Hustle Her
Hustle Her
Hustle Her - 50th - Part 1
As the curtains rose at the Earl Cameron Theater, the air was electric with the anticipation of reconnecting with my powerhouse panel of women entrepreneurs. It felt like only yesterday that Maxanne Anderson, Jasmine DeSilva, Tyka Edness , DeVika Bourne, and Chelsea Warren had taken their first steps into the spotlight on the Hustle Her stage. Since then, they've soared, taking their businesses to new heights and inspiring a wave of up-and-comers with their authentic tales and leadership savvy. We crack open the book of their journeys, leafing through chapters of vulnerability, triumph, and the undeniable impact that a personal narrative can have in steering others toward their own entrepreneurial stars.
Ever wondered how love can not just survive but thrive in the entrepreneur's rollercoaster world? I peel back the curtains on a 16-year marriage odyssey, sharing nuggets of wisdom on cultivating a partnership that stands resilient amidst the whirlwind of business-building. Our conversation weaves through the intimate dance of balancing personal relationships with professional goals, revealing how mutual understanding and a little dedicated time can strengthen bonds. The heart of this chapter lies in the joy and complexity of intertwining lives and ambitions, underscoring the art of sustaining passion and commitment both at home and in the marketplace.
Bringing it home, we toast to the power of enduring friendships and the kindred spirits that accompany us along our paths. I share tales from my own circle, a bond that has outlasted the test of time, distance, and the ebb and flow of adulthood. With my co-host chiming in on the essence of loyalty and the family we choose, we reflect on the influential figures who've shaped our trajectories and the importance of lifting as we climb. The episode wraps with a collective call to action: to embolden one another, celebrate the milestones, and cultivate a legacy of empowerment that echoes through generations of hustlers to come. Join us as we honor the relationships that fuel our fires and the shared victories that light up our world.
It's time for hustle her podcast. I'm your host, deshae Keynes. Hustle her is all about inspiring women through real life experiences that have helped to mold and develop not only me but my guests into the entrepreneurs and leaders we are today. If you're an enterprising woman determined to succeed and looking for a bit of motivation, a bit of tough love and some actionable takeaways to be the best you girl, you are in the right place. Hey guys, and welcome back to hustle her podcast, as always. Thank you guys so much for spending some time with me today.
Speaker 1:Today is an amazing day, and it's an amazing day because this is our 50th live recording and I'm sitting here, as you can tell, not in my living room, but we are in the Earl Cameron theater in city hall, and I'm so excited for you guys to be joining me today. As always, big shout out to our season sponsors. Welcome to the jungle by Tina Hojcevic. Thank you so much for sponsoring this season of hustle her podcast. As always, guys, make sure you head over to the website hustleherpodcastcom for you to be able to sign up to be a VIP guest. You also get access to all the show notes and if you sign up to be a VIP guest, you can also get some of our episodes a little bit before everyone else. Also, make sure you head over to YouTube and if you're watching right now on YouTube, hit the subscribe button, but also make sure you like this episode and tell us what you think. So, without further ado, our 50th episode is going to be a live reunion episode with some of my previous guests, so, without further ado.
Speaker 1:We have Maxanne Anderson. All right, okay. Next we have Jasmine De Silva.
Speaker 4:All right.
Speaker 1:Next we have Tika Adniss All right.
Speaker 4:Next we have.
Speaker 1:Tavika Boar. And then, last but certainly not least, the amazing Chelsea Warren.
Speaker 4:All right.
Speaker 1:Welcome ladies.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for joining us here today.
Speaker 1:It is a little warm. I'm so sorry Studio lights were not playing around, so just remind everyone of your titles and what you currently do. We'll start right here with you. You're a rush of fool.
Speaker 6:I am a commercial director at Artex Capital.
Speaker 1:Solutions Amazing. Also, I don't know if you guys noticed, but Jasmine has had a promotion since she was on our podcast Tika A professional dreamer.
Speaker 3:It's a great idea of 8 and 8.
Speaker 5:I am the senior vice president of non-live operations.
Speaker 1:Also another promotion since being on our podcast.
Speaker 4:Alright and Chels. I'm the founder of Optimon Body, the modern athleisure brand, as well as a brand manager and a creative director.
