The Grace Space
The Grace Space is your cocoon of sanity in an evolving world, a combination of storytelling, interviews, and teachings on Universal Spiritual Law, where each week Claire shares practical, actionable teachings to help you embody your true nature of freedom, authenticity, and spiritual sovereignty.
The Grace Space
Shadow Dancing: Finding Gold in Your Darkest Hours
What happens when trauma becomes your greatest teacher?
In Part 2 of our profound conversation, Faye Laroux shares her harrowing journey through betrayal, assault, and spiritual manipulation at the hands of a predatory shaman in Peru—and the extraordinary alchemy that transformed this experience into her pathway to sovereignty.
Beyond the traumatic details lies a story of radical reclamation. Faye guides us through the aftermath of her ordeal, revealing how she discovered "a part of you that's untouchable, incapable of being hurt completely" even in her darkest moments. This recognition became the foundation for genuine forgiveness, not as spiritual bypass but as a sword of clarity cutting through shame and victimhood.
Our conversation explores powerful concepts like "eating death for breakfast"—Faye's daily practice of facing her shadows, shame, and discomfort, metabolizing these experiences rather than being consumed by them. We dive deep into what it means to meet the predator within, to claim experience as a mirror of unresolved inner conflict, and to integrate the fractured parts of ourselves frozen in time.
This is more than a survivor's tale; it's a masterclass in spiritual alchemy—the art of transmuting suffering into wisdom, victimhood into power, and darkness into medicine. For those walking the spiral path of reclamation, ready to embody what they once disowned, Faye's journey illuminates the way home to yourself.
Faye Laroux is a transformational coach, embodiment expert, and founder of Three Bodies™—a healing and training modality based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Her work helps highly sensitive, growth-driven individuals access deeper alignment, nervous system regulation, and purpose embodiment by using the three bodies to discover, explore, and attain a fulfilling destiny trajectory.
Over the last decade, she has guided hundreds of clients through profound transformation—offering livable wisdom and tools for growth across body, mind, and spirit. Whether through 1:1 coaching, retreats, or keynote speaking, Faye’s work continues to serve those ready to lead, love, and create from their most embodied self.
Want more? Read the blog article associated with this episode.
As a Certified Life Mastery Consultant, yoga teacher, and Certified Natural Health Coach, I provide impactful, transformational coaching through a variety of powerful programs.
NEW! Join the 21-day Abundance Experiment
Work with me.
Follow me on social:
@clairelautierlmc and @thegracespacepodcast
Insight Timer
Take a deep breath and remember there's a power breathing you. This is your space of sanity in an evolving world, where we learn about spiritual law and how to apply it to our lives in a way that is practical and life-changing. This is where we remember truth to make the world a better place, one person at a time. I'm Claire Lottier, inspirational speaker, teacher of the technology of transformation and a certified life mastery consultant and spiritual growth mentor. Welcome to the Grace Space and welcome to part two of this piercing, powerful conversation with Faye LaRue here on the Grace Space. If you haven't listened to part one, I invite you to begin there.
Speaker 1:In this second half, we really enter the crucible. This is where the story becomes transformation. Faye guides us through the aftermath of trauma, not just the healing, but the alchemy. What does it mean to meet the predator within, to claim experience as a mirror of unresolved inner conflict and to dance with our own shadows without blame, to integrate the shards of self that were frozen in time? How do we restore right relationship with the body? How do we restore right relationship with the body, not as an object or battleground, but as a sacred intelligence, holistic and capable of remembering everything? This is a conversation about radical honesty, transmutation and forgiveness, not as a bypass but as a sword of clarity. It's about going through the center and discovering that at the core of every distortion is a treasure. This is for all of us walking the spiral path of reclamation, ready to embody what we once disowned.
Speaker 2:So what happened? What happened for me and you know I'll I'll preface it by saying that, like when I finally went down, like you know, we got into how I walked out of abt at 22, got into healing work, but then my career reinvented. Um, I did a lot of other things and so I had just finished a starring role on Broadway. But during that time that I had this big role on Broadway, that sort of was like the culmination of my career and it was really quite exciting. I was in a marriage that was absolutely deteriorating me and I didn't realize how abusive it was and what I was absorbing and just how I was, how shameful I was about who I was and how shameful I'd become about who I was. So after that closed, I stayed in that marriage a few more years but eventually did get out. And so once I got out of that marriage this is when nothing was working out for me my career would not reinvent the way it had before. I started a couple of businesses. They didn't take off. I started to do body work again because that was always my fallback, you know activity, and but it wasn't. Nothing was clicking for me. I didn't feel connected, I didn't have. I didn't feel like I belonged. I was really quite lost and I couldn't understand why it wasn't working out for me.
