The Concordia Publishing House Podcast

Tips for Christian Leaders and Coaches in the World of Youth Sports with Jim Pingel

Concordia Publishing House Season 1 Episode 12

The influence of the men and women who coach youth sports extends far beyond simply teaching the xs and os of the game. The hours spent at practice, at games, often in the school building gives these coaches a tremendous amount of influence in the lives of their players. How can Christian coaches balance the game scorecard with the life and faith scorecards they possess?

Joining us today to help provide answers to this question is Dr. Jim Pingel. Coach Pingel is the Dean of the School of Education at Concordia University Wisconsin. He has also served as a basketball and volleyball coach and an administrator and teacher at two different Lutheran high schools. The author of One Team One Spirit, Inspiration for the Christian Coach, he is a passionate advocate for the integration of biblical faith lessons throughout the curriculum and co-curriculars.

Elizabeth Pittman:

Welcome to the Concordia Publishing House Podcast where we consider everything in the light of Jesus Christ who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I'm your host, Elizabeth Pittman. The influence of the men and women who coach youth sports extends far beyond simply teaching the X's and O's of the game. The hours spent at practices, at games, often in the school building provides these coaches with a tremendous amount of access to an influence over the lives of their players. How can Christian coaches balance the game scorecard with the life and faith scorecards they possess? Joining us today to help provide some answers to this question is Dr. Jim Pingel. Coach Pingel is the dean of the School of Education at Concordia University Wisconsin.

Elizabeth Pittman:

He's also served as a basketball and volleyball coach, as well as an administrator and teacher at two different Lutheran high schools, the author of One Team One Spirit: Inspiration for the Christian Coach. He is a passionate advocate for the integration of biblical faith lessons throughout the curriculum and co-curriculars. Welcome, Coach Pingel.

Jim Pingel:

Well, hey, it's great to be with you. Thanks for having me.

Elizabeth Pittman:

I'm glad to have it. How are things up on the Concordia Wisconsin campus right now?

Jim Pingel:

You know what? We're doing great. We're preparing to welcome our undergrads back on campus here in a few weeks and our grad ed programs, and other programs have been doing really well. I think people want connection and to be together safely with all those protocols, but you know, when you're in the midst of a storm, it's nice to have a faith that binds you together and that gives you confidence and hope even in midst all the challenges and obstacles. We're ready for the school year to begin and excited to welcome people back.

Elizabeth Pittman:

It's great to hear. You think about back to school. I know for me, it's hard not to think about back to school in connection with back to sports. My three sons all play sports and it's this time of year that they're, oh, we've outgrown our soccer shoes. Oh, we need this so it's time for this. Practices are starting. It flashes back to memories I have a lifetime ago when I played grade school, junior high, a little bit of high school sports. But our junior high basketball coach, he was a patient man, a wonderful man to put up with us 13 and 14 year old girls, Mr. Judge, Dr. Jay, we called him. But he was so patient with us and he was a great coach on the court, but he was fun to be around. He got to know us all individually, knew how to keep us in line when we needed to.

Elizabeth Pittman:

It was a really great experience, but it's just a nice reminder that the influence of a coach lasts so far beyond what happens in a single season or a single game. What is it that makes coaches a powerful influence in their players' lives? Taking that a step further, what distinguishes the Christian coach?

Jim Pingel:

Yeah, I appreciate that question. Just hearing you talk about your coach, you lighten up just to bring that. Coaching is about relationships and connection and getting to know the uniqueness of every child of God, right? I mean, that's what a great Christian coach does. Then he or she also helps nurture and grow that faith through life and sport examples. Right? I think that's what's really, really special about the Christian coach. I'm one of those, I can tell you, I was not a good athlete. The only time I got to play, or as I used to say, the only time I got off the bench is when I fell off. But I still loved sports. I loved the team element. I can name and remember so many specific instances where coaches made a tremendous impact on me.

Jim Pingel:

Sometimes I learned some hard, negative lessons of what not to do, right. But more often than not, even though I wasn't a star athlete, I remember through these relationships life lessons and things that taught me. These coaches that taught me things, and persistence, and grit, and resiliency, and coming back from mistakes. I think the Christian coach on top of that has a unique opportunity to remind our students, hey, as great as these sports are, aren't we privileged to be able to play? I often told my athletes that no matter what level, elementary, middle school or high school, hey, you realize there's millions of boys and girls around the world who can't even play sports. They live in poverty or they're without parents. Talk about a basketball or a volleyball court, they've never even seen one. Okay.

