Youth Pastor Brandon Johnson

Some quotes from the episode:

"He doesn’t always show us everything out in the future but He does guide us into the next season in life"

“It’s all about relationship”

“Loneliness is an invitation from God to grow deeper in your walk with him”

“he who spends the most time wins”

“rules without relationship equals rebellion”

“I believe with my full heart that God did heal her, just not the way I wanted”

“Resist isolation. Press into relationship. Because what's hurt in relationship is also healed in relationship.”

“if you show your girl that you plan something for her - with with her in mind - it makes a big difference”

From the episode:

• Brandon is a Youth Pastor at 2Rivers Church.
• Brandon spoke extensively about the loss of his sister, Brittany, to Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. 
• The book Through the Eyes of a Lion by Levi Lusko helped him through grieving the loss of his sister. 
• His favorite Chipotle meal is a Chicken Burrito with 1/2 each rice, 1/2 each beans, all the salsas, sour cream, cheese, and lettuce. 
• Brandon worked at the Denver Rescue Mission and Missouri Baptist Children’s Home. 
• Brandon on sports:
  • Basketball: Michael Jordan
  • Football: Cleveland Browns
  • Baseball: Cleveland Indians/Cincinnati Reds
  • College Basketball: Kentucky Wildcats
  • Tennis: Rafael Nadal
  • Hockey: St. Louis Blues
• Brandon’s go-to learn to play tennis YouTube playlist.

Favorite Moments(approximate times)

00:32 | How Brandon and Sarah know each other
02:28 | Brandon's growing up story
03:21 | Faith story
05:00 | The story behing Brandon's love for leading teens
07:00 | Brandon's homeless story
10:24 | The Chico story
11:42 | Life during Corona virus and advice for teens
15:02 | Advice for parents of teens
17:55 | The loss of a sister
25:10 | How to grieve well
28:06 | Truths
32:48 | On long distance relationships, marriage, and one year in advice
39:55 | Hell week
41:14 | Brandon on sports
43:01 | Brandon shares something good

Tell us your story! We’re praying for you. Reach us at: podcast@sarahgood.com
View this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bvPnKHVI5Dg
Subscribe on your favorite podcasting platform: https://sgood.buzzsprout.com/
Follow Now That's Something Good: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

Need excellent royalty free music for any of your projects? All the music featured on the podcast is from Epidemic Sound. The selection is extensive. The site is easy to use. And with a subscription it’s all legal to use (and artists like us get compensated!) Use Epidemic Sound for your next project and you’ll benefit Now That’s Something Good. Please visit using our referral link to get started (and support us!) https://www.epidemicsound.com/referral/5pxceo/ 

Transcript

Youth Pastor Brandon Johnson

Youth Pastor Brandon Johnson joins the podcast.

2020, Sarah Good With Brandon Johnson
Now That's Something Good Season 1

Youth Pastor Brandon Johnson joins the podcast to talk about Youth Ministry, teens and parents in the Corona virus epidemic, grief, long-distance relationship, his first year of marriage adventures, "hell week", and his favorite sports teams.

Edit TranscriptStop Play-on-clickExport...?

Transcript

[0:44] Hey Brandon how are you,
I'm doing awesome thank you so much for having me on today Sarah really really am honored and to be one of your first guest I know you call them ordinary but just want to let you know I'm extraordinary well you know what Brandon you do fit the extraordinary part hey I'm glad to have you you're actually if this lines up right you're the first
guy that we've had fully on the podcast so no pressure,
you just got to represent well today I'm gonna try my best so thank you for having me on you're gonna do great so Brady I will start with this tell people how do we know each other.

[1:16] We have worked together for the last three years at 2 Rivers Church in O'fallon Missouri yes outside of st. Louis and.
You started out as the part-time worship leader and I was I'm a youth pastor and now you've moved all the way up to director of staff is that your time she's like the F10 so now
I am honored to say you're my boss and it's been great to work with you it's been a lot of fun I really enjoyed getting to know Brandon and just his story he is a lot of fun so Brandon I actually want to start with this where
okay so you said you work at your research.
What's your tell us a little bit about your job there so for the last almost three years I've been the youth pastor and youth pastor means I'm the pastor of sixth through twelfth grade students and yeah it's been amazing it's my first time being a youth pastor
I've have some great youth leaders that volunteer underneath me
I work with some great pastors who support and believe in the Next Generation coming up and so it's been a blast I've gotten to be a kid hanging out with teenagers but at the same time
yeah it's been it's been amazing it's been a it's been a privilege to be able to serve in that way so no pressure but
and I know you really can't have favorites but I'm pretty sure there's at least two girls that might be some of your favorites that might share my last name but can you confirm neither confirm nor deny that or you know your two daughters Lily and Evelyn.

