The Mess Around
The Mess Around
263 Knee Drama, Toilet Seat Lift, Stepper, Lone Trakkie Dacks, Dressing Gown Etiquette.
Another week rolls by. We're over halfway into the year. Gee, where has the year gone? Huh, ah, yeah, sorry, this is the Mess Around Podcast, welcome. If it's you for the first time, if you've listened more than once, you know what you're in for. Yeah, you're in for hard-hitting, hard-hitting, cutting to the bone type of conversations that just drill down into what the zeitgeist of the street is. That's yeah. I can't keep that going. No, it's just me, richard Stubbs, and on the Gold Coast lounging around in his palatial apartment. The other half of the Mess Around podcast, mr Andrew Hooper.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello all. I love that you can ask the question if you've listened more than once and it's a genuine question to our listeners. It's a genuine. Have you listened more than once? Yeah, well, there are people out there.
Speaker 1:Don't worry, there are people who and I know there are because if any time one of us you stuffs up and doesn't load the podcast on at some point a day, well you're not the one who gets the flack.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is true. I, that is true. I do sometimes, or I sometimes set it to do it and it doesn't.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I go about my day and I get these angry messages and I'm like, oh well, can't do anything about it now I'll get home and do it. Do you know something? Speaking about the year being half over, yes, the other day someone informed me that I think it was July 2nd or something, or something the second month of the 2025. Anyway, the point is we're now closer to 2050 than we are to 2000. Officially.
Speaker 1:Well gosh, all right. Just while we're on that theme, I saw one of those memes. You know, if you could go back in time to when there was no phone and no internet, because you woke up in a simpler time of 1995? What's the first thing you do?
Speaker 2:And I go wait a minute, that's not.
Speaker 1:And then I went oh, it's 30 years, but still it doesn't oh. God, I mean you go through this daily. You go to university and talk to young people.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm actually. I think it's August 28th I'm just off the top of my head but somewhere around that in August there's a re-release of Jaws the movie at the cinema? Yes, I'm like I'm going to that. Oh, 50 years isn't it 50 years? And I went wait, yeah, no it's 50 years, 50 years. Yeah, Jaws is 50 years old.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 1:I know. Well, just on this, it's probably I was wondering when I'd mention this, but I feel like this is appropriate now because we've just talked about this and looked at each other and shuddered. I managed to pop my knee out the other day, did you yep, yep, yep, and I I wasn't doing as usual, did nothing. Really, I was dangling my leg on a stool and then I sort of got off the stool and moved slightly laterally and clunk, my knee locked in the flexed position, in the bent position, but wasn't happy being there Like it was like oh, that's bad, and you've frozen in place. So I had to gently if anyone's ever done this before I had to gently straighten that keep. Oh, geez, that hurts. I've got to because I can't let it sit there. It's going to swell and clunk. And the whole upper part of my legs moved sideways as it clunked back in and I said some things. You know, flocks of birds took off out of the trees in the neighbourhood and you know, children flinched and horses yeah that started.
Speaker 1:It echoed around the neighbourhood and it's been sore ever since, getting better, though I don't know exactly what happened. I think I have to go and see someone about that, because it does it from time to time, just on. You know, when I'm having a good time it just decides I don't. It feels like your knee's dislocated. For those of you who wonder what it feels like, but I'm not sure it actually has it, it could be a ligament twisted around a tendon that's connected to some meniscus. I mean, I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 2:Because I've seen footballers do this and then violently bash their leg to put it back in so they can keep playing. Yeah, did you do that? Did you angrily?
Speaker 1:go after it. I didn't violently bash it, because at the time I was eee in terms of white noise going on, oh, and so I just I knew it couldn't stay where it was and that we had to do something swiftly and by we I meant me and so I gradually kind of tried to straighten the leg and guide it. So it clunked back into position and then felt a bit faint and called for water and a towel.
Speaker 2:This is following up on the 2025 back incident. I understand, completely immobilised it went through my mind as well.
Speaker 1:Yep yep, and my beloved's now gone to 11. Well, you have to see a doctor and you'll need an MRI. And I go, it's and my beloved's now gone to 11. Well, you have to see a doctor and you'll need an MRI, and I go it's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 1:Having said that, the next day I got up early to go boxing and I'd had a shocking night's sleep because it locked out a couple more times overnight and then because I stupidly didn't use a pillow to support my leg. Anyway, stupidly, anyway. So I've got up and I'm oh jeez, I'm limping. I'm limping, it's quite sore and I've got. I don't want to get too graphic, but it's integral in the story. I had to go to the toilet, of course you did, and I realised okay, that's good, that's happened.
Speaker 1:And then, I'm like well, no, I'm fine, I sit down, I'm sitting down.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, that's even worse. I've got to get up from that, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I'm sitting down on the toilet and I go well, better get to boxing. And I go oh, I can't actually. No, I can't push through the bent leg there. I'm in a fair bit the good leg to get up. And at that point I thought should I even be going to boxing? Yeah, and it took. My point is it took that bit before I questioned it. And when I questioned it, I saw my son, who's just a personal trainer, my personal trainer to my personal trainer. To make things worse, his image appeared, like on TV, when you know, the ghost appears pointing at me, going what the hell are you doing? And I went. I don't know, I was just going to do what I always do, and I guess what I'm saying is I reflected as I contacted my boxing mate and said no, mate, not today, knees locked up, and he gave a thumbs up. Yeah, I reflected. Geez, I really didn't think that through. I feel like a smart person would have done something better earlier.
