The higher the esteem level, the higher performing the team. In this episode, Eric and Dale detail five ways a leader can inspire those around them to higher levels of success by building esteem.
The higher the esteem level, the higher performing the team. In this episode, Eric and Dale detail five ways a leader can inspire those around them to higher levels of success by building esteem.
[0:09] It's just because the ultimate goal is to how do we get to where we need to go how do we problem solve.
How do we get it out there faster unleashing your best in life and work this is the game changers with Eric bowls and host Dale Dixon.
Connecting head and heart to unleash your best in life and work welcome to the game changers podcast I am your host Dale Dixon I help leaders be their best on stage in front of the camera and I'm the chief Innovation officer for a Better Business Bureau Eric bowls coaches trains and inspires leaders to unleash their potential and the potential of those around them so good to see you again Eric you're seeing you my friend.
[0:49] Today we are talking about this idea of emotional connection and of course it's personal experience that leads to these podcast conversations take us down the road what are you seeing out in the marketplace so to speak well what I'm seeing Dale is the need now nothing's ever change, Ray let me let me change the let me explain what I mean by that it's always been important to connect from a relational step standpoint when we're leading, are folks not just managing what leading with a I you know I spend a lot of time doing it we spend a lot of time talking about the importance of clarity the importance of clear pictures in your mind and all those things and it's important that we work on those things and keep doing it we want to have clear plan clear strategy if people want to know where we're going how we're going there they were all those things are important and we talked about Clarity what why how benefits cost of an action we've been through that and we will continue to talk about that.
But the reason we also got to talk about the heart which I like to say this team level of our teams.
[1:55] It's because I called that the bounce-back plan that's what allows us to stay in the game that's what allows us to take the hits that go along with.
You know reaching or progressing towards a goal progressing towards success I mean it's so often like what usually knocks a team off course or knocks individual off course isn't that they didn't want the goal they just sometimes didn't anticipate.
How difficult the in-between time is right right the the thing that happens in many times what keeps us going many times is not enough if it's just us it's usually who were connected who were connected to her what we're connected to so I believe leaders are now needing to be very intentional.
With growing connection between them in those who they lead or those who they influence and I believe that needs to be done in a purposeful way a very systematic way it doesn't take away from the authenticity of it it doesn't take away from there but it has to be done on purpose and I don't know if enough leaders are viewing it I don't think they're there they're valuing doing things on purpose to ensure along this journey.
[3:04] That are steam level as a team which I like cars psychological immune system continues to grow.
Let's let's knock something off at the knees real quick that this is soft fuzzy stuff that really doesn't impact bottom lines.
Productivity you know we're coming off of one of our most recent episodes about getting stuff done this is get the heart in the conversation leading up to us hitting the record button on this podcast you made sure that we were going to be talking about this leads to better productivity it does it does right that one of the it if every distraction or every hit requires us to either completely start over.
Or we expect the Giddings getting the right stuff done we're going to know what the right stuff is every time right from the beginning.
That's comical so you know is almost like a I had a coach you told me one time he says look man we're going to do our best to call Great plays.
[4:10] But at some point when you're on the field you got to be an athlete like we're going to you you're going to have to adapt why because you're playing against an opponent who's good feel conditions referees a bunch of variables that you don't have control over and if my not only is the plan have to work but my esteem level has to work so can't just be a great strategy it also has to include a great strategy with some really healthy resiliency, with some you know with with some camaraderie with some things that I like how us to go I think Mike Tyson said it best everybody got some strategy until you get punched in the face right and so we want to make sure that our steam side of is our relational side, that is what gives us some of that resiliency some of that healthy psychological immune.
For in and we use immune system for a reason most of the diseases are developed most debilitating diseases in the world, are those who attack your immune system because you can't fight off.
The inevitable things that are out there well on a team or an organization when there's not a healthy psychological immune system.
You can't fight off the inevitable obstacles that come along with going after any goal.
[5:20] I want to go back to something you did touch on but that is I would say our inherent ability as human beings to underestimate.
The task we always think it's going to take a lot less time a lot less effort than it is especially with Hands-On types of things.
And you know it's it goes back to that, saying that we overestimate what we can get done in an hour and we underestimate what we can get done in a lifetime that's right.
So what's let's talk about the importance of really being thoughtful intentional and giving ourselves the bandwidth to do this right so one of the things I encourage leaders to do and not just leave it with individuals of this is for all of us is how we live our life for fall let me Define when I say we want to have a healthy psychological immune system and that another way of saying is we just want to have a healthy.