Speaker 2:You take a look at, like, what I've been. You know my success and just who I. You know what I look like. I am not. You know a marginalized person. You know other than being female like you. Look at me. It's like your life should be fine. It really shouldn't be that hard for you, but it was. I was struggling, it was hard for me and so I for me, and so I I basically one day just kind of broke down. My anxiety was so intense and really called out for help, like actually used my voice from like just again being pretty voiceless, that even, um, even the role I had on Broadway was a mute. I mean, it was not lost on me that I had no voice. So after calling out, after kind of actually literally calling out and having this sound come through me that felt like I am calling towards higher somebody come help me, something come help me. I am, I'm lost. And a few months later I mean literally I think a month to two months later I get a referral for a body work client straight off a plane from Peru comes into my office and he came with a warning. He came with a warning about, like, just be careful with this guy. He likes to be in control. So, you know, I've I mentioned a few times in the past where I'm like, oh, people try to control me, don't worry, I don't do that. You know this, in a way, this sort of egoic side of to me that feels like I can play that game. I know I don't get wrapped up in this. Well, he took me down. He slowly and methodically took me down and basically pulled that and completely unplugged me from my kind of that last little thread of connection that I had.
Speaker 2:Gosh, the story is layered. So this person I was in a place of need this person entered my life, got closer to me than I wanted him to and ultimately, but also introduced me to. Well, I have something that I think could really help help you shamanism, ayahuasca. And I definitely I mean obviously had heard of ayahuasca. Obviously, I knew plenty of other people who had done it. The people that I knew that I had done it. I didn't feel aligned with um, where they were doing it. I didn't feel aligned with aligned with where they were doing it. I didn't feel aligned with. So it had never and I had never done a psychedelic in my life. It's not, I didn't do them recreationally. I was always terrified of psychedelics because I grew up with night terrors and so I really was always afraid of what would come up and being able to handle it.
Speaker 2:That said, this situation, it just I was in need, I needed help, and this sounded like the thing that was going to help, that was actually going to be able to get to the root, what I felt intuitively in my body about the root of the problem being very deep inside of me and being, you know, just not. I had done all the other healing like I've been in therapy for years. I've been done tons of body work, tons of somatic work. I was still in a lot of pain, I was still struggling, so I needed something deeper and this again sounded like the thing. Ultimately, again, we can maybe backtrack. Let me get to like.
Speaker 2:The point is, I wasn't even supposed to work with this particular shaman. This particular shaman showed up and I know now it was all premeditated but took me to another center. But took me to another center, drugged me, dragged me out of the maloca, raped me and then continued to abuse me the more I fought back. Then I was legitimately drugged I mean, this is beyond ayahuasca legitimately drugged so that I couldn't fight back and just continued to be taken down and the point was to really pull me away. I started to see how there was a layer of women who this must have happened, obviously I was not the first one who never left, who came from other parts of the world and now continue to quote study under him, but they were just sort of used up and so disconnected from themselves. I saw what was. I was able to see what was going on. I got a lot of really incredible visions and I was able to save my own life by playing the game.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, so, so I just want to contextualize this a little bit. So you ended up going to Peru to have a psychedelic experience, like a lot of people do, right, a lot of people decide they want to go do ayahuasca, and so they go and they have an experience with a shaman and you know, very often these are positive experiences for people. This, this, did not turn out to be the case for you. Well, again, we're not going to judge the experience, because it was what happened, but are you willing to say who this shaman was?
Speaker 2:Yeah, his name is Guillermo. He's well known and it's on the internet other people talking about him, so you know they've managed to take most of it down. It's harder to find some of the things, but I remember coming back and looking him up because I was the person who sent me down there and set me up like sort of I felt like I was sent into the lion's den, like I was sent into, you know, they knew, and it was a whole group of people but at the same time they were so, um, connected to him and so idolized him and, you know, worked with him. That was never a like I thought I was protected. I mean, it was never a thought in my mind that I would be vulnerable because, you know, I was associated with this group of people that worked with them. But, as we know, you can manipulate anything. You can manipulate any story. You can manipulate, especially when you have, you know, access and the shaman are very, very, very powerful, but they're also being very, very powerfully used.
Speaker 1:So again we're talking about this invisible kind of force. You once described this shaman as being inhabited. Can you explain what you mean by that?
Speaker 2:So what I started to be able to see is that he wasn't going to be able to stay alive. He lived off of pulling energy. What I started to be able to see is that he wasn't going to be able to stay alive. He lived off of pulling energy, and most of that energy that was being pulled was going through him to other, to this really really almost infinite darkness. The amount of energy that must have to go to keep that a lot, to keep that, the amount of light that must have to go to keep that a lot, to keep that, the amount of light that must have to go to keep that in existence, is like whoa.
Speaker 2:It's a little like I don't even know if I could comprehend consciously, but what I could tell was that he was going to pull love from me because it wasn't even like he had to. This is like on somewhere where he had signed up or given his, given himself over to this being his existence. So it was no longer about like he's going to take it, whether I want it, I want to give it or not, he's going to. He like, he's going to take it If I don't choose to give. That's when I'm going to, that's when I'm going to lose myself If I shut the channel down.
