Donna B. Part 2. | Infertility, VBAC in the hospital with a midwife, and the NICU.

Donna B. Part 2. | Infertility, VBAC in the hospital with a midwife, and the NICU. 

This is part 2 of Donna’s story as she shares the long road to getting pregnant with her daughter. Donna went on to have a Vaginal Birth after Cesarean (VBAC) in hospital with midwives. Her daughter then spent some time in the NICU. 

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Transcript

 Hi, and welcome back. This is the second part to my episode with Donna from Saskatoon. This is the pregnancy anniversary of her daughter Ainsley. Donna went on to have a vaginal birth after cesarean in the hospital with midwives. So let's move into that. Yeah. So we decided to start trying for a second when my son had just turned one.

And I had really thought okay, with my son, I just needed that medication, so I should just be able to go to the doctor. And I told my doctor after my son was born Hey. I had used used a medication to ovulate. So when I want to try again, can you do that? And he was like, yeah, that's not a problem.

So I was like, okay, cool. Like I thought, like I will tell the doctor. The next month, I will go and see like gynecologist who will sub, prescribe me that and that's it, no, because my doctor was like, Hey, so the clinic in Winnipeg, I need a writeup from them. And so then I called them and the writeup, like the, they didn't do full, like full scope fertility testing because they were like.

The gynecologist was like, you don't ovulate regularly. So I just helped you ovulate. Like I, you, you weren't like, you didn't need fertility testing because it was just a matter of I just helped you ovulate. You ovulate, you got pregnant, that's fine. But then it was like you don't qualify for those supports then, because you have to be actually.

Trying to get pregnant and not on your own. And I was like, what do you mean? Yeah. And my family doctor was like I phoned and we don't offer, just like you have to have been trying. And he said. So I think if you can try for six months, I can try and get you on a wait list then.

And so I was like, oh, super. Yay. Yeah. So I was really frustrated with that because I guess I had had unrealistic expectations. So we waited the six months of, trying even though and at this time, like I was still breastfeeding my son and I hadn't got a regular period back. Yeah.

And so I was like, I don't know how this is, like how am I supposed to be trying to get pregnant? And I'm not even like having normal cycles, yeah. So I stopped breastfeeding my son, hopefully to get my cycle. Back to normal and stuff. And then we got on at six months after, so my son was a year and a half, I got on a, referred and they decided to refer me directly to Aurora, the fertility clinic here in Sask.

Yeah. And I just thought that they would just send me just to. Any like any OB GYN, but they sent me specifically to Aurora, so I was like, okay, like I'm fine with that, but I just need there's just this pill. Does Aurora really have to be where I go or will they want me?

But anyways, yeah. Then Aurora, I was on their wait list for four or five months before I got in with them. Wow. And then they needed to do the base testing before they would do anything. So it was like, it was just like, I just felt oh my gosh. Like I had to wait. Like it was like ended up being like a year.

Before I was like even given a med and I was like, I don't ovulate regularly. Like I am, like shooting in the dark, right? Yeah I have no idea. If I had an idea, like I can't even track a cycle because I don't. Have regular cycles and stuff. And so I was really frustrated with that whole process and I I was mad by the time that I got to Aurora.

And then when I got into Aurora, they were like, oh, like you, you'll probably get pre pregnant, like super easy. And I was like, awesome. Okay, cool. Finally here, we're gonna do this. And so I ended up doing nine cycles of just the, zo. Okay. So that's what I got pregnant with my son the first time with.

Yeah. Like just letrozole. So I was like, this will work. And then it didn't. I did get pregnant on the. Ninth cycle of Letrozole. And I ended up having a miscarriage. But by that time we actually were already in the process of like my, like I, I had a sub prescription for Letrozole and they were like, but that cycle I was doing blood work to, with plans to move on to IUI.

Okay. And so then when I got. Pregnant. Then obviously it was like, oh, I don't need to do IUI, and then then I miscarried. And so then I had a few months of like just reprieve and to get myself ready again. Yeah. And then I did two cycles of. IUI and so it was on the second cycle of IUI that I got pregnant with my daughter.

