WEBVTT 00:00:03.024 --> 00:00:08.131 This is the Rebel HR podcast, the podcast about all things innovation in the people's space. 00:00:08.131 --> 00:00:09.614 I'm Kyle Rode. 00:00:09.614 --> 00:00:10.595 Let's start the show. 00:00:10.595 --> 00:00:16.600 Welcome back, rebel HR community. 00:00:16.600 --> 00:00:17.882 This is going to be a fun one. 00:00:17.882 --> 00:00:19.882 Today with us we have Chad Foster. 00:00:19.882 --> 00:00:24.844 Chad is an international keynote speaker, bestselling author and entrepreneur. 00:00:24.844 --> 00:00:30.367 His book is Blind Ambition and we are going to be talking all about it today. 00:00:30.367 --> 00:00:32.249 Welcome to the podcast, chad. 00:00:32.728 --> 00:00:33.448 Thanks for having me. 00:00:33.448 --> 00:00:35.450 I appreciate the opportunity to have a conversation. 00:00:36.170 --> 00:00:38.551 Well, I'm super excited to have you as well. 00:00:38.551 --> 00:01:01.490 You know, I get a lot of pitches for guests, and when I got your information and heard that you were interested to talk to us, I jumped at the chance, and so I'd love to dig into you and your story and what you're all about. 00:01:01.509 --> 00:01:05.719 But the first question I have here is what motivated you to write a book. 00:01:05.719 --> 00:01:09.003 What motivated you to write a book? 00:01:09.003 --> 00:01:10.992 Well, you know, I'd always had the idea that writing a book would something I need to do. 00:01:10.992 --> 00:01:11.896 I think a lot of people have that idea. 00:01:11.896 --> 00:01:13.100 I should probably write a book. 00:01:13.141 --> 00:01:24.308 But then, you know, I had a moment when I was at business school that I realized there was so much opportunity that I had to help other people with the lessons that I've learned. 00:01:24.308 --> 00:01:35.132 And it happened when I was elected as my graduating speaker of my class when I was at business school and I saw how much I could help people just by sharing a little bit of my journey. 00:01:35.132 --> 00:01:37.789 And that was just 12 minutes of my journey. 00:01:37.789 --> 00:01:44.680 I had a bit of a unique story, you know, having gone blind earlier in my life and coming out of that better off than before. 00:01:44.680 --> 00:01:52.804 And when I gave my little graduation talk when I was at Harvard Business School, it it blew people away and that that blew me away. 00:01:53.204 --> 00:01:59.180 Honestly, it made me reevaluate what I'd been doing in terms of telling my story. 00:01:59.180 --> 00:02:05.721 I'd never really done that before and I saw how much I could help other people done that before. 00:02:05.721 --> 00:02:15.568 And I saw how much I could help other people if I were to just take a little bit of time and share some of my story and the lessons that I've learned and the mindset shifts that I had to make as a byproduct of going blind at 21 years old. 00:02:15.568 --> 00:02:31.449 And that's why I started writing the book and also, a little bit selfishly too, I wanted something for my kids to have, just in case who knows, for them to get a little bit of a blueprint of hey, how did dad go through all this and come out in one piece and even better off than before. 00:02:31.449 --> 00:02:35.390 But if I help a few people along the way, you know, even better off. 00:02:35.390 --> 00:02:39.991 So that was the motivator a few years ago when Blind Ambition came out. 00:02:39.991 --> 00:02:45.673 I'm excited to get it out there and really thrilled by the fact that it's been so well received by everyone. 00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:47.281 Absolutely. 00:02:47.281 --> 00:02:53.033 And I, you know, I think it's, it's, it's really a powerful, powerful story. 00:02:53.033 --> 00:02:56.606 You know your story, and you know, I mean you know. 00:02:56.606 --> 00:03:04.151 One word comes to mind is you know, badass, like you know you've, you've overcome a lot. 00:03:04.151 --> 00:03:06.889 You know you've done what people said couldn't be done. 00:03:06.889 --> 00:03:14.293 And you know, you know, all through it, you know you've, you've, you've done some really cool stuff too. 00:03:14.293 --> 00:03:18.045 So you know, I I'm fascinated to. 00:03:18.045 --> 00:03:23.655 My first question is you know you're, you're clearly an ambitious guy. 00:03:23.655 --> 00:03:25.586 Where does that fire come from? 00:03:29.945 --> 00:03:31.058 You know it's a good question. 00:03:31.058 --> 00:03:41.207 I think part of it's from you know, just deep down inside of me, part of it's probably from my dad. 00:03:41.207 --> 00:03:43.747 You know he was an ambitious guy. 00:03:43.747 --> 00:03:54.151 Probably from my dad you know he was an ambitious guy and I think maybe more so than I'd like to admit is from the doubters. 00:03:54.151 --> 00:03:54.451 I've had. 00:03:54.512 --> 00:03:55.794 So many people doubt me. 00:03:55.794 --> 00:04:05.519 You know, when I was going blind and what could be done and I was, this kid grew up in a small country town and not country town, but it was pretty rural. 00:04:05.519 --> 00:04:10.752 Right, it was suburbia, but it was suburbia Knoxville. 00:04:10.752 --> 00:04:26.829 And so you know, not a lot of expectations were being put on me because I was going through this situation, going blind, and some people don't like that, you know they needed the people to believe in them and certainly it would have been great if everybody would have believed in me. 00:04:26.829 --> 00:04:28.105 But I used it as fuel. 00:04:29.961 --> 00:04:31.807 People ask me do you have a chip on your shoulder? 00:04:31.807 --> 00:04:32.884 Yeah, actually I do. 00:04:32.884 --> 00:04:40.663 I do, and it's not because I want to prove you wrong, as much as I want to prove me right, and that has been. 00:04:40.663 --> 00:04:50.394 My burning desire is to make sure that I get the absolute most out of this one shot at life that, as far as I know, is the only one we get. 00:04:50.394 --> 00:04:52.562 So how do I make the most of it? 00:04:52.562 --> 00:05:03.435 And that involves really trying to push my limits and try and figure out not only what's possible, what do I think is possible and what really is possible. 