Alyssa H. | Two hospital water births with midwives, doula support, oral ties, and PP bleeding.

In today’s episode of Moony Birth Stories, we welcome Alyssa from Saskatoon as she shares the pregnancy and birth stories of her two children, Amelia & Theodore. 

Alyssa’s first birth was a hospital birth under the care of a midwife. She initially felt very fearful of birth, but after diving deep into research she planned for a hospital water birth. Alyssa unfortunately had a negative experience with her first doula but thankfully had the support of her midwife and husband. Alyssa goes on to share her experience with oral ties. 

Alyssa’s plan for her second birth remained the same as with her first and this time they hired a doula that was more aligned with them. Alyssa went on to have another incredible hospital water birth. She experienced a significant amount of bleeding postpartum which led to another hospital visit. 

Take a listen as we chat about the incredible care midwives offer, holistic birth, and MORE! 

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Transcript

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 On tonight's episode, we are joined by Alyssa from Saskatoon. She shares the pregnancy and birth story of her daughter Amelia, and her son Theodore. Alyssa had a midwife for both of her pregnancies. She then goes on to share about her experience with a water birth in the hospital again for both births.

Alyssa unfortunately had a negative experience with her first doula, but had a better experience with a different doula for her second birth. Alyssa shares more about her breastfeeding journey and her experience with both of her children having oral ties.

Okay, let's start by telling everyone a little bit about yourself. Okay. I am, I feel like I'm 20 years old, but I'm definitely not. I'm in my thirties. I have two beautiful kids. I have an amazing dog and a really great husband who's been like such a great support in all of this and my crazy woo pregnancy and life things, yeah, we've been, we've known each other since high school. We've started dating outside of high school, so yeah, we've been together a long time. Yeah. Awesome. And then tell us the road to getting pregnant. We got married and then I had an IUD at the time and. The weekend after our wedding, I went and had it removed, and then we had a month kind of grace period.

Then we started actually trying I was still a little bit new. I've been using the Billings ovulation method and I was still a bit new to it at that point, so I was figuring it out in that month. And can you explain a little bit about what that is? Oh, okay. So the billings ovulation method is cervical mucus method.

But it doesn't involve actual you're not touching your cervix. So that's originally what I thought it was and I was like, whoa, I can't do that. Whoa, no. Yeah. But it it's actually really common in. Third world countries. It's one of the most popular birth control methods there.

Because it literally just involves your feeling, ULAR feeling, I guess is the proper term. Yeah. And then what like on underwear or toilet paper. So it's super easy. Costs you $0. And it's super unique to you, which I thought was super cool. And so we, we did that and I still use that and I've only gotten pregnant twice when I wanted to, so it's worked really well for us.

So yeah, we had a grace period and then the next month we officially tried and then I found out I was pregnant the following month. So that was exciting and scary all at the same time. I definitely thought in my head I thought it would take longer. Yeah. But it did not for us. So I immediately got to researching.

Still at that point in my life, I was like terrified of birth. I was terrified of pain and I was terrified of like the whole experience. And I had the movie seen in my head. You're screaming, there's bright lights, know ankles are cranked behind your head and everyone's yelling at you.

I had all that in my head and I was like, oh my God, I have to do that. Yeah. Oh my god. And that's when I started following some different accounts on Instagram, which I guess that's how we all research these days. Yeah. Instagram and TikTok. Totally. Yeah. So I learned that's actually not the way you need to do it if you don't want to.

I learned you could give birth in the water. Whoa, that's a cool didn't know that. I learned about midwives and, hypnobirthing. And then I went right down that rabbit hole 'cause it just so aligned with me. And then I started just attacking my fears one by one. So if I was scared of something, I would like deep dive, research it, and then cross it off my list, then go to the next thing.

So I had actually, I was actually very afraid of birth itself. And then my second fear. Was like feeding. And that's how I stumbled upon Carly Huden. And I took her prepped parent course and like that just completely got rid of any fear I had. Yeah. Yeah. Carly is an SLP. Yeah. Yeah. And she is amazing and she's so great.

She diagnosed both my kids with their tongue and lip ties and all that kind of stuff. Like she is amazing. She's just like a beautiful human. Like when you talk to her, I'm like, you should be my friend. Yeah. You're amazing. So I did her course and she had a doula on her course and I ended up hiring that doula for my first and that doula had shared with us some other birthing things and it was like a two page document of you get all these choices. Like in birth and everything like that. It was all new, all things that I didn't know. Yeah. So we got to do a lot of learning with that, which was exciting. And then I applied to the midwifery program and I got in, which was very lucky because we don't have enough midwives.

Yeah. And I got paired with Lauren, who again, amazing, beautiful human, love her to bits. She is woo for me and like super scientific for my husband. So she really supported us great in two different ways. That was really awesome. Can I just say, I am so surprised to know that you didn't know all of this before your first pregnancy.

Like me knowing who you are now and all throughout your two pregnancies and your births, you have come such a far away it sounds literally, yeah. Literally, honestly, when I got pregnant with Amelia, I joked, I was like, I wanna be so drugged and knocked out. I just wanna wake up with a baby in my arms.

I don't wanna remember anything. Yeah. It really goes to show that you can learn so much in such a short period of time. I know nine months seems like a long time, but to learn everything you need to know about birth and your options and yeah. It can be overwhelming, but it's good to know that, yeah, you.

Found people who were there to help you and did all of your own research and you really changed your mindset around pregnancy and birth. Yeah, like honestly, I couldn't be more polar opposite now. Yeah. Okay. So ta take us into how your pregnancy went from there. How was your first trimester?

First trimester, I spent a lot of time, I worked by city hospital. I spent a lot of time in the Earls parking lot, puking. Oh no. I would start driving home from work and whoop right into their parking lot. Couldn't even make it home like it was not so much morning sickness. That's a lie. I had morning sickness and then I had afternoon sickness as well.

Yeah. That first trimester was pretty. Pretty green. But my midwife had given me some good tips with some different vitamins and things like that, that I could try and it got better, which was nice. Like it, it never got severe enough that it was like hospitalized or anything like that. Yeah. I was so tired.

Growing a human is hard work. I would come home from work and just, I swear I would eat supper and lay on that couch from 5:00 PM until 9:00 PM and then go to bed at nine. Yeah. It was exhausting. But other than that, like nothing super crazy in my pregnancy with my first it was a pretty, it was pretty good.

I feel like I'll get a belly really fast. Okay. Which I feel like help me to be like, I'm doing this, like this is it, this is like visual proof that I am growing a child. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. And then did you do any ultrasounds? We did with Amelia, we did the confirmation one. We're going to tell family slightly earlier than what's I'm doing.

