Beers On Me Podcast
Beers On Me Podcast
Chuck Norris: The Martial Arts Icon Who Became a Meme Legend
Featured Beer: Watchstander Stout from Ghostfish Brewing Company out of Seattle, Washington.
Chuck Norris transcended being just another action hero to become a cultural phenomenon whose legend only grows with time. Through martial arts mastery, iconic films, television stardom, and ultimately internet immortality, Norris represents a uniquely American brand of toughness wrapped in self-aware humor.
Our conversation dives into the remarkable career of a man who holds black belts in seven different martial arts disciplines and boasts a professional fighting record of 183-10-2. From his early breakthrough fighting Bruce Lee in "Return of the Dragon" to becoming a household name as Walker, Texas Ranger, we track the evolution of an authentic martial artist who brought real fighting credentials to the screen.
What truly distinguishes Norris from other action stars is his cultural afterlife through "Chuck Norris facts" - those hyperbolic statements about his superhuman abilities that became one of the internet's earliest and most enduring memes. Rather than resisting this new form of fame, Norris embraced it with good humor, extending his relevance to generations who might never have seen his films.
Beyond the roundhouse kicks and internet jokes, we explore Norris's philanthropic work, his successful fitness empire, and his continued influence on American pop culture. At 83, Chuck remains an icon whose appeal bridges generational divides - equally at home in action films, television syndication, and TikTok videos.
Whether you're a longtime fan who grew up watching "Missing in Action" or someone who only knows Chuck through memes claiming he can divide by zero, this episode celebrates an American original whose cultural footprint continues to expand. And remember - Chuck Norris doesn't listen to podcasts. Podcasts listen to Chuck Norris.
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When the boogeyman goes to sleep, every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer Too bad. He never cries.
Mouth:Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and everyone in between, welcome to another exciting episode of the Beers on Me podcast. I'm your host Mouth, and joining me, as always, are the dynamic duo of wit and wisdom, merlin and Shiggs. Say hi guys.
Merlin:Hi everyone, hope you're ready for a round of laughter, fun facts and all things Chuck Norris.
Shiggs:That's right, because today we're diving headfirst into the world of the man, the myth, the motherfucking legend, the one and only Chuck Norris.
Mouth:Oh, you better believe it. We've got our brews, our Chuck Norris jokes and a whole lot of Texas Ranger spirit ready to go. In this episode we'll explore Chuck's epic catalog of movies and TV shows. I mean, who else can roundhouse kick their way through bad guys with such style?
Merlin:And of course, we can't forget the fun facts. Did you know that Chuck Norris can divide by zero? Or that once he counted to infinity, twice Brace yourselves, because Chuck Norris trivia is coming at you fast and furious.
Shiggs:But it's not all about the laughs and the facts. We're also delving deep into the impact Chuck Norris has had on historical and contemporary pop culture. From internet memes to epic action scenes, Chuck has left his mark everywhere.
Mouth:So grab your favorite beverage, sit back and get ready to have your funny bone tickled, your mind blown and your love for Chuck Norris reignited. This episode is like a roundhouse kick to the senses and you won't want to miss a single moment.
Merlin:So, without further ado, let's raise our glasses and say together cheers to Chuck Norris and cheers to all of you, our awesome listeners. Now let's get this Chucktastic party started. This is Chuck Norris and this is the Beers on Me podcast.
Artificial Intelligence:Ladies and gentlemen, the show starts in three, two Ooh episode 59.
Merlin:Ooh, cincuenta y nueve God.
Shiggs:Why Every time Cinco nueve?
Merlin:No, well, it's a five and a nine. Yes, that's 14 if you add them.
Shiggs:Well, we're not adding Okay, it's just the way it is. You're wrong, god. Always with the Spanglish, or the Shanglish, I should say yes, I feel like you should always have my back on this mouth, because you normally do, but for some reason you refuse to on this, and I don't get it With your hold of the language.
Merlin:He's not following you into Mexico. I do not believe this.
Shiggs:I mean, I don't blame him, I wouldn't either.
Mouth:Because if we did go there, the neun und fünf-ish episode Neun. They would look at me like I was crazy if I said that down there oh neun, yeah, but you take me to Germany or somewhere like that. Maybe, maybe, yeah.
Shiggs:You were right, there Burns the nostrils a little bit the nostrils.
Mouth:The nostrils A little bit of bourbon, mmm, yummy. Yes, sir, tasty, though tasty.
Merlin:Yeah, we're having some bourbon from 2 Bar yes, 2 Bar distilled and bottled by 2 Bar. Where are they out of? I have no idea. This is made in amaretto barrels. Yes, so that's cool. We always start the show the pre-funk, the pre-funk With some whiskeys or bourbons. This is out of Seattle. Oh nice, two Bar Spirits, seattle Washington how about that? Local Age at least three years, so not bad at all. You know, good job, guys.
Shiggs:Yeah that is pretty, uh, that is stout Kind of gets you a little bit.
Mouth:There Jumps up and gives you in the boo-boo.
Merlin:Yeah, you can taste that Amarillo, but it's not sweet. Yeah, mmm, yes, you can taste that Amarillo, but it's not sweet. It's not sweet at all.
Shiggs:No, it is quite tasty, it's noise, it's noise.
Mouth:Yes, this bourbon. It's probably going to do what some other bourbons do and it gives me the liking, especially in the evening hours when I'm laying in bed. It gives me the liking. I like to fart under the covers, and then I look at my wife and I say you smell something burning. I think this bourbon is going to do it.
Merlin:Oh, by the way, my wife, my wife Shout out Doug Benson, yeah, he was just in town.
Shiggs:I know, dude, I saw an email, an old one, and it said Doug loves movie taping at the Tacoma Comedy Club. Yes, I was like what in. And it said Doug loves movie taping at the Tacoma comedy club. Yes, I was like what in the shit is this? How did I not know this?
Merlin:How did HEP not know this, and he's the one who lets us know about these things.
Mouth:Yes, yes.
Shiggs:No, I was so upset but I mean, obviously Doug wasn't doing Doug loves movies during COVID, right, so I don't know, maybe we forgot about him. As much as I hate to say that I haven't really listened to doug loves movies in a long time because he wasn't doing it, yeah, I feel that tacoma comedy club, which is a fantastic comedy club out there in tacoma, obviously in the name, yeah, but there's two of them now by the way, there are two yep and uh, they always send emails about who's in town.
Merlin:Yeah, yeah, and I get them religiously, but nothing on Doug Lozman. I saw it on their calendar on one that they sent me for this week's comedian and showed the past ones for the month, you know, and I was like, oh, that was how did we miss that?
Shiggs:Where was my email? Where was my email? Yeah, I was actually. I was just sitting there and I was talking to my wife, my wife, my wife, about it. And I was like yeah, I was like what the fuck is this? What's going on here? How did I not?
Mouth:know about this yes.
Shiggs:I was very upset, yeah.
Mouth:Yeah, we haven't missed one in years.
Shiggs:So it's been a while.
Mouth:To miss one. I mean it's.
Shiggs:He's back out doing Doug loves movies again, so he will be back, yeah, heck yeah, yeah.
Merlin:He always makes Tacoma stop. So he loves us, we love him.
Mouth:I'm excited for this episode, the second installment of the icon series.
Merlin:Yeah.
Mouth:Where we will cover the one and only. Yes, chuck Norris, chuck, yeah, chuckles, I'm excited to get into it, I'm into it, I'm I'm not going to say too much here in the beginning, just because there's so much content to go through when we go through there. So I figure, uh, we might as well just get this stuff kicked off with our beer, and before we actually crack these beers and get into it or actually we we can crack the beer, but before we start talking about the beer, I have a little something written up about it. Nice, yeah, well, okay. So so here here we go. Let's, let's do this. Talk in first and then we'll crack them How's that sound.
Mouth:That's fine, let's do it. The Watch Hender.
Merlin:Beers are yours.
Mouth:That's right. Oh yes, the beers are on me. They're mouth beers, mouth beers. Yep, everybody loves a good mouth beer. Oh, they're the best.
Merlin:Mmm, they seem moister than normal beers.
Shiggs:So it's the time of year, yeah, it's the weather it is, yeah.
Mouth:So what I've brought you for this episode is I went local again, into a craft brewery and I think I brought us a brewery that we haven't yet done but I really like a lot Maybe not and that is by Ghostfish Brewing brewing company the watch stander stout. So I figured uh, we're getting into the fall time, so it's time for a good fall beer. So we're gonna bring you this stout and here's my little write-up oh ah, the watch hander stout from ghostfish brewing company, a beer that's more reliable than your favorite sitcom character. This stout is so dark it's like peering into the abyss of your questionable life choices. The first sip hits you like a friendly slap, waking up your taste buds with a mix of roasted goodness and a hint of I've got my life together vibes.
Mouth:Drinking this stout is like having a stand-up comedian in your glass telling jokes. Only your taste buds can understand. It's so rich. It's like they condensed an entire chocolate factory into a can and then added a dash of mystery for good measure. After a few sips you might start to believe you have the wit of Oscar Wilde and the charm of George Clooney, and the charm of George Clooney, mmm. But beware, this stout is so smooth and delicious that you might find yourself in a heated debate with your inner self about whether you should share it or keep it all to yourself. It's a beer that makes you ponder life's important questions like why isn't this stout available in IV drips and can I get a lifetime supply please?
Merlin:I think that of all beer to tell the truth.
Mouth:In summary, the Watchstander Stout is not just a beer, it's a life experience. It's the kind of stout that makes you laugh, cry and then laugh again because you realized you were crying over a beer. So if you're looking for a drink that pairs well with good company, great jokes and the occasional existential crisis, look no further. Cheers to Ghostfish Brewing Company for creating a stout that's as unforgettable as that embarrassing childhood haircut you wish you could forget. Yeah.
Shiggs:From mouth. Damn dude. What the hell just went on there. If nobody Holy shit wants to try this beer after that, do they even have a soul? Right, that's right.
Merlin:How can they even drink beer?
Mouth:Good grief, I'm going to try this. Let's crack this baby Proud of you.
Shiggs:It's pouring nice Very nice, very nice, nice thick head on it.
Merlin:Yeah, buddy, head is nice and caramelly in color.
Shiggs:Oh my god, I can't even smell it before I even brought it up to my nose.
Merlin:Oh, uh, the color is is dark, dark chestnutty color. I can't really see through it. No, you can't see through it at all. Kind of breaks it a little bit, but not not much. The head is nice and thick and it doesn't dissipate at all, it just stays. Bubbles are nice and big.
Mouth:And we're drinking this stout warm, so we're doing it at room temp, proper temperature, which for a dark beer like a stout, normally you do drink it at room temp.
Merlin:Yeah, If you chill it you want to get down to maybe 50 degrees technically at the coldest. Really is where you want a good stout at, but room temperature about perfect, you know.
Shiggs:While you guys are tasting, let me read the can here. All right, roasted and malted. Really, let me try that again. Okay, roasted and malted. Millet, buckwheat and brown rice delivered coffee, toasted marshmallow and rich chocolate flavors straight from the dark side, while rolled oats contribute a fluffy and satisfying mouthfeel. Now everyone can safely explore the shadowy side of craft, thanks to Watchstander. It is nice Also gluten-free 100% gluten-free.
Merlin:I noticed that Gluten-free this is a gluten-free beer, 100% gluten-free.
Mouth:I noticed that Gluten-free this is a gluten-free- beer.
Merlin:So that's rare. We're at 6.5% alcohol and 30 IBUs, not that that matters too much. You can't taste them, so let me ask you this real quick.
Shiggs:So Great American Beer Festival. Yes, this got a gold in 2015. Sure, and also a gold in 2021. What happened in those years in between? Somebody was better, yep, but this probably didn't change. It probably did. Maybe a little bit Probably did, or was the competition just not that good in these two years? Probably.
Merlin:Yeah, I mean the GABF gets so many entries. I mean there are thousands of beers that get entered into this thing. If you went to this thing in Denver, you would never drink your way through it. I mean, you'd just be sloshed from the, from the free samples, and you would never even scratch the surface of this place, right? So it'd be like every time we go to a beer festival, pretty much, yeah, um, except this time it's not of our own volition, it's just a fact, yeah right um challenge accepted.
Merlin:Oh, beer festival, you won again damn you beer festival damn
Merlin:you but so I think that the testing and the judging is kind of subjective from yours. Because they got it. They got divided up into quad, into many different tasters and and judges to just get through the sheer volume of these things. Right, no one person can taste every stout that's in the competition, sure, uh, it's just not humanly possible, and so I think that's where some of the subjectivity comes in. But usually the people that are in the awards year after year, like this one, usually it's a top-notch beer. Really, I mean, it's still pretty hard to place in the gold, silver, bronze category and to do it twice.
Mouth:And to do it twice.
Merlin:Yeah, Chances are six years away from each other, you know beers change over the years, because that's the trick of brewing beers, especially in the craft world where you're dealing with smaller quantities and there's some variables that sneak in there. So, year by year, slowly, over time, the beer that you love, you know, this year, two years from now, it's going to taste different a little bit. So chances are that's what happened.
Shiggs:They tweaked it a little bit and came back up with a winner. Yeah, I don't know if you guys noticed you still got some bubbles going on in yours, but as mine fade away looks like a soda, it does kind of, yeah, like after you pour soda, right, and then just kind of just bubbling a little bit, yeah, maybe a tad darker throw some in there yeah, now, the aroma on this beer is just super malty, um, but the flavor is like super roasted and this is amazing, very roasty um, it's super good look, yeah, um, it finishes pretty clean.
Merlin:It hits all. It's very full in the mouth, um, but it it doesn't feel like you're chewing it.
Mouth:No, it's not thick at all.
Merlin:Um, it retains that lightness.
Mouth:That is kind of nice yeah it's got like a full-bodied flavor without being thick for a stout. Yeah, a little bit of bitterness on the back end, a little bit more than you get in some stouts. That's where the 30 IBUs come in. But I mean it's not that bad at all. It's not like a red quality or anything.
Shiggs:Yeah not that bad at all. It's not like a red quality or anything. Yeah, yeah, I will tell you though. I've got a, I've got a little little thingy of coconut water here that I'm drinking. I'm very tempted to pour it in there. You're gonna, you're gonna try a little something.
Merlin:I'm very tempted, just mix it in your shot glass there. Oh jesus part. Oh nice, out, see what I'm doing there. You got a little little bourbon, little stout, little cocoa nut. Let me see what happens here. That's going to be different. You got your own little beer mixology going on.
Mouth:I see which is a popular thing now.
Merlin:Have you noticed this in a lot of tap houses?
Mouth:Yeah, where they're coming up with their own little beer cocktails. Yeah.
Merlin:Mixing different things and whatnot.
Mouth:Why Shigza does that? Just for all of you out there, ghostfish Brewing Company is actually out of Seattle. Out of Seattle yeah, this is a very local to us brewery.