Jim Pingel:

Here we are, we get a chance together to play and pray together. I think the Christian coach helps them see the big picture and what's really important in life. During this COVID era, oh my goodness. Do we need to hear that more than ever? Because it's shown us we're not in control. We've always known that, but maybe that's hit more profoundly than ever before. This Christian coach has, as I like to say, two scorecards to work on. As long as they're going to be out here, let's compete. Let's get better at our individual skills, at our teamwork. If they're going to have, keep score, we might as well try to get beyond the winning side. Let's celebrate that we're already winners in Christ. Let's not forget that because that's what really lasts. Our playing days won't always last, but the lessons we learned through sports and how we can think about that through our faith lens, they'll stick with us an entire lifetime. At least they have for me.

Elizabeth Pittman:

I think for most players, they do. I had the chance to talk with a college athlete a week or so ago. She's a senior in college and is playing her sport there, volleyball. I asked her about her coaches and what have you remembered? Without missing a beat, she said, "Well, my high school coach played favorites and that was uncomfortable." Then when it came to her college coach, she said, "I wish she would understand that one way of talking to us doesn't work for all of us." It seemed that the coach decided that it was a harsh way of talking. She said that doesn't motivate all of us, but it's interesting. Those are the things that stuck out to her quickly to remember. These coaches are operating not for themselves no matter what they think. They're really there for the kids. It's important for them to remember it's about the kids at the end of the day. Right?

Jim Pingel:

Absolutely. You just gave a great example of sometimes we learn lessons of what not to do. Those words really stick and can hurt. I like to just challenge coaches. Why do you want to coach? Why are you coaching? For some, maybe there was no one else around to do it. They were dragged in kicking and screaming. Others really just loved the sport. Other people really love to build things, take this group of individuals and see what they can become three months later. Others of us have a ministry perspective. I hope that's what the Christian coach always does, these two scorecards. Very rarely, you look at the professional leagues all the way down to elementary, first, second grade even. You mostly remember the relationships and the exchange and how that coach made you feel. Were you a precious child of God in his or her eye? Or were you just an X and an O out there or a number? When you talk the same way to all your athletes, you're not getting to know them individually, right?

Jim Pingel:

Some need to be pushed, some need to be pulled, some need a pat on the shoulder, some need a challenge, right? I think that's how we're made in God's image. I always remind people, God only made one of you in the entire world in human history. That coach should get to know you and know how unique and singular you are. Once that coach has done that, I don't care if you're a third grader or a seventh grader, a senior in high school or in college, that is a special bond. I think that's what Christian coaches do, they get to know the... Jesus was a sensitive savior. He could look right through people and he knew exactly what they needed. I know Jesus isn't coaching anywhere at any school that I know of, but he sure is leading us and equipping all of us Christian coaches to lead like he did and to be a servant leader and to really build special relationships.

Jim Pingel:

That's what we want to do then when you have that relationship, we have that opportunity to share the gospel with our student athletes and how special that is. That he uses someone like me flawed and unathletic or whatever the case may be to do that. I think it's important as we're heading back to school and back to sports to just remind ourselves, why do you want to coach? Really, and I think that gets back to the heart. When we know the why, we'll figure out the how and the when and those things. I encourage all of us to take a moment to really pray about that. God, what would you have me do with these athletes you've put into my care? Because that's really special, the impact that coaches can have.

Elizabeth Pittman:

It's a huge impact and it's absolutely the perfect place to start because you really, as you say, you get down to the why, the heart of the matter of why you're there. As you were talking, I couldn't help but think that it probably would benefit our coaches to know a little bit of psychology as they go into this. Right?

Jim Pingel:

Absolutely. Even if they don't want to know it, we're going to give it to them.

Elizabeth Pittman:

When it comes to kids and the psychology of kids. How does that come into play for our coaches?