So yeah. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage and the long process to getting pregnant with your daughter. Yeah. So it was such a long process and like with the miscarriage, it really it had felt oh, yay. Like I got pregnant right before we needed to do that extra step. That's perfect, everything lines up.

And then when it was miscarriage, it just felt is this ever gonna happen? Yeah. And and that stuff. And so having a miscarriage. Having a miscarriage so close like to, to the next pregnancy. I was definitely, when I got pregnant with my daughter, I was just very anxious. I was just very anxious about the pregnancy and with my miscarriage, I had started to spot and then just it progressively.

Over the weeks had like over a one week period, just got more and more until it was like a spontaneous a spontaneous miscarriage. And when it came to my daughter, I actually did spot with her. Oh man. And and that happened, early on. So I was just like, that's it. I'm gonna miscarry again.

And I was, yeah. Somewhat convinced that it wasn't gonna stick. And yeah, it was hard. But I was really lucky because I got into with midwives in Saskatoon and my midwife was so compassionate and was very. Good about did like doppler did, let me come in like more regularly Yeah.

Just to support me emotionally and stuff and so that was, I feel really lucky to have had that. Yeah. The midwives here are amazing, so it's nice that you got that compassionate care. Yeah. Yeah. And I just from like my own personal experience with midwives and whatnot, I knew I wanted, if that's who I wanted in the room, that's the care I wanted to get.

And so I was just so happy to have gotten it. And yeah, it was. It was really helpful having going through that miscarriage and then and the infertility followed by like the wraparound care. And so I really felt I felt cared about in that. Prenatal period. Yeah. And then how was the rest of your pregnancy?

It was somewhat uneventful. Like I didn't have any complications or anything other than the spotting early on. But it they were able to determine that it was like a, I don't know, like there was a. There was a reason for it and it wasn't concerning and it stopped on its own and stuff.

And then other than being tired and lethargic and experiencing morning sickness continuously. It was just uneventful. I definitely found it hard being. A mom and pregnant, yeah. It came to a place where like I was always the person that my son would call out to in the middle of the night.

I had to stop doing, being the one to respond because I would, if I got outta bed in the middle of the night, I would definitely get sick. And so then it was my husband and like my son for a long time still was always calling out to me. And then there would. At the end of my pregnancy, by the time he'd realized I don't, I wasn't the one who would respond.

And so it was like, and emotionally it was hard to be pregnant and know that another kid is coming and that my son is now calling out for dad instead of me and feeling. Like that, that like you're torn, right? Yes. You're like already feeling like there's two of them and I can't be there for both of them.

Yeah. Yeah. That's hard. You feel like you're abandoning your first Yeah. Yeah, so that that part and just being tired. Just being tired and feeling like I can't keep up with my son or that I want to take naps and he wants me to play with him, and that kind of stuff. That was hard. Good. And then what was your mindset going into this birth?

So I really wanted to do I was aiming for a vaginal delivery after C-section. And and I was wanting to do a water birth and aiming for no, no epidural. And we'd gone through all this stuff about VBACs the recommendation is to have the IV in just the port already in.

And I was like, if I could, let's not, because if I'm gonna be in the pool, that kind of increases. Or it can make it difficult, and I wanted to avoid the continuous monitoring. 'cause with my son, I found it really helpful to be able to walk around and to be more mobile. And they recommend continuous monitoring for.

For vbac. Yeah. So it sounds like you wanted something as hands off as possible. And is there anything else you wanna share as you were preparing for labor? I just felt this like huge, like nesting, like I just wanted to like to nest. Which I think I did feel like with my son, but it was like also a pandemic.

Yeah. So it didn't feel possible. And I think maybe the whole uncertainty of the world, but it's like I just needed to be able to get ducks in a row and just needed, like this maybe control things in a sense, like it I felt like I was a bit restless, like waiting for a baby to show up.

