{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":11.811,"endTime":14.114,"body":"Well, hello with gratitude Matt listeners."},{"startTime":14.114,"endTime":17.283,"body":"My name is Bill Moran,"},{"startTime":14.114,"endTime":17.283,"body":"and I'm Matt's older brother."},{"startTime":17.617,"endTime":20.987,"body":"And today I will be your host for Hour"},{"startTime":17.617,"endTime":20.987,"body":"with Gratitude Matt Show."},{"startTime":21.421,"endTime":25.759,"body":"Matt's goal with this show is to inspire"},{"startTime":21.421,"endTime":25.759,"body":"more people to practice gratitude"},{"startTime":25.825,"endTime":27.46,"body":"on a regular basis."},{"startTime":27.46,"endTime":30.463,"body":"As you know, Matt passed away"},{"startTime":27.46,"endTime":30.463,"body":"this past August."},{"startTime":30.964,"endTime":33.9,"body":"Matt confronted adversity in illness"},{"startTime":33.9,"endTime":36.903,"body":"and let it be a catalyst for his life,"},{"startTime":36.903,"endTime":40.74,"body":"which was deep in gratitude,"},{"startTime":36.903,"endTime":40.74,"body":"love and faith."},{"startTime":41.307,"endTime":43.71,"body":"Please know that Matt and his wife, Mary,"},{"startTime":43.71,"endTime":46.546,"body":"their girls, and the entire Moran family"},{"startTime":46.546,"endTime":50.55,"body":"appreciate all your love,"},{"startTime":46.546,"endTime":50.55,"body":"prayers, support and generosity."},{"startTime":51.017,"endTime":54.254,"body":"We are so grateful"},{"startTime":51.017,"endTime":54.254,"body":"and blessed to be a part of such"},{"startTime":54.254,"endTime":57.257,"body":"a supporting, caring and loving community."},{"startTime":57.39,"endTime":60.894,"body":"I'm humbled and honored today"},{"startTime":57.39,"endTime":60.894,"body":"to be here with our guest, Ellen Duncan."},{"startTime":61.027,"endTime":61.995,"body":"Welcome, Ellen."},{"startTime":62.996,"endTime":63.396,"body":"Hi, Bill."},{"startTime":63.396,"endTime":66.399,"body":"Thanks for having me. Thanks."},{"startTime":66.533,"endTime":70.07,"body":"The story of Ellen is really a love story"},{"startTime":66.533,"endTime":70.07,"body":"of Ellen and Paul Duncan."},{"startTime":70.47,"endTime":75.775,"body":"They met in September of 2009"},{"startTime":70.47,"endTime":75.775,"body":"while students at Notre Dame Paul,"},{"startTime":75.775,"endTime":78.912,"body":"a 2009 grad, was taking graduate"},{"startTime":78.912,"endTime":81.915,"body":"classes in the fall of 2009"},{"startTime":82.082,"endTime":86.853,"body":"and was also the starting offensive tackle"},{"startTime":82.082,"endTime":86.853,"body":"for the Fighting Irish football team."},{"startTime":87.454,"endTime":91.124,"body":"And Ellen was just beginning her"},{"startTime":87.454,"endTime":91.124,"body":"junior year at Notre Dame."},{"startTime":91.691,"endTime":96.496,"body":"Their relationship started as a friendship"},{"startTime":91.691,"endTime":96.496,"body":"and blossomed into so much more."},{"startTime":96.729,"endTime":100.233,"body":"After Ellen returned from her semester"},{"startTime":96.729,"endTime":100.233,"body":"abroad in London"},{"startTime":100.233,"endTime":104.07,"body":"in the spring of 2010,"},{"startTime":100.233,"endTime":104.07,"body":"Ellen earned her degree."},{"startTime":104.07,"endTime":107.907,"body":"In 2011, and a year later they married."},{"startTime":108.641,"endTime":112.078,"body":"They are blessed with two amazing"},{"startTime":108.641,"endTime":112.078,"body":"daughters, Dylan and Sloan."},{"startTime":113.179,"endTime":115.849,"body":"Paul established himself"},{"startTime":113.179,"endTime":115.849,"body":"as an industry leader"},{"startTime":115.849,"endTime":119.085,"body":"in Construction management"},{"startTime":115.849,"endTime":119.085,"body":"with the Walsh Group in Atlanta,"},{"startTime":119.719,"endTime":124.29,"body":"and in 2020, Ellen"},{"startTime":119.719,"endTime":124.29,"body":"founded Pineapple Partners,"},{"startTime":124.657,"endTime":128.394,"body":"a strategic marketing and growth"},{"startTime":124.657,"endTime":128.394,"body":"consultancy business."},{"startTime":129.129,"endTime":132.132,"body":"Then God's plan for the Duncans changed."},{"startTime":132.765,"endTime":135.768,"body":"Suddenly,"},{"startTime":132.765,"endTime":135.768,"body":"Paul was called to his Heavenly home"},{"startTime":136.002,"endTime":138.838,"body":"on July 16th, 2002,"},{"startTime":140.073,"endTime":140.974,"body":"with the support of her"},{"startTime":140.974,"endTime":144.31,"body":"family,"},{"startTime":140.974,"endTime":144.31,"body":"her friends, and her deep Catholic faith."},{"startTime":144.811,"endTime":148.248,"body":"Ellen decided"},{"startTime":144.811,"endTime":148.248,"body":"to share her experiences of grief,"},{"startTime":149.015,"endTime":152.018,"body":"hope, love and faith with others."},{"startTime":152.552,"endTime":155.522,"body":"Ellen, thank you for being here today."},{"startTime":155.522,"endTime":159.959,"body":"Before we get into"},{"startTime":155.522,"endTime":159.959,"body":"what you are sharing with others,"},{"startTime":159.959,"endTime":162.996,"body":"I'd like to kind of get to know"},{"startTime":159.959,"endTime":162.996,"body":"you and let the listeners get to know you."},{"startTime":163.029,"endTime":166.332,"body":"So kind of why don't you just walk us"},{"startTime":163.029,"endTime":166.332,"body":"through where you grew up"},{"startTime":166.332,"endTime":170.837,"body":"and how did your family"},{"startTime":166.332,"endTime":170.837,"body":"and all those kinds of beautiful things."},{"startTime":170.937,"endTime":174.374,"body":"Sure, I'm happy to and really glad"},{"startTime":170.937,"endTime":174.374,"body":"to be part of this message."},{"startTime":174.374,"endTime":177.911,"body":"I had the chance to interact"},{"startTime":174.374,"endTime":177.911,"body":"a little bit with Mad just over,"},{"startTime":178.378,"endTime":180.813,"body":"you know, social media and email"},{"startTime":178.378,"endTime":180.813,"body":"before he passed."},{"startTime":180.813,"endTime":183.75,"body":"So, so glad to be able to join today."},{"startTime":183.75,"endTime":187.82,"body":"So I grew up in Bucks County,"},{"startTime":183.75,"endTime":187.82,"body":"Pennsylvania, which is where I now am back"},{"startTime":188.421,"endTime":191.558,"body":"for all the sort of chapters"},{"startTime":188.421,"endTime":191.558,"body":"that life has unfolded,"},{"startTime":191.591,"endTime":193.993,"body":"especially in the last year"},{"startTime":191.591,"endTime":193.993,"body":"and a half for us."},{"startTime":193.993,"endTime":196.462,"body":"So I grew up outside"},{"startTime":193.993,"endTime":196.462,"body":"Philadelphia, actually lived abroad."},{"startTime":196.462,"endTime":200.767,"body":"Growing up"},{"startTime":196.462,"endTime":200.767,"body":"we lived in London and I'm from a very"},{"startTime":201.901,"endTime":204.47,"body":"vast and deep Notre Dame family."},{"startTime":204.47,"endTime":207.44,"body":"Both my parents went to that"},{"startTime":204.47,"endTime":207.44,"body":"end in law school."},{"startTime":207.44,"endTime":211.644,"body":"I think I have if I look on some file, 27"},{"startTime":212.212,"endTime":215.381,"body":"aunts, uncles, grandparents, great"},{"startTime":212.212,"endTime":215.381,"body":"grandparents, great great grandparents."},{"startTime":215.882,"endTime":217.917,"body":"There's a lot of deep that idiom history."},{"startTime":217.917,"endTime":220.353,"body":"I always joke that I fulfilled the"},{"startTime":220.353,"endTime":223.022,"body":"the dream by married and entertained"},{"startTime":220.353,"endTime":223.022,"body":"football player."},{"startTime":223.022,"endTime":226.526,"body":"It's sad,"},{"startTime":223.022,"endTime":226.526,"body":"but the my daughter Dylan actually."},{"startTime":226.526,"endTime":230.296,"body":"So Father Patrick Dylan is"},{"startTime":226.526,"endTime":230.296,"body":"an ancestor of ours so lots of Notre Dame"},{"startTime":230.296,"endTime":232.065,"body":"history there"},{"startTime":232.065,"endTime":235.068,"body":"but grew up in Pennsylvania,"},{"startTime":232.065,"endTime":235.068,"body":"went to Notre Dame undergrad,"},{"startTime":235.101,"endTime":239.339,"body":"and then Paul"},{"startTime":235.101,"endTime":239.339,"body":"and I lived in Chicago for a few years and"},{"startTime":240.54,"endTime":241.841,"body":"then Atlanta for ten years."},{"startTime":241.841,"endTime":245.211,"body":"I have three brothers"},{"startTime":241.841,"endTime":245.211,"body":"who two of whom are also Notre"},{"startTime":245.211,"endTime":248.248,"body":"Dame grads, and they live in the D.C."},{"startTime":248.248,"endTime":249.449,"body":"Philadelphia areas."},{"startTime":250.917,"endTime":251.184,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":251.184,"endTime":256.422,"body":"So just sort of been in a whirlwind,"},{"startTime":251.184,"endTime":256.422,"body":"obviously, for the last year and a half."},{"startTime":256.422,"endTime":259.158,"body":"But as you talked about there,"},{"startTime":256.422,"endTime":259.158,"body":"and I'm sure we'll talk about more"},{"startTime":259.158,"endTime":263.129,"body":"just sort of the foundation of everything"},{"startTime":259.158,"endTime":263.129,"body":"that came before has been helpful for us"},{"startTime":263.129,"endTime":266.132,"body":"to be able to continue going forward."},{"startTime":266.165,"endTime":268.301,"body":"Right. Yeah. No, that's that's wonderful."},{"startTime":268.301,"endTime":272.739,"body":"And I'm glad you're back with family"},{"startTime":268.301,"endTime":272.739,"body":"in the Philly area."},{"startTime":273.539,"endTime":276.542,"body":"You know, one of the things that I found"},{"startTime":276.809,"endTime":280.713,"body":"really touching"},{"startTime":276.809,"endTime":280.713,"body":"was when you spoke at at Paul's funeral"},{"startTime":280.713,"endTime":282.849,"body":"and we're going to bounce"},{"startTime":280.713,"endTime":282.849,"body":"around a little bit,"},{"startTime":282.849,"endTime":286.219,"body":"but what you spoke of"},{"startTime":282.849,"endTime":286.219,"body":"was how you were introduced."},{"startTime":286.219,"endTime":288.121,"body":"And I think that's just"},{"startTime":286.219,"endTime":288.121,"body":"just a charming story."},{"startTime":288.121,"endTime":290.256,"body":"Please share that with the listeners."},{"startTime":290.256,"endTime":292.058,"body":"One of my favorites."},{"startTime":292.058,"endTime":294.594,"body":"So my beautiful mother in law,"},{"startTime":292.058,"endTime":294.594,"body":"Julie Duncan,"},{"startTime":294.594,"endTime":299.432,"body":"with Paul's parents, were wonderful"},{"startTime":294.594,"endTime":299.432,"body":"supporters of him in general."},{"startTime":299.432,"endTime":301.034,"body":"Obviously, and in his football career."},{"startTime":301.034,"endTime":301.801,"body":"And so they attended,"},{"startTime":301.801,"endTime":306.506,"body":"I think, every single Notre Dame football"},{"startTime":301.801,"endTime":306.506,"body":"team game while he was a player. And"},{"startTime":307.44,"endTime":308.675,"body":"so in September 5th of"},{"startTime":308.675,"endTime":313.046,"body":"2009, it was the first Notre"},{"startTime":308.675,"endTime":313.046,"body":"Dame football home game of that season."},{"startTime":313.079,"endTime":317.55,"body":"And we were some girlfriends"},{"startTime":313.079,"endTime":317.55,"body":"and I were at CJ's pub,"},{"startTime":317.55,"endTime":321.721,"body":"the old CJ's of those"},{"startTime":317.55,"endTime":321.721,"body":"I know, not the new one and the"},{"startTime":322.188,"endTime":325.758,"body":"I say there's a couple different versions"},{"startTime":322.188,"endTime":325.758,"body":"of the story of longer story, but"},{"startTime":326.292,"endTime":330.596,"body":"one of my best friends, Bridesmaid"},{"startTime":326.292,"endTime":330.596,"body":"in our wedding best friend remaining today"},{"startTime":330.93,"endTime":334.767,"body":"she pointed out"},{"startTime":330.93,"endTime":334.767,"body":"Paul Paul at the time had a long hair."