Like air quotes normal. 'cause I hate that word when it involves pregnancy. Yeah. But we were telling our family earlier than what most people do. So we did I think they called it like a viability scan. Yeah. Like just, I wanted to make sure we had a heartbeat before we were telling family at I believe, I'm pretty sure it was Thanksgiving.

Yeah. So we were telling people, so then we got a viability scan. We did a gender, a 20 week one. And then for some reason I also had a third trimester one, which I don't know why I did. Okay. Awesome. And yeah, with all the research and everything that you did you have any plans going into your birth?

Oh, as soon as I got in the midwife program and had those conversations with that doula, I was like, natural water birth, dark room, dim lights, only my husband midwife doula in the room. I want battery powered candles everywhere. I want a diffuser with a scent that I like would do my meditations with.

And then. Smell it. And then, so that's what I wanted in my labor. I made a labor playlist, I brought my own towels, my own setting. Yeah, I did it all. Yeah. And so you were wanting a hospital ver birth rather than a home birth. Can you explain your reasoning there? Yeah, so with it being my first, I still was a little, I wanted the water birth.

We rent our basement out. So I didn't love the idea of not knowing what time, being loud footsteps, like filling up the tub. I didn't love that idea of having to be conscious of other people, if that makes sense. Like I didn't wanna worry about being too loud or whatever, because I felt like that would distract me from like my, like when I labor, I'm like tunnel vision, like I am locked in, yeah.

So I didn't wanna get thrown off my. Thrown off my game. Yeah. And my husband just was not comfortable with it. I was like, ha. And he was like, no. From the beginning. Okay. So we compromised and did JPCH water birth. Yeah. And yeah. As hands off as possible. All of your own comforts.

Yeah. That sounds lovely. Yeah. Yeah. I caught both my babies too. Oh, beautiful. Yeah. So that's super nice. Yeah, you're jumping ahead and I'm getting excited to hear your birth. So let's go into how labor started for you. I was at work in the morning. I had a midwife appointment early afternoon, went and how many weeks were you at this point?

I was 39 and two or 39 and three. Okay. Went to the appointment. I work right across the street, so I walked there. She offered me, Lauren offered me a sweep and I was like, Kel freaking, yeah, let's get this show on the road here. So I did a sweep and. I had a gush of fluid in the office.

Oh, wow. So I was like no. I undo that. Undo that. I'm not ready. No. Yeah, it is like this is real now. Yeah. Yeah. And then, so Lauren looked at me and my husband and she's I'll be seeing you guys later. Go home, get some rest, take a nap.

I call me later. So I texted my doula, let her know. And then went home. I took two gravel and I went to bed for as long as I could. 'cause that's what my midwife said, just sleep as long as you can at this point. So I went home and I laid in bed for probably I probably actually sat for an hour, and then I.

Was my eyes were closed and I was uncomfortable, but like still eyes closed, resting. And then it got to a point where I had to tell my husband that I needed the TENS machine put on, so he put the tens machine on my back. That's when I was like, maybe you need to give our doula a heads up. That like shit's hitting the fan now because it was like starting to be like, ooh, like can talk through it, but like very uncomfortable.

Yeah. To which we received a text message of, oh mama, you got hours to go. Keep going. You got this. Okay. That feels, and I, that feels very dismissive. It did. And I was like, if I've got hours to go, I can't do this. Yeah. I'm not capable. This is, if this is the beginning and it's hours and it's like I can't do it.

And it was like so deflating almost of being like. Why would I ever pick this birth? Like the way I can't do that. No way. So then we started utilizing movement. And like my husband and I first timers here we don't know what we're doing. Yeah. We're like, I guess movement.

So I tried to walk around our house a little bit, use the birth ball. He tried to do some points on my back, but like at that point he could just look at me. I'm like, stop it. Oh my God. Yeah. And I was like, you need to call this girl up again and get her here, because I'm not okay. And again, we're met with, I don't come until later.

Okay. Basically, yeah. And in the end of our birth, we found out that this. Doula had, I think it was six clients that month, and they all happened to birth in the same week, and I was the last one. Oh, okay. So I think she was just super burnt out and just very tired. And so that sucked for me, basically.

And so yeah, so then things really started picking up and not being able to breathe through contractions, like pacing, like sweating, like I was losing it and like getting very elevated. And that's when I was like, honestly Mitch, you need to call Lauren and if she doesn't come here, we're going to the hospital.

'cause I'm not, I can't do this. Like we I drugs, gimme drugs. Yeah. Gimme, gimme something. Were you timing the contractions at this point? My husband was Okay. I was like on another planet, like I couldn't even text on my phone. Like I couldn't look at my phone, I couldn't do anything. Yeah. And he called Lauren or called the line Paige.

Lauren called us back. And I had a contraction on the phone and she was like, oh, I'm, I was just driving home, that sounds like a good one, so I'm gonna swing by your house. No. So she was like, send her to the shower and I'll be there right away. So I got into the shower. They call it the midwife's epidural because damn, that water's effective.

It's it like, really, it gave me like a breath to be like it, I had actually brought me back to my body. And Lauren came into the house, I had another contraction, and she stops at the front door and goes, I'm gonna grab my bag. Oh, wow. She goes back to her car, gets her bag, comes in and sits on the floor of the shower, and my dogs are in the bathroom with us.

She's petting my dogs and like having a conversation with me. And then I have another con, another contraction, and she looks at me and she's yeah, we're in labor. Yeah. Yeah, we're. She's yeah. And she's just honestly just sitting there and like supporting me and it was one of my favorite moments of the labor, just us in the shower, just having our girl talk.

Yeah. It sounds like exactly what you needed in that moment was just a supportive person there. Yeah, totally. And then, so she helped me back to my bed and because basically she was like, we need do you wanna know how far you are? 'cause 'cause I was saying how I felt defeated and all that stuff.

And so I asked her to check me because I was like, if I'm one centimeter right now, like I don't know what I'm gonna do. Like I, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Yeah. So she checked me and I was a. Seven at that point. Yeah. So she's depending how busy the hospital is, you may or may not get a bed. But she's I can call.

And I was like, yeah, let's do that. Yeah I'm ready. Pack the car. Let's go. Yeah. At a seven. Yeah. Things aren't moving. Yeah. And so she called and there was one mom on the floor that gave birth the day before, and there wasn't anybody in active labor. On the floor. Okay. So she's I got to pick my favorite room.

And they're setting up, I'm like, we're heading out and I'm gonna set up the pool in my favorite room. Oh, awesome. Yeah. So she, I was like, at this point, starting to lose it again. I was making my way to the car. My husband and Lauren were talking and she said, hit a lot of bumps on your way there, basically.

