Bethany V. | Mental health in pregnancy, a quick hospital birth with epidural, and perinatal mental health resources.

Bethany from Saskatoon shares her story about her mental health during her pregnancy. She shares the details of her quick hospital delivery and her postpartum experience. Throughout the episode, Bethany offers valuable resources and insights for anyone navigating their own perinatal mental health journey.

Resources 

Mother May I: https://www.mothermayi.ca/

Reclaim MBK: https://reclaimsaskatoon.ca/

Birth blessings: https://www.birthblessings.ca/

Motherhood YXE: https://www.facebook.com/p/Motherhood-YXE-100065324806493/

Find us on Instagram @moonybirthstoriespodcast

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Transcript

  Seeking help if you've got the ability to do so, finding supports that can help your mindset and help your physical health. And if you don't have those supports there are organizations out there that can help you find them. Like Mother May, I is a great organization for prenatal and postpartum.

And yeah, I certainly needed it. I'm really glad that I was able to find mental health support and also had the physical supports that were available to me.

On tonight's episode, we are joined by Bethany from Saskatoon. She shares her very quick hospital birth with her daughter Indy. Bethany also goes into her perinatal mental health journey throughout her pregnancy, as well as providing some amazing resources throughout the episode.

Hello? Hey, Bethany. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. Thank you so much for agreeing to do the podcast. I am so excited to chat with you. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to it. Tell us a little bit about yourself. So my name is Bethany. My husband is Christian.

We got married a couple of years ago. We're both from Saskatchewan. He's a teacher. I work at a health charity. And, we always knew that we wanted to have a family. It just happened like a little bit sooner than we thought it would. And that's a little bit about us. Awesome. So yeah, tell us about that road to getting pregnant.

So we had decided that we were ready to go off birth control but yet, not yet ready to start trying. But I think it was like probably a week afterwards that, uh, that I got pregnant. And I remember it was the first weekend in June that we were supposed to go to a friend's cabin for the weekend and my period was a couple days late.

And I was pretty sure it was just because I had gone off birth control and my cycle was just regulating. But I was like, just to be responsible, I should take a pregnancy test. And like, not really any part of me thought I was pregnant yet, and I was. So that was a big shock. Like I said, we knew we wanted to start a family and that's why I'd gone off birth control in the first place, but it just happened really fast.

So, yeah, I felt like part of me didn't even have a chance to get excited yet, or like anticipate because it happened so fast. And maybe that's what kind of laid the foundation , for my mindset in pregnancy. But yeah, I definitely, I did struggle a little bit through pregnancy for sure.

Mentally. Yeah. That's a nice surprise that it happened so fast. Yes. And I know . It's definitely, a problem that it's the opposite problem that a lot of people have. I know so many people who struggle to get pregnant, and so that was also another part that was weighing on me was that, well, a lot of people work really hard for this, and so it was hard to. Hard to like reconcile those two feelings of like, well, we weren't quite ready, but also a lot of people try for a long time. Yeah, for sure. So who was the first person you told when you found out you were pregnant? , Well I took the pregnancy test with my husband there, so he was the very first person that I told.

And then. I think the next people that we told were my parents which we weren't planning on telling them when we did, but but they were ready to lock in an Airbnb in Hawaii for February break, and we found out that was our due date and we had to kind of be weird about why we couldn't commit to Hawaii.

And then they kind of cornered us and we said, well, we're actually expecting. So they were the first people that we told. Okay. Okay. So how were you feeling like your , initial thoughts those first few weeks? How were you doing then? Yeah, like my initial, our initial feelings I would say for both my husband and myself were that we were like, kind of in shock.

Like we couldn't really believe it. Uh, like I said, we weren't quite ready or anticipating getting pregnant that fast. So, yeah, we were just a little bit surprised, but like we knew, we were excited, like this was something that we wanted and we were really looking forward to growing our family. But yeah, I would honestly, maybe shock is the best word to describe it.

