The Game Changers

Define Your Win

January 16, 2023 Dale Dixon Season 2 Episode 251
The Game Changers
Define Your Win
Show Notes Transcript

If you're setting a goal, that goal is leading to a "win." How do you define that win? In this episode, Eric and Dale discuss a unique way to approach goal setting by clearly defining the win.

[0:00] End of the things that I think is is Big that leaders can do is how they engage with their people and goal setting in the first place goal setting is important.

[0:10] Precious you engage in is the most and so sometimes we set goals to set Direction.

[0:17] Process we Embrace has more to do with what I'm talking about being at our best unleashing your best in life and work,
this is the game changers with Eric bowls and host Dale Dixon defining the win as we Unleash Your best in life and work welcome to the game changers podcast I'm your host Dale Dixon alongside Eric bowls are great to see you.
Great to see you my friend,
so we had the great pleasure of actually being together in person we're in different states and we always have these conversations via video and you were in my hometown and so we met up and spent some time and you let me sit in on a presentation
and I thought you know what one of the points you made in that
in that presentation would be great for a podcast episode and and I'll let you unpack this idea of defining the win,
forests so yeah take us through.

[1:12] About the goal is playing our best because that's the way you introduced the topic as you were speaking the goal is about playing our best.
Yeah the way that I talk about defining the wind because you know sometimes we can win on the scoreboard.

[1:31] Yet not necessarily be winning.
Either the game the game of life or whatever you want to describe it so there's a difference between being the best and being at your best.
Being at your best doesn't really have a limit to it it allows what I like to say a continuous growth and Improvement.
We're being the best simply.

[1:54] Might be more about who you're competing against that it is about how good you really are so if I'm convene again someone who's not that good of course I'm the best but if my goal is to compete at or the goal is to be at my best.
Now that's a whole different standard because being at my best that's different.
And we're talking about such a such a slight change in words.

[2:20] But the the meaning is drastically different it is.
A game-changer I've watched individuals performance improved to levels unseen
I mean like they've never tapped into before and they're and their progress continues up because the the gold shifted and you know think about how that we use words like you need to be the best
versus being at your best because being at your best
isn't dictated by who you're playing against or what's happening around you so there's a time there was a chance meeting at my best.

[3:01] There's a time when.
Those who I'm competing with and competing against are better than me right but when my goal is to be at my best it's not that I'm not competing but I always like to say the comparison game.
It has more negative impact than positive intact for most people because they start looking around and compare how they're doing and people are like.
Glow how do you get better unless you're competing as people better than you I said yeah that's true but the reality is rarely do we reach our fulfill our potential
by simply using what's around us because what's around this again might not be that good but if my goal is to be at my best every time I discover a little more potential I know there's still more to do
or I can accomplish so it can't it creates that what I like to say
a flow of continuous Improvement momentum is maintained because we're beyond our best think about what it's like to be a coach or a leader of an organization and you like we just had our best year ever.

[4:04] Which is true on the scoreboard but your best year ever may look very different
when you chose to be at your best for the year right and now let's see what those results look like because typically if we're having if we're winning on the scoreboard there's a tendency to let off a little bit.
Instead of having a coach who doesn't close to the store but they coached a potential I shared the story before when I speak where.
You know head coach a great coach like Bill Belichick can win the Super bowl and turn around and say I'm happy we won the Super Bowl.

[4:38] But I'm not really happy with the way we played we won the Superbowl but I wouldn't say we play we play that our best think about how powerful that is yes I got the ring yes we got the rewards for winning.

[4:49] But our real fulfillment comes with playing at our very best so there's a chance you actually are far more successful,
ended up in second place and third place in fourth place because to get there it requires all of you we like to call that you had a total release performance where it took everything in you.

[5:07] To be able to perform at that level and when you're playing to be at your best guess what also leaves the building or leave the environment.
Fear failure fear rejection all of a sudden man I am so lost in the competition,
I'm bringing my best self to the table that I'm free to just compete or work or perform at my highest level without sitting back wondering who am I competing against.
Like being at my best you know I don't need to be the best husband in the world I need to be the best husband Eric in be.
But at my best that's might not be the same Dynamic someone else well is the variables are different
you don't think we can also put my wife likes it may be very different but when you go through this process there's a freedom that happens Dale.
That helps remove that fear of failure that fear of you know low performs the fear of what people are going to think of me man I am free I'm my goal is to like.
What can I how can I exceed what I did before in terms of my effort my commitment those things I have control over the scoreboards remember scoreboard is a lagging indicator not a leading indicator.

[6:26] So let's unpack this I think from two perspectives external and internal because I.
I believe and we can talk through this and you can disagree that we it's almost a culture fight and I like to tell a story of a an actor and I heard the actor Define winning as the number of women in the house and cars in the garage which is.
I believe it really sick twisted approach to defining a win especially when you look at it as bringing my best out every day so from an external standpoint if we have culture
working to Define win as material what
what's the impact and what does that fight look like as we as leaders were approaching this inside of her organizations and we're setting the tone we're setting the temperature inside the organization despite what's happened.
In the culture so talk about it first from that external standpoint what you seen related to that and how we.

