Rebel Podcast: Life and Work on Your Terms

Embracing Vulnerability with Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal

August 30, 2023 Kyle Roed, The HR Guy Season 4 Episode 167
Embracing Vulnerability with Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal
Rebel Podcast: Life and Work on Your Terms
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Rebel Podcast: Life and Work on Your Terms
Embracing Vulnerability with Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal
Aug 30, 2023 Season 4 Episode 167
Kyle Roed, The HR Guy

In this episode, Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal shares her insights on resilience and the surprising ways her work resonates with people. She highlights the diverse elements of her content and how it impacts individuals in different ways. Despite her efforts to distill her message to its essence, she discovers that what speaks to people varies greatly. Dr. Taryn Marie emphasizes the importance of personal connection and how her work allows individuals to see themselves in it.

Imagine facing the trials of life without fear, but rather with a resilience that empowers you to bounce back from adversity stronger than ever. Our latest episode of the Rebel HR Podcast is a deep-dive into resilience, as we reconnect with Dr. Taryn Marie Stasekaw, author of the highly successful book, 'The Five Practices of Highly Resilient People'. We explore her groundbreaking ideas on resilience and how these practices can act as a lifeline in challenging times. Our very own co-host, Kyle Rode, shares a heartfelt account of how Dr. Stasekaw's book served as his beacon of hope during a personal crisis.

In the heart of our conversation, we bring you face to face with the concept of vulnerability and its paramount role in fostering resilience. We navigate through the nuances of aligning our internal and external selves to better manage life's adversities and transformations. Dr. Stasekaw passionately argues that resilience shouldn’t be seen as a fear-inducing concept, but rather as a solution to life's struggles. She beautifully illustrates how embracing vulnerability allows us to be seen and understood more deeply, and how it enables us to seek and receive help when we need it the most.

Before we bid adieu, we take a thoughtful look at how the principles of vulnerability and authenticity can be applied in the professional world. We dissect the conditioning we receive in professional settings and brainstorm ways to shift to a culture that encourages openness and authenticity. We equip you with the tools to discern between genuine and performative vulnerability, and how to apply it in your work and life. As we wrap up this enlightening episode, we express our gratitude to Dr. Stasekaw and reflect on the powerful insights she shared. So, join us on this transformative journey as we redefine resilience, vulnerability, and connection in a way you've never heard before.


Dr. Taryn Marie’s Profile

linkedin.com/in/taryn-marie-stejskal

Website

Email

thinktaryn@gmail.com

Twitter

Support the Show.

Rebel HR is a podcast for HR professionals and leaders of people who are ready to make some disruption in the world of work. Please connect to continue the conversation!

https://twitter.com/rebelhrguy
https://www.facebook.com/rebelhrpodcast
http://www.kyleroed.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kyle-roed/

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Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal shares her insights on resilience and the surprising ways her work resonates with people. She highlights the diverse elements of her content and how it impacts individuals in different ways. Despite her efforts to distill her message to its essence, she discovers that what speaks to people varies greatly. Dr. Taryn Marie emphasizes the importance of personal connection and how her work allows individuals to see themselves in it.

Imagine facing the trials of life without fear, but rather with a resilience that empowers you to bounce back from adversity stronger than ever. Our latest episode of the Rebel HR Podcast is a deep-dive into resilience, as we reconnect with Dr. Taryn Marie Stasekaw, author of the highly successful book, 'The Five Practices of Highly Resilient People'. We explore her groundbreaking ideas on resilience and how these practices can act as a lifeline in challenging times. Our very own co-host, Kyle Rode, shares a heartfelt account of how Dr. Stasekaw's book served as his beacon of hope during a personal crisis.

In the heart of our conversation, we bring you face to face with the concept of vulnerability and its paramount role in fostering resilience. We navigate through the nuances of aligning our internal and external selves to better manage life's adversities and transformations. Dr. Stasekaw passionately argues that resilience shouldn’t be seen as a fear-inducing concept, but rather as a solution to life's struggles. She beautifully illustrates how embracing vulnerability allows us to be seen and understood more deeply, and how it enables us to seek and receive help when we need it the most.

