on his two children, it is much less likely she would have developed a love for creating something herself at such a young age, rather than relying on the latest version from a shop.

Finding the right community is powerful for living the life you want to live, and I’m hugely grateful that I met Matt and his wife. We still have many years of similar values, interests and conversations to enjoy.

In this episode we also discuss OLIO the foodsharing app. Sign up if you ever waste food. Even something opened or half used. Someone, somewhere will value it. 

If you would like to approach Matt for unique podcast music or video music (which isn’t on the popular free sites) or if you have some vintage equipment he might be able to restore for you, get in touch via:

Email: matt.butcher@me.com or Facebook doghairstate or Instagram doghairstate.

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

Earlier this week, someone I haven’t spoken to for 6 years reached out to me. They have been following my blog and felt that I was the right person for them to speak to having known my own experiences previously. I have asked their permission to repeat their story for the benefit of others, albeit anonymously. This message is not gender specific.

This is the post I put out via Facebook on 8th July 2020. I wasn’t sure if anyone would contact me, but I wanted to make myself available to others and due to the current situation I couldn’t think of a better way:

“Hello all - I'm asking because no-one else does...

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

At age 59, we discuss her journey of setting up a business, going through grief and cancer and what she has learned to change in her life to achieve what she sees as optimal health, whilst still working full time. We all get warnings, but how many of us are listening to our bodies?

We are raised learning that everything in our lives is a priority but not ourselves. We feel that if I take care of myself before others I am selfish.

Dr Madlena Kantscheff’s story is a good warning to us all to take a moment and listen to what are bodies are telling us. If we found we had cancer tomorrow, would we listen differently than we do today? She recovered and had the opportunity to use cancer as her teacher, but she was lucky. We don’t all get that extra chance. Is our body at ease, or are we heading for disease?

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

In this episode Catri Barrett and I discuss how we hold ourselves back from living more of a life. We discuss whether coaching is the right approach and what to do if this isn't affordable or right for you.

Catri Barrett is a life and business coach, founder of The Curiosity Club podcast and a qualified yoga teacher. Catri helps mostly but not exclusively women become more curious and courageous in all that they do.

We talk about self-awareness and self-development in a world where it is becoming more accepted but where there are still stigmas attached to receiving help, or feeling like it is needed.

I've been hugely fortunate to benefit from Catri's podcast, The Curiosity Club, and it came at just the right time. Do check it out if you feel that it would be helpful for you, or maybe someone you know. To find out more about her coaching or to get in touch, visit www.catribarrett.com. She is also contactable via Instagram @catribarrett.

P.S. It is worth noting that it is likely you know someone who needs to hear this. Even if it is not for you, pass it on. You already know who that person is and it could be the first positive step.

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant

In this episode, Dr Niall McCann and I discuss how living more of a life is making sure that the life you lead has a positive impact.
Dr Niall McCann is not only a National Geographic Explorer, but an influential Conservationist, TV presenter and an inspired Biologist - oh and a dad...

He is a Biologist because “it is beautiful and it is fascinating”. He can think of nothing better than to study the world around him and the animals that live in it. With this in mind he has dedicated his career to the conservation of various species around the world and his life goal is to create a national park.

Niall provided a TEDx talk in 2014 which itself is hugely inspirational: Notes from the conservation front line: Niall McCann at TEDxCardiff

Coming from a family of Biologists, a Geographer and Glaciologist, Niall has been fed a positive message with regards to natural history and preserving the world around him. 

Niall McCann’s main role is Conservation Director of National Park Rescue, but that doesn’t stop him from moonlighting as a wildlife TV presenter, lobbying governments, being a Trustee for the Wallacea Trust and volunteering for the Brecon Mountain Rescue Team.

Niall, a husband and father of one, is newly balancing an intrepid life of exploration, research, advising governments and pushing for change, with being the best part of a parenting team that he can be. 

During our discussion, we learn that employees are powerful and can vote for change. Entrepreneurs have the opportunity to make hugely positive change quickly, by being sufficiently passionate and refusing to work for a company which is not positive for the world. Grass roots movements as well as government policy are both key in making a positive impact. Governments need to be made aware of various environmental or health issues and each person has power to make this happen. 

Find the idea of making a positive impact overwhelming?

Niall shares a number of small changes we can make in our lives which make more of a positive impact.

Niall can be contacted via LinkedIn: @Niall McCann
He is also on Twitter @NiallPMcCann

Contact LIVING MORE OF A LIFE podcast host, Jane Tarrant:
Website: www.canidoitmyself.com
Instagram: @incrementaljane
LinkedIn: Jane Tarrant
Facebook: Jane Tarrant