},{"startTime":335.168,"endTime":338.371,"body":"He was probably over £300 and six seven."},{"startTime":338.371,"endTime":340.44,"body":"And she said,"},{"startTime":338.371,"endTime":340.44,"body":"That guy looks like Gaston from Beauty"},{"startTime":340.44,"endTime":343.109,"body":"and the Beast used"},{"startTime":340.44,"endTime":343.109,"body":"That sort of is a villain."},{"startTime":343.109,"endTime":345.445,"body":"But it was a big guy, good looking guy."},{"startTime":345.445,"endTime":348.848,"body":"And we sort of laughed, moved on"},{"startTime":345.445,"endTime":348.848,"body":"and then fast forward"},{"startTime":349.382,"endTime":352.085,"body":"several hours"},{"startTime":349.382,"endTime":352.085,"body":"and the night I wanted to go home"},{"startTime":352.085,"endTime":354.153,"body":"and try to find someone"},{"startTime":352.085,"endTime":354.153,"body":"to take a cab with."},{"startTime":354.153,"endTime":358.358,"body":"And this woman tapped me on the shoulder"},{"startTime":354.153,"endTime":358.358,"body":"and said, Sweetie, you are so cute."},{"startTime":358.858,"endTime":359.859,"body":"And I said, Oh, thank you."},{"startTime":359.859,"endTime":362.762,"body":"Thought she was going to try to ask me"},{"startTime":359.859,"endTime":362.762,"body":"to move or something."},{"startTime":362.762,"endTime":365.732,"body":"And and she said, Would you meet my son?"},{"startTime":366.265,"endTime":368.034,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":366.265,"endTime":368.034,"body":"That's an interesting question."},{"startTime":368.034,"endTime":370.103,"body":"And I said, Well,"},{"startTime":368.034,"endTime":370.103,"body":"who is he? As you pointed."},{"startTime":370.103,"endTime":370.97,"body":"And it was Gaston."},{"startTime":370.97,"endTime":373.94,"body":"And so I said, Oh,"},{"startTime":370.97,"endTime":373.94,"body":"once Erika will think this is hilarious."},{"startTime":373.94,"endTime":374.807,"body":"I mean, that's done."},{"startTime":374.807,"endTime":377.643,"body":"And so the rest is sort of history"},{"startTime":374.807,"endTime":377.643,"body":"from there."},{"startTime":377.643,"endTime":378.778,"body":"That's great."},{"startTime":378.778,"endTime":384.35,"body":"At what point did you ever share with him"},{"startTime":378.778,"endTime":384.35,"body":"that you had nicknamed him a guest on We?"},{"startTime":384.35,"endTime":385.351,"body":"That's the news."},{"startTime":385.351,"endTime":387.887,"body":"We, you know,"},{"startTime":385.351,"endTime":387.887,"body":"sort of fell for each other very fast."},{"startTime":387.887,"endTime":392.058,"body":"And so by a few weeks"},{"startTime":387.887,"endTime":392.058,"body":"into our relationship,"},{"startTime":392.058,"endTime":395.762,"body":"he was like, I guess I had to stop"},{"startTime":392.058,"endTime":395.762,"body":"calling you guest on to"},{"startTime":396.496,"endTime":398.998,"body":"but actually referred to as Paul. Oh."},{"startTime":398.998,"endTime":401.701,"body":"Oh gosh that's"},{"startTime":398.998,"endTime":401.701,"body":"great. How did he take that?"},{"startTime":403.069,"endTime":404.404,"body":"You know, there's always a funny story."},{"startTime":404.404,"endTime":406.472,"body":"The girl still definitely has a story."},{"startTime":406.472,"endTime":407.173,"body":"We tell a lot."},{"startTime":407.173,"endTime":409.442,"body":"So even"},{"startTime":409.442,"endTime":411.511,"body":"probably about a year ago I played"},{"startTime":411.511,"endTime":414.514,"body":"sort of an avid tennis player,"},{"startTime":411.511,"endTime":414.514,"body":"especially in our Atlanta chapter."},{"startTime":414.514,"endTime":418.518,"body":"And one of my tennis partners"},{"startTime":414.514,"endTime":418.518,"body":"gave me a little Gaston figurine"},{"startTime":418.518,"endTime":420.953,"body":"to carry around in our tennis bag."},{"startTime":418.518,"endTime":420.953,"body":"So still lives."},{"startTime":420.953,"endTime":421.854,"body":"That's beautiful."},{"startTime":421.854,"endTime":424.157,"body":"I hope that still is in your tennis bag."},{"startTime":424.157,"endTime":425.458,"body":"Yes. So then."},{"startTime":425.458,"endTime":428.194,"body":"But then you"},{"startTime":428.194,"endTime":430.43,"body":"studied abroad in London,"},{"startTime":430.43,"endTime":433.433,"body":"second semester of 2009."},{"startTime":433.8,"endTime":436.803,"body":"Were you dating"},{"startTime":433.8,"endTime":436.803,"body":"or how did like what happened?"},{"startTime":437.77,"endTime":441.674,"body":"We were at sort of a"},{"startTime":437.77,"endTime":441.674,"body":"when I look back at it now and, you know,"},{"startTime":442.241,"endTime":446.946,"body":"at, oh, I guess almost 36, you still feel"},{"startTime":442.241,"endTime":446.946,"body":"like you're have all this wisdom now."},{"startTime":446.946,"endTime":452.385,"body":"But we so I was 21 at the time when we met"},{"startTime":446.946,"endTime":452.385,"body":"and I went,"},{"startTime":452.585,"endTime":457.023,"body":"yeah, So we started dating"},{"startTime":452.585,"endTime":457.023,"body":"and then Paul was he said a non-degree"},{"startTime":457.023,"endTime":460.827,"body":"seeking grad student,"},{"startTime":457.023,"endTime":460.827,"body":"which was a funny term for him."},{"startTime":460.827,"endTime":463.563,"body":"I know they showed his title on TV,"},{"startTime":460.827,"endTime":463.563,"body":"but he had graduated."},{"startTime":463.563,"endTime":465.331,"body":"And then at that point, the coaching"},{"startTime":465.331,"endTime":469.702,"body":"philosophy at Notre Dame was to not have"},{"startTime":465.331,"endTime":469.702,"body":"fifth year pursue graduate degrees."},{"startTime":469.702,"endTime":470.303,"body":"And so"},{"startTime":472.238,"endTime":473.272,"body":"Paul then went"},{"startTime":473.272,"endTime":477.143,"body":"into sort of the journey"},{"startTime":473.272,"endTime":477.143,"body":"of exploring professional football."},{"startTime":477.143,"endTime":481.08,"body":"And so that spring,"},{"startTime":477.143,"endTime":481.08,"body":"so of January of 2010, I went to London."},{"startTime":481.08,"endTime":483.516,"body":"He was training"},{"startTime":483.516,"endTime":486.853,"body":"and we had so it's we"},{"startTime":488.187,"endTime":489.121,"body":"dated zoomed."},{"startTime":489.121,"endTime":492.091,"body":"I guess Zoom did exist at that point"},{"startTime":492.091,"endTime":495.428,"body":"and it was a whirlwind,"},{"startTime":492.091,"endTime":495.428,"body":"like I said, a week,"},{"startTime":495.428,"endTime":500.433,"body":"so that when I got back in May of 2010"},{"startTime":495.428,"endTime":500.433,"body":"from London and we got engaged."},{"startTime":500.433,"endTime":502.502,"body":"So and I think back to it"},{"startTime":502.502,"endTime":506.405,"body":"and it all, you know,"},{"startTime":502.502,"endTime":506.405,"body":"I obviously no regrets on any of it"},{"startTime":506.405,"endTime":507.773,"body":"and we were able to have all the time"},{"startTime":506.405,"endTime":507.773,"body":"together."},{"startTime":507.773,"endTime":511.11,"body":"But people were shocked because I was"},{"startTime":507.773,"endTime":511.11,"body":"engaged before my senior year of college."},{"startTime":511.11,"endTime":514.213,"body":"So sort of not completely atypical"},{"startTime":511.11,"endTime":514.213,"body":"for a Notre Dame."},{"startTime":514.213,"endTime":517.283,"body":"But now and I, you know, meet a 21 year"},{"startTime":514.213,"endTime":517.283,"body":"old, I'm like, oh, my gosh,"},{"startTime":517.283,"endTime":519.218,"body":"I can't believe that was that. Young. Wow."},{"startTime":519.218,"endTime":523.256,"body":"So that a fairy tale"},{"startTime":519.218,"endTime":523.256,"body":"wedding in April of 2012."},{"startTime":523.623,"endTime":524.423,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":524.423,"endTime":526.259,"body":"So then shortly thereafter,"},{"startTime":526.259,"endTime":529.896,"body":"the family comes in with the birth"},{"startTime":526.259,"endTime":529.896,"body":"of your first daughter, Dylan."},{"startTime":530.696,"endTime":533.466,"body":"When did when, when was Dylan born? Then?"},{"startTime":533.466,"endTime":534.867,"body":"In August of 2015."},{"startTime":534.867,"endTime":537.737,"body":"So we had a"},{"startTime":534.867,"endTime":537.737,"body":"we lived in Chicago for a few years."},{"startTime":537.737,"endTime":543.342,"body":"And then Paul got an opportunity"},{"startTime":537.737,"endTime":543.342,"body":"to with the Walsh Group, Archer Western,"},{"startTime":543.342,"endTime":547.346,"body":"which is an entertainment company,"},{"startTime":543.342,"endTime":547.346,"body":"to work on a project in Atlanta."},{"startTime":547.346,"endTime":549.549,"body":"And so he grew up in that broader"},{"startTime":547.346,"endTime":549.549,"body":"Atlanta area."},{"startTime":549.549,"endTime":552.852,"body":"I worked for Accenture at the time,"},{"startTime":549.549,"endTime":552.852,"body":"and so we just sort of said,"},{"startTime":552.852,"endTime":557.089,"body":"let's try to move be near closer"},{"startTime":552.852,"endTime":557.089,"body":"to the Duncan side for a few years."},{"startTime":557.089,"endTime":560.259,"body":"And then we ended up staying"},{"startTime":557.089,"endTime":560.259,"body":"both girls were born in Atlanta."},{"startTime":560.259,"endTime":562.495,"body":"Sloan was born in 2017."},{"startTime":562.495,"endTime":565.865,"body":"I ended up transitioning from Accenture"},{"startTime":562.495,"endTime":565.865,"body":"to the Coca-Cola Company"},{"startTime":565.865,"endTime":569.101,"body":"and spent close to seven years"},{"startTime":565.865,"endTime":569.101,"body":"working for Coca-Cola"},{"startTime":569.535,"endTime":573.072,"body":"and really had just established"},{"startTime":569.535,"endTime":573.072,"body":"some great roots in Atlanta."},{"startTime":573.406,"endTime":577.476,"body":"And at that point in time,"},{"startTime":573.406,"endTime":577.476,"body":"what was life like for the four of you."},{"startTime":578.144,"endTime":578.711,"body":"Really,"},{"startTime":579.946,"endTime":581.247,"body":"you know, truly beautiful."},{"startTime":581.247,"endTime":583.449,"body":"That's one of the things that"},{"startTime":583.449,"endTime":586.352,"body":"makes it so hard but so great."},{"startTime":586.352,"endTime":590.089,"body":"I mean, grateful"},{"startTime":586.352,"endTime":590.089,"body":"for everything that happened is I"},{"startTime":590.122,"endTime":594.36,"body":"we talk a lot about the sort of"},{"startTime":590.122,"endTime":594.36,"body":"just few days even right before Paul fell,"},{"startTime":594.36,"endTime":598.598,"body":"where the night before we were at"},{"startTime":594.36,"endTime":598.598,"body":"our favorite restaurant had a picture."},{"startTime":598.598,"endTime":600.833,"body":"Margarita,"},{"startTime":598.598,"endTime":600.833,"body":"the girls are having a great time"},{"startTime":600.833,"endTime":603.836,"body":"the morning of Just in our Groove"},{"startTime":605.037,"endTime":609.308,"body":"and we really yeah had found a great"},{"startTime":605.037,"endTime":609.308,"body":"in our groove, I guess best way to say it."},{"startTime":609.976,"endTime":614.447,"body":"So in 2022, Sloan was four"},{"startTime":609.976,"endTime":614.447,"body":"and Dylan was six"},{"startTime":614.947,"endTime":617.95,"body":"and they"},{"startTime":618.384,"endTime":618.718,"body":"where?"