00:05:03.435 --> 00:05:06.338 How can we redefine what's possible? 00:05:06.338 --> 00:05:10.430 Just because somebody else said something is impossible doesn't mean it's true. 00:05:10.430 --> 00:05:11.994 So that's what you know. 00:05:11.994 --> 00:05:16.411 That's what a lot of my life has been is just trying to figure out how I can redefine what's possible. 00:05:16.959 --> 00:05:19.807 Yeah, yeah, I love that and I think you know it's. 00:05:19.807 --> 00:05:48.918 You know, yeah, it might be, it might be a little bit of fuel, but you know, what it sounds like to me is it's almost like you took, you took the doubts or you know the, you know, maybe the, the questions that people were asking, and you use, you reframed it into something, that, that that motivated you to go, you know, do some excellent things Um it, and I, you know, I think that so much of this is around mindset right and and you know, I think that so much of this is around mindset right. 00:05:48.918 --> 00:06:08.747 Oh yeah, and you know, I guess, for those of us that are, you know, listening to this and are maybe a little bit, you know, beat down or looking for you know, some hope or some, you know, resilience, what advice would you give us as we're trying to figure out, you know, how do we get into that right mindset? 00:06:08.747 --> 00:06:13.824 How do we, how do we let this be fuel versus fire that burns us up? 00:06:15.348 --> 00:06:20.343 It's a great question, and the good news, the good news is it's entirely within your control. 00:06:20.343 --> 00:06:35.588 It's simply how you attach yourself to circumstances that are beyond your control, and so anytime you're dealing with a situation, you've got things that are inside your sphere of influence, things you can control and things that you cannot control. 00:06:35.588 --> 00:06:42.952 And for me, the thing that I could not control was the simple fact that I was going blind in my late teens to early 20s. 00:06:42.952 --> 00:07:04.134 Nothing I could say or do would change the fact that I was going from living a life where I was driving a car and playing sports and doing all the things that most young men do, to suddenly being faced with the stark reality that I was going totally and completely blind and I would never see again. 00:07:04.134 --> 00:07:14.625 And you know that was a pretty challenging time, and so I figured out over the course of time that I had to learn how to tell myself better stories about my circumstances. 00:07:14.625 --> 00:07:19.045 So you don't get to choose all of the facts of the situation you find yourself in. 00:07:19.045 --> 00:07:20.230 None of us do. 00:07:20.230 --> 00:07:29.565 None of us get to choose all the cards that were dealt in life, but you alone get to choose how you play your cards, and so I had to figure out. 00:07:29.565 --> 00:07:33.141 Number one okay, I've got to exercise the power of choice. 00:07:33.141 --> 00:07:39.560 Number two I've got to learn to tell myself the right stories, because I will become my stories. 00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:40.564 You will become your stories. 00:07:40.564 --> 00:07:43.011 We all become our stories, so you have to make sure you choose those stories wisely. 00:07:43.011 --> 00:07:47.142 We all become our stories, so you have to make sure you choose those stories wisely. 00:07:47.142 --> 00:08:01.911 Now you can sit around and tell yourself stories that keep you trapped in a victim mindset, or you can choose stories that empower you to bounce back with a visionary mindset, and the beauty of it is the facts don't have to change. 00:08:01.911 --> 00:08:20.233 It's the way that you attach yourself to those circumstances, the stories that you tell yourself that will determine whether or not you're approaching it with the mindset of a victim or the mindset of a visionary, and so recognizing that you do have the choice, exercising that choice telling yourself the right stories. 00:08:21.240 --> 00:08:29.588 Third thing that's really important is visualizing greatness, and sometimes we have to visualize greatness even in unfavorable circumstances. 00:08:29.588 --> 00:08:37.182 I had to figure out how to make blind look good, and I know that's like a little tongue in cheek and it's by design a little tongue in cheek. 00:08:37.182 --> 00:08:48.974 But if you can never reimagine greatness, even in your unfavorable circumstances, how can you ever move towards acceptance of those circumstances, let alone thriving in those circumstances? 00:08:48.974 --> 00:08:52.791 And so we have to visualize greatness and things that we can't control. 00:08:52.791 --> 00:08:55.405 How are we attaching ourselves to those things? 00:08:55.405 --> 00:08:57.110 What are the stories we're telling ourselves? 00:08:57.110 --> 00:09:00.149 How do we make them work for us instead of against us? 00:09:00.259 --> 00:09:08.674 And you know, the other thing that's really important is realizing that at some point mindset has to meet action. 00:09:08.674 --> 00:09:12.910 So you can have the right mindset, but at some point you've got to face your fears. 00:09:12.910 --> 00:09:18.432 You've got to do the hard work and you've got to lean into the uncomfortableness of it. 00:09:18.432 --> 00:09:20.649 I call it getting comfortable with discomfort. 00:09:20.649 --> 00:09:28.767 It's really where growth and innovation take place, because if you're never getting outside of your comfort zone, then you'll never grow. 00:09:28.767 --> 00:09:38.260 It's you know, comfort zones to me are another word for complacency, and so no growth, no innovation ever comes out of people's comfort zones. 00:09:38.260 --> 00:09:40.282 And so how do you do things? 