Speaker 2:That's what I feel, I wish I knew what that was. Okay. There's a lot of things I want to unpack. Yeah, first of all, yes, you do. You do a lot of bike riding, a lot of boxing, a lot of physio, a lot of gym. It doesn't appear to be having a positive effect All right. Just as a general rule. Whatever it is you're doing, I'm not sure.
Speaker 1:I tell you what thank goodness for the back injury, because I taught myself a new way of using the toilet paper and I was able to employ that way, because I know what you were thinking. Jeez, how did you manage?
Speaker 2:Well, don't worry about that.
Speaker 1:I've got a new system.
Speaker 2:None of us were First time. None of us were First time I've got a new system in years. I want the listeners to be glad that I'm not going to pursue this, because right now you're desperate to explain your system.
Speaker 1:Well, no, no, in fact, I'm storing it up because if we ever go to video or we can insert video of other sorts and I could maybe do a help video on how to how to.
Speaker 2:You know what you need. I don't. I'm going to contact your beloved and your boy. I'm going to say well, clearly, if he's going to do that and his knee's going to go out, he needs, like a rail, a handrail next to the toilet. That's what he needs.
Speaker 1:A grip bar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like a big stainless steel bar.
Speaker 1:I needs A grip bar, yeah, like a big stainless steel bar. I've been talking to the beloved about getting one of those chairs that go up the stairs, yes, and what I like about them is the speed at which they go. So you've got time and she goes, what would you do? It's going to take hours to go up the stairs and around the corner I said nothing, I just raw dog it, raw dog it. Just sit there staring at you.
Speaker 1:It was like no facial expression and then whip around the corner like the scenic railway or something whoosh around the corner and then Just making eye contact the whole way up. Yeah, I kind of look forward to that.
Speaker 2:Can I just, while we're here, you know the physio that you're still going to? Yeah.
Speaker 1:You do the Pilates. Yeah, when you do the Pilates.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what's that for? Still Is this the?
Speaker 1:back still no, and knee and knee.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, they're going to love this.
Speaker 1:No, I went today and they were like oh gee, that's not ideal. We might get you doing some other stuff today, yeah, Okay, is it the left or the right knee? It's the left. You know what?
Speaker 2:What we should do. It's like football clubs we should have an injury report every week. Okay. We've got to mesh around. Okay, what have we got? Well, we've got ligaments throughout this week.
Speaker 1:I mean, I just feel that the show can't continue forever. My body's, the spirit's willing, but the body's just falling apart. Yeah well, you know what gets me about it. It's falling apart and yet it's done. No hard labour ever.
Speaker 2:Maybe that's something in that. But yes, I know what you mean. You've never picked up a heavy thing. I mean I have.
Speaker 1:I've given it a bit of a swing, the mattock obviously.
Speaker 2:If.
Speaker 1:I can find that. I'll use it again, but somehow it's been put away and I can't find it.
Speaker 2:Well, there's an upside your beloved will have an upside to your constant injuries. You can only do so much damage now because you're completely incapacitated. So swings and roundabouts, that's all I'm saying there.
Speaker 1:Tell you what speaker swings and roundabouts. Her niece contacted us and said oh, I'm moving house, can everyone come around and help? And I said, geez, I'd love to, babe, but I think my neck and my back and my knee would all go out in unison. So I'm afraid I'm going to have to say no to that one and I can't just go along, because you know me, once I'm there I'd want to help and I'll injure myself. I don't trust me to allow me to go along, babe. I ran that argument and, I think, pretty convincingly.
Speaker 2:George Carlin used to say that once you get to a certain age, you don't need an excuse not to do anything. It's great, it's just no, don't want to.
Speaker 1:No, don't want to.
Speaker 2:Okay, I will. I will. I'll draw the attention away from your injuries because, it's getting sad. Now Just for a second.
Speaker 1:I'm getting better, it's better?
Speaker 2:Well, you are, but we've now got you reduced to like a thing, lifting you up the stairs, a seat and a railing.
Speaker 1:I do like that idea, and then later you could gas it up. Oh jeez, so it flings you out at the end.
Speaker 2:Maybe just one of those handles to get you off the toilet, like a chain hanging from the roof and you're just hoist. Anyway, I visualise you constantly like you're in rehab, because you're back from NAMM or something.
Speaker 1:I would come off the toilet as in the reverse position of Bruce Lee going down the rope in Enter the Dragon.
Speaker 2:So for those of you playing along at home, bruce, Lee is shirtless.
Speaker 1:He chooses to slide down the rope into the underground tunnels, but he chooses to go down hand over hand. Yes, that's fine, but for some reason he's sitting out with his legs straight, so he's in a straight out, so it's at a right angle, like why the abs work out, mate. Oh, I don't know, I just thought I could, so I'd have a chain from the roof and I could haul myself up, but I'd be in that position, locked out, with the legs out in front of me.
Speaker 2:That's okay? Probably not, that's unlikely. That's very difficult.