[2:36] For them a lot because they have two parents that just I wonder about so I know actually one of the first things bring one of our,
first conversations I remember early on Lily was like I think maybe in seventh grade when you started.
And Brandon was being so nice and was like Sarah you and we'll just are great parents I could just tell through Lily and I remember looking at you going you have no clue no you guys are amazing parents well so.

[3:02] Your kids are evidence of that well I did not ask you to brag on that but we'll real take it it's a group effort and Brandon helps invest in so many kids lives so I want to back up Brandon tell us about okay because some of this I'm not don't think I even know where did you grow up.
I need like a little Brandon story like.

[3:20] Eight year old Brandon like we're tell us the beginnings so I grew up in Dayton Ohio okay and grew up in somewhat of a Christian home.
Even if my parents weren't going to church it's kind of funny they always had us in church and so that's why I say somewhat of a Christian home and have I'm the oldest,
of three siblings and so I have two younger sisters my parents actually never were married so my dad he lives in Colorado my mom.
Raise me and my sisters in Ohio,
my dad has another daughter and so she's 13 years old and lives in Colorado but grew up with two younger sisters I was the oldest brother
tease my sister's growing up I gave my life to the Lord when I was a young young kid and then really in high school though my faith took a step forward and.
Really it was at a church it was at a youth group and.
God really changed my life then and so led me to go to Bible College to study to be a pastor and.

[4:24] Yeah so I think that here you are so before you came to Two Rivers what were you doing kind of job occupationally before that.
So as I was working on my Master's Degree I was a substitute teacher you so let's just agree I do you didn't know that I think I do know that actually now that I remember looking at your resume but
yes smarter than I thought
thanks Sara so I was a substitute teacher which love that got to hang out with teenagers in the public schools.
I moved to Denver Colorado and I worked at a nonprofit called the Denver Rescue Mission.
And I was a volunteer coordinator than I was a chaplain for the guys that were going through the it was a christian-based rehab program that the goal was to help.
Homeless guy come off the street and then in a year and a half be a self-sufficient Citizen and it was a christian-based program so I was kind of a case manager and a chaplain spiritual influence on the guys as they
went through the program I did that for a few years loved it I moved back to Missouri to be closer to family.
And worked with foster care teenagers with an amazing organization actually in St Louis called the Missouri Baptist Children's Home did that for over a year and then.
The opportunity opened up for me to be the youth pastor here and o'fallon's yeah have you always had a love for like.

[5:44] Teens are serving people because all of your jobs are really kind of based around around that is yes so I knew in high school I was I felt really strong I knew in my,
I knew in the deepest part of my heart that God wanted me to be in full-time Ministry and so it was one of those things I think God just.
Spoke to me or you know you just know in your knower that if you were to do I knew if I was to do anything else with my life I.
Wouldn't be obeying the calling that God out of my life ends but I didn't know exactly what that looked like I didn't know if Ministry was a youth pastor or.
Missionary or a pastor whatever you know and so I kind of just took it one step at a time and.
God I felt like guided me one step at a time you know he doesn't always show us everything out in the future but he does guide us into the next season of life and so.

[6:36] Um so yeah that that opportunity opened up in Denver to work at a non-profit and then.

[6:43] The Next Step kind of opened up and then the next step opened up so I'm just along for the journey and I don't know
I love being a youth pastor I don't know if I'll be a youth pastor till I'm 70 but I'm enjoying it for now will be an interesting story I kind of love to see you trying to do that hey so Brandon this is totally I did not tell him I was going to ask this but I think you have a really interesting story
about your time in Denver and working with homeless people did you do some kind of.

[7:10] Fear marriage or something I don't know what you'd call it yeah so it's a large can tell it's definitely a story we can tell it's really looking back it was it was kind of a Crossroads in my life but I was actually living in Missouri at the time
and I was looking for a youth pastor job or a Ministry job what
you know something to open up and I had the whole summer off because I was a substitute teacher while I was going through
Seminary and so I'm like man this is might be my last summer to just kind of do whatever yeah and so I've made a big list of bucket list items for the summer like what should I do
and the one that I circled and decided on was to go out to Denver and to live as a homeless person.

[7:50] And so I knew I wanted to go to Denver someday that was one of my goals and I thought what better way to start off doing Ministry and Denver than 2
to live with the homeless and so I did that I drove out long story park my car at a friend's uncle's house and I just walked downtown
and stayed at the homeless shelters slept under,
Bridge met the homeless guys I never told them that I was what I was doing I kind of just flew under the radar and a lot of cool stories in and through that but while I was a homeless guy in Denver I.
Went to the Denver Rescue Mission to eat and to go to the chapel and
to stay the night there and I thought whenever I moved to Denver no matter what I do I want to volunteer at the Denver Rescue Mission and so I did that when I moved to Denver started speaking in their chapel and volunteering on the,
food line the food service line and ended up turning into a job.
And then yeah so that's crazy so what it what was your like biggest takeaway or something I mean that had not be easy.
And heart and I'm sure you met a lot of interesting people oh yeah absolutely I mean was it.

