In the Ring with Billy Moore
In the Ring with Billy Moore
We are all connected
Billy Moore gets in the ring with Larry Kesslin, the Chief Connector at Spire. They discuss true joy, human connection and the goal of finding your purpose in life. Larry shares his belief system, his experiences and his life lessons. Larry says "brilliance is equally distributed, but opportunity is not."
Anybody can use foundation teaches our youth to step off into life with their best foot forward without cowardice, but with courage and dignity. ABC was founded by legendary Light Heavyweight Champion Archie Moore in 1957. He had a heart and passion for helping the youth. He believed if we went into the business of prevention, we could save billions of dollars and millions of lives. He started ABC to teach you the basic ABCs of life. Are you concerned about the world today? Do you want to help train our youth to be the change needed in the world? Join us in the fight for equality in the fight for justice in the fight for our youth. If you would like to help, go to www.abcyouthfoundation.org that's www.ABCyouthfoundation .org, be well and be blessed.
Billy Moore :Good morning. Good morning. Welcome. Welcome to being in the ring with Billy Moore, where we'll talk not only about boxing, but we'll talk about life in the ring. Because when a boxer is in the ring his whole life flashes through his mind at times. So, welcome this morning.
Larry Kesslin :My name is Larry Kesslin. And my title is chief connector. So I'm a professional business development and resource I run a community here in San Diego called spire and I also do some business development for companies. And I've just been on this journey for the last I don't know I left on my own. I've been an entrepreneur since 1993. So my last corporate job was with the General Electric Company back in the late 80s, early 90s. And I just felt like a number. And I needed to leave. And I went out on my own at 29. And I've been on this amazing journey ever since. So, a week from tomorrow, I turn 67. I tell people all the time, when I moved to California, I gained 10 years of my life. So the last decade that I've lived here, I kind of take is free. I just added a 10 years of my life by moving from New York City to San Diego. And it's been a great ride. So my greatest joy in life is helping others get what they want. And that's what I get to do every day is help connect people to others that they need to meet and help businesses grow and help organizations grow. I've been very focused on this. I call it the intersection of business and purpose. A lot of people think that capitalism is a is a chat. And I truly believe that capitalism is the solution. And greed is the challenge, that money is a good thing. And making money is a good thing. But what people choose to do with it is the challenge. So and I don't know, I've just met some amazing people on my journey, including Bob Copeland, who I know you know very well, and been running around San Diego for about 10 years just trying to find other people that are interested in the same things that I'm interested in. Because when I find people that have shared purpose, I feel like the connection is much more instantaneous. So my purpose is to I guess the easiest way to describe it is to leave this planet better than I found it. So that's my that's my journey every day. So I knew that
Billy Moore :you spoke about Copeland but of course, is a very extraordinary human being. Yeah, and he's a guy that We think a lot of ABC, he's a guy that's made a big difference in my life, yeah, see it again, is that it chooses to make a difference in people's lives versus just trying to take what the world owes him, which is, I hear that a lot from people I need what I deserve this or the world owes me something. We're not only we're not own anything, we are here as a gift.
Larry Kesslin :World is unfolding in front of us and we get to either experience it or not.
Billy Moore :With part of New York,
Larry Kesslin :I was born and Queen lives the first five years of my life on Long Island. We moved when I was like six months old. It was a very traumatic experience in my life. When I moved when I was six months old, I remember clearly like, I'm just kidding. And then we ended up in Florida for a year when I was sick in the seven My dad's business didn't survive in Florida. We ended up in New Jersey, the age of seven through 29. I was in New Jersey, pretty much most of the time, a year and a half in Pittsburgh, right out of college, but most of my time there and then I ended up in New York City in 1992. And spent a good part of seven, eight years in the city met my wife. Then we moved up to Riverdale in the Bronx. I don't know if you know where that is, but just north of Manhattan. And we lived there for 12 years, we brought two children into the world. So I have a 20 year old daughter who was born in April of 2000. So it's really easy to know how old she is the need to know the year and whether it's before her after her birthday. And then about 1819 months later, we had our second child about two months after 911 so I was living in New York City during 911. That was probably I would say there's some some moments in my life that have made me who And that is definitely one of them.
Billy Moore :Yeah. 911 that's a that's a date of my birthday.
Larry Kesslin :Um, 910. So, yeah, yeah, we have something we have something in common.
Billy Moore :I like what you said about making this a better place than it was we can't. What would you if you were lucky? rhuepo like red, white, yellow and brown. In this chaos, and then just that's going on? What message would you give?