Speaker 1:Okay. So in a way he was being used in the way that he didn't really have a choice in the matter of whether, I mean, obviously, he had a choice. But I guess at some point you lose yourself, you lose your soul, you lose your connection to source your authentic connection. Yeah, because you've sold yourself to darkness or whatever. I mean this is the kind of thing that I've heard.
Speaker 1:People who were subjected to SRA, satanic ritual abuse saw or felt perceived that there was some kind of darkness that was feeding off of the people and that the people involved in these rituals and black magic and things like that are actually feeding another entity. We could say, are actually feeding another entity, we could say, through the action, and this entity is sucking energy and life force from the people who are being victimized by these rituals. Right, and I mean, I don't know about you, but back in the old days I used to think that all of that was just make-believe. I used to think that all of that magic, black magic, that kind of stuff was just astral sideshow. And it is astral, but it's a real thing. It's a real thing that happens and is happening all the time thing. It's a real thing that happens, and it's happening all the time, and I think this is something that we've got to be aware of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's definitely a real thing. You know, for me I never necessarily thought it didn't exist, I think because it's always because of those night terrors I talked about, because I've always had a connection and because I think ultimately this was always going to happen on some level. All this grazing of the Jeffrey Epstein and um, I've been alongside Donald Trump within in various activities, with that I've had in New York city, you know.
Speaker 1:Just, I've heard Do you care to comment on that a little bit more? What kind of what do you mean by alongside Donald Trump?
Speaker 2:And, like I've been inside his box at the U S open, you know, because I was with the people I was hanging out with. You know, like I've crossed paths and um been in his presence a few times, more than once. I think that where you're, just I'm aware of that energy I've always been aware of, like, there's a certain darkness, there's a certain weird something's off, it's not, it doesn't feel safe. Um, I've always I've not necessarily put it aside Like it doesn't exist, but I didn't want to know what it was.
Speaker 2:Right, I didn't want to open that door, trying my best not to open that door because, well, for so many reasons. One, because it's um, it's not out there, it's in here. It's because, to a certain extent, to embrace the level of darkness that I am connected to, that we are all connected to, was too hard to do. It was going to be too. You know, it was a very big level of acceptance to let that, to really see it, because once you see it, you know that it's part of you.
Speaker 1:That's right, Okay, and can we just I just want to put a little frame around this here Can we just acknowledge and understand and like feel in the body right now, that acknowledging the darkness that we have inside ourselves does not in any way deny the light that is there? It does not corrupt the? I mean there is an element of us that is our true nature, that is completely incorruptible. The darkness can to to own. It does not negate the purity of our essence in any way.
Speaker 2:Absolutely it doesn't. Um, well, there are two, are in a way, they're two almost like, almost like layers, two different layers. Um, cause what you said, like it doesn't corrupt. I mean you really you took me right to when I did get, when I got out of Peru and I came back and my, I was blamed for what happened. I, you know just my world was just falling apart back here in this world and I was so broken and I felt so damaged and I felt so dirty and I felt so shameful and I would sit on the all I could. I mean, so many things happened during that time. I could barely, barely get myself to move, physically, move my body. I had no voice, but but what you took me to was this I was sitting at the water's edge.
Speaker 2:I was in Santa Monica at the time and I'd sit there for hours. I mean it's all I really could do, crying, kind of asking for help. I got a down, I got, I saw something I don't know if you want to call it a download, but what I heard soft sensed, was when I was asking about like I don't, how do I begin to forgive? I can't even wrap my head around how to start to forgive. What does it even look like? What it would be? And what I got was I saw my kind of physical body, I, and I saw this blue light. Blue light in it and I got the sense that said there's a part of you that doesn't need to learn how to forgive, because there's a part of you that's untouchable, that's incapable of being hurt completely.
Speaker 2:And that's exactly what you were just pointing to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I mean forgiveness is like that. Forgiveness is necessary on this plane, exactly. It's like a bridge. We need it so that we can actually sense the part of us that is beyond the need for forgiveness, right when, as soon as you've forgiven something, it's like it disappears, it doesn't exist anymore because it was never. It never needed to be forgiven. From the perspective of the higher self, where everything is one.
Speaker 2:Right. And what I realized in that moment, this is how my brain works. I'm like, okay, so if that's true, then there's also that same essence in that person that's incapable of hurting somebody. Hurting somebody, there's that layer, too, where that person, that that essence, is incapable of hurting me, incapable of hurting anyone. That person that hurt me, hurt me so bad, right. So what I saw is like it's more of that human layer. It's the human layer like part of it's the ego matrix that deals with blame and hurt, that we are here hurting each other, and then there's playing roles, playing a role for each other.