00:09:40.282 --> 00:09:57.557 What do you do regularly to keep yourself out of your comfort zone, so that you can continue to try new things, to experiment, to find creative ways of doing things, to have that innovation mindset, so that you can continue to grow over time? 00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:01.684 Absolutely, and you know, I think it's. 00:10:01.684 --> 00:10:15.960 It makes sense that the comfort zone doesn't drive innovation, but so often we're driven to that as humans. 00:10:15.960 --> 00:10:25.341 Right Like inertia is really powerful, right Like you just, oh well, I really should learn how to go do that. 00:10:25.341 --> 00:10:30.107 But I'll start tomorrow because you know, yeah, today's hard, today's hard, today was a hard day. 00:10:30.107 --> 00:10:30.669 I'm not going to do it. 00:10:30.669 --> 00:10:35.215 So you know, it's really. 00:10:35.215 --> 00:10:35.615 You know. 00:10:35.735 --> 00:11:02.461 First of all, I just want to say you know a really inspirational story to hear how you've reframed something that I think anybody would say was potentially traumatic, right, losing your eyesight as a young man, looking at traumatic right, losing your, losing your eyesight as a young man looking at adulthood, right, um, but you turned it into into, uh, dare I say, almost almost a gift, yeah, right, and now you're using that to to help other other people overcome that. 00:11:02.461 --> 00:11:10.563 So, yeah, that that's a mental model that I think many people wish that they had, but just, quite frankly, don't. 00:11:10.563 --> 00:11:37.888 So for those of us, and myself included, that maybe struggle with this kind of this day-to-day inertia and this tendency to fall into a comfort zone, what advice would you have for us to kind of step outside of that, and how do we start to build that kind of that muscle memory or that mental model, so that our comfort zone actually becomes finding this area of growth? 00:11:39.370 --> 00:11:39.692 For me. 00:11:39.692 --> 00:11:40.475 I do something. 00:11:40.475 --> 00:11:46.600 I'm a little, maybe a little bit unusual at this point. 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:53.933 I guess my life has been such an experiment of living outside of my comfort zone. 00:11:53.933 --> 00:11:57.623 Everything in my life has been uncomfortable for a long time. 00:11:57.623 --> 00:12:07.500 You know, going blind, not so comfortable, bumping into stuff, hitting myself on you know, an object, a pipe, whatever. 00:12:07.500 --> 00:12:14.381 You know I was at the hospital so much they questioned both me and my parents in separate rooms because they thought they were abusing me. 00:12:14.381 --> 00:12:18.337 We pretty much had our own parking spot there when I was a kid. 00:12:18.337 --> 00:12:25.020 And then going totally blind, getting a dog and walking into university classrooms not very comfortable. 00:12:25.020 --> 00:12:33.769 And so you do all these things and go into job interviews and boardrooms and travel all over the world Just me and a seeing eye dog's pretty uncomfortable. 00:12:33.769 --> 00:12:39.240 And so now I've just continued to edge out of my comfort zone. 00:12:39.260 --> 00:12:42.573 At 38 years old I thought it'd be a good idea to learn how to downhill ski. 00:12:42.573 --> 00:12:48.309 So now you know, we regularly go and ski black and sometimes double black diamonds. 00:12:48.309 --> 00:12:49.914 And I train. 00:12:49.914 --> 00:12:52.221 I started training Brazilian jiu-jitsu three years ago. 00:12:52.221 --> 00:13:00.261 I've got my purple belt about six months ago and that, to me, is how I feed my discomfort. 00:13:00.261 --> 00:13:06.799 That I think I need is because few things are more uncomfortable than having a 250 pound black belt. 00:13:06.799 --> 00:13:07.662 Try and choke you out. 00:13:09.691 --> 00:13:11.275 Can't say I've done that personally. 00:13:11.275 --> 00:13:12.519 I missed out on that one. 00:13:14.374 --> 00:13:28.892 It's a pretty good way to get comfortable with discomfort, because let me tell you, the first time you compete in a tournament and you know that people are trying to take your arm home with them, everything else you look at in life that you're fearful of kind of pales in comparison. 00:13:28.892 --> 00:13:35.451 And so, yeah, I would say my advice would be to start relatively small, with the discomfort. 00:13:35.451 --> 00:13:47.432 Now, while I do think we all need bold visions of greatness that inspire us to take action, you do want this big, scary, daring vision of greatness for yourself, your career, your team, your organization. 00:13:47.432 --> 00:13:52.370 But at the same time, your first step outside of that should not be big, bold and scary. 00:13:52.370 --> 00:13:59.063 It should be incremental, uncomfortable, but also doable. 00:13:59.470 --> 00:14:09.817 You know, and what happens over time is that you start to realize that you're capable of more than you thought, and you do that by demonstrating to yourself these small successes over time. 00:14:09.817 --> 00:14:17.322 And you know, these small successes breed confidence and confidence creates more action and it's the action that creates the outcomes. 00:14:17.322 --> 00:14:25.835 But you start stacking those together over time and those tiny little wins just start piling up and before you know it you've moved. 00:14:25.835 --> 00:14:30.455 You know, look at where I was 25 years ago with the poor me, victim mentality. 00:14:30.455 --> 00:14:33.145 Wasn't sure how I was going to even get out of college. 00:14:33.145 --> 00:14:44.309 And now here I am, 25 years removed from that, living a life I could have never imagined, like you said, with this beautiful gift of blindness that came disguised in some really ugly wrapping paper. 00:14:44.309 --> 00:14:46.741 And that potential is there for all of us. 00:14:46.741 --> 00:14:50.654 It's there for you, if you're able to have the right mindset. 00:14:50.654 --> 00:14:58.884 Show up, do the work and continue to lean into the discomfort yeah, yeah, I, I just I just love that that perspective. 