So she went ahead of us to get the pool set up and everything like that. We drove and that was like a white knuckle drive for me. I was grabbing everything in the car, just like breathing. And I was like, I'm, this baby's coming in the car. Oh my God. Yeah. Holy crap. But we get to the hospital we get.

Into Mitch grabs me a wheelchair. We go up to the room and I stand up from the wheelchair and I'm starting my transition at that point, like my transition in labor room. Yeah. And I felt so bad 'cause this lovely, amazing young nurse, so happy, so plate, she goes, hi, my name's so and and I look her dead in the eye and I go shut the F up.

Rebecca was her name was Rebecca. And it's it scars me. I'm like, shut the F up Rebecca. I need effing drugs. And I'm just screaming and I am a bear, like after my birthday. Rebecca and I had to have a conversation and I had to issue some deep apologies. Yeah. Oh, course. But I was just like, Rebecca, get outta my way.

You're standing in the way between me and my drugs. Yeah. Get outta here. And I'm crying at this point. And Lauren's okay, what's happening? Let's, let's rein it in here. Let's regroup. Yep. Yeah. And I'm like, I want morphine, I want fentanyl, I want anything. I want all of it together.

And she was like, okay. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. If you want me to call it for an epidural for you, I can, but you know that, that means you can't have a water birth if that's what you want. And then I'm crying because I ruined my birth and I can't do it, and blah, blah, blah. And it's done for me and I suck and I can't even birth up baby.

Right? And she's you know what? Why don't you go to the shower and I'm gonna finish filling up the pool and I'm gonna come talk to you in two minutes. And I was like crying. And I go to the shower and she whispers to my husband. She's we don't have time for an epidural. Okay. Yeah, she do.

Yeah. No, we don't have time for that. Yeah. And so has doula joined us at this point yet? No. Okay. No, she hasn't. Yeah. She had previously texted us that she was gonna have supper. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's unfortunate. So I had the, I forget the name, you probably know where, like the ba base of your spine.

Like it's in like puffy, like when the baby's like descending and they can tell how far along you are. So basically I had, yeah, I can't think of what the name is. I had got in the door, stripped off all my clothes. Like a feral animal. Yeah. Screamed at lovely Rebecca. Yeah. And Lauren knew that. That was transition and baby was coming, whether I wanted an epidural or not, baby was coming.

So I was in the shower for I don't know how long. I did a couple different positions and suddenly doula joined us. And I feel like if I was in a better frame of mind or like a more clear, I would've just been like, you can just go, because, like, why do you get to join us for the good part of this?

Yeah. You weren't here when I needed you. Yeah. And I don't need you now. Like I'm made it this far without you. Yeah. But I was so laser focused at that point, and I knew baby was coming and I could just, I knew I could feel it. And I got to then switch my mindset to every contraction is bringing me closer to baby.

I'm gonna ride this out because it's bringing me closer to baby. I can do anything for 30 seconds. I. I'm gonna breathe. I'm gonna breathe this baby down and I'm gonna meet baby. And I could just shift my brain and like my brain just started you can do this. You're doing it like you've made it this far.

And I could just that's when I think I met myself in labor for the first time. Yeah. And I was like, this bitch is powerful. Who is this? Who is this? Yeah. She's fierce. And I was just honed in on it and then Lauren's okay, let's go to the pool. And I think I had two contractions in the pool.

I leaned over the side of it and like as soon as I got into the water, it like. Pain a hundred to like pain five. Like the water was so amazing. Like just getting into it was so amazing. Yeah. Awesome. And it had taken them a little bit of time because they filled it up too hot and so the nurses were bringing in like ice.

And then it just, I got to a point where I was like, I don't care how hot or cold this is. Like I'm, that's where I'm headed. That's where I need to be. Like I know baby is coming. Yeah. So I waddled my, as fast as somebody in that situation can go got in the pool, had maybe one or two contractions in the pool her head was out.

Wow. Then Lauren was like, baby's coming, encouraging. And then she's reached down and then I felt her head and I'm crying 'cause I'm like, I'm doing it like I'm doing it. And then one more contraction. And then I reached down and I just brought her up to my chest and I sat down.

And then, yeah, we got to sit for, I don't know, it felt like hours, but, it wasn't, yeah. But we got to sit and we got some towels put on us in the pool to help keep her warm and we got to sit there for a while. And then my husband got to clamp the cord and we cut the cord after we had some long delayed cord clamping and yeah.

That's how she came out. Awesome. It was great. And then how was, it was magical and empowering. Those are words I would use to describe my birth. Yeah, that's, and that's how birth should be. Yeah. That's amazing. And then how was it delivering the placenta and immediate postpartum? My placenta was a bit tricky.

I couldn't get it out in the pool. So then she had me come out and we did a different, a couple different positions. And it eventually came out Pitocin wasn't on my birth plan. Yeah. But then with how long it was taking, we had had a good conversation about it and I decided to get it.

So then I got it in just I am in my leg. Yeah. 'Cause I didn't have any IVs in my arms. I didn't have any, I only had fetal monitoring just with the Doppel. Yeah. The Doppler. So very hands off the whole time. So I. Decided on the Pitocin after our conversation, she made really good points and it sounded like something I needed.

So we did that. And then it was it was fine after that for Amelia. We got our delayed, or like our skin to skin. They did all her stuff on me. I noticed right away she had a small stroke bite and I was like, oh, she's tongue tied. And then Lauren looked in her mouth and she's she's tongue and lip tied.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So at 1130 at night, I'm like opening her mouth, sending pictures to Carly. Yeah. Being like, is this the tongue in the lip tie? Because it really hurts to breastfeed, like really bad. Yeah. And honestly fast forward to when I met Carly for the post-procedural tongue tie stuff I had four spots around my nipples that were like blood because her tie was so big. Yeah. That when she would latch, she would rub it raw and I would bleed. So I literally would go regular nursing position, football, regular, and then flip sides. Regular football position. Yeah. Like toe curling latch. It hurt so bad.

Yeah. And that's why I knew it wasn't right. And the nurse had that had come in was like, oh yeah, it does hurt a little to breastfeed. I was like, no, this isn't a little, yeah. This is not normal. This is this is a lot of hurt. Yeah. So yeah, that's how Amelia came earth side.

Amazing. And then how long did you spend in the hospital? With a midwife, you're allowed to leave in three hours. Yeah. Which feels illegal. 'cause I'm like, I'm a first timer. I feel like I need to be here. Yeah. What do you mean I get to take this baby home? Yeah. This fresh. No, I'm not baby. I, yeah, I'm not qualified.

I, no. Yeah. So Lauren just said, what time do you wanna go home? And I said, 10:00 AM And she said, that's when I'll sign your papers for then. And she filled out all the paperwork. And then when the morning came, they basically, like the nurses came in, did a quick check, looked at her car seat, and away we went in the morning.