Yeah, for sure. So who was your care provider throughout your pregnancy? , So I, actually, uh, went into pregnancy without a doctor. My family doctor had closed her practice about a year prior, so, I didn't have one. I went to a walk-in to confirm my pregnancy. And then they sent me to, or they refer the walk-in, referred me to, uh, cornerstone Medical Clinic, which is, um, where I still am.

And, and they're, they've been great. They were a wonderful support. Tell us a little bit more about the rest of your pregnancy? Sure. So yeah, I, my first trimester was rough. I, um, I was quite ill. I didn't have a big appetite. I actually lost a lot of weight. And so when I did get to see the doctor I think it was probably a couple visits in that I was, I mentioned to them that I like wasn't feeling myself.

Like not only was I physically unwell, but I was feeling. I was feeling a bit apathetic. Like I, I knew we wanted to grow our family and we were excited about that, but like, part of me couldn't really like, envision being a mom or having this child, like I wasn't feeling overly connected to the fetus growing inside of me.

So I remember saying at one of my doctor's appointments, and, I had different doctors kind of throughout I had a more regular one, but, but one of the ones that I was seeing. Or that I saw kind of as a one-off. Um, I had mentioned to her that I was feeling a little bit down and like mentally not myself. And she said, well then it, it's probably in your best interest to go talk to somebody about that. Like she did a bit of an assessment on me and thought you don't probably need any medication or anything like that, but but talking to someone might be helpful. And I said, I think that sounds great.

Where can I go to do that? And she said, well, we don't really have any like, lists of people. And then that was kind of the beginning of like my eyes opening to how far there is to go around supporting perinatal mental health. So she literally printed off a list of all of the psychologists in Saskatoon.

There was no, like, oh, specializes in maternal mental health, none of that. It was just literally a list of psychologists. So I ended up. Asking a couple friends who were a little bit more open about their mental health journey while they were pregnant, and they gave me a couple of recommendations of people I could talk to.

I emailed those people and they, either their wait list was closed or it was really long. Yeah, so one of them did send me a list of registered psychologists and social workers who do specialize in perinatal mental health. So I was able to use that list to look some people up. Uh, most of those people, again, really long wait lists or the wait list was closed.

But, I was very, very fortunate. One of them who had originally gotten back to me saying it would be a few months before she could see me , about a week later she followed up saying, you've really been on my mind. And I had a cancellation, are you free? And so I was able to go see her and she's still my psychologist today and she was really like instrumental in, in helping me feel like.

The feelings that I had were validated and normal, and it was like, you know, it doesn't make me a bad mom to feel down when I'm pregnant. And it was just like, oh, that was such a saving grace. So, but yeah, like I said, like I, I was really, yeah, I was made aware of how difficult it can be for. Women who are pregnant or postpartum to seek help because I have like all of the, you know, assets available to me.

I, you know, I have health benefits. I'm well versed. I work in health. I know the health system and it was still a challenge for me to seek help. So, that, yeah, it was, I was fortunate that I was able to access help, but it wasn't easy. Yes, for sure. It's unfortunate. Here in Saskatchewan, we just seem to be in lacking in.

Many aspects of healthcare. And so it's unfortunate that it had to be such potentially a long wait. But you were lucky enough to get in. It seems to be like you just, oh, luck of the draw. Yeah, it, it really is like, it truly was luck of the draw. Like I emailed at just the right time that the person who I ended up seeing had a cancellation. Otherwise, yeah, it was gonna, like, I wouldn't have been able to see someone until after I'd had my kid. And then, things changed. So I, and luckily I wasn't in a situation where it was life or death for me, but I know that it is for some people. So, yeah, my eyes are really open and my heart definitely has a.

I, my, my heartstrings are pulled by perinatal mental health journeys for sure. Yes, absolutely. There, there's a long way to go and we need to continue to work at it so that Yeah, people, especially the people with limited resources can access that because yeah, it's one thing for someone who knows the next person to go to, to ask for some advice or some recommendations, but some people don't have that same.