00:14:58.965 --> 00:15:04.660 I gotta ask were you just like sitting on the couch one day and you're like I really want to go learn brazilian jiu jitsu? 00:15:04.660 --> 00:15:08.320 Like what was the decision tree for you to go do that? 00:15:08.320 --> 00:15:09.231 I'm just curious. 00:15:09.994 --> 00:15:14.346 Well, honestly, it started off in a pretty good place. 00:15:14.346 --> 00:15:19.941 It was, you know, I wanted to spend time with my kids because I can't teach them how to shoot a jump shot anymore. 00:15:19.941 --> 00:15:26.214 I used to play a little bit of basketball back in the day, but my jump shot is not nearly as good as it used to be, being totally blind. 00:15:26.214 --> 00:15:34.312 I wanted something to do with the kids, and I can't teach them how to shoot a jump shot anymore, but I can teach them how to defend themselves. 00:15:34.312 --> 00:15:42.017 And so we all enrolled in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and we started taking that and I just wanted something to share with them, some activity. 00:15:42.017 --> 00:15:48.902 And so now we'll go down to the basement, we'll have a self-defense day and we'll do some technique and we can share in that. 00:15:48.902 --> 00:15:58.830 And, honestly, nothing makes me happier or prouder than when our two kids pile on me in the kitchen floor like both of them trying to choke me out from different angles. 00:15:58.970 --> 00:15:59.331 It's a. 00:15:59.331 --> 00:16:00.153 It's a. 00:16:00.153 --> 00:16:08.179 It's a pretty cool thing, but I I got into it because of them and to spend some time with them, and I ended up getting hooked on it, so it's pretty addictive. 00:16:08.179 --> 00:16:10.076 Actually, it's a lot of fun. 00:16:10.076 --> 00:16:28.812 It's like playing chess with your body, you know dealing with other competitors, and it's hard to really put into words the camaraderie that you build with people when you train, going up to the line of injury, so close every day, and the respect and you know the love that you have for the people who are pushing you to be better. 00:16:28.812 --> 00:16:31.599 Because you know, iron sharpens iron and it's. 00:16:31.599 --> 00:16:39.732 It's hard, it's not for the faint of heart, it's hard, but you learn that you're capable of more than you thought and it teaches you, teaches you a lot. 00:16:39.812 --> 00:16:44.202 Actually, it's a great metaphor for life, because a lot of people get scared. 00:16:44.202 --> 00:16:44.791 And what do they do? 00:16:44.791 --> 00:16:46.273 They want to run away from the fear. 00:16:46.273 --> 00:16:47.815 Well, jujitsu teaches you. 00:16:47.815 --> 00:16:50.099 You actually need to move towards the fear. 00:16:50.099 --> 00:16:54.831 You need to lay down in the fear, settle into the terror. 00:16:54.831 --> 00:17:07.823 Just, you know, get really comfortable and relaxed when you're scared, which is a really hard thing to do at first, but it teaches you over time how to do that, and so that's a good thing. 00:17:07.823 --> 00:17:10.192 Whether or not you're fighting somebody, you know. 00:17:10.192 --> 00:17:22.798 Something at work or something in your personal life may feel like it's got you in a tight spot, but if you learn how to control your mindset, control your breathing, stay calm, look for the way out of the bad situation. 00:17:22.798 --> 00:17:27.634 You know, then you'll find that it helps you not just on the mat but everywhere in life. 00:17:27.914 --> 00:17:37.880 Yeah, well, I think it's fascinating and I think this is kind of an element of many martial arts is so much of this is also about mental strength, right? 00:17:37.880 --> 00:17:39.906 Like you said, it's like chess. 00:17:39.906 --> 00:17:45.721 It's not about being big and strong and punching somebody in the face harder than somebody else, right? 00:17:45.721 --> 00:17:48.297 You know, it's actually the opposite of that of that right. 00:17:48.317 --> 00:18:00.291 It's around using somebody else's like aggression and lack of mental strength against them to to win right, which I know that I think you know beat bjj is like, like just to me it's fascinating and I love. 00:18:00.291 --> 00:18:03.820 I love the tenets of it because I think I think so much of it does. 00:18:03.820 --> 00:18:05.854 It's like it's principles for life. 00:18:05.993 --> 00:18:20.730 It's not just about like beating people right, and so you know, to me it's, it's fascinating that you somebody who's you know, kind of working on the, the journey of mental mastery, you know it chose chose this as one of the sports that that you wanted to do. 00:18:20.730 --> 00:18:27.173 So I'm not overly surprised, other than I've got to believe it's a little bit challenging to not see that's that is a. 00:18:27.173 --> 00:18:31.762 That is probably a little bit interesting to do, this martial art. 00:18:32.849 --> 00:18:33.590 Well, there are. 00:18:33.590 --> 00:18:38.039 I will say I am the only person at the academy where I train. 00:18:38.039 --> 00:18:38.721 Who's blind? 00:18:39.462 --> 00:18:39.884 Yeah. 00:18:39.903 --> 00:18:40.952 Yeah, and I'll. 00:18:40.952 --> 00:18:42.441 I'll tell people you know cause I'm. 00:18:42.441 --> 00:18:46.074 I roll with people from all different skills and I'll kind of joke. 00:18:46.074 --> 00:18:49.299 You know I'll get like you know somebody who's newish or whatever. 00:18:49.299 --> 00:18:51.983 I'm like, don't worry, I'm just a poor, helpless, blind guy. 00:18:53.953 --> 00:18:54.375 Let's go. 00:18:54.375 --> 00:18:57.303 And then you proceed to show them what's up. 00:18:58.792 --> 00:19:00.096 Yeah, that can't happen. 00:19:00.096 --> 00:19:00.817 That can't happen. 00:19:00.817 --> 00:19:02.200 It's one of those things. 00:19:02.200 --> 00:19:03.041 It's all hands on. 00:19:03.102 --> 00:19:10.901 If I were in a martial art that involved a bunch of striking, obviously it wouldn't work out well for me, being a kickboxer, as an example. 