[8:58] Ever a little scarier very much so yeah I had family members that weren't happy with what I was doing
and so even left my phone at home I would go to the library and email my mom like Mom I'm still alive don't worry but yeah I'll never forget probably the thing that stuck out to me the most was this one night I was I met a few homeless guys
one of them named was Chico and Chico invited me to sleep under the bridge with he and some of his have some of his guys it was almost like a little homeless Community okay,
Chico even it was summer so I didn't really need it but he got me a sleeping bag until I get back under the it's the Spear Street Bridge right by the REI in downtown Denver and.
It's like 1:00 a.m. and I'm just hanging out with with the guys and they're smoking and drinking and and you know the conversation was entertaining I was just kind of like a fly on the wall in a sense homeless guys.

[9:52] They're not to be mean but they're self-consumed you know they don't really ask like about you or.
Like what's your story I mean Chico was nice in the sense he got me a sleeping bag thought of me but nobody really asked me like you know why are you here yeah so I was just a fly on the wall and I remember they were.
Sitting around and one guy was playing guitar and and so he for some reason he handed me guitar and I'm not a musician but I know a few.
A few like secular songs that are like Sweet Home Alabama and stuff like that so I started playing some secular songs they're like all about it and then I run out of stuff to play and so then I start singing worship songs.

[10:32] And Chico looks at me the other guys look at me and they're like you know I won't say it on air but they're like.
Yeah man beep that's beeping good keep singing that beep and soaps um so I'll sudden I start playing Amazing Grace and we're sitting underneath this bridge in downtown Denver like six homeless guys and.
They know the words
and so I'm I'm singing this song and like I cannot believe this is happening right now I'm singing Amazing Grace with homeless men under a bridge wow in the middle of the night in Denver and so that really fueled my
just passion to go to Denver and work at the Denver Rescue Mission
Brandon that is so cool I love that I love it so tell me about being a youth pastor like how what has been surprising about that what has been hard about that
what are you oh man well I mean working with people there's always challenges to it but honestly I've enjoyed every step of it.

[11:27] As far as being a youth pastor one thing that I really have.

[11:30] Come to realize is it's all about relationship you know I spend hours praying and thinking and working on my messages which I love speaking to teenagers and I think that makes a difference but
really boils down to relationship and I tell that to my small group leaders that are that serve at our youth ministry its
relationship relationship relationship and a kid doesn't really care how much you know until they know how much you care about them and so we really try to be relationship based in small groups and activities and
our small group leaders do a great job reaching out to their kids even if it's not at church and yeah and Phoenix and I my wife we do the same thing with kids and so
really it's all about relationship and,
looking back in my youth group I don't remember a lot will my youth pastor said but I remember my relationship with him I remember going to camp and.
They're not can't but Retreats and missions trips and stuff and,
and so it's all about relationship really that's really cool so we've been in the middle of coronavirus time which is affected everybody not a person not affected by that and.
It's just been super interesting your job and the teens and their school year didn't end the way it was supposed to you have the whole seniors that you've got that didn't get the graduate didn't get to do.
Prom and all of those things what are you what have you been hearing or experiencing with teenagers kind of in this season.
Yeah everything that they care about so much keeps getting canceled yeah and so on one end of the spectrum though it's been.

[13:00] It's been a good thing in a sense for some of our teenagers that are so.
Motivated they have jobs they have multiple extracurricular activities they have homework which they excel in school our kids are are high Achievers and so
at first it kind of put them in the slow lane of life and I think that helped with anxiety and just some of the stresses of Life yeah to get out of the busyness but
as it's going on it's just disappointing you know everything is cancelled and you just can't
I really look forward to the future in some senses because you just don't know right what's going to happen and so I feel for them.
I think it's taken a toll we've worked really hard at maintaining relationships whether it be Zoom groups on online trying to build an online youth ministry and so.

[13:49] That's good so for any teens teens listening oh my voice is cracking.
Wow there's real life moment for any teens or younger students college-age listening what is some encouragement that you would just give them.
In life being a little bit you're a little further further along.
Age-wise what's something that you would tell them or encourage them right now you know when life gets crazy especially it's just get back to the basics get back to the fundamentals
you know we don't know what the future holds but we do know who holds the future I know that's cliche but it's so true one thing I tell our students and I tell
anybody.