Speaker 1:So Jasmine was our first video podcast that we did and, just to let you know, I told Jess she was going to be on the podcast and she just showed up, rocked up and was like sure, let's go, let's do it.
Speaker 6:Since the podcast, jasmine, tell me what some of the feedback that you've gotten it's not much different from what normally when people hear me talk or people appreciate my vulnerability, authenticity, and it was good to hear that people connected with a lot of the story, especially because I did just rock out. But it's a vulnerable place, so it's great to hear that not only from that place speaking to others, but to see how it's evolved and how it grew and why it went viral. I was so confused but I was glad to see everyone else's did as well.
Speaker 1:Chels, what about you?
Speaker 4:I feel like the same. I feel like the transparency that I showcased on the podcast. And then we talked about storefront and then, a few years later, I'm having my storefront in Washington Mon. So overall I feel like it was awesome to see. And then I'm also young and moving back to Bermuda, and so it was good for the other people to see a young entrepreneur still pursuing their dreams despite of adversity.
Speaker 1:And so I'm just going to say on Max, because it's just difficult to say anything. So our Max was our number one viewed episode ever on the podcast. So what's been the feedback for you, superstar?
Speaker 3:It's actually very positive. I love that people associate us together. So they say, oh, that's your niece, that's just the podcast, right? I said yes, and they just love your podcast, shay. They say it's something they wish they had years ago, but they appreciate it. They love seeing the different women and that you're doing a phenomenal job, so keep it up.
Speaker 1:And DeVika. For those of you who don't know, devika's episode had the most engagement within the first 24 hours of any episode we've ever done, especially on Instagram. So big shout out to you, DeVika. You penetrate it well. So what has it been like for you post being on the podcast.
Speaker 5:So you know what's the most interesting when I go places and people are staring at me for a little while and I'm like, do I know them? And then they say, oh, I saw your podcast, it was so good. No, but I think just having the feedback on being authentic and just really being relatable in a leadership capacity was refreshing because, as you know, when I left there, I was like did I say anything? That's going to resonate.
Speaker 1:Yes, OK. And then Tika, we had a very different style of episode because we wanted to showcase some of your amazing finds at 8 and 8. So tell us how the post podcast has been for you.
Speaker 2:I think it's just been a stroke on the canvas, honestly Like the same. Like I saw your episode, I'm like like you spent 20, 30, 40 minutes looking at me like what, yeah, I had a, like the gratitude was on a million, but again, I told you then and I'll tell you again amongst greatness, that's what happens, that's a product of that. So for me it's just been really, really heartwarming.
Speaker 1:Great, amazing, yeah. So, guys, what we're going to do today for those of you also in the audience we're going to go through some of the most common topics that have come out on the podcast, and so we're going to dive right in, as I usually say. So, all of you have these amazing journeys through your careers, right? Everyone's career has been different, but some of the commonalities that kind of came out from all of your episodes was your approach to your family life and relationships and that tricky word balance right. So how has your journey in your career all of the careers and we'll start with you, auntie how has that been? How has that your career affected your personal relationships or your approach to your relationships?
Speaker 3:Personal relationships. Well, being a mom, starting out as a young lawyer, that was a bit difficult because you always think am I giving my child enough? And being a wife, am I giving my husband enough? And family too, am I giving my friends and my family enough? Because the long hours, lawyers, billable hours, right, and the firms just wonder billable hours, billable hours. So that was very difficult at the beginning. But as you grow, I think, mature and get more confident in yourself, your priorities start to change and you realize that you know what I have to put my family first, regardless. You know what the job might think or what a client might think. And so now, looking back, Maxi and I have conversations all the time. Our family were very supportive. So Rain and I used to have to do work trips all the time and Maxi would go with her go-up pal or she would go with her aunt or uncle, and people were very supportive, right. So it takes a village. So my village helped me in my profession, definitely.
Speaker 6:Definitely, jeff. I would echo a lot of what Maxi and I said. I think what was an unexpected challenge in being a mom and a career and having the mental load and the ability to try to juggle the mental load of several things. So you're not just having the mental load of being a mom, you're having the mental load of your career, the mental load of trying to remember that you're a wife. That also needs intention, and so, while I did expect the logistical shuffle that it takes, it was the draining of the mental load that I didn't realize was going to affect me in the way that it did. But in the same way, I'm at a point and at a level.