00:19:10.901 --> 00:19:22.357 But grappling is entirely hands-on and so in some ways it's perfect to be able to do that. 00:19:22.357 --> 00:19:40.318 You know all the things I said about fear and comfort zones, but also you know, if you're the kind of person who maybe you're talented or you do well at school, or you know you've got some athletic gift and you show up on the whatever football field or soccer field or whatever and you can dominate, hey, that's great for you there. 00:19:40.318 --> 00:19:42.913 But let me tell you, you show up on the mat and train jujitsu. 00:19:42.913 --> 00:19:53.980 I don't really care how athletic you are or how flexible you are, you're going to get a big helping of some humble pie, a lot of it, and so it teaches you humility. 00:19:53.980 --> 00:19:57.661 It teaches you that greatness doesn't happen overnight. 00:19:57.661 --> 00:20:21.531 It teaches you that greatness is accomplished with hard work, consistent dedication, respect for the people around you, and it's as much about getting the people around you better as it is about getting yourself better, which is kind of remarkable, and you know this having my kids realize that, hey, you know, it's not about having the instant YouTube viral video or being a 22 year old CEO. 00:20:21.531 --> 00:20:27.618 No, it's about showing up, doing the hard work, being consistent, showing up at the beginner's mind. 00:20:27.838 --> 00:20:33.266 Yeah, we all want to win, but winning isn't always more important than learning. 00:20:33.390 --> 00:20:41.019 Learning is the most important thing, because if you continue to learn, you will win, and so that's where putting down the ego comes into play. 00:20:41.019 --> 00:20:47.809 A lot of people's ego gets in the way because they want to win, so they use their best techniques all the time and they never experiment with new techniques, and so they limit to win. 00:20:47.809 --> 00:20:54.319 So they use their best techniques all the time and they never experiment with new techniques, and so they limit their game, and so they'll stagnate, like that we all will. 00:20:54.319 --> 00:21:08.450 We'll all stagnate if we don't maintain the beginner's mind, and so jiu-jitsu teaches you to maintain that beginner's mind, to put the ego down, to do the hard work, respect the people around you, get everybody else around you better as you continue to get better. 00:21:08.450 --> 00:21:19.566 I just love the fact that we're able to do this for the kids so they can learn some of these values and this blueprint for life, so that they don't have to figure it out, kind of how we did a little bit later on in life. 00:21:19.566 --> 00:21:21.500 They get to learn it at an early, early age. 00:21:22.605 --> 00:21:23.230 Yeah, I got to learn it. 00:21:23.230 --> 00:21:24.003 I learned it a little later. 00:21:24.003 --> 00:21:28.970 You did, yeah, I learned it a little later. 00:21:28.970 --> 00:21:33.355 But yeah, you know, I, I was, I, I, I, I was. 00:21:33.355 --> 00:21:35.470 I wasn't as good of a student as as, hopefully, my kids are, on some of those things. 00:21:36.191 --> 00:21:39.178 You know, you touched on something here and I, and I think it's it's. 00:21:39.178 --> 00:21:58.303 You know, it's kind of circled around in this, in this conversation here, and you, you mentioned ego and you mentioned, you know, about the stories that you tell yourself and really kind of you know, using using those stories to drive yourself to to success. 00:21:58.303 --> 00:22:13.932 You know, I'm curious because it's a little bit of a, it's a little bit of a I don't know two-sided story here where we talk about, like you gotta have self, you know, positive self-image, and you gotta, you gotta, use positive mental imagery and, you know, tell these great stories. 00:22:13.932 --> 00:22:21.138 But you also need to make sure that you're not not getting too egoic and not, you know, not like believing all of the hype. 00:22:21.138 --> 00:22:33.034 What advice would you have for us as we, you know, as we kind of grapple with the dichotomy of this positive self-image but not becoming a point of kind of toxicity, if you will? 00:22:36.617 --> 00:22:40.663 Yeah, it's an interesting question. 00:22:40.663 --> 00:23:01.650 I think, first of all, you absolutely have to believe in yourself and, to the extent, if you have to choose between maybe I become a little overconfident versus not confident enough, I'm always going to lean towards overconfident Because I feel like all of us can do more than we think we can. 00:23:01.650 --> 00:23:08.146 Even the most optimistic among us is really underselling ourselves in terms of what we're able to do. 00:23:08.146 --> 00:23:10.491 I'm about as optimistic as you can get. 00:23:10.491 --> 00:23:14.410 I mean, I'm a blind guy who says you know, blind's a good thing, like how many? 00:23:14.410 --> 00:23:15.840 How many folks are out there doing that? 00:23:15.840 --> 00:23:16.521 Not a whole lot. 00:23:16.521 --> 00:23:18.765 So my cup is half full. 00:23:18.765 --> 00:23:25.194 But, that being said, there's no way 25 years ago I would have ever imagined I'd be doing what I'm doing today. 00:23:25.194 --> 00:23:31.432 My point is we all underestimate what we can do. 00:23:31.432 --> 00:23:40.663 All of us do, you do, everybody listening to this, you listening right now, you're underestimating what you can do, and it's not a knock on you. 00:23:40.663 --> 00:23:42.248 We all do that. 00:23:42.248 --> 00:23:46.123 All of us do can do, and it's not a knock on you. 00:23:46.123 --> 00:23:46.805 We all do that All of us do. 00:23:46.825 --> 00:23:52.381 Now, in terms of it moving to toxicity, like I don't, I don't believe in in having rose colored glasses about everything you know. 00:23:52.381 --> 00:23:55.849 We have to face the reality of the situation. 00:23:55.849 --> 00:24:03.987 Like I couldn't sit around and tell myself that, oh I'll, you know, one day I'll get my eyesight back and everything will be fine and I'll live happily ever after. 