The Grace Space
The Grace Space is your cocoon of sanity in an evolving world, a combination of storytelling, interviews, and teachings on Universal Spiritual Law, where each week Claire shares practical, actionable teachings to help you embody your true nature of freedom, authenticity, and spiritual sovereignty.
The Grace Space
Welcome To My Bonkers Pavilion: Embracing Your Weird
What if your weirdness isn’t a flaw—but a frequency?
In this episode, I share a very human (and hilarious) story about a urotherapy poster gone rogue… and how that accidental moment of too-muchness revealed something sacred: I'm no longer hiding who I am.
Drawing on insights from my lunar nodes in Leo and Aquarius, we explore the journey from performance to presence, from approval-seeking to soul alignment. We unpack what the lunar nodes reveal about our soul’s evolution, and how astrology can guide us to embrace our cosmic weird with joy and sovereignty.
Along the way:
✦ The true meaning of stepping off the stage
✦ Why your “bonkers pavilion” might be the most sacred space of all
✦ How current astrological alignments support global awakening and personal truth
✦ What it means to exit the matrix by living from essence—not performance
This is more than astrology—it’s a call to remember who you are.
As a Certified Life Mastery Consultant, yoga teacher, and Certified Natural Health Coach, I provide impactful, transformational coaching through a variety of powerful programs.
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Take a deep breath and remember there's a power breathing you. This is your space of sanity in an evolving world, where we learn about spiritual law and how to apply it to our lives in a way that is practical and life-changing. This is where we remember truth to make the world a better place, one person at a time. I'm Claire Lottier, inspirational speaker, teacher of the technology of transformation and a certified life mastery consultant and spiritual growth mentor. Welcome to the Grace Space. So here's a fun little story for you.
Speaker 1:The other day I accidentally dropped a poster for a eurotherapy workshop a friend and I were offering into a local community WhatsApp group. Well, it wasn't exactly accidental. Someone had added me to two different community groups and suggested I drop the information into one of them. But I mixed them up and ended up sending the workshop information to the wrong group. Wrong, how Well. This group isn't what you'd call spiritually adventurous. It's more like teeny, tiny French village community happenings yard sales, raffles, pancake breakfast notices or, in our case, crepes.
Speaker 1:So you can imagine that when the words reclaim the sacred gift ofotherapy popped up on their screens, it caused a bit of a stir. One person replied no, thank you with a classic face palm emoji, another with the words Excuse me, who are you? And then came silence, the kind of silence that's louder than words. I could feel the village around me suddenly aware that there was a weirdo in their midst. My first instinct was embarrassment, that hot flush of oh no. That washes over when you realize that you've just shown way too much of yourself to people who weren't ready, or maybe you weren't ready to be seen that way. But then I paused, I took a breath and I laughed. It was, as we say in French, an act de manquée, a misstep that reveals an unconscious desire or truth. You know, when you do something accidentally, on purpose, a kind of sacred Freudian slip, a soul sneeze, if you will. Because the truth is, I'm not here to be palatable, I'm here to be myself, and sometimes that means fully occupying my own bonkers pavilion, gold taps, velvet drapes and, yes, a little jar of pee on the altar.
Speaker 1:This episode is for all of us who've ever worried about what other people think, that we're too much, too weird, too out there, too woo too you to be lovable. It's for the part of you that's secretly magical, a little feral, unashamedly curious, the part of you that maybe you've tucked away to keep the peace or to avoid being misunderstood. But here's the thing the world doesn't need a version of you that's been run through a social filter. It needs the real one, the weird one, the divine flavor that only you can bring. Today we're talking about what it means to truly embrace who you are, even the parts that others might side-eye. We'll look at how astrology, specifically the lunar nodes, can offer insight into your soul's intention for this incarnation, and I'll share how this cosmic lens helped me understand some of the most inexplicable choices that I made in hindsight. Spoiler alert they weren't so inexplicable after all, because here's the thing I want you to know right from the get-go Embracing your inner weirdo, living from your bonkers pavilion, isn't just a personal quirk.