},{"startTime":618.718,"endTime":623.089,"body":"Yeah, we were just in a great place,"},{"startTime":618.718,"endTime":623.089,"body":"had beautiful we had moved into a new home"},{"startTime":623.089,"endTime":626.792,"body":"in 2018, had great neighborhood, great"},{"startTime":628.961,"endTime":629.662,"body":"things for good."},{"startTime":629.662,"endTime":634.033,"body":"So Paul like being a girl did,"},{"startTime":629.662,"endTime":634.033,"body":"and he made that be known"},{"startTime":635.134,"endTime":636.235,"body":"and you"},{"startTime":636.235,"endTime":639.872,"body":"know, and we'll get"},{"startTime":636.235,"endTime":639.872,"body":"into a little bit about, you know, your"},{"startTime":640.106,"endTime":642.842,"body":"your message and how you share it"},{"startTime":642.842,"endTime":645.845,"body":"on your Instagram, which is amazing."},{"startTime":646.512,"endTime":649.982,"body":"So it's hard for me to even talk about it."},{"startTime":649.982,"endTime":652.852,"body":"I you lived it. So that's your story."},{"startTime":652.852,"endTime":656.989,"body":"So on Friday, July 15th,"},{"startTime":652.852,"endTime":656.989,"body":"Paul goes out for some exercise."},{"startTime":656.989,"endTime":660.226,"body":"And he was you know, you mentioned before,"},{"startTime":656.989,"endTime":660.226,"body":"I got to tell you,"},{"startTime":660.226,"endTime":663.629,"body":"you know, as an offense of I'm"},{"startTime":660.226,"endTime":663.629,"body":"I'm not an offensive lineman."},{"startTime":663.629,"endTime":665.531,"body":"Paul was an offensive lineman."},{"startTime":665.531,"endTime":668.534,"body":"He was a big guy, you know, like you said."},{"startTime":668.668,"endTime":672.038,"body":"But the photos and the videos that I saw,"},{"startTime":672.038,"endTime":676.409,"body":"Paul, was he was trim and fit."},{"startTime":676.409,"endTime":679.445,"body":"He wasn't the £300 offensive lineman."},{"startTime":679.445,"endTime":682.448,"body":"So he had really transformed his body."},{"startTime":682.581,"endTime":687.119,"body":"Look more like a I would say, a basketball"},{"startTime":682.581,"endTime":687.119,"body":"power forward kind of."},{"startTime":687.153,"endTime":689.488,"body":"Is that an accurate kind of."},{"startTime":689.488,"endTime":690.356,"body":"Sure. Tight end."},{"startTime":690.356,"endTime":692.992,"body":"A lot of people. Okay. There you go. There"},{"startTime":690.356,"endTime":692.992,"body":"you go."},{"startTime":692.992,"endTime":696.095,"body":"Paul played for sort of a cup of coffee,"},{"startTime":692.992,"endTime":696.095,"body":"as he would say."},{"startTime":696.495,"endTime":698.064,"body":"The NFL for the Broncos."},{"startTime":698.064,"endTime":701.133,"body":"And then for a variety"},{"startTime":698.064,"endTime":701.133,"body":"of reasons, most of really,"},{"startTime":702.201,"endTime":702.902,"body":"you know, speak for"},{"startTime":702.902,"endTime":706.172,"body":"him just up until he wanted to sort of"},{"startTime":702.902,"endTime":706.172,"body":"start our life and not be,"},{"startTime":706.972,"endTime":709.141,"body":"you know, just sort of out"},{"startTime":706.972,"endTime":709.141,"body":"questions on month to month"},{"startTime":709.141,"endTime":711.377,"body":"what what would be happening"},{"startTime":709.141,"endTime":711.377,"body":"with a football career."},{"startTime":711.377,"endTime":715.881,"body":"So he decided to pursue a more,"},{"startTime":711.377,"endTime":715.881,"body":"I guess, traditional business career."},{"startTime":715.881,"endTime":718.884,"body":"And so I was started"},{"startTime":715.881,"endTime":718.884,"body":"working with the Walsh Group. But"},{"startTime":719.885,"endTime":722.822,"body":"you sort of see these two trajectories"},{"startTime":719.885,"endTime":722.822,"body":"sometimes that former,"},{"startTime":722.822,"endTime":725.825,"body":"you know, especially elite level"},{"startTime":722.822,"endTime":725.825,"body":"football players take or they just"},{"startTime":725.825,"endTime":730.629,"body":"sort of lean into being the big guy or"},{"startTime":725.825,"endTime":730.629,"body":"and Paul definitely took the other extreme"},{"startTime":730.629,"endTime":735.334,"body":"and was very, very active,"},{"startTime":730.629,"endTime":735.334,"body":"very sad in the year prior"},{"startTime":735.334,"endTime":740.239,"body":"to passing away, he ran two marathons,"},{"startTime":735.334,"endTime":740.239,"body":"one right at 4 hours."},{"startTime":740.239,"endTime":742.274,"body":"So he was definitely very good shape."},{"startTime":742.274,"endTime":746.912,"body":"Yeah, that's well, he his athletic prowess"},{"startTime":742.274,"endTime":746.912,"body":"carried from basketball"},{"startTime":746.912,"endTime":749.882,"body":"football over to distance running"},{"startTime":746.912,"endTime":749.882,"body":"and that's amazing."},{"startTime":750.015,"endTime":752.518,"body":"So he goes out for his run and"},{"startTime":752.518,"endTime":754.687,"body":"and then the next"},{"startTime":752.518,"endTime":754.687,"body":"day he was called to heaven."},{"startTime":755.755,"endTime":759.425,"body":"And this is beautiful and it's"},{"startTime":755.755,"endTime":759.425,"body":"I have a set."},{"startTime":759.458,"endTime":764.63,"body":"Well, I borrowed this from a good friend"},{"startTime":759.458,"endTime":764.63,"body":"who lost both her husband and her son."},{"startTime":764.63,"endTime":766.265,"body":"And she says, beautiful."},{"startTime":766.265,"endTime":768.901,"body":"It's brutal"},{"startTime":766.265,"endTime":768.901,"body":"and beautiful at the same time."},{"startTime":768.901,"endTime":772.004,"body":"But so used to tell"},{"startTime":768.901,"endTime":772.004,"body":"the girls that Paul's past"},{"startTime":772.004,"endTime":776.342,"body":"and if you could share that story,"},{"startTime":772.004,"endTime":776.342,"body":"which again, is is beautiful"},{"startTime":776.342,"endTime":780.279,"body":"and painful"},{"startTime":776.342,"endTime":780.279,"body":"all at the same time for sure. Yep."},{"startTime":780.312,"endTime":784.65,"body":"So exactly as you said, Bella"},{"startTime":780.312,"endTime":784.65,"body":"going out for a run,"},{"startTime":784.65,"endTime":788.12,"body":"our younger daughter was with him."},{"startTime":788.821,"endTime":792.725,"body":"I happened to be on a conference call."},{"startTime":792.725,"endTime":793.592,"body":"Paul's sister at the time"},{"startTime":793.592,"endTime":796.395,"body":"was actually working on a project with me,"},{"startTime":793.592,"endTime":796.395,"body":"so she was on the call."},{"startTime":796.395,"endTime":799.231,"body":"So a lot of things that again,"},{"startTime":796.395,"endTime":799.231,"body":"you know, made it."},{"startTime":799.231,"endTime":802.968,"body":"Communication happened quickly"},{"startTime":799.231,"endTime":802.968,"body":"when I got the call from the police. But"},{"startTime":804.003,"endTime":804.336,"body":"all of"},{"startTime":804.336,"endTime":807.94,"body":"what you"},{"startTime":804.336,"endTime":807.94,"body":"say, the hard sort of of the story"},{"startTime":807.94,"endTime":811.41,"body":"that leads up to is that I was close"},{"startTime":807.94,"endTime":811.41,"body":"to our house within our neighborhood."},{"startTime":811.41,"endTime":814.78,"body":"I went down"},{"startTime":811.41,"endTime":814.78,"body":"ambulances, police cars, fire trucks."},{"startTime":814.78,"endTime":817.783,"body":"I was he was,"},{"startTime":814.78,"endTime":817.783,"body":"you know, wanted to get to Sloan."},{"startTime":818.851,"endTime":821.12,"body":"And then as soon as I"},{"startTime":821.12,"endTime":823.022,"body":"saw the way"},{"startTime":821.12,"endTime":823.022,"body":"the police officer looked at me,"},{"startTime":823.022,"endTime":826.258,"body":"I just had this immediate,"},{"startTime":823.022,"endTime":826.258,"body":"you know, shot of the whole experience."},{"startTime":826.258,"endTime":829.762,"body":"The only way to describe it that I knew"},{"startTime":826.258,"endTime":829.762,"body":"my life was never going to be the same."},{"startTime":831.33,"endTime":833.732,"body":"And it just was this"},{"startTime":833.732,"endTime":838.838,"body":"immense sort of feeling of protection"},{"startTime":833.732,"endTime":838.838,"body":"and strength and also just this true"},{"startTime":838.838,"endTime":844.577,"body":"reality that now in, you know, reflect"},{"startTime":838.838,"endTime":844.577,"body":"a lot of reflection and talking about it."},{"startTime":844.743,"endTime":845.477,"body":"A lot of other people"},{"startTime":845.477,"endTime":848.781,"body":"didn't that were involved or,"},{"startTime":845.477,"endTime":848.781,"body":"you know, within the next 24 hours"},{"startTime":849.448,"endTime":852.451,"body":"came to under know what happened"},{"startTime":849.448,"endTime":852.451,"body":"but didn't have that experience."},{"startTime":852.451,"endTime":855.754,"body":"I really had this like pivotal moment"},{"startTime":852.451,"endTime":855.754,"body":"of like our life will never be the same,"},{"startTime":856.288,"endTime":859.792,"body":"you know, I shouldn't say versus"},{"startTime":856.288,"endTime":859.792,"body":"but others I really don't know how"},{"startTime":860.259,"endTime":861.093,"body":"holding on to this."},{"startTime":861.093,"endTime":862.862,"body":"Everything can be okay type of hope."},{"startTime":864.029,"endTime":865.831,"body":"So the"},{"startTime":865.831,"endTime":868.834,"body":"day proceeds to happen,"},{"startTime":865.831,"endTime":868.834,"body":"you know, the way that"},{"startTime":869.935,"endTime":872.571,"body":"sort of of whole sort of blessing"},{"startTime":869.935,"endTime":872.571,"body":"some of my very,"},{"startTime":872.571,"endTime":874.94,"body":"very best friends in the world"},{"startTime":872.571,"endTime":874.94,"body":"as an interventional cardiologist."},{"startTime":874.94,"endTime":879.445,"body":"And he was able to again,"},{"startTime":874.94,"endTime":879.445,"body":"sort of from the first minute"},{"startTime":879.445,"endTime":883.015,"body":"that he spoke to the doctors"},{"startTime":879.445,"endTime":883.015,"body":"and like he knew that like"},{"startTime":883.816,"endTime":886.352,"body":"this is an it just was"},{"startTime":886.352,"endTime":890.756,"body":"there were I was able to communicate"},{"startTime":886.352,"endTime":890.756,"body":"in a way that I knew what the reality was,"},{"startTime":891.657,"endTime":894.66,"body":"even though we weren't"},{"startTime":891.657,"endTime":894.66,"body":"officially told for another day."},{"startTime":894.994,"endTime":897.096,"body":"So all that to say"},{"startTime":894.994,"endTime":897.096,"body":"the girls were with their cousins."},{"startTime":897.096,"endTime":903.068,"body":"And someone said to me"},{"startTime":897.096,"endTime":903.068,"body":"in the course of those 6 hours on Friday,"},{"startTime":903.602,"endTime":906.272,"body":"I would hate to"},{"startTime":903.602,"endTime":906.272,"body":"when we when it was evident"},{"startTime":906.272,"endTime":909.241,"body":"what was sort of to come,"},{"startTime":906.272,"endTime":909.241,"body":"someone said to me,"},{"startTime":909.508,"endTime":913.145,"body":"I would hate to have known that on the day"},{"startTime":909.508,"endTime":913.145,"body":"my dad died,"},{"startTime":913.145,"endTime":917.082,"body":"I was like having a really fun day"},{"startTime":913.145,"endTime":917.082,"body":"and it just sort of not to me."},{"startTime":917.082,"endTime":918.15,"body":"And I said, You know, I should"},{"startTime":919.418,"endTime":920.986,"body":"I should see the girls I had"},{"startTime":920.986,"endTime":923.989,"body":"the girls brought back to our house"},{"startTime":920.986,"endTime":923.989,"body":"only about 10 minutes to the hospital,"},{"startTime":924.49,"endTime":925.157,"body":"went home."