Larry Kesslin :Um, I guess the easiest message that I would share is that we're all connected. We're not individuals, we're actually one being. That's just I think that we're so connected in so many different ways. I come from privilege like I, I grew up in a middle class, Jewish family in New Jersey and had everything I needed, and much more. It wasn't a question of whether I was going to college it was where, and I've had a very blessed life. And every time I travel around the world, I mean, I've been to Africa, I've been to Southeast Asia. I've been to Australia, New Zealand, I've been to Europe, and I've been to so many different places around the world. And every time I go someplace, I realized that I think the United States I'm so I came back, I, the messages were connected, and that we're not living in this isolated world. And we drive into our garages and we close the door and we think we're in our own little world and we're not. We're dependent, so dependent on each other. To see it, I must feel like we're in 40 years of chasing gold statues and we've lost our way and it's time to get back So the reason that we're actually here, which is community and connect deeply as human being, that this rugged individualism that our country is so is so proud of, does not help us as people. I don't think it serves the community. I don't think it serves the individual. I think we've been brainwashed to believe that it does, but not Not a chance. That's not how the world works at all. So kind of in this place now, I went to Africa in 2012. I spent a month in Uganda and Kenya installing computers in some rural villages, many young man that we've actually sponsored that lives here now that that's a whole nother story. His name is Armstrong. But when I was there, I met people that were truly joyful, and truly engaged in life. And they had so much less than anybody I know in this country. And then six weeks later after I got back, so I spent a month with these inner city kids, these inner these rural villages with these people that I had. Never met from Adam. And they were just so there's just something in their eyes that we don't have as a culture that six weeks later I go to a conference in Mexico called opportunity collaboration is about 400 people trying to solve world poverty. And I was asked three questions when I got there. What is poverty? And who gets to define it? And why are we trying to fix it. And this is like six weeks after I got back from one of the most life changing experiences, and in my 50 plus years on this planet, and I'm sitting there saying who's poor, and who's just impoverished. And it was in that moment in late 2012, that I realized that we as a country, in my opinion, are poor. And the people that I visited in Uganda and Kenya were just impoverished because they had something that I really wanted. So I've spent the last seven, eight years of my life trying to find that and the message that I would send to people is that it's all about love or fear. And in many cases right now we're choosing fear. And love is all about connection. It's about being open hearted. It's big. It's about being available for other people in a way that you just don't see every day. That's what we need. That's,
Billy Moore :that's timing. off and on. I do missionary work. I spent a lot of the time on missions in Uganda. And in Kenya. Yeah, that's where I spent a lot of time. And those things that you just just touched on. About Love. Love is vitally, vitally important. And over that country, when you meet people, that's the first thing that you see in their eyes. Is love you, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Larry Kesslin :The net that they have, I have a theory about it on why. And I think human connection so I went, so went to Africa in 2012. And then in 2015, I pulled my kids out of school for six months, we traveled around the world. And I went around the world with the assumption that purpose was our reason for being that I left on that trip in January of 2015. Thinking that I was going to go talk to I'm a Rotarian. So I went to 25 different Rotary Clubs. And I interviewed all these people. And I found people that were not very purposeful, but that were joyful and happy on my trip. And I'm like, Well, if they don't have purpose, and they're still joyful, what's missing and, and I came to the conclusion that it's about connectedness, that it's not about purpose. And then when you find people that have purpose, you actually can connect with them more deeply, more quickly, with something I call shared common purpose, which I got from my trip to Africa, because when I was in Africa, people had shared purpose. The issue was their purpose is survival. And when survival was so if you look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I kind of I wrote a book and I kind of tried to redefine Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And I said the foundation of Maslow's hierarchy, what's the name of it? Maslow's hierarchy of needs the triangle that talks about survival food, water, shelter, safety, okay. And I think that's our greatest human instinct as an animal on this planet, but it's also our greatest human purpose. And Maslow talks about survival. And then we need self esteem, love and belonging, and then our own personal self actualization. And I believe that in Africa, the reason they're so connected as they have purpose, it's a purpose enough to think about called survival. And they're connected about it very deeply because they're surviving everything around them together. And they're still connected to the land, because they still farm it. You're still connected to their ancestors because there's no Google to give them the wisdom that they need. So they asked their elders what they know. We put the elders in retirement facilities Say you go spend time with yourselves. We don't need you anymore. That's it insane It's crazy. Hey,
Billy Moore :there's a You sound like you made it there's a book it's called the greatest salesman. Yeah, by Og Mandino I will greet this day with love in my heart. For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. A muscle didn't spit a shield and even destroy life. The only the unseen powers of love can open the hearts of men. until I've mastered this art Have you mastered this art? We will remain no more than peddlers in the marketplace. I will make love my greatest weapon and none of whom I call can defend against this force. My reasoning they may counter my speech they may distrust my apparel, they may disapprove my face they may reject yet My love will melt all hot, like into the sun who's raised softens even the cold is clean. I was I was a kid. And my dad was on his way to Africa. Then he gave me this book. He said, when I come back, you better know how to quote some things out of it. And that's where I went to that chapter, I think the second or third chapter or something like that. It was about love. And that's something that's truly missed in this world, and part of the reason why it's missed, if not, the only reason why it's missed is because of what we do with our senior citizens. I think. Yes, sir. We shoved them on to this. We shut them off to the side. And when we do that, that's a part of our connection. It's gone. I've never thought about that adjustment.