Merlin:And it's one of the Seattle breweries that I don't think we've done on the show yet. I don't know that we have, but we don't do enough of them for sure. No, for sure, every one.
Mouth:I've had has been fantastic. You there.
Merlin:Looking like yeah, Did it work Super excited, did it work.
Shiggs:Dude. Yeah, all right, dude, you don't like coconut, but I'll let him out and try it. All right, take a good swig, take a good one, a big one. There you go, keep going, that a boy.
Merlin:All right, and so I'm going to put in my notes here that Shiggs recommends.
Mouth:I would like a little bit more coconut flavor, I think. Yeah, I mean it was just a start, but yeah, that gave it a bit of like the lactose kind of thickness. So if you're looking to thicken the beer up, that definitely did it. So just for everybody's knowledge out there, shiggs made his own beer cocktail with the stout that we're drinking, the watchstander, and coconut water.
Shiggs:Yes, this is the Vita Coco, coco, pressed coconut water. By the way, yeah, the white container, yeah, but yeah, dogfish, you mean ghostfish, ghostfish, ghostfish, dogfishes, all kinds of fishes out there in the sea. You know what I'm saying? Ghostfish, anyway, ghostfish, okay, ghostfish, okay. I think we got something here. Hit me up, my friends. All right, there you go, let's make a beers on me, stout, ooh, with some coconut, with some coconut. Basically, just take your watch, stand or add coconut to it and we got something, yeah.
Merlin:It's magic, almost like hocus pocus, motherfucker that's right, that's right, that's right. Tis the season tis the season bitches, all right. So shiggs, what do you give it?
Shiggs:god, I couldn't set that up for you more perfect. Yeah, um, I like it a lot. I will say that. Um, I think you know I'm a big fan of stouts. Uh huh, we know this. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before multiple times. Yeah, I think what gets me here. So I'm going to give this, I'm going to go above my normal, I'm going aficionado. Oh my, oh nice On this one. Oh my, not just because I added the coconut to it. If it actually had the coconut in there, we're talking Thor status on this one, oh, okay, but I think it's the toasted marshmallow that does it for me. It adds just enough. And the coffee's not overpowering. That's in there, no, which I like. Yeah, I mean, if I'm going to drink coffee, I'm going to drink a coffee. I'm not drinking beer that tastes like coffee. Okay, right, sure.
Mouth:I don't see the point Aficionado, but anyway, yeah.
Shiggs:Well, they do have beer brewed with coffee. Oh, I know.
Merlin:I know the campfire they're not my favorite.
Shiggs:They're not my favorite, but most of them are not bad. Some are kind of rough, yeah, some are rough. Most are not bad, yeah, but yeah, marshmallow really adds just that little extra for me to put it above the Stone Cold Aficionado for me.
Mouth:I like it. All right, go for it. For me this is aficionado in my book as well. I really like the roasted flavor of this stout. Some stouts just don't bring enough of that roast out, and this one really does. But it's not overly thick, it's actually a little thinner, um, a little cleaner, uh, than than some of the other stouts I've had. And uh, shiggs is right like there's a just a hint, a hint of kind of what you would say is a toasted marshmallow flavor. That kind of levels it out just a smidge, very subtle, oh, and uh look at this yeah.
Mouth:So for me.
Merlin:Trust me on this it's aficionado. Yeah, aficionado, I agree, done dose. Okay. No, it's a very good stout, I will give you that. It finishes well, it tastes clean, the color and the head are damn near perfect on it for what it does. The head went away very quick, by the way it did, and I'd like it to stick around just a little bit more, but I am below you guys for sure on it. I would say.
Shiggs:To be fair, you're kind of a stout snob, if you will, sure. As with most beers you are, but especially the stouts.
Mouth:I know that you're very picky on your stouts and Merlin's also big about grading them on traditional. Like what is a traditional stout supposed to do?
Merlin:Yeah Right, this one's getting very dangerously close to porter territory. Yes, it is, you know that's very fair. And it has a lot of properties of a very, very good porter as well, yep, and I think for most people, if they were to put porter on this, they wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Merlin:No, damn good porter, yeah I agree, right, yeah, and so that's what I knock it down with, because the distinguishing line between the two is a little blurred. So I do like it. It's a very good beer. So it's a lower stone cold, I would say upper tap house kind of thing, I'll give it the stone cold, stone cold, I'll give it the stone cold because it's very good. I would drink a lot of these.
Shiggs:Oh yes, stone Cold is very solid, it's probably the most solid rating that we have.
Mouth:Yeah.
Merlin:Yeah, I'd like to go higher with it, but it's just not quite there.
Mouth:Yeah.
Merlin:In the stout category. It hasn't solidified itself in the characteristics. To be firmly, I am a stout, you know kind of thing. It's just the little things, it's just the little things.
Mouth:But when it comes to stouts and porters, those little things really stand out to me more than any other. I think where it pulls more of the stout than the porter is because it's a little drier on the back end, whereas a porter isn't nearly as dry as this beer is.
Merlin:Yeah, yeah, it's just a little bit off of a really good, it's like right of a grain stout that is warranting of the aficionado in my book or higher, yeah, and so I'm stuck in a stone cold tap house kind of thing. You could drink the hell out of it, so you're not gonna go wrong with the thing. No, um, they did an outstanding job hell yeah nitpicky me there it is there we go.
Mouth:Cheers to Ghostfish Brewing Company.
Shiggs:Well done you did good, not dogfish, try that, nope, ghostfish. Ah yes, did the bourbon help it? That's got the bourbon in. It Needs a little more cocoa nut. But See, I think the bourbon helps it there. I mean, it definitely does, it definitely does.
Merlin:So we ended up two aficionados in a Stone Cold. So Stone Cold, stunner, yep All right, yep.
Mouth:So oh, that's turned it into something completely different, right?
Merlin:Correct, yeah, yeah, also good though Also good. Also good.
Mouth:It is good, actually, all right. Well, now on to the episode where we will be talking about Mr Chuck Norris. By the way, chuck Norris, his mom was so fat, she was on both sides of the family.
Shiggs:Oh, I would not, I don't know if I would say that to him.
Merlin:Fighting words. Yeah, those would be fighting words.
Mouth:That is something that you would say if you wanted to get your ass kicked by Chuck Norris. I was not saying that in realness, right, all right, so first, just like always in the Icon series, we talk about their catalogs first. So I figure the smartest thing to do is just kind of dig into the catalog and start with TV shows. Really, there's only really one, only one. He was been in a bunch of stuff like here and there, like one episode, here, a couple of cameos, but really it all boils down to one TV show and that would be the one Walker Texas Ranger from 1993 to 2001. Yeah, yeah, walker Texas Ranger, everybody knew this show.
Mouth:Yeah, when he played the character Cordell Walker, which was also the character that was in like millions of spinoffs Well, at least two of them, One in one episode and the other one I think it was in another episode as Cordell Walker Really weird and he plays the dedicated and skilled Texas Ranger with a black belt in martial arts. I love her strong moral compass.
Shiggs:And I will say shout out to Sean, because he is a big fan of Walker, texas Ranger, so much so that he was so excited when he got his ram charger. Oh yeah, if you remember the ram charger, the ram charger was badass, it was, it was badass, that was his, that was his baby. Yes, uh, and everybody loved it anytime he drove to somewhere. Yeah, everybody loved it. Sure, they don't love it because of walker, texas ranger, they just love it because it's a ram charger, right, true, and you're flying all over that thing too. Oh yeah, that thing was wild. Yeah, everybody loved it. Sure, they don't love it because of Walker Walker, texas Rangers, they just love it because it's a Ram charger, right, true, and you're flying all over that thing too.
Merlin:Oh yeah, that thing was wild, yeah, yeah.
Mouth:Yeah, yeah. So, uh, that character was known for a strong moral compass and unwavering commitment to justice. And, uh, as this martial artist and a Texas Ranger who battles crime in Dallas, texas. Along with his partner, james Trevette, he investigates and solves various criminal cases, often employing his martial arts skills to bring justice to the bad guys. And it was a lot of just cop action, sure.
Shiggs:It was a good show. It was a good show. It was a good show it was fun TV.
Merlin:It was good. Was it just me, or did that? On Trevette, did he not wear the biggest cowboy hat? That looked completely out of place.
Shiggs:Yeah, was he the native guy.
Merlin:No, no, that wasn't the native guy. No, no, no, that was a black guy, oh.
Shiggs:He's a skinny guy right yeah, by the book or whatever.
Mouth:And they gave him the biggest. He did have a big hat Hat right. Yeah, yeah, buy the book or whatever.
Merlin:And they gave him the biggest. You have a big hat, hat, it's like putting a 10 gallon hat on my head. Man, yeah right, and he has a small head. It is texas. He had a small head. It just looked completely out. It looked so out of place. It was goofy. Yeah right, it's like just give him a cooler hat man, don't, don't?
Shiggs:I mean, it was almost sombrero-esque, yeah, right, yeah, and it looked just give him like a nice, like sleek, like what stetson hat, or something, just a nice black fucking. Just yeah, badass hat, yeah, yeah.
Merlin:But this thing looks so out of place. Every time he's walking around like he's, you know, balancing it on his head like the bobblehead, I was like come on, guys yeah, yeah he had attitude when he was wearing it.
Mouth:Oh, hell, yeah, he was the guy with the attitude you kind of have to when you're wearing a hat like that. Sure, sure, sure.
Shiggs:I will say, though. One thing about Chuck Norris, though, is he doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Mouth:Yeah, I wouldn't believe that.
Shiggs:That's the thing about Chuck Norris.
Mouth:It's like osmosisizing by force. Yeah, by force. Yeah, that's why he's a legend. Yes, that's very true. Now, there, uh, there was a couple other shows that he was in, um, but I'm not going to delve into those cause it was really just one episode, two episode, and if you're talking about, like Chuck Norris being known for any TV anything other than a made for TV movie which I put on the movies list, uh, it's really just this show, that's it.
Merlin:Yeah, that or the Total Gym.
Mouth:Yes.
Merlin:Or infomercials, because you can still see those today.
Mouth:That is facts.
Merlin:I don't know how many billions he's made off of Total Gym, but it's been on forever, him and Christie Brinkley.
Mouth:I'm sure between that and a few of the other things he's in.
Merlin:If he made any money, which it did, the Total Gym's got to be raking in it. Oh yeah, I mean you would think.
Mouth:Especially since you don't really see Thighmasters anymore and you can still see the Total Gym. You can still buy the Total Gym, oh sure. So I'm sure that he's still making a gob of money.
Merlin:Oh, and a little posthumous memorandum Suzanne Summers passed away. Yeah, did you guys catch that? That memorandum suzanne summers passed away? Yeah, that's right. Oh yeah, poor chrissy from, uh, from three's company, company, right god. I always had such a crush on her anyway man, that's crazy.
Shiggs:Oh, dude, I love chrissy, I love three's company, one of my favorite shows of all time, but it was better when chrissy was on it. Yes, as opposed to cindy. Cindy right, although cindy was in her own right. Sure, not bad. And no one gives janet any love oh, I love janet.
Merlin:Janet was my favorite, yeah, but it was funnier when, when suzanne summers was on there, she just had that something.
Shiggs:Yeah, also the greatest sidekick of all time.
Mouth:Yeah, larry, larry, yeah oh yeah, yeah, that's a very true, especially type for leisure suit sidekicks.
Merlin:Those, those games were totally based on him, sure oh yeah, they're great games too, by the way yes, they are so where's this episode about Chuck Norris? Right, oh, that's right, there we go, all right, yeah all right.
Mouth:so, uh, next we'll move into his movies, because I mean he he did way more movies, uh, in the 70s and 80s obviously. Um, oh sure, that made him big. This is, I think I put together 10-ish movies and. I did kind of.
Shiggs:Oh yeah, kind of oh yeah. Yeah, we could do that.
Mouth:Yeah, we will do that here in just a second. Okay, cool. So yeah, these are movies. Just to kind of preface it, they're like probably the highest rated and most popular 10, I think for the most part, but in no specific, no particular order. No particular order, All right. All right, let's do this.
Merlin:Okay, top 10. Nice, all right. So I wasn't sure you guys were going to actually do that. See any notes that way. So sorry, jumping the gun there.
Mouth:No, no, you're the one that brought it up.
Mouth:We just on the fly, okay so the first movie that we'll talk about this is in no specific order obviously is Return of the Dragon from 1972. He played the character Colt, and Colt is a skilled martial artist hired by the mafia to take down Tang Lung, played by Bruce Lee. That's badass. What movie could you not see? Like two most epic dudes. Yeah, he engages in an epic fight with Tang Lung in the Coliseum in Rome. So the plot Tang Lung travels to Rome to help his relatives defend their restaurant from the mafia. Tang Lung and Colt engage in this legendary martial arts battle, showcasing their exceptional skills, which each, in real life, actually have.
Merlin:Sure, yeah, yeah, it was the Battle of the Titans there. He was ripped in that. They both were. Yes, they were, they were both huge in that movie. Huge, huge. Yep was ripped in that. They both were.
Shiggs:Yes, they were both huge in that movie, huge, huge yep, I'm not saying they're the biggest, but they were huge. You know, if you spell chuck norris and scrabble, you win forever nice that's epic, love it. These are just facts, that's right, just facts for, but for a long time.
Merlin:That was considered like the quintessential fight scene between those two titans and the setting it was in. Oh yeah, you know, and everything I mean. By today's standards, the movie quality itself is what it is because it's in the 70s, but the choreography of the fight scene itself is fantastic, mainly because you have two masters of martial arts going at it, right, yes, probably the two. Best ever, maybe, arguably.
Mouth:Yeah, well, definitely two of the best.
Merlin:Yes, you know right and so, and especially at this time, they were both at the top of their game and stuff. So to have an opportunity to see both in the same movie going at it and they probably choreographed the same deal because they really knew what they were doing, as opposed to like a Schwarzenegger or a Stallone. That was an actor first, right, and then they get the fight choreographed into them. These guys were fighters first. Yep, that actually had some acting chops.
Mouth:Yep, so they knew what they were doing. If they actually hit each other.
Merlin:It wasn't that big a deal.
Mouth:They already had it built in.
Shiggs:Plus, you know, bruce had to aim for the face all the time because Chuck had so much hair on his torso. He wasn't doing any damage there, he was a hairy beast.
Merlin:He slipped right off of it.
Mouth:And then pull a Merlin.
Merlin:My secret weapon. What are you talking about, bitches? I put a secret weapon. What are you talking about?
Mouth:yeah, I put the elusive and talented but elusive, that's true, you do put it.
Shiggs:That's my secret power. Plus, it also helped that chuck norris breathes air five times a day. Yeah, that's true, helps his shirt fighting yeah, style right.
Mouth:He can just not breathe in between, yeah yeah, he only breathes five times a day. Oh my God, my tits are on fire over here.
Shiggs:Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
Merlin:Hey, Chuck will do that to you.
Shiggs:I know I did not see that one coming. Chuck will do that, holy shit. I mean, I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room at the same time. You know what?
