A Life Well Lived

Legacy and making a difference
Eric recently lost his brother. In this inspiring and heart-felt episode, he shares the life lessons and stories of a life well-lived.

Transcript

[0:00] Coming from the funeral night did the eulogy but I was like I left.

[0:06] More inspired, more appreciative, but also just honored.

[0:13] Man, I can't believe I didn't know as much as there was. About him, you know, I mean, he's a walking book. Unleashing your best in life and work. This is the game changers with Eric Bowls and host Dale Dixon.
Unleashing your best in life and work with a life well
Lived welcome to the game changers podcast with Eric Bols I'm your host Dale Dixon so good to be with you Eric coaches trains and inspires leaders to unleash their potential and the potential of those around them
And this is going to be a tough episode I can tell you already you might wanna grab that box of tissue because.
Been through it.
In the last 7 days and he's willing to share with us exactly what's happened but,
But you had the service just yesterday.

[1:15] And,
A bullet point list of all the life lessons that we can all live day to day to have the kind of impact that your brother had.
Yeah, no. Thank for this Dale and it really honor and for those who are listening right now, we've all been directly indirectly. You all know the the pain of loss
Put the beautiful thing about law sometimes
Least to reflection, right? Like it, it it it
Many times is solved by loss you can beat,
You know, have some,
After the fact. Well, fortunately for me.

[2:11] My brother his name is Anthony. Anthony Bols and Anthony passed away,
Last,
These guys who had been hired and they see my brother face down in the yard so he died suddenly,
Totally unexpected none of us expected that to happen.

[2:48] The dynamic of it even more challenging was.

[2:53] My brother had completely changed his life around in the last 15 years he had struggled all the way up substance abuse all kinds of different challenges not only did he have challenges but my brother had challenges that were it.
Unfortunately expose publicly my father our father was a very public figure where we lived you know he was a pastor but very large church but it wasn't just that our father was very involved
In the community civil rights during that time my death when my father passed away he was 91 but my father walked with Doctor King and and all kinds of different things so you know anytime you have a
Very public parent,
And for those who may be in the audience who are PK's preacher's kids.

[3:44] He worked hard to change his life around the substance abuse is a powerful thing and any really I mean went from at times it even been homeless living in the very community my father was serving in I mean it was a very,
Difficult thing but well 15 years ago more he completely,
Life got transformed and it got transformed to such a degree that.
Not only feeding down it to Tacoma Rescue Mission in Tacoma Washington where we're from but he was also speaking and teaching down there
Not only was he preaching and teaching in in speaking at the rescue mission if you just want a little further there's bridges in downtown to come underneath,
You'll see my brother there on certain morning. So, we're late in the evenings with people that we typically either walk by or or don't see or don't necessarily want to see. That's not being critical. It's just being truthful like it's
Dangerous and he would go.

[4:49] And just serve,
You know, I know that world
The world is challenging.
Never forget when he said it helps no matter how you got there. In many times, it is by a choice here and a choice there and it that shows that he goes the first thing we gotta get rid of is against it's not even about the victim mindset.
It's more about however you got here.

[5:30] If you have this doesn't change between ears you're gonna stay here
Take him over there and so with my brother passed away and we're at the funeral.

[5:46] We ended up discovering.
I mean summer came up and you couldn't believe that it be either been homeless or strong out or a difficulty with drugs or any you wouldn't never know based on what you're looking there and there like when I was at my worst he was there.
And then you have an individual who look like they're still in the midst of a struggle
That he just sent me. On the day he died, they were text messages. Hey, praying for you. Hey, do you need me to pick you up? What do you need? I mean, on the phone on the day he passed away.
There were people came and we're like I don't who's that? Who's that? And as family we didn't know any of these individuals. Yet this was the impact he was having.
Winnie was having that I never forget I sat there
And I remember doing my plan days when I was in Green Bay Wisconsin and and Regi White used to say something often in in in I still remember I don't know if he was the originator of the coke but it was great line but he would say this all the time he says
Eric Champions are celebrated in the light.

[7:00] But they're made in the dark.
In every single person who came and spoke on my brother's behalf.

