Intentional Coaching

One size does not fit all when helping the people you lead achieve their greatest potential. However it's easy for leaders to fall into the trap of doing what's comfortable. Eric provides an actionable approach to tuning into each individual on your team to coach in a personal, effective way.

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[0:00] When it comes to your people, you're playing chess, you're not playing cheque.
And I watches through my playing days when I was a football still in NFL college even but then when I got in the business I started eating.
At the beach I would say on two sides I saw the danger of coaching everybody the same way and usually when a leader with coach everybody is saying hey.

[0:23] It's because it was the most comfortable for the leader. Unleashing your best in life and work,
This is the game changers with Eric Bulls and host Dale Dixon being intentional about who and what your coaching we're talking about
Developing people on the game changers podcast today unleashing your best in life and work with Eric Bowls Eric great to see you today,
Alright, see you my friend,
Coaching people developing people as part of this lead with purpose,
You said something that really caught my attention and that's the intentionality.
I would say let's bring our listeners up to speed on what that looks like we're not just coaching everybody but getting intentional.
Yeah, there's a,
Concert that makes complete sense but in in the way that really resonated the way I think.

[1:36] When it comes to your people you're playing chess you're not playing checkers.
And I watch this during my playing days when I was when I was playing football still in NFL college even but then when I got in the business I saw it even clear it they I would say I'm two sides I saw the danger,
Of coaching everybody the same way and usually when a leader with coach everybody is same way,
To bring out the best.
Doesn't need a lot of praise and recognition. Guess what? There are people weren't gonna get a lot of praise and recognition
So much of what the people receiving was based on the preferences of the leader themselves.

[2:31] The shift is when a leader sits down in really thinks about the needs of those that they actually lead not just their wants but what their needs and how do you coach them to that,
That's the difference between chess and checkers like each person,
It's wired differently. And also I would say.

[2:56] I think I heard John Maxwell say really good when he said he goes you nurture everybody but you only develop a few.
And when people hear that they,
But it's not it's when leaders recognize you only have a certain amount of time that that's real like you there's a limited amount of time that you have,
Intentional decisive how do I maximize or multiply the impact of coaching.
One of the ways you do it is, you know, you, who are those select few that you know, if you pour into and develop?
They have the abilities to influence and impact others as well. There's the rule where everybody on the team feels like they're connected in in appreciating, careful by the leader.
But everybody doesn't,
Opportunity.

[3:59] The the backup quarterback. I go to third screen quarterback. Does not get the same amount of reps. This is the starting quarterback.
No that just doesn't make any sense if we did and so now does the backup or the third string quarter have an opportunity to do that yeah but the opponent's going to be different it's gonna come in a different place why because the starting quarterback,
The consequences of that starting quarterback playing well or not playing well? In some cases, has a greater influence.

[4:27] Did something else. So, this isn't a exclusionary thing. It's just we have to be intentional. And so for when I ask a leader who's like, hey, how'd my team and
I was like, hey, how do you use each one of your teammate? How do you use your one on ones?
How do you make sure that you get a return on each one of those? I mean, going into a meeting as a leader trying to coach someone and you sit down in the first thing you just ask, it's also tell me how you're doing and you haven't thought any deeper than that.
That's that's almost a way. So, when I talk about being intentional, it's just being very.

[4:59] Intentional the time in in the coaching opportunities you're gonna get different people on your team.

[5:07] As we started this conversation my my mind immediately went to,
Efficiency and you have a leader who has limited time and they feel an obligation to coach.
Do like they do in so many other areas of life create a system,
We're gonna follow these steps along the way in in coaching people. So, I love this approach. That you're laying out for us. Let's
Dive into the idea of oh three you mentioned it so a one on one at find him to be an amazing,
Way to grow develop people but what what does that optimal,
Oh three look like that person to person.
We've identified we we're gonna coach this person.