And then Lauren came the next day to our house. And that's what is so great about the midwife program is they come to your home for your postpartum journey. Until I think your fifth week maybe. I can't remember. And then you go to the office for one or two and then you're discharged. Yeah. Usually they come like at 24 hours and then I am pretty sure three days.

Like a three days. And then a week, two weeks. Yeah. And then I feel and more if like baby isn't doing good or you're not doing good. If you have like postpartum depression or anything like that, they come more. Yeah. Which is so amazing. Yeah. Postpartum care with a midwife is truly amazing.

And yeah, I wish everyone could have that experience. Like I cannot fathom as a first time mom packaging a baby up and going to a doctor's office where everybody is sick at a certain time. Like having to be there at a certain time. Yeah. That's just so stressful to me. And as a first time mom, I was like, where can I breastfeed?

And now was the second time mom. I'm like, I'll feed anywhere. It doesn't, I don't care. Yeah. But as a first time mom being like, I need my breastfeeding pillow, like I about privacy, like all those kind of things, like that's so much stress. Yeah. And you're recovering too, and you're expecting to haul you and your baby out and go to these appointments.

Yeah. It's truly and none of your clothes fit. Yeah. And it's what do you wear? You don't wanna wear your pajama, like Yeah. And that's a whole debacle. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And then, so how did breastfeeding go from there? After we saw Dr. Lisa Chu and she had her tongue and lip done at 10 days old, and after the procedure they bring baby back.

And as soon as I latched her, it was like zero pain. Oh, good. Like it was immediate amazingness. Yeah. And then I did some follow up care with Carly, the SLP, and got, some like really good stretches. And then that's how I met Dr. Alexa, the chiropractor, because Amelia's body needed a whole lot of body work done.

Yeah. From being so severely tongue and lip tied. So then that's how I met Alexa and that's how I became I basically feel like I need a parking spot at the village. But see, because I feel like I'm. There all the time. Yeah. I always joke that I'm like, where's my parking spot? 'cause I'm there all the time.

Yeah. Because that's where my village is, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. The Village has a number of care providers there. So they have massage chiropractor, SLP Sy psychologists, I believe. Occupational Dietician. Dietician, yeah. Naturopath. Yeah. They got it all. So that's how I met Dr. Alexa and that's how I got the body work and stuff done.

And then I got my body work and stuff after. Yeah. 'cause she was not icky, she was not anything like that. But she was definitely tight, had a head turn preference and that kinda stuff. So needed some unwinding. Yeah. Yeah. How was recovery after that? It was really good. I feel like I had really prepared like my mom and my mother-in-law had, had a full week's worth of meals basically frozen, or they would come by and drop them off.

So they kept us fed. Our friends, had a coffee train. We joked everybody would, somebody would text, Hey, can I bring you a coffee? And it's oh man, I've already had two today, so maybe, maybe something else. Yeah. Yeah. That first two weeks there's always not always, but those first two weeks, it's everybody's there, and then weeks 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, it it dwindles off. It slows down for sure. Yeah, it does. And that's where like your ride or die friends, that's where they stick it through with you. I had lots of good friends come and, bring a frozen meal or Hey, I'm making a lasagna, can I make one for you and drop it off? Those kind of things.

Which was super nice. 'cause honestly, feeding yourself after a baby, that's hero's work right there. Yeah. It's like the last thing you think of you're taking care of this baby and then you think, oh, it's always a second thought oh yeah, I guess I have to make myself a meal. Totally.

Yeah. And it's such a small gesture that someone can do that, like significantly helps. Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah. And the, not having to like, think. What am I making for separate today? Okay. Do I have this for spaghetti? Oh, no, I don't have that ingredient. What can I make? I have the, like that mental load, Yeah.

As a first time parent, like you, my brain didn't have enough space for that. Yeah. So it was really nice for somebody to just say, Hey, I'm making a lasagna and I'm bringing you one. That was, that is incredible. Yes. For sure. I love that you had that support. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Okay let's move into your next birth story.

Oh, Mr. Theodore. Yes. So pretty similar we got into Lauren and we knew we were never hiring that doula ever again. Yeah. So I immediate immediately started, sorry, I just wanna starting for a new one. I just wanna go back and so how old was your daughter at this point? When you guys. Conceived your second.

She was, oh, math is so hard at this time of night. She would've been 18, 16, or 17 months. Okay. Because she had her year birthday, they 12th and yeah, about 16 months, I would say when we conceived. Okay. Awesome. Again the second time. Yeah. Yeah. So as you were going in, thinking about your birth team, thankfully got the doula, or sorry, got the midwife again and then Yes.

Yeah. Tell us your doula story. I immediately started looking at other doulas and. You had moved away at that point. Yeah. And so I was researching and who, and, getting people's experiences and stuff, and I stumbled upon your postpartum best friend Victoria as a massage therapist because I was already getting very sore at that point, which I thought was so crazy that I had si pain basically from like week two of being pregnant to week 39.

Yeah. Stumbled upon her started seeing her as a massage therapist and she I just met her and I just knew, I was like, oh, you're gonna be my doula. I just knew, like she was lovely and she just radiates positivity and she's so supportive and she does. She like educates you, but never had, never made me feel like I needed to make a certain choice.

Yeah. But provided such great education to be like, here are two reasons why I would do this, or here's two reasons why I wouldn't do that, and like that kind of thing. And she was a massage therapist, which honestly, the laboring with a massage therapist. Ha. Oh, I bet. Yeah. Lovely. And honestly, it's if I was a first time mom, it sounds weird, but like when you get undressed for a massage and like she's in the room, like that comfort feeling that you're not naked in front of a stranger for the first time while you're laboring, if that makes sense.

Yeah, for sure. I do feel like there's an aspect of that. As a first time mom, I was like, that's actually like a psychological I thought about that. I was like, huh. Okay. No, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. So like we had this level of comfort going. So yeah, it was great. Like we would text if I had an issue, like I would shoot her a text.

She had so many solutions to me. She would send me voice notes if she was busy. She's Hey, I'm too busy to text you. But I just wanted to respond as fast as I could so attentive. Yeah, just did regular, chiro massage with Dr. Alexa and Victoria. Started like prepping the room and prepping Amelia like our daughter, like getting her little baby dolls and like strollers and, starting to talk about baby brothers coming and those kind of things and preparing her.

Yeah. How was your pregnancy with Theodore? It was. Really good, except I had a gallstone attack Oh no. At 27 weeks. And I would rather give birth to 10,018 pound babies than ever go through that pound pain ever again. Yeah. I actually thought I was dying. Yeah. I literally collapsed on my bathroom floor and was a full body sweat.