Jim Pingel:

You know what's funny? We're talking about coaching in the COVID era, but I think these are universal things that no matter the time, right? Hopefully, we're praying for cures to COVID and that we get past this as a culture, but then there'll be something else that comes along. I think some of these things are obvious. Kids have been cooped up for a long time. They got cabin fever. They want to get out and run. I don't care if they're third graders or like my daughter, a sophomore in college, they're ready to spread their wings. Part of it is kids we're social creatures. God made us to commune with others. Right? They're missing that connection. Quite frankly, a lot of them need exercise, right? I mean, that's good for the brain, good for the body. I think it's a reminder anytime you put yourself in a team setting, that there's something bigger and greater than you yourself. It gets kids to think, right now, a lot of us, what do I need to do?

Jim Pingel:

When you're with a team, how can I help my teammates? What does the coach want me to do for the good of the team? Some certainly want to achieve, they have a gift and they want to excel and compete and they love their sport. Some love the spectacle of it. They love playing in front of fans. Some want to play because their parents really want them to play and they have great memories. I think that's the mindset of a lot of these kids right now is just getting out, connecting, competing, learning about themselves, feeling like they belong to something else. They know their mom and dad love them, or maybe they're unfortunately in a home where they're not feeling that and so they want to be around people that lift them up and encourage. I mean, do you know how many kids go weeks without hearing a kind or encouraging word? Sometimes they get that from a classmate or teammate on a soccer field or in a gym or whatever, wherever the case may be. They'll remember those words forever.

Jim Pingel:

I think the coach, the Christian coach needs to think of your student. This is what they're dealing with right now. When you have a kid that just wants to get out and connect and you're hollering at them the first day because they're not in shape. I think we need to [inaudible 00:13:26], why are you in coaching again? This is where your students are and obviously this is age and grade dependent too a little bit on recognizing where some of your student athletes would be. These are just things you maybe always should be aware of but I think they're even more acute and profound right now.

Elizabeth Pittman:

Well, I think the feedback point is a good one because more often than not, I think the feedback that comes from a coach is going to be internalized often more than that from the parents. I know if my son's soccer coach tells him something, he's going to listen more intently than, "Oh, mom, come on. You've said that a million times. I'm done listening to you." The feedback, it matters and whether it's positive or negative, it really does stick in their mind. They're not going to forget it easily.

Jim Pingel:

Absolutely. I can't tell you the number of dinner conversations where my son or daughter would come home and they'd be talking to my wife and I and say, yeah, but Mr. so-and-so said this or coach, she said this. I'm like, "I've been telling you that for five years." "No, you haven't, dad." You know? When you have someone who's not supposed to necessarily say I love you or I care for you or I want the best for you, when it's a coach outside of your home, that is really powerful. That's why I love Christian schools and organizations and programs because they affirm and rebuild or they strengthen what hopefully us Christian parents are teaching and wanting our kids to learn. I think you're spot on with that, that feedback.

Elizabeth Pittman:

I love having coaches. My kids all go to Lutheran schools and I love having the faculty and staff and coaches reinforce what we're teaching at home. My oldest is starting high school and he's stepping out for the soccer team. He loves soccer. It's been wonderful as a parent to see him back in his element now that he's been able to get some practices and do his thing. You can just see that he's happy and the confidence there. But early on, we got an email from the coach and he reminded us right off the bat that on this team, the priorities are in this order, God family, school, soccer. I appreciate that because it wasn't just words, we're seeing that lived out in everything that we're seeing from what they're doing at practices, how they're approaching, handling the COVID situation.

Elizabeth Pittman:

It's not just words, they're walking the walk alongside the kids. It's great to have those partners who are people who have influence in our kids' lives right there reinforcing what we're teaching and helping instill confidence in our kids. These coaches have such an ability to help these children grow into confident adults who know how to lead and work within teams.

Jim Pingel:

Absolutely. I was just at a wedding this past summer or pretty recently where the couple that got married, they had about 12 or 13 of their former coaches. They were even mentioned. Again, just that impact. Part of that is these coaches don't have to say nice things about you or connect. We as a Christian want them to, and by the way, I think that's an important point too with students and young people, be truthful. If they're being lazy on the field or the practice court, don't compliment them on their work ethic. You can still say, you're a special child of God and he loves you and I love you, but I'm not going to let you get away with that half effort. That's a life lesson, right? That's a stewardship thing. Hey, while you're here, let's work hard. We'll work hard. We'll play hard.