Speaker 6:My daughter is a non-negotiable. I mean we talked about it on the podcast. I quit a job and not renewed a contract before I even started it, because the way that they were laying out the terms of engagement, it looked like the way that I would be able to see my daughter and the things. I literally talked about sports day. I said so am I able to go to sports day? And they're like no, oh well, that was the breaking point for me. I mean, if I can't, I got to show up for her and that's important to her, and so I am the type I will work all night, but what's a priority to her is a priority for me, and what she's going to know is I'm going to show up.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that. I think for me with my journey, it's more fun and blessing in people who are family and the people who are not blood related that become your family, ie your friends, who meet you at every layer. You pull back To me. That's the blessing because, okay, you were this and now you're this. And for them to be like, yep, and you can be that, I can still love you and I can still support you. That is what gives me the chills.
Speaker 2:It's like to allow me to be who I'm meant to be and to love me at every stage is, I think, relationship, because you know, in entrepreneurship you go under a rock a little bit. Yeah, it's not even just about like the coins and the dollars, like who you're becoming to be, to have the thing that you want, so that I can't do dinner date sometimes. Sometimes you're like, okay, I lost a friend and they're like in the audience, like, so it's like okay. Yeah, relationships change, but it's the way that people love you when they change. I think it's the beautiful part of my journey, yeah.
Speaker 5:I have to go back to the village because, honestly, nothing that I've accomplished today would be possible with all my village, I mean from my husband, my mom, my grandmother I mean my 80 year old grandmother right, so kind of filling in for when I need support with the children. I would not be able to do this without that support and I think I reflect on that so often because it's I mean, it's just something that you kind of never really think about when you're kind of going into these situations and when my mom just says look, just call whatever you need, I'm there, right. My husband, you know he just pulls in. My sister, you know the there right to offer the support when I can't do it, and the guilt is real right. That is a very real emotion, but it's so warming to know that at any time I have that support and I think that's the biggest kind of, that's the most impactful thing for me at this stage in my life.
Speaker 4:Okay, rachel. So for me, I think in this part of my life I've had to pull the reins back because being an entrepreneur is just like a 24 hour thing job, 24 hour job. When it comes to my family, we are all busy. So I know my mom and I sometimes we chuckle because it's three o'clock in the morning. She's up, I'm up and we're just working together.
Speaker 4:But overall, like right now, where I'm at, life is very precious and although we've been there for each other, never want we're not here for a long time A lot of things are very temporary.
Speaker 4:So now what I try to do is definitely a lot certain time for family time. Or tell my mama like we're not going to do any work, like I was going to put a desk in my room and I'm like mom, no, we're not going to do that. But from young you know like it takes a village and that's the biggest thing for me. When it comes to my friends, my family, like they have been with me through the entire journey and no matter what I'm doing, they're going to be there. Whether it's lifting the bags, whether it's them supporting video, taping what I'm doing, whatever it is, they've been there. So that's just been my journey and I'm learning to prioritize, because sometimes when we talk about balance, it's just like sometimes I'm like there's not enough hours in a day. But you know, for me I just try to prioritize the things that matter and, like I said, life is precious.
Speaker 1:So totally understand. So I guess, just quick, I guess we have two lovely ladies on the stage who are celebrating 15 years of marriage this year Jasmine and Nemeek. So for either of you and whoever wants to go first, like I know, both of you have incredible jobs right, and you know I say this on the podcast all the time these big jobs, these big roles and global companies how do you sustain marriage for 15 and 16 years with these amazing jobs and responsibilities that you have? How does that even work?
Speaker 5:So Jasmine and I talk about this a lot right, because we really do kind of sit there and say our husbands are just rock solid, right For what they have to endure what we.
Speaker 6:that is not that fair.
Speaker 5:No, I think my secret sauce is that Mark and I really communicate so openly with each other and we have like there's no who's bar, right. So whatever's bothering you, we talk about it. If it's too much, if it's too heavy, we say and we really just support each other right. There's nothing better than having a partner who supports you fully and thoroughly in every single way. And again, I talk about the village, but of course Mark plays is a centerpiece in that village and, yeah, I don't think we would be where we are if we didn't have a very solid communication style. We prioritize each other. I talked about that on my podcast as well. I mean your podcast. But my episode.