Larry Kesslin :I'd tell you a bigger issue. A bigger issue besides separating our generations, first of all, retirement is this construct that was built almost 100 years ago in a time when the average life expectancy was 60 years old. So if you can get to 65 will take care of you. Yeah, now people are living to 80. Why are we taking care of you at 65? It's just insane. But the bigger issue is Madison Avenue. And Hollywood. Okay, Wall Street, does that Madison Avenue has brainwashed us into getting more, make us happy. And if you look like this, or wear this or drive this car or whatever it is that you will be happy. And that's the furthest thing from the truth. So our consumption a comedy economy is built on a false foundation. That these things will bring you joy The only thing they'll bring you joy is peace of mind is realizing that everything we have is a gift and now we just need to I mean, just this amazing world that unfolds in front of us every day is just that it's unfolding. And what Madison Avenue teaches us is that we don't like what's in front of us. We should just go buy something different and that will make us happy. No, I mean,
Billy Moore :the man, the man, she's talking. If you're talking to say, let's say youngsters, people of color that has been shortchanged. What advice would you give them in? overcoming in over overcoming certain obstacles that people of color are facing? What advice would you give them?
Larry Kesslin :I'm not sure I'm the right person to give advice because I'm not one. Go. Tell you what I believe what you what you believe in. So what I believe is that no excuses is that whether you had it that way or not, it's all a story in your head. So you can continue to tell yourself the story, that this is not fair. And I would agree that life is not fair. So what? It's not fair. I agree. I agree that there are challenges in our society. I also believe that every soul comes back to this planet to live out the journey they were supposed to live out. Do you have a choice in every moment of every day to believe the story that you've been told? Or to create a new one? I mean, I've meant to know I have those 10 the 10 lessons from each chapter. Yeah. taped to the inside of my closet. Oh, yeah. Tell those people to think and fill your brain with positive mental attitude, ideas and concepts. Surround yourself with other people that have a drive to succeed and stop blaming anybody else. There's no blame The challenge we have right now is we're just we're divided, because people want to fight. They want to get what is theirs. I don't understand that. I don't understand a lot of what's going on. All I know is you can take personal responsibility for your own future. And you can choose to make a difference. But I know there's a lot of challenges with I've met kids that have come out of the inner city, I've done programs, and I've been that guy who comes in I actually did a program at the Henry street settlement. I went to Colorado with 85, inner city kids back in 1993. And that's when I quit my job at GE after my first trip. And then even the the woman who ran the nonprofit in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and she knew my mother. And she asked why I was so interested in helping what was my agenda? Like I was a pedophile or something. All I wanted to do was help. Yeah, and it's hard for people like me. I don't come from your background. I don't but someone My best friends I mean, Miguel de haces. So you should interview. Okay, run Xerox here for 1012 years and then ran paycheck and he's up at Cal State San Marcos. He's Lower East Side of Manhattan, grew up in the projects, played AAU basketball to get out, went to college and has had an amazing career. And he is an inner city youth. I mean, he's a youth that he understands what, what it's like to be that kid. And he's like, no excuses. work your butt off. But I can see where the gangs are really appealing, that they bring comfort and they bring protection. Yes, that's not the answer. And and so the nonprofit that I worked on in Uganda, our tagline was brilliant is equally distributed, but opportunity is not. And I think there's just as many brilliant people in the inner city and in disadvantaged communities as there are in wealthy communities. They just don't see the same opportunities, but they can choose to do what they want. Whether I'm saying some of the smartest people are the ones running the gang. They're entrepreneurs themselves. They're just selling something different. They're selling love, they're selling community, they're selling life. They're selling, whatever they're selling. They're good entrepreneurs. And if that energy was redirected towards something that might be more constructive with our community, I think everybody does better in the way that society is structured today. So what I would tell somebody, I would say, don't blame anybody but yourself. You have the opportunity. I have this philosophy about life, is that from birth, till about 20 years old, maybe a little younger for a woman a little older for a man, that the world is designed to take care of you. And I think that most of the kids in the inner city don't get that. But once you get to 20 years old ish, you have a choice, a real choice in life. And I think this is the choice that you make in life is to be the person that society's taught you to He filled your head with all these things of how life should be. Or you get to choose who you were born to be. You put here uniquely on this planet to do and from about the age of 20 until death. My belief is that is your job as a human on this planet to figure out why were you uniquely put here? And what are you meant to do with your life? And most people never ask the question, but my mom says most people go to their grave never having some their song because they didn't even know they were supposed to sing. So most people never ask the question, but if you do ask the question, if you do say why am I uniquely here? Then you're on a journey for the rest of your life saying why am I me? Why was I given the parents I was given? Why was I given the situation I was given as a child. What was it supposed to teach me so that I could be the person that I need to be when I'm fully evolved as a human on this planet?