Merlin:I mean this is true, yeah, well, thanks the fan. Not everybody can be like Chuck Norris, that's right. The fan boards have gone crazy with that, yeah, with that fan fiction. If they will Talk about me being a Wonder Woman, yeah.
Shiggs:Your invisible jet. Yeah, I mean it didn't come in handy when I flew off my motorcycle, but I guess I didn't hit the bracelet quick enough.
Merlin:That's probably the problem, right there, huh, oh boy, some magic bracelets aren't worth shit.
Mouth:I need to get you a lasso of truth.
Shiggs:Help you out a little. Yes, sir, it's funny because I do know that in the beginning there was nothing, but then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Mouth:Oh, that's true.
Shiggs:And then there was stuff, a whole bunch of stuff and there was lots of things, and there was lots of things.
Merlin:Including the second movie. That good old.
Mouth:Chuck is known for, and that would be the one. Code of. Silence from 1985. Oh, I love Code of Silence. Yeah, he played the character Eddie Cusack, who is a courageous and skilled police officer known for his marksmanship. And what else?
Merlin:martial arts abilities, of course, sure.
Mouth:He is determined to maintain order and protect the innocent. Like always, and even in the face of corruption within his own department obvious he always plays the character of high moral yeah, he's like the original steven seagal, but way cooler, true?
Shiggs:yeah?
Merlin:that's true. Accomplish, yeah, and now, not fat yeah, true, true yeah.
Shiggs:I didn't tell you that I as well have a top 10, by the way that we'll get to later, fan 10. Nice, the fans get two top 10s in one episode. What that's awesome.
Merlin:Lucky you Look at that, that's good stuff. I remember growing up during the VCR age and everybody's going crazy off these video rental stores and shit like that, and so you come home with stacks of videos, if, if you were good that week on a Friday I don't know if you guys, but we they're like oh, video games for me Mostly Okay Once they started doing video games.
Shiggs:But yeah sure, yeah Right.
Merlin:Movies and stuff. So if we were good that week and got all of our chores done, everything was on, Because I knew this was a good week and mom's like, all right, let's go. And the video store was Video Spotlight down on South Hill. Remember that place.
Merlin:Yes, now it turned into Pier 1 recently. Yeah, yeah, nothing but Video Spotlight. We'd always go to the Video Spotlight and run down the aisles like an idiot. Look at all the movies right, oh of course, I don't know how many times I rented code of silence, but I always got a Chuck Norris movie. Yeah, um, either that or an American Ninja movie, michael Dudikoff Michael Dudikoff, yes, I love. I love Michael Dudikoff Um his movies.
Merlin:But I always ended up with at least one Chuck Norris movie and code of silence was usually it, because I love that movie so much, movie so much. We should have just bought the movie.
Shiggs:But yeah, yeah, I've seen it, I don't know 30 times probably easily, I uh. Well, since we're going down, it was so good. And mouth gloves when we go off topic. No, no, this I mean you're.
Mouth:You're going back to nostalgia land with chuck norris. Who can stop you?
Shiggs:uh, I don't remember the first vhs movie we I do know that when we bought our VCR we had to go downtown Puyallup, which it's not that far, but it's Back then. It's a drive right Back then, especially when everything was only two lanes Right. I don't, but I do remember once Home Video Express up on South which is now, I think, the Krav Maga or something like that.
Shiggs:Yes, Every weekend I feel like we went there to rent movies, and I think Stand by Me was probably one of the ones I got the most oh yeah, but then they started having video games. Yeah, but I do remember, like me and my dad were going somewhere, then we had to stop at Home Video Express. I was like, oh, what are we doing?
Merlin:He's like oh, I just got to return a movie. I was like, oh, what'd you get? He grabbed it from behind the seat of his truck. He's like you can't watch it.
Shiggs:I was like, okay, all right, all right, all right, mom, and I got a little something from behind the curtain right yes, they had their own special little section there, one of the few places that still are that actually did rent those, uh, adult movies, if you will right video spotlight did not have that section? They did not, uh, neither did hollywood video. No well, they're corporate when I worked there.
Shiggs:Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I movie and fire starter, speaking of chuck norris, also one of the ones. Yeah, I rented no fire, constantly fire walker Walker yeah, fire started with Drew Barrymore yes. Fire Walker with Lou Gossett Jr yeah, great movie. I rented the shit out of that movie.
Merlin:Second, maybe third favorite Chuck Norris movie. It's my favorite Chuck. Norris movie yeah, because he didn't take himself seriously. He almost parodied himself in that movie.
Shiggs:Yeah, it was actually comedy the whole way through.
Merlin:Like he couldn't shoot or shit, he couldn't shoot yeah. He wasn't intuitive as to the danger and stuff, so he kept getting yeah, yeah, but that was a great one because it showed it was kind of like he didn't. He got the joke, yeah, the whole. And too many people like Steven Seagal took themselves take themselves way too seriously and it's like, come on, I mean seriously, yeah, your movies are a little over the top. Yeah, and you got to see the levity in that.
Shiggs:Well, since we're talking about it, what's your favorite Chuck?
Mouth:Norris movie Miles I don't know if I have just one, to be honest.
Shiggs:I mean he's got a lot of great ones he does. He's got a lot of great ones.
Merlin:First Missing in Action was pretty good. I was more privy to Braddock.
Shiggs:Braddock was good. That was what Missing in Action 2 or 3? 3.
Merlin:3? 3. Yeah, I was a big fan when it came out of Invasion USA. Invasion USA when he had the dueling Uzis and shit. That was cool.
Shiggs:Every cover of all his movies has him with dual wielding some kind of gun.
Merlin:He's got a bandolier or whatever Code of Silence, he just had the shotgun. Oh well, there you go. I remember that one and I thought that was spectacular.
Mouth:Just for everybody, the plotline to Code of Silence, since we didn't cover that. So his character, cusack, becomes embroiled in a conflict between rival drug gangs. Despite the corruption with the police force, he uses his skills and determination to maintain law and order, facing off against criminals and corrupt cops alike. So yeah, typical Chuck Norris, typical Chuck Norris. And this next movie is Did you cover his?
Shiggs:age it's. So, yeah, typical Chuck Norris. Typical Chuck Norris, and this next movie is it's not a. Do you know how old he is? Oh, he's got to be in his late 70s, late 70s.
Merlin:What do you think I got it here? I would not guess this. I was surprised.
Shiggs:I'm going to say 78. 78.
Mouth:78. I will say 78 over here. Oh close, 83. Oh damn.
Merlin:March 10th 1940.
Shiggs:Damn does not look a day over probably 65.
Merlin:Maybe, yeah, yeah, he looks super young If. I look that good at 55.
Shiggs:Let's be honest, if you look that good at 50.
Merlin:Yeah, well, I look that good now, so I'm almost there, yeah, touche 150.
Artificial Intelligence:Yeah, Well it looked that good now, so I'm almost there.
Shiggs:Yeah, touché, that's a fair point.
Merlin:Touché, he's 80 fucking three years old man. Jesus Christ dude, wow, and him and his wife have been together since 1998. That's a long fucking time. That is a long time. Yeah, that is a long time, a long fucking time. So good for you holding that together, yeah.
Shiggs:I mean, at that point you might as well just keep going. Just keep going, that's right.
Merlin:I get it, but two huge kudos there yeah.
Mouth:Hell, yeah, yeah, wow, very much. So this next movie, I would say it's one, one of my favorite movies that has Chuck Norris in it. It's not necessarily purely a Chuck Norris movie If you say sidekicks, we're ending this podcast right now. No, it's actually, uh, the Expendables 2 from 2012.
Shiggs:Oh, there you go, there you go when he plays.
Mouth:Booker Uh, and Booker is a skilled mercenary and member of the Expendables team. He fights alongside other veteran mercenaries, bringing his combat expertise to the group. I'm sure most people probably remember this is not too far off. I mean 11 years now, but geez how brilliant.
Shiggs:By the way, I don't know if it was a stallone that started the whole expendables. Yeah, yeah yeah, how brilliant is stallone to bring all the action stars from the 80s and 90s into one movie everybody and they're all fun as shit and you know it had to have started.
Merlin:Much like a lot of ideas. We have Sitting around drinking beers with your boys going. Wouldn't it be awesome Whatever happened to this guy? Why don't we see more with this guy? Dolph Lundgren, jason Statham.
Shiggs:Van Damme, he's got.
Mouth:Jean-Claude in there, just bring everybody in.
Shiggs:Ronda Rousey. Even though she's not an action star, but it's still Ronda Rousey.
Merlin:She is an action star, just not movie wise. George.
Mouth:St Pierre is a bad guy in there.
Shiggs:St Pierre Brings in some MMA fighters. There's a new one coming out by the way, if you guys didn't know that already.
Merlin:All they need is Gina Carano.
Mouth:I haven't seen them give her any love, but she's a legitimate badass.
Merlin:Fucking Gina.
Shiggs:She was kicking ass before women were kicking ass when she was crush on American Gladiators. Yeah.
Merlin:Or when she was fighting MMA and just beating the shit out of people. Anyway, it's a great concept. He's a genius.
Mouth:And his role in that movie is.
Merlin:Where's Michael Dudikoff? Come on, is he alone?
Mouth:Just because he gives you some of that like weird 80s kind of dry humor and oh, yeah, it's, it's in some of my my, my, not, uh, not funny facts but like fun facts facts, yeah, um, where it talks about how he is with like the humor that he has I feel like that.
Shiggs:He definitely plays it. That's really his humor, probably. You know what I mean? Yeah, when Chuck's being his like dry humor, I feel like that's really him. Yep, I think so For sure.
Mouth:Yeah, and we won't cover the plot. I mean, if you don't, if you don't know the Expendables by now, then that's like your problem. Yeah, then go watch it, because it's still. It still holds up, it's only 11 years old.
Merlin:Yeah, the next movie that we'll talk about TBS or TNT sometime this weekend it's always on.
Mouth:I'm sure it's constantly on it's constantly on something.
Shiggs:You know what's funny, though, before you get to the next one? Sure, you know if Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they fought they both?
Merlin:would win. Well, braid my ball hair and call me Sally.
Mouth:Broke him. Oh God, nice, and we move on Bang.
Shiggs:Oh. I did not see that one coming.
Mouth:My glasses are fogging up oh my god that was perfect timing. By the way, I was waiting to see when you were going to do that one.
Merlin:I saw it, I was leaning into it and I was like, yep, here it comes.
Mouth:I spoiled one for all of you. Well, really, it was Shigzet spoiled one for all of you out there so anyone playing the game at home, you know one of them at least. Okay, so the next movie that we'll cover is Silent Rage from 1982, where he plays Sheriff Dan Stevens. He plays a lot of cops, by the way.
Merlin:Usually. If you haven't figured this out, yeah, he's always the good guy.
Mouth:So, this sheriff small-town lawman faced with an unstoppable genetically enhanced killer. This time he must use his wit and combat skills to stop the murderous rampage. And the plot Mentally Unstable man is turned into an unstoppable killing machine through a scientific experiment. So we got a little bit more sci-fi-ish kind of stuff to it. What movie is this? Silent Rage?
Shiggs:I don't think I've ever seen this. No, I don't think so. How have you not seen this? I don't think I've ever seen this. No, I don't think so. Have you not seen this? I don't know. There you go. What year was this?
Mouth:from 1982.
Merlin:Oh, early 80s, Go and Tubi it tonight. Yeah, okay, because everything's on Tubi. Yeah, oh yeah, that's facts, literally everything.
Mouth:And basically the dude goes on a violent spree and the sheriff's got to stop him. I mean leads to a confrontation that tests his abilities to the limit. Supposedly Ooh, ooh, must be a badass killer.
Shiggs:You know? Fun fact? Oh, by the way, yes, there's lots of them. Yes, you know, the dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way. Once you know what happened to them, yep.
Mouth:Just saying Chuck norris must shoot fireballs out of his eyes, I'm sure. Oh shit, all right. So the the next one's actually a made for tv movie, but it is a movie nonetheless, so I put it on the list. It is walker texas ranger trial by fire from 2005.
Shiggs:Oh, it's the movie based off of the tv show, because every great tv show has a movie made about it at some point.
Mouth:It seems like it. Yeah, and he plays Cordell Walker just like he did in the TV show, and really it's just about the plot line. So the plot line basically turns it into him having to investigate a murder and uncovers a human trafficking ring and the murder is of a fellow ranger. And then he discovers a human trafficking operation and with the help of his old team from the TV show, he takes on the criminals and displays his trademark martial arts prowess.
Shiggs:Sure, in the process of it all, Yep, you know one thing, though, and this is fact. Fact, by the way, that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Oh, but the unfortunate part is he's never cried.
Mouth:That's right that's why everybody still has cancer.
Merlin:That'll explain it yeah, alright, yeah, it's a bummer, that is a bummer, it's a bummer, you got over there.
Mouth:So the next movie on the list is another somewhat early 80s movie, but I think a lot of people know him from the this movie. That would be the one lone wolf mcquade from 1983, the ram charge, lone wolf.
Mouth:Yep, this is the ram charger, so he plays jj mcquade. Obviously he's a rugged and independent Texas Ranger. Yep, yep, again, with exceptional martial arts skills, as always. And he faces off against a drug kingpin and his gang, using his unique tactics to bring them down. And he teams up with an FBI agent in this one to take down the drug kingpin, and yeah. So more martial arts.
Shiggs:Roundhouse for everyone. Roundhouses For everybody Around.
Merlin:All around, yes, round to roundhouses. Yep, one of my favorites and you might talk about this one coming up is the Octagon. You ever see that one? That one's kind of a throwback movie to China cinema you know those old, they're not on my list to china's cinema. You know those old uh, they're not on my list martial arts movies where he just fights an ungodly amount of ninjas just one after the other as oh yeah, this, uh I think I've watched that on tv.
Mouth:It's literally a couple years.
Merlin:But uh, it's this maze, right to get to whatever and stuff, but it's just the. It's just a throwback kind of movie I always felt, in that you have the hero and he just fights all the bad guys one at a time, just whoever comes at him. Right, just an unrelentless amount of bad guys coming at him, yeah, and he just never gets tired. You know that old myth that plays out in movies, where the hero never gets tired, he has an endless stream of energy where we would be like I'm tapping out, I'm good, you know.
Merlin:I got those guys Somebody else you know?
Mouth:I don't need to make it to the end of this maze, right it's?
Merlin:like what do you want me to do, man? There's so many guys, there are so many guys. Hey, so many guys, there are so many guys. Hey, somebody dropped some lunch into me, right? So it's like so, that was, that was a fun one, just because it was a throwback to an homage, if you will.
Mouth:Yeah, homage to the kung fu movies.
Merlin:That's one that comes to mind that I really I think I rented that one more than more than I should have you Speaking of his roundhouse, which is legendary.