[7:25] Push the right approach to defining what playing looks like not necessarily defining the.

[7:33] I love that so they'll one of the one of the things that was a
a real challenge for me is
is it when you cut up in the Athletics like I wasn't in sports especially when you get into professional sports you know you don't hear a lot of things people talk about character and all that stuff that's great and it's I know the words are saying that but
but the what we can see in the actions speak a lot louder so when I first got to in felt really the definition of success in that world in my opinion was how I viewed it it was winning.

[8:12] In the billfold the ball field in the bedroom you did those three things well you were winning right until,
those three things happen and you realize you weren't winning okay and so however that was defined as winning you start realizing that is not really winning like the I heard a speaker say there's a difference between being successful and being fulfilled,
break in
in fulfilled is what you want because the all the other stuff gets it changes based on the times you know in because you won't be playing a long time that money can be gone hey
when the ball field left a lot of the women left to or whatever you would describe the bedroom as all those different things shifted but here's the one thing that I discovered
when the goal becomes being at your best and unleashing your best in terms of life and work unleashing your best in terms of potential.

[9:10] It incorporates the variables by which you have to do that inside of.
There are so many factors that you don't have control over so sometimes the finding a win their thing one time where I Define the wind is hey man we score 30 points a game that's the finding win.

[9:28] Yeah but you played in a particular game where the winds were blowing 45 45 mph sideways and it was raining in in the field will slip slippery.
Guess what you guys scored 16 points.
Well there's a chance we play better in that game where we scored 16 points then we ever did in school in the gains that we score 40 and 50.
Because the variables are circumstances we had to perform in required more out of us than ever before.

[9:57] This is where it needs to change as Leaders within their organization I've seen company right now who I've and it's not lowering the bar it's just giving a better understanding,
one particular leader I coach,
how he does define success via eBay or successful returns top top line sales was very different in the last two years during the pandemic ordering some circumstances in it was
prior to that because everything changed
you know how they could sell and how they so he really valued the win because I have flexible and resilient and creative the people had to be well coming to the other and he's going into this year going here's our goals,
but what I'm more locked onto is what allows us to be at our best how do we be at our best more often and he goes
I want that resiliency in that adaptability in that order I don't want to lose that momentum so it was very similar to hearing a Belichick statement right hey we hit this number,
but what I'm most proud of is how we played.
That's why he's like hey I know the score is a lagging indicator so I'm going to place my focus on what environment do I need to create as a leader.
That allows the my people to be at their best that is a different goal.

[11:20] Versus here's the number we want to hit let's hit it I'm not saying we don't think about the number we want to hit I don't think but I am saying be careful setting that number.
And in the thinking that's the end all be all because there's a chance the number you said is even beneath what could possibly be
and so really the goal is to be at our best so if we make the habits of being at our best in place when we start getting close to the goal we have okay we're gonna go we can let up know we love playing the game the right way
right like our motivation more of an intrinsic motivation versus an extrinsic motivation isn't it is an attitude motivation versus just an incentive motivation right instead of motivations in order to work they typically have to keep getting,
bigger butt.
But intrinsic motivation like my goals to be at my very best some of the joy is just a discovery of what's possible
and now you start playing with a different level of freedom I was hearing this the other night aside knows listen to a couple
basketball players who you know plain NBA and one of my Meyer greatly ones the one is Steph Curry and he said something the other night that I just loved he goes.

[12:35] I don't have any more to prove but there's a lot more I want to accomplish and when they it after he said that he goes and it's not that I know I have three championships couple MVPs all those things right.
But the joy of playing at the highest level of competition in discovering what's possible fast was fun.
Where most people look at that same game he's in and they're like how can that kind of pressure be fun what are people going to say about you if it goes in or doesn't go right he's past that
he's like
no man this is this is what brings the joy out look at what we have to be able to accomplish and I will tell you that last the mindset of being at your best versus just trying to be the best
so let's take this to from that external side let's take it to the Practical and the Tactical
what are some of the things that a leader top three things that a leader should be doing to initiate this.
Culture mindset attitude.
Inside the organization I love it I love it one of the things that I think is is Big that leaders can do is how they engage with their people and goal setting in the first place like like give goal setting.

[13:50] Goal setting is important but the process you engage in he's even more so and so sometimes we set goals to set Direction.
But the process we Embrace has more to do with what I'm talking about being at our best right so what this being at our best look like and engaging people in that process so as a leader I'm not just
evaluating hey how do you know like I would say this way
I remember talking to a leader once in we decide okay what is it that we're trying to accomplish and they identified it and we talked about why are we trying to accomplish.
But then after that once we got into the how the questions then began to what amount of effort do we need to give to make this happen.
How efficient do we want to utilize that effort in doing it and then once we get to that point then we Define how effectively were at it well our goal is to be at our best more the time.