Jim Pingel:

I think coaches have that ability to be a little more objective, and they're not lawnmower parents and they're not helicopter. Lawnmower, they want the path for their kids smooth sailing, no obstacles, right? They do that out of love but in some cases, many cases, that's not the best thing for their child because they need to be disciplined or given tough love sometimes, or be encouraged. "Hey, you're not giving your best. I think you can give me more here." That's what a Christian coach can do too. That's why parents, part of the psychology of parents is to trust those coaches, to teach those life lessons. We as Christian coaches got to know, that's what a lot of parents are expecting. They want us to, yes, teach them the game and all that. But the game is going to be done, the season is going to be done in the short term. We want to know what our child is going to be when he or she is 25 and what kind of young man and young woman they can become. Again, we need to remember that as Christian coaches, what's the long game here?

Elizabeth Pittman:

The long game involves letting the kids fail when it's safe. I can imagine coaches on the sidelines, it's probably not unusual to see a player headed for a situation that if you were the coach you'd probably be saying, oh, don't do that. That's going to be bad. Don't do that. But you have to keep your mouth shut for a minute and then pull them off to the sideline when they get their chance at halftime or a substitution and say, okay, let's talk about that play. What went wrong? How could you have done that better? Help them learn how to deal with mistakes in a real world way? Correct?

Jim Pingel:

Absolutely. I think this is named Marlin and Nemo. Is that Nemo's dad? Marlin says to Dory I think in Finding Nemo, if you never let anything happen to your kids, nothing's ever going to happen to your kids. Just what you said, failure is not final. We as Christians should know that our sins are forgiven. Yeah, we don't want our student athletes to keep making the same mistake. Especially if it's something that they can develop a habit for, but failing and recovering from that, that's a wonderful life skill and encouraging them to get back up and persist and show some grit and tenacity. You know, I think today's generation is the reset generation. They might be playing a video game and if they didn't start out well, they'll just reset it and start anew instead of trying to fight through.

Jim Pingel:

I think too often we have a do-over country or nation or we just want to hit the... That's not real life. I mean, you might get down in a game. What are you going to do? Reset and say, hey, can we start it over? They're not going to do that. You just got to fight and do the best you can and challenge and respond positively when you have setbacks. That again, that is a life lesson and a Christian one that, hey, God doesn't promise that we Christians are going to have life any easier. In fact, Satan targets us, right? We're going to have loved ones pass from COVID. We're going to have loved ones who make mistakes or say cruel things. That's where forgiveness and grace and second chances come in, but we're going to have hardship, anxiety, depression. How do we respond to that? How do we encourage and nurture each other to bear through that and walk through the valley? We know Jesus promises he'll be by our side, but it's not going to be easy. Sports can encapsulate that, can it?

Elizabeth Pittman:

It's so much more than X's and O's, it really can be about, in many ways it's about the big picture, especially for the Christian coach. We've talked a little bit about the why's and the impact of coaches. What are some practical ways that our Christian coaches and even those who may not be the coach but are helping with sports teams and helping with our youth, how can we integrate faith, the faith scorecard into the everyday actions of the team?

Jim Pingel:

Yeah, I think that's the question, right? Again, we've been given this charge. I know some people might be listening and say, hey, the school just called me. I said, sure. Boy, I didn't know, am I going to ruin a kid for life here if I say the wrong thing? Not at all. In fact, the Bible tells us, God will give you the right words. If you're intentional and want to get better and work at it. Read the right devotional books, we've got one for... You can't coach without being authentic and being you. I think there's some factors we can consider here. We've already talked about really reflect on why you want to coach. I would just tell you, God puts you right where you are for this time for a reason, right? Just like Esther.

Jim Pingel:

You're right where you're supposed to be so embrace that and be confident in that and give it the best shot you can. I think you do want to, as a Christian coach, think of, am I spending enough time on both scorecards? For example, in this era of COVID, especially, I think coach's ability to be empathetic, to be grace-filled, to be compassionate, not to be tolerant of mistakes. You demand student athletes to get better and keep working on that left hand layup or that pass or beating their time in running. But again, I think coaches need to model, are you thinking of yourself all the time, coach? Who your starting five is going to be or how are you going to win and compete against that? Or are you thinking of others? Are you thinking about the spiritual wellbeing and growth of your students? I think part of that is to have a devotional thought or theme for the day and listen, I'm big on metaphors because they're really sticky and kids will go home and talk about them to their parents at dinner.