Shiggs:Obviously, if you ask him what time it is, he always says two seconds till. And after you ask two seconds to what he roundhouse, kicks you in the face. That's right. So don't ever ask Chuck Norris what time it is, that's right, oh okay, two seconds to roundhouse. Okay.
Mouth:Two seconds to roundhouse.
Mouth:All right. So the next movie is the President's man from 2000. This is a later movie that he did. He plays the character Josh McCord. He's a former Secret Service agent, so he changed it up a little bit from the Texas Ranger world and he's called back into action by the president. He's a skilled operative employing his intelligence and combat abilities to protect the president in the country. Yeah, well, okay, so a little bit of the olympus fallen kind of feel here. Yeah and uh. So he's tasked with rescuing the kidnapped daughter of the president and he delves into the dangerous world of international terrorism. He must use his expertise to outsmart the terrorists and bring the young woman back safely.
Merlin:Oh, of course.
Mouth:Yeah, hell yeah.
Merlin:I'm not sure I've seen this one.
Mouth:I don't know if I have either. To be honest, what's it called? Again, the President's man? Oh yeah, definitely never seen it From 2000.
Merlin:Yeah, wow, no, got to see that, all right.
Mouth:Which is it's crazy, because I gathered this list from multiple different sources to put like the most popular and highest rated, and I'm surprised that there's some movies on here that I've never seen, Like the next one. I was kind of like what the heck? It's the President's man, A Line in the Sand. So the sequel.
Shiggs:Oh, it had a sequel even 2002.
Mouth:Wow, how have we?
Merlin:not heard of this.
Mouth:So in this one, he continues his role as Joshua McCord, the dedicated Secret Service agent, and he's assigned to stop a group of terrorists who plan to detonate a nuclear bomb on American soil. Oh, no, no More. Olympus fallen. With the clock ticking Right, he must use his intelligence and combat skills to prevent the catastrophic event.
Merlin:Although I think in that one his nipples were shaped like candy corn. Oh, so they threw a little twist in there, right, a little something, a little extra.
Shiggs:Yeah.
Merlin:Okay, you see it through the shirt, yeah, and then at the end it's like Takes the shirt off, bam Candy corn Wow, candy corn nips.
Mouth:Yeah, yeah, turkey's done.
Shiggs:You know what I'm saying.
Mouth:Hey, you know, I mean, when it's cold, it's cold.
Merlin:Well, I think it was released around Thanksgiving, so yeah probably Makes sense.
Shiggs:Yeah, a little Easter egg in there, if you will, right? You know, a little known fact about Chuck Norris is that he appeared in the Street Fighter 2 video game. Oh, but he was removed by the beta testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. And when asked about this glitch, chuck simply replied that's no glitch.
Mouth:That's right, and I bet you that glitch probably killed everybody it touched. Yeah, it was a one hit, kill it was a one hit, kill, yeah, that would have been badass. Son of a bitch, I would have been down for that. Yeah, so the next movie is from the mid-'80s. I'm sure you guys probably know this one because you've already kind of mentioned it. I have seen this one and I absolutely love this movie. That would be Missing in Action 2, the Beginning from 1985. Great movie.
Mouth:Great movie. He plays a character named James Braddock, who's a brave and determined war hero, skilled in combat and tactics. Who's a brave and determined war hero, skilled in combat and tactics, in this prequel to missing in action? He's captured during the vietnam war and he must find a way to survive in a brutal pow camp. So in the plot line he's a braddock. His character is a colonel and he's captured during the vietnam war and sent to this harsh pow camp and he faces brutal conditions and torture but maintains his resilience, leading to a daring escape attempt with fellow prisoners.
Merlin:Ooh Now, all right, this is a question I've had maybe forever, and you're the man that can answer it finally. Oh, okay, how many colonels actually are allowed to go into combat? I mean, it seems like at that level, they're in the rear with the gear calling the shots. Yeah, they're in the tent, they don't strike me. A colonel doesn't seem like the one who's front lines, behind the lines, putting himself in the position to get caught by POWs.
Mouth:Well, you figure, the colonel is usually in the command center, right, right, that's what I'm thinking. It can be in the middle of an enemy area or an area of operations where the enemy is all around them. Sure, in Vietnam, especially like command posts came under attack a whole lot. Well, sure, sure and overran even. Yeah, so I mean in the Vietnam War, it's more feasible that he could have been captured as a POW. In today's world, yeah, you're probably not going to find an 06 getting captured.
Merlin:Right, okay, yeah, so maybe that's more of a modern times kind of thing. Yeah, more removed from the action.
Mouth:Well, I mean, they're still in a command post, but with the way firepower and just the way that the battlefield and a war fight happens nowadays is not like that. It's not like you're like, okay, plop, let's just put it right here, and then we're right in the middle of a bad guy's country. You know where they're? Everywhere, including the Viet Cong, yeah.
Shiggs:I'm pretty sure. Back then, though, they were just like ain't nothing but a tang. You know what I mean. That's right.
Mouth:Ain't nothing but a tang you know what I mean.
Shiggs:That's right. Ain't nothing but a tang. At least that's what he said to them in the pow camp. Ain't nothing but a tang. Ain't nothing but a tang.
Mouth:That's right, yeah and uh. That brings you us to the last movie that I have for you, and then you guys can talk about anything that I missed off here, like Merle's did with the Octagon, before you get to it. Real quick, did you?
Shiggs:know, though, that since the year 1940, which was the year Chuck was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000% since 1940.
Merlin:This is an epidemic. I believe it. Have people looked into this, yeah.
Shiggs:Why would they you?
Merlin:don't look into roundhouse kicks. That's right.
Shiggs:You know what I'm saying, sure.
Mouth:Exactly. Shh All right, you can't even say that word. All right, so the last movie that I have for you is the one Forest Warrior from 1996. So a little bit all over the place. We've been from early 80s all the way through to the the mid aughts, yeah, really, uh. So he plays a character, john mckenna and john mckenna is an environmentalist and a protector of nature has anybody else noticed?
Shiggs:every character is a mick. Yes, make something seems like it. Yes, uh, he possesses like he's irish or scottish or something. Well, he does have red hair.
Merlin:I mean, yeah, maybe that's why Chances are good. Let's.
Mouth:Yeah, so his. Let me see if I can find out if he's His character, mckenna. He possesses a deep connection with the forest and its creatures, using his knowledge and resourcefulness to defend the environment. In the plot line, he helps a group of local children stand up against a greedy land developer who plans to destroy a forest to build a shopping mall. Of course, using his intimate knowledge of the forest and creative strategies, mckenna becomes the forest warrior and fights to preserve nature.
Merlin:Oh boy all right, yeah, so a little bit of a. I don't believe I've seen this and I will continue that.
Mouth:Yeah, the plot line doesn't sound too. Yeah, it sounds kind of off to me.
Shiggs:Sounds like a lifetime movie you would see on Earth Day.
Mouth:Right, you know what I mean? Yeah, and then spiced up with some Chuck Norris With some Chuck Norris, yeah. So that's all the movies that I that that's the catalog that I'll bring. I mean, there's a whole lot more, but there's just too much to cover during the amount of time of our podcast. So, uh, that was kind of the most popular and highest rated ones for the most part, yeah.
Shiggs:Yeah, and he's got so many more. Yeah, exactly so many more, so many more.
Mouth:And then if there's any other ones that you guys wanted to talk about, man, like, was there ones that weren't on the list, that bring you guys back to nostalgia land at all.
Shiggs:Yeah, I mean, that was weird.
Merlin:What the?
Mouth:hell, that was a little froggy right there.
Shiggs:It was a little froggy, what the hell. Yeah, I mean, he's got so many good ones, but they're also fairly cheesy, right.
Mouth:Yeah, I mean, he's got so many good ones, but they're also fairly cheesy, right. Yeah, I mean a little.
Shiggs:But I mean they're not quite, as I don't think he ever got the big budgets that Stallone or Arnold got for his action movies, so his were a little more on the B side of.
Mouth:I think he liked it that way.
Merlin:I think you're right, he has Irish and Cherokee roots. Oh well, there you go, that's his background, there you go.
Shiggs:So that's why, yeah, I mean I'm sure he didn't pick his names for the movies, but I mean, no, I'm sure.
Merlin:No, no, not at all yeah.
Shiggs:Yeah, I mean, god Missing in Action had how many sequels to it? Three, was there three or four? Well, I mean, I think technically there was what like seven or eight. Oh, that many, but they didn't all have Chuck in them. I don't think.
Mouth:Oh, okay, I was going to say I only remember like I thought, three with him in there.
Shiggs:Yeah, I think probably three with Chuck, but then he had, you know, know, he tried to get into like the family action movies, if you will, you know, with sidekicks, with Jonathan Brandis, I think was his name, right, the kid, yeah, yeah, which I mean he was in everything at that time, though, yeah yeah, I mean, it was what it was, it wasn't.
Shiggs:It wasn't a classic Chuck Norris movie, no, but I mean, fuck, entertaining enough to watch once, I guess, if you're a fan of chug norris, oh yeah, uh, you know what I mean. And then, of course, we go back to firewalker, which is classic. Yes, great, very underrated that that one is underrated.
Shiggs:I probably should have put that on this list, but yeah, I mean, it's got one of his lines that he says constantly in that movie and I to this day still say this shit all the time. And Merlin can contest to this at work especially. Well, that's gratitude for you. Yeah, every time he tries to help, he can't shoot he can't do anything.
Shiggs:But every time he tries to help and somebody gives him, she's like well, that's gratitude for you, he must say it at least 10 times in that movie. Yes, for me that's just. That's my favorite Chuck Norris movie, because it's just a fun movie. It's a fun, and you know I love action as much as the next guy does. Right, but when you throw comedy into it it just puts it a little bit higher on the totem pole. Sure For me.
Mouth:Yeah, sure, no, I agree, that was a great movie have you run down? We haven't run down all of his, uh, his uh, you know, but, uh, but you can throw that in when we get to that fun fact. How's that? Because it's, it's one of the uh, first two fun facts. So let's just, uh, get into the fun facts, just leave it up right there, though hold on.
Shiggs:Let's let's do my. Before we get into that, let's do my top 10 that I got. Oh, it's, it's quick. Okay, it'll be quick, let's do that, all right, and it and it doesn't tie into your fun facts at all.
Mouth:I was going to say, because I left room in one of these effects to pop culture for a whole list of things that I know you have, which you've been doing throughout the entire episode, actually.
Shiggs:And I've got a whole shit ton more, okay, good, oh, almost. Would you say a fuck ton more A fuck ton. If you want to bump, fuck ton more, a fuck ton. That is an actual unit of measure.
Mouth:But if this list doesn't deal with those, sure let's do it. It does not Alright. Well, we're bringing you a second.
Shiggs:Top Ten. Top Ten Number two Number two. Number two Deuce. So this Top Ten is what I love about Chuck Norris, so it is his my favorite movie quotes oh, oh yeah, from Chuck Norris, so it is his my favorite movie quotes oh, oh yeah, from Chuck Norris Love it, sure, yep. Okay, so Chuck Norris might be semi-retired from acting, but his martial arts skills wowed audiences on the silver screen before delivering roundhouse kicks on the hit action television series Walker, texas Ranger Sure, yes. During those years he delivered some memorable lines that have become ingrained in American culture. Facts Wow, there are so many. Here is the top 10. Okay, number 10 from the movie Delta Force. I actually liked that movie a lot. It was good. Lee Marvin.
Merlin:Yeah, the old guy, the motorcycle with the Uzis mounted, yes, yeah, where the light should be, yeah uh, this quote sleep tight, sucker.
Shiggs:these are just random quotes throughout the movies that are just fucking hilarious. Uh, so the next one is uh, from lone wolf mcquade, my kind of trouble doesn't take vacations. That is an epic quote. Yeah, great movie, david Carradine.
Merlin:Yeah, so these are shirts that we will be making Beers on me t-shirts Sure.
Shiggs:Yeah, yeah, we'll just fuck copyright, we'll just put Chuck's face on there in the quote. Yeah Well, we'll give him a little credit down there. Chuck Norris, sure, sure, chuck Norris. Quote. So the next one is from Missing in Action 2, the Beginning. You really didn't think I'd leave without making sure you were dead. Of course you have to see these movies to appreciate these quotes, but if you've seen them you're like oh yeah.
Merlin:Especially that one that sounds like a quote that could have easily been slipped into Big Trouble in Little China. Oh, of course, I mean, you could see that in that movie right.
Shiggs:Sure, now no one can take the place of the great kirk russell as jack burton, but I wouldn't mind seeing chuck norris play that role. You know what I mean. That's true like if we do a recasting of big trouble in little china. I think I might throw chuck norris in the role of jack but that wouldn't be so bad, that would not be bad would be hilarious. That would actually be pretty fucking epic, wouldn't it?
Shiggs:Now that we're thinking about it, oh yeah, chuck Norris as Jack Burton. Yeah, I could see that. I just don't know if he can deliver the lines like Kurt Russell does. I don't know, but he would deliver them in his own way. Yeah, usa, one of your faves, one of my faves. If you come back in, I'll hit you with so many rights, you'll be begging for a left. I mean, after this list, you're not going to realize that Chuck had so many one-liners.
Merlin:Oh yes, he had a ton. Well, it was the era of the one-liner. Every movie that came out action movie that came out the star had to have at least one, if not multiple, one-liners that like punctuated whatever was going on right, yeah, there's nothing like a one-liner, especially in an 80s movie, correct?
Shiggs:okay, this is from your uh movie. You just talked about the octagon. Oh yeah, if winning overshadows everything, why didn't you teach one of us to lose? You teach one of us to lose, all right, yeah, that's fair. So the movie poster for the Octagon says the ninja, unholy masters of terror. No one will admit they still exist. Only one man can stop them. Yes, oh yes, and he fights them all, and he fights them all.
Merlin:Fights them all. Multiple ninjas, because ninjas were a thing back then.
Shiggs:Yeah, right, yep, okay. So the next one from Forced Vengeance? Oh yes, which has that?
Mouth:must have been the sequel to Forced Warrior.
Shiggs:I don't think so. So the movie poster says a walking weapon that never misses? Yes, oh. And it looks like Chuck is dropping a macho man, randy Savage, a savage elbow from the top rope. Oh, dang Through like a plate of glass or something. Through glass, shattered glass around him. That's what it looks like. And then there's just him doing fucking flying kicks and round houses and shit at the bottom Right, and some of these movies are pretty horrible, yeah, when you rewatch them.
Merlin:At the time they were fine because action movies were what they were. But to rewatch them now, yeah, yeah, some don't hold up Painful.
Shiggs:This one, so this one's number five on the list, but it might be the greatest movie quote of all time. Here we go, oh, of all time. Ok, if I were a tree I'd hide in the forest. Okay, oh.
Merlin:God, yep, okay, I can see that If I was a tree, I'd hide in the forest. That's profound.
Shiggs:Right yeah, that's some Biff Tannen shit right there.
Merlin:For a manhole. I'd hide in the city. I'd hide in the city.