Speaker 1:It's an act of liberation, a conscious step out of the matrix. Every time you stop contorting yourself to fit into social norms, every time you trust your own rhythm over the algorithm, every time you choose truth over performance, you are unplugging, reclaiming, remembering, and that's what this episode is really about. The personal path is the cosmic one. The lunar nodes are points in your astrological chart that represent the soul's evolutionary path where you've been south node and where your soul is growing toward north node. It's a great way to get an overarching perspective on your life, especially if you're feeling confused at sea, doubting your path, if you're feeling a little lost. It's kind of a grand compass that can align you to your soul's true north or confirm that you're well on your way. Now I don't have a strong background in astrology. I just have kind of learned as I go. But understanding this one thing the lunar nodes really brought my choices and my whole life story into sharp focus and gave me the reassuring feeling that I'd been following my inner guidance all along without realizing it. If you're not very familiar with astrology, don't worry, you're not going to be left behind.
Speaker 1:Here's a super quick breakdown. The signs describe how an energy expresses itself, like a style or flavor, while the houses describe where in your life that energy tends to show up. One easy way to think about it is the signs are like costumes or characters like Leo might be a glamorous performer, aquarius a visionary rebel, and the houses are the stages of life where they act things out. So when I say South Node, in Leo, in the third house, I'm talking about Leo's bold, expressive energy playing out on the third house stage or area of communication, learning and everyday connections. And North Node in Aquarius in the ninth house means the soul is evolving towards Aquarius's visionary, unconventional nature expressed through the house, the ninth house, that is, big picture themes like truth, wisdom and spiritual exploration. Just so happens, those are my nodes. Back to that in a minute.
Speaker 1:Just to give you another quick example, imagine someone who has a north node in Aries in the eighth house. So Aries brings bold, independent, initiatory energy. It's the warrior, not the worrier. The warrior, the pioneer, the self starter. Right the eighth house is all about transformation, intimacy, death and rebirth and deep energetic or emotional merging. So their soul's path might involve courageously diving into the depths right, courageously, that would be Aries the warrior. Diving into the depths that's the eight house. Facing shadow material, reclaiming a personal power and initiating healing, not just for themselves but for others too, kind of like a sacred warrior of the underworld. And their south node, which would be in Libra in the second house, shows where they've come from. Perhaps a past pattern of prioritizing harmony right that's Libra. The scales, staying in their comfort zone or seeking security that's the second house through relationships and material stability. Second house that worked before, but in this lifetime they're being called to shift from people pleasing and surface level peace into deep, courageous transformation, so from external balance to internal power. You see what I mean. It's to me really fascinating all of this symbolism and you know it's all about archetypes and we have all these archetypes within us, obviously. Okay, so I'm going to share my nodes with you to give you an example of how these tendencies play out over the course of an incarnation.
Speaker 1:So with my South Node in Leo, then in the third house, I come into this life with a strong background in personal expression, creativity, performance and being a voice in small communities that's the third house, small communities. I know how to shine and be seen right. So I was an actor for 25 years, makes sense, and I never worked at it. It felt so familiar like I'd done it all before. It was like falling off a log. I mean I was never the actor who was obsessively working on their script in between rehearsals and performances. I mean I never overthought anything, I just enjoyed being on stage and having fun, super comfortable, not much of a challenge. South node in Leo in the third house, been there, done that. But Leo can carry shadows right, like all of these archetypes have their shadow side, needing approval, wanting admiration over identifying with how I'm perceived rather than who I am. Classic actor's problem Definitely struggled there with how I was seen. Had to let that go. The need to be respected, recognized, admired had to let all of that go. Yeah, I remember all that.
Speaker 1:So my north node is in Aquarius, in the ninth house, and that points towards something entirely different. A couple of episodes ago we talked about the nature of light, the sine wave, and how the balancing of polarities is baked into our evolutionary process. This is another example of that. We've explored one side of the wave. Now we're being invited to explore the other so that we fully live both experiences, and they balance each other out. This gives us a richer, wider perspective, one that allows us to hold the opposites within ourselves Integration right. So Aquarius is the outsider, the visionary, the sacred rebel, the one who sees the future and dares to live it. Now and in the ninth house, that growth happens through truth, seeking spiritual philosophy and cosmic expansion. It's about liberating yourself from convention and aligning with something vast. And, by the way, the ninth house is also about one to many communication as opposed to one-to-one communication, one-to-many ie podcast and foreign lands, foreign places. I live in France. I mean, it's just crazy.