Before we bid adieu, we take a thoughtful look at how the principles of vulnerability and authenticity can be applied in the professional world. We dissect the conditioning we receive in professional settings and brainstorm ways to shift to a culture that encourages openness and authenticity. We equip you with the tools to discern between genuine and performative vulnerability, and how to apply it in your work and life. As we wrap up this enlightening episode, we express our gratitude to Dr. Stasekaw and reflect on the powerful insights she shared. So, join us on this transformative journey as we redefine resilience, vulnerability, and connection in a way you've never heard before.


Dr. Taryn Marie’s Profile

linkedin.com/in/taryn-marie-stejskal

Website

Email

thinktaryn@gmail.com

Twitter

Support the Show.

Rebel HR is a podcast for HR professionals and leaders of people who are ready to make some disruption in the world of work. Please connect to continue the conversation!

https://twitter.com/rebelhrguy
https://www.facebook.com/rebelhrpodcast
http://www.kyleroed.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kyle-roed/

Kyle Roed:

This is the rebel HR Podcast, the podcast about all things innovation in the people space. I'm Kyle ROED. Let's start the show. Welcome back rebel HR listeners extremely excited to have our guest back again, we are speaking with Dr. Taryn Marie stayskal. We spoke with her back in episode 139, all about resilience. And she is here to talk to us a little bit more about the resilience journey. Welcome back to the podcast.

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

Hi, welcome back. I'm delighted to be here.

Kyle Roed:

Well, we're extremely excited to have you. And we had such a wonderful conversation here a few months ago that I wanted to pick up the dialogue where we left off, because I felt like we were just starting to scratch the surface of some of these these really critical topics. And so a lot has happened since we released that podcast back in February of 2023. And including the release of of your book, and so I'd like to maybe start with a question on how how's the book release God.

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

Thanks for asking about that. I really appreciate it, as the book was released on April 18. And so at the time of this recording, it's it's just been about two months, it'll be a little bit longer when the recording comes out. And the book actually debuted as the number three book in the world, on Barnes and Noble, which was just amazing, because Arnold Schwarzenegger, his memoir was coming out, I think, a week or two following. And so this book, the five practices of highly resilient people, debuted ahead of Arnold's memoir. Now, he caught up pretty quickly, as you know, he was like, I'll be back. And he was. Well, but for this book to debut as a number three book in the world, we hit number one in a variety of categories, personal growth and business. It's it's just been a tremendous, tremendous journey. And, you know, for anyone who has ever written a book or dreamed about writing a book, or tried to write a book, you know, my dream, and I think the dream of many authors is that just one person that's not genetically related to us will want to read this book. And so to have lines of people waiting to get their book signed to get to travel all over the United States and the world we talking about this book and Tim, have this sort of ever expanding momentum around conversations relative to resilience and change and leadership and vulnerability and authenticity and mental health and well being it's just been a tremendous honor.

Kyle Roed:

Absolutely. And, and, you know, it's, it's, I just feel like I've seen you everywhere. So, you know, the publicity tour, it's just been exciting to see the reaction out there. And, and, you know, what, it's really hard to compete with with Arnold, I mean, come on, you know, indeed, he's a fixture and in many industries, and so but hey, to, you know, to be in the in the same sentence, I think is, is pretty exciting. So, and clearly. So clearly you have you've hit a nerve, or you have you have you have touched into something that people feel like they need some help, or they need a voice to help them through. So as you've been, as you've been going through some of the reactions from the book, and as you've been, as you've been on your tour, what have been some takeaways that maybe surprise you about the the reaction to the topics of resilience?

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

You know, what I think I can one of the things, if not the thing that I think I continue to be surprised by is the array of elements of this content and how it resonates with people. And what I mean by that is, when I'm on a stage as a keynote speaker, when I'm doing a book talk or signing books, people often say this really resonated with me, or this changed my life, or this changed my thinking, or I had this profound aha moment where my perspective shifted in a perceptible and in meaningful way. And and so I'll say to people, what was that moment or what was that piece of content? And then, and what surprises me to answer your question is that it's never the same thing. You know, because I've really tried to trim down my remarks from On May you really get to the essence of what what speaks to people. And I and I know that there are a series of things that are very important to people on their journey. And it's, you know, 15, to 25 things that resonate with different people in different ways. And so that has surprised me. And what I love about it is that people can really put on this work, like put on a cloak of this work and see themselves in it, and that it resonates with them. And it resonates with the essence of who they are. And there's just not one sort of silver bullet, but for each person, there's something that's incredibly personal, and meaningful, that then shifts their perspectives in a in an incredibly powerful way. And that's been so surprising and also incredibly invigorating.

