Hello and welcome to the podcast. In this episode, I'm sharing 5 things that have been game-changers in my life recently! Listen in as I talk practical strategies from meal planning, and therapy support, to even mindset shifts that can help you reclaim your peace during this busy period. Lastly, I share five transformative tips that have been my compass during this journey and invite you to share your own experiences. You're not alone on this journey, and together, we can navigate this terrain.
Try Hungry Root for Yourself! ($50 off with this link)
Other Mentions:
The Lazy Genius Podcast
We Are Brave Together
Naples/Long Beach Retreat
Connect with Kara, host of The Special Needs Mom Podcast:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespecialneedsmompodcast/
Website: https://www.kararyska.com/
Coaching Opportunities
Pathway to Peace {Group Coaching Program}: Schedule a Consult or Contact Me
Join The Special Needs Mom Podcast Community FaceBook Group!! Click here to Request to Join
Hello and welcome to the podcast. In this episode, I'm sharing 5 things that have been game-changers in my life recently! Listen in as I talk practical strategies from meal planning, and therapy support, to even mindset shifts that can help you reclaim your peace during this busy period. Lastly, I share five transformative tips that have been my compass during this journey and invite you to share your own experiences. You're not alone on this journey, and together, we can navigate this terrain.
Try Hungry Root for Yourself! ($50 off with this link)
Other Mentions:
The Lazy Genius Podcast
We Are Brave Together
Naples/Long Beach Retreat
Connect with Kara, host of The Special Needs Mom Podcast:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespecialneedsmompodcast/
Website: https://www.kararyska.com/
Coaching Opportunities
Pathway to Peace {Group Coaching Program}: Schedule a Consult or Contact Me
Join The Special Needs Mom Podcast Community FaceBook Group!! Click here to Request to Join
Hi, I'm Cara, life coach, wife and mom to four incredible and unique children. It wasn't all that long ago that my son received a diagnosis that had my world come crashing down. I lacked the ability to see past the circumstances, which felt impossible, and the dreams I once had for my life and family felt destroyed. This forward has many years of surviving and not at all thriving, and you'll see a mom who trusts that she can handle anything that comes her way and has access to the power and confidence that once felt so lacking. I created this special needs mom podcast to create connection and community with moms who find themselves feeling trapped and with no one who really understands. My intention is to spark the flare of possibility in your own life and rekindle your ability to dream. This isn't a podcast about your special needs child. This is a podcast about you. If you are a mom who feels anxious, alone or stuck, then you are in the right place. Welcome, hello and welcome to the special needs mom podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm excited for this episode. I feel like it's very different from episodes I normally do. It's going to be simple, because you know what it's December 13th. We're leaving it all on the courts here, ladies, and so I thought this would be a fun but useful episode that will kind of help us wrap up the new year, hopefully smiling or something of that sort, as we start. I thought I'd give a little bit of a personal update, because I try to do that every now and then, but because episodes come out out of order from when I record and in an ideal world I'm recording way ahead of time, it doesn't always kind of work to put a personal update in, but I'm recording this about a week before it comes out, and so I thought it would work really well.
Speaker 1:The first thing is that we're celebrating and yes, I mean celebrating a new diagnosis, and it's interesting because, you know, normally we don't celebrate diagnosis, so they come with. You know, a lot comes with a lot. I don't have to explain this to y'all. You know exactly what I mean. But we actually were advocating for this particular diagnosis and I'm not going to share what it is just for, you know, my son's personal privacy but with this diagnosis, why we were advocating for it was for access to support. It's interesting because, as we were working with the providers, one of them said you know, levi doesn't really fit any box, and I was like you know what? There's nothing that describes Levi better than he doesn't fit any box, which is kind of funny because like he fits the box, that he doesn't fit the box we need to have. That box Does not fit the box, and I'm sure many of you have children that don't fit the box. I mean, I guess you know these boxes are all imperfect because we're trying to categorize human beings and, as you know, it's not easy to do.