Speaker 1:If anything, I wouldn't screw it into the roof properly. It'd come away and it'd fall heavily on me and I'd crash to the ground.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or I'd imagine you'd have the leg the knee that can't bend or won't bend, just sticking out straight, and you'll be standing on the other one, using that to push yourself up while using your arms. So it appears as though you're doing the Bruce Lee and go ha, look at this love. But in fact you've only got one leg out.
Speaker 1:Too much thought. I am happy eating whatever my beloved cooks for me, because there's no chance she's going to bother with a Beef Wellington special, because she just has to wait and she knows that oh no, you'll break. So no need for me to give this a push, I'll just let him try to. You know, walk and breathe, I know.
Speaker 2:You have this procession of injuries and it's never fell off the bike. No, god, no, I had to hand to hand For the bear no, no.
Speaker 1:It's just. I stood up, yeah, I turned around. I was sitting on a chair and then went to move and my body went. How?
Speaker 2:dare you. If it was me, I'd be like where are all these injuries coming from? Well, I'm secretly Batman at night.
Speaker 1:That's right, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Getting smacked up. Yeah, all right. Well, I have had my Sad. My gym people haven't asked about the Jackman for a while.
Speaker 1:People are a bit sad. I've been reached out to. People have slid into my DMs just going oh, mate Roper and the Jackman. It's the saddest thing in the world.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And I go. It is, and we've had to stop talking about it because he's getting nowhere and it's just. It's like watching a kid just pushing against the door marked pull. It's like watching a kid just pushing against the door marked pull, we can't stand it anymore.
Speaker 2:All right, okay, yes, all right. Yes, we'll swing back. Yes, I have had inquiries about the Jackman. I've had people say is that still going?
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right? No, it's really not. We put it on the back burner, we didn't.
Speaker 2:We just moved it aside. There's actually. He doesn't listen, so who cares? Actually, a big hello to a kid called Ryan at uni. He said I'll come to the gym with you. I said sure. So I said, and I'm showing him some stuff, all right. And he's been doing it for a number of weeks. He's getting good. Now I'm like, oh, you've got to stop now, because you're that far from being stronger than me after six weeks. Yeah, I said all right, this is sad. I'm embarrassed.
Speaker 1:Did he explain to you about the power of testosterone and how when you're low T, you don't get to achieve anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know I can't teach him anything. Once he can outlift me, it's like no, I'd get out of my way, old man. But I've discovered my joints are all getting better because I'm not lifting heavy things. I'm not lifting heavy things, I'm not really heavy things. I've discovered my new favourite piece of gym equipment. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:That's nice. Everyone's got a favourite. Yeah, sure Some people.
Speaker 2:It's the leg abductor one where you push your knees out wide and do that. That's stupid. A lot of people like that one.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:A bit like the rowy one.
Speaker 1:I reckon there's no one who likes the Stairmaster. I see people on those things and I just think no, this is my.
Speaker 2:I'm the man.
Speaker 1:What I am the one. Is that your piece of equipment?
Speaker 2:I am the lord of the Stairmaster.
Speaker 1:No, you're not.
Speaker 2:I am the one.
Speaker 1:So wait a minute. Why are you on the Stairmaster? You're nine foot tall and rake thin, and now you're going to get a bubble butt. That's the strangest looking thing. Why would?
Speaker 2:you want that developed. I can't. My feet don't quite fit on the steps either.
Speaker 1:No, of course not. It's like Sideshow Bob trying to go on the Stairmaster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that doesn't work.
Speaker 2:Why would you want? You don't want Two things, oh God, no two things. One because you can just put it on like one or two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, still, though, and you're still doing something.
Speaker 2:right, you're just looking around. But two, because I started doing it and I realized I went oh wait, this is elevator training is what this is.
Speaker 1:This is me getting ready for when the elevator goes out in my building, okay, and suddenly I have to shoot up, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I figured out how much my dog weighs and I've gone and found a dumbbell that weighs about the same as my dog.
Speaker 1:Yeah, weighs the same. Yeah, I'm hanging it. Just hold it, cradling it in one arm. And every now and then it wriggles.
Speaker 2:Right, and then I get the phone and I ring Peter and to panic and yell abuse at me. While I'm doing it, he goes oh my God, everything, oh my God. And I just walk up like I'm walking up steps.
Speaker 1:Two things. First of all, incredibly, that makes sense. I think physios talk about exercise. That is the same exercise as the action that you're trying to do. Like you know, you learn to stand up and sit down, and it's purpose I don't know. I forget what it is.
Speaker 2:Anyway you're doing that.
Speaker 1:And the other thing is, I can't believe a part of me mentioned the Stairmaster as opposed to the Easy Bar or something, and it was the piece of equipment that you're about.
Speaker 2:That's weird, that's strange. Spot on, I did 50 floors the other day. Why? Because now I know Were you just soaked in sweat.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, just pouring off. Were people flinching around you? Was it relentlessly on the? Did you have your rubber band of dorkiness to hold your steamed up blasters on your head, is it?
Speaker 2:I love it. I mean to be fair. Next to me there's all nubile fit people with it on 11. Hey hey, hey, hey. She's running up it like this with her headphones on, and I'm just Got the Kate Bush on Plank, plank, plank, you're running up that hill I go very slow. This might be your thing.
Speaker 1:You know your brother beats you on almost every level and I know that that's a real cross you have to bear because he's like, it's like a living booper ad, you know, Look at that one.
Speaker 2:That one's just a bit better than that one.