[6:19] We want healthy self-esteem which is individual only want to have healthy team esteem or organization steam the word is steam means to appreciate the value of.
[6:28] To appreciate and that's a currency terms so when we talk about increasing esteem we're talking about increasing the appreciation the value of so when a team's esteem level goes up what is really saying is our value that we see in one another.
Collectively goes up so when the team hits obstacles or get hit with different things the the connection between the team.
Can handle what comes teams don't fall apart from the outside and they fall apart from the inside out.
The only thing that brings us together is to Perfection of the plan that teams already in trouble.
Because there is no perfect there's great plans but what we really have is an outline and we're about to go on a journey because every plan has twists and turns and if our internal connection our sense of value of each other is not at a high level or the right level and we're in trouble.
That's what's going to again very rarely does teams lose for a lack of talent or lack of Competency or eels and usually lack because of a lack of chemistry usually like because there's a not competency but may be confident but that has you know confidence has much to do with confidence in each other.
Since the value in each other and so we have to be pretty systematic as Leaders to make sure those things are.
[7:52] Let's dive into that word you used trouble and more.
[7:58] Clearly defined that so what happens when we don't do this right or when we just don't pay attention to it at all.
What are some of the specific results well some of the specific results in you seen on team when the esteem levels right one is its the withholding of information like information doesn't flow the same way we people become I mentioned if way like people always talk about Silo effects on in organizations like this this this this you know we become siloed based on functional areas, it's even more tighter that we become siloed in inside of tea.
And so is the withholding of information it's not the sharing of information praise speech people giving their best effort there's this sense of.
I got to protect what's mine when the esteem level is not high enough if it shows up in the form of scarcity versus abundance another thing you will see and I talked about it this way is that we fall into what I like to call territorial, you know we this belongs to me this belongs to you you only do this and so when a teams are steam levels at the right place.
[9:12] All of a sudden that team starts feeling like we own this whatever it is together.
And when you have a sense of owning it together our tasks are excuse me our roles may be.
But we're one in the same on the team so I care now what happens with this team member I care now what happens over here you know I have the benefit of working with one of my clients in the Midwest and and and I just love working with this team they're their HR is an HR leadership team but again this HR leadership team and I say this.
[9:49] You know hopefully I'm being encouraging but there's a lot of HR functions in America.
That are people who run a chart and then the ones who are game changers are the ones who are leaders who happened to just be in h.r. okay those are two different things right and this group, is change leaders who just happen to be using like a chart so HR for this particular organization is a strategic advantage to the rest of the organization right but because that's how they function.
They have they continuously work once a quarter once a month and every meeting they have to continuously build.
Their sense of value amongst each other why because their leading change in the rest of the organization most of the time HR is following or just handling or putting out fires, I know this group is viewed as strategic Partners as almost internal Consultants giving them a better picture their their business partners seek them out.
[10:51] No I bring that up because now it gives them a chance to see trouble as it's coming it gives them a chance to see problems but you know the saying I like to say often is the blow that usually knocks teams individuals leaders out the blow that knocks us out is seldom the hard one is to one we don't see coming.
In this is why an esteemed team in a team who's who values and builds those kind of qualities amongst each other it goes up.
So in so and getting real practical I always ask groups one way you can see the steam level of your team and there's indicators for you know a team with healthy esteem in this is a huge trait the higher the esteem level the more frequent the more real the more authentic the feedback is.
[11:40] It's just because the ultimate goal is to how do we get to where we need to go how do we problem solve together how do we get it out there faster.
A team with Louis T you know not of, they withhold their that the feedback is tinted you know not as direct or they give feedback just not to the person who can do something about.
And so there's a lot of side conversations instead of direct conversation so when people hear when I talk about a man we got to really raise the esteem of of our team.
They think we're just trying to be nice nobody has time to be no we're not talking about being nice we're talking about being whole so if it's a healthy esteeming environment you should have somebody who's not in your team sitting in one of your team meetings.
And almost filled almost uncomfortable because of the directness the honesty the transparency with positive intent that's taking place on that team.
[12:33] Even when you end as a leader you it's a simple thing ask yourself how many real conversations are having when you guys are having team meetings or are they just updates but if they're real conversations that people are having these real dialogues if if we're in is accountability and we're asking the tough questions and in in don't mean it's always comfortable but our esteem level can handle those tough conversations so when we get out into the real game we can handle the circumstances that happen there.
[13:02] We know we have teams listening to this podcast as part of their leadership development we have leaders who are driving into an office today and they're thinking you know this is going to set the tone for something I'm going to work on this week.