Speaker 1:I mean, can we backtrack a bit just to make it clear to people that what happened to you was you went down to Peru to participate in ceremony right for the purposes of expanding your consciousness. The result was it did expand your consciousness. It's not the way you expected. Yeah, you were drugged, you were raped, you were kept there against your will.
Speaker 2:Not exactly against my will, let me so I was. I went to TerraPoto to do the thing with a group of people. I was taken somewhere else. I was raped. Then I was like this is all ayahuasca. Then I was drugged. After I was raped and I was like ooh, I don't like this. Also, I can say that in these nights there was terror involved. Like I hadn't slept in days. I was scared, I was. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't. I had been sort of wifed by the shaman. I didn't want that to happen. I was being taken away. You know, I was just being manipulated in all these ways where my and in such acute fear that I remember times being like, if I get afraid right now, I'm going to lose my mind, like I'm actually going to lose my mind.
Speaker 1:So psychically, you were in a super, super vulnerable state because you were under the influence of ayahuasca. Uh, and, and when you say you were drugged, was that them giving you something else, or was that?
Speaker 2:yeah, so after was like the big turning point where I had been groomed every single night was a grooming until I was dragged out of the maloca literally dragged out of the maloca, yeah, raped and then like, just basically like, left lifeless until I by the shaman.
Speaker 1:Yeah this guy, guillermo, yeah this guy. And as he was committing that act? Was he trying to tell you that this was for your own good or something?
Speaker 2:Or was he trying to incorporate it in his teaching or it's so interesting that you bring that up because in my I was, he didn't have to because every he he didn't have to use a voice because you're so psychically opened. They're already programming you. I kept asking myself is this part of the healing? Is this part of the healing? I couldn't speak, I was hyperventilating the whole time, hours and hours and hours of hyperventilation and I couldn't. I didn't have a voice and I could barely get my mind to be able to grapple what was happening to me physically. So, but I kept asking myself is this part of the healing? Is this part of he knows? I'm asking that he knows he can read every.
Speaker 2:He could read everything that I was coming into, which is why I was, you know, pinpointed as like one that's vulnerable, like you know they can. They know what you're coming in with, they know how vulnerable you are to what they can you know. Because they all. The way that, it seems to me, is, ultimately there has to be a certain amount of people that go down that feed the whole operation. To begin with, because there's plenty of people who are getting miraculous healing, but there's a layer of people that are taken under, so to speak, underground, to be fed off of, to be used to then keep everything else going right right, okay so and but just to finish that timeline.
Speaker 2:So then, yes, I was. Ultimately I started to fight back, and then I was drugged with something. I don't know what it was, but I was the only one given something different in the room. And that's when my whole body changed. And then it became a game where I realized that I was because I thought I could win somehow, and then, but I realized that I'm going to have to play this game differently in order to get out. So I basically changed my mode of fighting to choosing to love this person. That did two things for me. One, it convinced him that I was in and was able, so I was able to leave and sort of the torment treatment ended. And the other thing is is that in my choice to give in, my choice to open my channel, I started receiving a deep connection to source channel.
Speaker 1:I started receiving a deep connection to source Okay. So how many days went by, like, how long were you there? Total of two weeks, okay, is that how long you were?
Speaker 2:originally supposed to be there, or Roughly. I was originally supposed to be there like three days, supposed to be there like three days, and then when I got the diagnosis and got taken somewhere else, I changed that to roughly 10 more days or whatever it was. So I really wanted to get on that plane. I was really scared I was not going to get on that you know that plane to get out of there. And so I started to like make sure I did everything I needed to to be able to be set free, Right.
Speaker 1:So presumably you were being um uh treated in quotes or kind of punished because you were resisting uh being owned by being one of his women who stayed there. Basically, I mean, were some of these other women who, who were more long-term than you, I mean, had they been there for years, years, holy to leave we're never going to go back right. So they were just living in a sort of state of what stupor or uh you know.
Speaker 2:You know it's interesting because I think that there's a certain level of ego involved, not a certain level, a lot of ego involved, like and I felt it come out in me too where it's like you were chosen, you were the chosen one, you really chosen, when there must be something very special about you and you were being told that by people, right? So they're not so much in a stupor, as much as they can, you can tell that in their body. They know the truth, but they've chosen to believe something different because it's the only way they can handle their reality. So they're, they're jealous, they're bitter, they're, you know they were. I remember getting it towards me, right, because I'm the new, but they've seen it happen a million times in front of them. Again, I'm not the only one.
Speaker 2:When I left, one of those women was like, I hear and this was something I had kind of agreed to, like I hear that you're going to be apprenticing, you know, with Guillermo, with the shaman. You know, welcome to the sisterhood, you're one of us. And I just remember, like in my body, being like I am not one of you, like I'm not coming back, like I was getting out. But even that feeling of like. You know that whole mentality, that whole idea of like I'm going to feel better about myself as soon as you get on this side, as soon as you know, as soon as you realize what's happened to you and I'm like I know what's happening.