Billy Moore :I like that Like that there's a some things we could go to and fro with. But what we, we don't want to go to in the Pro. We want to see how we can encourage and teach our kids how to step up in life with the best foot forward without calories, but this courage, a lot, courage and dignity. That's what we want to do.
Larry Kesslin :Thank you for dedicating your life to helping young people get out of the situation's around, because I think the biggest challenge we face as a culture in this country is the inequalities of the school system and everything else. And if we don't help the inner city, community, get on their feet. There's some themes that are going on right now. People have means are having less kids, people that don't have more kids. And the ecosystem is shifting and there's more diversity and there's more disparity in the wealth and all that stuff and I am privileged, I have no question that I'm working It's hard for it. But I also was given opportunities that not many people have. All right. But I've worked hard. And I have no, I don't have any guilt. There's no guilt on my side. There's just awareness. And a good friend of mine, Alexis Dixon, I think you're probably going to interview Alexis, if you haven't already. And he's from. He's from Guyana. And he's just a super smart gentleman, also, black man. And why am I uniquely here? Why was I given the DNA I have, the life experiences I have, and the opportunities I have, that I'm supposed to be doing in this.
Billy Moore :You know, that's a the opportunities that we have, we take them and we ask God to show us how to use them. And when with that, we can help make a difference. In a lot of lives, and that's what we do here at ABC with what's called the ABC concept, where we teach our youngsters, the simple basic do's and don'ts of society. Yeah. And with that, I want to thank you again for coming to in the ring was Billy Moore. And where this a show that we just started, and we're looking to have more people on this show like you because when you go into ring in a boxing ring, you both guys, they come to the middle of the ring. They touch gloves. They go back to that corner, then the bell rings and you come out and you give your best. You start punching. Well here what we do, we go back to our corners. We discuss circumstances and situations that can bring out the best. so that others can hear and decide what direction? Do they want to go in this ring? Do they want to stay in the corner? Or do they want to come up to the middle of it. And we want to thank you for those of us that you have helped this morning, to find out and to think about the direction that we want to go in.
Larry Kesslin :I appreciate all the work that you're doing, and I'm happy to help in any way that I can. And what I do best is I find people that have a shared purpose for you. And I'll introduce you to lots of other people that will help the organization grow in the future. That's my gift.
Billy Moore :Now, this may sound a little odd, but have you ever had one of those something I don't know what you call a column. I don't know if you call it an epiphany in that but It seemed like you and I have men. And you said, I can show some people how to be successful in life. I can show from the kids seemed like I've dreamed that I don't know if that's ever happened to you. And
Larry Kesslin :I've had a lot of epiphanies in my life. And all I know is that every time I have an epiphany, and I think I've landed on something that is so amazing and so unique, I talked to some really smart people and they say, Go read this book. Look at that book. And that book has thought about that topic more times and in more depth than I ever could have imagined. So my belief system says that everything that we think about and everything that ruminating has already been defined the people that are experts in it and help us on our journey faster. Trying to figure out the school of hard knocks is too expensive. We need to find ways to accelerate our learning and find mentors and guides a mentor and a guide to a lot of young people need that more and more every day and you're you're you're a light in the community and you've done some amazing work and everything I've heard about ABC is just awesome. So I'm happy to be of service and anyway, right? We give God the glory. And I'll say, brother
Billy Moore :until we meet again. God bless you and looking forward to meeting your family. Transcribed by https://otter.ai