What are the Tactical things that we need to be doing to start connecting head and heart to build the esteem aspect that you're talking about and really create that emotional connection what one things in practical ways so on most every organization has well there's performance reviews or they have the quarterly reviews three so whatever it is I know those are the formal feedback tools but you know the way that we increase the steam it is is the is the steam level goes up amongst our team but it but it goes up because.
Of The Compound Effect of every individual on the team having an increase in their sense of worth this is why leaders have to make it individual.
This is why I always As Leaders there's just you know I always say you know about five things that I tell them to do the first thing I tell them to do is help each person on their team.
[14:11] Recognize their value and what makes them unique in terms of what they contribute to the team.
[14:19] There was one activity I did with a group down in Florida incredible I mean I love the CEO I love the team down there and it was so simple.
[14:29] And I'm aware that you know.
Patrick at least he only does this a lot too and he's a just phenomenal expert when it comes to how a team Effectiveness but basically I like to call to put up game.
You just took time to say a this is what I appreciate that this is what I appreciate about you and the value you bring to this team so it's not just hey I think you're a nice person know what value do you contribute to the tank so as a leader.
I let my people know that but also as a team I let team members tell that individual on the team what they value.
We have a tendency to assume people know what we bring to the team or more importantly they assume what we think they bring to the team not realizing they don't know.
Now to make it even more personal but basically what we're saying is then let's make sure we give people flowers while they can still see them, that's what we're doing for our team Frank let's don't talk about awesomely were when they're gone or when something know let him know now this is what I see and this is what I appreciate the value bring anything every time that's highlighted people have a tendency to go back and bring bring that value even more so it's a simple thing you want to talk about starting a meeting off in a great way hey you know whatever going to start today's meeting off.
[15:44] Just telling each of you what I appreciate about you but also love to hear what you guys are preaching about each other in terms of what you bring to the table it is hard to have a bad meeting after that, okay and what's more important is you start out that way these are little steaming things and then all of a sudden what we have to take on is significant also after some things accomplished.
We got to get better at celebrating a win, horse in this and then when isn't just because we're the result sometimes we got to celebrate a win just how we got through a problem and we did it Collective so that's one thing.
[16:16] The other thing that I think is very important that teams due to esteem themselves and I mean this is really critical.
I think teams have to start focusing more on how do we.
How can we be at our best instead of spending so much time trying to be the best.
The comparison game is you know if you actually want to be the best.
[16:41] Just go out and compete this get some others who just aren't that good so if the goal is to be the best in just select your game well or select who you're competing against But ultimately for my healthiest team standpoint.
[16:54] We want to know hey we want to be at our best and when we're at our best when we realize you know now we're not in competition with anybody else we're in competition with being our best selves that is a different that you just raised the bar okay this is really important to help those who are listening I need you to hear me how significant this is.
[17:17] When the goal of our team is to be the best.
[17:20] There will come a time where you might end up being the best on the scoreboard and I will tell you automatically.
Emotion energy everything dissipates this is why so it's so hard to be a a dynasty in sports why because after you win a championship or win a soaked the Super Bowl the emotion that drove you that hunger to be the best.
He's been satisfied but you can't satisfy.
Being at your best because that becomes a standard so our step it doesn't mean we're always going to show up there on the scoreboard no matter where we end up we can end up at the end of your number one.
[18:02] But we can still look at that and say but we weren't at our best this year so you still have something to elevate to so that mindset is really important so leaders the goal is met our goal is to be at our best.
[18:16] Not just the best because there's a chance even if you are the best you're not being at your best hopefully that makes sense.
It's perfect sense it's the way to strive to always get better.
[18:28] That is it right there now one other one I do want to emphasize there's 21 is.
We have to from an esteem level is for our teams in our.
Book you know failure is never final you know losing a game doesn't make us a loser not getting that job done doesn't make your test terrible our ability to bounce back from mistakes is critical like more I mean Arabic we have to know right from the beginning healthiest team.
In a healthy esteem level it doesn't look like we just have continued success it may look like that from the outside.
[19:07] But we know it's not that we've had this one run of continuous success what we know is that our ability to bounce back is just faster so when we take when our ability to course-correct it's faster our ability to snap back from a we don't spend all day long trying to make sure we made the right decision we spend more time making a decision and then go about making that decision right.
[19:33] Because there's too many variables we can't control and so this is there are so many teams with spinning, stuck because they're really stuck in indecision it's not that they're not working they just haven't moved they just haven't actually moved for so making a decision as a team going out there and then take an action and then adjusting quickly.