Speaker 1:Sounds a lot like a cult. I mean, it sounds like it is. There's a strong control, mind control, manipulation going on. There's a story that everybody's telling themselves about how great it is to be the chosen ones and how powerful and amazing.
Speaker 2:this shaman is Right.
Speaker 1:Right. And so when you actually left, was it on a pretense Like I've got to, like going out for cigarettes and never coming back. You know the old, that old chestnut like I just got to go do something, I'll be back in 10 minutes, or.
Speaker 2:Well, he knew I was going. I got the okay to go back to the States.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Like I got the, I played up the, the whole thing. Um, I mean, he really believed I loved him and to a certain extent I did. You know, like I opened that, I opened my, I opened it up. I let it go for my own preservation, knowing that when I got back it was going to be bad, knowing I was in a bad place and it was going to be bad like bad meaning, like I didn't even know how fucked up I was, but I knew it was really not good.
Speaker 2:But the very last thing he said to me where you know, again, he never used words, he acted like he couldn't speak English, but he managed to say out loud in English minutes before I left it's okay for you to go back to the States, it's okay for you to go do things in your life, but how did he phrase it? But you can only ever sleep with me. Yeah, I mean, you know somebody says that you're just like wow, wow, what a fucking scam. This whole thing. You know, and my feeling I remember feeling kicked in the gut, just being like man, you have been so duped.
Speaker 1:Wow, what a feeling. I mean, I think we all know what that. We all know, at least on on some scale, what that feeling is, but I can't, I can't. I mean I'm imagining what you knew you were going to have to process once you got out of there, because you're like, okay, the only way to get out is to is to play along with this and to go on 100%, you know, and to even buy it myself, Exactly. And then, and then I will have to process the fact that I, I was in this situation, that I made these choices yeah, yeah, yeah, and and that I had to tell myself that it was all okay yeah, yep, absolutely all those things.
Speaker 2:And it was. It was, um, it was a big breakdown when I got back and a big breaking, yeah. So what happened next? How did you deal with this? And one of my pivotal turning points was that what I had shared earlier about seeing that blue light and getting that message that there's a part of you that doesn't have to learn how to forgive because there's a part of you that's incapable of being hurt that, basically, was the turning point of okay, well, if I'm not going, to die.
Speaker 1:I better get to work. How long did it take for you to start to get to that point after this occurred? Probably three months.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay. So I just want to touch on something that we talked about in our initial conversation about Ho'oponopono. I mean because we can go to this radical depth you and I, faye, because we know that we're speaking the same language and I want to share something that we've talked about before. Around you know how Ho'oponopono teaches, in essence that, like, the reality that we're experiencing is just a representation of ourselves, right? That we can't experience anything in our reality that is not part of our consciousness, that it doesn't belong to us somewhere, right? So, whatever it is that we're aware of, even if it seems to have nothing to do with us, it's ours. It's ours to process, it's ours to incorporate, to integrate, to love, to incorporate, to integrate, to love and to ultimately let go of even the good stuff. Right, like everything has to move, right? So we don't want to cling either. With the hindsight that you have now, how do you see this being as having been part of you, this experience in your reality, as having been part of you? Hmm, been part of you?
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, I don't. I'm not sure how to answer that. Can you keep? Can you rephrase it? Can you phrase?
Speaker 1:it another way? Yeah, yeah, definitely, as we've talked about um, no right wrong, no good bad, that the body is the subconscious mind, that the reality is a reflection of our um, our inner energy, our light and our dark. What was being balanced or healed, paradoxically, by this experience that, at the time, was totally disempowering, where you had to, where you just lost any sovereignty.
Speaker 2:So two things come to mind.
Speaker 2:One is, um, karma, past life stuff, past life, uh, or ancestral life, whatever, however you want to look at it stuff in the DNA, stuff to be cleared for me, but then also what actually potentially encompasses that but feels more like the actual thing that's part of me is that it's the learning, like the actual thing that's part of me is that it's the learning. It's that in order for me to gain access to what I have access to, I had to go dig into that wound and go dig into that darkness and go sit and go see it, see it in this lifetime. It's as if maybe it was always available, but I wasn't going to be willing to access it, I wasn't't going to be willing to be able to see it, and so, in a way, it was like the gift of well, let's take you down there so that you know what it feels like, cause I'm such a body person and we do learn through our bodies, so it's like you can feel it and you can feel what it feels like to sit in shit.
Speaker 2:Feel it and you can feel what it feels like to sit in shit literally Sit in your shit, sit in the shit and then when you start to clean up that shit, you know what that feels like. You know what? Then you can smell shit from a mile away and you don't. This is how your intuition is honed. This is how the things, the honing, the teaching, the learning process it goes back to like this is how you become the psychic being is because you have to train. There is a training process involved and if we choose the warrior path, then you're in training. You don't just get to become a warrior. It's somehow not in this plane.
Speaker 1:Well, in a sense, you've always been training for that, because you started training, as you said, as a child, as a little thing.