[6:05] I would say especially early on,
Dale I I do wanna say again remember this is chestnut checkers.
And so because it's chess and not checkers there's certain things we need to find out about our people and not just take for granted like there's ways that we can find out how do our people best learn,
And and people like okay how do they best learn why why don't you ask them like ask them a question such as you know when did you learn the most
You know, what were you doing? And what way did you learn them? Where did you grow the most in your in your past or these are just conversations you can even have in one on one.
And when they begin to talk about it, you start finding out for some people, hey, I learned the most when I was writing shotgun. I learned the most when I was given all this opportunity. I learned the most when I knew specifically step by step what to do. What that's happening for the one coaching?
They're receiving information. Now, it seems like it takes a while. No, it doesn't. It saves you time.
It collapses a whole lot of time when you have that kind of information and what's critical is anytime you're on a 101 and I hate to be so prescriptive about it.
But sometimes as coaches we don't write down what's going on so if you watch the very best coaches in the NFL every single one of them.

[7:26] Have a pin,
They're taking notes after every play why cuz they're ensuring what happened the last time we ran this and what happened the next time we run when they have one on one
You will notice there's a pin and a pat. However, they're getting it. They're capturing it. Why? Because we wanna make sure what we talked about the last time is brought up again,
I will say they were so many coaches who will go into the second meeting, third meeting, fourth meeting, and not even come back to what we talked about in the last meeting.

[7:55] And so the best way to have an agenda for your next meeting
Is what did you talk about about the last meeting what did you agree to at the last minute and what did you expect to see progress on in the next meeting
You created development and growth, right? People talking about it like it's so complicated. No, we just stay,
Constant group. The last time come the next one they do it again. Now, I'm not seeing it needs to be, you know, like
So regimented that there's no room for flexibility. No, we're just saying you at least you know,
Directionally that there's something systematic you're following that creates consistency I will also say deal
Which is important is there's some people set up a solid time. This is a time that we're gonna have our one on one. We're gonna get my offer. We're gonna.
I encourage a lot of leaders, man. Sometimes,
Let that let that be a walk. Let them come with you somewhere. Like do your one on one while you're active. Don't always do your one on one. We have to find time.
To be able to pull out again and so there's many ways to get it done. You just gotta make sure it's flexible. It's just the time you are together making intentional. We're going to lunch but it's gonna be intentional.
We're going for a walk over here but it's gonna be we're driving on a commute to go here but it's gonna be intentional.

[9:19] Let's talk about the relational aspect of this because you've touched on it.

[9:25] When you take the time to.
Tell me about a time in your life where you learn something that really stuck. What was that like? What happened there? That's an opportunity to grow on the relational side and those who are being coached are gonna be much more open to,
Feedback and to growth when that relationship is established.
Yeah, so one of the things I've I've always said that are are a couple things that the people we coach and lead wanna know. Okay?

[10:02] They wanna know.

[10:09] And so anytime there's a coaching conversation I tell coaches many time do not hold back information,
When you're I'm I'm coaching. I'm gonna work with you. I want you to develop but let me tell you what I want for you. Let me tell you what I see as a possibility. Let me see what like so if I have somebody who's coaching me.
But I also am aware.

[10:34] What they want for me, right?
And so all of his.
Now, could he have gone to a few more, you know, like,
Breakout sessions
He just goes off.
In
So much potential that you should be playing on Sundays and then eternal and said,
I'm gonna make sure that happens even if it kills you
Now, you know the typical framer references even if it kills me. No, he said.
But the minute he let me know what he saw in me and what he wanted for me it.

[11:49] View of what he wanted from me what he wanted from me was my best and he wasn't gonna settle for any less but here at the also remind me and help me understand that at times he can see,
In me what my best is many times more than i can and so this is what coaches do coaches,
Yeah, a best friend like some of my friends, they love me enough to accept me right where I'm at.
Actually speaking into me challenging me sometimes in the very uncomfortable way but I know they care so in those one on ones it also gives coaches an opportunity to let the person know I'm coaching,
That I really care. This is what I see and you know, now, I'm gonna challenge you.
Is that what you want?
No, I'm gonna make sure I reward and all that stuff comes along with that. But that's when you start discovering out.
Answer that question. You know.