00:24:03.987 --> 00:24:13.240 And all of a sudden, I'm putting my future precariously in the hands that are really my future, in the hands of things that are outside my control, like whether or not there's a cure. 00:24:13.240 --> 00:24:25.509 And so how do I instead choose to tell myself a story that involves me taking an unfavorable set of circumstances and moving forward with it. 00:24:25.509 --> 00:24:47.288 And so the example that I use is I could have sat around and I could have chosen to tell myself that I went blind because I've got terrible luck and that could technically be a true story but instead I chose to tell myself that I went blind because I'm one of the few people on the planet who has the strength and the toughness to overcome it and use it to help other people. 00:24:47.288 --> 00:25:01.083 See, one story paints me as a victim, but the second story takes the exact same basket of facts and reframes it in a way that turns it into my competitive advantage. 00:25:01.083 --> 00:25:05.512 This happened to me because I'm stronger than most. 00:25:05.512 --> 00:25:06.981 That's my story. 00:25:07.943 --> 00:25:10.670 So now I've taken this oh, you're going blind at 21. 00:25:10.670 --> 00:25:14.183 And instead of being, oh, poor you, you went blind at 21. 00:25:14.183 --> 00:25:19.146 It's like, oh, good news, you happen to be one of the few people who can dominate this thing. 00:25:19.146 --> 00:25:20.131 You can overcome it. 00:25:20.131 --> 00:25:31.967 And that becomes a very powerful thing when it starts to seep down into your bloodstream and into your bone marrow and you start really believing hey, wait a minute, I think I can handle this. 00:25:31.967 --> 00:25:34.817 And then you start to believe that you can handle it. 00:25:34.817 --> 00:25:39.205 And then you start getting results that demonstrate that you're handling. 00:25:39.205 --> 00:25:50.555 And then, all of a sudden, before you know, you've reframed your future by simply reattaching yourself to the current reality in a different way. 00:25:50.555 --> 00:25:53.923 It's an incredibly powerful concept and it's there for all of us. 00:25:53.923 --> 00:25:57.441 It's there for you, no matter what circumstances you're facing. 00:25:57.441 --> 00:26:00.950 Just simply reframing them, telling yourself a better story. 00:26:00.950 --> 00:26:06.426 How do you take that thing that you don't want in your life and flip it into a dominating advantage? 00:26:06.426 --> 00:26:07.469 It's possible. 00:26:08.151 --> 00:26:13.632 I absolutely love that, yeah, and I think it's such an important distinction, right. 00:26:13.632 --> 00:26:20.624 And it's not about being overconfident, right, it's about being confident, and I love that. 00:26:20.624 --> 00:26:43.426 You know, like, if you look at all the research, it's like the most successful people are the optimistic risk takers, right, like the ones, the ones that are generally going to assume that good things will happen and believe that good things will happen and and take risks, and that's, you know, that's that drives success, right, like I'm assuming you you're an optimistic guy, right? 00:26:48.339 --> 00:26:58.627 I'm an optimistic guy and I am a bit of a risk taker and I realize I'm not flawless, I'm not perfect, I'm going to screw some things up, but I know that on balance I'm going to figure things out, because I've demonstrated that over time. 00:26:58.627 --> 00:27:00.711 I don't have all the answers. 00:27:00.711 --> 00:27:05.708 I like to think I know what questions to ask and eventually I'll find the answers. 00:27:05.708 --> 00:27:08.053 But I don't pretend to have all the answers. 00:27:08.053 --> 00:27:16.054 But I do have the confidence that you know what, I'll learn how to ask the right questions and I'll find the right answers working with the right people. 00:27:16.054 --> 00:27:17.842 Eventually I'll figure it out. 00:27:17.842 --> 00:27:27.250 I may not know right off the bat and maybe it won't be as quick as I'd like, but I'll figure it out one way or the other off the bat and maybe it won't be as quick as I'd like, but I'll figure it out one way or the other. 00:27:27.269 --> 00:27:27.991 Right, right, yeah, I I tend to. 00:27:27.991 --> 00:27:30.538 Those are the people that I I try to surround myself with. 00:27:30.538 --> 00:27:42.790 Right, because I want to try to like, like, get that by osmosis right, like it's, like it's, it's infectious right when you're around people that that that believe in the direction you're going. 00:27:42.790 --> 00:27:48.410 You know it's, it's so much better than than you know, the, the trying to hang out with a bunch of naysayers. 00:27:48.900 --> 00:27:49.422 And I can't do it. 00:27:49.422 --> 00:27:49.742 Man. 00:27:49.742 --> 00:27:51.169 Yeah, it's, I'm with you. 00:27:51.169 --> 00:28:01.009 You are the average of the five people we associate with, and so you got to ask yourself are you hanging around people who are bringing your average up, or are they bringing your average down? 00:28:01.809 --> 00:28:02.991 Totally, totally agree. 00:28:02.991 --> 00:28:04.255 Yeah, and I yeah. 00:28:04.255 --> 00:28:04.921 I mean there's. 00:28:04.921 --> 00:28:21.155 There's so many situations where you know I do think, circling back to where we started this conversation I think people get complacent in that you know, with those people you know you naturally will get comfortable with what you get used to. 00:28:21.155 --> 00:28:36.049 And if you allow yourself to get used to surrounding yourself with naysayers and negativity and people that have that victim mentality, whether you realize it or not, that's going to feel comfortable to you and that's a hard question to ask yourself, but it's the reality sometimes. 00:28:36.130 --> 00:28:37.252 It becomes toxic. 