Yeah. So then let's go into your birth story. Yeah. So with my daughter, I was again asking for for membrane sweeps. Like just, I just want I think I'm just impatient and I just wanted to meet her. I just wanted the pregnancy to be done and stuff, and so I was getting regular membrane sweeps and I also I'm sure like my midwife very patient with me, but was probably also somewhat I was just regular, I was getting a lot of Braxton Hicks and I was like, how do I know if this is actually labor?

Because with my son, as I said before, I didn't realize when I was in labor initially until my waters had been broke. And so I was a little bit like, I know I'm feeling things, I'm having brax and hicks. Is this it? Is it progressing? And I was getting regular membrane sweeps. And so at the time I knew I, I was actually four centimeters dilated for about a week.

Okay. Before labor started. Okay. So I had, and I was doing like acupuncture and everything, and I was like, okay, baby. When you're a a feedback, they don't want you to like, they wanna avoid the medical, some medical inductions. Yeah. Correct. And so because of that it was like, okay, let's tell this baby to come out so I don't have to have a C-section because of.

Baby not coming out on their own, yeah. If she was too big, they would also say a C-section as well. So I was like, okay. Like you can only grow so big yeah. And was there any concerns about that? Did you have an ultrasound near the end? Yes. To see how big she was for that? And yeah, so like that was like par part of my like, eagerness to be like, Hey, get out.

Was so that she didn't get too big and that I like could still do the trials for the vaginal delivery. Yeah, so I was having membrane streets. I knew I was four centimeters, but I wasn't actually having any contractions. So I had. Gone to like on the Monday I had gone to my acupuncturist and my acupuncturist knew that I was like regularly coming multiple times a week and was like.

Dilated but not progressing. Yeah. And how many weeks were you at this point? I was 40 weeks. Okay. IWI was like, I guess I was 39 and six that day. But and so like my acupuncturist said to me, do you think something is like off with like baby's position? And I was like I know she is head down and she's quite low.

But I don't know. And then I thought my hips have always been an issue whenever I go to. Massage. Massage. They're always like trying to reposition my, like my left hip. And so I was like, I bet my hip is in the way. Yeah. And I went to Cairo to get my hip, my hips adjusted and they adjusted my hips that night.

Like it was like Monday night around five o'clock and the next morning I woke up and I was. Watching TV with my son before I had a prenatal visit that morning. And I was watching TV and I was like, I think I'm having contractions, but I'd had Braxton Hicks, but they, they were just like a little stronger.

And so we dropped off my son and went to the prenatal visit. And on the drive there I was like, every time we hit a bump, I like it's feeling more and more painful. Yeah. And so I got to the. Prenatal visit. And my midwife was like, she's the problem is if you go to the hospital right now and they're like, I'm having contractions and I'm four centimeters, they'll admit you.

Yeah. And then they will send you home based off the fact you're not actually progressing. And I was like, fair. Yeah. Because I've been four centimeters for a week, so my midwife was like. Let's see if these contractions become more regular. Like they're come, they're stronger than they've been when they're Braxton Hicks.

But we wanna see regularity and we want to see regularity for an extended, like for a time. Yeah. Yeah. So I left that appointment I think that appointment was like the first thing, like I think it was like nine o'clock. Left that appointment, went home and I basically just made myself a bath.

Was in it for like maybe. Half an hour, 45 minutes and was timing my contractions and they were. Like at five minutes apart. Okay. And my app kept being like, go to the hospital. And so I, like my midwife was in doing prenatal visits and I knew that 'cause like I just come from seeing them. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, but like I think I'm gonna go to the hospital.

So I called and spoke to the covering midwife and they're like, are you sure? We were just seen. And I was like, no. Like it's pretty regular now. And they're like, okay, one of somebody from the team will meet you there. So I went to the I went to the hospital and I got there and the hospital was like, yeah, you're definitely in my birth.

And my, when my midwife got there, my midwife was like you've just thinking. Having Braxton Hicks and kind of stuff like, are we sure? Are you ready for do we, 'cause I'm like, my midwife was like, we can start doing things to make it happen, but do you wanna dive in?