[13:08] When have you learn the most when I ask that question right but the other thing that's powerful we wanna find out too is you know what was one of the greatest rewards you've ever seen ever receipt.
And somebody say why would you ask that? I said because you start finding out what motivates him.
Some people like, hey, one time I gotta one of my leaders gave me a letter and you know, gave me this plaque. Somebody else says,
Hey, man. Just somebody tell me it got good job well done. Oh, I knew my leader really appreciate me because they left me alone. I was, I'm telling you, pay attention to the information, right? Like, they are telling you exactly
This is how I'm driven. This is what works for me. You're gonna have some people are like, well, my people are just too sensitive.
Well, if you ain't getting ready, you people, then you better adjust to sum up and we were sensitive. Not all of our sensitive.
But a few of them might be but what it may make that adjustment is when they find out what you want.
For them.

[14:10] Let's step back and dive a little deeper into this idea of,
Choosing which of the chess pieces we're moving on the coaching board,
Because you you talked about the importance of we're not coaching everyone.

[14:27] We're selecting. So, what does that is it? Is it an intuitive process for the leader or what? What are some ways to approach that?
That is a great question.
I know I know it sounds crazy but we're talking about people. But again, limited amount of time. So,
Everybody care about everybody opportunities or those things.

[14:57] But what dictates it is like if I had a list of.

[15:04] In the reality is there's probably two of those 10 who have more influence than the other eight combined,
Let's just be honest. It's not, it's not a whole, anytime I work with a team, anytime I work with a group, even consulting how walking room, and I can sit near and I see 10 people and it's like, oh, you gotta win over all 10. No, I don't.
Okay, there's one or two. I gotta win over and if I get them, I get everybody else, okay? Well, most leaders know who that is in their teams too. In turns
Who's influence, who's impact, who's, who, if they were to take away their support or if I were to lose them, what would be the significant of that impact?
That's not the end I'll be all but that's one of the filters you have to use when it comes to who do I choose the porn to
The other thing that is a filter in another part of it is there willingness.

[15:58] Maybe may not have that level of influence yet but their desire in willingness to grow is contagious you feel it in their attitude cuz there's some people highly capable of getting developed and grown
They just not coachable.
No, I'm not telling you spend a lot of time there, right? Like, when I'm telling you, they may have a sign to ask, you may give, you can work with them. You you just not gonna build your whole company around them. That's a dangerous thing to build your business around, right? There are
Good soldier. They're good but don't build around.
But for someone who may be even young and maybe but they have you see they have to capable you see
Those are places where you it's a very important that you pour your not only intention that's why I grab but now I turn around and pour my attention into it
Right? Okay.
Are the loudest ones are the you know the same so even at that that's not who gets our coaching that we usually waste all our energy and everything into.
But then you are robbing you are literally neglecting.

[17:16] You're ones who are.
They've earned the right to get more of your focus and your attention and so that's why kinda using this and I know I'm gonna but it's
There's some intuition in there. There's some huge part on there. They're willingness or attitude. Wanting to do it.
Also I I let leaders know sometimes you need to tell people directly where you're about to do,
Like this doesn't have to be some mystery, right? Like I can go to a couple of people say, hey, listen. This is what I see in you. This is where I wanna coach you too. This is what I believe can happen.
What's your thoughts about it?

[17:59] Give him some time. Talk about it. Hey, let's have a secondary conversation. Are you up for this? Because the way you're gonna coach him isn't the price sitting in a lock, a classroom, or whatever. Hey, you'll give him greater and greater operators. And so, you know, that's.
A nice.

[18:21] I might be trying to get a little too technical here but when you think about it
Wait, when you think about walking into a room, the example you gave, you have 10 people and you wonder do I need to win all 10 over? No, I only need to win two over and those two will take care of the rest. How did you cultivate that,
Ability.
There was a commercial that said when you've hadn't speaks people listen.

[18:49] Yeah.
Look what I what I've done in a very practical way is,
I wait to hear who speaks. I cannot wait to see how settled at the end. I do kinda find out from, you know, inside sources. I'm like, hey.
The same question I use as a filter I even ask leaders in that group hey I know I'm working with the CEO but I will find out that his CFO
Even though he might have the highest title sitting in that room might not be the greatest influence ever and so I will sit there and ask to see I was like okay these are all your I know the titles,
But I wanna know the influence and that has nothing to do with titles and so what drives this development what drives us coaching can't be titles,
It has to be who the individuals are and so this,
You know, I don't want that question. Can I lose my CFO's info? No.
The question needs to be can I lose jams influence can I use bills to be individual and this is why I'm saying it's not checkers is checks like you have to look at the people you coaching by name not just by role
Right?
I say it this way. There's somebody right now listening that probably your greatest problem solver in your organization.

