Unraveling our Emotional Armor: Insights into Repression (and Resistance)

Have you ever caught yourself overeating or talking excessively to keep uncomfortable feelings at bay? What if there's a way to confront these defense mechanisms head on and reclaim your psychological freedom? Let's traverse the labyrinth of the mind together in this episode where Dr. Shemena takes you through the fascinating concepts of repression and resistance. We'll decode these defenses, from excessive talking to overeating, and explore how they can act as barriers to our self-awareness, growth, and understanding.

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Transcript

Dr. Shemena 0:05

This is the Dark Matters podcast with Dr . Shemena . I'm Dr . Shemena , a licensed therapist that underwent my own transformation , and I'm here to share my insights and revelations . This is a podcast that goes well beyond the surface of everyday psychology to help you become conscious and aware . It's about understanding and it's about empowerment so that you can take control of your life in this challenging world . So what do you say ? Let's dive in . Hi , this is Dr . Shamena , your host of Dark Matters . Thanks for tuning in .

Dr. Shemena 0:44

Today we're going to be talking about repression , which is also connected to resistance , but before I dive into the topic for today's topic , I just want to thank all the individuals who subscribe and also who listen to the episodes . I've gotten feedback that it's been insightful for them , so I really appreciate it . It just kind of gives me a nice warm glow that carries me throughout the week and helps me to continue to record these episodes for you . So I just want to say thank you . Your support is really greatly appreciated . So let's dive in . Dive into the topic of repression and resistance . So I just wanted to say , although this topic in this episode does come late in all the discussions that I've had thus far , I really think , as I'm thinking out loud , this should have probably been one of the first podcast episodes that I recorded , even before anxiety , because in a way , it is one of the most important defense mechanisms that many issues such as anxiety and depression spring from , and that is repression . So I'll give you a little bit of an example of what repression is . So when you're in denial , you repress the awareness of an unwelcome truth . When you idealize someone , you repress those perceptions that would undermine the idealization and also , like if you're homophobic , you would repress your attraction and physical desire . So it's worth noting that in each of these examples , it's actually the awareness of some aspect of your psyche that is repressed . It's like taking a big pillow and stuffing it into a small jar . That is really repression .

Dr. Shemena 2:57

Freud , whom I've read a lot of readings from and I know some of you may not be a fan , but there's some of his readings that I find actually quite insightful . But Freud originally discussed repression as it related to trauma , but later he did expand his conception of repression as it pertains to the instinctual drives of all kinds , not necessarily just traumatic memories , and I think Freud spoke very simply and elegantly about repression . His definition was that repression is . The essence of repressing lies simply in turning something away . So I'll repeat that again because I probably didn't come across well the essence of repression lies simply in turning something away and keeping it a distance from the conscious mind . Not something could be an unacceptable emotion , either about someone else or even yourself . You might be a perception of reality you'd rather not even acknowledge .

Dr. Shemena 4:06

There's also another psychologist , Donald Meltzer , and his formulation of the idea of repression , which I also like , is that all defenses , including repression , are essentially lies . We tell ourselves to avoid some kind of pain . So when we repress something , we keep it at a distance from our consciousness . It's because we're trying to avoid pain of one kind or another , and I do think that that's an idea that everyone can probably understand . So keep in mind that repression isn't something that just happens once , once over the course of your life . It is something that you continuously do over the course of a lifetime . It's a process that requires a continual expenditure of energy , so much psychic energy , to keep the repressed from returning to the sense of consciousness . So it's like the idea of I'm trying to keep something repressed . You develop all of these strategies over the course of your life , growing up from childhood to become an adult . These strategies are designed to keep the repressed feelings from breaking free of this psychological dungeon .