Speaker 1:So, ninth house, liberating yourself from convention that's Aquarius and aligning with something vast and, by doing so, challenging the invisible structures that have shaped our thinking. Because when you choose to follow your north node, you're not just following a personal instinct, you're actively deprogramming yourself from the matrix. It's baked right in. If you follow your north node axis, then you come out of your programming. That's how we do it right. You're breaking with inherited systems, you're stepping off the conveyor belt and choosing a life that's guided from within. This is how personal astrology becomes a revolutionary act. So in my case, it's about moving from the South to the North. Right, it's not about being admired, leo, it's about being of service. Aquarius broadcasting a frequency, speaking a truth that doesn't fit inside a tidy box, as if the soul said okay, this time I want to break free from mental cages, I want to explore the outer limits, I want to bring through new maps for how we understand this universe, god, ourselves. And I'm willing to be misunderstood along the way.
Speaker 1:If you're one of those people who's been listening to this podcast since the first season, I think you can even see that arc within the podcast and how it has evolved. So years ago, when I had this astrology reading, which was a nodal reading which I'd never had before, the astrologer said your life is about stepping off the stage. And I had to laugh because he didn't know me right. But that's exactly what I did. Literally, I stepped off the literal stage.
Speaker 1:After years of training, performing, building a career in the performing arts, I had the pedigree. People expected me to become a star, but there was so many near misses in my career that it almost felt like something was pushing me off the wheel towards something else. Back then I felt horribly thwarted, like the universe was against me. But from the perspective I have now, it all feels guided, as though life was gently, and then not so gently, closing one door so that another, more aligned path could open. Many years later it made sense.
Speaker 1:And yet when I finally did move on to the other path, even though it felt natural to do so, part of me questioned whether I was giving up, whether leaving show business was a failure of courage somewhere, whether the way things evolved in my life was a disappointment to my mother, for example. She never said she was disappointed. She's always totally supported me. But after the opening night of a musical, which ended up being the last professional gig of my career as a performer, I remember her saying you should not give this up. But it was not about giving up. I still sing, I still give the occasional concert, but now the context has changed, the purpose has deepened. When I give a concert now, it has a distinctly Aquarian ninth house orientation. When I'm on stage or on film which still seems to happen it's as a teacher.
Speaker 1:Understanding my lunar nodes gave me a sense of peace and showed me that not to have followed the path that led me here would have been the failure of courage. It showed me that I had been faithful to my soul in leaving my comfort zone and embracing a new path. And suddenly it all fit together. Of course I meant to speak about the radical, the strange, the suppressed, the sacred. Of course I'm wired for cosmic conversations, for spiritual activism, for shaking loose the dusty paradigms. The ninth house is all about higher knowledge, truth-seeking and philosophy. And Aquarius, that's the realm of the alien, the outcast, the genius, the galactic ambassador. I mean, it's like my soul said you've already done the admired thing, the applause, the stage presence. You know how to communicate with clarity, with warmth. Now use those gifts in service of liberation, of awakening, of remembering who we really are.
Speaker 1:That moment on WhatsApp wasn't a mistake. It was a mini initiation, a tiny test of whether I was really ready to be seen, truly seen, without smoothing out the weird edges, and I realized, yeah, I am. Years ago, my husband affectionately coined the phrase bonkers pavilion to describe where I live, in my being, the way I am, my consciousness space. I guess I'd be working on, you know, creating a program or writing this podcast or planning a workshop, and I just, you know, be at it all day, forget to eat. And he would show up with a snack and a cup of tea, deposit them nearby and say I'll just leave you to your bonkers pavilion. Or we would have a conversation and I'd get into some far out subject and discourse enthusiastically on it for 10 minutes without taking a break, and he would listen supportively, but he couldn't join me in my bonkers pavilion. It became a catchphrase for what, what could be categorized as the weird, the unique, the unconventional, the futuristic. Funny thing is, I mean, I never thought I was unusual, but I guess we never can see ourselves clearly, can we? We see ourselves through other people's eyes Sometimes. What's changed is that since my husband and I chose to live separately, I've really embraced how weird I am, fully without apology.