},{"startTime":925.157,"endTime":929.628,"body":"And I just been praying and"},{"startTime":925.157,"endTime":929.628,"body":"just looking for clarity on what to say."},{"startTime":929.628,"endTime":931.764,"body":"I was extremely young,"},{"startTime":929.628,"endTime":931.764,"body":"obviously experienced."},{"startTime":931.764,"endTime":936.602,"body":"I frankly, no one had been through that"},{"startTime":931.764,"endTime":936.602,"body":"in my network or circle"},{"startTime":936.602,"endTime":939.571,"body":"or actually that point as close friends"},{"startTime":936.602,"endTime":939.571,"body":"that were even part of it."},{"startTime":939.939,"endTime":942.908,"body":"And I had"},{"startTime":942.908,"endTime":946.245,"body":"the girls come inside and said to them,"},{"startTime":942.908,"endTime":946.245,"body":"and they're there now I"},{"startTime":946.245,"endTime":949.248,"body":"you about look at I'm like, oh my gosh,"},{"startTime":946.245,"endTime":949.248,"body":"they were so tiny at that point that"},{"startTime":949.715,"endTime":952.718,"body":"and said"},{"startTime":953.152,"endTime":956.322,"body":"that dads, we don't know if that's brains"},{"startTime":953.152,"endTime":956.322,"body":"going to start working again."},{"startTime":956.956,"endTime":959.591,"body":"And so there was two questions"},{"startTime":956.956,"endTime":959.591,"body":"because I wanted to know for them"},{"startTime":959.591,"endTime":961.26,"body":"did they want to see him?"},{"startTime":961.26,"endTime":963.963,"body":"Because at that point"},{"startTime":961.26,"endTime":963.963,"body":"that could have had an implication."},{"startTime":963.963,"endTime":967.633,"body":"It didn't end up into the"},{"startTime":963.963,"endTime":967.633,"body":"organ donation possibilities"},{"startTime":968.634,"endTime":970.869,"body":"and then just basically let him know that"},{"startTime":968.634,"endTime":970.869,"body":"that's"},{"startTime":970.869,"endTime":974.206,"body":"we'll find out tomorrow of his brain"},{"startTime":970.869,"endTime":974.206,"body":"will start will start working again."},{"startTime":974.84,"endTime":975.574,"body":"And they cried."},{"startTime":975.574,"endTime":976.642,"body":"I was I was crying."},{"startTime":976.642,"endTime":979.645,"body":"And then they just sort of"},{"startTime":980.346,"endTime":983.349,"body":"said, so, well, let's just go get some"},{"startTime":983.482,"endTime":986.485,"body":"make some macaroni and cheese and"},{"startTime":988.554,"endTime":991.123,"body":"we have a sort of tradition in our house,"},{"startTime":988.554,"endTime":991.123,"body":"which we still do,"},{"startTime":991.123,"endTime":993.125,"body":"of having sort of playlists and songs"},{"startTime":991.123,"endTime":993.125,"body":"that we play."},{"startTime":993.125,"endTime":996.128,"body":"And so Dylan said, my older daughter,"},{"startTime":997.162,"endTime":1002.034,"body":"we should play the morning playlist"},{"startTime":997.162,"endTime":1002.034,"body":"and the song that Daddy just added."},{"startTime":1002.034,"endTime":1004.003,"body":"And I was like,"},{"startTime":1002.034,"endTime":1004.003,"body":"What are you talking about?"},{"startTime":1004.003,"endTime":1004.937,"body":"Because it's not exactly."},{"startTime":1004.937,"endTime":1006.772,"body":"It's more like my style to add songs."},{"startTime":1006.772,"endTime":1007.673,"body":"So players have like"},{"startTime":1007.673,"endTime":1011.377,"body":"I think Dad added a song to the morning"},{"startTime":1007.673,"endTime":1011.377,"body":"playlist and she's like, Hey, no, he did."},{"startTime":1011.377,"endTime":1012.344,"body":"He did."},{"startTime":1012.344,"endTime":1014.213,"body":"And so I said,"},{"startTime":1012.344,"endTime":1014.213,"body":"There's no Alexa in this room."},{"startTime":1014.213,"endTime":1015.447,"body":"I said, Alexa, play"},{"startTime":1016.415,"endTime":1017.483,"body":"the morning playlist"},{"startTime":1017.483,"endTime":1021.32,"body":"and I can only imagine"},{"startTime":1017.483,"endTime":1021.32,"body":"My Mercy Me started playing."},{"startTime":1021.32,"endTime":1023.722,"body":"And it's truly"},{"startTime":1021.32,"endTime":1023.722,"body":"I mean, I get chills, right?"},{"startTime":1023.722,"endTime":1026.692,"body":"It was like the most evident,"},{"startTime":1026.725,"endTime":1029.661,"body":"palpable"},{"startTime":1026.725,"endTime":1029.661,"body":"feeling of Paul's on his way to heaven."},{"startTime":1029.661,"endTime":1031.663,"body":"And he's here and wants us to know."},{"startTime":1031.663,"endTime":1036.068,"body":"And my sister, two of my sisters"},{"startTime":1031.663,"endTime":1036.068,"body":"in law, were in the house at the time,"},{"startTime":1036.068,"endTime":1037.803,"body":"and so they were able to experience it"},{"startTime":1036.068,"endTime":1037.803,"body":"with us."},{"startTime":1037.803,"endTime":1040.105,"body":"And it was, yeah, it's just one of those."},{"startTime":1040.105,"endTime":1042.541,"body":"So powerful if."},{"startTime":1040.105,"endTime":1042.541,"body":"You can't explain it. Well."},{"startTime":1042.541,"endTime":1045.544,"body":"And for Dylan to have the presence of mind"},{"startTime":1046.011,"endTime":1048.58,"body":"in the light of that circumstance,"},{"startTime":1048.58,"endTime":1051.717,"body":"to ask to hear that song and,"},{"startTime":1052.451,"endTime":1055.22,"body":"and the, the title of it and the lyrics,"},{"startTime":1055.22,"endTime":1059.558,"body":"I mean,"},{"startTime":1055.22,"endTime":1059.558,"body":"my gosh, that well, it's it's a it's a"},{"startTime":1060.592,"endTime":1061.593,"body":"it's a painful moment."},{"startTime":1061.593,"endTime":1064.329,"body":"It's that and an oh,"},{"startTime":1061.593,"endTime":1064.329,"body":"and I there's no other word for it."},{"startTime":1064.329,"endTime":1067.332,"body":"It's a tragedy. It is."},{"startTime":1067.332,"endTime":1069.802,"body":"But you have,"},{"startTime":1069.802,"endTime":1073.672,"body":"like you said, with the power of the"},{"startTime":1069.802,"endTime":1073.672,"body":"Holy Spirit and the protection of that,"},{"startTime":1073.672,"endTime":1077.242,"body":"you have decided"},{"startTime":1073.672,"endTime":1077.242,"body":"that you're going to help others."},{"startTime":1077.81,"endTime":1081.38,"body":"And how did how did that all come about?"},{"startTime":1081.38,"endTime":1084.616,"body":"Like, how did you you're grieving"},{"startTime":1081.38,"endTime":1084.616,"body":"the loss of your husband."},{"startTime":1084.616,"endTime":1086.718,"body":"You're raising two young children."},{"startTime":1086.718,"endTime":1091.09,"body":"And how did you lean into your faith"},{"startTime":1086.718,"endTime":1091.09,"body":"and find the strength to do that?"},{"startTime":1092.458,"endTime":1093.692,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1093.692,"endTime":1095.961,"body":"So a few things on it."},{"startTime":1095.961,"endTime":1098.931,"body":"Part of the sort of the social media"},{"startTime":1095.961,"endTime":1098.931,"body":"sharing and it was very organic,"},{"startTime":1099.531,"endTime":1102.367,"body":"was very natural for me in general"},{"startTime":1099.531,"endTime":1102.367,"body":"that I like to share,"},{"startTime":1102.367,"endTime":1105.337,"body":"you know, just stuff on social media,"},{"startTime":1102.367,"endTime":1105.337,"body":"a family, etc.."},{"startTime":1105.337,"endTime":1109.274,"body":"And then Paul's"},{"startTime":1105.337,"endTime":1109.274,"body":"the story of Paul's passing did"},{"startTime":1109.274,"endTime":1111.61,"body":"get some national media coverage."},{"startTime":1111.61,"endTime":1112.311,"body":"I always like to say"},{"startTime":1112.311,"endTime":1115.28,"body":"that he would have said, Man,"},{"startTime":1112.311,"endTime":1115.28,"body":"it was in a slow Newsweek if I was."},{"startTime":1115.681,"endTime":1120.586,"body":"So I knew that the he was for a variety"},{"startTime":1115.681,"endTime":1120.586,"body":"of reasons, the way I have."},{"startTime":1120.819,"endTime":1122.888,"body":"I have family that works in media."},{"startTime":1122.888,"endTime":1125.624,"body":"So they always try to like explain"},{"startTime":1122.888,"endTime":1125.624,"body":"how it probably got picked up. But"},{"startTime":1126.859,"endTime":1128.06,"body":"his story got picked up."},{"startTime":1128.06,"endTime":1133.966,"body":"It was on ABC, even evening news,"},{"startTime":1128.06,"endTime":1133.966,"body":"People.com, things like that."},{"startTime":1133.966,"endTime":1139.171,"body":"In a lot of those in things like people"},{"startTime":1133.966,"endTime":1139.171,"body":"it referenced my"},{"startTime":1139.171,"endTime":1142.741,"body":"I you know sort of just shared to my"},{"startTime":1139.171,"endTime":1142.741,"body":"at that point"},{"startTime":1142.808,"endTime":1147.312,"body":"a close network of family of friends"},{"startTime":1142.808,"endTime":1147.312,"body":"that poured past and so sort of organic"},{"startTime":1148.947,"endTime":1151.55,"body":"and then I just really"},{"startTime":1151.55,"endTime":1154.686,"body":"I always say it's not that there's"},{"startTime":1151.55,"endTime":1154.686,"body":"no thought that goes into it."},{"startTime":1154.82,"endTime":1159.224,"body":"There's obviously thought,"},{"startTime":1154.82,"endTime":1159.224,"body":"but it's really just what naturally is on"},{"startTime":1159.224,"endTime":1160.626,"body":"my mind is in the process"},{"startTime":1160.626,"endTime":1164.429,"body":"that the things I've experienced"},{"startTime":1160.626,"endTime":1164.429,"body":"and just have chosen to keep sharing."},{"startTime":1164.763,"endTime":1169.535,"body":"It's been really powerful"},{"startTime":1164.763,"endTime":1169.535,"body":"that to recognize"},{"startTime":1169.568,"endTime":1174.206,"body":"in a fruitful way"},{"startTime":1169.568,"endTime":1174.206,"body":"that I mean everyone experiences loss."},{"startTime":1174.94,"endTime":1178.043,"body":"I would say I had no idea how many widows"},{"startTime":1174.94,"endTime":1178.043,"body":"and widowers in their thirties"},{"startTime":1178.043,"endTime":1180.279,"body":"and forties there are out there that"},{"startTime":1181.313,"endTime":1183.515,"body":"every day it's"},{"startTime":1183.515,"endTime":1185.551,"body":"yeah it's it's I think it's being able to"},{"startTime":1183.515,"endTime":1185.551,"body":"wherever"},{"startTime":1185.551,"endTime":1189.121,"body":"anyone is in a lost journey"},{"startTime":1185.551,"endTime":1189.121,"body":"or whether they're close into it"},{"startTime":1189.121,"endTime":1192.591,"body":"or friends of somebody"},{"startTime":1189.121,"endTime":1192.591,"body":"that's lost a partner, a spouse that"},{"startTime":1195.294,"endTime":1196.461,"body":"it's helpful to me to share"},{"startTime":1196.461,"endTime":1199.431,"body":"and then it's, you know, helpful"},{"startTime":1196.461,"endTime":1199.431,"body":"to know it's helpful to other people."},{"startTime":1199.531,"endTime":1203.769,"body":"Is it so you said that it is helpful to"},{"startTime":1199.531,"endTime":1203.769,"body":"you is so in a way and"},{"startTime":1204.469,"endTime":1208.74,"body":"I'm not a therapist, but is it therapeutic"},{"startTime":1204.469,"endTime":1208.74,"body":"in a way to to share that?"},{"startTime":1208.74,"endTime":1210.209,"body":"Wow. Okay."},{"startTime":1210.209,"endTime":1212.945,"body":"That putting it out in a different"},{"startTime":1212.945,"endTime":1214.58,"body":"I mean, I so I go to therapy all the time."},{"startTime":1214.58,"endTime":1217.583,"body":"I'm so close family and friends"},{"startTime":1214.58,"endTime":1217.583,"body":"I talk to about things but it is."