Couldn't even breathe or communicate with my husband what was happening because it was so painful I couldn't even take a breath. Yeah. To the point that he's do I call an ambulance? Do I call your midwife? What do I do? Yeah. Which is so crazy. 'cause we are, we're, we've made, we've been made to believe that birth is the most painful thing that you will ever do.

And there, there is so many other painful things that you can encounter in your life. And at least later that there is a purpose and yeah, why and what's happening, and honestly, I'm not saying my birth was painless, but I would not describe my birth as painful. So this pain, I was like knocked out basically, so Lauren was away, so it was our secondary midwife, Jocelyn, that had answered.

She basically, as soon as I told her what my symptoms were, it had happened as a crazy attack and then slowly dissipated, but was slowly coming back. Yeah. So over the phone basically, she basically was like, this sounds really like gallstones. And she's good news, you're super pregnant.

So we really can't do anything. Oh, awesome. So she's you can come to the hospital. And there's some like supportive things that we could do basically. So I go to the hospital, they gave me fluids and like supportive care that way. But we actually couldn't get an ultrasound that night.

Because it wasn't classified as emergent enough. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm on the labor and delivery blur. There's no fricking ultrasound machine. Yeah. And somebody could just, come on over. 'cause I'm like, is this a gallstone or is there something wrong with the baby? Yeah. Yeah I don't know.

Yeah. But basically I had to have to go through all night, like not getting that confirmation that the baby's okay. I can only imagine how stressful that was. Yeah. So that was not ideal. So we go home after a few hours my pain resolves and they gave me some fluids and honestly, as fast as it came on is as fast as it left.

Yeah. So it was just like, I was in pain and pain and pain, and then whoop gone. Interesting. And it was like they had described that if there was a stone stuck, it had self dislodged, but there can sometimes be like swelling that can still cause pain and things like that. I had met with one of the obs had come in and she basically just said they only ever will do like a surgical procedure if it's like infected life, all like life threatening, like that kind of thing.

Yeah. Otherwise it's just supportive care. So came home instantly was researching what I could take as a pregnant person and all that kind of stuff. Upped my game with my natural remedies and luckily didn't have another attack while I was pregnant. Which was great. Yeah. And then, yeah, then towards the end of my pregnancy, I really.

Got the, is this over yet? I call it like my last two weeks. Every little like twinge. I'm like, Ugh, is this slavery starting? Yeah. Every little, like everything. I'm like, this is it. This is it. And me and my good friend were pregnant at the same time. So we were both going through it.

So it was so nice having somebody to be like, we're gonna be pregnant. Pepper. Yeah. We, our older kids were actually in swimming lessons together and we had joked when we signed up for them, we're like, we might not be able to finish these swimming lessons 'cause we might have babies. Yeah. Oh, that's nice to have someone to go through it with.

It was so nice. Yeah. So then she had her baby and then a couple days later it was my turn. Awesome. And so this time around, was it same birth plan? Yes. Yeah. I was like, I want that copy paste. But then, I think you and I had that conversation where it's like, how do I deserve that birth a second time?

Yeah. Am I lucky enough to get that a second time? Am I gonna need an emergency c-section? Am I gonna have a shoulder dystocia? Yeah, something has to go wrong this time, right? It can't possibly be great twice. Yeah. Yeah. We, 'cause we often hear about that redemptive second birth, oh, first birth wasn't great, but better second.

And it's I had that great first birth and like, where do we go from here? Hopefully you hope that it's the same, but Yeah. It, yeah, there's that possibility that it might not be. Yeah. We did all the same stuff, like labor prep wise I. Stretches and dates and eating primrose oil.

We did, I did. I tried to do everything the same in that aspect. Really worked on mindset and those affirmations and talking myself and attacking those fears and stuff. All that stuff. And then almost identical. I worked in the morning and then had an early midwife appointment in the afternoon and Lauren was away.

So it was actually Jocelyn. Yeah. And I was 39 and three or four. Okay. So very similar. Yep. Yeah. And I was like, I want a cervical check. I wanna see where things are at. And she checked me and I was a six. Wow. And so up until this point you hadn't felt anything? Nothing. Wow. Not even a twinge of something.

Like maybe I could close my eyes and make believe something, but not even nothing. So that's why when people are like, oh my God, I'm at a six. And with, if they're in the hospital and they're at a six and they feel like it's gonna happen, it's like, how, who knows how long I was a six for?

Yeah. I could have been a six for two weeks. That baby truly comes when they're ready, yes, for sure. So I was like, okay. And she's do you wanna sweep? And I was like, bring it. Let's do it. So I got my sweep and then I came home and it, I don't know, it was early afternoon and I'm on my ball and I'm walking and I'm curb walking and I'm doing all the things 'cause I'm having a baby.

Yeah. And I felt nothing. Yeah. Because you think, oh, I'm six centimeters. This is labor. This should be labor. Yeah. What, where is it? When I was seven with Amelia, I was doubled over begging for fentanyl. So I was like, this is it. Like we got, and I'm bouncing and I'm walking and I'm hydrating and I'm drinking protein drinks and preparing and nothing.

So I felt so disheartened, right? I had no bloody show, I had nothing. So I was like, and wo not happening for me. Yeah. Oh my husband went for supper at his parents' house and I was like, I don't wanna go. Love my in-laws, but like I don't want my water to break on their floor.

Yeah, for sure. Love 'em. And I'm close with them, but I'm not that close with them. Yeah. So we're not doing that. So I stayed home and then I started getting a bit crampy around supper time and I was like, okay, this could be something. Yeah. And one of my fears the whole time was I don't want to be in labor like I was with Amelia screaming, not screaming, but like being loud and vocal because I was very vocal through my whole labor with Amelia.

I didn't wanna scare her. I didn't wanna run outta the house and like her not knowing what was happening. Yeah. So I feel like my body was like, oh, we got that covered for you because I laid on that couch until Amelia and my husband got home. I put her to bed and I had contractions while I was putting her to bed.

And I gave her a kiss goodnight. And my husband and I. Laid on the couch and Victoria said, put a couple pillows between your knee, turn on your favorite show. Baby chooses their due date. So I lay on that couch after I put her to bed. I put those pillows between my knees and I kid you not three minutes later, gush.

Wow. The biggest gush gosh, liters. It felt like. Yeah. And I stood up and I ran to the shower and my husband came and he was like, was that your water breaking? Just, when you're not pregnant, things can happen. Yeah, that's fair. So he is was that your water? And I was like, Uhhuh?

Yeah. Oh, this is happening. Okay, no reverse. I don't wanna do this. No. Same reaction yeah. I'm not ready. I was begging for the last two weeks, but no, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. So because I had such a fast labor with Amelia, Lauren had said that if we wanted a water birth to, call her as soon as my water broke, and, to we would wanna make our way to the hospital sooner this time, because second babies typically come faster.