[7:18] The things my brother was doing and serving with no fanfare with no spotlight.
With,
His messages that he was planning on speaking on a Sunday, preaching on a Sunday, at his little church and you gotta realize when I say little church, I mean, it's not very a little building. Everything I,
Took care of her with everything he had. He lived above his old apartment and places that was above it. And what was so amazing is the level detail I'm planning in preparation.
Hey man how many people at your service this way and I'm in my mother and told me she goes.
I sent my brother prepared like he was about to speak in front of a 1000.

[8:09] And it was so beautiful because he never ever altered when I he told me about the message and how good he went not one time did he concern himself or how many people were there and I was like this is the he is a walking example.
Of what Reggie gave as a principal.
Like what you do in the dark? What you doing.
Share like this cuz it's healing, right.

[8:47] But my brother was an amazing success.

[8:57] Word for success to come from a Latin word and what it actually means the word success using agricultural terms it means to come up through.

[9:06] And so that when you talk about the word success successes and something in comparison to another
I'll do another or how we define it on a scoreboard or what it looks like to so many people. Success the actual meaning of the word success is to come up through. So, what dictates how successful you were is what did you go through to get to where where it is you get to,
So it's not necessarily when I end up what process did I go through.
What my brother went through
I need to be there to be able to grow to where I was and I am so inspired by that because
He's one of the pillars I got this I got a chance of stand on I I got to watch his you know he paid a tuition I didn't have to pay but how he his
Discipline of preparation.

[10:05] The level of his preparation.
And had more to do with his own personal discipline and character trait.

[10:18] Hey fundamentally believe there was a biblical scripture that says whatever you do and word or do you want to lord in not in a man Colossians 323,
And I share that because the principal
Different faith or different belief or whatever but the principle of that scripture's powerful and that simply means whenever you do is not for the sake of an audience.
Is actually based on something come from the inside. So, my brother's preparation.
Order of service hit introduce the service here do announcements here speak a message here sing and yet a horrible voice so sing to the best of his ability he preached the message and do all those things
With no,
How successful the day was
Did I do what I was felt I was called to do did I did I prepare in a way that I believe I treated it with the respecting technique it deserves did I I mean and he did this day in and day out it's just
Man, thank you for this. Just being able to share but I am still like coming from the funeral and I did the eulogy but I was like, I left.

[11:46] More inspired, more appreciative, but also just honored.
Buy my brother. Like,
The one person there he gave them.

[12:12] Just as though there were a 1000.

[12:19] Federal.
He goes.
I got a phone call.

[12:42] Grab me.
I had nothing to offer him. He came and goes and now I got a job and I got but it wasn't because he got me the job. It was cuz he gave me cup. He saw me, man,
Just to hear people,
Say that it's the the the the gentleman who was like you know I mean literally showing the text messages and showing all the things that were happening
That my brother would just do it day in and day out like he wake up that's my purpose today.
My purpose is there's somebody who needs me. Now, keep this in mind and I say this for for the audience to hear,
We talking about, you know, I mean, a life well lived,
For the life will live which was lived in alignment with his values and he lived these values in such a way that even if others didn't
He's not in an environment.
Where you hear a ton of thank you i appreciate you thank you for your help they're individuals that the majority of them said.
Hey it's not till right now that I realize what he was doing for me.
I feel terrible because I didn't get to tell him thank you and he kept coming back I didn't get a chance to say appreciate any kept coming back I mean there are many cases my brother never heard.

[14:08] My father say after he goes unfortunate for so many of us.
That we go.

[14:26] Right like make sure you give them their flowers while they can still appreciate that and it was another reminder we walk away from this coin man I mean the number of people who walked away,
Making phone calls planning on going to see somebody just to tell somebody thank you for what you've done for me and what you contribute
Any of that being a total celebration and everybody walked out with my brother's passing.
Yes he's no longer in this earth,
Impacted everybody in the room so they walk out and do something individually just reaching one person who's made a difference in your life just to tell them thank you.
I mean it's it's it was one of the most.

[15:18] Inspiring experiences I've ever had. I've had some pretty aspiring experience, inspiring experiences, you know, nothing matched.
It was just special. There are some.
What I hear you saying about your brother is that the level of personal fulfillment
Is indirect correlation to one's level of service.