Speaker 1:He does, anyway, but this could be your thing. You could practice this and then you could go on those races where you see dudes who are interviewed afterwards. Yeah, he ran all the way up the top of the Gold Coast Towers. He just, oh, he never stopped. Yeah, it was a race. I took it two at a time and I just ran the stairs.
Speaker 2:They said do you want?
Speaker 1:to take the lift down. I went. No, I'm walking down. You know those guys, no, no. Next time people come to my house, next time my brother comes to my house and then quietly get in the lift.
Speaker 2:You'll get in the lift, yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I get in the lift A I don't want 38 floors of stairs and B. I want to emerge open doors and I'm in your living room.
Speaker 2:Well, all I'm saying is you want a piece of equipment at the gym that does functionally something that you need, right? So, I'm on the stair, master. What you need is the toilet master. You need a piece of equipment.
Speaker 1:I think that's just a chair, really. Isn't it A chair, right? I don't think it has to be a toilet.
Speaker 2:Get your boy to attach a cable right to a weight machine above you and then heave to get yourself up. That's all I'm saying. Functional training, it's the way to go One-legged.
Speaker 1:Can you do a one-legged stand from a sitting position?
Speaker 2:Well, I can. Yes, can you Invalid? Yes, can you? Yes, I can.
Speaker 1:Really Easy, I feel like I want you to go to the toilet now, sit on it and just try to get off only using one leg. I don't think that's easy, because you're at right angles for a start.
Speaker 2:A lot of people feel like they want to go to the toilet. Listening to this podcast, it happens a lot.
Speaker 1:I don't reckon that's as easy as you just said. I'm certain it isn't.
Speaker 2:No, it is. Look, if we want to, it is, but you have to lean forward.
Speaker 1:No, you just start and then you've got to push, obviously even leaning forward, because you lean forward, but that's just. Your impossibly narrow shoulders have come forward. Your ass is still out at right angles and that's out the back. And the muscle to ass ratio just isn't there. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I know I'm a big triangle. I know this. When I have to lean, I can't do things.
Speaker 1:I'm just a big yes. Well, look, not now, not now. Well, actually it could be now, but later. After you've listened to this podcast, go sit on the toilet and just even get off in one motion one motion with one foot off the ground. All right, I see what I did there yes, okay, we'll leave that.
Speaker 2:That wasn't my, that was not. No, it wasn't okay.
Speaker 1:But still, anyway, it's good that you've got a favourite bit of gym equipment. I mean it's nothing that's going to help with the Jackson, but it is. Jackman but it is something that could potentially see you right the next time there's a crisis, it'll be an emergency, I'll be ready.
Speaker 2:Now this is tangentially associated with the gym. It's not really, but it's sort of a little bit. So when I go to the gym and I have my gym attire, and you know it's sort of winter gym attire.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:God, so I occasionally wear the trackie-dacks.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, I never lower myself to trackie-dack.
Speaker 2:At the gym.
Speaker 1:No, you're always shorted up.
Speaker 2:Shorted up. Do you ever go the tight, the long? Oh, I've done that occasionally.
Speaker 1:Anyway this is a whole different issue, but anyway so I said to the beloved the other day Are you in your tights on the Stairmaster?
Speaker 2:No, I wasn't the other day.
Speaker 1:Are you singing out with your headphones on going, lance, get Fans out. Yeah, a bit of that, fans out.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's the terry-toweling headband.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:So I said to the beloved the other day I said you know the tracky-dacks, I've worn them on the stairmaster. I get a bit sweaty and I said and I do tend to wear them around a lot, you know, because it's winter I do tend to wear them. She said, yes, and they are lying on the floor next to the bed in case as soon as I.
Speaker 1:Yeah the burglar pant.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the burglar pant. She said yeah. I said I just I wear them constantly. And she said yeah. I said do you think I should get another pair Right?
Speaker 1:And she said she reacted so violently, she's so just yes, oh, jeez, yes, wow, you should Look out, you should yes, yes, you should, yes, yes yes, so okay, this is interesting. No, no, because how long have you been? So you've just got the one pair, not an inside. You don't have an inside one and then one you wear to gym, no, oh, okay, well, that's bad. And how long has Old Faithful been around?
Speaker 2:Oh, these have been at least pre-plague at least. Oh, probably five, six, seven, they've got to be seven or eight years, I reckon, easy.
Speaker 1:Well, it's 50 years since Jaws. Were you wearing them when Jaws came out? I?
Speaker 2:wasn't wearing them when Jaws came out. They have been replaced. I did, you can tell you beloved this. I did have a Collingwood pair when I was in London. I had the Rock and the Collingwood trackie-dacks. Gee, that got me some looks, but they went eventually. But these ones have gone the inner lining is gone Like the outside looks okay, but the inside no. No one would want to look inside them. There's no mesh holding anything.
Speaker 1:No, Nothing's being held in place. I think I'm going to go out on a limb and say you need two pairs, you need comfy no one can see me I'm lounging around the house pair and then you need your quite sleek. Look at this. Is that a brand? No, it's misspelled, but it looks like it's copied a brand. Go to gym trackie. They're not the same, because one is boggy bum and the other one ain't.
Speaker 1:So I think you need two two pairs and the ones that you're wearing now. You need to set them on fire and throw them off the balcony.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's most likely yes, the Neville does not ever want to see them again. No with her.