Shiggs:Okay, the next one. One number four from the hitman.
Merlin:If I were a, boot, I'd hide up your ass, yeah, yeah uh, so the tagline for the hitman?
Shiggs:he's so far undercover, he may never get back. I do remember that he did have a fucking sweet mullet, by the way, of course, it was very Jean-Claude Van Damme. Kickboxer, kickboxer, sure Mullet. Yes, if you will. Yeah, and his quote running from your fear is more painful than facing it. Yeah, I think he drove a Words of wisdom right there, sure.
Merlin:Daily affirmation. I think he drove a badass mid-late 80s Monte Carlo in that movie, oh, maybe with a sawed-off shotgun, and uh, I wasn't that creative of a car.
Mouth:Anyway, I did like my Monte Carlo it was black.
Merlin:Most.
Mouth:Monte Carlos are pretty solid. I had an 88. Monte Carlos are dope.
Merlin:You could get them. If you got the big engine, the special edition ones and stuff, then they were alright. They were kind of sleeper cars.
Mouth:Mine wasn't a sleeper, but it still had some juice. Mostly they were just too heavy for the power that they put on More juice than my Ford Focus. There you go.
Shiggs:The Monte Carlo in training day that Denzel has. Yes, see, that's classic.
Merlin:Monte right, but that's style over substance more than anything. Right, yeah, and you can get away with that. It's like it doesn't go very far, but it doesn't have to right, because it looks fucking cool.
Shiggs:Yeah, I'm going to give you the rest of that one, alright, because I like this spattin' that I got.
Merlin:Oh, you got a little spottin' for the Oktoberfest hangover that we've got in the fridge Spatenbrau from Munich, germany. Yes it's quite good, isn't it? I do like it, so shout out to my mom. My mom is wonderful and she goes to Costco.
Mouth:Yeah, and got this fabulous huge bag.
Merlin:She always tries to buy me something which I love, right, it's endearing, and she's always thinking about me, which is great. And so she comes over to the house, she goes I went to Costco, I picked you up something. It's like all right, fine, she's got two cases, full cases of German beers that Costco had on special for October fest coming up, yeah. And so one was a variety pack of these German beers and we had to what? Three of I don't know how many different beers in there. And then the other was the, of course, advent calendar that we're saving for Christmas time. But she brought 48 beers. So thanks, mom.
Shiggs:We're enjoying those. Thank you. Plus, I love your mom because she bought me flying lessons. Oh, and I took flying lessons recently and it didn't go very well. Oh, gravity won, let's well, oh, gravity won.
Merlin:Let's just say that Gravity did win. Let's just say that Gravity did win there. Yes, yeah, it didn't fly so well, not so well, no.
Shiggs:Not so well.
Mouth:Yeah, and that was the flying lesson starting with a motorcycle.
Merlin:Well, yeah.
Mouth:Yes, yes, good old Shiggs the Superman Sh. Yes, yes, good old Shiggs the Superman. Shiggs yes, yeah.
Shiggs:So by the time you hear this, we will have done a live or two, I'm sure, and I will talk about it. So hopefully you caught that live.
Merlin:But if you're a fan of the show, you know you're up to date, right, yeah, right, you know the deal, yeah.
Shiggs:Maybe I'll talk about it later, maybe next episode. Okay, moving on, yes, number three. This might be also in the top movie quotes of all time. I'm going to help your brew out here. Yeah, go for it. Go for it, and this is from Delta Force 2. Nice Operation Stranglehold oh.
Mouth:The Delta Force has had a bunch of good stuff in it.
Merlin:Did this one. Star Aaron, his brother, I don't know, okay, star, uh, aaron, his brother, I don't know.
Shiggs:Okay, his brother was in one, oh, and it was horrible, oh yeah, I don't know, uh, but the tagline three, tagline for uh, delta force two, operation stranglehold, america's maximum assault force, is back in action. Oh, and the quote from delta force two yes, most mountains have four sides. What, oh Jesus, hey, what? That's what he said.
Mouth:Okay, Most mountains are pyramids. Yeah, yeah.
Shiggs:Oh Jesus, what Most mountains have. Four sides, wow, okay. So number two from Braddockaddock, missing in action. Part three yes, uh, what's this tagline? He's fighting for everyone who can't fight back. Oh, and it seems like he's always got the same weapon, sure, everyone? Look at this. Yeah, I know the listeners can't see m16 with the grenade underneath?
Merlin:Yeah, of course. So.
Shiggs:Delta Force 2, right. Sure Exact same gun on Braddock Mission in Action 3.
Merlin:Oh, yeah of course, but the grenade is coming out at this point in time. It's not like he's aiming. He's just randomly shooting the grenade out the bottom there.
Shiggs:Yeah, he's just sitting there holding the gun and it's firing.
Mouth:And to answer your question there, merlin, mike Norris was in Delta Force 3, which did not have Chuck Norris, it just had Mike Norris as Greg Lasseter, the Delta Force point man.
Merlin:Okay, there we go. And it was not very good, it was in 1991. No, it was horrible. I remember watching it and regretting it.
Shiggs:Okay, so the quote from Braddock Missing in in action, part three I don't step on toes, I step on necks.
Mouth:Sure, yes, yeah, oh yeah, awesome yeah, uh, it's so bad.
Shiggs:Okay, so you're ready for number one here, okay, yes, this is from another one of your faves. Code of Silence yes, nice Favorite. Eddie Cusack's a good cop having a very bad day. Different gun yeah, every cover of him has a gun. Sure, he had a pistol, except for sidekicks, no.
Merlin:Oh, that was the shotgun one.
Shiggs:Yeah yeah, it's like a shotgun with an extended barrel and a pistol grip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's weird. So his quote when I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
Mouth:Hell yeah, that is a true Chuck Norris quote. All right, I can get along with that one Right, hell yeah.
Shiggs:When I want your opinion, I'll beat it at yeah, yeah, yep. So there's my top 10. Top 10. Love it.
Mouth:Number two yeah. Two top 10s and there were so many good quotes out of his movies, so I'm glad you did that. That's important to have that in there.
Shiggs:It's just got to show the cheesiness that is Chuck Norris. Sure yeah.
Merlin:But they were required back in the 80s. Clint Eastwood had them, stallone had them, arnold, of course, of course had them. Even Dudikoff had them. You had to say them. They were cheesy as shit.
Shiggs:They were just kind of almost the slogan of the movie, that's true, speaking of Dudikoff, which did the American Ninja One through, however many, yeah, you know who took over for him after Dudikoff to continue the American Ninja.
Merlin:God, what was that guy's name? He co-starred with him a lot in the first couple right.
Shiggs:He was the Swords and Knives guy. I know his first name. I'm just looking up his last name, okay uh, I don't.
Merlin:I don't remember his name and I should, and tomorrow morning or somewhere in the middle of the night I would come up screaming it, which would scare the hell out of chips, but she's used to it. Um fuck, what was his name? Frank, frank, frank, nope.
Shiggs:Nope, okay, oh boy, there's so many of them. Who are you seeing? Wow, oh my God, I'm seeing a lot. Hold on, there's yeah, no there's so many American. Ninja titles out there.
Merlin:There are, because there was a ton of them in that franchise and only the ones with Dudikoff are the ones worth your time.
Mouth:You talking about David Bradley, nope. I think that's who I'm thinking of, because he was why not? No, he's this dude right here, and he did play Joe Castle in American Ninja 5. The one you're thinking of is this dude, steve James. Yes, yes, that's who I'm thinking of.
Merlin:Steve James was a great martial artist and should have starred in a lot of his own movies, but he ended up playing second fiddle. So many times, but a lot of times, his martial arts in those movies stole the show.
Shiggs:What so? In typical Shiggs fashion, it was not the American Ninja movies.
Merlin:I was going to say you were thinking of a different series. David Bradley did take over for him. No, that's not the.
Shiggs:American Ninja movies.
Mouth:I was going to say you were thinking of a different series. David Bradley did take over for him. No, that's not what.
Shiggs:I was thinking. I was thinking this person took over the kickboxer from Van Damme. Oh Jesus.
Mouth:Oh fuck.
Merlin:Sure, that's okay.
Shiggs:But I always got him confused with American Ninja and the shit kickboxer movies.
Merlin:So I was right, a little bit right, that was David Bradley I kickboxer.
Mouth:So I was right a little bit right there with the that was david bradley I was thinking of right, no, you, you were thinking of, uh, the black guy who was james, yes, and he didn't take over for him, david bradley did. David bradley was his co-star in the later ones, okay, so he was his co-star in four and then, I think, three. And then stephen jackson, or whatever his was, was his co-star in one and two.
Merlin:Right, okay, yeah, all right. That was my favorite of those, steven James yeah.
Mouth:It was one and two. And then David Bradley uh, took over as a co-star, and then he took over anyway.
Shiggs:Yeah, see, I was thinking, uh, sasha Mitchell, okay. Yeah, okay, oh, okay, he took over the kickboxer.
Merlin:The kickboxer yes.
Shiggs:But he was in the TV show Step by Step Right. Because that always kind of blew my mind that he went from Step by Step playing this dumbass dude that lived in a van. Oh, he was a good-looking dude, yeah.
Merlin:Into this martial arts badass guy. Yeah, but he had legitimate chops, I think, as a martial artist of sorts. I'll tell you what, though he ended up in a lot of movies.
Mouth:When you watch his first one that he took over, he feels really awkward, sure, as a character taking over from Van Damme as anyone would, I think. And then it wasn't until like even halfway through the movie. You're like, okay, he's kind of a badass, but he's still kind of a weirdo Dork. He's kind of a dork still. Yeah, it wasn't towards the end of the movie that you're like, all right, I mean you're okay.
Merlin:His acting was a little bit robotic.
Mouth:Yeah, it did feel a little bit, a little clunky.
Merlin:And you're like, how does this guy flow as a kickboxer? Because kickboxing is very much about rhythm and flow and they're smooth and technique and everything. They just didn't have that Van Damme flair Right, and Van Damme, in his prime, was the best at pulling that off.
Mouth:Well, and just as an actor, he never played a dork. He didn't see dork in him. I mean there was a little bit of goofball in him, I guess, in love scenes and stuff where you're like, well, you're kind of cheesy now where they got him drunk and his master made him fight like that.
Merlin:Makeshift, a bar of guys. Yeah, when he's doing the little dance. And he's doing the dance in his tank top always, tank top always tank top.
Shiggs:Yeah, I just saw that on Tik TOK the other day, as a matter of fact, yeah, yeah. That was the best. Yeah, as a matter of fact, yeah, yeah, that was the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean that kind of let's be honest man, that shit makes my sphincter pucker. I mean that's true.
Mouth:Somebody drunk fighting like that, no Come on.
Shiggs:You're like come on, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Merlin:Last. Thing.
Shiggs:I want to do is get my ass kicked. Right the tank top. Misery about how hot it is in the tank top and tucked into his khakis, by the way.
Merlin:That's right, of course. Always, always cowboy boots and a belt. Nothing and a belt. Nothing pulls off badass as right khakis and cowboy.
Mouth:All right, so from van damme back on to uh, chuck norris.
Merlin:Yes, let's get on to the reason why van damme have had a career a lot of people.
Mouth:Yeah, that's true, had a career, right, it's true. Uh, he had a career, right, that's true.
Merlin:The cool thing about Chuck Norris was that he was the size of every man, right when Stallone and Schwarzenegger were the swollen bohemians right, that's true, and they're bigger than life, which was great to see on scene. They were superhero-esque because we didn't have Marvel or any of this shit.
Mouth:Well, well, we did, but those movies sucked yeah, um well, we didn't really have the good ones, really right, not mcu as it was anyway.
Merlin:So he was like the, every man's size, and so people could relate so much easier to him, yeah, and yeah, that's true, they could put themselves in that place so much easier, whereas when you saw Schwarzenegger on the on the screen, you're like, no, no, that's cartoonishly big. Yeah, I mean, nobody gets that size. And even though Stallone wasn't that tall, his size, his overall size was massive, ripped, yes, ripped, yeah. And these guys still ripped, yeah, and these guys still ripped, yeah, and their overall size was just so gigantic that their presence on screen, although awe-inspiring and ripped, but you could buy into it.
Mouth:Van dam ripped where van dam was like a thinner dude, but he was yeah he was all the hell.
Shiggs:He didn't have the sagging tits that stallone's got nowadays right but he's like 70 years old, true yeah. Yeah, still great for fucking 70 years old, oh yeah.
Merlin:And but you couldn't relate to that, you could just enjoy the movie as bigger than life. Yeah, you know Carl Weathers bigger than life, yeah, you know. But you would see a Chuck Norris and you're like I can relate to that guy, you know, with he's. He's my size, he's, his jokes were tongue in cheek and there's some levity there and you can really relate to his movies a little bit more as a normal person.
Mouth:Yep, yeah, yeah, I agree. All right, let's get on to some fun facts about and this is not like these are actual, real fun facts. I hope not.
Merlin:I hope not.
Mouth:Not funny facts. These aren't real fun facts or interesting facts, we should say so. Military service Chuck Norris served in the United States Air Force as an air policeman. Before pursuing his martial arts and acting career, he was stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea and later became a popular figure among the military community. He's also very big into military charities, of course. Yeah yeah, he's a big philanthropist.
Merlin:But we'll talk about that later. He's an all-American through and through. Yeah, you know he really loves this country and uses his popularity and his money for propagating that fact.
Mouth:Right Very much Everything he does.
Merlin:You've never heard of a scandal involving no, there is no.
Mouth:There is no scandal other than the fact that he ran house people to death Right, constantly, exactly. Yeah, but I'm OK with that. Me too, me too, I'm sure they deserved it.
Merlin:But you see so many stars that got into trouble. Stallone got into a little bit of trouble, schwarzenegger even got into a little trouble and we put these people on a pedestal and look up to them right, especially as kids growing up when we're watching these movies and stuff. And this guy had values and he stuck to them regardless.
Mouth:Yeah, even in his movies all his characters were like a very high moral and ethical character.
Merlin:He hardly ever cursed in any of his movies. Lots of other people cursed in the movies, but it wasn't him, yeah, you know, and he just held himself to a standard that he carried through not only his life but into the movies and into his career, where there's so much flexibility when you're making a movie, oh, it's just a movie, so we just did this. And he's like no, I'm not about that, right? No, yeah, so, uh, true Testament. I mean that that probably cost him some acting gigs the way he was. Maybe it would have had to have right.
Mouth:Uh, of triple A's anyway. So I mean now, were they cult followed and did they become big? Yeah, of course, but there wasn't a lot of triple A films there, sure. All right, so this is going to segue into your fun facts about his martial arts rankings. So pull that up there, merlin. I will just fill in, and this is the beginning, and then Merlin will bring you what he actually was, so a martial arts icon. Chuck Norris holds black belts, but Merlin will give you the exacts in multiple martial arts disciplines, Sure, including Tang Soo Doo I think that's how you say it or Tang Soo Do. Tang Soo Do, yeah, do.