[15:58] And,
Man it couldn't be said any better than that deal he lived in service to others which is such an inspiration for all of us while we're still here.
What am i doing day in and day out that is serving others and I'm doing it to the very best of my ability and it doesn't matter who's looking.
Or anything else it is.
The other thing I'm thinking of I really need to stop and I need to think about my gratitude opportunities and who are those people who are.

[16:43] Pay attention on a regular basis but i need to stop and have.
Hey beautiful.

[17:01] That stay with you because it allows you to take inventory not in a,
Gratitude I mean gratitude one one of the things that my my brother would
Discuss or talk about often was that you know we walk around with what so many people need.

[17:29] Which is some people just need,
To be seen to just sometimes just how powerful man thank you a word like thank you is right like and it doesn't be need to be open at top it's not like my my brother wasn't,
We're not talking about someone who was
Super polished or or had I mean he was very smart and and but I mean man he could get mad with the best of him right here at an edge to him with the best of all that but even he would be the first one to say like in
And he enjoyed this quote. We were talking about him and he heard me say it before from a business standpoint but he used it,
Personally since the we will not I can't allow perfection to get in the way of progression. You know me and you had that conversation like it's perfection can't get in the way progression. That means I gotta be able to do something. So what can I do
Right? But then he would facilitate that in the hands of others like he goes, hey, my question is, what can you do.

[18:30] It's like I wanna pay you back. No, you don't pay me back. You pay,
I'm not giving you something.
You know, added just a goodness of my heart. He goes, man, I can do this for you because somebody did this for me.
You know, I'm not just doing a fact. I owe this but then you're gonna turn around and you go all which have to give,
But the actually see it practiced.

[19:10] That is not necessarily conducive to it.
Do it at the way that I told once it's like man we talk about love and and loving unconditionally.
But man, that's really hard. You know, I I my wife and I have made jokes about it at times like, look, we talked about loving each other, unconditionally, but yes, be honest, like,
You know, there's some conditions.
Courageous conversations like it was in AA in a love that's just agreeable like man he would love hard like love he would love.

[20:08] Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, he was like, look, I mean, he would say all the time. Hey, I love you but I love you way too much to leave you where you're at. I love you, Zuma,
Where is that where he goes man,
He goes there's a lot of things we can talk about.
And we're not all called to do the same thing and this is what I appreciated about. He was like, he went through the things he went through because that's where his assignment was like those other people, like, that's not mine, territory, that's not where I go,
But he challenged me so there but where you do go.
I challenge you to take that same attitude and mindset.
For so many I get a chance to work with and speak to and share.
And sometimes those we gotta we gotta make sure that that.

[21:16] Need to be real and authentic in for the best interest of real growth and sometimes.
It's not as important as giving him what they actually need. It takes courage to do that sometimes and he really helped me with that.
At our hearts and our prayers are with you and your family. The healing process.
Takes a long time and also what I'm hearing it's such a loss for the Tacoma community.
There is there is a heart shaped hole that is left in that community now.

[22:03] Yeah.

[22:08] I will tell you this so my friend for every single person cuz I know.
Very they're coming coming out of it going in it in the midst of it.
Indirectly directly dealing with loss or tragedy or some kind of difficulty
I I just I set my heart my my my prayers and my thoughts to all those who are going through the process. The one thing I will say though is
You know,
You know, it's amazing if you put, if you love talking in analogies and said, little, old, Asap, I remember there was apple tree anymore.

[22:57] The same place he plucked,
Or out of a branch cut down with you know prune.
On this planet that it was.

[23:33] You didn't rob yourself from others but you invest in yourself and others. Man, it's gonna be multiplied in so many different ways and it's just such a great mindset because I watched it yesterday.
It's already happening. It didn't kick off yesterday. It was already taking place.
In the fact that I get to tell my brother story right now is gonna touch somebody who heard this who's now just being reinforced they're gonna turn around and do some they're gonna turn around so my brother's life not only was it never in vain man it's that.
It's gonna have a 3060.
Just because of the people who now get a chance to hear it. So, thank you my friend for letting me do this. Thank you all and the audience are hearing this such a healing for me,
I just I'm just grateful thank you so much,
Eric is an executive coach. Leadership expert, change consultant, and keynote speaker. Read his book moving to great and find him at eric bulls. Com. Connect with Dale at Dale Dixon Media. Com.

[24:43] Music.