00:28:37.252 --> 00:28:41.067 You know, I can start to feel it before I even. 00:28:41.067 --> 00:28:43.362 I mean, I feel it as much as I hear it. 00:28:43.362 --> 00:28:50.211 If that makes sense, I can be around people and I'll hear the words come and I'll just like I don't know. 00:28:50.211 --> 00:29:02.866 I start to feel like I'm suffocating in a way, even though it's not my breathing, but it's like the energy is just dark and I just like I have to get away because it's not how I've chosen to live my life. 00:29:02.866 --> 00:29:08.035 I've chosen to for lack of a better term see the glass half full. 00:29:08.035 --> 00:29:12.791 I know that's funny a blind guy saying that, but it's true. 00:29:12.791 --> 00:29:14.346 It's how I've chosen to see my life. 00:29:15.142 --> 00:29:19.011 All of us can easily find reasons to complain. 00:29:19.011 --> 00:29:22.048 They're out there, right? 00:29:22.048 --> 00:29:24.464 How's that serving you? 00:29:24.464 --> 00:29:39.232 I instead, every night, one of the things that we do at my house it's mandatory and has been for 16 years, since our first daughter was born is we have a gratitude session every night, three of us. 00:29:39.400 --> 00:29:52.067 We all have to say three things that we're thankful for every night, and it has to be unique and it has to be concrete and it has to be, you know, not repeated or redundant based on what somebody else said. 00:29:52.107 --> 00:30:00.853 And what it does is it forces you to bring your conscious attention to the very things that we all very naturally take for granted. 00:30:00.853 --> 00:30:08.498 And if you do that on a regular basis, eventually you might just start paying attention to those things that you've been taking for granted. 00:30:08.498 --> 00:30:19.344 And, who knows, maybe gratitude will just seep its way into your muscle memory and, before you know it, you'll have this foundation of gratitude that determines your happiness in life, because that's the order that it works in. 00:30:19.344 --> 00:30:25.884 It's not happiness that brings you gratitude, it's gratitude that brings you happiness and informs your perspective. 00:30:25.884 --> 00:30:47.690 And so that's why, at my house, that's a mandatory thing that we do every day, because I want my kids to have the benefit of gratitude and their perspective and to create that foundation so that they can live a happier, more successful life, anchored in the appreciation for the things that we all overlook every day. 00:30:49.113 --> 00:30:49.493 I love it. 00:30:49.493 --> 00:30:56.087 What a powerful gift to give your kids and, with that, a powerful gift to give our listeners. 00:30:56.087 --> 00:31:00.288 Here we're going to shift gears, we're going to go into the Rebel HR flash round. 00:31:00.288 --> 00:31:00.709 Are you ready? 00:31:00.709 --> 00:31:02.211 Let's do it All right. 00:31:02.211 --> 00:31:05.230 Question number one where do we need to rebel? 00:31:07.780 --> 00:31:09.144 Where do we need to rebel? 00:31:09.144 --> 00:31:20.229 I think we need to rebel against a society that has caused us to soften mentally a little too much. 00:31:20.229 --> 00:31:46.641 I think our society has over-rotated to cushy and soft and fuzzy and there's a place for that and we're so intent on meeting people where they are in the moment and being empathic and I'm all for empathy, don't get me wrong but sometimes we need to hear what we're supposed to hear as opposed to what we want to hear. 00:31:46.641 --> 00:31:48.164 I'll give you an example. 00:31:48.164 --> 00:32:00.705 Try and keep it short, because I know we're in a flash round, but I was in college and I was hanging out with a bunch of losers, trying to deal with the fact that I was going blind, not dealing with it all so well. 00:32:00.705 --> 00:32:09.211 I was at a house we were not doing productive things, partying too much, and my cousin came in town and he did exactly that. 00:32:09.211 --> 00:32:11.645 He told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. 00:32:11.645 --> 00:32:12.166 He looked at me. 00:32:12.166 --> 00:32:13.810 He said hey, man, come out here, I want to talk to you. 00:32:13.810 --> 00:32:14.333 I go outside. 00:32:14.333 --> 00:32:18.624 He said you see all your friends in there. 00:32:18.624 --> 00:32:19.384 I said, yeah. 00:32:19.384 --> 00:32:20.905 He said you're going to be a loser too. 00:32:20.905 --> 00:32:25.490 You need to get your head out of your rear end, get it together and you know what. 00:32:25.911 --> 00:32:31.916 You say that to some people today, like, oh, but you're not being empathic and I'm going through a tough situation and I'm going blind. 00:32:31.916 --> 00:32:38.781 Yeah, all that may be true, but I needed to hear it. 00:32:38.781 --> 00:32:39.201 We all we don't. 00:32:39.201 --> 00:32:49.787 Hopefully, we're all so fortunate to have people in our lives who will tell us the hard truth that we need to hear versus the warm and soft and fuzzy things that we all want to hear, because, at the end of the day, we need both. 00:32:49.900 --> 00:32:58.700 We need people who meet us where we are and are empathic and help us get over the hump and help us deal with the difficult emotions of some of the things that we're experiencing. 00:32:58.700 --> 00:33:00.326 But we also need the straight talk. 00:33:00.326 --> 00:33:13.308 We need people in our lives who care about us enough to have the difficult conversation, to say the things that are sometimes harsh, but they need to be harsh, to pierce through the way that we've been doing things. 00:33:13.308 --> 00:33:22.255 That coat of armor that we have, that it's our comfort zone and don't rock me out of my comfort zone I think we need that and that's the way I'd like to see this rebel is. 00:33:22.255 --> 00:33:32.442 You know, let's try and meet people where they are with empathy, but let's also tell them what they need to hear in a way that allows them to make the changes that they need to make to move forward. 