},{"startTime":1217.816,"endTime":1221.453,"body":"Yeah, just different sort of method"},{"startTime":1217.816,"endTime":1221.453,"body":"of sharing that's helpful for me."},{"startTime":1221.453,"endTime":1222.321,"body":"Good."},{"startTime":1222.321,"endTime":1224.723,"body":"And I would think and, you know, I mean,"},{"startTime":1224.723,"endTime":1229.061,"body":"I can't even put myself in your shoes,"},{"startTime":1224.723,"endTime":1229.061,"body":"but I would think that the"},{"startTime":1229.795,"endTime":1233.332,"body":"the love that you and Paul had"},{"startTime":1229.795,"endTime":1233.332,"body":"and the love"},{"startTime":1233.332,"endTime":1236.802,"body":"that he had for you and the girls is kind"},{"startTime":1233.332,"endTime":1236.802,"body":"of the foundation of this."},{"startTime":1237.302,"endTime":1240.439,"body":"And I guess you just have to trust"},{"startTime":1237.302,"endTime":1240.439,"body":"God's plan."},{"startTime":1240.439,"endTime":1243.342,"body":"Is that kind of how you go day to day?"},{"startTime":1244.71,"endTime":1247.646,"body":"Yeah, I always say I don't"},{"startTime":1247.646,"endTime":1250.582,"body":"I don't like to think"},{"startTime":1247.646,"endTime":1250.582,"body":"that Paul passing away was in God's plan,"},{"startTime":1250.582,"endTime":1252.484,"body":"but obviously we're in a earthly world."},{"startTime":1252.484,"endTime":1255.487,"body":"We don't know exactly. But the"},{"startTime":1255.921,"endTime":1259.258,"body":"I am confident in there's so many."},{"startTime":1259.258,"endTime":1261.727,"body":"I was just saying that"},{"startTime":1261.727,"endTime":1263.996,"body":"this week to somebody about was like,"},{"startTime":1261.727,"endTime":1263.996,"body":"I don't know why part"},{"startTime":1263.996,"endTime":1267.432,"body":"I would have ever had this conversation"},{"startTime":1263.996,"endTime":1267.432,"body":"when the girls were two and four about"},{"startTime":1268.533,"endTime":1270.569,"body":"whatever it was."},{"startTime":1270.569,"endTime":1274.406,"body":"And but we really had this beautiful"},{"startTime":1274.673,"endTime":1276.642,"body":"foundation of a relationship"},{"startTime":1274.673,"endTime":1276.642,"body":"and had a had."},{"startTime":1276.642,"endTime":1279.978,"body":"So I love planning and vision setting"},{"startTime":1276.642,"endTime":1279.978,"body":"and all those types of things."},{"startTime":1279.978,"endTime":1284.182,"body":"And so we'd had a lot of conversations"},{"startTime":1279.978,"endTime":1284.182,"body":"about what would our family look like"},{"startTime":1284.75,"endTime":1288.32,"body":"five years, ten years, what did we want to"},{"startTime":1284.75,"endTime":1288.32,"body":"do, where would we want to retire?"},{"startTime":1288.387,"endTime":1289.855,"body":"Kind of trips? Would we want to take?"},{"startTime":1290.889,"endTime":1291.456,"body":"One small"},{"startTime":1291.456,"endTime":1295.127,"body":"example is in the summer of 23"},{"startTime":1291.456,"endTime":1295.127,"body":"we had planned,"},{"startTime":1295.427,"endTime":1298.43,"body":"so that would have been eight"},{"startTime":1295.427,"endTime":1298.43,"body":"this past summer."},{"startTime":1299.665,"endTime":1301.8,"body":"To live in London for a month."},{"startTime":1301.8,"endTime":1304.936,"body":"Didn't do it, obviously, sort of"},{"startTime":1301.8,"endTime":1304.936,"body":"within year one of everything happening."},{"startTime":1304.936,"endTime":1307.272,"body":"But the girls are going this summer."},{"startTime":1307.272,"endTime":1310.609,"body":"And so it's just things that again"},{"startTime":1307.272,"endTime":1310.609,"body":"yeah, we're"},{"startTime":1310.609,"endTime":1313.612,"body":"just I know"},{"startTime":1313.679,"endTime":1316.882,"body":"you know, with the most confidence"},{"startTime":1313.679,"endTime":1316.882,"body":"that Paul wants us"},{"startTime":1316.882,"endTime":1320.886,"body":"to continue living and it's"},{"startTime":1316.882,"endTime":1320.886,"body":"going to be different and it is different."},{"startTime":1320.886,"endTime":1324.623,"body":"But he would be very mad at me"},{"startTime":1320.886,"endTime":1324.623,"body":"if I was, you know,"},{"startTime":1324.623,"endTime":1327.759,"body":"not being myself and not doing the stuff"},{"startTime":1324.623,"endTime":1327.759,"body":"that he loved about me."},{"startTime":1327.759,"endTime":1328.427,"body":"And I don't."},{"startTime":1328.427,"endTime":1331.263,"body":"Think he could ever be mad with you,"},{"startTime":1328.427,"endTime":1331.263,"body":"but I do."},{"startTime":1331.263,"endTime":1334.8,"body":"So when you have, like you said,"},{"startTime":1331.263,"endTime":1334.8,"body":"like when you have the life"},{"startTime":1334.8,"endTime":1339.004,"body":"that might have been versus"},{"startTime":1334.8,"endTime":1339.004,"body":"the life you're living now, so"},{"startTime":1341.173,"endTime":1342.04,"body":"you know that."},{"startTime":1342.04,"endTime":1344.343,"body":"How do you how do you"},{"startTime":1344.343,"endTime":1345.944,"body":"what is your family?"},{"startTime":1345.944,"endTime":1348.013,"body":"You know, what are your family mean now?"},{"startTime":1348.013,"endTime":1349.614,"body":"What is your extended family mean?"},{"startTime":1349.614,"endTime":1351.717,"body":"How do they your friends support you?"},{"startTime":1351.717,"endTime":1354.72,"body":"What what what are the"},{"startTime":1351.717,"endTime":1354.72,"body":"what does that look like?"},{"startTime":1354.82,"endTime":1356.722,"body":"Yeah, there's a few things"},{"startTime":1354.82,"endTime":1356.722,"body":"I think that come to mind."},{"startTime":1356.722,"endTime":1359.691,"body":"One is that I, I"},{"startTime":1360.892,"endTime":1362.928,"body":"try to."},{"startTime":1362.928,"endTime":1367.399,"body":"I think the girls deserve a family"},{"startTime":1362.928,"endTime":1367.399,"body":"and to not have it."},{"startTime":1367.833,"endTime":1370.802,"body":"And so even things that at first"},{"startTime":1367.833,"endTime":1370.802,"body":"were even hard for me of"},{"startTime":1371.97,"endTime":1372.838,"body":"you know that."},{"startTime":1372.838,"endTime":1376.007,"body":"But like we are a family we're not just"},{"startTime":1372.838,"endTime":1376.007,"body":"the three like we're is really"},{"startTime":1377.876,"endTime":1381.213,"body":"doing as much as I can to set them up"},{"startTime":1377.876,"endTime":1381.213,"body":"with the life experience and the"},{"startTime":1381.513,"endTime":1384.416,"body":"that we can't change what's happened"},{"startTime":1381.513,"endTime":1384.416,"body":"and we can't bring Paul back."},{"startTime":1384.416,"endTime":1386.651,"body":"But what can we do to still"},{"startTime":1386.651,"endTime":1389.788,"body":"have them be, you know, experience"},{"startTime":1386.651,"endTime":1389.788,"body":"the best life they can experience."},{"startTime":1391.089,"endTime":1391.456,"body":"So it's"},{"startTime":1391.456,"endTime":1394.593,"body":"I'd I'd say it it is changes all the time."},{"startTime":1394.593,"endTime":1399.431,"body":"I try to be, you know, transparent"},{"startTime":1394.593,"endTime":1399.431,"body":"and of what I need from people,"},{"startTime":1399.431,"endTime":1402.434,"body":"what what's helpful, what's not helpful."},{"startTime":1402.667,"endTime":1406.905,"body":"But a lot of it we still"},{"startTime":1402.667,"endTime":1406.905,"body":"I mean we're just 21 months in that"},{"startTime":1408.073,"endTime":1408.74,"body":"we just don't know."},{"startTime":1408.74,"endTime":1410.942,"body":"We don't know at any given time,"},{"startTime":1408.74,"endTime":1410.942,"body":"you know, where."},{"startTime":1410.942,"endTime":1413.445,"body":"And so it's also been"},{"startTime":1413.445,"endTime":1417.916,"body":"having the right people"},{"startTime":1413.445,"endTime":1417.916,"body":"sort of in your day to day"},{"startTime":1417.916,"endTime":1421.119,"body":"court that can just meet you where you are"},{"startTime":1417.916,"endTime":1421.119,"body":"and be open to it, and"},{"startTime":1422.354,"endTime":1425.09,"body":"which I've been blessed,"},{"startTime":1422.354,"endTime":1425.09,"body":"really have the right, wonderful family,"},{"startTime":1425.09,"endTime":1428.26,"body":"but also some very, very close friends"},{"startTime":1425.09,"endTime":1428.26,"body":"that are there for me always."},{"startTime":1428.293,"endTime":1428.827,"body":"Well."},{"startTime":1428.827,"endTime":1432.931,"body":"That's good to know, because oftentimes"},{"startTime":1428.827,"endTime":1432.931,"body":"people can be experts on other's lives."},{"startTime":1433.365,"endTime":1436.802,"body":"And I'm sure when you go through a tragedy"},{"startTime":1433.365,"endTime":1436.802,"body":"like this, others"},{"startTime":1437.302,"endTime":1443.508,"body":"may not be as respectful or diplomatic"},{"startTime":1437.302,"endTime":1443.508,"body":"in their, you know, voicing of opinions."},{"startTime":1443.508,"endTime":1446.678,"body":"It sounds like that's not the case"},{"startTime":1443.508,"endTime":1446.678,"body":"for you, which is great."},{"startTime":1446.745,"endTime":1450.982,"body":"Now, I have put"},{"startTime":1446.745,"endTime":1450.982,"body":"it's been yeah, truly has not."},{"startTime":1450.982,"endTime":1453.518,"body":"But something I've had to really deal"},{"startTime":1450.982,"endTime":1453.518,"body":"with, which is in great"},{"startTime":1453.518,"endTime":1457.989,"body":"and even in choosing to sort of share"},{"startTime":1453.518,"endTime":1457.989,"body":"our lives, parts of our lives publicly,"},{"startTime":1459.724,"endTime":1460.225,"body":"similarly there's"},{"startTime":1460.225,"endTime":1463.228,"body":"very, very people are always like,"},{"startTime":1460.225,"endTime":1463.228,"body":"Oh my gosh, you must get so many comments."},{"startTime":1463.328,"endTime":1466.465,"body":"And it's like,"},{"startTime":1463.328,"endTime":1466.465,"body":"Knock on wood or degree, but"},{"startTime":1466.665,"endTime":1469.668,"body":"it's just been a very positive experience."},{"startTime":1470.268,"endTime":1472.904,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":1470.268,"endTime":1472.904,"body":"I think one of the things that, you know,"},{"startTime":1472.904,"endTime":1477.542,"body":"and that I think this is a testimony"},{"startTime":1472.904,"endTime":1477.542,"body":"to your love and and for Paul"},{"startTime":1477.542,"endTime":1481.413,"body":"and in the family was what Sloane said."},{"startTime":1481.413,"endTime":1483.582,"body":"I think it was slowing where she was."},{"startTime":1483.582,"endTime":1486.852,"body":"I think she was she praying or was she"},{"startTime":1483.582,"endTime":1486.852,"body":"how did this happen,"},{"startTime":1486.852,"endTime":1491.723,"body":"where she talked about the family and"},{"startTime":1486.852,"endTime":1491.723,"body":"and it was Frankie, your dog,"},{"startTime":1492.924,"endTime":1495.126,"body":"Dylan, her sister, You"},{"startTime":1495.126,"endTime":1497.696,"body":"mom or mom, Dad and Jesus."},{"startTime":1497.696,"endTime":1501.333,"body":"I mean, how does how does a five"},{"startTime":1497.696,"endTime":1501.333,"body":"or six year old come up with that?"},{"startTime":1501.833,"endTime":1503.702,"body":"Well, it's because of you and Paul."},{"startTime":1504.769,"endTime":1505.136,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1505.136,"endTime":1508.139,"body":"Now the girls have very true."},{"startTime":1508.907,"endTime":1511.91,"body":"I talk to this a lot, just sort of this"},{"startTime":1508.907,"endTime":1511.91,"body":"these beautiful things actually"},{"startTime":1512.043,"endTime":1512.644,"body":"fairly different."},{"startTime":1512.644,"endTime":1513.245,"body":"Even Paul and I."