Speaker 1:I never want to hear about them again because I don't think they're washed all that often either. Oh no, they need to be available at all times, that's my point they're always on call, so there's no time they can be wet. No, no, I understand straight away. No, not true, and no, that's bad, no.
Speaker 2:And sometimes you can sleep in them if you really want to, if you're really cold. They're just multi-purpose. But I never go. What you're referring to as the boggy bum, fleecy ones I always go. Oh, he's probably an athlete, he hasn't given up. No, he's probably an athlete, that's why he's wearing them.
Speaker 1:There's a lot there that I need to deal with and I just don't feel the podcast's going to give us enough time.
Speaker 2:No, I'm equipped, I can tell you. Well, I'm just saying I have one at the moment. I think one is the appropriate amount.
Speaker 1:No Old Faithful needs to be taken out like old Yella. You know, two go into the forest, one comes back.
Speaker 2:And you need to buy two.
Speaker 1:They don't have to be fleecy because you can't stand the heat. They don't have to be fleecy, but they have to be a looser, more comfortable trouser pant, and then they've got to be a slick. I mean, the ones around the home could be velour, they could be essential velour, if you wanted and you could prowl around, which it would amuse the shit out of me, but the ones at the gym have to be.
Speaker 1:You know they're a nice brand. Yeah, I think they are, or certainly are very close to a brand. Just while we're talking clothing, it brings up something I wanted to bring up how often do you dressing gown? How often?
Speaker 2:Oh, okay. Okay, yes, you've raised a point there.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:This is an issue at my place. Okay, there was a time when I was especially in London where I would dressing gown. Oh, a lot, a lot, okay, a lot Like I remember my….
Speaker 1:We're seeing a real image of you just unemployed in London in your Collingwood tracksuit Dax and just wearing your dressing gown? Yes, and your beloved coming home from a hard day at work and you're still in the Collingwood tracksuit and the dressing gown and just making another cup of tea talking about something someone said online.
Speaker 2:Well, I clearly remember her sister. Her sister-in-law came around once and the dressing gown was hanging up somewhere and she walked past and went hey, andrew, she didn't. She just saw the dressing gown and she just assumed it was me. She went oh no, it's not you, it's just the dressing gown. What about?
Speaker 1:now, though, what about? Now? You're in God's own country. The sun shines, you're up the top. When you get up in the morning, do you slip the dressing gown on? No, over an evening watching TV, does the dressing gown go on. When would you dressing gown?
Speaker 2:now. Now I've cut back, I've had to. There's been an intervention.
Speaker 1:There was an intervention. All right, yeah, you can't wear that all day.
Speaker 2:All right, but now I only wear it like when I'm finished I had a shower and then I'll dressing gown and put on all this sort of and I walk around like that and that's fine.
Speaker 1:But then I've been told I have to put clothes on. Well, are there tracksuit pants under the dressing gown?
Speaker 2:or do you just?
Speaker 1:stroll around in a bit of a shorty dressing gown and an attitude, and that's about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it's the Gold Coast.
Speaker 1:I know that. That's why I'm asking the question.
Speaker 2:All right, okay, If you must know okay.
Speaker 1:Well, we need to know. It's science.
Speaker 2:All right, okay. So if you come to my place, there's only over the course of 24 hours there's only three possible outfits. There will be the dressing gown, probably with a towel around my waist right, and then the dressing gown on top of that.
Speaker 1:Okay, Then you go. Well, that's it. That's weird. Why have you got the wet towel? Why aren't you tracky-dacking?
Speaker 2:Because I put the towel on and then I go well, I can't walk around just a towel. No, you can't. What if someone comes to the elevator? What if you?
Speaker 1:dried yourself off and just put the dressing gown on. I can't be bothered.
Speaker 2:So then I Either that, or the tracky decks right which are there in case of, and then the only other third option is actual clothes.
Speaker 1:See, I've been in my tracky deck and comfy top, long-sleeve top, but I've been a bit chilled and I didn't know what to do. And then I put my dressing gown on and went wow, now I'm warm, this is lovely. But I caught sight of myself in the mirror and I felt less about myself. Yeah, okay, I thought that's a low bar. Your beloved can't look on that with fondness. And then I went round to my boy's place and he's always loved a dressing gown, since I got him a Boba Fett one.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, that's a whole different thing.
Speaker 1:He wore the Boba Fett. He wore the Fett man dressing gown just nonstop and then eventually, I think it all fell apart or rotted or crawled away somewhere or fell in a sarlacc pit or something.
Speaker 1:But now he's got another one. He's got a velvety soft kind of I don't know what it is. I didn't get that close. Here's the point, though. I went around during the day, kind of I don't know what it is, I didn't get that close. Here's the point, though. I went around during the day. He's in his dressing gown, yeah, but he's in between. He's had a shower, he's worked out, he's worked in the morning he did some admin and then he went for a swim and then he showered and he's just about to get into his work clothes to go into the second half of the day. He's lounging in dressing gown. Yes, it's a daytime dressing gown, that's what it is. Well, I feel like he's allowed to. I mean, he's in his own home and he's 33. I feel like he's allowed to and he's been busy. But at the same time, god, it looks. What does it look? It looks luxe, it looks very. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2:Anyway, I was startled by it. It's very great Gatsby.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's very great, gatsby. Thank you, that's what I was flailing.