Kyle Roed:

I think that's, that's a fascinating insight. You know, I and I, I think, you know, on a personal level, I had a very interesting reaction to the book as well. And so so we we recorded back, I think it would have been probably four or five months before, before the book was released. And in the time that that happened, I went through a divorce myself, and I was, I remember, going through this experience, I was not expecting to go through that. But I remember pulling out the podcast episode that we recorded and listening to it again, because I was like, I need to hear, I need to hear how to be resilient in this moment. Right. Like it was, it was completely unexpected, something that I was not planning for, it wasn't in my life plan. Right, you know, but that's, that's life. And it happens. And so, you know, from my standpoint, that part of it was around just understanding that I'm not alone. And and the fact that, you know, being being resilient and facing these, this adversity is not a unique human condition to me in this moment, right. We're all in this together and ultimately prompted me to tap into my, my network and my family in a different context that I had, that I had previously. So that was from one reader to you. That was my one of my takeaways as I was going through it.

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

Well, you know, I love that. And one of the reasons, if not the reason that I did this work, to, really at its core, I mean, what is resilience at its core, it's, how do we as humans, effectively face the inevitable moments of challenge, change and complexity, even when we didn't expect those moments, or especially when we didn't expect those moments, when we feel broadsided or blindsided by what shows up in our lives. And what I wanted to understand is how do people most effectively face challenge? What are the things in particular that they do on top of their mindset. And I wanted to understand this, because I wanted this book, to be a thing that would ensure that no one ever had to go through a challenge alone. Because I know what it's like to go through hard things, feeling alone. You know, I think you know what that's like, a lot of people know what that what that's like. And it's, you know, it's so disorienting to be in these moments. And then to feel like, we've got to do it on our own, or there isn't someone that we can turn to, or the fear of peeling back that veil and being honest about what's happening in our lives that the threat of what that would mean or the sense of embarrassment, or people will look at us or perceive us perceive us differently, you know, sort of keeps us trapped in our vulnerability cage. And so I wanted this book to be a thing that would ensure that no one ever had to go through these difficult moments, you know, alone because at least they would have this book, this blueprint for how to for how to go about doing that. And, you know, one one story in this book that hit the cutting the cutting room floor, if you will, wasn't included in the book was that, you know, an outtake is actually a story about me going out to a bar in New York City in Soho with a girlfriend and a guy making constant eye contact with me across the bar. And I was Yeah, I was I was married, I was married at the time, this was the end of end of last year and of 2020. I, too, have gone through a divorce in that intervening time. So we have that we have that in common. And, you know, so as a married woman, you know, I'm trying not to make eye contact. And so he sends us drinks across the bar. And then he comes around, you know, to talk to us. And, you know, pretty, pretty quickly, we got a peek behind what was really happening for him, and he just broken up with his girlfriend. So I was asking him questions about that, and how are you doing, and he felt like she was the love of his life. And, you know, we keep talking, and he's very sad about this breakup. And we keep talking. And he reveals that, in fact, after he had finished his dinner, he was eating alone across the bar, he was meeting with a drug dealer, to purchase enough drugs to then go home and commit suicide. And him sending us drinks was essentially like sort of one of his last acts of goodwill. And it appears that it also saved his life. Because in our conversations, he talked about how much pain he was in and how he felt like such a failure for this relationship ending and how exhausted he was by being a CEO and the head of his own company. And he felt incredibly alone. And he didn't feel like he could tell anyone how he was feeling because it was so dramatically different from what he thought other people's experience was. And I had this viewpoint that I talked about in the book, which is for us, as humans, it's unique, versus universal, or universal versus unique, and that we think we're more different as humans than we really are. And so the universal elements of this is, we have all experienced disappointment, rejection, loss, pain, suffering, that ending of a relationship that, you know, took us by surprise, or we didn't expect. And so that's the universal, we have all felt those emotions as humans. And the uniqueness is then the overlay in that nuance of what that experience was for each of us individually. And going back to this idea of people going through things alone, and mental health and well being and how we think about that for ourselves individually, these individually, our families, our communities, our peers, our teams, our direct reports inside of organizations, you know, he was feeling profoundly alone, and that no one else had experienced what he had experienced. And what I was able to say to him in that moment, was look around this bar, you think that you're the only one in here that has experienced these things, every single person in here has experienced these things every single person has been in a moment, that's so profoundly difficult, that all they could do was just breathe in and breathe out, like just getting oxygen in and expelling it out of their body was the full complement of what they could do. And you you're not the only one, in fact, you know, welcome to being human. This is what we've all experienced. And I remember he was really dumbfounded by that, like, really everyone here, everyone here, everyone here has had this experience. And that sense that that shift that happened for him in that moment, of instead of seeing himself as an outlier, and instead seeing himself as someone who had entered this community of humanity, and that this was not something to end his life over. But to see it as a rite of passage that we go through in a in a universal way that that saved his life.