[14:29] It is our relationship with God is the most important relationship and sometimes loneliness or being,
separated is an invitation from God to grow deeper in your walk with him and to spend time with him so I tell students all the time that
they're alone time with God whether that be prayer.
Or Bible reading or journaling or whatever it is for them that alone time with God is the most important time of the day it's the most important relationship in their life and that church and serving God is Not.
All about the rules you know God doesn't want us to obey him but it's about that relationship with God it's about,
knowing Christ not just knowing about Christ but knowing him so I just encourage teens no matter what is going on in life to really.
Press into your walk with God to spend time with the Lord because really that's the most important relationship in life and from that everything in life flows from our walk with God that's good
I think that's a good reminder to all of us no matter what age we are definitely for students and for them learning that at that age is going to make such a huge difference.
As they grow and mature but for all of us that like I said it's the most important relationship and when we don't have that in focus and everything else kind of gets hard and out of focus but.

[15:50] So there are a lot of people listening that are maybe either Parenting teenagers maybe their and Uncle maybe they just have influence somewhere with some teens what would you encourage them just.
Man the life of teenagers is you're seeing that super up close what it's like to be that age how would you encourage them to relate to them or what anything.
Absolutely so
there's a there's a saying that was taught to me years ago and it makes so much sense rules without relationship equals rebellion and so we've got to have relationships with our teenagers and life gets so busy in there so many hobbies and things that pull us away from relationship.

[16:26] You know as a parent I'm not a parent yet.
I see it where parents say you know do this don't do that you know go to church blah blah you know and so it's all about the dues but really rules without relationship because Rebellion so
a kid has to have a relationship with you or what you say is yeah it is kind of falling on deaf ears and
um another thing I like to say is he who spends the most time wins and.
Whether you have a teenager whether you're in Ministry working with kids or people in general he who spends the most time when's and so I encourage especially moms with their sons.
Like find a way to get into their world go play basketball with them even if you stink you know make them sit down and say hey we're going to play.
Monopoly tonight and you know at sent you might get a little push back at first but then once you're in the middle of it.
That is so valuable to kids is to have that not only quality but quantity of time and then dads with their daughters I just see working with teenagers how important.
A mom's relationship with a son is and how important a dad's relationship with a daughter is and so whatever it takes to get into their world.

[17:42] Rules without relationship equals Rebellion he who spends the most time wins it's and I'll give a shout-out to one of the pastor's on our staff Nick his wife Amy yeah.
Plays basketball with
her son and her son's friends and you know she probably stinks you can tell her I said that but she's doing that I remember talking to Mason about it I could tell it was important to him yeah and so get into your kids world and I think.

[18:08] Yeah those little moments make a huge difference right and you don't realize I know will and I have just talked about in her own parenting journey of,
when we ask our kids what do they remember their never remembering the like the things we bought them.
The things we didn't tell them to do they're remembering the moments in like even some times where I'm like I didn't even remember that made a big difference to you but it made a huge difference and so yeah whether you're a parent or,
just have some teens around getting into their world spending time with them is huge,
hi guys I'm Lillian good and I'm interrupting my mom's combo with Brandon for just a minute.
We hope that each story and conversation new here on the now that's something good podcast is bringing you encouragement and a little good to your day.
We'd love a few take a moment to share this episode with a friend or two or ten.
We love sharing stories and good things around here and your shares reviews and subscriptions are huge and helping us continue to tell.

[19:01] Thank you so much we are grateful for each and every one of you listening now back to my mom's combo with Brandon.

[19:08] Okay Brandon so I want to switch gears a little bit.
Talk about your family life a little bit you have a really interesting and hard story that happened over the last couple of years would you want to talk about that with us for a little bit yeah it's going to be hard to talk about it but I want to
and because I think it might help some people but yeah so.
My sister who is she's the middle she was the middle child and really close
close growing up I was her big brother so I always tease them and I was really close to my sisters but As I Grew Older got into college we became more friends you know we developed a deep friendship so I was really close to
my sister and in 2015 she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma,
and then the week that week or so later we found out it was stage 4 which is never a good thing if you
I have struggled with cancer know somebody that struggled that's like the worst news to be in stage 4 and it to be that aggressive and advanced and so you know our world was flipped upside down as the bigger brother I did everything in my power to
you know try to find the best course of treatment and you know she was.
It was up to her decisions but I was trying to do the best that I could you know and and so she ended up getting down to the supposedly the best cancer hospital in the country one of them MD Anderson did chemo did six months of chemo.