And I was like, I wanna dive in. Yeah. I want this to happen. So they started filling the pool, which is so funny. This is the funniest. I think this is funny is you have to bring a hose to the hospital. Yeah. Which is it's like you have to buy a garden hose and bring your garden hose.

While we had our garden hose, we handed over a garden hose so that they could start filling our pool and stuff. And so they started filling the pool and we got, as they were filling the pool, I was like, just in triage and things were starting to get more and more progressing and more and more painful.

Yeah. And so it was like, yeah, this is definitely happening. And we I happened to go from like the triage to a room that was the furthest. From triage seemed like. Yeah. And so it was a long walk and we got there and unfortunately when they filled the pool, like it takes a long time.

But they had a student nurse do it and she didn't know that you can't just make it like a hot tub. Oh no. So the pool was too hot. And they were like, no, we can't. Like we have to take water out of the pool. Yeah. And cool it down. So they had to get baby like the baby bathtubs and they were like filling it and emptying it in the bathtub to take water out because it was too hot.

And then they were going to all the ice machines and spilling. Filling buckets and coming back and putting buckets of ice in the pool. And so it took them a long time to cool down the pool. And so in all that time I was just I went into the shower and I was just like roaming around the room trying to find comfortable positions, like trying to do things to make myself comfortable.

And so what were you finding was helping during that time? Was anyone doing counter pressure? I didn't I did have my husband do counter pressure, but it wasn't as helpful as it had been with my son. Yeah. And to be honest, I was starting to feel a bit like this is like hard, these contractions are harder than I expected or and with my son, I had really told myself like. I had back labor. Everybody says back labor is like awful, and I had made it all the way to pushing without an epidural. I'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah. And then this time it was like things were just like more intense and I was like, each time was feeling like, oh my gosh, like how am I gonna make it to the end, and so I started to feel just like really uncomfortable and unsettled. And then finally they were like, okay, the pool's ready. And so that was the like, 'cause I. I came into the hospital and I think I got checked into the hospital around 11:00 AM I got to the pool probably 1 30, 2 o'clock. Okay.

So it was taking them a long time to and I think I got in the labor room. Between 1230 and one and it had taken them almost an hour to cool down the pool. Like it was ridiculous. Oh man. So then finally I got in the pool and this is like both I feel like really bad for all the effort put into the pool.

But I got into the pool, I sat in and was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. So happy to be in this pool. I'm this is so comfortable. This is amazing. And then all of a sudden, like things just went from like zero to a hundred. Oh, okay. Like it was just all of a sudden it was like so intense and I was like.

Oh my gosh. And I had two or three contractions and like, when I got in the pool, my midwife was like, I think I'm gonna step out and grab something. Yeah. And then, but I got in the pool, I settled, and my midwife was just about to leave, and I was just like, oh, like things were bad. And I was just like, oh, this is too much.

I can't do I'm in so much pain. And yeah. And they were like, what do you wanna do? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And so then my midwife was like, we can consult if you want to do an epidural. And I was like, yeah. Just I just, I'm in so much pain and I was just like, felt so, like I couldn't get comfortable.

I couldn't, like there was just no position. Nothing. Yeah. And it was just, yeah, it was so intense. And did they not check your cervix at this point? So my midwife was like, let me check you. Okay. Can I get you out of the tub to check you? So I got outta the tub and when I got outta the tub, my water broke and there was meconium Okay.

In the water. And my midwife checked me and like they'd already called for the for the, per the anesthesiologist, but my midwife was like, they might get here and say you're too far along. My midwife checked me and was like, you are definitely like nine, between nine and 10 centimeters.

Okay. And then it, like I was from the second that my water broke and I was like, I was seated on the edge of the, the bed and I would have, every time there'd be a contraction, there'd be like a huge gush of water. And I definitely had like. The urge push in those moments. And that's where I was like, oh I never had that with my son. Yeah. The anesthesiologist came in and was like, let's do something to make you more comfortable. So the anesthesiologist came in and was like, I'm gonna give you something that is like fast acting and then I'll give you something to follow to be long acting.