Kyle Roed:

Wow, that I mean, that is that's an extremely powerful story, but I think it really, I mean, it highlights the power of talking openly about these challenges. Right? Yes. And being being vulnerable enough as individuals to, to ask for help. And, and, and to be open and and, you know, kudos to you for for working through that. Although it sounds like maybe it didn't start in the most favorable context for you. So I'm curious in that moment, as you were, I mean,

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

just be careful. Just be Careful who you buy drinks for that moral of that story where you never know, if you buy me drinks, what you're gonna get, I might just save your life.

Kyle Roed:

All right. Do you want me to put that link in there so that you don't have to buy drinks anymore? And then you can? That's that. Yeah, there you go. There's a Calendly invite for that, too. Yeah.

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

There is something to that, though. When we talk about asking for help. You know, back when back when we recorded the episode, I don't know if I talked about this. But it was around the time when we recorded the first episode and released it. There was a like a fighter, I don't know if you follow like MMA or UFC? Like, I definitely don't. But there was a fighter who had committed suicide in England. And there was another fighter who was saying, whenever I tell the story, people are like, Oh, you mean this person in that person? I'm like, yes, those people. And, and so there was another person on camera, who was saying, like, look, I would rather have my mate crying on my shoulder than attending his funeral. Right. And we get to keep that in mind, both as the person who's showing up in a moment of support, and also the person who needs support. And all of us have been in that role, we've all been in a moment where we're supporting someone else. And we've all been in a moment where we deeply need that support. And what I have been saying for a number of years now, about the extensive pride that we have as humans around, at least appearing like we've kept it all together, is that, you know, if you have been the one, keeping it all together, the craziest thing that you can do as a human is to never be insane. You know, Insanity, is being the one who never loses it. And sanity is the one who always has it held together. So if you haven't lost if you haven't lost it yet, like my kids, and I call it like losing your stuffing, you know, like the like the stuffed animals, you know, they'll get like a rip in the seam and it's stuffing starts to come out, it's like, that's to knees, sort of what it feels like, I'm gonna lose it. My seam has come undone, and my stuffing is coming out. And so if you haven't lost your stuffing yet, it's it's time for you to do that. Because the the most insane thing that we can do is to be seen all the time.

Kyle Roed:

I love that. Yeah, I love that. Quote, and I think it's, I think it's really well, it's really what we're all about here. It's a podcast, which is that you call it the appearance of keeping it all together? Because the reality is, so we're not all the time, right? And what whether that's us as individuals, or us, as HR professionals, or as corporations, as leadership teams trying to figure out what the hell do we do, because we didn't expect this customer to cancel these orders, or we didn't get we didn't expect this person to quit. And we don't have somebody to do this work. And like, we've all been there. But you know, it's it. So often, we are just trying to maintain a semblance of keeping it all together. But the reality is that we're we are truly not. And sometimes it's, it's really hard for us to be vulnerable. And ask for help for fear of whatever, right, so So, so as we you know, we've established this as the human condition, right? Like, we're all in this together. We're all going to deal with shit. It takes different versions. But what what advice you have for us that are either individually or trying to help somebody else work through these these situations, how can we start to get over this, this requirement to appear as if we're keeping it all together and truly get vulnerable and accountable for ourselves and for others?