Speaker 5:But no, we prioritize each other and we really just take time for one another and love each other. I mean I really I can't express how deep that is right. I mean there are just unspoken things about our connection that go without saying and we kind of make it work. So 16 years is great. I'm really proud of us.
Speaker 6:So you know, I'm very transparent and authentic when I like to say I'm a child bride and I should stop saying it because it sounds so inappropriate Absolutely, but I got engaged at 22, and I was married at 24. And so when you ask about sustaining a marriage, when Chuck and I got married, we had no idea what we were doing. We had zero idea what we were getting ourselves into. And just because you get married doesn't mean you know how to be or you are a wife, or you are a husband. So what we had to realize is that the foundation with which we got married, which was I love you so much, you don't this flimsy emotion that you don't feel constantly. You like you lose in an honeymoon, like it's gone Right. It's flimsy and nobody prepares you for the fact that a sustaining, long-term relationship has to be built on something far more solid. And so what we've had to do and I would the credit I have, and I thank God for this we have some core characteristics that I believe sustained us and helped us.
Speaker 6:I don't shy away from work, I have a great work ethic and I am committed and I am disciplined. I don't find it hard, like I tell people at the time. If you can't get up and be good to the GM, why are you getting married? Because if you struggle with discipline and commitment, that's literally what it takes. And in the case of my husband, chocolate is the epitome of grace and mercy and kindness personify. He is very, he finds it easy to be selfless, which is good, because those, those are. Bible says you know, women, submit to your husband. It says that you know husband should love their wives the way the Christ loved the church and he died for the church. So chocolate has to die to me daily and I hate that for him, but, but.
Speaker 6:But in reality, because we had those gifts and characteristics and they were real and they came to us naturally to come in together as a union, we realized that, okay, you have this strength, I have this strength, I have to learn to talk and be. You know what I mean. He has to learn that we ain't given up right. And I think now and it has taken us years Now we realize that the commitment is to the union, the commitment is to us, last us together first, individually second, and that self sacrifice can be so beautiful if you have two willing partners willing to put the other. And so when you see me, look at him, believe Google Gaga eyes.
Speaker 6:It's not because I love him, it's because I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful. Yeah, like you've seen the ugliest part of me. I've heard you worse than any. Your spouse were to you more than anybody else will, and so I'm so grateful that just do her. I'm so, I'm so and so that that's, that's the sustaining. I think I'm ready for the next 15, 20, 50. But I didn't. But I got married, wasn't there, but here and now, this is this good.
Speaker 1:Not to put me and Chelsea's business out there, but as the two non married people, I forgot.
Speaker 4:I forgot I was on the podcast. I was listening, like, like I forgot I was on the stage.
Speaker 1:So, as an entrepreneur and I'm sorry, dad, mom, maybe one day we'll see my grandma is probably the most upset. It's okay, chelsea is a budding entrepreneur, that is. You know. Like you said, being an entrepreneur is a 24 hour job. Like, how do you do that? And balance possibly dating, if you are the type of thing Like how does that work? Like, how do you get someone who understands that?
Speaker 4:I'm recorded right Because I so I was in a relationship while I am. It's hard right now, it's complicated right now it's complicated, but so I actually I've been in a relationship for seven years while I was. Whatever, I am sorry if you're watching this, if you're watching this, you know what we're going to. You understand what we're going to do right now. So for me it's just, it has been challenging because, well, I'm going to talk as if you're my man. Okay, so dating someone like for me, I appreciate the person who I was dating because he was also an entrepreneur as well. So we understood the hustle, we understood the grind and I feel like for me it is challenging because sometimes you do have to say, like on Tuesdays, ferns down, we have to do a date night, and I think that's kind of probably where we went wrong in our relationship. I'm not putting our business out there, I'm just saying, but that's probably what we went wrong in regards to.
Speaker 4:Sometimes you do have to prioritize relationship, but it's hard, like when you're young and you're trying to get it and you're like focused on the end goal. Because one thing about guys I'm not an expert like Jasmine, but I'm just I just feel like for men when they have a goal or something they're trying to achieve. No one is getting in the way of that, and I feel like as women, we kind of have to have that same drive. So that's just where I am right now. That's where I am right now with all of my circumstances. I feel like sometimes I put that first, when I should put you know God first and then you know my commitment to my girls and make sure that when I'm coming and I'm going to be engaged or have been in a marriage, that I actually am bringing something solid to the table that I can stand on my own. So for me, that's where I am right now dating. I'm not even right now dating, I'm just focusing on me right now and building me again.