Speaker 1:But I got this actually this week on Monday and, oh my gosh, I knew it was a possibility, but I was really holding out hope because sometimes, even though we want something, we don't get it. So it felt so good, so so good to have this particular door opened and look forward to the next doors that it will open. And in general, I mean I know I've mentioned it here and there, but this has been a long, hard season. It's interesting because, for those of you that have been around well, actually I know many of you are new this year and so I don't always go back and kind of explain the history of the Wends and the House and how I landed as a special needs mom, but it was about, let's see, two years ago I think that's right two and a half years ago that Levi was diagnosed with a recurrence of his brain tumor. So we went through major brain surgery. That was not easy and complicated. We went through another brain surgery and then we went through six weeks of proton beam radiation. So one would say that was a hard season and it was.
Speaker 1:And that's where I think I've been perhaps a little caught off guard, or maybe even I don't even know the word but I'm not super happy that we're still in a long season. I think I would have expected to be in a different trajectory at this point and we're not. We're actually still in a decline. And as I relate to his well being and how he is doing, to watch your child, oh, I feel the emotion strong. To watch your child struggle and to not be able to do anything about it, it's hard right. I think my heart is just hurting a lot because my son's hurting a lot, and it's something that I do still have hope that we will not always be in this season. And then, as we know seasons, we just don't know how long they last. So, yes, I still have a ton that I'm grateful for and I still work and in that practice of gratitude.
Speaker 1:And I think part of that if you go back and listen to the episode a couple weeks ago is also acknowledging the hard, because it also kind of helps us really recognize the good. So that's where we're at in terms of this and, of course, if you want specific details, I will share those, but not here, I'll share them on a one, on one kind of level. You know, that kind of leads in to another thing I wanted to share and that is acceptance. I talk a lot about acceptance. I'm a preacher, if you will, of acceptance and in this season it's really hard. I'm having a really hard time accepting, and so we call this resistance.
Speaker 1:And the thing I want to share is because we can intellectually know a lot and that can be helpful, but it's really important to recognize that even though we can intellectually understand and we could even maybe write a book on something, it doesn't mean that when we go to practice it it's going to look perfect. And so, yes, I am like a big advocate for acceptance, and yet sometimes it's on an eating tidy bow on how it looks out there in the wild, and so the call is to be gentle, and I say this because I am having to remind myself a lot to be gentle, because my personality type is so, if you all know the Enneagram, I'm an Enneagram 3. And the name for that is the achiever. So I like to I don't know, I mean, it sounds a little bit more aggressive than I feel to go out there and conquer, like to see a problem, and to overcome. That's where I feel most alive. And so in this place where I'm like, oh wait, I cannot think or work myself out of this resistance, it starts to feel a little sticky. So, yes, I'm getting a lot of support and I just I wanted to share that transparently because I think it's important to kind of not. You know, we all talk about authenticity, but we all still choose what we're going to share and what we're not. So it's kind of tricky. You know, especially in social media, as authentic as we want to be, we are still filtering out what we show. So I did want to share that with you all.
Speaker 1:And the last thing before we get into the episode episode is I wanted to announce that I'm going to be the speaker, the main speaker, at a retreat that is being hosted by. We Are Brave Together. Now, many of you have heard of this organization because I do try to promote it here regularly, but if you haven't, we Are Brave. Together is an organization, a nonprofit organization that is free to join, so why wouldn't you? And their whole mission is to support women of children that have any type of disability big, small, ginormous, it doesn't matter, everybody is welcome. It's just an amazing community. So I'm a fan, as you can tell, and I get the privilege of being their speaker at the upcoming retreat that is currently open for enrollment. So when you hear this episode, that is your cue to be like ooh, act now. Because these retreats typically do sell out and I want you to be there, because how cool would it be to meet in person.