Shiggs:Sorry, we're Americans, we're supposed to fuck that up.
Mouth:I had to say that both ways in order to see the correct one Taekwondo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Yes, he became a popular martial arts icon known for his exceptional skills and techniques.
Shiggs:Oh, he was a Gracie before Gracie. Huh, yeah, yeah, basically.
Merlin:Well, gracie'd go back a long ways, yeah, but yeah.
Mouth:Yeah, and I'll hand it over to you to give his martial arts rankings. That's tasty, isn't it? Yeah?
Merlin:What is that? That is well, I threw it over there. That's a highball. Oh, it's a seltzer thingy. Yeah, it's a seltzer. And bourbon, yeah, yeah, tasty. A little twist of lemon, a little bit Twist A little bit. Yeah, damn tasty, they'll sneak up on you though.
Shiggs:Yeah, I mean fuck dude Drinking that. I just feel my fanny and call me. He's called my keister Kool-Aid, oh yeah.
Merlin:Oh yeah, Later, for that I'll feel. Do we yell into your keister? Oh yeah.
Shiggs:Oh yeah.
Merlin:Oh yeah, I'm on, all right, I'm on board, all right.
Mouth:I'm on board and break through like the Kool-Aid man.
Merlin:Yeah, so his right. So he's an official badass right? Yes, he is Not like these paper badasses that just go through choreography and we see them on the thing. Yeah, this guy is a 10th degree black belt in the Chuck Norris system, chun Kuk Do. 10th degree black belt in American Tang Soo Do. Eighth-degree black belt in Taekwondo. Everybody knows Taekwondo. It's an Olympic sport. It's called Taekwondo, taekwondo, taekwondo. No, I think it's Taekwon.
Shiggs:Whatever. Yeah, it's Taekwondo, all right. Do you know how much I love listening to?
Merlin:your stuff Go in the way, mr Cinco Nuevo. All right, anyway, taekwondo.
Shiggs:Eighth degree black belt in Go ahead, keep going. Are you ready?
Merlin:Yeah, Are you ready? I'm going to. I want to keep going, all right, because there's more.
Mouth:Hold on, hold on. There's more we have to do this real quick. Oh, OK.
Merlin:Are you doing the AI pronunciation? Yes, we are.
Mouth:We're going to do the AI pronunciation? Okay, the first one is taekwondo.
Artificial Intelligence:I hear this one pronounced all sorts of different ways. It's taekwondo, taekwondo. It's really important that we pronounce the A correctly. It's really important that we pronounce the A correct. It's T and then it's Kwan Kwan. That's a difficult one, because it's got the K and the W, so it's T, kwan Twa, so it's not Do.
Mouth:Oh, not Do Twa Twa, so everybody was wrong.
Shiggs:Okay, hold on. First of all, I'm not listening to a Brit telling me how to say English words. First of all, I'm not listening to a Brit telling me how to say English words.
Mouth:She is not British. Yeah, you want to take a look?
Shiggs:She is not British, you're telling me she doesn't have a British accent.
Mouth:No, she does not. She does have a fairly British accent.
Shiggs:What Kind of what do you mean? You can't be serious, I can't be serious, you're telling me that wasn't a British accent.
Mouth:Never judge. Play that again. No, play that again. She's clearly Japanese. Well, she's Asian of some sort.
Shiggs:But that is in a Japanese. That's a British accent, okay.
Mouth:I don't know she's breaking it down beautifully. She is, she is indeed yeah, and everybody was wrong, yeah. We were all wrong so which is fitting.
Merlin:You were wrong. Yeah, yeah, we were all wrong. So, which is fitting. You were right on the tay, though, right, okay, good job. Take uh, oh, we're gonna need her for this one. Take one 12, we're gonna need her for this one. Oh, boy, uh, kayuka shin budokai. Oh, that's probably close.
Mouth:That sounds right, yeah eighth degree black belt that sounds right nice um.
Merlin:Fifth degree black belt in traditional karate. Third degree black belt in brazil. Third degree black belt in Brazilian jujitsu. So that's where the Gracies come in. Yeah, and a black belt in judo.
Shiggs:Chuck Norris is a bad motherfucker man, so that is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven different disciplines.
Merlin:Yeah, he is a black belt or multiple higher Yep, and plus he created his own. Yeah, yeah, you know, and just combined them all, but he called that after himself as a bad motherfucker. Yes, but he's a bad ass.
Mouth:Yeah, and that takes us into the good segue to the next one. He was a professional fighter, yes, before his acting career took off.
Merlin:That's where he got his chops.
Mouth:Yes, was his acting career took off. Chuck Norris was a successful professional martial artist. The successful and competed in numerous karate tournaments, earning multiple championships and accolades, including six world professional middleweight karate titles. In his professional karate career, norris had a record of 183 wins, 10 losses and two draws.
Merlin:Jesus Christ.
Mouth:Good Lord Jesus.
Merlin:Christ.
Mouth:Yeah, certified, real badass. Let's find out the name of those 10 guys.
Shiggs:Who are those 10 guys? Yeah, who are those 10 guys to beat Chuck Norris?
Mouth:Yeah, certified badass.
Merlin:Because those guys get a belt buckle of some sort. I don't know what it says.
Shiggs:Yeah, they need one though yeah, I beat Chuck Norris, I beat Chuck Norris, and then Brownhouse kicks them to the head and they're gone.
Merlin:Yeah.
Mouth:Yeah.
Merlin:Because they just did it once, right. It's like the guys who beat Tyson when he was an amateur yeah, I beat Tyson, yeah, but I mean, come on, yeah, true.
Shiggs:I feel the pitter patter of a pee pee matter when it comes to that. Oh geez, oh yeah.
Merlin:Whoa Gets the juices going, there Gets the juices going.
Mouth:Gets the juices going, and we already talked about it earlier. But Chuck Norris was a very big philanthropist. He founded the Kickstart Kids Program, a foundation aimed at teaching character development and life skills to young people through martial arts training. The program has positively impacted the lives of thousands of children. He also supports various military and other children's charities. Sure, yeah yeah, very big into charity. Yeah, yeah, a little known real fact is that Chuck Norris is an author and a columnist. Ooh, he is an accomplished author and columnist. He has written several books on martial arts, exercise, philosophy, politics because he's big into politics, believe it or not Christianity, western novels and a biography. His writings reflect his diverse interests and experience. One of his notable works is Against All Odds, my Story, which is a biography where he shares his life, journey and experiences. Also a good Phil Collins song.
Merlin:There you go. Yeah, we talked about it. It's a pretty good movie too. Remember that movie? You can't spell that 80s, I think I do actually. Yeah, we talked about it, it's a pretty good movie too.
Mouth:Remember that movie. You can't spell that 80s.
Shiggs:I think I do actually yeah, I mean, I know of it, I just don't know if I've seen it.
Mouth:I don't remember the plot lines and stuff that well, but I know I've seen it.
Artificial Intelligence:I just don't know if I've seen it more than once you should.
Mouth:All right, we also talked about it a little bit earlier. The self-deprecating humor yes, despite his tough guy image, chuck Norris has shown a great sense of humor about himself. He embraced the Chuck Norris facts phenomenon and even incorporated it into his public appearances, nice and advertisements displaying a lighthearted attitude towards his internet fame. He probably came up with half of these, yes, these that are out there floating in the world, he probably was just like thinking of oh yeah, I do this, sure, probably.
Shiggs:Yeah, I did see like an interview or a quote or something from him and he actually really enjoys them. Yes, he does. How could you not? Yeah, he's a big fan of them.
Mouth:Oh yeah, I would be.
Shiggs:Shoot, I would love it if people were writing that kind of stuff about me. I mean, if you want me and Merlin can write some shit about you, yeah, I mean, we can come up with some stuff if you really want. We can come up with some mouth lore, if you will.
Mouth:Oh mouth, lore Mouth lore yeah Sounds painful, doesn't it?
Shiggs:Eh sounds interesting.
Merlin:Yeah, it sounds like a thick volume leather bound book that has like one of those clasps Like a book of the dead kind of thing, yeah.
Shiggs:And it's kept in a cave somewhere.
Merlin:Right, and you have to complete a quest to get to it. Yeah, but you don't read from the book aloud, no, it speaks to you. You just take it in. Yeah, it's for you. And then you lock it up.
Shiggs:Put it back, seal it back in. Yeah, because it speaks to you and you have to reset all the booby traps on your way out. Yes, booby traps to get past. Yes, I like it, let's do it.
Mouth:Yeah, nice, let's do it all right, we're gonna have uh mouth isms coming up on future episodes. Mouth, lore, mouth, all right. Uh, the next one, uh, he, he is and everybody knows this, because I'm sure if you've stayed up late night at all you know this he's a health and fitness advocate.
Merlin:Everybody's seen this.
Mouth:He is a staunch advocate for health and fitness. He has released several workout videos and continues to promote a healthy lifestyle, emphasizing the importance of physical fitness and mental well-being, especially with the total gym. Total gym yes.
Merlin:I don't know how many drunken nights I've almost ordered one of these things yeah. I agree, you know I've been there. Yeah, exactly Right. You're drinking with your buddies late night. The bars are closed down or they kicked you out 200 bucks.
Mouth:That's not bad. And like I, can get ripped Sure.
Merlin:Look at that it's just a table that slides. Why?
Mouth:don't I get some metrics?
Shiggs:Fuck, yeah, I'm on board. Who was the lady that was with him on the infomercial?
Merlin:The former Miss Billy Joel.
Shiggs:Christy Brinkley. Yes, was it Christy Brinkley.
Merlin:It was Christy Brinkley All right, all right. Who still looks dreamy as fuck. Oh yeah, where's this fountain that? Her? Chuck Norris, john Stamos? Yeah, fucking God, there's millions of people that drink out of this fountain.
Mouth:Yeah, they just don't share it with the world.
Merlin:Yeah, Sophia Loren, but at some point you know you get sold, that they are like they're not going to believe it. You're 200. True, yeah, you get into that. Death becomes her stage. Right, right, you may, yeah. And so they can't let everybody continue on forever. They just kind of retire you off and you just don't speak of them again. But Rob Lowe is in that. Rob Lowe is not aged in decades, Correct? And so there is this fountain of youth in Hollywood, somewhere that these people Rob Lowe is in that Rob Lowe has not aged in decades.
Merlin:Correct. And so there is this fountain of youth in Hollywood, somewhere that these people drink from that allows them to stay the same age forever.
Mouth:Yeah, there's got to be.
Merlin:Yeah, jennifer Aniston, right, yep, yeah, she's 50 plus, still as hot as she was in her 30s. Yeah, 20s, it doesn't matter Anyway, true, anyway.
Shiggs:It must have been something after she got that nose done. It just stopped the aging process.
Merlin:Maybe, yeah, maybe but didn't help out Gray at all. Jennifer, yeah, I mean, she was still dreaming, but didn't hear much from her. No, yeah, I think she's got like designs, clothes or something. Who knows.
Mouth:All right, and so the last.
Shiggs:She's probably still yelling at Forrest, jesus Christ, forrest, forrest, what? Wow, she's probably still yelling at Ferris Ferris For calling in sick to work so he could go to a Cubs game.
Merlin:Talking about roundhouse kicks, he's probably still roundhouse. And Rooney, that pedophile, because, remember, we did a show on him. She gave him a swift kick. Yeah, remember how he fell from grace. Yeah, we did an episode on that. Remember that he got caught up in some shit. Oh God, what's his name? That's why we never saw him again. He was a great heel, jeffrey. That's why we never saw him again. He was a great heel, jeffrey. Something I don't know, we'll have to look it up. Anyway, that guy.
Merlin:We probably shouldn't even give him credit, even though he was great in Beetlejuice. He was great in Beetlejuice. He's perfect in Ferris Bueller. Yeah, brown House kid Ed Rooney, yes, but then decided to piss it all away because of his demons.
Mouth:Yes, anyway, yeah. So fuck him, yeah Right, all right so.
Merlin:Kevin Spacey Fuck him, yeah. The last Kevin Spacey before all that came out, though I feel so bad for loving him so much up to that point.
Shiggs:It's because you didn't know, buddy, it's because I didn't know yeah.
Mouth:Yeah, just go listen to the fall from grace episode and you can hear all of that.
Merlin:I'm call backing hard here. Anyway, go ahead.
Mouth:The last fun fact I will give you a true, real fun fact was the Texas Ranger honorary title in 2010. Chuck Norris was made an honorary Texas Ranger.
Shiggs:Of course he should, a title he held in the popular TV series Walker Texas Ranger.
Mouth:Of course he is, as he should, a title he held in the popular TV series Walker Texas Ranger. He was recognized for his contributions to law enforcement and his portrayal of a Texas Ranger on screen by being given the title.
Merlin:So pretty cool man For him promoting the Texas Rangers so much I mean, everybody holds them and the Rangers in such a higher regard because of that show.
Shiggs:That's very true. How fucking cool are Texas Rangers, by the way? They're cops that wear cowboy hats, yeah, and cowboy boots.
Merlin:Well, as far as baseball players fuck them. But I mean, oh, I agree.
Shiggs:Well, true, mr Merlin.
Merlin:Law enforcement officials, officials yeah, that's what I call them. That's what I call them. It's my bit, it's what I'm doing. Fair, god damn it. They're in Texas, I don't fucking care. Anyway, everybody holds them in such a higher regard. You know, if you're in Washington State and they're like we're calling in the Texas Rangers, you're like you're scared, all of a sudden.
Shiggs:Yeah, state, and they're like we're calling in the texas rangers you're like you're, you're scared, all of a sudden. Yeah right, they have no authority.
Merlin:This is washington fucking state. Oh shit, they're calling in the wolf right.
Artificial Intelligence:That's all you had to say, all of a sudden shakes his keister's fucker in a little bit, because it's the texas motherfucking rangers.
Merlin:Oh yeah, yeah. However, in baseball fuck those fucks. Agree, All right.
Shiggs:Agree, yeah, all right.
Mouth:Yeah, so we covered a lot of fun facts there. Next we'll roll on to the effects to pop culture. There's actually a number of effects to pop culture that Chuck Norris gave us.
Merlin:The cocktail at the end not so good yeah.
Shiggs:That was a little thick, that was getting thick down there.
Merlin:That's why I dumped it in the cup. I added some bourbon to cut it a little bit, and it was good, and then it wasn't, yeah, and so I just chugged the rest yeah.
Mouth:Yeah, fair. So the first would be the television legacy Walker. Texas Ranger. That tv series where norris portrayed this titular character, cordell walker a titular became a cultural phenomenon during its run from 93 to 2001, and the show's success contributed to the popularity of action-packed crime dramas on television, which you see everywhere now. Absolutely, it was the birth of NCIS, of CSI, yes, probably of every crime drama that's on nowadays, and you can still see episodes of Walker, texas Ranger. Of course, it's not even syndicated.