Speaker 1:So we speak about breaking this glass ceiling, right, and we feel like and I think a lot of us have talked about this before and you know, constantly, as women, we've kind of always come into environments where, first in this and we're, you know, breaking glass ceilings for the people, the next generation that's coming about. How do we stop from having the next generation of women and until I start with you, from having to break that glass ceiling again so we're not hearing the first female senior this or that or the other? What do you think some things we can do to stop that from happening?
Speaker 3:Oh my goodness, if it only depended on us, then you know there would be no more glass ceilings for us. But it's not just us, right, there are others involved, and so it's difficult, you know, you think you're in 2020, whatever, and certain things won't apply. It does apply. We've only come thus far. Right, we still have a long way to go, but if we work together, we can do a lot more. I think, if we support each other, and it starts by just you know little small things buying my girl's tracksuit, you know, you know just little small things. Supporting each other. Mentor, young people, our young people, make sure that when they come along, there are things that they know that they're seeing, so that when they get in certain situations and offices or in a hard situation, they know how to react. Yeah, tika, what about you?
Speaker 2:I come back to just momentum. I'm going to piggyback on what this beautiful lady has talked about in just making the momentum a normalcy. So the momentum you talked about in tracksuit or this type of environment, this form, you know, I go back to, even like the Roger Bannister, that whole theory. No one could run a four minute mile until he did, and then what happened is everyone did it after that. So it's almost this commitment to the thing that we think we can't do that, if we can release that and relinquish that and make that a normalcy, that Well the ceiling is not even a ceiling, it's only a ceiling because your perspective is at the ceiling that we can normalize being a beast normalize Not, you know, not big, how long to be a you know the first magistrate Sorry, how do you say it? The worship though, because I couldn't even get it, couldn't even get it right.
Speaker 1:Right, right, that waship full.
Speaker 2:The worship. I'm gonna go with you and we are, and we are right, um, but that that in ten years time, five years, that that's a normalcy. It's not something that we're like, you know, even I just say as a problem medium woman, you know, when we make it on the big stage, it's like, oh my god, this happened, like why can't we have a team that makes it big? It's like did the god say blast, blast, blast, bermuda? No, not you like. No, it's what we commit to, right. So it's like knowing that it's possible, seeing it before it happens, the visual visualization piece, and again just going back to making it a normalcy, that is possible for us, yeah anybody else want to comment on the break in the glass ceiling before we jump on I?
Speaker 4:Just think similarly, like, like they said, I'm sending the ladder back down because I'm coming from a perspective of you. Ladies are not ill, but I'm really young, the young. I Actually had women who actually poured into me. So when people see this result and I'm still striving to be better and who I am but I've had women who since day one my mom, women in school pour into me. Even when I was in America, how I kind of got into my brand, I had a Lady who became like a mom to me out there. She had a boutique. She just took me under her ring and poured into me. She sent the ladder down for me and Literally she taught me everything and it was no charge. She didn't charge me, was just she wanted to see me ran.
Speaker 4:And so for me, when I come back home, or the women that I'm around, I want to see them being too. So it's just like a trickle Donna, fast. So like living in Bermuda, I'm the women that I'm around. That's what we do. You know, if I see opportunity for you, I'm calling you on, speaking your name in rooms, different things like that, and so that just for me, is just sending the letter back down and pouring into each other and it's literally, it's a. It's a. It's different, especially being an entrepreneur, because it's kind of endless. I don't really have anyone telling me what to do. So if you have a clothing boutique or something like that, then I can. If you have a clothing boutique, then you know I'm also a free game to give you if nobody over my shoulder telling me I can, cannot.
Speaker 1:This thing about having women in your life, right, and one of the main reasons why I wanted to create the podcast, because I'm surrounded by amazing women, right, and I think not a lot of other people know about all the amazing women that are in each other's lives and all the things that we kind of do, but as we get older, we kind of struggle some time to maintain some of those relationships.