Speaker 1:So this is being hosted in Naples, california, which is in the Long Beach area, so you'll want to fly into LAX. It's January 12th, 13th, 14th, so that's a Friday, saturday and Sunday. And here's the thing, because a lot of you are like oh, retreat man, like I'm just, I, just I'm spending all my money on Christmas, like I'm tapped out. These are so affordable. It's actually kind of mind boggling on how supplemented this is. So for $300, you get everything. You get all your food, all your lodging, all the love all weekend and Laura, who's going to be the coordinator, who's kind of the one that's doing everything else besides speaking, really all the work. Her gift is in service and she just makes you feel like a queen. And so even if I wasn't speaking, I'd say it's worth it to go just to be taken care of by Laura. So I will put the link to sign up or even to we Are Brave. So two links One for we Are Brave. It's an easy sign up, it's on the website. I actually knew this year will be leading a support group, or I think they call them connection circles here in San Diego. So if you're local, you're invited. And then I will also be including the link to register for the retreat. Okay, and of course, if any questions, just reach out. I'm just a few clicks away Now into the episode.
Speaker 1:I am 100% stealing this from a different podcast, but I guess that's the most like flattering. You know it's like a compliment, right, but I am giving credit. So the lazy genius her name is Kendra Adachi. She has a podcast and it's really great, so you all can check it out, and she does these episodes every now and then I don't really know the frequency, and I think she calls them what's saving my life right now? And as I was thinking about this episode before I decided on this topic, I was like I want to make it kind of light, but I don't want to make it like purposeless. You know, I'm all about purpose and intention, and so the thought came into my mind that there's actually some things that are going really really well, and so I thought I would share what's really working in my life. Okay, so here they are.
Speaker 1:So the first one, and the one that has like been the biggest game changer, is having an advocate. I might be late to this party, I probably am, and I actually don't even know exactly why I hesitated so long. I mean, I can think of many dollars per hour types of hesitations, but I don't think that's really what stopped me from finding an advocate earlier on. So we, I would say, had a really hard IEP team last year Some amazing people, some people that just weren't quite the right fit for our team and we just didn't feel supported by so ultimately going into high school. We're like okay, like now we need to really be supported, because that was so stressful, and over the summer I talked to a handful, I interviewed them and I ultimately hired an advocate.
Speaker 1:She is incredible and having that level of support in the IEP has just been a game changer. My husband is there and he's super supportive. He's actually a school admin so he sits in IEPs most every day. But I don't know, I guess I talk more, I'm more vocal and so I feel like generally, I am leading the process and that can be a lot of weight on my shoulders, like a lot, especially because, even though I've learned a lot along the way, I'm not an IEP expert nor do I really want to be like. It is just, you know, there's some areas where you're really driven to know more, to learn more, really interest you. Ieps are not one of those things for me. I don't enjoy them and the IEP paperwork is actually very overwhelming to me, so not my favorite thing ever, and that's why having an advocate has been incredible.
Speaker 1:The other thing that we did for our IEP team is that we actually brought my son's counselor therapist into the meetings, so we pay two people to be at the meetings for us. They are getting kind of expensive but so valuable, like. So we just had our trennial. And this is what's interesting is the team actually proposed more support than I would have even dreamed to ask of. I mean, maybe I might advocate would ask for it, she probably would have. But contrasting with what we were advocating and fighting for last year, to what they're like, yeah, no, you need this this year. I'm like this is amazing. Like to walk away from an IEP meeting thinking that went well, especially when you know there's I think it's about 15 people in the room to be part of Levi's meetings. It's a lot of people to coordinate and to to hear from and to create collaboration and all of that. So that's a lot.
Speaker 1:The other thing I think so it's kind of in the advocate section is we also were working with an outside attorney to get to that diagnosis that I had mentioned earlier in my personal update. So we got denied from the agency that we were trying to get into earlier this year. I've actually been trying since January to knock down this door. So we got denied and reached out to some people that I knew were supportive and they reached out to me to connect me with a different attorney and she just has been guiding us along the way and actually came up with something I never would have come up with on my own in terms of to look at this particular diagnosis, because it just wasn't on our radar. And that's the beauty of having outside brains, because sometimes we're so close to the I don't want to say the problem, because our children are not problems, but we're so close to the tree, we'll go at that that we can't see the forest, and that having this particular help has again been a game changer.