Exactly, and like, it's not inexpensive. It's worth it, but it's not cheap. Like, you know, it costs $200 to, to spend an hour with a psychologist. And, and like even on the physical health side of things, it costs $150 to go see a pelvic floor therapist. So if you don't have those benefits available to you you're kind of hooped.

And so, yeah, we just can need to continue to advocate for support for for perinatal health. For sure. I completely agree. So after you, you got in with the psychologist, did you felt like she helped? Yes. Yeah. I, I saw her a few times before my daughter was born. And then I've seen her not as often, but like semi-regularly since.

Um, and she's just been so helpful. Like, like I said, she validated a lot of what I was feeling like I just needed. I needed like a third party to hear how I was feeling because and my doc, one of the doctors that I had seen had even said like, often pregnant women feel like when they're complaining about pregnancy if they're complaining to a loved one, even if that loved one's a safe space, there's still a little sense of guilt because part of you is like, well, I'm.

You know, growing this miracle of life, I shouldn't be complaining. It's you know, it's a wonderful thing. Yeah. And so to be able to just like have a third party unbiased sounding board to say like, this has kind of sucked. Yeah. Like I, I don't feel like myself, I don't envision myself being a mom. Like having her validate that and walk me through what I could do differently and how I can change my mindset was just so helpful.

And then postpartum the same thing, like she's been able to, to gimme some really helpful tools. To help me deal with, you know, stress and, and mm-hmm. You know, a change in routine and that and that sort of thing. So it's just been really wonderful to have someone to talk to. Yes. Two feelings can coexist and that goes through for pregnancy and into motherhood.

You can be so grateful for the baby you have, but also you can complain and you can find it hard. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So then what were you doing or what was your mindset? About labor and birth. I was terrified, like even before getting pregnant, before getting married, just as a, as an individual human being.

Most of my adult life, I was like terrified of giving birth and it was something that I knew I wanted to do at some point. So I was like, I'm gonna have to overcome this. But I'm really terrified at the idea of giving birth. It sounds so painful and so scary and so long. Um, and all the things. So I was, I was really scared and I, and I did really try to utilize.

What I could in terms of like, uh, health supports so that it might make it a little bit easier for me. Like I started seeing pelvic floor physio at about 20 weeks , I was doing prenatal yoga. We went to the birth classes, all these things just so I could like start to mentally and physically prepare.

But yeah, I was terrified. It was not something I was looking forward to. That is totally fair. And who were you planning to have at your birth with you? Just my husband, , we weren't bringing anybody in. We were gonna, like I, we weren't gonna let anybody know that we were going to the hospital except for who my brother-in-law who was gonna come watch the dog while we went to the hospital.

So it was, it was just me and my husband. And the thing with Cornerstone. Maternity clinic is that, um, whatever doctor is available in their like, clinical call is, is who's gonna be there. So we weren't even a hundred percent sure what doctor would be there. But that kind of stuff like that didn't really bother me.

Like I said, I was just so focused on like not being in pain that it didn't really matter to me who the medical provider was. Um, so yeah, it was just me and my husband. Okay. Awesome. And so did you create any kind of birth plan or hopes. Yeah so we did a birth class through, birth Blessings.

Her name is Rosalyn. She's amazing. Amazing. It was a wonderful class. Yeah. She was so amazing. Um, and continued to be amazing postpartum. But, uh, she, she had like a template. What we went through when I, when we did the birth class, uh, of things that we. Wanted for our birth plan. And I really appreciated going through that because you don't even know what you can ask for, and it was just really helpful to like be able to walk through some of the supports that would be available to me and some of the things that I could say yes or no to, um, and just become educated on some of those things. So yes, we did put together a birth plan but I'm also not a type A person, so it wasn't a super rigid birth plan.