So they still I had to hold myself still and I was like fighting the urge to push and I was getting an epidural. Oh, gosh. Yeah. And so like in talking like debriefing with my midwife, I was like, obviously, like I was experiencing like the, like if I had just gone with it I would've just had a baby like.

Kind of almost an hour earlier. Yeah. Because then I got the epidural and it slowed everything down. But, but I was there, I was like, basically ready. That's what you needed at that moment. Yeah. But in, in retrospect, because then what, like some of the other things that happened, I'm like, I'm happy I needed that epidural for some of the other things.

So it's that's good. I got it. Yeah. But I also was basically, this baby was like, okay, I'm coming out. And I was like, Nope, nope. Give me the drugs first. Yeah. Just to Hold on a minute. Yeah. Yeah. So then. They gave me the drugs. They, because I had meconium, they were like, we have to start doing the continuous monitoring.

So they strapped the continuous monitor on me and I was then out of the pool, and I'm on the bed. And when they put the continuous monitor, my daughter, like when I had contractions, she would experience like a dip. Okay. And so they called in. They called for the. The ob, GYN and the ob GYN was like, while they were waiting for them to show up they, like my midwife repositioned me.

And whenever they I was repositioned baby would like my daughter would calm down. Okay. Like an heartbeat would come down and so did the obs was just like, Hey if you can get. If you can reposition and things settle, then let's just try to get this baby out as quick as possible.

So they're like, okay, cool. So they gave me, I think it's Pitocin, to like just kick, to bring back, because the epidural had slowed everything down. They were like, gave me Pitocin to just bring everything back up. Yeah. And it was like, okay, we're gonna push, like we're gonna do this. And I was like, yep, let's do it.

And I, I felt like loopy. Because having gone from like this, like so intense, like I was so uncomfortable and so much pain and everything to all of a sudden being frozen, I was just like, I felt almost like really light or really oh, like this is so nice, I can breathe a little bit.

Yeah. And so then they were like, let's push. And I was like, I'm on. I'm like, let's do this. You got that little refresh that you're like, okay, I'm ready to start pushing. Yeah. And so I was just like really there and really present and I also really felt like I. I could do it. I could push I, and I had worried before going into labor with my daughter because of the fact that with my son, they said that my pushing was ineffective or like it wasn't productive.

Yeah. And like my midwife had been like, that was like situation, right? That doesn't mean you can't push productively. But like in that situation, your son wasn't being. Like moved forward in that, that like multiple different reasons. So then like they're like, we're gonna do this, we're pushing.

And I was like, yes. And I really felt like I was able to do it. I was able to push, I was there. They had actually, and I didn't know this till afterwards, but because my daughter like multiple times, like the heartbeat had was, she was getting more and more in distress that they had consulted obs, but before OBS showed up to my daughter was born and stuff, and so I was, that was and my midwife was so good about being like, let's turn, let's reposition. Okay. Let's, like anytime that was having a contraction and stuff. And so like in. I was so happy to have somebody there that was so assertive and was let my body follow the let my body do this, in a natural way, yeah. And I had somebody where I didn't have to, you didn't have to do that thinking you had someone there who's Hey, this is the next step. We're gonna do the next position, and you just. Surrender to that. Yeah, exactly. And so it was I was so thankful to have a midwife there and to, yeah.

And so my daughter was born and my daughter, she did, first off, she had the. I forget what they call it, but it's like she had a hand at, on her cheek. Okay. A nuchal hand. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And so she, so my midwife said the second that they realized that the hand was there, it was like, oh, it's gonna be tearing.

And so I did have some tearing. Okay. I didn't feel any of it because of the epidural. But then the other thing is my daughter had cord wrapped around her twice. Okay. And so that's I think the stress and stuff was coming from that. Yeah. My daughter came out and they they did took the cord out from around her, put her on me, and I was just like, over the moon.