[20:36] It's not really clear if the cancer ever went away but soon after her chemo is done at came back and then the next step.
In treating Hodgkin's lymphoma has to do stem cell transplant and it's a it's a pretty intense procedure
makes you not be able to have kids and they really don't give you a great chance of even beating it but that's the next that's the next line of treatment and so she was kind of back and forth on what she wanted to do on that she did some naturopathic stuff and.
She did a clinical trial and then some of that stuff really worked for a couple years you know we were praying all along and
you know I believe God answers answers huge prayers as well as small prayer solve for those two years after she started doing the clinical trial in the naturopathic stuff we thought maybe.
God healed her you know and she looked amazing and she was you know doing so well and then.

[21:34] She started to have symptoms and she was told by her doctor that it wasn't cancer is just pneumonia and so for a long time but ended up being cancer and so the by the time she got back into the hospital.
Um she was pretty far along again and the cancer and and so then she did chemo,
and during that time of doing chemo she did not respond very well the the cancer was being aggressive and she ended up getting an infection and passing away,
so

[22:09] The good news is she's she was a firm believer had a strong relationship with God and all along we were praying for God to heal her on Earth but ultimately,
he healed her and Heaven you know and so that people call Christianity a crutch sometimes but then sometimes God
does hold us up when we're going through tough times and I think our faith is built more than just on a on a crutch when life gets tough but it is so comforting to know and believe what,
my full heart that God did heal her just not the way I wanted right absolutely.
Brandon what did those moments and days and months and even out just celebrated the two-year anniversary right July 1st July 1st 2018 is when she passed two years.
What did what did that look like what were those moments I'm sure they were incredibly difficult but oh yeah.
I mean you want to be there for your mom and your dad and my other sister and.
But honestly to be you know gut-level honest I like to isolate yeah and and so it's something that I have to force myself to.

[23:22] Spend time with family sometimes during those holidays and during the anniversary cuz man it's just makes it even tougher and it's still very fresh and I'll probably start crying in a minute but yeah being there for each other is huge.

[23:37] Still very fresh and and you know.

[23:42] But I forget what she even asked it's okay I don't remember now either know I know you asked how I was celebrating and and it you know we do want to celebrate and mourn at the same time and be there for each other but I've tried to.
To not think about the what if she would have done this what if she would have done that you know.
And focus on her life she lived an amazing life she was.
She worked at the Missouri Baptist Children's Home as well she had a passion for teenagers she made a huge difference so yeah try to celebrate the good stuff she seemed like an amazing person I never got to meet her but was able to attend
her funeral and just hearing the stories that were told,
you were able to speak at the funeral which I thought was incredible the huh and what you shared and she seemed like she definitely had touched a lot of people and yeah it's amazing like you said she's.

[24:33] Been with Jesus and that's hard here and so what would you you say Brandon because it is hard right no one wants to lose somebody no one would choose that.
And even when we know they're in a better place and we can know that and believe that it does not make it a magical cure for having to live now day by day and Moment by moment and birthdays and holidays passed.

[24:58] What would you say to somebody dealing.
With that real grief and not real hardness of hey I want to trust God but I'm also kind of angry yeah,
don't shove it away feel you know it's it's something that you want to talk to somebody about I did counseling for a while and it really helped and so probably should keep
keep doing that on a regular basis it really did help me especially you know when the first
shock and Trauma happened it was a you know when people pass away from cancer a lot of times it's a gradual thing yeah since it was an infection it was a sudden
yeah just dramatic yeah loss and so there was a lot that I had to talk through and.
So seeing a counselor was was huge for me there's a book that really helped me called Through The Eyes of a lion by Levi lusco which I really recommend for anybody dealing with any type of grief.
That helped me a tremendous amount Pastor Ron who's our pastor he said something during the time of my grieving initially was.
That time doesn't heal all wounds but wounds don't heal without time and so giving time time and.

[26:10] So that's really help to you know I still have terrible days of grief and waking up in the middle of the night or you know a little triggers that I see that I'll make me think about my sister but time is a great healing agent that God gives us,
counseling God uses that an amazing way and that book really help me out that's good what would you say for those.
Around you maybe just your specific that was helpful so for those of us that maybe haven't lost someone or we're trying to help somebody who's dealing with grief.
Were there things that were really helpful that people did are also things you would say hey maybe don't do that.
And that's a great question because you know everybody means well it's so you know it's good to see stuff through that filter but it's also easy to get
upset and offended like how could you say that you know you haven't lost your best friend and your sister dramatically and so.

[27:02] I don't know I think everybody's trying their best so I would just say.

[27:07] Give yourself patients give other people Grace give yourself Grace it's not going to.
It's not going to go away quick I think like not rushing the grieving process not getting rid of belongings too soon or yeah you know it's one of those things where you can be led by your feelings like if you don't feel like.