[14:44] We should become in everything we do we should become more and more efficient,
we should be coming more and more effective not just in the number but how we're getting to the number and I asked leaders all the time and quantify that Define the kind of,
all these that you want
you know in going to that journeyman we work together we you know our commitment Joy was part of it we had a lot of fun all that but then also quantify it right.

[15:12] It took this many reps it takes this many if we if you're in sales hey man you know I don't get there overnight it takes this many more calls and but inside of every one of those calls
this is how I talk to her
and so you get to the end and you start celebrating the fact that you embrace the practice of it you embrace the process of it and so this is what's happening in many organizations.
We put so much emphasis on the result.

[15:41] Instead of the joy of the journey in the joy the process by which we can grow in significant ways and so in practicality we don't remove the goal.
We just add greater emphasis on process of getting to the goal because if we can put greater emphasis are we're going to find efficiencies we're going to find new ways and in many cases we start realizing that our goals are too small.
You don't when we really start thinking about our goals are too small so anytime I mean I should just once before but I remember working with one particular leader and share the fortune comes me is like hey Eric,
you know the real question is your performance guide where you know why should we you know why should I work with you
or why should we work with it you know we you know our business our top-line keep it up me up 22 percent this year we have this other you know you mentioned these other things and he goes so my question is why should we weave and work with you,
and I just ask some questions and it was 22% but why wasn't it at 27 or 28 that's all I asked right he's like,
yeah I think I want to work with you now what's funny about that example or what's funny about that story now I learned that from a performance consultant who that don't work before and and
I never forget the reason is there's so much room.

[17:02] For people to be at their best more than time man it's one of the most untapped resources we still have we never evaluate how much waste,
we go about just trying to do a little bit better how much small
Planters we make we don't you realize how much it costs us that we're going in circles doing stuff that isn't vital doing stuff now we identify what's most important we just don't do what's most important so all these things I'm talking about being at our best,
doesn't translate to working harder it just translates to me and really carefully evaluating and seeing all the various places,
we can create so much gain so let's move to the internal side of this and it occurred to me that.
When I when I talk about playing at my best.
The conversation in the mirror is completely different at the end of the day and is.

[17:59] Much more enjoyable when I can look back but at the same time leaders lead themselves first then and so.
We need to see the example set at the top obviously but no matter where we are at in the organization we serve we have an opportunity to lead this way to be playing at our
best individually and they're still all those internal things complacency,
lack of you know discipline you know you do you take through the list that were up against as human beings that were all struggling with so let's talk about what does
what does that look like from for leading myself the internal side of playing at my best it is it begins.
It begins with,
Clarity around what you have control over what you're responsible for this is why there are certain swear I like this why I love watching.

[18:54] Like the top golfers right I love it and I love hearing them explain after around.

[19:01] Like you know I never forget hearing either was the great John ROM or maybe Tiger Woods at one point even Jack Nichols way back in the day where he would say.
I didn't hit enough enough put stingo in but I hit good putts.
And I used to go but it didn't go in yeah but I rolled the ball exactly where I want it I controlled every variable that I felt I had control over and sometimes the ball just doesn't go in.
But I felt I played well even though the score might not have shown that.
In this is other round where they had a great round today but I got a little lucky I can't depend on that right I can villain controllable well when I talk about a leader in to or individuals how we do it with ourselves always.

[19:43] What area do I have control of in this situation now where am I responsible in this is where it gives us the freedom to be at our best more of the time so as my,
I've heard of years ago from Jack Canfield now many of you have used it and using different cases but here's the event event takes place.

[20:07] It's so e plus R equals 0 is event plus for my response equals the outcome and when I realize.
I can be at my best in terms of mine response I can always control the event I can't always dictate the outcome I can influence the outcome I can't always control but I can influence it but man when I'm at my best in terms of how I respond to these things.
It is a game changer so I chose leaders all the time it's like hey you are responsible to your people you're not necessarily responsible for them.
So no matter how much we would prefer to get credit for all I just hurt for my people and they're not I'm trying to remove every obstacle out of work you not being at your best
you're at your best when you are responsible for what you can just be responsible for creating and creating an environment for
putting out a little trust give her up but you gotta then lol them.
To also be at their best which they have to own their responsibility for Stuff the more that happens.

[21:05] Everything starts to rise well I could trust level rises people start trusting themselves more but that conversation with ourselves wherever we got to be so on
what do I own in this what do I have control of this and have a very
accurate understanding of what that is we have a tendency to live on both sides either we don't believe we have any responsibility or we believe we have all of it right it's better than Stan what part you have in on that.
Okay defining the win.
And we've got things to work on leading our organizations and on ourselves so thank you for that gift today Eric bowls.

[21:46] Thanks my friend
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[22:36] Eric bowls coaches trains and inspires leaders to unleash their potential and the potential of those around them have a fantastic.

[22:46] The game changers unleashing your best in life and work with Eric Bowles and Dale Dixon.
Eric is an executive coach leadership expert change consultant and keynote speaker.
Read his book Moving to great and find him at Eric bulbs.com connect with Dale at Dale Dixon media.com.

[23:05] Music.