Speaker 2:So, exactly. So, in a way, when you take a look right, I mean I believe that having that access to my body is part of what saved my life.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Having that connection, that home, that years and years and years. Because truly you know, and I can really truly say this, that people don't make it back from what I went through. For the most part I went through for the most part because it took something really, really intense uh to, and it did take, and because I had that, I had my mind, had spent time in my toes enough that I would you know, as much as I had been unplugged from myself was when I started to come back into my body and it was sad, it was incredibly painful, but it was also familiar. It wasn't like I was coming back here for the first time.
Speaker 1:Right, and what you said about karma, no-transcript. Can you elaborate on that a little bit?
Speaker 2:You know absolutely. I'll also preface this by saying that I know I don't know everything, but what I do know is that and I don't even necessarily think I mean I think over the scope of lifetimes and not even maybe lifetimes here on earth but things I participated in around is that it's not even that I did anything bad, but I perhaps had memories back to the ho'oponopono of actually deeper, deep, deep suffering that I hadn't cleaned up, hadn't come to peace with, hadn't been able to transmute yet. And so that was the opportunity in this lifetime, because I had this sense that I died not in a place of forgiveness from really, really intense suffering in a past life, in something.
Speaker 1:So like almost like a process that was interrupted, life in something. So like almost like a process that was interrupted, like a continuation yeah, and so that, to me, is karma.
Speaker 2:You know there's I don't you know to the again to the extent that, like I don't know, you know you want to get real technical about what karma is. Well, I don't know that anybody really knows, but you can feel it when it's a weight on you. When there's a weight on you and you know you have stuff that you want to clean up, that you want to be be free from that, to me that's karma. Whatever that shows up, like for you that's for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I mean, anytime we we see those recurring patterns, right, those brushes that you had situations with people with that same kind of energy. You know it's like you're in an orbit where you're brushing up against a frequency and then you took a deep dive down into it to come back up again, dive down into it, uh to to come back up again. And and this is what makes you so incredibly uh, strong sounds like kind of a generic word, but I it's more than strength. We're really talking about the subtlety of, uh, your own currency with yourself, with your body, with energy, and how that feeds into the, to the work that you're able to do now and and the depth at which you're able to help people now. I mean, if you hadn't gone through that experience, it wouldn't be the same.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I wouldn't know what I know. I mean again, I wouldn't give it up. Be the same. Oh no, I wouldn't know what I know. I mean again, I wouldn't give it up for the world, I would not. I would not. I mean people. When I do, briefly maybe, tap on it with certain people, you know, when I'm teaching, when I'm doing, when I'm with, when I'm working with people, sometimes I'll bring up just this little bit. Well, you know, because everybody loves to think their life is so hard.
Speaker 2:You know, we, we do. We love to be like well, what you know, because I suffered in this, so I might, every once in a while, I'll tap on and be like well, you know this happened and and just be like. But here's the thing, and inevitably and this is why I do it, I'll bring it up. It's because of the teaching around oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And then I get to be like I'm not, I am not sorry, I'm not sorry at all, I'm so grateful because I have a connection to my, to power now that no one will ever be able to take away.
Speaker 1:Amazing. This is the gold. This is the gold. This is what we want to empower the world with right and, and I think this is the province. This is uniquely the province of well, maybe not uniquely, but definitely the province of human beings, right, human beings who are connected to source, who are universal beings, that we can take something on one side of the polarity and transmute it through the other side of the polarity into a place that's totally centered absolutely, and that is where power exists, because you can give your power away on either side and your power can be taken on either side.
Speaker 2:But when you really stay in that center, that place of balance, that place that you are consciously aware of what you're doing and what you're letting go of the level of your consciousness, you know, then that's where you maintain your sovereignty, that's how you maintain, that is how it's done and you know we, we talked about this before. But um, your ability to eat up for yourself not because the world tells you you're good enough to, not because, but to take your and what we said, you know, eat death for breakfast your ability to start to do that, that's power. That's where power, that's where it starts to begin, that's where you start to digest it, that's where you start to just eat it up, eat it up Death for breakfast.
Speaker 1:I love it. Tell me what that means to you.
Speaker 2:Uh, it means all the stuff you'd love to throw over the fence and blame or be victimized by or get you know that you'll be like no, I'm going to, I'm just going to eat it. I'm going to eat it. I'm going to eat it.
Speaker 1:I'm going to eat breakfast.
Speaker 2:I'm going to start my day with that, and then what else you know, and then get on to my destiny. Right, Because there's nothing else, because you're not busy in the noise of all that stuff. You ate, you already ate it up that day. Now you can get to stay on, get to work, get to work on what you know, knowing for the truth that's in your body, that you are resonating at what needs to get done, so you can lay down what you're supposed to lay down in this lifetime. Do it with joy, laughter, intensity, you know like do it, do it with all of the feelings.