[19:56] That's the that's evidence of a highly esteemed, organization that we have really good the bounce back there's a basketball player then I'm a huge fan of in it in the NBA and is named as you're honest, antetokounmpo but they call him The Greek Freak and I mean he's 611 yeah but I'm not impressed by that.
The reason I love Jana so much is I've never seen a superstar at his level who has almost no fear failure and the reason I say that is.
I washed him to be laughed at by crowds in everything when he plays because he struggles at the free-throw line and he struggled with shot and at the end of one of the games, he gets in front of the media and they go man you guys just lost because you're not a good free to he goes I know I know I mean it's honest I know I know but I'm trying so hard and I'm going to be able to do it and I know I didn't do it this time but I'm going to do in the next and it goes to the next game he miss more free throws and he get comes back safe but I'm working on I'm spending a lot of time that is unheard of he didn't place blame you didn't push direction but you watch this whole team just rally around him because he owned it like there was no ego there was no nothing the removal of the fear of being rejected like I'm not rejected by my teammates I'm bringing that up as there are times when our team has to Rally like that because there's certain people on our team whose roles at certain periods of time.
[21:25] Are more in the front than in the back and we all rotate there's sometimes you're on the team and somebody's role is a you know is is customer-facing or is the one on the stage or what and if they know they got a team around them who who will support them challenge them but support them going forward, now their opportunity to perform at a higher level just went up and so helping the team realize that failure is never final, you know losing doesn't make us a loser and I know that sounds soft is not that's hard but that's really hard work but when it's there so hard to stop a team.
What makes it harder is that it's really easy to say it.
When everything's good yeah most of the podcast yes we need to celebrate our failures but I'm not in the middle of a failure right now then we fast-forward and we get to be in the middle of a failure.
[22:24] And we go into self protection mode all of those, those things in our brain start firing that I made a mistake I've got to hide it or we need to downplay or you know it's fatal what do we do to survive all of that starts taking place and we forget to.
Celebrate the failure so to speak those things that we know to be true but it sounds so paradoxically incorrect than you're in the midst of it yes and this is why I put so much responsibility on leaders.
[22:59] L have to pay attention to what's not obvious there is nothing bothers me more than leaders who are just basically scorekeepers they're no different than a person in the in the stands they're no different than me about they look at the scoreboard say hey were winning they look let's go over losing that's so that's so.
Lazy okay pay attention to what's not obvious you got somebody who's results made out of but they took a greater risk than they did before you like the pattern what they just did.
Has a longer-term positive result sometimes you got some people on your team, who have no the bottom line is you know you like them why not because they have any obvious strengths it's just they have no glaring weaknesses because they play it safe all the time.
But then you have a few taken risks it you don't celebrate the risk they taken if you don't bring that everybody's going to start functioning not to make a mistake.
That is a lowest steamed environment we have to care how we feel with we're going after for each other no matter what.
And then if we do that right now we're moving towards the opportunities that are really there again this is about this is a heart that this isn't a competency.
[24:10] This is a confident thing that I got a team that helps me with a really good bounce back like I know even if we fall we were bouncing back again they're not leaving me hanging all by myself I mean that that's huge hmm I think you said you had five specific things for us to do I've counted make it individual.
[24:29] Celebrate the wins bounce back from the failures yes that's three just three the fourth one is we got to help people be become on our teams.
[24:41] Even more responsible.
[24:45] By participating in the decisions that impact them so as Leaders The Way We esteem our folks and grow this team of of our team's is instead of the making the decision for them.
We make decisions with them.
[25:00] Now it sounds so simple right but I'm telling you sometimes decision making or making decisions for our people.
[25:09] Is a lot faster it's a lot faster it seems to be a lot easier and in the short term it may be but in the long term it's going to create so many bottlenecks and we're not going to be as effective as possible and so one thing when we tell our people hey failure is not final and all the things that we said before at some point we got to create the opportunity for that to happen and so it's very practical when you're working with your people.
And you're helping them be better at and by participating decisions that impacted you talk through it, you talk through the Alternatives with them so they tell you what are the Alternatives that we're looking at what are the options going to do so when somebody comes you with a problem they shouldn't just show up with a problem we all heard this before but how many of us actually practicing when they sit in front of you and they tell you about the problem first question is tell me some of the options you considered about solving.
[25:58] If they haven't thought of any options don't give him the answer just tell him come back to me when you have.
Why we want to create an esteem in them their ability to problem-solve we want to create problem solvers we don't want to be the problem solver on our team that just makes you a bottle neck no matter how good you think you are solving problems.