},{"startTime":1513.245,"endTime":1516.448,"body":"Steve, Life was different as well"},{"startTime":1513.245,"endTime":1516.448,"body":"in terms of what we, you know, how"},{"startTime":1516.448,"endTime":1518.45,"body":"well we outwardly practiced"},{"startTime":1516.448,"endTime":1518.45,"body":"and things like that."},{"startTime":1518.45,"endTime":1523.722,"body":"But we, the girls are so in"},{"startTime":1518.45,"endTime":1523.722,"body":"such a beautiful way, black and white on."},{"startTime":1523.722,"endTime":1526.825,"body":"That's an even"},{"startTime":1523.722,"endTime":1526.825,"body":"and there's no question on it"},{"startTime":1526.825,"endTime":1531.596,"body":"there's that is I'd say anything"},{"startTime":1526.825,"endTime":1531.596,"body":"where I do I am sort of sometimes"},{"startTime":1532.197,"endTime":1535.367,"body":"proactively more protective is"},{"startTime":1532.197,"endTime":1535.367,"body":"if they are going to therapy"},{"startTime":1535.367,"endTime":1536.535,"body":"or teachers or things like that."},{"startTime":1536.535,"endTime":1538.503,"body":"It's just making sure"},{"startTime":1536.535,"endTime":1538.503,"body":"we're all on the same page."},{"startTime":1538.503,"endTime":1542.607,"body":"No one can argue with them about where"},{"startTime":1538.503,"endTime":1542.607,"body":"Dad is and what that is. The"},{"startTime":1543.909,"endTime":1544.709,"body":"but they Yep."},{"startTime":1544.709,"endTime":1547.712,"body":"Sloan They're just so"},{"startTime":1548.079,"endTime":1552.284,"body":"I guess I just direct in black and white"},{"startTime":1548.079,"endTime":1552.284,"body":"that that's what Jesus, my grandmother,"},{"startTime":1552.284,"endTime":1555.954,"body":"they call it great in the north where they"},{"startTime":1552.284,"endTime":1555.954,"body":"they had St Mary's got up to me"},{"startTime":1556.288,"endTime":1558.456,"body":"a few times before she,"},{"startTime":1556.288,"endTime":1558.456,"body":"she passed away a year before."},{"startTime":1558.456,"endTime":1562.961,"body":"Paul And they're very black and white"},{"startTime":1558.456,"endTime":1562.961,"body":"about dad hanging out with great Nina"},{"startTime":1562.994,"endTime":1565.997,"body":"Dylan just had her first reconciliation"},{"startTime":1566.431,"endTime":1570.168,"body":"about a month ago and she goes,"},{"startTime":1566.431,"endTime":1570.168,"body":"Do you think Dad and Great Nina went to"},{"startTime":1570.201,"endTime":1573.171,"body":"and grabbed her and said,"},{"startTime":1570.201,"endTime":1573.171,"body":"Let's get some popcorn and watch Dylan"},{"startTime":1573.204,"endTime":1575.84,"body":"and so just they're just so it's a he's"},{"startTime":1575.84,"endTime":1579.744,"body":"a he's beautifully present in our lives"},{"startTime":1575.84,"endTime":1579.744,"body":"is the best way to say it."},{"startTime":1579.744,"endTime":1581.98,"body":"Sloan"},{"startTime":1579.744,"endTime":1581.98,"body":"speaks about them in the present tense."},{"startTime":1583.882,"endTime":1585.917,"body":"It catches people off guard a lot,"},{"startTime":1583.882,"endTime":1585.917,"body":"honestly."},{"startTime":1585.917,"endTime":1588.219,"body":"Like where they just."},{"startTime":1588.219,"endTime":1588.954,"body":"Yeah, they don't."},{"startTime":1588.954,"endTime":1590.422,"body":"There's no question that he's in heaven."},{"startTime":1590.422,"endTime":1593.391,"body":"But also witnessing our life on Earth."},{"startTime":1593.458,"endTime":1597.028,"body":"Didn't one of the girls explain to you"},{"startTime":1593.458,"endTime":1597.028,"body":"what she wanted"},{"startTime":1597.028,"endTime":1600.031,"body":"her children to call? Paul"},{"startTime":1600.098,"endTime":1600.932,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1600.932,"endTime":1603.168,"body":"If you had heard the conversation,"},{"startTime":1603.168,"endTime":1604.869,"body":"like if someone had overheard,"},{"startTime":1603.168,"endTime":1604.869,"body":"they would have this."},{"startTime":1604.869,"endTime":1607.339,"body":"By no means thought that"},{"startTime":1607.339,"endTime":1609.374,"body":"Sloane's dad is in heaven"},{"startTime":1607.339,"endTime":1609.374,"body":"like she just said."},{"startTime":1609.374,"endTime":1611.209,"body":"Oh, and, like, when I'm."},{"startTime":1611.209,"endTime":1613.578,"body":"My kids are."},{"startTime":1613.578,"endTime":1616.281,"body":"When I have kids,"},{"startTime":1613.578,"endTime":1616.281,"body":"they're going to call you."},{"startTime":1616.281,"endTime":1619.484,"body":"I forget where she even told me to call me"},{"startTime":1616.281,"endTime":1619.484,"body":"and then Dad, Grandpa."},{"startTime":1619.484,"endTime":1623.088,"body":"But you know, it wasn't"},{"startTime":1619.484,"endTime":1623.088,"body":"even is a so obvious or that of course,"},{"startTime":1623.088,"endTime":1626.625,"body":"her kids are going to wow, Dad, he's"},{"startTime":1623.088,"endTime":1626.625,"body":"going to be a part of our lives."},{"startTime":1626.625,"endTime":1629.628,"body":"And is that just, you know, stuff"},{"startTime":1626.625,"endTime":1629.628,"body":"that it's."},{"startTime":1629.694,"endTime":1633.098,"body":"Yeah, definitely,"},{"startTime":1629.694,"endTime":1633.098,"body":"you know, painful but beautiful."},{"startTime":1633.098,"endTime":1633.465,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1633.465,"endTime":1638.87,"body":"How did so you know in in again"},{"startTime":1633.465,"endTime":1638.87,"body":"if if you're willing to share this but"},{"startTime":1639.337,"endTime":1643.108,"body":"what kind of daily practices"},{"startTime":1639.337,"endTime":1643.108,"body":"do you employ to kind of help"},{"startTime":1643.108,"endTime":1646.711,"body":"you each day and and do what you're doing"},{"startTime":1647.646,"endTime":1650.415,"body":"when you're running a business,"},{"startTime":1647.646,"endTime":1650.415,"body":"you're a parent, you're, you know."},{"startTime":1650.415,"endTime":1653.451,"body":"Yeah, definitely a lot going on"},{"startTime":1650.415,"endTime":1653.451,"body":"because it's helps me also just keep"},{"startTime":1653.451,"endTime":1654.319,"body":"going in general."},{"startTime":1655.52,"endTime":1657.288,"body":"So again"},{"startTime":1657.288,"endTime":1659.524,"body":"so thankful I had a"},{"startTime":1659.524,"endTime":1662.661,"body":"have always been up with a strong faith"},{"startTime":1659.524,"endTime":1662.661,"body":"grew up in the Catholic Church,"},{"startTime":1662.661,"endTime":1666.531,"body":"had a pretty substantial sort of faith"},{"startTime":1662.661,"endTime":1666.531,"body":"formation about high school in college"},{"startTime":1666.531,"endTime":1669.868,"body":"or just been really active"},{"startTime":1666.531,"endTime":1669.868,"body":"in a lot of different ministries"},{"startTime":1671.002,"endTime":1674.005,"body":"and developed a pretty"},{"startTime":1674.572,"endTime":1676.307,"body":"just a"},{"startTime":1676.307,"endTime":1678.61,"body":"commitment to prayer"},{"startTime":1676.307,"endTime":1678.61,"body":"gives me the best way to say it."},{"startTime":1678.61,"endTime":1681.479,"body":"And so"},{"startTime":1681.479,"endTime":1683.214,"body":"having that foundation"},{"startTime":1681.479,"endTime":1683.214,"body":"and already been sort of"},{"startTime":1683.214,"endTime":1686.418,"body":"part of our lives was again, great"},{"startTime":1683.214,"endTime":1686.418,"body":"because it's not like we went."},{"startTime":1686.484,"endTime":1689.421,"body":"It's just as continue to have deeper"},{"startTime":1686.484,"endTime":1689.421,"body":"meaning, deeper"},{"startTime":1689.421,"endTime":1692.424,"body":"meaning or different"},{"startTime":1689.421,"endTime":1692.424,"body":"meaning in this chapter."},{"startTime":1693.124,"endTime":1696.127,"body":"But I guess to answer your question, it's"},{"startTime":1696.261,"endTime":1699.23,"body":"constant"},{"startTime":1696.261,"endTime":1699.23,"body":"sort of conversation of prayer with"},{"startTime":1699.698,"endTime":1702.701,"body":"whoever"},{"startTime":1699.698,"endTime":1702.701,"body":"it is deciding to speak to at that point"},{"startTime":1702.934,"endTime":1708.606,"body":"and then try to There's a few devotionals"},{"startTime":1702.934,"endTime":1708.606,"body":"that I'm pretty consistent with"},{"startTime":1708.606,"endTime":1711.776,"body":"that are just helpful to sort of"},{"startTime":1708.606,"endTime":1711.776,"body":"like reframe and reset at different times."},{"startTime":1711.776,"endTime":1714.546,"body":"And then obviously the practice"},{"startTime":1711.776,"endTime":1714.546,"body":"of going to mass."},{"startTime":1714.546,"endTime":1716.347,"body":"My parents go to daily mass."},{"startTime":1716.347,"endTime":1718.383,"body":"I sometimes try to join them, try to"},{"startTime":1719.684,"endTime":1722.253,"body":"yeah, it's like a lot of a continuation."},{"startTime":1722.253,"endTime":1725.623,"body":"And just like I sort of this quarter"},{"startTime":1722.253,"endTime":1725.623,"body":"I the time that everything's the same,"},{"startTime":1725.623,"endTime":1728.626,"body":"but everything's different"},{"startTime":1725.623,"endTime":1728.626,"body":"and that's a lot of it as well."},{"startTime":1729.427,"endTime":1730.962,"body":"Do you still talk to Paul?"},{"startTime":1730.962,"endTime":1733.531,"body":"I mean, all the time for sure. Oh, sorry."},{"startTime":1733.531,"endTime":1735.033,"body":"That's great."},{"startTime":1735.033,"endTime":1737.302,"body":"And I know a lot of our"},{"startTime":1737.302,"endTime":1738.737,"body":"it's always fun, that fun."},{"startTime":1738.737,"endTime":1740.872,"body":"But the of family and friends"},{"startTime":1740.872,"endTime":1743.875,"body":"that will tell me different things"},{"startTime":1740.872,"endTime":1743.875,"body":"or even sometimes where"},{"startTime":1744.209,"endTime":1747.212,"body":"people that as I say,"},{"startTime":1744.209,"endTime":1747.212,"body":"knew us together well"},{"startTime":1747.212,"endTime":1750.882,"body":"and the sort of love but also you know"},{"startTime":1751.216,"endTime":1754.753,"body":"I rolls he would have with me sometimes"},{"startTime":1751.216,"endTime":1754.753,"body":"of my antics that if you were like, Oh,"},{"startTime":1754.753,"endTime":1758.389,"body":"I got Paul's for sure I can talk about"},{"startTime":1754.753,"endTime":1758.389,"body":"right out rolling his eyes at you."},{"startTime":1759.29,"endTime":1759.991,"body":"I'm sure."},{"startTime":1759.991,"endTime":1762.994,"body":"Yes, that's what"},{"startTime":1759.991,"endTime":1762.994,"body":"that's what I was worried about."},{"startTime":1763.595,"endTime":1765.196,"body":"But anyway,"},{"startTime":1766.364,"endTime":1769.3,"body":"so do you see Paul and the girls?"},{"startTime":1769.3,"endTime":1772.137,"body":"Oh, my gosh. Yes,"},{"startTime":1772.137,"endTime":1772.804,"body":"I do."},{"startTime":1772.804,"endTime":1775.94,"body":"There's mannerisms. There's. That's."},{"startTime":1776.407,"endTime":1778.71,"body":"Yes, there"},{"startTime":1778.71,"endTime":1780.345,"body":"they are."},{"startTime":1780.345,"endTime":1783.815,"body":"They they're both obviously"},{"startTime":1780.345,"endTime":1783.815,"body":"beautiful, strong girls. And"},{"startTime":1784.849,"endTime":1786.151,"body":"I will definitely see him."},{"startTime":1786.151,"endTime":1788.353,"body":"Always and will always answer questions"},{"startTime":1786.151,"endTime":1788.353,"body":"because."},{"startTime":1788.353,"endTime":1790.155,"body":"So Paul is six, seven, five, six."},{"startTime":1790.155,"endTime":1794.959,"body":"And the girls are definitely going to be"},{"startTime":1790.155,"endTime":1794.959,"body":"have will have his height in."