Yeah. I was just, I felt amazing to have. I had this vaginal delivery, I felt so excited to have this baby, like beyond me and be able to look at, and I just felt like so much joy. Yeah. That's nice. She, yeah, it was beautiful. She didn't cry, so they she was looking at me, so I wasn't like, concerned about, about like any, anything, but she was like looking at me and, or just had her eyes open but wasn't crying. Yeah. So they did do section and they did consult. They consulted NICU to come up just because like her oxygen was low, but the NICU did some more suction and then said, we think that, that the skin to skin with mom is usually what babies like this need. Okay. And she hadn't even honestly, I don't think she cried in her first hour. She was just like alert and looking around and Yeah. And that stuff. So then she was placed on me and I breastfed her and we.

Stared at each other, and it was lovely. Throughout this whole time, I was not at all aware, but apparently I was having a postpartum hemorrhage. Okay. And, yeah. And so then OBS was consulted again about that. And that's where they did that. They like did a sweep to try to bring. Any, anything out. Yeah.

And like to get clots out and all that stuff. And so I'm glad that I had that epidural because that is traditionally pretty painful. Yes. To have somebody do that sweep and then also I had a second degree tear and so they needed to do that repair and. That whole time, like I was not at all aware of anything going on down there. You were just simplest holding your baby. Yeah. Yeah. And so I, so it's like I, I didn't plan to have an epidural. I don't have strong feelings either way about it. But I was like, happy that I did because I was just able to just be there with her and be present and not even aware that somebody was, yeah. Did all the stuff, all the other stuff going on, yeah. And stuff. And so it, that was, that felt. Beautiful. I felt so happy to have had that that time, and especially given like that with my son that I didn't after the C-section. So it just felt beautiful. Yeah. And then how were the first few days postpartum in the hospital?

That's so then the next day at 20 hours it was determined that my daughter had. Was dat positive. So it's like she had in her like blood work was done because I was RH positive. And so because of that, they did her cord blood and in her cord blood it showed that she had antibodies present in her blood that were made because she had come in contact with my blood.

Okay. Because of that, she was at risk of having jaundice and having more severe jaundice. And also at risk of of doing, of being having anemia. Okay. And so because of that, they were. Concerns. So we were we were at the 20 hour mark. We were thinking we were gonna go home, and then they had told me that she was DAP positive and they needed to do more blood work.

And I was like, okay. And then all of a sudden it was like, she is jaundice and we hadn't even I like in her eyes maybe, but like other than that, like she. She wasn't sleepy, she was eating well. There wasn't anything else. Yeah. And so it was a shocker to have somebody walk in the room and be like, she's jaundice.

We're taking her to nicu. Yeah. And I was like, what? And so I guess because she was that positive, they were concerned that it. It does have a tendency to get more severe, the jaundice and also because it would be before 24 hours. And jaundice before 24 hours tends to get, and so they responded quicker and so we didn't do any because like there, they wasn't even considered to do it on.

On the ward to do like phototherapy. Yeah. They just immediately sent her up and stuff. And so that was like shocking 'cause I just never, it never crossed my mind that I'd have a baby go to nicu. And so that just felt really shocking. And it also felt shocking because. I was getting ready to go home.

Like my son was like staying with my parents. He wanted to see us, he wanted us to come home. And also my kids are their birthdays are, they're four, four days minus four years. So my daughter is born four days before my son's fourth birthday. Yeah. So I was like. If she's I, it just felt like it felt like I like having a child go to nicu and we were initially told that she would be there for a week.

Oh, okay. It was like. Oh my gosh. Like I'm gonna miss my son's birthday. Or I'm like, I'm gonna have to leave her in NICU and go home to, it just felt like all of a sudden, just as we were talking about before, you feel torn already between these two babies and now it's I have one at home now.

One in the hospital. You just, yeah. You just feel torn between your two babies. Yeah. And so it felt really hard. Luckily she actually did really well on phototherapy. She was, she didn't need they were concerned about potentially needing a transfusion, and she didn't, she never became she never ended up having anemia.