Yeah. Especially when you're already six centimeters. Yeah. So she called us and basically said, pack your bags and come to the hospital. So I had texted Victoria and said, obviously your voodoo plan had worked really good because my water broke. And she said, oh, I'll meet you there. She said, are we going?

She said, should I come over or should I meet you there? And I said, we're gonna go to the hospital. And so we went to the hospital. I stepped up to the elevator, sat in the chair, checked in the elevator door opened, and she literally walked outta the elevator. Aw. I was like, I don't wanna know how many sound barriers you broke.

Speeding here. Really mad. So she was there and part of my birth plan, it sounds so silly, but I wanted my hair braided. Okay. Yeah. And she was like I had to get here before like labor picked up so I could braid your hair. And it felt like she wanted that for me because she knew of my experience with my other doula.

And she's oh I had to get here. She's she was like thinking I was crazy for thinking that she got here so fast. She was like, of course. Yeah. Of course I had to get here. So we went to triage and she braided my hair in between my contractions. My husband put the TENS machine on again.

We kinda had to argue with the nurses a little bit because Lauren technically didn't check me yet. So like the nurse was like is she in active labor? And I'm like, literally leaking amniotic fluid. Yeah. Over their floor. And then, then I had to do the walk across the whole hospital to the area that I could actually like my room.

So then I had to stop a couple times to the room, down the hall, as I'm sure many women have. Yeah. And then they filled up the pool. We did a couple spinning babies things in the room first. Do you remember what positions you did? I did the off the bed, the side laying, okay. Yeah. The inversions, which are just like hell.

Those inversions. Yeah. And then. I, Lauren offered me the water and I thought it was a little soon. Like I, 'cause I could still, like, when the contraction wasn't happening, I still felt in my own body. Like I wasn't gone yet. Yeah. So I felt like it was a little soon, but I was like, oh, maybe it'll help.

And I got in and I had a couple contractions in there and then I just was like this, that guy was like, I wanna get out. And then so we went to the toilet, which they call the dilation station. Yeah. And I had a couple really good contractions there. Things really picked up there. Oh, and I forgot to say too, Victoria gave me the wooden comb in my hand and that was like, so amazing.

Yeah. Loved it. So I held that sucker from the moment I saw her, she handed it to me and I had that thing in my hand until my baby was earth side. Yeah. Yeah. So for those you don't know, so yeah, you hold a comb in your hand and you squeeze it and it really just helps as a distraction, like something to focus on.

And there is like a whole Yeah connection between, like you, you put the pain like a different stimulus somewhere else, so then you, it takes away from the contractions. Yeah. And it worked. I had that thing in my hand the whole time. Did not let it go. Yeah. Did a bunch of contractions on the toilet, and then just suddenly I was like, stood up and went right to the pool.

I just, it was like a flip of a switch in my brain that I was like, Nope, it's time to go. Yeah. And I stood up and I went to the pool and I had three, maybe four contractions in the pool. And then his head came out and again, Lauren was like, reach down. Baby's here. I reached down and I felt him, and it was like, oh my God.

Like he's almost here. Oh my God. Aw. And then his body came out and his cord was around his neck three times. So I was trying to fish his cord off his neck. 'cause Amelia's cord was really short. And his was too. Yeah. So Lauren and I had talked about how you don't wanna bring baby up super fast with the short cord 'cause you don't wanna rip it.

Yeah. So I was trying to get his cord off and they're so slippery. Yeah. So I'm fumbling with that and I get his cord off and I bring him up to my chest and I sit down and it's just is like he's here. Aw. And it's amazing. And it's the same environment. It's dark. It's only my doula. My husband Lauren and one nurse in the room, it's dark.

My battery powered candles are there and it's like quiet and dark and like amazing. And everyone's quiet. That's was my biggest thing is 'cause I had him at 1203 and my husband started joking at 1158. Oh, is it gonna be an April 2nd or an April 3rd baby? And in between contractions, I had to give him a good old look in his eyes and be like, stop talking about the time.

Yeah. Stop it and then silence. He knew to shut up at that point. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, at 1203 he greeted us and this time my placenta, we had delayed cord clamping again and my placenta came out good this time. Except post baby this time was a way different experience in a worse way.

Okay. I retrospectively now think I had a piece of retained placenta. Yeah. But like my placenta was fully intact. Like when, like it was checked. Yeah. So I don't know if it was just very tiny. I don't know. But I remember bleeding a lot and being like, this is more than I remember. Yeah, I had worse contractions post baby than during baby.

Okay, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. So definitely something the nurse kept being like, like you actually, it is normal for you to have contractions after a second baby. 'cause your body really knows what it's doing this time. And those contractions are, 'cause your body knows what it's doing. And I remember being like, I don't know about that.

I don't know about that. Yeah. This is, this feels different. This feels not like that. This it shouldn't be more than labor pain. Oh wait, yeah. If a labor pain was a seven, this is like a 52. Yeah. So much so that we did oral vitamin K with both of our babies and being. Not in the right head, head space.

We had forgot it at home. Okay. So after we had baby, my husband had went home to get it. And so it was Victoria and I and it, my labor pain, like the, those contractions were so bad. I was like, Victoria, you have to take this baby 'cause I have to hold this bed. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's how bad they were because like, I couldn't even like breathe.

I couldn't talk, I couldn't breathe. And then my nurse was like, do you want one Tylenol? And I remember being like, this fucking big has an arsenal of medication. Yeah. She's offering me one Tylenol. Yeah, one Tylenol. That'll help. Whoa. Because yeah, we did all of like our assessment and everything like that, and.

Like Lauren had already left at this point 'cause that's how long it had been. Oh, okay. Yeah. Like all our checks were done, everything was good. She asked the time we wanted to go home. We again said that 10:00 AM and she was gone. Everything was normal. Yeah. And then I remember looking at the blood and being like, this is a lot of blood.

And then we, I had bought this pair of pajamas and it hung in my closet and I was like, those are the pajamas I'm wearing after I have my post baby shower. Yeah. Like they were my gold pajamas. They were a visual thing. And I remember after going through that being like, I need to get to the shower 'cause I wanna wear these goddamn pajamas.

Yeah. I worked so hard, this is the sign that it's, that all my work is done. Yeah. So I remember bleeding a lot. To the point where I stood up to go to the shower and it had gushed so much that my nurse had to hold like one of those pee pads under me. Yeah. And we went to the shower and I had saturated it by the time we'd went to the shower.

Wow. And I got so lightheaded. Yeah. That I was like, Ooh, I don't feel good. So she put me on the toilet and she's do you not feel good? And I'm like, I'm really lightheaded. And she's okay, let's go back to the bed. So then we went back to the bed and I looked of the trail that I had left and it was like a full blood trail.