Speaker 1:So, faye, how do you eat death for breakfast? What's your process?
Speaker 2:It looks different every day. How do I eat death for breakfast? I think, ultimately, it's that, embracing the, that I have a, that I'm here to get something done. So I do my work, I work my physical body. You know, I work my physical body, I work my energy body. I'm always learning. I'm letting myself be taught. I, my whole, you know, my existence here is about letting myself be taught and, you know, letting myself be changed by and being attuned to who it is that's speaking to me.
Speaker 2:I definitely had a very clear moment where the energy of destiny arrived. I remember sitting in class and the energy of destiny arrived and there it was, and it was so wah-wah. I thought it was going to be like everything's clear. It was so like that's it. What was it? What was the moment?
Speaker 2:I was sitting in a kundalini yoga class after doing hours and hours and hours and hours of yoga. I mean, for those who have not done Kundalini yoga, it is an absolutely phenomenal technology system to reorient your body, especially if you've been traumatized, which we've all been, by the way, we've all been traumatized, we're all being traumatized. It is, you know, once again, I separate I because of ballet, and I mentioned like the culture of ballet is not it's, it's a mess. The medicine of ballet, the technique has brilliance to it. Same for kundalini yoga, the culture of kundalini yoga itself, the people that love to get involved and like, then make something of it. I'm like you know, okay, have fun the technology of it. If you can take it for yourself and just take it for yourself and apply it and know that the journey is solo, yes, then it's brilliant.
Speaker 2:So I was in a, a Kundalini yoga class and, yeah, just one of those long meditations, and I was working with Guru Jagat. I was in Guru Jagat's studio at the time, different teachers, but a lot of the phrases I mean the eat death for breakfast is her phrase A lot of the things she said were absolutely forward, brilliant and, in my opinion, like there was a truth that I resonated with, um, with what she could, what she said, and she was talking a lot about destiny and aligning with destiny, and I knew that I was like I, you know, with everything that had happened to me, with the life I'd had so far. I was like I have some kind of destiny. What you know, how do what I don't, how do I get clear now that I thought it was ballet related and you know, performing on stages around the world, and then now this has happened. So what is it? What are we doing? What's going on?
Speaker 2:So it was in the air, it was in the process of like a container she was holding right, she was holding a certain container towards us, those of us that were in her space, her sphere, to align with this energy of destiny. Well, I aligned and I got it, and then it was like nothing. It was like okay, there it is Really. What it comes down to is then you have to align with that energy every day. It's not the path that's just like laid out, for you still don't know anything, you still don't know.
Speaker 2:It is just that you felt the energy, and so this is why feeling your body and feeling energy in your body is a key part, and this is what Kundalini Yoga can do is you'll feel energy in your body and just none of it means anything until it means something, until all of a sudden, something will click. But because I can feel energy in my body, when I felt the energy of destiny, it was, it's just an energy, it's energy that I knew. So for me, the process of eating death for breakfast every day is making sure that I'm aligning with that energy, right, right and I don't know. And then I end up, you know, sitting here with you having this conversation. It's like this is in alignment with that. It doesn't mean anything, I don't know where it's going yet, but I'm showing up for that.
Speaker 1:Well, it's, it's, it's, yeah, it's agreeing to to um, tell yourself the truth about everything every day, absolutely. It's like this, this, this is how I feel right now. This is what's going on right now. Right, I mean, it's so simple, it's like it's workmanlike. That's why the destiny is one. You're like oh, that's it, I just have to be, I just have to be real Totally, to be totally exactly With myself.
Speaker 2:Totally. Oh, that means I have to like get over myself.
Speaker 1:Get over my story, right, my story about this and that, and no, no, like, what is the vibration, what is the frequency, what am I feeling in my body right now? And then I don't have to change that, I just have to know what it is and be real with it, right?
Speaker 2:Like, okay, genuine honesty to the best of your ability every day, knowing that you're going to get more and more and more honest if you're on that path.
Speaker 1:That's been a hellfire learning for me for sure.
Speaker 2:Well, it was for me too. I mean, I think that was part of like get back to eating death for breakfast. You know, it's, I think, part of why people don't make it back from those. That kind of extreme thing where you're degraded, is because of the shame Right. There's so much shame involved and if you let shame run, you know, if you can't eat up the shame, it'll eat you up, that's right, there you go.
Speaker 1:If you can't eat up the shame, then it will eat you up. I mean in the Bible it says if you don't bring forth what's in you, it will destroy you. Well, totally that's it, that's kind of what I was going to say, yeah. So, faye, how does this all end up translating into the work that you do with people Like, how do you help people with this kind of radical alignment?