Speaker 1:Okay, onto Game Changer number two. Maybe we'll go with Game Changers, because I don't really wanna totally steal the lazy geniuses' title and everything, so we gotta make it our own. We'll go with Game Changers. So hungry root. So everybody has heard of these meal delivery subscriptions all that not new and I just wanna share this one with you my brother. This is really sweet. My brother had sent Levi a week's worth of, I think, some Happy Fresh or something, I don't know what meal it was. But you get all the things and you make the meals because Levi loves to cook, and so isn't that the sweetest, most personalized gift. So I have done that. So that was my point of reference, and actually it's a good point of reference because while the meals were amazing and it was an amazing gift I was sweating at the end of those meals I was like that's too much, we need simple. And I found hungry root because I think it was at the end of last year, a last school year, I think, may I think is when I started.
Speaker 1:I remember sitting down and Googling grocery delivery. It was something like I didn't wanna even think about what to order. I was like this is just too much, I can't. My brain has no creativity. Yet everybody in my family has to eat. So the first sponsored ad was hungry root. I looked it up. It looked good enough. We were on our way, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I like it because I think it was most similar to how we eat Like. It gives us a meat, we eat meat. Actually, we do get a lot of chicken and one of my sons does complain about that, but we always joke. He's like is this chicken? We're like no, it's turkey, but it's not that different. I don't know it doesn't sound that funny from here, but it is when we're joking with him. So it's like vegetable, maybe a side meat. We call it a day and that's how we generally would eat Like.
Speaker 1:I don't make complex meals when I cook on my own. So these just are very aligned and they're healthy and we like them and I like that. It's good quality food. There's not a lot of all the things that we don't wanna eat. Here's the other game changer, for this is that I eat gluten-free and so I have some major pain right, but you can set the little settings to only give you gluten-free meals. And this is also where I'm like beyond satisfied is that the gluten-free food that they sent you is like really good. They have gluten-free fettuccine and like tortellinis and I've never seen those in the store and they're actually very good and my kids love them. They love the pesto tortellinis, like they're really happy about that.
Speaker 1:And the other thing I wanted the other meal. I'm like if you start, you gotta get this meal, cause we just discovered it. We had it last night and the kids were like so happy. And I have my one kid who's like no more chicken and he was like the most excited about this meal and it's salmon. Oh, cause they're also their salmon is like it is like the best salmon I've ever had. But this is salmon with like. They give you like the sauce, this artichoke spinach sauce to put on top of it and then you bake it and it's like so good, but it's still healthy. So like this is the best of both worlds. So you have to definitely give that meal a try.
Speaker 1:So I looked up real quick. I'm like, hey, I bet they have a referral code and so I thought, well, we both might benefit from using this. I'm gonna put a link in the show notes for a link if you wanted to give it a try. It's super easy, fully customizable. Like I said, it's a game changer and you'll get $50 off your first order. You can sign up for like as much or little food as you want, but $50 off. I'm like that's kind of like a big coupon. So I'm thinking that's a good deal.
Speaker 1:So maybe you do it for like the week before Christmas, like maybe you order it when you hear this episode, like the 13th, and then. Or maybe you do it like right afterwards. You're like I just wanna break, you know. But I had thought I was gonna turn it off over the summer, like oh, we have more time, my husband's home more, because he's in the school industry. But I never did. I just kept it coming because it just took that extra layer of having a meal plan to be able to eat, and we do still go to the market for like simple things like milk and eggs and stuff like that, but this just takes care of like the bulk of like the meal planning and like the dinner shopping, because that was the one that really kind of gave me the biggest headache.
Speaker 1:Okay, third thing, that's a game changer right now and this is not going to be mind blowing, but it's therapy. I actually just started with a new therapist and you know, go back, rewind and listen to kind of what I was sharing with this place that I met in resisting this, accepting certain areas of our journey, and I just wanted to put this little plug in there that, like finding the right support helps and in different seasons, call for different types of support. I mean, clearly I'm a fan of coaching, like right, I think it's the best and it's not always only coaching that can be the support that we need, or maybe it's not coaching at all. Obviously, like there are really different seasons for all the journey, ups and downs that we experience.