And so they had initially said. That she would stay in NICU for a week and she actually ended up only staying in there for three days. Oh good. So that was really nice. And so you were home in time for your son's birthday? Yeah. Yeah. So her, my daughter's first day, like home from the hospital was on my son's fourth birthday.

Yeah. And yeah, it was that day felt amazing because it was like, we're all home, we're all together, and my son was really excited about having a sister and, and it just felt like we could all be together. And celebrate like us as a family. How was the NICU stay though?

Oh, the NICU stay was not ideal. Yeah. Like the NICU nurses were so nice and like I, I was really, I really felt cared for by the NICU nurses and like the biggest issue I had with the stay were the fact that. The nicu, like breastfeeding chair was so uncomfortable. Yeah. I did the, I slept there like overnight just so I could try to like, 'cause I was trying to, my daughter was.

Had been bottle fed to she, she had spent an hour on like treatment where she wasn't receiving any quick food. She was just on iv. Okay. And then when they did start feeds again, they started her on bottle. Okay. And then, so then I was trying to get my milk in and and stuff, and so I stayed over.

I I was. Staying overnight, a few days postpartum. And I was on a pullout chair that was sloped. And it ended up being that my feet ended up like swelling. Oh. Yeah. Because the way I was sloped, it was not helpful for somebody who's newly postpartum. And who had I'd had lots of IV from the fact that.

I had hemorrhaged and stuff, and so they had been giving me stuff to, to stop the bleeding and anyways, so then I also was really far from the bathroom and I was a newly postpartum and the breast pump wasn't good. Yeah. So I had to bring my own breast pump, but then I was in, they have two separate sections in the Saskatoon nicu.

Like they've the one that is intensive care and then the one that's like the kind of intermediate. Yeah. And I was in intensive one, and that is the, that one doesn't have. Like the breast pump cleaning station. Yeah. It's not, it is not designed very well. Like the bathroom is so far Yeah. To go wash your pump parts is so far and then you can't eat in there.

Like it's honestly not designed for postpartum moms. No, it wasn't at all. And so that part of it was really. Miserable. Like just feeling 'cause I didn't wanna leave my daughter's side and I wanted to be there. And obviously like she was only there for three days, so I never got past that.

Like I know moms who have children in there longer, they have to eventually come to you can't be there 24 7. But I was trying to be there 24 7 and it was like, like I would try to like strategically plan, like I'm gonna go. Go to the washroom and I'll bring food with me and shove it in my mouth so I can get back here as quickly as possible.

Like I was like not set up at all for postpartum women Exactly. And stuff. And yeah, that was hard. And I didn't like it, but I was really grateful for the nurses, the NICU nurses. They were so kind. And like on my son's birthday when we were being discharged, they were like, oh, it's your son's birthday.

And they all remembered and Aw. And and several of the nurses came to say goodbye and yeah, like we were only there for three days and it just, they just made us feel cared about and stuff and, yeah. So not fun, but also I appreciated the care we got. Yeah. Yeah. When you, the NICU is not fun, but you do find a little community there, like a community of support.

Once, once you're in the nicu. Yeah. Yeah. And so that was totally appreciated and stuff. Or how has Yeah. Postpartum been, I'm sure it's been completely different than your son. Oh my gosh, it's been so different. It was just so night and day different. Like I loved being able to go places like when my daughter was tiny and we could.

I could go out for coffee with friends and she was like there like portable because my son never went to, into any places. Yeah. When he was that small, nowhere was open or I wasn't comfortable taking him anywhere. Yeah. And then when, like, when my daughter got bigger, we started to go to baby groups and like we, we tried everything.

It was fun. It was like, it was fun to see her interact. It was. Awesome. To meet other moms, to be able to talk to people, we went to the swim. Like a swim group regularly. And it just it was like realizing that was actually like, lovely, but also like I reflected with my counselor about it.

It was really hard to realize how much I missed, with my son and to also realize wow, if I had some of this stuff, it would've made it so much easier. Women aren't supposed to give birth and hide out in a house for a year, it's not healthy. Yeah. And you at the time you knew you were missing out on stuff, but like now once you had your daughter, you realized just how much you were missing that community.