Dr. Shemena 5:25

I see this with clients with eating disorders . So clients with eating disorders use binge eating in this kind of fashion . So whenever a repressed emotion threatens to come up or they face a new or threatening experience , they overeat in order to ward off their feelings . And I would even expand that to say that not just with binge eating but individuals who actually overeat as well , it's a cycle of punishment and reward where you keep everything in place . You could think of this defense in other ways , such as an analgesic , for example , that just relieves you of some kind of pain , or a shoving the feelings back down along with the food . In some way it offers some relief from the suffering that you feel of trying to avoid the pain . So when we repress something which is keeping the feeling at a distance from being conscious , you're just trying to avoid the pain .

Dr. Shemena 6:28

And also , along with this defense of repression , through my clinical experience , there comes resistance . Resistance is that part of you that tries to fight the awareness of the pain , and it's a strong drive that it's almost like a strong drive towards just trying to have the good feelings only , like I'm just trying to be happy , I'm just trying to think that I did a great job and I don't want to think of areas that I may have messed up or would have . You , it's the feelings of insecurity , self-loathing , hate , jealousy , anger , envy , doubt , self-deprecating feelings that become the buzz killers . Like I just want to feel only the good feelings . So when these unsavory feelings come knocking at your door , you do everything to oppose bringing them to light . It's like the resistance acts like an executive assistant to a powerful CEO that screens calls and visitors so that the CEO doesn't have to be even bothered . And a really good assistant does this without even the boss even being aware of it .

Dr. Shemena 7:39

So I'll give you another example of another effective way that individuals hide from uncomfortable truths , and that's through another defense , which is intellectualization . Now , this is a more common feeling . A lot of people intellectualize things . You don't really think about it in this way , in a psychological way , but using intellect to ward off uncomfortable feelings is pretty common and in the milieu of our world we all know someone who is emotionally cut off from their feelings . So these people are like cool , cool cucumbers or cool customers , as I like to call them . So instead of acknowledging their feelings , they go upstairs and then they think them away . Emotions have proven to be too disappointing in their life and hurtful , so they just shut it down . I'll give you another defense in how it shows up , another defense which is excessive talking .

Dr. Shemena 8:42

Excessive talking often has the desired effect of preventing unwanted feelings from becoming conscious , and I'm sure you've met someone who you just can't keep quiet . Words just flow out of their mouth like an act of volcano . This is the enemy . It's feared and anxiety provoking because it allows the listener to have a chance to think and witness the other person . Now , normally you would think that that's a good thing . But if this person fears that if the listener has a chance to think , they will realize their flaws and insecurities , then the talker will marshal all of their psychological resources to form a psychological barricade between oneself and the other . But also , as I'm talking about this , even the excessive talking serves as a defense for the person who's talking . They also try and keep their unwanted feelings from coming up . So if I talk , talk , talk , talk , talk , I'm also , in essence , talking my feelings away . Whatever I'm feeling deep down , whether if it's insecurity or my fears or anxieties , I just talk them away . I just keep keep talking . So these defenses and the difficulty of becoming conscious of what they're trying to defend only hinders you and your ability to evolve and grow .

Dr. Shemena 10:19

So it's really important to begin to develop the ability to observe yourself when uncomfortable feelings just wash over you , like when you feel anxiety well up inside of you . Pay attention to it and monitor how it impacts your behavior . Like that is the goal . The goal is being able to be aware with a capital A , like the goal of your psychologist , to allow your psyche to exist along with these uncomfortable feelings . It's an important process for all of us in integration incorporating anxiety into your conscious sense of self . Like without it , your anxiety just splits off and you're not aware of yourself and it governs the outcome of your behavior . Like you'll find yourself actually doing things only to have to walk back from it . It can lead you to a place of dysfunction the thoughts and the feelings and the behaviors . But if you can face these uncomfortable truths , feelings , instead of hiding them , then you will find that accepting these feelings will lead to a place of peace and actually psychological freedom .

Dr. Shemena 11:40

Thank you for listening and tuning in . Take care and be well . I hope you enjoyed this episode of Dark Matters with Dr . Shemena . Thank you for listening in . You can find me at shemenajohnson . com . All the links of where you can find me are in the show summary . Come back often and make sure you subscribe , rate, and review , because I'd love to hear your comments and remember either you deal with your feelings or they deal with you . See you guys soon .