And I remember being like, that's a lot of blood. Yeah. This is a red flag. Yeah. I'm like, this is a lot of blood. And I looked at her and she's yeah, that's a lot of bleeding. And I remember just waiting for her to keep talking. You know what I mean? Yeah. What are we gonna do about this?

Yeah. She just was like, that's a lot of blood. And I'm like, and yeah. And there was like clots on the floor and she never picked any of my clots up to weigh them or go through them. Yeah. And I sat back on bed, on the bed and she was like, oh, I'll get you a ginger ale. So they brought me in like some sugar at that point.

And I drank it. I felt a little bit better, and then I was like, okay, let's go back to the shower. And like this, like my husband was back at this point, and like we had wrapped everything up with Victoria and we were like, we're good. Everything's awesome. Like head home, like she has kids too.

So I was like, we're good. Like we're in good hands. My hair is braided. I look awesome. Amazing. You can go. So we had said goodbye to her. Lauren had left and so it was just this nurse. Yeah, this nurse. Which honestly. She didn't like the type of birth that I had, and she made it very obvious. Oh, interesting.

That she didn't enjoy the type of birth I was having. I felt like she was very judgmental about what I was doing and like almost scoffed at a natural birth. Yeah. And like she was paying to be there. I remember looking at her at one point and I felt like she had somewhere better to be. Yeah.

That was the look on her face. Yeah. So yeah, so I, after I had my little ginger ale, I was like, okay I'm ready to go back and again, puppy pee pad went to the shower and I had saturated it again. And she took it away and I turned on the shower and then like a golf ball size clot like hit my foot.

Oh, wow. And I remember looking at it and looking at her and she's that's a pretty big clot. And me being like, Uhhuh, oh my God. And her being like enjoy your shower. Make sure it's not too hot. You might pass out. And then she closed the door. Wow. And I remember being like, okay, I just need to get these fricking pajamas on.

Yeah. Yeah. That's all I need. So I just used the wand of the shower because I was like, if it's too hot, I'm gonna pass out. Yeah. So I just quickly w washed my whole body. And then when she heard the water come off, she came back in and she had to hold one of those pee pads against me so that I could get dressed because the, it was coming down my legs so fast that I couldn't get my little diaper on.

And then she helped me back into the bed. And I remember every time I like sat or moved, like it would gush. Yeah. And I remember being like, I. I changed my mind and I want Pitocin. And she looked at me and she said, oh, it's way too long for Pitocin. You can't have that anymore. And now, retrospectively, yeah.

I'm like, they give Pitocin to to men. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's not for just laboring women. Like you could, so her saying that it's, it was too long. And that was the reason I couldn't have it. That's not true. Yeah, it's not. And I remember being like, oh, weird. That's crazy. Huh, okay.

And I was like, I just feel like I'm bleeding a lot. And she goes, yeah, you are. I cannot believe that nothing was done about that. I cannot believe it. And I'm like, what? What? So yeah, we go through and then she offers me my this time. What is it they give you? Like an Aleve, like an Naproxen.

Oh yeah. Do you want your one naproxin? And I was like, I don't know. It's a isn't naproxen a blood thinner? I I feel like you're trying to kill me at this point. Yeah. And so yeah, she leaves and I remember saying to my husband, I'm like, I feel like I'm bleeding a lot. And he is it's more than I remember with Amelia.

So we also went through the night, but also you don't know, like to be like, yeah, you expect the nurse to do her job. Yeah. It was stressful. Yeah, I bet. So we had went through the nights or whatever and then in the morning we obviously had a different nurse and she did like my checks before we were going, and I remember her looking at my pad and being like, huh, that's still a lot of blood.

Okay. Have a nice day, guys. Oh my gosh. Bye. I was like, oh man, why do people keep saying this? Yeah. What? So we go home or Amelia comes to the hospital Aw. Meets her brother. We do the whole thing. It was amazing. We pick up breakfast to bring back to our house and we eat as a family.

It was great. Aw. It was lovely. Can I ask how how was breastfeeding right after? Oh, was, he was severely tongue tied to the point where like he attached almost at the top of his tongue. Oh, okay. Wow. So as soon as he was born and I looked in his mouth, I was like, oh, this is gonna be really fun. Yeah.

You're like, oh, great. I've done this before. But to be honest, it actually wasn't as painful as it was with Amelia. Okay. Who had the huge lip. Yeah. But again, we went to Dr. Chu, the dentist, and she was like, I don't know how you were feeding him. Yeah. Oh man. But yeah, he got done at four days, so it wasn't as bad as we didn't have to wait as long.

Yeah. But yeah we came home, we had our breakfast. I put Amelia down for a nap, was just about to hop in the shower. And I sat on the toilet. I felt like a gush, and I was like, whoof. And then I sat on the toilet and I felt another big gush. And I looked between my legs and the water was like bright red.

And I was like, oh. And then I looked in my pad and there was probably two fist sized cloths in there. Wow. And I was like, okay, we need to call an adult at this point. Yeah. Really? And so I called the midwife line and I was like, it because the timing and my birth Lauren was still off, so it went to Jocelyn.

Yep. And Jocelyn's okay like how big are the clocks? And I was like, girl, we live in 20, 25. Let me send you a picture. Yeah. And I sent her a picture and she went, Alyssa, you need to come back to the hospital right now. Yeah. And the way she said it, I was like, but they're not that big. I'm okay. Yeah. Huh. She's you need to just come now. Yeah. She said, if you have to bring your daughter but you have to come back to the hospital right now. And I remember being like, holy fuck. Yeah. So I called my mom and it was like fate. Like my mom was driving home from work and that's my house is like on the way.

So she just came, we just left and we went straight to the hospital with Theodore. Yeah. And I had to have an infusion of TXA. Okay. Yeah. There, they were talking about me potentially needing a sweep or all those kind of things, but luckily the TXA had completely stopped my bleeding.

Okay. So whether, yeah. So you should have never been sent home? No. Like that? Yeah. No. I should not have been. Yeah. The, whether the clots fell out in the toilet or in those fist sizes, whether maybe the placenta came out Yeah. Or it was a TXA we'll never know. Yeah. But my bleeding had stopped and thankfully didn't need any interventions.

'cause honestly, when they were talking about doing like a vaginal exam I was just like, you're gonna have to knock me out for that. Yeah, I don't, that's the last thing I want right now. Holy man. Yeah. The thought of anything happening down there absolutely not. It would make my body just I know.

And I'm like, cringe. I am very, I had no tearing or stitches with either baby. Yeah. And theater was eight pounds, 14 ounces. Like he was a large baby and he had a large head so big that they had to measure twice because they couldn't believe how big it was. And I had no tearing, no stitches. And that's still the idea of them potentially doing a vaginal exam.