[27:28] Cleaning out the closet that they that they had their stuff in and don't do it until you till you're ready I think that's that's an important thing but surrounding yourself with with people that.
That that know the person that you lost is is important and just always like I make it a habit to call.
Those that love Brittany the most on a regular basis just I mean not even trying to fix them not even trying to.
Even asked about my sister necessarily but just to call check-in I know my grandpa he lost his wife and he lost my sister to the closest people in his life and the same
couple years yeah and so he's at home alone at night you know and so I agree for him.

[28:14] A lot so just trying to stay in close contact but there is there is something inside of you that wants to withdraw that wants to isolate and.

[28:24] Never a good thing consistently to be isolated maybe for a short time but I would say resist isolation press into relationship because what's hurt and relationship is also healed in relationship so that's good.
Is there something that you feel like out of that time that you learned knew about God and about who he was through that grieving time or through these last couple years.

[28:48] Yeah you asked yourself why you know I mean there's so many things looking back if she would have done this treatment instead of this then things might have been different and you ask God like man one little thing you could have changed that would have.
The butterfly effect would have changed all the other stuff and so you just wonder why and really the thing that.
My relationship with God took a deeper,
um to a deeper place was his sovereignty and his control of every single thing and how that works with our Free Will and his control is still a mystery yeah but being able to sit back at the end of the day and say.
These things are true God is in control prayer works.

[29:29] I don't understand everything going on and I'm okay with not understanding everything going on and ultimately just sitting back and saying I have to trust God.
It's not my job to know the truth and every situation it's my job to trust God in every situation so really to release control and to say,
I know God you're in control and you're going to bring good from this and.

[29:53] Just kind of have to sit back and just trust I know I said the same thing like Sixto that's okay that's good trusting in the sovereignty of God in all of life situation yeah,
so if you can I know what are some good things that maybe you've seen out of this really hard situation.

[30:10] I mean her funeral the gospel was preached at her funeral I think all of her friends that maybe not were serving God.

[30:20] No Britney's life and I think they were they were challenged by that and and.
Britney's relationship with God was really amazing and her heart for people and her kindness and I think the people that know her that'll make a difference in their life
you know I can't sit back and say one specific thing but I know God promises to bring good out of every situation so I know he is and I know he's going to continue
and there's a lot that I would like to do in honor of my sister I mean we've planted a tree weave
there's been friends and family that have done different things but honestly it's just kind of too soon it's one of those things where I know I want to do something in her honor something big
but I'm not going to rush that and I'll know when I know absolutely um always keeping an eye out for for how I can honor my sister's life.
Phoenix was my wife was amazing where she raised money to get a bench in Brittany's on her so there's a bench and a Bible verse in a tree at the place she worked these are about to children's home so
that's one thing but there's going to be a lot more in the future that we're going to do to honor her life it's just.

[31:30] Still pretty fresh yeah well I love that right now you can share the story because I know,
somebody listening is going to have a story similar or close and by you sharing something really hard I know it's going to continue to bring God glory but it's going to continue to honor Britney's lifo that you just speak about it and that you share about it and.
What could have taken you under you didn't allow to and you keep moving even when it's really hard absolutely just one more thing about grief because I think sometimes for those of us that are maybe on the outside like when that I mean I remember you we were working together when that happened.
And it was really hard to know what to say or what to do because you didn't want to say all the cliche like you know.
You don't want to say that God is working all things are good although I mean we believe that but it's like that's not the right time or place.
How does it feel like are you good with people when they ask about her like I mean does that help like when people ask things or remember or is that.
Harder for those of us dealing like the drum outside like what do we do do we say anything do we bring it up because I think sometimes there's like tension like well I don't want to I don't want to make somebody sad.
By saying something but what's your take on on that for you at least.

[32:37] Yeah I think it's always good to touch base with people even if it's not asking.
Like for details or to dig up old things and just to check in and say you know how you doing.
If you ever need somebody to talk to I'm here for you or I'm praying for you you don't have to text me back I just wanted to say.

[32:55] I'm here for you love you and praying for you if you ever if you ever need to talk please you know let me know and so
to have that support and people in my life like you and so many people at our church and family and friends I feel very supported and,
and that's important I don't I don't think everybody that's grieving has that support so looking for opportunities for God to use you in that use you just to reach out and say I'm here for you.
How are you yeah that's good.

[33:22] Okay I don't know how we really completely switch gears after that because that's hard and heavy but we're going to make a little bit of a turn because here's one good thing that I see that was happening throughout that really whole hard time,
you were when I first met you you were single that no relationship which was.