But, uh, but yes, a birth plan did exist. Awesome. So, and is there anything else that you want to share from your pregnancy? From pregnancy specifically? Not really. Just, yeah, emphasizing again, like the importance of seeking help if you've got the ability to do so. Finding supports. That can help your mindset and help your physical health.

And if you don't have those supports there are organizations out there that can help you find them. Like Mother May, I is a great organization for prenatal and postpartum. And, um, and yeah, I certainly needed it. I, um, I'm really glad that I was able to find mental health support and also had the physical supports that were available to me.

Mm-hmm. But, um, but yeah that's all I really have to say about pregnancy. It wasn't Awesome. Okay. Let's move on to how labor started for you. I guess last thing I'll say about pregnancy is that I was not in a rush as much as I did not love it, and it felt like it was really long. I was not in a rush for it to be over.

I was starting to get like nervous about the fact that I was having a baby and towards the end of my pregnancy, my daughter was measuring quite small, so I had a lot of ultrasounds, which in itself was frustrating and taxing. But they were kind of indicating that they might want to get her out early.

And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm not ready for that. But if that's what's in everyone's best interest, in the end they decided to just let her cook. Um, but it felt like she was gonna be in there forever. And I was like, oh my gosh, this could be over any time. And so, um, a lot of people texted me on my due date and they were like, Hey, happy due date.

Hope your daughter doesn't keep you waiting too long. And I was like, oh, she's not going anywhere. Like I, I remember I was off work already. I think I had taken off. I ended work like the week before my due date. So I'd been off for about a week and I was like running around downtown, doing errands, went for breakfast with my mom, you know, I, I was all over the place.

And then I, uh, I got home that afternoon. It was probably like 3:00 PM and I started to feel like, it just kind of felt like she was moving, my daughter was moving on my bladder. It wasn't painful. It wasn't even super uncomfortable, but then I realized that it was like kind of coming and going. I'm like, oh, I, I wonder if this is contractions.

I'd never had any Braxton Hicks or anything like that. And so I didn't really know what that would feel like. But then all of a sudden this was like starting to feel like a little bit maybe rhythmic or something. So I'm like, I wonder if this is contractions. So my husband came home from work and I said, I don't freak out, but I might be having contractions.

Like they're not painful. They're not at all close together, but they might be happening. And he got really excited and they were, we were excited. We had supper. We went for like a nice long walk and then it kind of went away while we were walking. So I'm like, oh, maybe I just, yeah, maybe she was just moving funny.

And then we got home. They kind of started back up again. And then my husband and I were actually gonna go watch our friends play soccer that night. Mm-hmm. And I, and the soccer center's really close to our house. And I was like, you know what? I, I, I am quite confident that these are contractions at this point, but like, we're so early on, you just go, you have fun.

So I sent my husband off to watch soccer. Yeah. And that was at like probably 7:30 PM and at like eight 15. It went, like, it just went from zero to a hundred. And I texted him and I was like, you have to come home now. Yeah. So he came home and, uh, yeah. At that point I was like, doubled over. It was quite painful.

And he kept saying like, are we ready to go to the hospital? And one of my biggest fears in all of this was getting sent home from the hospital. I don't know why that was such a fear that I had, but I was really fixated on it. Mm-hmm. So I was like, no, we're not going yet. We're not going yet. Finally, it was probably about 10 30 and uh, and my husband was like, we really gotta go like you.

They're really close. The contractions are really close together. You're having a hard time moving. Like we eventually have to get you into the car. So we got to the hospital. Yeah, it was probably like a. Quarter to 11, 11 o'clock. And I think what I said when I walked into the waiting room is I think I'm in labor at this point.

I very much knew I was in labor, but I was trying to play it cool. And so they, they put me in an assessment room and they looked at me and said, you're six centimeters already, so Wow. You're not going anywhere. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, that was a good feeling. I felt like I, I entered the hospital on a good note.

I was, I was ready to be there, but I, there was no, there was no room in the inn yet, so I, I was in an assessment room from, yeah, about 11 o'clock until I. It was probably about 1230 and, uh, I, I don't remember much from that time. It, my contractions were very close together. I remember asking for an epidural whenever it was ready, and they said it's not ready yet.