Shiggs:It's just out there. Samsung TV Plus might actually have a Walker Texas Ranger channel.
Mouth:Guaranteed. I don't know if it does, but it might, because it's got some strange ones. Yep, I was going to say it might have it.
Shiggs:If it does, I need to find it.
Merlin:My favorite episode and the one I was yelling at the TV screen because I was it was during the age where I was competitively shooting a lot right. And so, oh, no, sorry my microphone, I'm just turning it for you. Oh, you got a little excited there. No, it's just me, I'm all over the place. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh, am I speaking into your butthole? No, whoa, wow, wow, wow.
Shiggs:That's so direct, you said it earlier. A keister phone. Yeah, a Speak into my keister phone Just echoes Sure, echo, echo, echo, echo echo.
Merlin:Why is?
Shiggs:it moist, it smells like shit in here.
Merlin:It smells like shit in here. I remember the one walker oh, I almost got mouth, I got him. Oh, he's going, he's going, oh God. So the one episode of Walker, texas Ranger, that I remember most is in the height of my shooting stage. They were in the qualifiers, right. So they had to go through, like their Hogan's Alley kind of thing. A real life city was there with pop outs and everything they had to shoot, and he was late.
Merlin:So he pulls up in his truck which was a Dodge, of course, sure, and pulls in and dust everywhere and hops out, gets up to the line. They're like, oh, glad you made it, whatever they said. And so he puts on his safety glasses, right, and they hand him his ear protection, which is ppe, right for this thing. He's like, no, don't need him. He's shooting like a 44 revolver right, you need him, you need him. But like he was impervious to sound, damage to his ears, sure. And then goes through hogan's alley and shoots all this stuff, of course, perfectly, because he's Walker and everything. And I was like, come on, he's like, shuns the ear protection, like I don't need PPE, I'm fucking Chuck Norris, sure. And so at that time I felt that he was parodying himself. He was starting to write these Chuck Norris jokes. Because of that, he started it all.
Mouth:Yes, he probably did this is 100% his fault.
Merlin:Yeah, and he started it because he's like, no, don't need them. I'm like fuck you don't.
Shiggs:The fuck you don't. I mean, it makes sense because he can dribble a bowling ball, so yeah.
Mouth:Exactly, it does make sense.
Merlin:Anyway, that stuck with me through the end of time because in shooting, you need your ear protection, you need your eye protection, you need all this stuff you may not get it in combat or whatever, sure, but if you're in training and you're going through Hogan's Alley and you're doing this stuff, you 100% need this. Otherwise you're deaf and blind. Yep, at his age of 83, three, yeah, well, that makes sense why he?
Shiggs:it was hilarious, I was laughing, I was like fuck you yeah, I mean that makes sense why he's never blinked in his entire life. Yep, never yeah that makes it worse. Never that makes it worse, well anyway that's true.
Merlin:I'm just sharing a little bit of Merlin life, if you will. Merlin Moore, as I experienced. Merlin Moore. Walker, Texas Ranger and Chuck Norris himself.
Mouth:So true.
Merlin:But the second he shunned his ear protection like he was the cool guy. Yeah, I'm like deaf is not cool, right, true?
Shiggs:That's a good deaf guy, but you're still right. You're still chuck norris.
Merlin:So so he is still chuck norris, right? He doesn't need your protection, I guess all right.
Mouth:So the uh second effect of pop culture would be advertising and commercials. So chuck norris's popularity led to numerous advertising campaigns where his tough guy image was used to promote products and services. His presence in commercials reinforced his iconic status and introduced him to new generations of fans, which is true. Sure. New people started holding on.
Shiggs:Yeah.
Mouth:It's not till, probably the total gym. And, as of recent, if you asked a kid nowadays who Chuck Norris was, they probably only know the memes. They probably don't know anything else.
Shiggs:Yeah, yeah, and I'm sure I probably mentioned this on a past episode a long time ago One of the best things. You have no idea. But Mal, actually, he's heard of it, but he wasn't part of this. Back in the old World of Warcraft days the vanilla the old school there was an area of the map days like the vanilla the old school. Oh yeah, there was an area, I do not know. There's an area of the map called the Barrens which is exactly what it sounds like. It's just desert land, right, yeah, usually boring Barrens chat was some of the greatest shit in video game history and it was chock full of Chug Norris facts. Oh, it was some of the funnest time you could have just sitting there doing absolutely nothing, yep, just watching the chat, because it was just constant chug norris facts just for hours, nice for hours. And uh, that's probably what most people will remember baron's chat for if you were an old school wow player.
Merlin:Okay, yeah, so what effect on pop culture there? What? Oh yes, very much so oh yeah yeah, which?
Mouth:uh, it's here, but not specifically to, to, to baron's chat, but the general is down here a little lower in the list. Uh, the next one is actually in video games. Oh, uh, speaking of great segue there you. Chuck Norris' influence extended to the gaming industry. Several video games were inspired by his persona, featuring characters modeled after him and incorporating his martial arts skills into gameplay. These games allowed fans to experience the world of Chuck Norris in an interactive way. I know I didn't write down the names of the video games, but I could probably go find them if I needed to. But that's something interesting if you want to go look it up yourself. Yeah, yeah.
Shiggs:How can you not?
Merlin:Exactly Like how is Chuck Norris not a playable character? Yeah, and like Mortal Kombat, mortal Kombat, yeah.
Shiggs:Come on, Ed Boon. What's going on here, bro? You got fucking. I mean, bro, you got fucking I mean you got the uh, was it spawn?
Merlin:and you got like leather face and there's even been rumors of ash showing up in that maybe ash is in dead by daylight, but maybe I mean maybe one of those about putting me in, yeah, in mortal kombat maybe one of the mortal kombat characters is based off him, though yeah, they got schwarzenegger in.
Shiggs:uh, mortal kombat, they've got all kinds of pop culture people. Oh yeah, how do they not have Chuck Norris in there?
Mouth:True, true.
Shiggs:Right.
Mouth:The next one would be literature and comic books. Chuck Norris's image has been used in comic books and literature, creating fictional stories that capitalize on his action hero reputation. His character has been portrayed in various mediums, expanding his influence to different forms of entertainment. Action hero reputation his character has been portrayed in various mediums, expanding his influence to different forms of entertainment. So maybe some of those kids out there reading the comic books are dealing with a comic book that has Chuck Norris in it.
Merlin:Sure yeah.
Mouth:Yeah, they might not know him from anything else.
Shiggs:To be honest, he's one of those national treasures that kids of this generation need to know who Chuck Norris is. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. And that's one of the great things about TikTok is that old guys like us can put some shit about anybody from our era back in the 80s on TikTok and they'll become a thing again. That's true, you know what I mean, yeah, so maybe we need to start the chuck norris train, get that thing going on on sure talk and hell yeah why not bring chuck norris to the masses?
Mouth:bring some of the norris memes to life? Yeah, all right. So pop culture references. References to chuck norris frequently appear in contemporary media, including movies, tv, tv shows, video games. His name and persona are often used humorously to denote toughness or invincibility, becoming a part of everyday language, which it really has.
Merlin:I think he is invincible. Yeah, he's 83. Yeah, he can still kick all of our asses at the same time. Yeah.
Mouth:Yeah.
Merlin:That's going to be a sad day, yes, that is going to be a end of an era. Day of mourning yes, the flags are lowered half-mast and we get a day off work.
Mouth:Yeah, I agree, it needs to become a federal holiday, I think, yeah, uh. The next one would be the legacy of inspiration. Only got two more here, um, and one's gonna lead its way way into some stuff from Shiggs. So this next one, the legacy of inspiration. Chuck Norris's journey from martial arts to actor and philanthropist continues to inspire individuals worldwide. His work, ethic, discipline and commitment to making a positive difference have left a lasting legacy motivating others to follow in his footsteps, and I I completely agree with this because I think it drove. It drove actors and actresses into the amount of philanthropic efforts that they put together nowadays.
Merlin:There you go.
Mouth:I think that it was really a catalyst for those people to become activists out there in the world and to use their, their medium and influence in there yeah, out there in the world. And to use their medium Influence yeah, to influence, but to use their art and their medium to influence positivity in the world.
Merlin:I agree with that. Before you go on, try this.
Artificial Intelligence:IPA. Oh, I did. It's amazing. This is spectacular. It's a great IPA.
Merlin:This caught me off guard. Even Shiggs likes this and you don't like IPAs. This is the Bone Shaker IPA from North Jetty that I picked up. I didn't even know I had it in my fridge. I found it on my way here and I was like what is this? I forgot I bought it.
Shiggs:Don't you mean? You found it before you came here? I don't know how you'd find it on your way here, unless it was on the side of the road.
Merlin:Well, Chuck Norris taught me a thing. Oh oh touche, so well played. I'm not going to reveal my secret Anyhow. The Bone Shaker IPA. I had not had this before this day and I found a can. I threw it in the thing. We all just had some of it. I threw it in the thing. It's extremely good. That is surprisingly good.
Mouth:Oh my God, and North Jetty is out of Long Beach, Washington, Long Beach.
Merlin:Washington. Oh my God, this is really good.
Shiggs:It actually says Seaview, Washington. Well, there's. This.
Merlin:I've never even heard of Seaview, Washington Seaview is technically from just where North Jetty is, that's where Seaview begins to the gas station Right, just past that three-way intersection. Yeah, to I don't know somewhere down that road. Yeah, before you get to 11 Wacos. 11 Wacos, right, yeah, it's not, it's like a mile. Yeah, maybe.
Mouth:And so they're technically Seaview, but just north, like it's not really on the line with with Long Beach.
Merlin:Yeah, right, yeah, and so they throw that on there to keep it alive, because technically, there you go. But if you're ever in Long Beach, washington, go to North Jetty. Yeah, tell them we sent you, why not? Yeah, I'm not guaranteeing a discount, but you never know. Yeah, anyway, bone Shaker IPA. Oh, my God, they did good on this. Very good, it was very good. We'll get back to the show. Anyway, that just struck me. This is so good that I'm interrupting the show. This is so good that I'm interrupting the show. Hey, that works.
Mouth:It is very good. It is good. The last one that I have for you and this will segue into some stuff from Shiggs, I'm sure, Sure the internet meme culture.
Shiggs:Yes, sir.
Mouth:Huge. That's where the Barron's Chat Basically the Barron's Chat was the beginning of the meme culture for Chuck Norris. That was early before memes were a thing. Chuck Norris that was early before memes were a thing. Chuck Norris became the central figure of the Chuck Norris facts meme yes, a series of humorous and exaggerated statements about his strength and toughness. This internet phenomenon spread rapidly, creating a new form of online humor and establishing Norris as a pop culture legend. It also marked one of the earliest instances of a celebrity embracing an internet meme, leading to increased recognition online. And it still goes on today, absolutely.
Shiggs:It does and I like to, before you get in here, I like to consider myself a pioneer, if you will, of the Chuck Norris facts. All right, like Oregon Trail pioneer, dysentery pioneer, oh, if you will, of the Chuck Norris facts.
Merlin:All right, like Oregon Trail pioneer Dysentery.
Shiggs:No, oh, okay, but I've been on board with these facts since the beginning. Yep, yeah, I've known you guys for a long time. Yeah, and you especially know, yes, that I've been down with the Chuck Norris facts, sure, since Barron's chat, even before that, because that's what drove me to the Barron's chat so much when I was addicted to this game.
Shiggs:I spent a lot of time in Barron's chat, specifically for the Chuck Norris memes. I mean even my wife, my wife Shout out, dung benson got me a calendar, or not a calendar, but those, uh, you know, the daily quotes and shit I mean it is a calendar, but it's like you get a quarter day.
Shiggs:A quarter day, yeah of just chuck norris facts. Okay, sure, and this was a decade ago, sure, yeah, absolutely. So I've been. I've been down with these since the beginning, right, right, and I still love them to this day. They never get old, they never get old.
Merlin:I mean, something new comes up. Chuck Norris did it. Yeah, Right, yeah, never gets old. No, I was just going to throw in there one of his disciples or one of his. Is he a cult leader? Well, maybe, oh, kind of Kind of, yeah, I joined that cult. One of the guys who trained early with him and often and propagated his brand of martial arts is one Randy Travis Country music superstar Randy Travis.
Merlin:Country music superstar Randy Travis. Country music superstar Randy Travis. Him and Chuck Norris are super good friends and have trained since Randy, before Randy really got famous. I'm not sure how they hooked up or got together or anything in Hawaii, because he owns a horse ranch in Hawaii or something I mean. Randy is not doing much nowadays but he doesn't need to because he's fucking rich. Yeah, but he is.
Shiggs:But he's, he's.
Merlin:he's got some health issues Well, I'm sure, because he's old as hell, but anyway. And he had because he's old as hell, but anyway.
Mouth:And he had a stroke.
Merlin:Yeah, yes. So I mean, sure, current times aside, but still him and Chuck Norris Probably still great friends, probably still good friends, but so much so that Randy Travis showed up in a lot of movies as a bit part as a martial arts badass here and there and stuff, movies as a bit part as a martial arts badass here and there and stuff. So if you research Randy Travis movies, find these movies directly related to Chuck Norris To be friends with a badass.
Shiggs:Wouldn't that be awesome.
Merlin:How cool would that be? That floored me because I did not make that connection. I would not have thought that connection anyway. Not at all. It was back on the early days of country CM CMT, back when it was starting up and everything they had, uh, uh, these interviews and stuff that they would do and everything. So Randy Travis was on there back in the day talking about how much him and Chuck Norris were intertwined and, uh, did their workouts and stuff and it was like I would not have thought that.
Shiggs:Nope, and I would do the exact same thing, wouldn't you yeah?
Merlin:Wouldn't you Fuck, yeah, if you had the opportunity? Yep, yeah, I'm all in Yep, yep, totally. So I did not think that Interesting fact, as I tend I mean I don't, I don't, that was 40 years ago. I heard that.
Shiggs:Yeah, I mean, you throw out weird random facts. Yeah, that's what we love.
Merlin:I don't know, anyway, randy Travis, true, randy Travis Badass, oh yeah, he'll roundhouse kick you.
Shiggs:He learned from the best.
Merlin:Yeah, he learned from the best. Maybe we can start some Randy Travis facts. Oh, there you go. You know intertwine them with Chuck. Yeah, although Chuck will live longer because he's Chuck Norris. Yeah, because Chuck Norris will never die Right now Immortal, immortal, although I'm taking a day off work. When he finally passes, randy or Chuck Both.
Shiggs:Yeah.
Merlin:Yeah, yeah who. Greatest country music singer of all time, maybe Arguably?
Shiggs:Top five. I mean, he's a legend for sure, legend for sure, legend for sure.
Merlin:Karate extraordinaire.
Shiggs:Sure.
Merlin:Lined with Chuck Norris. Yeah, so when he passes, I'll take a day off. I'll take a day.
Shiggs:Yeah, I'll take one with you just to show how serious it is.
Merlin:Oh, there we go, there you go.