[33:40] Interesting with you're going to be auntie I was just like oh my goodness we're putting this young,
guy in with a bunch of teenage girls this is going to be how many times are we going to hear Brandon this bridge but it's been good it was so good but you very quickly,
develop a relationship with your now wife which the part of the good that I was saying is you've developed that relationship was building and all during that whole time right that will season over these last couple years.
So talk to us a little bit about your relationship with Phoenix you've just gotten married you just celebrate one year anniversary what was it what was your
what was the date August 2nd August 2nd one year one year you made it I did so I thought I was gonna die alone but God
God blessed me with an amazing amazing wife I'm 33 so I was getting pretty old and I didn't know if it was ever gonna happen but yeah we dated long-distance I had known her.
Through mutual friends for about 5 years yeah,
we struck up a long-distance relationship which wasn't ideal but through FaceTime and phone calls and I wasn't a big texter I was like let's not text I just it's just all day I'm like let's just talk on the phone or FaceTime yeah.

[34:52] Through.
Airline miles through our Airline credit cards we were able to get a lot of free flights so we would try to see each other every four or five weeks whether she came here I went out there and yeah,
and yes of the long-distance relationship worked every kind of step of the road I would if I would have a doubt or like.
Question about our relationship I would pray about it and say God I don't know about this part and.
Before I knew it like that would be answered in my in my heart and mind so it was really something God had his hand upon and.

[35:22] I'm so thankful for her she moved here last summer and then we got married a few months after that and so.
She's been a huge blessing a huge help in my grieving process that's for sure she's so supportive loves God with all of her heart.

[35:38] Easy to get along with our first year of marriage you know a lot of people said it's going to be hard
and terrible and it's like okay so that wait wait wait if you are married do not tell other young people that it's going to be horrible we were joke we were just actually come out this we were at your guys's house and I was like why do people feel the need before you get married and before you have children
to tell you all of their horror stories and you're like great why does anybody ever get married or why does anybody ever have kids but.
But you've not had a horrible Year you guys talk about you're actually dead I feel like we were both older when we got married so I think that helped us being more mature I would say our relationship with God and just.
God changing us before we got together was very yeah very advantageous and so
but she's just humble she's quick to forgive she's doesn't get offended easy she looks for ways to serve me I look for ways to serve her yeah I mean
marriage is tough in some senses we've had disagreements and I've hurt her feelings and what we've worked through it and it's been every.

[36:42] Conflict has been growth and so I'm sure we're going to have tough roads ahead in some sense but so far it's been.
Then Bliss and it's like having a sleepover every night it's it with your best friend but I think there are benefits to getting married older I think there have benefits to getting married younger yeah,
one of my good friends he got he and his wife got married when they were in their early 20s and it's cool to see them grow up together yeah they say a guy's brain is not fully developed so 30 and I think that's absolutely correct and so
but to see to have younger people get married to the right type of person yeah and then growing up together I think there have benefits to that too so.

[37:23] So did you think well okay cuz how old were you when you met,
Phoenix in 30 years I'm at Phoenix mm I mean like when you started when we started dating I was 31 I think so what did you think did you think like weird I've never asked you this before this is gonna get good right now did you think like.
I'm just never going to get married were you thinking like no this is still going to hat like what were you thinking what was
28 29 year-old Brandon thinking I mean it was discouraging I had a handful of serious relationships and just for one reason or another they broke up with me or I broke up with the number and so it was one of those stories I'm kidding I'm totally kidding next time
Phoenix and I joke that both of our families thought we were just gonna they thought she was going to be a nun and they thought I was going to be some.
Single dude till the day I died so when we got finally got together everybody was surprised but I think the key was Phoenix and I.

[38:17] We could have gotten married to other people and been happy I think but we didn't want to we didn't want to.

[38:24] I hate to use the word settle because I really think I really think you can be married to somebody that loves God and be happy I'm not necessarily saying God has one person for you I think God,
once you to marry the right type of person but I think Phoenix and I both waited until we were a hundred percent excited about marrying that person yeah and,
which I think should probably be for Annie should be if you're not a little excited about marrying something might want to reconsider your right choice right there it's not just getting married to get married yeah so.

[38:55] We both waited and it was tough it really is tough being single all through your 20s and yeah you know and wanting to be married and yeah.
Start a family but which I guess I should say now I mean in some ways nowadays me that's not real I mean it's not like you're old by any me right I mean it's just sometimes especially in the circles that we probably run in with.
The college you went to is like a lot of people are getting married in before they're 25 right so it kind of seems like once you pass that 25 Mark sometimes when people start giving would people say things to you like.
Ask you about when are you going to get me I mean like would you get those funny single
comments it's different in Denver it's very different than in the Bible Belt yeah I'm so Denver it was totally cool I didn't stick out but Usery it's like well what's wrong with this guy so that's great yeah
well that's good okay so I have to ask this you in Phoenix and Brandon they're just some of the coolest people and so you
you guys do these different like Phoenix is really big on themed nights so I feel like you guys have had a lot of these Adventures would you like to just expound on something but like.
You guys have gone camping yeah I mean we both love camping but I'm pretty boring in the sense of if I like something I just want to do it over and over yeah guy want to play tennis I want to eat Chipotle.
I want to go to church and then come home and watch Tennis and she.