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

Yeah, I love I love that question. I had the had the honor and the opportunity to do a TED talk in January of 2022. Called how resilience breaks us out of our vulnerability cage. And one of the things that I talked about in that talk was this idea that in the first practice of highly resilient people, the first practice is vulnerability. And when I realized what I was hearing from all of these people that I was interviewing that vulnerability was an incredibly simple Often attribute to demonstrating a sense of resilience. I was both are not just both I was I was surprised, I was intrigued. And I was also incredibly convicted. Because having experienced a sense of incredible trauma early in my life with a stalker, and someone who came to my window and attempted to break into my family's home between the ages of 14 and 18, I had found a way to live an incredibly invulnerable life, that I didn't have to deal with the, the pain and the and the fear and, and I just, you know, appeared to most people that that I was perfect. And that was very intentional. And what that created was, it was an incredible separateness, where people didn't feel like I was approachable. And I didn't feel like I could share what was really going on in those moments of my life. And so when I got to delve deeper into vulnerability, and what it is vulnerability, is really about the art inside itself, our thoughts, feelings, and experience, matching the outside self to the greatest degree that we share with the world. And vulnerability becomes important in these moments of challenge change and complexity are the three C's, as I call them. Because we know that these moments, I think you said, you know, we're gonna go through shit, right? We know the three C's, the challenge, change and complexity. This is the well that's I have a train going by. That's exciting. Waiting, you know. So we know the three C's is the fabric of what it means to be human. And what that means is we get to release the shame, we get to release the personal responsibility that we tend to take on when we experience challenge change and complexity. Because until now, the vast majority of us believed that these things were supposed to be an outlier, a blip on the radar, if we were strategic and planful and thoughtful and conscientious enough, we should be able to engineer these things out of our lives, Gosh, darn it. And it turns out, we can't. And not only Can't we, that's proper English, we don't want to, because these are the moments that teach us the most about who we are, you know, the word resilience. It's it's a word that some portion of the population has, has rebelled against, and said, like, oh, I can't wait for a time when I don't have to be resilient anymore. Well, that's like going to the doctor with a, with a fever or sore throat and saying, like, I'm so sick of your antibiotics, you know, I've got this infection, I want you to fix it, but I'm so sick of your antibiotics. So resilience is really resilience is really the cure, it's really the thing that aids us in these inevitable moments of challenge, change and complexity. And the first practice of that vulnerability allows us to show up as close as possible to who we are. And as we are, in these moments. And when we engage in vulnerability, what that does, is really twofold. One, it allows us to be seen and known to a deeper degree, and therefore people are able to help us they're able to provide information, knowledge support, in the moments when we need it most, you know, think about that gentleman at the bar, who told us about what was really going on, then he was able to finally get the support he needed. And, you know, he was able to, to not commit suicide, or his suicide attempt was thwarted, I suppose, you know, because he received the support and the empathy that he's so deeply craved. And the second thing that happens is, anytime we're facing the three C's, you know, takes a lot of energy, it's really exhausting. And so then if we're trying to appear to be one way on the outside, but really feeling a different kind of way on the inside, that means we're running two different human operating systems simultaneously. And when we run two different human operating systems, or you run two different operating systems on your computer, what happens, crashes, you know, or at least it's very slow. And so the ability to get congruent with the inside self and the outside self saves a lot of a lot of energy. And to your point earlier, I'll just sort of touch on this within the practice of vulnerability as the vulnerability bias. And the vulnerability of bias appears from my you know, from my interviews and my from my inquiry to be something I'm sort of like leftover from evolutionary times where we didn't want to be different from the pack. We didn't want to be excluded. We didn't want to be ostracized because we were, you know, that would mean certain, certain death, we as humans, have only survived because we've been able to band together in evolutionary times. And yet, what I believe now is that that script has actually shifted, and we no longer need to be together, physically, to survive in the world. And yet, we need to connect with one another, emotionally, psychologically, to make it in the world. And so what used to maybe keep us safe from being ostracized, you know, don't be the weird one, don't be the one who's different. Now, that often keeps us the vulnerability bias often keeps us trapped in our vulnerability cage at a time, when these are the things that have the greatest opportunity to bring us together and to connect us to one another's humanity and to even create these life saving moments of connection that foster our mental health and amplify our well being.