},{"startTime":1794.959,"endTime":1796.761,"body":"So let's see that"},{"startTime":1794.959,"endTime":1796.761,"body":"the go is like a three of us"},{"startTime":1796.761,"endTime":1799.731,"body":"walking around one day and be like"},{"startTime":1796.761,"endTime":1799.731,"body":"why did this come about?"},{"startTime":1799.731,"endTime":1803.301,"body":"So you know that lie was alive"},{"startTime":1799.731,"endTime":1803.301,"body":"and well in in our lives but"},{"startTime":1804.669,"endTime":1806.604,"body":"definitely within the girls as well."},{"startTime":1806.604,"endTime":1809.107,"body":"Well, they are going to be"},{"startTime":1806.604,"endTime":1809.107,"body":"taller than you, that's for sure."},{"startTime":1809.107,"endTime":1812.11,"body":"Yeah. Before I."},{"startTime":1812.21,"endTime":1812.443,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1812.443,"endTime":1815.98,"body":"You posted that the other day"},{"startTime":1812.443,"endTime":1815.98,"body":"and it was like good lord, they're there."},{"startTime":1815.98,"endTime":1820.118,"body":"They are almost, you know,"},{"startTime":1815.98,"endTime":1820.118,"body":"not quite eye to I, but that's great."},{"startTime":1820.118,"endTime":1823.454,"body":"Well,"},{"startTime":1820.118,"endTime":1823.454,"body":"but one of the things that I've noticed is"},{"startTime":1824.389,"endTime":1827.292,"body":"and you and Paul were blessed"},{"startTime":1824.389,"endTime":1827.292,"body":"that in the sense of"},{"startTime":1827.292,"endTime":1829.06,"body":"you didn't take any moment for granted."},{"startTime":1829.06,"endTime":1832.03,"body":"And I think you alluded to that"},{"startTime":1829.06,"endTime":1832.03,"body":"when you were out for margaritas"},{"startTime":1832.03,"endTime":1835.934,"body":"the couple of nights before in those"},{"startTime":1832.03,"endTime":1835.934,"body":"you cherished all of those moments."},{"startTime":1837.735,"endTime":1841.539,"body":"And what what advice can you give to"},{"startTime":1837.735,"endTime":1841.539,"body":"others like,"},{"startTime":1841.806,"endTime":1846.344,"body":"you know, that are kind of"},{"startTime":1841.806,"endTime":1846.344,"body":"just going through the day, marking time?"},{"startTime":1846.611,"endTime":1847.579,"body":"Yeah, no, definitely."},{"startTime":1847.579,"endTime":1849.681,"body":"I was going to say that"},{"startTime":1849.681,"endTime":1852.383,"body":"there's this"},{"startTime":1849.681,"endTime":1852.383,"body":"I talk a lot about sort of this commitment"},{"startTime":1852.383,"endTime":1855.62,"body":"to living, and it's not just because"},{"startTime":1852.383,"endTime":1855.62,"body":"of everything that happens."},{"startTime":1855.62,"endTime":1858.156,"body":"We had that before"},{"startTime":1858.156,"endTime":1860.758,"body":"the it was just this"},{"startTime":1860.758,"endTime":1864.429,"body":"truly, I mean, sort of unique part of Paul"},{"startTime":1860.758,"endTime":1864.429,"body":"especially."},{"startTime":1864.429,"endTime":1868.433,"body":"I'd say in our when we sort of hit"},{"startTime":1864.429,"endTime":1868.433,"body":"our stride and as we became parents"},{"startTime":1868.433,"endTime":1871.436,"body":"and in careers is that"},{"startTime":1871.903,"endTime":1874.105,"body":"we shouldn't"},{"startTime":1871.903,"endTime":1874.105,"body":"be waiting for certain things."},{"startTime":1874.105,"endTime":1878.543,"body":"I he would love to enjoy life, love to,"},{"startTime":1878.91,"endTime":1880.645,"body":"you know, tend to other friends"},{"startTime":1878.91,"endTime":1880.645,"body":"and family."},{"startTime":1880.645,"endTime":1882.847,"body":"At one point I was like,"},{"startTime":1880.645,"endTime":1882.847,"body":"we probably should figure out"},{"startTime":1882.847,"endTime":1884.048,"body":"how many rounds of golf he played."},{"startTime":1884.048,"endTime":1887.685,"body":"And 12 months before he passed,"},{"startTime":1884.048,"endTime":1887.685,"body":"he never said no to a round of golf."},{"startTime":1887.685,"endTime":1890.021,"body":"He never said no to have I,"},{"startTime":1890.021,"endTime":1892.79,"body":"you know, had time to go out to lunch,"},{"startTime":1890.021,"endTime":1892.79,"body":"to out to lunch to Justin. So"},{"startTime":1894.626,"endTime":1897.428,"body":"I think what I always is just to,"},{"startTime":1897.428,"endTime":1900.665,"body":"you know, not even the cliche of like"},{"startTime":1897.428,"endTime":1900.665,"body":"you never know what can happen tomorrow"},{"startTime":1900.665,"endTime":1903.768,"body":"but just want is enjoy who you're with,"},{"startTime":1900.665,"endTime":1903.768,"body":"what you're doing."},{"startTime":1903.768,"endTime":1908.273,"body":"If you have the ability to impact"},{"startTime":1903.768,"endTime":1908.273,"body":"to do that in your work, in your,"},{"startTime":1908.773,"endTime":1911.142,"body":"you know, friends family."},{"startTime":1911.142,"endTime":1914.445,"body":"I've become even continuing to learn"},{"startTime":1911.142,"endTime":1914.445,"body":"that Paul"},{"startTime":1914.445,"endTime":1918.516,"body":"actually had been pushing me even right"},{"startTime":1914.445,"endTime":1918.516,"body":"around the time when he passed away of"},{"startTime":1919.117,"endTime":1921.653,"body":"just being more purposeful"},{"startTime":1919.117,"endTime":1921.653,"body":"with friendships and, you know, not"},{"startTime":1921.653,"endTime":1925.189,"body":"you don't need to be spending time"},{"startTime":1921.653,"endTime":1925.189,"body":"with everybody a little bit more."},{"startTime":1925.189,"endTime":1926.324,"body":"You know, let's spend time with the people"},{"startTime":1926.324,"endTime":1929.327,"body":"that are really filling our cup"},{"startTime":1926.324,"endTime":1929.327,"body":"or filling their cups."},{"startTime":1929.694,"endTime":1931.362,"body":"The head is trying to continue that."},{"startTime":1931.362,"endTime":1935.199,"body":"And then what I try to always"},{"startTime":1931.362,"endTime":1935.199,"body":"remind myself of is this commitment"},{"startTime":1935.199,"endTime":1938.67,"body":"to living here Like we don't we can't go"},{"startTime":1935.199,"endTime":1938.67,"body":"back, we can't change anything."},{"startTime":1938.67,"endTime":1941.739,"body":"So but with the life we have now,"},{"startTime":1938.67,"endTime":1941.739,"body":"let's do the best we can."},{"startTime":1942.54,"endTime":1947.679,"body":"Well, I noticed that one of the things"},{"startTime":1942.54,"endTime":1947.679,"body":"that you are very intentional about in"},{"startTime":1947.712,"endTime":1953.451,"body":"Matt was one of his four was being present"},{"startTime":1947.712,"endTime":1953.451,"body":"with others and your"},{"startTime":1953.451,"endTime":1958.589,"body":"so giving of your time and of your energy"},{"startTime":1953.451,"endTime":1958.589,"body":"that I can see that in your in your life."},{"startTime":1958.589,"endTime":1963.461,"body":"But what choices you kind of wrote"},{"startTime":1958.589,"endTime":1963.461,"body":"wrote about this in your your posts"},{"startTime":1963.795,"endTime":1967.432,"body":"that you make each day"},{"startTime":1963.795,"endTime":1967.432,"body":"like your you choose to be"},{"startTime":1968.8,"endTime":1970.435,"body":"happy choose to be grateful."},{"startTime":1970.435,"endTime":1972.37,"body":"You choose to be loving."},{"startTime":1972.37,"endTime":1975.373,"body":"What how did you draw strength to do that?"},{"startTime":1975.606,"endTime":1979.31,"body":"It's I mean, for sure,"},{"startTime":1975.606,"endTime":1979.31,"body":"faith is where the strength comes from."},{"startTime":1979.31,"endTime":1981.946,"body":"And also"},{"startTime":1981.946,"endTime":1984.315,"body":"and I just can't imagine doing it."},{"startTime":1984.315,"endTime":1987.218,"body":"The other choices, I just"},{"startTime":1987.218,"endTime":1989.721,"body":"you know,"},{"startTime":1987.218,"endTime":1989.721,"body":"part of it is just sort of who who I am."},{"startTime":1989.721,"endTime":1993.458,"body":"Obviously, with Paul's influence"},{"startTime":1989.721,"endTime":1993.458,"body":"and partnership for so long."},{"startTime":1993.458,"endTime":1998.262,"body":"But I just for myself and then especially"},{"startTime":1993.458,"endTime":1998.262,"body":"for the girls, like I just"},{"startTime":1999.03,"endTime":2003.601,"body":"Paul had a thing that sort of you get"},{"startTime":1999.03,"endTime":2003.601,"body":"he had a saying he loved"},{"startTime":2003.901,"endTime":2007.438,"body":"I talk about this in his eulogy"},{"startTime":2003.901,"endTime":2007.438,"body":"that you either get better or worse."},{"startTime":2007.438,"endTime":2008.706,"body":"You never stay the same."},{"startTime":2008.706,"endTime":2011.642,"body":"And he would have things that he would say"},{"startTime":2008.706,"endTime":2011.642,"body":"that are like a classic Paul"},{"startTime":2011.642,"endTime":2013.011,"body":"Duncan quote is,"},{"startTime":2013.011,"endTime":2016.848,"body":"When we were in college, you know,"},{"startTime":2013.011,"endTime":2016.848,"body":"people bus, you were wearing sweat pants."},{"startTime":2016.848,"endTime":2019.117,"body":"And he was like, it takes the same effort"},{"startTime":2016.848,"endTime":2019.117,"body":"to put on a pair of jeans"},{"startTime":2019.117,"endTime":2021.219,"body":"as it does to take out of foot off here,"},{"startTime":2019.117,"endTime":2021.219,"body":"sweat pants like,"},{"startTime":2021.219,"endTime":2024.122,"body":"why do people just put on a pair of jeans"},{"startTime":2021.219,"endTime":2024.122,"body":"the get go into the day?"},{"startTime":2024.122,"endTime":2026.824,"body":"And so just wanting to."},{"startTime":2026.824,"endTime":2027.025,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2027.025,"endTime":2032.83,"body":"Continue that making the choices"},{"startTime":2027.025,"endTime":2032.83,"body":"to get better versus, you know, worse"},{"startTime":2032.83,"endTime":2036.134,"body":"obviously when people are in"},{"startTime":2032.83,"endTime":2036.134,"body":"grief and sadness or is doesn't mean you"},{"startTime":2037.201,"endTime":2037.835,"body":"there is time to"},{"startTime":2037.835,"endTime":2041.072,"body":"grieve and you should grieve"},{"startTime":2037.835,"endTime":2041.072,"body":"and everyone still grieves forever."},{"startTime":2041.072,"endTime":2042.774,"body":"But the"},{"startTime":2042.774,"endTime":2044.909,"body":"yeah just to imagine"},{"startTime":2044.909,"endTime":2047.979,"body":"not choosing that especially for myself"},{"startTime":2047.979,"endTime":2050.782,"body":"but then to set the best example"},{"startTime":2047.979,"endTime":2050.782,"body":"for the girls."},{"startTime":2050.782,"endTime":2051.983,"body":"Well, and I think you said that"},{"startTime":2051.983,"endTime":2055.186,"body":"best in one of your messages,"},{"startTime":2051.983,"endTime":2055.186,"body":"and I'll try to quote it here"},{"startTime":2055.219,"endTime":2060.625,"body":"where you were striving to live a life"},{"startTime":2055.219,"endTime":2060.625,"body":"of love and light with your daughters."},{"startTime":2060.625,"endTime":2063.194,"body":"Each day is hard,"},{"startTime":2060.625,"endTime":2063.194,"body":"but each day is beautiful."},{"startTime":2063.194,"endTime":2066.197,"body":"And I think that's true"},{"startTime":2063.194,"endTime":2066.197,"body":"and that's what you're doing."},{"startTime":2067.965,"endTime":2069.167,"body":"I'm not a professional."},{"startTime":2069.167,"endTime":2071.836,"body":"You're not a professional,"},{"startTime":2069.167,"endTime":2071.836,"body":"but you're living it."},{"startTime":2071.836,"endTime":2075.173,"body":"What advice do you have for families"},{"startTime":2071.836,"endTime":2075.173,"body":"that have suffered loss?"},{"startTime":2075.74,"endTime":2076.774,"body":"You things come to mind."