I was like, you're joking, right? Yeah. That's not what I want right now. Jocelyn documented as much as she could about what had happened the last like overnight and stuff. Yeah. And then they looked at my birth record and they went, you lost a lot of blood last night. And I was like, oh. And she said, yeah, like out of all the things that they weighed.

And I was like, but she wasn't measuring anything that hit the floor or any of the blood clots. And the nurse that was in the room, and Jocelyn, their heads like. Like to me. Yeah. They were like, what? Yeah. And I was like, nothing that hit the floor was measured. Like she didn't pick up any of my clots. And the nurse went, you're joking me.

Yeah. And I, that's when I realized that she was wrong. Yeah. Then I was like, oh, and she documented as much as she could. Then I got discharged and went home. Lauren had called me when she found out what had happened, and she's you could've called me, I would've come give you the Pitocin, like blah, blah, blah.

But like, when you're in that mindset and like when the nurse is telling you something, like you expect that's correct information. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there was that wasn't ideal. That wasn't great to have to take your couple hour old baby back to the hospital. Yeah, for sure.

But yeah, thankful that's all I needed. It worked out in the end, yeah. But, and then, yeah. How has postpartum been so far? Zero to one. Easy peasy. But I think it's all retrospective too, because in the moment, zero to one wasn't easy. Yeah. But when I look back and I'm like, there's two of us, and we killed it and we did a great job and blah, blah, blah.

One to two has been a swift upright, hard. It's very hard. Yeah. One to two is hard because we have a busy 2-year-old. Theodore was pretty colicky. He was a hold me baby from the get-go. That makes it so hard when you have a toddler. It does. Yeah. And it's she's mommy, come play with me.

And it's if I put this baby down, he's gonna be screaming. Yeah. And trying to stand up holding a baby while you're recovering and yeah. That it's so hard. That was so hard those first couple of weeks. Yeah. What did you, and again, with the feeding yourself, Yeah. Me and my husband, we could crush a bag of chips when it was just the two of us.

But now we have a toddler, right? Yeah. And we have to actually feed her food. Yeah. So what did you find helped the most? With Yeah. Just adjusting to two. So splitting time Yeah. Was hard. And that theater's life is just gonna look different than Amelia's. Amelia had both of her parents, like my husband and I do every bath together unless somebody's out of town or, yeah.

Somewhere that night. But we do every bath together. We would, one would lotion, one would read a book. We would both sit with her and put her to bed together. And we did everything together with her and. That just can't always happen now with with a second we kinda have to divide and conquer sometimes.

Yeah. And that it's the best way to do it because then everything gets done and then you maybe even have a little bit of time to, like, when my husband and I are doing like the nighttime routine, it's like he takes one, I take the other and then yeah. It's just so much easier than trying to do everything totally together and if you try to do them together, one's screaming and then Yeah.

It just. It's, so it's been a little bit of a, an adjustment like that. But with both babies we did the thousand hours outside challenge where you spend a thousand hours outside in their first year. Yeah. Amazing. So Theodore is ahead of schedule, so that's nice because, when you have a toddler, the best thing you can do is get them outside.

Yeah. So Theodore is actually ahead of where Amelia was at this point. So we're on track to complete it with Amelia, we were about 200 hours short. Wow. But very close. That's amazing. Yeah, it was. That's awesome. With both kids we off the grid camped for 12 days. Okay. When Amelia was, three months old. Yeah. We took, we went off the grid camping in the mountains with our, we have a truck trailer. So we did that with her and we did the same thing with Theodore. So it was a family of four. We did a two weeks up in the mountains, off the grid, no power, no cell service. We took our little four month old baby and our toddler and our dog, and away we went.

Yeah. Awesome. You guys are very adventurous. Yes. Yeah. Ah, wow. Alyssa, thank you so much for coming on to share your story. I love it. They, yeah, I love talking birth. Yes. I love it too. But yeah, I truly love to see the transformation you've had from Yeah. Finding out you're pregnant with your first feeling, so scared, feeling like you knew nothing.

And now to your second and truly taking charge of your birth and having two amazing birth experiences. It's so incredible to hear. Thanks. Yeah. It's, they've got a wild ride. Yeah. And yeah. Final takeaways is there are amazing doulas out there and the best thing that you can do is interview a few, find the one that's the right fit for you.

Ask around, look at reviews, do all that you can to, and you may have a negative experience with one, but you can have a positive experience with another. Totally. And honestly, even with the experience I had, like my sister-in-law is expecting, and even with the experience I had, I, that was like the first thing I told her.

I was like, you need a doula. Yeah. I think it's so important to have that person. And we also had a midwife, so it's not even we had an OB or something like that. Like I think it's just so valuable to have that person Yeah. With you. Yeah, it was incredible. Yeah. I agree. Okay. Final two questions.

What is a piece of advice you would give to someone heading toward their first birth? Probably, no one's coming to save you, right? Like you are responsible for you and you need to educate yourself. Yeah. Because not all providers give you true informed consent. Informed consent means that you're told what happens if you do, and what happens if you don't and you're provided another option to just tell somebody you need an induction 'cause you're 40 weeks.

That's not informed consent. Yeah. So I think that's super important, that you need to be armed with that knowledge because ultimately nobody cares as much about you and your birth is you do. Yeah. You, your baby and your birth. Yeah. No one cares more than you. Absolutely. And then what is the, what surprised you the most about postpartum?

You don't need half. The crap you get at your baby shower. Yeah. Stop doing the baby shower and do a postpartum meal train and a house cleaning thing. Yep. Honestly, I, for our second shower, we just did frozen meals and gift cards to our favorite house cleaner. And every time I got my house cleaned, it was like the most amazing experience ever.

Yeah. It was so great. It was so valuable to me. Like the meals, the frozen meals, and some people wrote like cute little notes on top of it and oh I don't know, like when you're gonna eat this, but so it was so fun. And having a kid and a, or having a toddler, a baby.

Like how do you feed yourself? Yeah. So being able to go to your freezer, pull something out that was so valuable in those early days. Yeah. And more so than an amazing, cute outfit. You know what I mean? Yes. Yes. Like I know everyone gets so excited to buy. Yeah. The cute things and the stuff. But truly the most important thing is our wellbeing postpartum and having those meals ly and like really.

It's also fun for us to buy all the fun and cute stuff It is. And so why can't we take care of families in other ways? Yeah. We gotta take care of mom at those showers, honestly. Yeah. We have to take care of mom. That is more important than, the cute little blanket and the adorable little outfit, yeah. It goes, yeah. A meal goes so much farther than, than a blanket. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. That's such good advice. Okay. Yes, Alyssa, thanks again for coming on. Thanks for having me.