Speaker 2:What is that? What is that?
Speaker 1:I mean, he's a step away from, yeah, a man of leisure. He fortunately has the tracky-dacks on under which I felt is the appropriate way to wear a dressing gown, particularly a shortish one. You're relaxed but ready. You're relaxed but ready. And should the dressing gown fall open, you don't hear that high-pitched scream like a rabbit caught in a trap when your beloved happens to glance around at the wrong time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't do that. No, yeah, you wouldn't. So is your dressing gown, just quickly, the one you threw on because you were cold, which is odd. We're talking mine's just. It's very toweling, it's thin, it's not like stolen from a hotel.
Speaker 1:It's a given that yours is as old as Jaws and threadbare and nasty and looks like something that would be rejected at the Brotherhood bin when you put it yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's time to upgrade. No, but my beloved bought me a it's kind of a soft thing dressing gown. Embarrassingly, it's got my name embroidered on it. Oh, okay, okay, I don't know why that I know whose it is and I know who I am. I feel like that's future-proofing for when I'm in a home or something.
Speaker 2:And it's like oh, that's Richard. So is it pink and fluffy or is it plush velvet?
Speaker 1:No, no, it's plush Purple, it's plush brown, it's manly brown.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, has it got your name in gold.
Speaker 1:Yes, what's the thing? Okay, just over the breast, not across the back like a boxing one. I'd enjoy that, but no, it doesn't. We would like that.
Speaker 2:Okay, now we're getting an image. So now you're shuffling around the house with that on and one leg yeah okay, well, we didn't have to mention the one leg. I did Like, I said yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It would be, but jeez on tiling floor, your tissue boxes go straight out from under you when you're wearing them on your feet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, all the jars, anyway, okay, well, okay, good, no, yeah, look, I'm all for the dressing gown. Okay, but if you're throwing it over normal clothes because you're cold, that's questionable. Okay, all right. If you're using it as a bathroom thing, yeah, as a transition from bathroom to. It's a transition. That's what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a transition garment and what I'm hearing from you is that when you abuse the transition garment and it's just worn night and day with a pair of threadbare old tracksuit pants that support a team that's far away- yeah, yeah, yeah, that's wrong.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did that. All right. Okay, okay, all right.
Speaker 1:No, you bring that up. No, I think it's a transition garment. That's what I'm writing down here.
Speaker 2:Speaking of the team that no one supports and is far away. I have come to a. It's a revelation, but it's full circle. I've gone oh, of course. Of course, it just hit me right between the eyes, so you'd be aware that Collingwood played last week. Yes, you're usually aware when they play.
Speaker 1:Yes, I am so it doesn't escape you.
Speaker 2:No, and that was on the Gold Coast right.
Speaker 1:I wasn't there.
Speaker 2:No, I know I wasn't there, couldn't believe it, yeah, and so what I did was I was going home from the gig, which was near the ground, and all this stuff and I thought oh, who can I?
Speaker 2:uh, who can I involve in this and who can I? So I sent a message to your beloved right to say, oh, this looks bad, like all right, that just didn't know who was gonna, and and then, and the game finishing everything. And you know, usually you'll send that sort of a message. You know you might get something, you might not. And then you get straight back, bang, oh, I tell you what. Oh, he was doing that. Look, he should drop him. He can't kick and this is hard.
Speaker 1:Oh, you got the coaching theories and you got the player common free Bullet points.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I went oh okay, and I looked at it for a while and I thought about it and I went, yes, and you know what? And I straight back, send, and I waited, and then straight back again and went on back and forth, and back and forth and I thought this is good, because I've got no one. Who do I usually talk about? I talk to the nebble, but she won't even sit in the room with me when.
Speaker 2:I'm watching a game she just leaves the dog cowers under the bed and everything. I talk to my mother about Collingwood but she's not.
Speaker 1:No, she's too nice.
Speaker 2:She's too nice. She's a lovely boy.
Speaker 1:They're all lovely boys, even if the ball's bounced on the ground and hit him in the face and then he's fallen over and they've grabbed it and kicked a goal.
Speaker 2:What a lovely boy, though, what a lovely boy, yeah, yeah. So, I can't and she doesn't get deep into the tactics and none of that. So I realise something.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think what you're really saying is she doesn't take it personally and you take it personally. My beloved takes it personally, God knows Absolutely 100%. And I'm just sitting on the couch nodding occasionally when I get these rants. But she can see the lights out of my eyes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh no, I said to her at one point. I said why don't you have these conversations with Richard? He's right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she laughed out loud. She laughed and said he's just a kid. Well, that explains a lot. First of all, she went very quiet and was tapping away and then muttering to herself and I just quietly left and, you know, went and played Dark Urge style Baldur's Gate for a while and then she's all G'd up. And I came out of that and she greeted me with the excited news I bought us tickets to go along and see Collingwood play at the G oh, and I went. What? And?
Speaker 2:she went. Yeah, Are you excited?
Speaker 1:Collingwood are playing Brisbane, so we're going. And I said, oh okay, are you going to wear your jumper? And she went am I wearing my jumper? I've. Are you going to wear your jumper? And she went am I wearing my jumper? I've already been online to get all the rest of the gear. And I'm like what are you going as? And she said well, you have to come because someone's got to help me on the train. And my son said don't go on the train. He said, just take your car.