Speaker 1:So, a jazz will come to you. How do you cultivate your friendships as an adult? And what would you send to Pronga? So I apologize, but how would you say? What would you say is why your circle is so important to you?
Speaker 6:Okay, I Will do a disclaimer. I have a gift of cultivation of relationships.
Speaker 4:I believe that yes.
Speaker 6:So it comes very easy to me. It is literally my job and so, and, but I think that was that was first built at through friendships. I've always been a girl's girl. I love women, I Love, I love seeing women succeed, I love seeing them happy, I love, I love women in a point that sometimes could be a little shade, but I had to.
Speaker 6:But I'm very intentional about my friendships and especially Getting married young. I didn't, I wasn't narrowly focused to the point where I left my friends behind, but they were all doing things I wasn't doing. I was now trying to figure out how to cook and then decided I wasn't going to, or I was, you know, getting, I was having a baby and they were traveling the world. But it's just, it's intentionality. The way you approach a friendship should be the same way you approach your partnership should be the same way you approach a child, right? So it's it's all about. I have a standing lunch with you. This is on the calendar and we're going to try not to miss this, right? Even if I pick up my phone and I will do this during the day, I will spend 15 minutes and I will message hi, love, you mean it? Bye, hi. I was just thinking about you. Okay, bye, I would do it too. And then I the phone goes down, you're on the problem, the answer me, but I just needed you to know I was thinking about you and so I'm very intentional about that. I want my friends to know that I love them, that they mean a lot to me and, specifically, having friends in your life that are where you are in the, in the, in the phase that you are in your life, I think we don't talk about breaking up with friends enough and we don't talk about the evolution of friendships, and there were friends that cannot be with you in the phase of life that you are currently living, and nobody says it's okay to let them go.
Speaker 6:I hate the song no new friends. I love new friends. I will. You want to be my friend Because, as a married woman, I needed married friends and as a career woman, I need you. Shay, check me, just you know. So that is how I do it and that is why they're so important to me, because, just as my marriage is important to my and has has made me successful, those people are the reason I'm still married my married friends and and my mommy friends and my career friends, and so I cultivate things and friendships that are for the phase that I'm in my life, and I don't mind letting go of a friendship If it doesn't serve me in that moment it's sad, but I'm going to make a new one.
Speaker 1:So who do you lean on in your friendship circle? So I know on the podcast I actually who I actually could, who are closest friends, was like my husband, so I'll sign, you know that one. Now, who do you?
Speaker 5:lean on. So I make my friends tired because I'm always busy, I always have something going on and I mean they physically say this guy, you made me tired. It's always something in one. But they've been with me since 12. Right, and so I don't have a wide circle of friends I can say you know, I have a very small group of friends that know that I will prioritize them at the drop of a dime if I need to be there for them.
Speaker 5:Right, and likewise right, we're all very busy, unlike you. You know, my friends and I are all in kind of very different spaces. You know, some have older children, few have younger children in the same age as me. But we all come together on the basis of our friendship, right, we love each other and so we show up for each other, we support one another and I think that that helps me. I can't do the known I am the new France person because that doors require a lot of work in the very beginning and I can't spread myself any more thin than what I already am, right. So I'm very thankful for the, for the network that I have right now with the group of friends that I do have.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And then auntie, obviously you've been in my life for a long time. All of our Maxine's friends are my aunties too. So how about you? Who do you lean on when it comes to your friends?
Speaker 3:I'm kind of a new new friend. Mind you, I don't have a problem making new friends because I love people. But loyalty means a lot to me, right? And I think sometimes we have to protect ourselves from others who do not have our best interests at heart. And that is very important, especially depending on, sometimes, your position, your job right. So my friends may not hear from me every day. They know I was going to say something next year and say they know.
Speaker 3:I love them dearly and the same goes for the kids. Even if I'm not their go appearance right, most of my friends I'm go appearance for their kids and even the ones that I'm not, they're still my go children. You know they might not tell me stand up in church, but I'm the go mom right. And if anything happens to those friends I'm going to fight whoever to get those kids Because you know that's my friend. I'm going to make sure that they are taken care of. The parents are taken care of, the kids are taken care of. Friendship is a very serious thing?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so, guys, we just have to take a quick break. Dj LA is just going to play us a quick song and then we're going to come right back. Give us two minutes. Okay, everybody set the timer for three, three, two.