And then I think it was about 1230 that I threw up and then the nurse came in and like, we should probably check you again. And I was eight centimeters. Okay. All of a sudden there was a room for me and an epidural. Yeah. So I, they said, do you wanna walk to that room? And I said, sure. So I got up and I walked to the delivery room and I got the epidural.

And I don't remember much else from that. I remember the epidural setting in, and that was like. The 15 minutes that I needed. Mm-hmm. I, yeah, like, 'cause my contractions were so close together. Uh, there was not really a lot of like, lull in between them. What were you doing to get through those contractions?

Were you finding anything helped? No, I was in the fetal position the whole time. Okay, fair. It's funny because, you know, you take all these and like, no part of me regrets taking the birth classes or, you know, prepping with the exercises, but like sometimes you, it just goes out the window. Well, it sounds like yours was moving so fast.

You don't even have a second to catch up and think about what you should be doing. Yes, exactly. I didn't even have a second. I don't remember much from the assessment room. I don't remember much going to the delivery room. All of a sudden, the epidural set in, I had a few minutes to breathe and they said, I think it's time to push.

Wow. So I, I think at like 1 45. My epidural must have been a little bit later than 1231 ish. But at 1 45, I started pushing and I pushed for 20 minutes and my daughter came out and it apparently that I, I don't have a lot of experience with pushing, but 20 minutes apparently is not a very long time.

So that was nice. And she was small. She was six pounds, three ounces. Uh, the cord, the cord was wrapped around her neck and she had a true knot in her umbilical cord. So, that was kind of crazy. It kind of, I don't know, you just I guess another thing I forgot to mention about pregnancy is that when we had done our 20 week scan, they had found a couple, couple soft markers for Down syndrome.

Okay. And, um, after some discussion and another scan, they thought, like, unless you really wanted to pursue further testing, there's not really much need for it. And so we had decided against that. But then, you know, in the, it's. In the back of your mind for the rest of your pregnancy, you're like, what if something goes wrong?

What if something's happening? And then while you're giving birth, you just like, don't think about those things. I don't know. Or I didn't, and maybe some people do, but for me it just all went out the window like no part of me. Was worried. I just was like, I have to push this baby out now and then, so for her to come out and she was perfectly healthy, but to like have the cord wrapped around her neck and have this true knot, I'm like, oh, those things hadn't even crossed my mind, even though like my brain had been stressed out for like months and months about having this baby.

Yeah. Um, you just, you just, you start to give birth and you have to do it so your brain is somewhere else. Entirely. Exactly. Yeah. It never crossed my mind during labor and delivery that something could go wrong. Yeah. Which was a blessing and, and nothing did go wrong. Um, it all went really fast and she was healthy and the cord was fine.

It just, it was a loose true knot. But but yeah, so that was kind of like a crazy moment was realizing like, oh my goodness. The miracle of birth is truly a miracle. Mm-hmm. But also, lots of things can happen and lots of things can stress you out. And for a second there, you just don't think about it. So what do you remember the most about those first few moments after you delivered?

I remember, I remember my husband joking, they, they asked if he wanted to cut the cord and he said yes. And then he joked, do you have any left-handed scissors? And they said, no, we don't. Sorry. And that was hilarious to both of us. And then I remember, um, my daughter like. Like truly crawling up and finding my boob, like mm-hmm.

That was crazy. It was like, that was like one of those like textbook moments. Yeah. Like that they teach you in the birth classes, like this is what can happen. And she did. She just it was, yeah, it was really special. So I remember that. That was really cool. Did you have any tearing or how was. How was everything?

Yeah, I did, I did have some tearing and again, like, you know, you do all these things to prep and sometimes it all goes out the window. I had I had a second degree tear upwards. Okay. And then I also had a labial tear, which was very uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. Yeah, like, you go to pelvic floor physio, you hope that these things can be mitigated and then sometimes they just aren't.