Speaker 1:I go. The train's like 20 minutes and he goes. No, because someone and he did that thing where you hide your hand and you point with the other hand, pointing at my beloved. Someone's going to mouth off on the train. Oh, yes, and I said yeah, but hang on a sec. It's Collingwood v Brisbane. Everyone who's going to mouth off on that train will be dressed in Collingwood colours, including her, and there'll be no one supporting Brisbane.
Speaker 2:So we'll be fine, maybe, anyway.
Speaker 1:So I blame you for this, because you've G'd her up with your highfalutin talk. And now it's not enough that I had to go to a night of the day, costas, the day guy Q&A, I've now got to go to the G and, don't worry, I'll be sitting somewhere horrendous. I'll be sitting with the folk who just spit and scream and point angrily at the umpire. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to wear anything. Collingwood, are you going to paint your?
Speaker 1:face. No, I'm not going to wear anything. Collingwood.
Speaker 2:Are you going to paint your face? No, is there a chance of?
Speaker 1:that I'm not.
Speaker 2:I am not. I've got stuff spare if you want, because I know what my beloved will do?
Speaker 1:She'll go no, you're in, I'm in and I'll go, that's not how this works. Yes, I'll be next to you. Yes, that's fine you sort of blend in I'll tell the man to stop yelling at you, you know once it starts and stuff, yes, but I'm not wearing. I draw the line at having to wear Collingwood gear. I just no, I won't, I can't, I won't.
Speaker 2:Well, look, your beloved has just gone up even further in my estimation now she's done that. Now she's gone. The next step? Yeah, because? Because what occurred to me was I like I should you're living, I prefer to do you're you're living the dream. I prefer to watch football with your beloved is what I'm saying. Rather than like we should, we should watch. And then I realized, oh, of course I should sit and watch collingwood games with your beloved. And then I realized, oh, my god, I think I like her better than you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just went hang on a minute. Yeah, everyone does. Yeah, okay, hang on, I see where we're at.
Speaker 2:You say this a lot and I think, no, that's not fair. But now I've suddenly realised actually no, it's a real thing.
Speaker 1:Think about it, it's a thing. The next stage of this relationship will be, as the siren goes, you ring her and she's on headphones and you both can just watch the game, commentating while you're watching to each other, but in different rooms and states, and that way I can level up in Baldur's Gate and not have to be concerned.
Speaker 2:I mean, this is I mean. Does she want to start a podcast? I'd be happy to if she wants to do a Collingwood podcast. Honestly, I'm enjoying this is this is I mean. Does she want?
Speaker 1:to start a podcast. I'd be happy to. Yeah, probably she wants to do a Collingwood podcast. Honestly, I'm enjoying this less and less. I've got to be honest with you.
Speaker 2:That's a no-bad idea. Your beloved and I are just banging out a.
Speaker 1:Collingwood podcast Black and white.
Speaker 2:You can sit in the back there. It's tea and stuff when you're one leg. Yeah, righto, okay, sorry, it's gone too far.
Speaker 1:No, I get it.
Speaker 2:But yes, at this end the nebel was very happy, she went. Yeah, no fine.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, but I don't care, because do you know what? I've still not heard anything about the nebel and the lovely gift of warming socks, Lovely gift yep, greater love hath no man than he getteth you warming socks when thou doth complain of the chilly feet.
Speaker 2:She talks about it a lot. I really should send Richard a picture of the socks. She's very busy.
Speaker 1:Really, because I feel like her friends probably hear from her. You know she'd be like the phone's never out of her hand.
Speaker 2:How hard is it to text and go.
Speaker 1:Thanks, there's a picture.
Speaker 2:Well, hang on a minute, honestly. Let's consider how hard she works. Let's consider it's a text.
Speaker 1:Come on, hang on. You're just saying that because you don't understand what she does, so you just imagine it's very difficult and time consuming.
Speaker 2:I have no idea what she does, but she carries me on her back. There's no doubt about that. It's got to wear her down a bit.
Speaker 1:Speaking of which, while she's busy toiling in the salt mines, I wanted to ask you have you got out? There was some talk off air of you trying to get to the movies. Have you achieved that goal? Have you gone to the movies at all? Yeah, yeah, you have All right. What did?
Speaker 2:you go see. Well, all right, I'll tell you what I saw first. I saw the new Superman because it's Superman, so you can't go wrong there and I saw Brad Pitt Formula.
Speaker 1:One oh drives fast.
Speaker 2:A lot of fast cars, so I knocked them both off in one day.
Speaker 1:Okay, jeez, what a day. What a day, I feel like that didn't bring you any closer to finishing your Masters.
Speaker 2:None what's nowhere near no technically Was that a cheat day or something?
Speaker 1:Was that your day off from constant Masters work?
Speaker 2:Constant, non-stop. I've been a bit of a lull. But anyway I don't even have a lull from nothing, but I'm lulling from nothing.
Speaker 1:No, I don't even have a lull from nothing, but I'm lulling from nothing, no, okay, well, give us your thoughts.
Speaker 2:Oh, thoughts on the movies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, briefly, Superman.
Speaker 2:yes, no, yeah, very, very much a James Gunn movie If you know what, james Gunn? Makes. If you like, James Gunn, you'll like it. It's not your dad Superman, but very comic book-y. Okay, watchable and fun, but very different, very sort of colourful.