Kyle Roed:

Absolutely, well, I hope everybody else was taking notes, because I was furiously taking notes, because there's so much, so much important, important information in there. So I want to go back and highlight a couple a couple of things that, that you mentioned, first of all, a shout out so that that that quote, little TED talk you were talking about that's we'll put a link to that. But there at this point, there have been more than 1.3 million views within the first few months of that TED Talk. And it certainly, again, struck a struck a chord with people, but we'll put a link so and I highly encourage anybody to go to go check that out. I think it's a really, really important piece of content, thank you for, for putting that out there and appreciate that. I want to circle back to the topic of living an invulnerable life. And you had mentioned that that was the way that you were showing up, or intending to show up, you know, kind of kind of externally. And for me, I had I had two distinct thoughts. So on a personal level, so that this was a little bit kind of it was kind of funny, so I grew up around trains. And right when you were talking about talking about that, I was thinking about my childhood. And the image in my head. And the image that I've always tried to project to people is that I grew up in an ideal childhood, and it was like, quote, perfect, and it wasn't, but, but that was always, you know, that was the perception that I like, I had convinced myself that that was the case, until recently, when I realized, Oh, that was kind of messed up, you know, maybe I should unpack that a little bit now. Or, you know, that, you know, maybe my parents weren't perfect, but they did their best, and I should give them grace, on the things that I've been frustrated with them about, you know, for, for for years, which, you know, is is, I think, a powerful insight. And so that's, that's the first place that My head went to, and then the train went by, and it was a whole whole thing. But then the next, the next trajectory that My head went to, was the corporate life. And the fact that so often, when we get into these careers, especially as early career professionals, we are, we are coached, to be invulnerable, right? Like you have to be this way you have to have these competencies. This is these are the values that you must embody. And if you don't, if you don't fit this mold, then we're going to coach you to fit the mold of what we want you to be. And I just, I think that we have so much of this conditioning in US it in the context of the workplace, that when we try to unpack that and show up as our, quote, authentic selves, it's really, really uncomfortable. But it also can, in my opinion, really prevent us from truly connecting with others at work and truly being the resource that others need at work. And so as we think about this in the broader context of the organizations that we support, or the people that we are leading, or have the honor to lead, how how can we work through this conditioning that we've we've really all had in some way, shape or form?

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

Yeah. You know, I believe that times are changing and times are not all changing at the same speed or with the same level of rapidity. You know, inside of organizations, as some organizations are much more open to vulnerability and authenticity. Some organizations say that they're open to vulnerability and authenticity, and yet the response to that would indicate that they're not, and then they're just organizations that are like, nope, hard no, we're not you know, and that can be a cultural element that can be an industry element. For a variety of reasons. And so people often ask me about their particular landscape and how they can show up in that landscape with an increased sense of vulnerability and authenticity. And the first thing that I would say is, not all of these conversations are made for work or safe for work. And while all of these conversations are not for work, almost every workplace has some kind of benefit, that is an EAP plan, or a series of services that people can access. And there's something very powerful about simply getting to speak our truth in a in a vulnerable, authentic way, even if we do that for the first time with someone that is not close to us, or it's not a stranger, or is a stranger. And in fact, it's easier to do that, you know, this story about the gentleman at the bar who bought us drinks. We were just meeting him that night. And he was unpacking his life story and telling me and my girlfriend, things that his closest friends and family members didn't know about him. Why? Because ostensibly he didn't have to see us again, you know. And so this is a first foray for many people. Being able to do this with someone who's who's trained in this profession, and is not someone that you're going to need to interact with on a regular basis, that is a great way to dip your toe in the water and try this out. You know, when we think about our personal and professional relationships, I often say vulnerability in service of what be because vulnerability, while important, it's got to connect to something. If I'm telling you some story, just for the sake of telling you some story, it's not going to connect with you. And so in my book, I talk about genuine versus performative vulnerability. And performative vulnerability is me managing my reputation, it can be shock factor, it can be wanting you to think certain things about who I am, or experiences that I've had. Genuine vulnerability is always about creating a deeper connection between you and I are a deeper connection. That's genuine vulnerability. And so we get to check in with ourselves and say, this vulnerability that I'm feeling, is it genuine? Or are there elements of my ego or some other part of me that are driving this? They're making this performative either some part or wholesale performative? And so the first question that we get to ask ourselves, when we want to share more inside of an organizational or business setting is vulnerability in service of what what deeper genuine connection am I building with you am I building with my team and I building with appear by sharing this vulnerability, and then we also get to make that connection for people. I've seen so many leaders do this just so beautifully, to talk about how they grew up in poverty, how they grew up with food insecurity, how a family member didn't get the medical care that they needed and passed away in an untimely way. And then tie in that experience that that story of vulnerability, that resilient story, to their mission and vision as a leader, and why they show up each and every day to work inside of this company and align with the organization's broader mission. That's what works really well in workplaces where vulnerability and authenticity, you know, are accepted in a real way is to tie it to something. And I will also mention, you know, that oftentimes, that like flying by the seat of our pants, is also not the same as vulnerability. So I wrote about this in my book, as well, I was coaching an executive woman who had taken she's a high potential woman inside of her company, and she had taken a cross functional promotion where she moved from marketing to operations. And we were in our coaching session talking about how she was going to introduce herself to her new team and how she was going to address her new team for the first time, coming together as their leader. And she said, Well, I'm just gonna go in there and tell them, you know, I have no idea what I'm doing. And this is all new to me, and not even really sure why they took the woman from marketing and put her in the world of operations and, and I, I stopped her and I said, What do you think you're doing there? And she said, Well, I'm being vulnerable. And I said, No, you're not So you're discrediting yourself. And there's a big difference between not preparing, discredit, discrediting ourselves being self deprecating, you know, pointing out the things about ourselves that we're insecure about before somebody else sees them. That is not vulnerability. Vulnerability is always about creating a genuine human connection in a moment where I allow my insight, self, my thoughts, feelings, and experience, to a greater degree, match the outside self that I'm sharing with you and with the world.