Speaker 1:Letting go of the expected version of yourself is not a gentle process. It's a psychic exfoliation. Layers of identity fall away and underneath is something simpler, stranger, more real. It's a shift from performance to presence, and you don't have to have been a professional performer to be performing in your life. You know what I mean. It's that feeling like you're doing what's expected of you. You're being performative in your life instead of totally real and totally present and true to that moment, whatever it is. And right now the stars are backing up this shift for all of us.
Speaker 1:All right, so here's a little astrological background for this moment. Pluto, the planet. Well, I think it was downgraded from a planet, but who cares? Pluto has entered Aquarius. And again, if you're new to astrology, here's a little image to help think of Pluto as the deep remodeler of the zodiac, tearing down what's outdated so something more truthful can rise. Aquarius, again, is the sign of innovation, truth and collective liberation.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, the Aries-Libra nodal axis is like a cosmic tug of war between people-pleasing and pleasing and self ownership, just like every person has their own unique nodal axis in their birth chart, there's also a collective nodal axis at play, and it shifts about every 18 months or so and it sets the tone for the growth that we're all being invited into as a society, as a collective. Okay, so right now, the nodal axis, the collective nodal axis, is Aries, libra, right, so we talked about that one before. Aries is the brave independent pioneer, the warrior. Libra is the peacemaker. So right now, the energy is nudging all of us toward the north Aries, right and away from pleasing others, right Away from Libra pleasing others, and toward Aries claiming our unique sovereign path.
Speaker 1:It's about individuation and inner authority, learning to live from soul, not script. So now is a very ripe time for you to ask yourself a few questions. Where have I sacrificed truth for approval? Where have I stayed small to stay liked for approval? Where have I stayed small to stay liked? Where am I ready to reclaim my original blueprint? This is a collective moment of choosing sovereignty, of listening not to conditioning but to the soul.
Speaker 1:And when we talk about sovereignty, we're also talking about stepping out of the matrix, out of inherited programming, mass narratives and externally dictated values. The matrix isn't just a metaphor. It's the invisible system that has shaped us from birth. For decades we've been raised inside a social, educational and technological framework designed to suppress our natural capacities. Why, why has this whole thing been designed to suppress our natural capacities?
Speaker 1:Well, we're going to get into that more and more this season, but we can all feel that it's true. I mean, if we're honest, you can feel it. Algorithms and engineered distractions have hijacked our attention. Our beliefs have been curated, our brain development has been stunted All these different ways to keep us small and dependent. Even our biology has been interfered with through food, through media, through education and synthetic inputs take that as you will that numb us to our own divinity, and all of this by design, to prevent us from waking up to the truth of who we are Multidimensional beings with infinite creative power. We are a universal, fractal Human being equals universal, fractal, more power in your little finger than the most powerful gods will ever have access to. But the veil is lifting and this era, astrologically and spiritually, is all about remembrance and reclamation. More and more of us are waking up to the deeper truth that we are sovereign beings, capable of self-healing, of direct knowing, of remembering who we are beyond systems of control and we are receiving astrological support for this awakening. It's all part of the same thing.
Speaker 1:Pluto in Aquarius equals shatter old paradigms and reveal hidden structures, while the Aries north node collectively pushes us toward fierce individuality and inner leadership. You lead yourself now, you don't let somebody else lead you. And then there's Chiron technically an asteroid, but astrologically it holds immense symbolic power. Chiron is known as the wounded healer. Okay, it represents our deepest wound and the path to healing it. Right now, chiron is in Aries, also amplifying that node, that north node, and also amplifying the pain of not being fully ourselves, of denying our instincts, of abandoning our inner fire in order to fit in. But the pain is also the doorway. Chiron in Aries invites us to reclaim the right to exist as we are, to heal through radical self-acceptance and to lead from the authenticity we once feared was too much. All of this Pluto, the nodal axis, chiron points to the same theme it's time to reclaim our authority. This awakening isn't just personal, it's planetary.