Speaker 1:Okay, next one this is like more conceptual than it is an actual thing. I guess the last one was too, but this is the context, right. So when I say context, what I mean by that is it's like a filter, right? So we all know filters from Instagram now, and so it's like you can, like you know, put your picture up there and put a filter on it. It dramatically changes how you see something, and in some cases it's lovely, in some cases not so much. And so we all have these contexts that we use, the way that we look at the world, and some of them are helpful and some of them can be quite limiting.
Speaker 1:And it was several weeks ago. I was actually I was taking a walk around one of the clients that I meet in person, and they have a really beautiful property it's a business, not a person's house and I was walking around and, like I had this really clear. I'm just gonna call it an epiphany, because it was the clear observation that I had been operating from an I am behind context as it related to the holiday season. If you think about this, if you're constantly walking around thinking I am behind, I am behind, I am behind when it comes to holiday, anything naturally you're going to have a harder time accessing any sort of piece or joy, contentment, really anything Cause it's like you're always coming from behind and that's not generally a place that we wanna come from, especially in a season that is highlighted and loved because it does offer the hope of all of that rest and joy and the twinkling lights and all of that.
Speaker 1:So it's so simple, right, like this is a simple concept, but really for myself, the game changer has been returning back to the belief and the reminder that I am not behind, like there's no such thing as behind, like that was invented by somebody in their brain, thinking that they needed to be somewhere where they weren't. So just like we invented it. We can un-invent it and really it's just helped me kind of feel like I have more choice in the matter, like I don't have to like come from behind. I can look and see from where I'm at like what do I wanna choose? Like, what do I wanna keep on my plate, what do I not wanna keep on my plate, and kind of really just check in for to what extent am I operating from choice? Because I am behind, it kind of feels like then everything you have to do to like catch up, you don't stop and think about it If you're like in a race and you're behind, like all you're trying to do is to like get not behind, and oftentimes you would miss any other opportunities that came your way. One of the things I thought I was like, oh my gosh, I feel a little bit like some people are gonna like gasp and think I'm not a very nice person. But that's okay, you don't have to think the same thing I do.
Speaker 1:One of the things that I decided to do this year, when I was planning and kind of coming from that place of what do I choose, is I chose to do no teacher gifts this year. And, yeah, like our team, just like I said, is incredible and I love them and they're working so hard, and it felt to me like too overwhelming to get like 25 gifts for all the people that help all of my children, and so I decided I was not going to do that. It felt great. Now, last thing and it's a little thing and actually it's like a little like, hmm, maybe I'll do this next year.
Speaker 1:I don't know I'm thinking about something, but the last thing that has been a game changer is my planner. I like love my planner when it's pretty, but it just really helps me sort my mind and some of my clients know the particular one I work with. Actually it's a full focus planner, so I don't know if you've heard of it. It's more oriented, I think, towards people in business, but it applies everywhere, I don't know. It just helps me really bring intention into the day and it helps me manage my mind that likes to overload me on all the things that I think I'm supposed to be doing at one time and just kind of like slow it down and get really clear and specific with myself so that I can be in the moment and be present and not try to be 25 places at once.
Speaker 1:And the little thing I was mentioning is like I kind of am thinking I'm toying with the idea of making a planner like for next year. I mean, it won't be done by next year, let's just be clear. That is not going to happen. But taking all of the features that I love about the planner that I use, but customizing it for our needs, I was like that would be a fun project and enough people have talked to me about planning that I'm like I don't think I'm the only one that would benefit from this, so I'm toying with the idea.
Speaker 1:Let me know if you're like, yeah, that's a great idea. Or let me know if you're like, no, don't waste your time, keep going with what you got. Well, those are the five things. Those are the five things I want to share with you, and let me know if you like this style episode, and maybe I'll kind of keep doing them. They've been game changers and I expect that they're going to continue to be game changers through next year. So that's great. Like it just feels like I'm looking at kind of the little list here, I'm like that's a lot of support and that feels really good, all right. Well, we will see you on the next episode. Until then, be well.