Jim Pingel:

For example, in this COVID era, you can talk about everybody is wearing a mask, right? Or supposed to be in many places. Hey coach, what masks are your kids or student athletes wearing? Are you really getting to know them? Does the kid that acts real tough, maybe she's really sensitive and you're not taking the time to get to know that. You know what? Maybe a kid needs a praise. He might act all tougher. She might act all tough and they just need a positive word of encouragement. What masks do you need to see through and break through? You can tell that to your teammates too, like, hey, what about your teammates? It gets them to think beyond themselves or disinfectant, right? At the end of practice, as you're having everyone rub their hands maybe and clean their hands or whatever because they've been touching balls and whatever, you can remind them about Jesus Christ and how he's washed away and cleansed us from their sins.

Jim Pingel:

I mean, there's just so many rich and to come up with some of your own that you can go to and talk about. Again, that takes a little bit of thinking. We hear about physical distancing. Let's make sure we don't become spiritually distant. Are you doing Bible studies and short devotionals with your athletes? Let's talk about quarantine, have you known anyone that has to be, we don't want to have that on our team. Not from the COVID, but let's make sure we get to know everybody on the team, even the managers and the people that are helping out. I think coming into practice with a theme of the day like that, or just analogy that you can make to real life teaching them that skill and just to think differently.

Jim Pingel:

Christians think differently, right? Our scripture says our minds and our hearts are to be transformed by the word of God. Quite frankly, faith comes from hearing the word. Christian coaches, if you're not sharing a Bible verse or some message from scripture or devotional, why aren't you doing that? We need to model that or your student athletes maybe can share that. These are just some really important things. You talk about safety. We want to be safe. Well, the most unsafest place is when we're far away from our Lord and savior. How are we doing with that? I think parents too, they want clarity. They want confidence. They want to know that you care about their whole child. Coaches, yes, from your drills to making sure people are safe and washing their hands and all those protocols that you want to ensure and give confidence in. I think if you miss the most important part, that opportunity to share the faith, and maybe you can tell some personal stories about how you're struggling and nervous with things. That's okay.

Jim Pingel:

But how God is calming your nerves. I'm in education so I get told all the time. I go to secular conferences. We want what's best for our kids. Hey, Christian coaches, I would ask you to ponder what's best for your student athletes. If you really care for them, I think you got to work on both scorecards and reaffirm with them, don't assume these kids know that Jesus Christ is Lord and savior and loves them and cares for them and made them uniquely. Those kinds of messages and building that relationship and especially with your athletes that maybe aren't as gifted as the other ones, to show them that they're just as valuable and we're all in the body of Christ. So important. I was always told, if the coach wasn't getting on me or hollering at me in a nice way, it mean he or she didn't really care about me. They ignored me.

Jim Pingel:

Are there other student athletes that you're ignoring or maybe favoring? You mentioned someone earlier that you show some favoritism. Hey, you got to play. Especially if you're in a varsity college level, you got to play your best players. That's a life lesson. We all get that. We all have different roles, but you still can love and care for each of them in a unique way. I think prayers that are specific for what's going on, metaphors or comparisons to our time really help. Just take a few minutes to write down a couple of things that you're dealing with in your own home life and make a faith application. Take out orders. What are you taking out with you? Are you doing more cook at home? Are you sharing, dude? I mean, there's just so many rich things and we don't know when COVID is going to be over.

Jim Pingel:

I think you could talk about delayed gratification with your athletes. Like things don't always come right away. We're impatient. Don't you guys want to quit wearing mask? Don't we wish everybody was healthy? Well, that's not how it works in our fallen world and sometimes God's plans, you know, in prayer, he says, yes, no, or I've got something better in mind for you. Those are really important messages that those kids will go home and tell their parents and mom will go, or dad will go to the cupboard and have a tear in his or her eye. They'll be like, that's why I'm sending my kid to that coach or that school or that organization. That's what they'll remember.