Speaker 1:As more of us exit the matrix, we begin to dismantle it from within. We stop feeding it with our energy, with our time, with our attention. We unplug from the false narratives and start sourcing truth from within. That was always the way it was meant to be. We just were in a backwards world for a very long time, and this is what the stars are echoing right now. The systems are cracking, but the soul is rising. Astrology in this moment is less about prediction and more about affirmation. It reminds us that the liberation we feel tugging at our hearts is not imagined. It's encoded Not from ego, but from soul, from heart, soul, essence of humanity, from a place of deep remembering and honoring of who we are as humans, universal fractals. We have all the power, but we've been taught to believe in powerlessness, in scarcity, to live in fear. That time is over now and the astrology is echoing it loud and clear.
Speaker 1:True freedom begins where performance ends the moment you stop curating yourself and simply let yourself be seen. I mean, this is tremendously challenging nowadays. Well, with all the pressure to create Instagram stories and such, I mean, what could be more curated than that? I admit to still having a lot of ambivalence about that stuff. It's a real question and I don't pretend to have the answer. In a world where so much of our communication is mediated by algorithms and optics, it can be hard to tell the difference between self-expression and self-performance. Maybe it comes down to the energy, the conscious or unconscious intention behind the act. If I'm sharing from my bonkers pavilion not to impress but to connect, to transmit something real, that's when it feels more aligned, that's when it feels like truth rather than performance. But I still wrestle with this question. Maybe you do too.
Speaker 1:That WhatsApp moment with the Eurotherapy poster it could have been mortifying, but I felt that it was funny, I let it be me and weirdly I felt more free than ever. And it's funny because it showed me how far I've come. I mean, in the old days that kind of thing would have. I would have thought about it for weeks, you know. I would have felt uncomfortable, I would be thinking back to it, oh my God, embarrassed and all of that. Not embarrassed by what I'm interested in, what I'm into, what I teach and all of that stuff, because of course I've been doing that for a long time, but I think for a long time I mostly kept it on the down low, you know, keep it quiet, keep it private, and I didn't really talk about it much. But the difference is now there's no more hiding. There's no more hiding in my life. It's not about shoving yourself into everybody's faces either in a way that's aggressive not at all. It's just simply knowing who you are and being totally fine with that. Knowing who you are and being totally fine with that, and you know, withstanding sometimes the gaze of other people that would have been previously uncomfortable, it showed me how much things have changed inside. That little misstep has been symbolically very powerful for me. I've had a lot of chuckles over it.
Speaker 1:Your weirdness isn't your flaw, it's your frequency. When we let ourselves be seen in our strangeness, our tenderness, our truth, we become beacons. We become permission slips for others to drop the mask too. Your essence is your medicine, and essence isn't always polished, it's just real. So here's the invitation. What if you stopped trying to be palatable? What if you gave yourself permission to be gloriously, radically, gently weird? What if the version of you that you've been taught to hide is actually the one carrying the keys to your freedom? We don't need permission, we are the permission.
Speaker 1:Step off the stage, step into your wild knowing, pitch your bonkers pavilion on sacred ground, hang the fairy lights, let your soul music play and be, because this is it, this is the act, this is how we exit the matrix not by fighting it, but by becoming so radically ourselves and so okay with that that it can no longer hold us. Your bonkers pavilion is a portal. Build it. So here's a few prompts for reflection. So here's a few prompts for reflection.
Speaker 1:What version of myself am I finally ready to release? What soul truth have I been afraid to say out loud? Where does my weirdness actually hold the seeds of my medicine? What would it look like and feel like to live from essence, not performance? Let those questions simmer and, if it feels good, feel free to reach out, share what comes up. Let me know how your bonkers pavilion's coming along.
Speaker 1:And remember, building your bonkers pavilion is exiting the matrix. It's choosing to live by soul, not script. And that choice, however wild or quiet it may look like from the outside, is what shifts the collective from programmed to present, from fear to freedom. If you're on this path of self-remembrance, of reclaiming your truth, your frequency, your essence, know that I'm right here with you. You can explore more through my podcast archive programs or a breakthrough session if you feel called to it. All the links are in the show notes. Stay weird, stay sovereign and, as always, walk in grace. Thank you for joining me in the grace space, where you're always in the right place. If you love this podcast, I invite you to subscribe to it and submit a review, if you feel called to do so. Also, be sure to sign up for my newsletter using the link in the show notes. I look forward to spending this time with you again next week. Meanwhile, walk in grace.