Speaker 2:It looks different, for most people haven't been through acute stuff the way I have right, most people. So it's more about being able to hold, it's about transmission, it's about holding an energetic frequency, it's about unconditional love and acceptance and then me being able to physically, spiritually and mentally track movement in people. And as I can track that movement in people, I can guide, I can facilitate and I can hold a higher frequency for that movement to basically get more organized. Basically get more organized, get with truth, get. I can see it and you know I have a variety of ways in which I facilitate and train people mentally, spiritually and physically to ultimately start a re-patterning, a reorganization for them to start to know what it feels like on the inside. They. You have to be able to experience it yourself, like you know. And so I have training modes where it's like you know and we go through.
Speaker 2:I go through various training modes, like if you've someone's new to my work, there's training. First thing I do is you know paths inward, paths inward. You got to do things physically. It's a you know. There are things like breath, work, sound. I sound is like the very first thing I start with. You have to, you have to be sounding, you have to start vibrating at your own frequency and enough like our enough hours put into that because you learn things through that. It's a dual thing. You are shaking out what's not yours through that frequency that's vibrating through your tissues. You are starting to separate. It's like if you vibrate, you know like the things that are not yours start to come to the surface through that vibration.
Speaker 1:Oh, so like the vibration of your own voice, like if you're toning right or humming Like I started humming last year, a healer was like you should be humming. So I'm like, okay, so the fact of humming actually shakes out like a gong, right, it shakes out any sounds that are not yours Because you fill yourself with your own vibration.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love it. I love it. Number one place to start. Also, it works dual, as you are also receiving through your ears, into your head, your own sound. So it's this listening, because you know, again, there's so many, so many layers to this, but your listening is everything, not just with your ears. But learning to listen is how you become empowered.
Speaker 2:Because, again, if you really want to step on that path, you have to be able to be willing to be taught. But guess what? Who's going to teach you? Not really another human. We're going to guide you, we guide each other, but we, the teachers, are the higher forces. Like you have to know how you're attuning and aligning yourself, that your frequency will help you attune, tune in and align with it. So, yeah, you know, it goes layer upon layer. Then it's the way you stand, it's the way you walk, it's the way that you think, it's the, it's using that radical responsibility. You know being able to start once you get strong enough. I wait until people are strong. You know, have a certain frequency where I can see that plugged into a certain point, then I'll pull out the big perspective shift, because once you take that on, that'll change everything.
Speaker 1:Right, so that that's something that you could notice in their body, for example.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can see it, you can see it and again listen. You can hear it, you can see. It's a felt sense when you know someone's ready.
Speaker 1:And guys, you know Faye can do all of this long distance, she can do this over, zoom Right. I mean, you've? I got a taste of it Last year. You took me through some protocols and it was all long distance. Actually, as a fan, I have never met in the flesh yet Yet. Not yet Seems unbelievable. I feel like I know you so well, but no, we have not actually met in the flesh. So, yeah, you don't have to be local to do this kind of work. It's just so rich, it's so deep and so subtle and so powerful. I really want people to know that you do this kind of embodied, embodied work this kind of embodied, embodied work?
Speaker 2:yep, that's what I do is take people into their own bodies and then, once you're plugged in, we pull it back out and put it out onto the planet that's amazing.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. Well, we're going to put all the information, obviously in the show notes for um, to make sure that people can reach you and know how to get in touch. Is there anything else? Any final thoughts that you want to share?
Speaker 2:It's been such a pleasure talking. You know I really enjoy. I can feel like time and space goes away when we have these, these times of communing on this level. So it feels very powerful and I just am very grateful, very grateful for you, claire, like how you've shown up in my life and what you, the gifts that you've given me and been a big part of how I am where I am right now.
Speaker 1:Thank you, that's. That means a lot to me. I said to Faye we took a little break. I said I feel high, I feel like I've gone into a higher zone and I really think that that's the power that Faye has. I think that's because of where she's resonating and I hope you guys can experience that. So it's been a really yeah, a huge pleasure, an honor and a joy to have you in the grace space. Thank you so much. Thank you. You've just heard one of the deepest truth tellings we've ever welcomed into this space. We've ever welcomed into this space.
Speaker 1:Faye's story is a mirror for those of us who have touched betrayal, who have navigated psychic overwhelm, been submerged by doubt about the memory of our own experiences, who have wondered if healing could ever really reach the roots. I think this conversation affirms that it can. It reminds us that our bodies are not broken. They are oracles revealing where love must return. It reminds us that sovereignty is not a destination, but a frequency that lives in the core of our being. As we divest ourselves of one illusion after another, we find it there where it's been all along. If this touched something in you, shared terrain, unspoken knowing, I invite you to share this episode with someone who is ready.
Speaker 1:Episode with someone who is ready. You'll find links to Faye's work in the show notes. Thank you for being here. Thank you for remembering with us. Until next time, walk in grace. Thank you for joining me in the grace space, where you're always in the right place. If you love this podcast, I invite you to subscribe to it and submit a review if you feel called to do so. Also, be sure to sign up for my newsletter using the link in the show notes. I look forward to spending this time with you again next week. Meanwhile, walk in grace.