Speaker 1:People because America divides itself into left and right, and you just have to take a position and then yell at the other person, God, anyway. They described it as being woke, Superman's woke, and I thought to myself and I'm not an aficionado as such in Superman lore, but even I know most comics and certainly Superman was always about all that stuff. And so they don't know. The man of steel is what I'm going to say.
Speaker 2:It's true, but I don't want to spoil it at all. No, don't spoil it, but no, it's not all the things they're saying oh, it's going to be this and that, no, no, but it is very much from a comic book, so there's giant monsters in it and there's colourful stuff and there's weird things going on. And the Superman in this is much more a normal guy than it is the other ones. He's not as comfortable.
Speaker 1:It's very much me, just a normal guy with amazing powers, pretty much you with amazing powers Does he ever struggle to get? One-legged off the toilet.
Speaker 2:Oh, constantly.
Speaker 1:Here's my thought about Superman, and I've said this to the boy a lot. And then we saw it happen in Thor that there's no reason for Superman to look buff. He gets his power from the yellow sun. He could look like that final scene in Dodgeball. Yes, nervous, he could look like that. And still, fast as light heat vision, lift a fridge without popping his knee. That's true, he doesn't need to be buff. No, that's not anyway, I'm just pointing that out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but he's sort of buff because he worked on a farm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but he's not farm buffed. Farmers don't look as jacked as him. They've got that sort of not particular strength and then they lift a cow on a fence post.
Speaker 2:Have a look at the new guy, because his suit doesn't. We're going into too much detail, but his suit doesn't have like muscles in it, like all the other muscles.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, henry Cavill, bless him had like muscles and stuff under the suit Unnecessary, I would have thought.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's got. Yeah, but this is he looks. Just you know he's all right. You know thing that when you go and see a film, whatever it is, you watch it.
Speaker 1:You sort of get into the character and you walk out going.
Speaker 2:yeah, that's like you just did then, like he's just like me. He's just like me with a cape.
Speaker 1:I saw Mission Impossible and it had a lot of Tom Cruise running past with his fingers pointed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I thought to myself yeah, I couldn't run like that.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I actually that, yeah, I can't even fantasize that much. All right, that's depressing, that's sad.
Speaker 2:And then I saw Brad Pitt driving fast cars. Yeah, now what was that like?
Speaker 1:Because I'm going to send the beloved off. You know cars I don't have any care for cars, none whatsoever. But she and her girlfriend, they're right into it. So I said the two of you should go to Brad Pitt and race cars with a higher octane soundtrack.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's very much Top Gun with race cars, but that's actually one of the strong points of it is that you do get right into the whole Formula One world and the cars and you go, oh okay, and you sort of go there's a lot of cars a lot of cars but you sort of get more of an understanding of it.
Speaker 1:Lots of montage yeah well, jan and her love that. They're all about it and I nah. They often say that they could take my car and just replace it with any old black car, and if they put the presets on the radio I wouldn't notice, I'd just get in and go. It's the same.
Speaker 2:That's true, but you might like it because it's always old and he can't do it anymore. Yeah, yeah, no, I see what you're doing, all right.
Speaker 1:Surely you mentioned just before we started this. You said you broke your own rule, my own rule, yeah.
Speaker 2:I have a rule with movies is when people say to me oh, we should go and see whatever it is. Yes, it is, yes, Superman. Oh, we'll go. I'll go and see that with you, okay, good, all right, or I'll wait. No, don't, I'll go and see that with you, right? So my rule is don't do that, just go and see it yourself. As soon as the movie comes out, go and see it don't wait, because if you wait, people let you down every time it's not that oh, no, no, weak, no, no, and then you miss it or you spoil it.
Speaker 1:No, I don't care. That's a very bleak philosophy, I've got to say.
Speaker 2:Very bleak. I'm not going to the movies with you.
Speaker 1:I want you to understand that, whoever you are, it doesn't matter, but you would allow certain people to come to the movies with you, but you're not going to go to the movies with them. Is that what? You're saying but that's not why I'm going. Because you're not going to wait for them to be ready and then go with them.
Speaker 2:No, that's what you're telling me. If you delay me in any way from getting to the film, then I don't, because I just get grumpy. Then I might be happy. But for the Jaws 50th anniversary, if I go, I'm going. If you want to come, if someone wants to come with me, sure, but don't speak to me and don't interrupt me. Don't bring your laptop.
Speaker 1:I mean that does sound like a fun night out. I'm going to say those parameters.
Speaker 2:Oh, now I haven't got a listener of the week now and the music started.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, it's very late. You ran off on your film. Well, have you got one ready?
Speaker 2:No, because no one responded to the Jean-Claude Van Damme playlist, which means that the Steven Seagal playlist is not going up until I get someone positively response.
Speaker 1:Well, so they go on Spotify and.
Speaker 2:No, no, they just go to the bio in Instagram. In the bio is the link.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so it's a trick to get them to.
Speaker 2:It's said, link in bio. It's said link in bio. It's said Anyway. All right, it's almost like you don't care. That's all I'm saying listeners All right.
Speaker 1:There he goes. Meanwhile, for the rest of you, one leg in the air. Try and get off the toilet. I don't think it's as easy as he accidents. I'll know what's happening. Anyway, it's not important, better go. That's time you're not going to get back.