[40:15] Likes Variety in life which is it's a good balance and so yeah she loves themes and so yeah one time we camped out on the back porch and I had a fire and made
s'mores and stuff like that and one time we dressed up like,
Hillbillies and went out and they that some hobos restaurant I mean little things like that just make a big difference to her so if I plan something even if it's small she loves it and.
I feel like you guys should take keep a running list of all the things you've done and I think we should just release it as a part of like,
people would love it those are good things yeah it's crazy like acted I mean one advice two dudes out there I'm not an expert I've only been married a year but if you plan something even if,
like it takes minimal thought but if you show your girl that you plan something for her with with her and mind it makes a big difference.

[41:06] As a female I would agree that does make a huge difference goes a long way to show that you had some thought to care
hear about it you guys recently were telling this you did this challenge a discipline challenge right I feel like I need you to talk about this is
we called it we called it hell week and we wrote down every discipline that we thought was good and we tried to do them for a week and kept each other accountable.
Um like if for example one of mine is.
Flossing is amazing and it's so good for you and I know that but I hate flossing like at the end of the day I'm so tired I just want to plop in bed.
And so before marriage I just could not conquer that I guess that sounds I could not I'd go for streaks but being married it's like she.

[41:48] If I don't floss I have to do the punishment that we came up with her so we've helped each other become more disciplined and it's funny but
so hell week was all these like all the disciplines and you didn't just do them what you did all of the disciplines for one week right yeah so they must you more know they still an alcoholic to never say I'm never going to drink again they just say.
Today I'm not going to drink yeah so we kind of took that out that were alcoholics but that we took that same mentality to say we're just going to do this for one week straight yeah no compromises no Grace and just,
go a hundred percent and then you know Monday then we'll just splurge and just do whatever but it wasn't because it was fun I love it,
so Brandon you're a sports guy.

[42:32] Do you want to talk to me about what did sport did you play growing up and I wish I would have started tennis at a younger age I just love tennis now it's been a newer favorite sport since 2015 I've gotten to it but I grew up playing golf baseball football,
and I just love sports still do okay you're right Ultimate Frisbee this morning with a bunch of nice nice.
Who's your favorite football team Cleveland Browns I've never given up on them Ivano there they've broken my heart so many times still hold out hope yeah baseball.
Who's your favorite Cincinnati Reds Cleveland Indians okay basketball.

[43:08] College basketball I like Kentucky Wildcats the NBA I'm not too much into it I was really excited when LeBron one in Cleveland and kind of the city needed it they had a championship for like 50 some years but not a huge LeBron fan.
But you're Michael Jordan fan right all the way but I don't get too much into it during the regular season you hockey guy doll.
During the playoffs that we live I lived here during the blues championship and that was a lot of fun as I say for not even somebody who's a hawk I mean that's kind of cool that we
st. Louis has some great sports fans
yeah qu tennis players who's your favorite Rafael Nadal I still think he can be go down as the greatest of all time totally respect Federer and Djokovic but I'm rooting for an adult to to break the Grand Slam record when it's all said and done
so what would be your face somebody wants to get into tennis what's your pro you got a pro pro tip for.
I'd say either spend a bunch of money on lessons if you have it that's the ideal way or what I've done is just watch YouTube videos and then go out and get frustrated yeah.
Wow I love it okay Brandon so we're going to wind down our conversation this has been good I think people are going to.
Enjoy this episode right now if so they will be shared a lot of really good things so the podcast is called now that's something good.

[44:24] So what's something good Brandon what something I would just reference that the book that I read the helped me so much in grieving and so if you know somebody that's struggling with grief or if you're struggling with grief it's called Through The Eyes of a lion.
And it's by Pastor Levi lusco and.
Whether you're a Christian or not it's still great greats material on Grief he lost his daughter Christmas Eve I think it was two yeah.

[44:50] And asthma attack ER it was something traumatic and just to hear his story and then to hear his grieving process really was inspirational so Through The Eyes of a lion okay that's good we'll definitely link it in the show notes people can go directly find it but
Brandon thank you so much for being on the podcast amazing you're amazing Sarah you're an amazing mom Pastor worship leader I love you and your husband and your family so proud of you guys for doing this podcast I think it's going to help a lot of people.

[45:17] Thank you Brandon it's mutual.