Shiggs:We can go roundhouse kick some fuckers in a bar. I don't know if you ever tried to do a roundhouse kick. I have, I have. I'm not going to lie. I'd like to see it.
Merlin:Okay, maybe we'll do it. I'm not sure I can do it now.
Shiggs:Maybe we'll do it on a live.
Merlin:But I have done it. That would be funny. So there you go, I'll tell you what we'll do a live, we'll do a live move.
Shiggs:If you can manage to roundhouse kick mouth and land it, I'll pound a beer mouth yeah no, I can't roundhouse kick mouth.
Merlin:He's in too good a shape, he's too.
Shiggs:He's too ready no, he's got to stand there and take it. That's the point. Oh, geez, I'll pound a beer. Oh, if you can't land it you gotta roundhouse me in the face yeah, yeah, you can't roundhouse kick his hip.
Mouth:I mean it's got to be in the face. No, it's still effective. No old man roundhouse.
Merlin:No, the outer thigh, just above the knee, most effective roundhouse.
Shiggs:No, you got to hit him in the face.
Mouth:No, there's a nerve right there. It doesn't matter. You got to Hit him in the face.
Shiggs:In fact, if you don't land it, you have to pound two beers, one for me and for Mal.
Merlin:There's a difference, because you kick him in the tit, because if you just leg kick, it comes from More in my hip. More in my leg and if you roundhouse.
Merlin:It comes from higher. More in my jewels and you get more hip into it. I'm going to wear a cup. Yeah, his roundhouse kick. All right, that was. That was many. I'll just buy a right man suit, I'm just saying. I'm just saying there was a day when I could do that. I don't have to worry about my head, I have to worry about everything else. Yeah, I realized early on. This is not my call, not for me?
Shiggs:no, yeah, not for me, yeah, but the thing is, I mean, I did all right, it doesn't matter if it was back in the day, chuck can still do it, so you should be able to still do it. No, if you can't do it, you pound a beer.
Merlin:Oh, so you're holding me To Chuck Norris level. I mean, yeah, I'm flattered, yeah, I am flattered, yeah, but you brought it up no Talking about how you could do A roundhouse kick.
Mouth:I said, I did, and you are the man of magic. What?
Shiggs:You are the man of magic. That's when it's going to happen. Either you're going to roundhouse, kick mouth in the face and we're all going to love it, except for, maybe, mouth, yeah, and then I'll have to pound a beer. Okay, or you're going to fail miserably, I'll need a shot.
Merlin:There won't be much behind it, because you'll be able to block it. It's coming.
Shiggs:Slow motion, yeah, there won't be much behind it. No, or you're pounding two beers because you kicked mouth in the tit and you lost a bet. To me, that's how it's going to go.
Merlin:Well, I can get behind that. Yeah, because I'll probably pound two beers anyway, sure, okay.
Shiggs:Sure, it's for good TV. Yeah, it's for the live.
Merlin:Okay, okay, all right, we'll do it, we'll do it Mouth.
Artificial Intelligence:no, I'm not gonna hurt you at all, there's no dangerous.
Shiggs:No, no, because that was a long time ago what we'll do is you'll take your shoes off so you don't hit them with the sole of your boot, which you're not gonna get. A worst case scenario scenario you clip them across the nose with a long toenail or something, with those Eagle's claws that you got, and you break the skin. I mean, that's worst case scenario. You know what I mean.
Merlin:Worst case scenario.
Shiggs:Yeah, I can't get that yeah because it doesn't matter how much force you got behind it. You got a long toenail. It's breaking skin. Sure, you know what I mean.
Merlin:The highest roundhouse kick I've done was today test riding adventure bikes, you know getting over the back end of those things. Yeah, that's true, that was about it, and I was like oh, I'm getting old yeah that's not going to work. Yes, Maybe I don't go for the 1200. 900's fine.
Shiggs:You have to hop from the back of the bike like you're getting up on a horse. Sure A little Rustler's Rhapsody, if you will Like your Arthur Morgan running up hopping on top of a horse there Anyway what else you got there, matthew?
Mouth:You got anything else, or are we getting on to the facts? We're creating a scenario where that was the segue into your fun facts, but you never got there.
Merlin:For some reason, you're involved in this scenario and you're not going to get hurt 100%.
Shiggs:No, I agree. That's why I didn't feel bad volunteering him yeah.
Merlin:It's quite all right Me roundhouse kicking you which I'm also in.
Shiggs:I'm still down.
Merlin:The height level alone. I'm in Okay, but Chris could kick my ass easy because he's still active military and does this normally, yeah, on a daily basis, yeah.
Shiggs:That's why it's more fun. Just in case you, just for you, just in case you ring his bell a little bit and he kind of loses it for a second. No chance.
Mouth:If you actually ring my bell, no chance. Then we are going to have a wet tortilla slap off.
Shiggs:Oh geez, oh, Tortilla slap off. Oh geez, oh Okay, oh, all right, more TikTok fun.
Merlin:Maybe I'll limber up just for the tortilla slap off, Because all right, that sounds fun.
Shiggs:Okay, so let's wrap this thing up by some fun Chuck Norris facts. All right, we don't have to talk about them, I'm just going to rapid fire through them and we'll get through a bunch, because there's some fucking doozies. There are some doozies, want some more of this? Yeah, you do, okay. Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger just by yelling bang. Oh yeah, I could see that Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, oxford will change the spelling.
Shiggs:That's facts he owns oxford, yeah so some kids, some kids will pee their name into the snow. Chuck norris can pee his name into concrete.
Merlin:Yep oh you know, I think I've come across that cost us some resto and it hardens his rebar there.
Mouth:Yeah, powerful p.
Merlin:And it hardens his rebar. Yeah, powerful P, it hardens his rebar.
Shiggs:Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Mouth:That's right. The dates are whatever, chuck Norris says that's right.
Shiggs:Little known fact Chuck Norris can speak Braille. Mm-hmm, oh, this one is 100% accurate. Okay, chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time. Oh Facts, yep, he can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Merlin:Mm-hmm, you don't. I think I've seen that before. Yeah, that kid in Portland that rides that unicycle that plays the bagpipes Anyway, he plays the bagpipes that shoot flames. I think I've seen it then I may have been drunk, probably.
Shiggs:Yeah, I would think so. Guaranteed, chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run.
Shiggs:Oh, Maybe my grandma, oh hey, One time a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg, leg. After five days of excruciating pain, cobra died. Cobra died, yeah, of course, yeah, yeah. Chuck norris once won a game of connect four in three moves. Of course, a classic, this is one of the og ones. Uh, when the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. That's right. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Okay, chuck Norris does not hunt, because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Oh, yes, all right With his legs. Yeah, roundhouse kicks, roundhouse kicks To the rabbits, yeah, and.
Mouth:Roundhouse kicks Roundhouse kicks To the rabbits, yeah, and the deer.
Shiggs:Yeah, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Mouth:Yes, it is Chuck.
Shiggs:Norris can kill. That's an OG OG one, that's very old. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Mouth:Sorry about that one.
Shiggs:Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano. Oh, chuck Norris makes play the violin with a piano. Oh, hmm, chuck Norris makes onions cry. Yep Death. Once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Mouth:And he kind of lived, to tell the tale.
Shiggs:Yeah, chuck Norris writes. Or when he writes, he makes paper bleed. Yeah, oh, chuck Norris. Norris cuts. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. He can also strangle you with a cordless phone. It's the microwaves. Sure, chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. Oh, that's right.
Merlin:Attack backwards. Try that at work. Try that at work next time you're there.
Mouth:Yeah, that's going to be a new strategy.
Shiggs:Yes, did you know that Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain?
Merlin:I've seen those around here, yeah.
Shiggs:Yeah, it's a Washington special. Sure, chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul. Yes, oh, that's OG too. He can also drown a fish. Okay, chuck Norris once had a heart attack.
Mouth:His heart lost. That's actually true facts. Twice yeah.
Shiggs:Yeah, this is also one of my all-time favorites. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris. That's true. When Chuck Norris enters the room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Mouth:Oh, yeah, now I like that.
Merlin:I do too.
Mouth:That's one of my faves. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet, oh Okay. Well, I'm sure he's not the only.
Shiggs:Yeah yeah, now, yeah Right. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye. Oh Also, the quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Mm-hmm. So go get it, just don't expect your man to be around very long right uh, chuck norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him. That's right, oh that's, that's super, og yeah, I remember that one, yeah uh, there's never been a hurricane named Chuck, because it would have destroyed everything.
Mouth:That's right.
Shiggs:Again, og classic. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he pushes the earth down. Yes, chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Oh damn, chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is. Yep, I feel bad for Waldo. Still Nobody can find that little bastard. Yeah, I found him once or twice. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. Ooh, I like it. Another OG, I love the OG ones. Og ones are my favorite, the old school ones. Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
Merlin:Oh, yeah, oh, I can see that. I can see that that might add a little tang to it.
Shiggs:Sure, yeah, I'm in. Yeah, chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it.
Mouth:Oh, oh nice, that's probably facts too, actually Probably yeah.
Shiggs:This one might be the most true of all. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72 and they're all lethal. Dude, that's good, I like that Shit. See, chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Oh yeah, chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. Oh, I like it, I like it, I like it. The show Survivor we all know the show Survivor. Yeah, the original premise was putting people on an island with Chuck Norris, but there were no survivors. Yeah, guarantee. Yeah, let's see. Yeah, let's see.
Mouth:Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. That is probably one of the best ones I've ever heard.
Shiggs:That's a great one that is creative.
Merlin:I love it. What's the atomic weight of surprise?
Shiggs:I wonder. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as a giraffe. Oh Damn.
Mouth:That's pretty good too.
Shiggs:When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris when Chuck Norris does division there are no remainders.
Mouth:Oh, some math in there, yeah uh, it only takes denominators.
Shiggs:Oh, maybe okay uh, it only takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
Mouth:Oh fuck you, mike wall. I mean, they do have DVR nowadays. Sure, skip all the commercials, sir yeah.
Shiggs:Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition, oh wow.
Mouth:That's a deep one.
Shiggs:Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Mouth:Okay, that's actually pretty good.
Shiggs:Uh, chuck norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told get in my belly uh this one's stupid, but still. Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis. Oh damn, good dad joke. Yeah, sure Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Oh yeah, okay yeah, chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest. Oh.
Merlin:That's why we have eclipses now. Right, that's right.
Shiggs:That's right. Superman owes a pair of Chuck Norris undies. I don't doubt it. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
Mouth:Oh, that's worse than breathing five times a day.
Shiggs:Chuck, take this air, fucking bastard. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand. Ooh.
Merlin:Have you tried that?
Mouth:Nope, doesn't work, does it Nope? Well, I was kind of doing it.
Merlin:It's just not very loud. I saw a kid on the internet do that though.
Mouth:Yeah, yeah.
Merlin:That kid.
Mouth:Sorry, chuck, someone else can do it with you.
Shiggs:Chuck Norris doesn't need to shave, his beard is just scared to grow.
Merlin:Oh, okay, tells it how far to go out and boom, there it is. There it is. I have the same problem.
Shiggs:Before you forgot a gift for Chuck Norris. Santa Claus was real. That's pretty funny. All right, sorry, kids. In an average living room, there are a thousand objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. Mm-hmm, I believe that Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person who could fly. Oh Okay, I love it when he who could fly.
Mouth:Oh Okay, I love it when he makes himself laugh.
Shiggs:Yes, Chuck Norris' belly button is actually a power outlet, all right. Hey, Chuck, nice to meet you Mind if I charge my phone here?
Merlin:real quick A little top off here.
Shiggs:Oh my God.
Merlin:That's a deep one, we're going to talk for 15 minutes, if you don't mind.
Shiggs:Chuck Norris is the only man who can fight himself and win.
Mouth:Yeah, I think we established that earlier.
Shiggs:All right, a few more to go here In different dimensions, though Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys. Oh, dimensions, though Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys. Oh, okay, a little dumber action.
Mouth:Yeah Wow, some serial killerism in there.
Shiggs:Sure yeah, chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
Mouth:Oh, that's actually a pretty good one. I kind of like that.
Merlin:Yeah, you can technically do that, I won't, I digress. Anyway, go ahead.
Shiggs:Last one. You can do that Last one, alright? The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Merlin:Well, of course it does. You know, I was just at the doctor and they did not offer the Chuck Norris shot.
Mouth:That's because you're not the flu.
Merlin:Yeah, what the fuck the flu gets the Chuck don't get one I declined the shots they they offered, sure, aside from the tetanus, which is why my left arm is on fire uh, it's better than your, I would have taken it right, agree, right. Although I offered that up as the injection point, they declined. I would have taken the chuck norris shot, sure, sure who, who wouldn't right?
Shiggs:you're gonna be a psychopath. Why is this not?
Merlin:readily available that would cure covid and cancer and like everything right everything, right everything. Why is this not a thing?
Mouth:because he can't share his powers with you I think, he should. Yeah, I think he should, maybe when he just before he dies.
Merlin:It's not for everybody. We extract the essence of chuck norris and then we propagate it through the world and then it cures all. Yeah, although you know when.
Shiggs:God, savior of man, yeah you know, when god said let there be light, chuck.
Mouth:Norris said say please, oh, yes, oh and got to attach it to my belly button, to my belly button, right. Yeah. Yeah, you don't get lights, unless you ask me nicely.
Mouth:Yeah, you got to plug them into the button. Plug them into my belly button, all right. Well, folks, that wraps up our Chuck Norris extravaganza on the Beers on Me podcast. We hope you enjoyed this wild ride through the world of roundhouse kicks and unstoppable memes. I think it's safe to say we've all been thoroughly Norris-sized. Sure, sure, remember, listeners, if Chuck Norris were a podcast host, his episodes would automatically download to your device and you'd never miss a beat.
Shiggs:Whether you wanted him to or not.
Mouth:That's right. The man is just efficient. That efficient, yes, and we wish we were Chuck Norris, because then you would automatically be listening to this right now.
Merlin:Yeah, fuck yeah.
Mouth:Yeah, and as we sign off, let's raise our glasses, although I'm empty currently.
Merlin:Oh, what the fuck? No, you got a bottle in front of you. Hold on, you got a bottle in front of you.
Mouth:I have to pour myself a shot of bourbon. Just do it from the bottle.
Merlin:Yeah, just take a pull from the bottle.
Mouth:Yeah there you go it's funny because I actually wrote this and then I totally forgot.
Merlin:Oh, okay.
Mouth:There we are, our glasses to the man, the myth, the legend, chuck Norris. Chuck Norris, hold on.
Shiggs:He didn't do it right. Oh no, the man, the myth, the motherfucking legend.
Mouth:Chuck Norris, may your kicks be swift, your memes legendary and your beard forever glorious. Salud, salud. And, as always, this is the Beers on Me me podcast and we are out later. Peace out. Oh you, we are here to drink your beer. Break, break, break, break, break, break, break. We are here to drink your beer.