Things get stagnant and shouldn't be getting stagnant they should be growing more the other reason thing that we want to do is not only talk about Alternatives but we want to discuss.
The benefits and the consequences, of each one of those alternative so it gets a great coaching opportunity and not only am I looking at those options you get to talk about what do you see as the benefits of those options okay what could be the consequence of that doesn't go right look at the level of dialogue that's taking place their intelligence is growing their sense of values going up just having this conversation and then after you finish all that gift what you do you allow them to make the decision.
Take it to the side so they don't get to that point and then turn around and you decide for them no let them decide.
[27:03] I think here's the great thing the for the other piece of that is hold them accountable to the decision they made.
Vision you made so many leaders do not until we make the decision for folks and when you make a decision for them and tell them what to do and try to hold them accountable to what you told them to do.
That is very different than holding them accountable for what they decided to do people have a much more higher stake in the game when they got to make the decision and they get the steaming value of still and since of work that this is my decision and they work even harder to make that decision right you walk to the pros and cons already they already recognized Alternatives but look what you just you just elevated them so when people talk about working on the esteem of a team in there this isn't soft like all this real leadership development like this is true leadership development now the fifth one which is.
It's very simple it's just help them over and over again just remind them this is a journey.
[28:06] Right this is a journey to be embraced day by day if this is about progression it is not about perfection and that's the beauty of this that the reason we do all those things we talked about but our esteem goes up when we realized we're part of a journey this is a this is something we get to experience that we could be a part of.
It just doesn't we just don't celebrate or feel like we grew after it's over too often that's what's done now we need to do it along the way I think if we do those things consistently and nothing I said right now is complicated it's pretty simple.
But it's easy to forget it's easy not to lean into.
[28:49] And it requires significant intention on the part of the leader to get in there and do this on a regular basis but really I mean that's a that's a five-point notecard to keep on the desk I'm I just wrote it out and I'm thinking about the conversations that I have with people on a daily basis and how I need to start these conversations with here's what I appreciate about you and start I call it filling the emotional gas tank I love it I love it.
Yeah you know one last point before we go is the last point I will make about how the how this works the reason and you just talked about and feeling emotional gas tank we're always going to make withdrawals.
That's inevitable we're going to make withdrawals circumstances going to make withdrawals X going to make withdrawals like life makes withdrawals constant.
[29:38] So what we do is we were constantly making deposits and we get to make deposits that's still moving the direction of the goals and the results were going after as an organization it's a both/and it so it's a win win across the board we just got to remember that it is that we start thinking when we're only talking the numbers and results in LOL that's the real world no it isn't that scorekeeping that's easy right that is really really easy the stuff we're talking about now this is, these are the leading indicators these are the car these are the causes you know everything else is the facts so when leaders are doing this man now you're getting to the heart of the matter and almost every problem.
Most individuals have in life in many probably bring the work usually our esteemed problems either we as we're low on esteem in Aries almost all the time it's an esteem issues.
And so if we can get serious about constantly working on that and it's amazing how far we can go.
[30:38] Such an amazing way for us to improve.
[30:43] Improve our productivity that has As Leaders of teams so thank you for that Eric, I'm going to encourage our listeners if you have not yet subscribed to this podcast please do so in your favorite podcast app we are, on so many different platforms you can find us in a number of places so wherever you choose to listen if you happen to be finding Us online through social media right now go to your favorite podcast app subscribe also while you're there if you would rate and review this podcast when you write it helps to show up higher in the search when people are looking for leadership and business also when you review it it just gives people a flavor for what you're getting what listeners are getting out of this podcast we would appreciate that and then finally the third thing we ask is connect with us we would love to hear from you you can find Eric and his website the game changers inc.com you can find me at Dale Dixon media.com would love to hear from you and we have that opportunity connect with you it'll help.
Feed the future episodes and provide content for these episodes so if you've got a tattoo topic you would love for us to tackle just reach out to us you can do that via the web sites or via social media as well I know Eric is active on Facebook and Linkedin as Mi so we would love to hear from you.
[32:03] Eric great to see your smiling face today have a fantastic week and we thank you The Listener for investing these last 30 minutes with us we.
[32:13] We trusted it is a beneficial investment of time for you with huge Roi this is the game changers podcast.
The game changers unleashing your best in life and work with Eric Bowles and Dale Dixon.
Eric is an executive coach leadership expert change consultant and keynote speaker.
Read his book Moving to great and find him at Eric bulbs.com connect with Dale at Dale Dixon media.com.
[32:42] Music.