Elizabeth Pittman:

When the coaches take the time to get to know their students on a very personal level and have a unique relationship with each student and it's about the student athletes and not about the coach, the students are far more likely to listen and they're going to internalize that. COVID or not, it's going to help provide stability for those athletes no matter what is going on in the craziness of the world. That stability, especially for teens is a really helpful thing.

Jim Pingel:

Absolutely. That goes not just for these teens but their parents. They want a return to normalcy. They need a break some of them. They want to see their kids grow in social development. They want joy. They know there's a short window for their kids when they can play sports. You mentioned early, parents want feedback or others to help them. I think in our Christian faith, it really does take a congregation or a Christian village to really nurture and raise our children. The parents have the most important role in that, but we need others to help contribute to that. In education, there's a best practice called the gradual release of responsibility, right? You want them to learn how to do things on their own and that's what parents want too, right?

Jim Pingel:

We want our young men and women to grow and to be able to think and make decisions on their own and to have a Christian coach modeling that and affirming and backing up what their parents are trying to teach. So, so powerful. I guess too, we coach because we love people. I go back to those kind words. I told you I was the worst athlete. I had a coach at Concordia University Wisconsin whose name was Wayne Rasmussen who let me walk on. I'll never forget at a banquet one time. I wanted to coach and teach some days so he let me be on the team, but he was always trying to find a positive way. He got up one day and says, out of the five worst players I've ever coached, Jim Pingel is the best. I remember that statement makes me laugh and I knew he cared about me.

Jim Pingel:

I never played a minute at any varsity game for them. I didn't deserve to, I wasn't one of the better athletes, but I'll always remember that I was special to him and he treated me special. Again, are you treating every student athlete as a special child of God that someone's son or daughter and they're trusting you with them? What an opportunity. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Elizabeth Pittman:

It's an opportunity for all of us, not just the coaches among us. Before we wrap up, why don't you tell us just a quick bit about how coaches could use One Team, One Spirit, the book that you've written to help balance the scorecards?

Jim Pingel:

Yeah. Well, I admire Christian coaches and they have a tough job because in some ways they've got two scorecards they got to do well on, right? Where maybe other coaches just got to worry about winning and losing, which is tough enough. I wrote this book, it's a life labor of love. I loved coaching and I loved making an impact on my student athletes. There's nothing better than 10, 20 years later to still get a note from them on their birthday or, hey, I remember something you said and I'm saying it now to my kids, or whatever. I wrote this book to be a resource for Christian coaches maybe that aren't as comfortable sharing like, oh boy, I'm not this big Saint. I go to church or I love the Lord, but I don't always feel comfortable.

Jim Pingel:

I wanted to give them devotions, stories, tools that they could either read and share in their own words. I actually put these devotions together where it feeds their soul and God's word works on their heart and mind. But then I actually prescribed or wrote out devotions that they could read or have their student athletes read depending on how old they are to the team. Because when I looked out there, I really saw a lot of coaching devotionals that were either very, very generic or simplistic. I'm not saying mine is the be-all end-all, but I really wanted some depth. I used a lot of metaphors and real life examples to connect that I think a lot of student athletes or our young folks are dealing with. It's for the coach. It's for the Christian parent who loves sports. It's even for the Christian athlete that would just like to have some things be a little bit more sticky in their brain. I'm really proud of it. It's been fun to go around the country talking about it to a lot of perspective coaches and families that love sports and love their Lord.

Elizabeth Pittman:

It's a neat book and we'll drop a link to it in the show notes. Anyone who wants to learn more about that can do that or you can head over to cph.org and search One Team, One Spirit. Coach Pingel, this was fun.

Jim Pingel:

Hey, thank you for the opportunity and honor. Keep up the great work that you all are doing. I really, really appreciate what you do.

Elizabeth Pittman:

We appreciate what you're doing as you're training up the next generation of teachers and to all of our listeners, thanks for being with us today. We'll catch you next time. Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Concordia Publishing House Podcast. I pray that this time was valuable to your walk with Christ. We'd love to connect with listeners on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @ConcordiaPub. Visit cph.org for more resources to grow deeper in the gospel.

 

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