But they healed well, but it was a long process. And it's, it's sometimes crazy to me that like six weeks after that happened I went to the doctor and I literally got a pap smear at the doctor at six weeks. 'cause I was due. Yeah. It was terrible. Yeah, I bet. But yeah, like the tearing, the tearing was uncomfortable and but I was really fortunate that, you know, I had a few friends who kind of had like.

Coached me on postpartum, like, Hey, you're gonna want like a Perry bottle and you're gonna want some spray and some tuck pads. And so I had lots of that available to me which was really great. That helped with a lot of the discomfort and the pain, but also I feel like. It's tough because you want to like immediately become this mother.

Mm-hmm. But you also have to rest. Yes. And I'm like, why am I not fit to just do all the things I was doing before? It's, it was a very hard mindset to get out of, which is weird. Like, it, you know, you just gave birth it's pretty well known that that's a, that's a pretty big feat. But still, I was like why am I not up and at 'em yet?

I was frustrated with myself. Aw. Yeah, it's like you're. You should rest. But it's also like, okay, but I'm a mom now and I have to do all of these things. Yes. So how is the, the time in the hospital? Uh, it was pretty good. Yeah. Like we had really wonderful care like providers for us. Uh, the doctor that we ended up having was wonderful.

Um, the nurses were great. It was a bit unfortunate that my daughter was just under like the normal weight. Oh, okay. She was just a little bit small, so we, they had to do, um, like blood sugar tests every few hours. So lots of, uh, lots of pricking in the heel, which was unfortunate. That was hard to watch.

But but otherwise things went pretty good at the hospital. She slept. She slept okay. There. So you, you talked about breastfeeding. Was that your goal? Yeah, I had, I had very much wanted to breastfeed, but I also wasn't. You know, if I was gonna need formula, that wasn't gonna be the end of the world either.

But I was able to successfully breastfeed more or less right off the hop. So that was nice. And she gained her weight back really fast too, which was, which was great. Yeah. So I, I, I can't complain about how breastfeeding went but man, is it hard? Yeah. That's a lot of work. It's a lot of work for sure.

How long did you breastfeed for? Um, I breastfed for just over a year. Yeah. So she was born on February 10th and I think it was like March 15th that we were done March 15th of the following year. Yeah. So it was, it was a nice, it was a nice journey. I was ready to be done before she was, so, yeah.

How was the rest of the year? Postpartum, or I guess it's been a year and a half. Yeah, it's, it's really been wonderful. Like, it's interesting. My, my pregnancy was rough, like physically on me, and it was like mentally as well. Like I, I did not feel like I had an easy pregnancy. And again, with some complications with scans and ultrasounds, like, it just, it felt like pregnancy was.

Kind of taxing. Which again is hard to complain about because I know that it's something that, um, people work really hard towards. And so like, yeah, lots of emotions about pregnancy, but postpartum, it's like a switch immediately flipped and things were really wonderful. Um, and I know that not everybody has that experience, certainly due to.

Again, mental health or due to the supports that are available to them. But I just, I feel like we've had such wonderful supports and yeah, postpartum has been, has been really a wonderful journey. Obviously not easy, like having a child is not an easy thing. But our daughter is wonderful and the people who have supported us are wonderful and yeah, lots of tears and lots of learning and figuring a lot of things out.

But but yeah, it's been a really. Great journey, and I've got a really wonderful partner and a great daughter. Yeah. It sounds like overall birth and postpartum went pretty positively. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's funny, like I spent like all these years being so afraid of birth and not saying that it was like, awesome.

Yeah. But also it happened so fast and then it was over and I'm like, wow, I did that. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. And yeah, it really, it really blew by like, I think from when I got to the hospital to when my daughter was born was like four hours. It was very quick. Okay. Is there anything else that you wanna share about postpartum recovery or anything about postpartum?