[20:18] Does not fit
Problems or challenges to somebody that may not
They're my most strategic problem solver.
They I love their coach Kyle Shanhan obviously his father was a great coach but what I love is they're best wide receiver is also their best running back,
So they're like give the ball to Debo Samuels just why are we sitting here gonna allow a
Some arbitrary title to get in the way of him doing what he does best, right? Get the ball to him, put him in the backfield. Now, it's funny. You know, it's.
Put us effective and this is where I'm I tell a lot of coaches with their teams. Man, a sign your folks coach your folks, coach your team.
According their strengths.
Like, hey, I mean, really leverage their strengths together and it is a different way of looking at it. I'll tell you right now, either one of the leaders I I coach,
Automotive group and I know for a fact one of his greatest influences one is his greatest problem solvers and his whole organization.

[21:43] This is the executive assistant.
Hands down. Like a without question. No. No strategic. They have a different parts fit. No, all these different.
So if you have that kind of talent and that to not use it.
It was one of the first words we used when we started this episode and the line of questioning keeps coming back to it but it's that word intentional.

[22:12] It's it's being intentional, intentionally,
How we're going to play this game of chess that you're talking about? Yeah.
Yeah one of the things about one other aspect of hope when people realize when I talk about chess you know,
Just chest matches don't happen as fast as checkers right I mean so I mean you know the development the the strategy all that stuff just be you know I would say,
Progression over perfection.
You know what I'm saying? And and so this is a progressive move. This is when I'm developing some of my work and some
There's no guarantee I I would be I would be remiss if I didn't say that there's times you can grow and develop somebody and you can do such a good job,
Did they become a high demand and there's a chance you may lose them,
But I will also say.
Like Francis one of my clients I said hey you know big green company that sells a lot of coffee but I was like hey you know there's nothing better than being a,
Accommodate girls and develop, leaders.

[23:41] Right? And so, in so many other cases, that's what we want to be. We wanna be a both end where this is our business but what we're really in is the growing development are people.
In the good news of that is you won't.

[23:55] Continuously overpay for free agents okay so in sports if you don't develop your own talent,
You have to then go out and over pay,
For free agent who then has to learn your culture and then has to learn the nuances of how your business works and then has to go about and we know that's never simple.
I get asked all the time hey there what do you think about people who go out and grab AA this person from this company this person this company I was like there's nothing wrong with it I think there's good for new blood everything else like that
But I don't think we're always honest enough. We know in all of our businesses especially when you're small business. There's so much new launch.
There's so much little subtle things. There's so much dynamics with the customer or how things function and that means that somebody else has to come from the outside and do that whole learning curve.
And what happens is you have a tendency we have a tendency to overrate,
In underrate the opportunity or the potential of those who are already underneath our roof and this is the shift that we need to make.

[24:59] That is awesome. Alright, you've given us something to work on for the week. That is absolutely for sure. So, thank you for that.
I'll remind folks that if you would do us a huge favor rate and review this podcast or the video if you're watching us on YouTube wherever you're listening or watching we would definitely appreciate it,
As if you rate and review hopefully we've earned those five stars. It helps drive this podcast up higher and search results for people looking for leadership, business, and and those who are wanting to,
Unleash their best in life and work. So, with that, we'd appreciate that. You can also find Eric on LinkedIn just
Do a quick search it for Eric Boles at LinkedIn that's a great way to connect with him also you will find his website The Game Changers dot.
Com.
Dot com is the website where you can find Eric learn more about what he can do for your company he's an executive coach a leadership expert change consultant and keynote speaker this is
The game changers unleashing your best in life and work.

[26:13] The game changers unleashing your best in life and work with Eric Bulls and Dale Dixon,
Eric is an executive coach, leadership expert, change consultant, and keynote speaker,
Read his book moving to great and find him at eric bulls. Com connect with Dale at Dale Dixon Media. Com.

[26:32] Music.