Kyle Roed:

Absolutely. And I love that context, the vulnerability in the service of what's and I think, you know, even if you're somebody that's, that's not comfortable with being vulnerable, or is working through how to truly be 100% present at work, and not have not not essentially be like acting, or playing a role and not, and being performative. But having that goal and understanding, you know, I am doing this, I am being vulnerable, for this end goal, and ultimately, that will help my organization and others be more effective. You know, I think that's, that's a really nice way to bridge, how do we step outside of our performative role into something that's more authentic and supportive of our, of our teams and organizations. And I just think extremely, extremely well. So with that being said, I know you are extremely busy, and we are almost at the end of our time together. So I want to give you an opportunity to share with our listeners, how they can get their hands on the book and what other resources you have to help us think about resilience in the workplace and how we can continue to help our organizations and teams thrive.

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

Sure, thank you for that, I know that they'll probably be a link in the, in the show notes to the book, you can purchase that on Amazon, I read the audible version that you listened to, which was a lot of fun. I'll just say as an aside, when I was going through my divorce, I was also in studio reading the audible book, when I was in a moment of that. And so it was also for me the opportunity to go back to this work into this book in a moment of profound challenge, and get to listen to myself. And I was like, wow, there's like some really good stuff in here. I should, I should listen to her, you know, on the regular. So that's where you can find the book you can visit me and my work at resilience, Dash leadership.com. And we know that there's a lot of people out there who have read the book and said, Okay, what's next? How do I go deeper into this content, do more continue on this journey. And so in anticipating that, we've built out a couple of products and services that can be accessed individually by companies and by individuals. One is a meditation bundle, gives you 510 minute meditations, each on one of the practices of highly resilient people. We also have a sort of a trimmed down version of our online course. And then we have the full version of the course, which is called flourish. And it's a seven module course, that we're doing inside of a lot of organizations, individuals can purchase it, we also do it inside of organizations, our we're able to bring two people together to do the course modules asynchronously. And then to have meetings that bring teams and large groups of people together, virtually live for us to do group coaching and discussion and additional teaching, which has been a lot of fun. So there's some great things out there that will allow you and others to even continue to interact with this work and to continue to grow.

Kyle Roed:

Absolutely, you're you're right, we will have that in the show notes. You know, on a personal level, I really sincerely appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing your a little bit about your journey. It was very personally helpful for me. And so you know, to answer your question in service of what, that you certainly helped me so so thank you. And I just I can't wait to continue to follow the work that you do and continue to support and amplify the all of the content that you're putting out through the the help that you're giving many people. So thank you so much for joining us today.

Dr. Taryn Marie Stejskal:

Thank you so much for having me. What an honor and thank you for having me back with you and with your audience. Delighted to be here. Thank you.

Kyle Roed:

All right. That does it for the rebel HR podcast. Big thank you to our guests. Follow us on Facebook at rebel HR podcast, Twitter at rebel HR guy or see our website at rebel human resources.com. The views and opinions expressed by rebel HR podcast are those the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any of the organizations that we represent. No animals were harmed during the filming of this podcast. Maybe