00:33:33.084 --> 00:33:38.213 Yeah, I, you know, I love that distinction and I think we lose sight that. 00:33:38.213 --> 00:33:44.366 You know, empathy and compassion doesn't mean that we're just like wet noodles, right? 00:33:44.366 --> 00:33:46.169 You know, empathy and compassion doesn't mean that we're just like wet noodles, right. 00:33:46.169 --> 00:33:49.893 You know you can still be empathetic and tell someone something that they don't like to hear. 00:33:49.893 --> 00:33:52.655 Yeah, you can still do that with compassion. 00:33:53.076 --> 00:34:09.175 Yeah, if anything you might be doing, that giving them a gift, absolutely you are, especially if they know you're coming from a good spot and they know, like you care about them and you make it very clear the only reason I'm telling you this is because I care about you and I want you to know this. 00:34:09.175 --> 00:34:20.376 But you know, delivering the hard truth that takes more guts than just, you know, passing it along and going, oh no, everything's great Right, that's not caring for somebody. 00:34:20.376 --> 00:34:21.519 You really care about somebody's future. 00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:24.407 Have the hard conversation you know, say what needs to be said. 00:34:24.407 --> 00:34:25.150 Get it off your heart. 00:34:25.940 --> 00:34:27.545 Right, right, all right. 00:34:27.545 --> 00:34:29.791 Question number two who should we be listening to? 00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:35.827 Who should we be listening to? 00:34:35.827 --> 00:34:41.603 You know, I think there's a. 00:34:41.603 --> 00:34:45.753 I think there's a lot of wisdom inside of all of us. 00:34:45.753 --> 00:34:47.963 I think there's a lot of wisdom inside of you. 00:34:47.963 --> 00:35:01.630 I think you know you better than anybody, and so I wonder if there's not so much noise and so much distraction in our lives that we've tuned out the one voice that matters the most, and that's the one deep inside of us. 00:35:01.630 --> 00:35:05.503 I think that's one voice that matters the most and that's the one deep inside of us. 00:35:05.523 --> 00:35:06.346 I think that's probably why I'm able to. 00:35:06.346 --> 00:35:09.432 You know, I've been able to do a lot of the things that I've been able to do. 00:35:09.432 --> 00:35:24.393 It's because I'm not distracted by the constant stream of visual things that are that are going on everywhere you look, whether it's, you know, instagram or any social media application, or the images. 00:35:24.393 --> 00:35:38.268 It's just, sometimes it's good to be alone with our thoughts and really understand what's going on inside of us, and if you're not making time for that, you're really missing out on probably your most reliable advisor yourself. 00:35:38.268 --> 00:35:44.608 And so if you don't know yourself and what's really going on inside of you, how could you ever move towards where you want to be? 00:35:44.608 --> 00:35:53.623 Because you're just we're all dealing with this stream of disruptions and notifications and all these things, and that's why I think you know having real vision. 00:35:53.623 --> 00:36:05.202 When I talk about having a visionary mindset, it's not by looking at what's going on around you, it's by really examining what's going on deep inside of you. 00:36:05.222 --> 00:36:06.726 I love it All right. 00:36:06.726 --> 00:36:10.501 Last question how can our listeners connect with you and how can they get their hands on the book? 00:36:11.182 --> 00:36:19.447 Yeah, If they go to chadefostercom, forward slash rebel HR got a landing page there for them so they can get some goodies. 00:36:19.447 --> 00:36:21.344 Got a worksheet there From there. 00:36:21.344 --> 00:36:22.057 That's my website. 00:36:22.057 --> 00:36:22.706 They can click on the link. 00:36:22.706 --> 00:36:22.967 There's a book tab there. 00:36:22.967 --> 00:36:23.635 They can get some goodies, Got a worksheet there From there. 00:36:23.635 --> 00:36:24.275 That's my website, they can click on the link. 00:36:24.275 --> 00:36:25.442 There's a book tab there. 00:36:25.442 --> 00:36:27.829 They can see all the different places they can buy the book. 00:36:27.829 --> 00:36:33.400 It's on Amazon, it's on Audible and all the places where books are sold. 00:36:33.400 --> 00:36:41.635 But certainly they can land on all those things from that one website chadefostercom forward slash Rebel HR. 00:36:41.635 --> 00:36:43.445 It's got my social media handles. 00:36:43.445 --> 00:36:44.349 All that stuff's there. 00:36:44.349 --> 00:36:47.487 It's a nice one-stop shop to find everything they need. 00:36:48.530 --> 00:36:48.952 Absolutely. 00:36:48.952 --> 00:36:50.963 We'll have a link to that right in the show notes. 00:36:50.963 --> 00:36:52.288 Click in there. 00:36:52.288 --> 00:36:53.831 Check it out, chad. 00:36:53.831 --> 00:36:55.545 This has just been an amazing conversation. 00:36:55.545 --> 00:36:57.844 Thank you so much for thanks for putting the book out there. 00:36:57.844 --> 00:36:59.827 Thanks for all that you've done to help people out there. 00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:04.625 You've helped our listeners today immensely. 00:37:04.625 --> 00:37:05.690 So thanks for doing what you do. 00:37:05.690 --> 00:37:06.496 Man Appreciate you, absolutely. 00:37:06.496 --> 00:37:06.938 Appreciate you, thanks. 00:37:06.938 --> 00:37:07.561 Appreciate it, co. 00:37:07.561 --> 00:37:08.202 Thank you. 00:37:09.543 --> 00:37:12.811 All right, that does it for the Rebel HR podcast. 00:37:12.811 --> 00:37:14.753 Big thank you to our guests. 00:37:14.753 --> 00:37:23.505 Follow us on Facebook at Rebel HR podcast, twitter at Rebel HR guy, or see our website at rebelhumanresourcescom. 00:37:23.505 --> 00:37:33.775 The views and opinions expressed by Rebel HR Podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any of the organizations that we represent. 00:37:33.775 --> 00:37:37.307 No animals were harmed during the filming of this podcast. 00:37:39.273 --> 00:37:39.594 Baby.