I think, yeah, just again, like summarizing or emphasizing that like it when you know you have your child and then you feel like you need to immediately be. Caring for it, but like there's so much rest and recovery that needs to happen. And even though you know that what you've done is a big feat, it's still like hard to wrap your head around the fact that you need to recover and rest.

And so like as much as that can be frustrating, it's so important. And yeah, that was, that was a big learning for me, for sure. Yeah, for sure. So did you do anything else to prepare for postpartum? Did you have people there to help? Like both our parents and actually all of our siblings live in Saskatoon, so it was really nice to have to have family close by.

I, once I was cleared for exercise, I started going to a mom and baby fitness class which was really great. It obviously like great for community, but also great for like building up your pelvic floor again and like getting strong and being able to like learn how to lift your child. And so like my, um, my mom and baby fitness classes at Raw Fitness have been wonderful.

I still go there not to mom and baby fitness anymore. My daughter's too crazy for that. Yeah. But I still love going to the fitness classes and, and then going to mom groups. Like I, I was certainly not a regular at mom groups. It's hard to sometimes like, get outta the house that early in the morning.

Yeah. But going to reclaim or going to like motherhood, YXE and just like being able to talk to other moms and talk to professionals. Who are there to support you. Like that was huge for postpartum as well. But yeah, ultimately just having like friends and family who are so supportive and like generous with their time and resources that was huge for me.

Yes, having that community will absolutely change your motherhood experience. It's so needed to connect with other people. Yes, for sure. Yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna end with a few questions that I'm asking everyone. So what is a piece of advice you would give to someone heading toward their birth? I think a piece of advice would be, and this I've kind of alluded to this, is like.

Using the resources that are available to you to like, you know, educate yourself and prep yourself physically and mentally for birth and for postpartum. Like going to pelvic floor physio was as much as I still did tear, it was still so helpful for me. Then building back to recovery and to getting stronger again, like I loved going to.

To pelvic floor physio, going to birth classes, birth blessings was like such a great experience. And learning about, like I said, learning about like my agency in giving birth, like what I can say no to, what I should say yes to. What I can ask for, for support. Like all of that was so great to like be equipped with that knowledge and with with the tools and things like that.

But then also being flexible because sometimes all you have is four hours and all of the exercises and the playlists and everything goes out the window. So yes, be prepared. Equip yourself with knowledge and with tools, but also be like flexible that things. Might not go at all the way you want them to go, and that's okay.

Yeah. And then what surprised you the most about postpartum? I think for me specifically, and not, yeah, not everybody has this experience, but with me struggling like I did in pregnancy, it was what surprised me is how quickly that flipped. Like when I gave birth, I, I felt a lot more connected and at peace with being a mother.

And I felt, yeah, like I felt connected to my daughter. I felt supported by the supports that I had worked so hard to seek out during pregnancy. And I was also so pleasantly surprised by like our friends and family. I know some people say that like, oh, once they give birth, like then they really know who their friends are.

Mm-hmm. Um, and my experience was that like our friends, even the ones that don't have children, have like been so supportive and so there for us, and so wanting our daughter to be in their lives. So that's been like a really nice surprise for me is and I guess that's just if you're fortunate to have.

The supports around you that you do and the friends and family that you have. Like, not everybody has those, but, but we certainly do, and it's been, yeah, a really nice surprise to see how, how much everybody loves our daughter. It's so great. Oh, I love the positivity about that. It's, yes, I know that that's not everybody's experience, but it's nice to hear when the people in your life show up for how, how you need and how you would hope.

It's always nice to hear those stories too. For sure, and yeah, for sure. It's not everybody's experience, but I'm so, so fortunate and blessed that it's mine. Oh, okay. Bethany, thank you so much for coming on here and sharing your story. Thank you very much for having me. It's kind of cathartic to be able to say it all out loud.

Thank you so much for listening to another incredible birth story. If you're interested in sharing your own story on the podcast, head down to the link in the show notes to complete the form.