Yeah. And so that that was really really awesome to be able to do. And then the care from the midwives is completely different too. Yeah. Oh, it was like, I just I like, because I hadn't even had a nurse come into my house at all. That's for people who don't have a midwife, they usually at least have one home visit from a nurse.

But I didn't even get that. And then having a midwife and my midwife. Both came and met with me when baby was in nicu. Which was not required at all. Yeah. Because baby wasn't under my midwife's care and my midwife was just coming to see how I was feeling and how I was doing. And then my midwife came and planned a longer visit just to talk about how, like just emotionally, like how I had felt about like the whole.

Just everything, yeah. And and dedicating that time to just spend with me and debrief from my delivery. And it was just so good. It was so therapeutic. And it's also it makes me really sad for the fact that I was lucky to get a midwife. Yeah.

Because in Saskatoon it is hard. And I'm like, but everybody should have this. I know. I wish everyone could get that care because it truly does change your postpartum experience. Yeah. It was and at the end, like when, like I was like. Hugging my midwife. I was like, I don't like, I'm gonna miss you.

Because it was somebody who I really felt like cared about me. It, yeah. I just, I really appreciated the care I got and I feel like everybody should get that for every pregnancy. Wow. Donna, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and sharing both of your stories. They were both.

Very different. And I think, yeah, they were amazing. So thank you so much and I'm so happy that, thank you. You got your VBAC and you got the care that you deserve. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. You are welcome. Okay, and to end the show, there are two questions that I'm going to be asking everyone. So what is a piece of advice you would give to someone heading toward their labor?

I think to be. Flexible. I think like when it comes to the idea of knowing what you want, it's it's good. But at the same time I feel you just don't know what's gonna happen. And so it's to have an open mind, and if possible, like having the provider that has had conversations with you and supports you is amazing.

If you can get that. Yeah. But at the same time I, I didn't. Plan or want a C-section. And I chose to have one in the moment. And I feel like at the time, that was just the best thing in that moment, yeah. And then I wanted to have a water birth, and I didn't spend a lot of time in that pool.

But in the end it's that was what was for. The best. Yeah. And afterwards I reflected my midwife was like, actually, it's really good not to be in the water when you have a postpartum hemorrhage. And I just am like, what happened? What needed to happen happened, right?

Yes. Yes. And so just I'm happy. Like I'm just being like, in those moments, I did the best, the healthcare professionals did the best and, and then happy for the good things that came of, of it. So it's if you're able to be flexible with your expectations, I think that's important for especially first time, right?

Yeah. Like you just don't know what's coming, okay. For sure. And what surprised you the most about postpartum? I think that, like people talk about postpartum, your body changing, but it's I feel like mentally I've changed. Yeah. I didn't know, expected in the ways it did happen.

Like I think my brain just works differently. Like I used to have a better kind of, like I, my brain used to just hold memory different, yeah. I used to be able to plan in my head more than I do now but also to the capacity of I am an extreme extrovert. And now I value a lot more time to myself and I'm more okay with that than I was before.

And. I would've been really surprised before giving birth to hear that. And I also would've, I think I had the opinion before giving birth. I don't wanna let this, these kids change me. I still wanna be me. Yeah. And I am, and I'm happy with me and I'm love being a mom. And I didn't expect to to change how I.

Spend my time or my priorities or how much kind of socialization I need, yeah. It just, yeah, that kind of surprised me. Yeah. Yeah. And I think also just in general, the continuous, like I was surprised by like how much each kind of month something changes with as kids grow. Yes. So it's like you're just always on your toes.

Yes. They definitely do keep you on your toes, that's for sure. Yeah. Okay. Awesome. That is amazing advice. I love that because yeah, becoming a mother completely changes you in ways you wouldn't even expect. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Donna, thank you so much for sharing. Yeah. And thank you for doing this podcast.

I love giving that you're giving women the opportunity to share and also that like other women have the opportunity to learn from like each other, yes. Absolutely. I love it.