},{"startTime":2076.774,"endTime":2080.812,"body":"One is that to not run from it"},{"startTime":2080.812,"endTime":2083.815,"body":"or try to, you know, work around it."},{"startTime":2083.948,"endTime":2090.254,"body":"One thing I continue to learn"},{"startTime":2083.948,"endTime":2090.254,"body":"and try to do is that when you're going to"},{"startTime":2090.254,"endTime":2094.425,"body":"I, I sort of have this thing I've talked"},{"startTime":2090.254,"endTime":2094.425,"body":"about recently of was something like that."},{"startTime":2095.626,"endTime":2097.061,"body":"We're always going to feel sad."},{"startTime":2097.061,"endTime":2099.397,"body":"Like there's just"},{"startTime":2097.061,"endTime":2099.397,"body":"there's always going to be a void of Paul."},{"startTime":2099.397,"endTime":2102.433,"body":"And so it's like don't in times"},{"startTime":2099.397,"endTime":2102.433,"body":"where I've tried to say,"},{"startTime":2102.433,"endTime":2107.004,"body":"Oh well that'll go away"},{"startTime":2102.433,"endTime":2107.004,"body":"or we'll be able to that'll get it's easy."},{"startTime":2107.004,"endTime":2110.341,"body":"I think it's better just to sort of"},{"startTime":2107.004,"endTime":2110.341,"body":"like work through it and accept the hard"},{"startTime":2110.341,"endTime":2113.344,"body":"and work through the hard."},{"startTime":2113.377,"endTime":2116.38,"body":"The other things I would say that are is"},{"startTime":2116.781,"endTime":2119.55,"body":"to keep it's keeping them alive"},{"startTime":2119.55,"endTime":2122.954,"body":"in the way that it makes sense"},{"startTime":2119.55,"endTime":2122.954,"body":"and is best for you and your family."},{"startTime":2122.954,"endTime":2127.592,"body":"But don't I mean we talk this is I mean,"},{"startTime":2122.954,"endTime":2127.592,"body":"people say it, it hurts whatever hurts."},{"startTime":2127.592,"endTime":2131.596,"body":"Reiterating like say their name, talk"},{"startTime":2127.592,"endTime":2131.596,"body":"about them, talk about the loss"},{"startTime":2131.596,"endTime":2132.396,"body":"and made you laugh."},{"startTime":2132.396,"endTime":2134.932,"body":"Talk about their human stuff"},{"startTime":2132.396,"endTime":2134.932,"body":"that they're also not."},{"startTime":2134.932,"endTime":2138.002,"body":"I always said Paul would not want to"},{"startTime":2134.932,"endTime":2138.002,"body":"be is like perfect thing."},{"startTime":2138.002,"endTime":2140.771,"body":"He was back in"},{"startTime":2138.002,"endTime":2140.771,"body":"remember like that like we all have"},{"startTime":2141.772,"endTime":2144.942,"body":"We joke that's"},{"startTime":2141.772,"endTime":2144.942,"body":"lone talks way too much about his farting"},{"startTime":2144.942,"endTime":2148.079,"body":"that needs to be remembered for that sort"},{"startTime":2144.942,"endTime":2148.079,"body":"of like favorite thing to talk about"},{"startTime":2148.079,"endTime":2151.182,"body":"but like there was"},{"startTime":2148.079,"endTime":2151.182,"body":"let's keep their memories alive"},{"startTime":2151.182,"endTime":2154.719,"body":"and that because that's going to that"},{"startTime":2151.182,"endTime":2154.719,"body":"helps so much then feeling like you're"},{"startTime":2155.086,"endTime":2158.156,"body":"you know, trying to put something in a box"},{"startTime":2155.086,"endTime":2158.156,"body":"and put it on a shelf."},{"startTime":2158.89,"endTime":2162.26,"body":"Yeah, I'm glad you said that"},{"startTime":2158.89,"endTime":2162.26,"body":"about the human humanness of it."},{"startTime":2162.26,"endTime":2165.329,"body":"And you can because we, we have a tin"},{"startTime":2165.93,"endTime":2169.634,"body":"can not I didn't lose a spouse, but,"},{"startTime":2165.93,"endTime":2169.634,"body":"but I did lose a brother."},{"startTime":2170.034,"endTime":2173.037,"body":"And we tend to be very reverent of them."},{"startTime":2173.337,"endTime":2177.308,"body":"And I kind of"},{"startTime":2173.337,"endTime":2177.308,"body":"have to take a step back and."},{"startTime":2177.608,"endTime":2180.444,"body":"Well, you knew who"},{"startTime":2177.608,"endTime":2180.444,"body":"Paul was better than anybody in the world,"},{"startTime":2180.444,"endTime":2181.846,"body":"and I knew who Matt was."},{"startTime":2181.846,"endTime":2184.982,"body":"So he just kind of take it"},{"startTime":2181.846,"endTime":2184.982,"body":"for what it's worth."},{"startTime":2184.982,"endTime":2189.02,"body":"But that is that that's but"},{"startTime":2184.982,"endTime":2189.02,"body":"that makes it fun and makes it real too."},{"startTime":2189.02,"endTime":2190.188,"body":"And you're being true to them."},{"startTime":2191.355,"endTime":2193.457,"body":"So I don't"},{"startTime":2191.355,"endTime":2193.457,"body":"want to take too much of your time."},{"startTime":2193.457,"endTime":2195.426,"body":"I'm sure Dylan and Sloan"},{"startTime":2193.457,"endTime":2195.426,"body":"are going to be getting off."},{"startTime":2195.426,"endTime":2196.661,"body":"Do they take the bus or do they?"},{"startTime":2196.661,"endTime":2199.564,"body":"I don't even got to. After school,"},{"startTime":2196.661,"endTime":2199.564,"body":"but they're also."},{"startTime":2199.564,"endTime":2201.365,"body":"Okay. Yeah, so."},{"startTime":2201.365,"endTime":2205.069,"body":"But kind of, you know, we're getting close"},{"startTime":2201.365,"endTime":2205.069,"body":"to our the end of our time."},{"startTime":2205.069,"endTime":2206.17,"body":"But is there anything else"},{"startTime":2206.17,"endTime":2210.675,"body":"you want to share about Paul"},{"startTime":2206.17,"endTime":2210.675,"body":"or your journey for the listeners here?"},{"startTime":2210.708,"endTime":2210.942,"body":"No, I."},{"startTime":2210.942,"endTime":2213.878,"body":"Appreciate now it's been so good"},{"startTime":2210.942,"endTime":2213.878,"body":"to have this conversation."},{"startTime":2213.878,"endTime":2216.547,"body":"I think for any of the listeners here"},{"startTime":2213.878,"endTime":2216.547,"body":"that whether you've experienced loss or,"},{"startTime":2216.547,"endTime":2219.55,"body":"you know, people is"},{"startTime":2219.65,"endTime":2220.785,"body":"they still"},{"startTime":2220.785,"endTime":2224.855,"body":"sort of talk about"},{"startTime":2220.785,"endTime":2224.855,"body":"have that choice to do your best"},{"startTime":2224.855,"endTime":2228.125,"body":"to, you know, find the pause,"},{"startTime":2224.855,"endTime":2228.125,"body":"find the light in what's there."},{"startTime":2228.125,"endTime":2233.164,"body":"It doesn't mean that some days are,"},{"startTime":2228.125,"endTime":2233.164,"body":"you know, 99% dark, but that"},{"startTime":2234.298,"endTime":2237.635,"body":"this person left a positive impact on you,"},{"startTime":2234.298,"endTime":2237.635,"body":"on your life, on the world."},{"startTime":2237.635,"endTime":2240.871,"body":"And then the most that you can do to sort"},{"startTime":2237.635,"endTime":2240.871,"body":"of bring that forward and continue to"},{"startTime":2241.606,"endTime":2245.843,"body":"the other part is to find what"},{"startTime":2241.606,"endTime":2245.843,"body":"that next version of yourself is."},{"startTime":2245.843,"endTime":2247.812,"body":"I so much of myself is the same."},{"startTime":2247.812,"endTime":2249.447,"body":"So much is completely different."},{"startTime":2249.447,"endTime":2252.817,"body":"And that's been another sort"},{"startTime":2249.447,"endTime":2252.817,"body":"of really helpful"},{"startTime":2253.884,"endTime":2256.887,"body":"recognition and for myself is that"},{"startTime":2257.488,"endTime":2259.59,"body":"I am forever completely changed."},{"startTime":2259.59,"endTime":2263.261,"body":"Having gone through this experience"},{"startTime":2259.59,"endTime":2263.261,"body":"and not having Paul by my side here"},{"startTime":2263.261,"endTime":2265.796,"body":"and that I think it's okay"},{"startTime":2263.261,"endTime":2265.796,"body":"to be a different person."},{"startTime":2265.796,"endTime":2266.931,"body":"Okay, that you might"},{"startTime":2266.931,"endTime":2270.234,"body":"your friendships might change a little bit"},{"startTime":2266.931,"endTime":2270.234,"body":"the way you parent definitely changes"},{"startTime":2270.234,"endTime":2273.738,"body":"the way that how you show up,"},{"startTime":2270.234,"endTime":2273.738,"body":"what you prioritize, all those things."},{"startTime":2273.738,"endTime":2274.972,"body":"And it's not."},{"startTime":2274.972,"endTime":2277.141,"body":"It's sort of like leaning into that."},{"startTime":2277.141,"endTime":2280.778,"body":"This is the"},{"startTime":2277.141,"endTime":2280.778,"body":"this is this next chapter of life for you"},{"startTime":2281.078,"endTime":2284.115,"body":"that you didn't want"},{"startTime":2281.078,"endTime":2284.115,"body":"or would never have asked for, but that"},{"startTime":2284.915,"endTime":2287.952,"body":"you're not trying to make yourself"},{"startTime":2284.915,"endTime":2287.952,"body":"feel like you have to be the same person"},{"startTime":2287.952,"endTime":2289.22,"body":"you were before."},{"startTime":2289.22,"endTime":2290.721,"body":"That's that's great."},{"startTime":2290.721,"endTime":2292.923,"body":"That's beautiful."},{"startTime":2290.721,"endTime":2292.923,"body":"And I know you're doing it."},{"startTime":2294.025,"endTime":2295.96,"body":"Ellen,"},{"startTime":2294.025,"endTime":2295.96,"body":"I can't thank you enough for chatting"},{"startTime":2295.96,"endTime":2299.563,"body":"with us today and for being an inspiration"},{"startTime":2295.96,"endTime":2299.563,"body":"to all the families."},{"startTime":2299.563,"endTime":2303.1,"body":"And they follow you on Instagram"},{"startTime":2299.563,"endTime":2303.1,"body":"and that follow your message"},{"startTime":2303.1,"endTime":2306.103,"body":"of love and hope and your journey."},{"startTime":2306.103,"endTime":2308.472,"body":"Matt was called to his heavenly home"},{"startTime":2306.103,"endTime":2308.472,"body":"as Paul was."},{"startTime":2308.472,"endTime":2312.476,"body":"Well, and I know they're up there"},{"startTime":2308.472,"endTime":2312.476,"body":"looking over us, and I hopefully they're"},{"startTime":2312.71,"endTime":2316.947,"body":"maybe having some popcorn,"},{"startTime":2312.71,"endTime":2316.947,"body":"like Dylan said, and enjoying each"},{"startTime":2316.947,"endTime":2318.783,"body":"other's friendship."},{"startTime":2318.783,"endTime":2320.851,"body":"I'm honored to have you as a guest."},{"startTime":2320.851,"endTime":2323.854,"body":"You know, I always say I don't know what"},{"startTime":2320.851,"endTime":2323.854,"body":"the future holds, but I know who holds it."},{"startTime":2323.854,"endTime":2326.824,"body":"And you're living that for sure."},{"startTime":2326.824,"endTime":2330.494,"body":"Before we close our show today,"},{"startTime":2326.824,"endTime":2330.494,"body":"I want to encourage our listeners"},{"startTime":2330.494,"endTime":2334.899,"body":"to follow Ellen Duncan Pineapple"},{"startTime":2330.494,"endTime":2334.899,"body":"Ellen on Instagram."},{"startTime":2334.899,"endTime":2338.736,"body":"We're going to post that in the show"},{"startTime":2334.899,"endTime":2338.736,"body":"notes, how to, you know,"},{"startTime":2338.736,"endTime":2341.739,"body":"follow that and more information"},{"startTime":2338.736,"endTime":2341.739,"body":"about Ellen."},{"startTime":2342.34,"endTime":2346.277,"body":"Matt always reminded us to do three things"},{"startTime":2342.34,"endTime":2346.277,"body":"each and every day,"},{"startTime":2346.51,"endTime":2350.715,"body":"to live life, to fullest,"},{"startTime":2346.51,"endTime":2350.715,"body":"find something you're grateful for."},{"startTime":2350.715,"endTime":2352.883,"body":"Regardless of how powerful the storm is"},{"startTime":2354.151,"endTime":2357.154,"body":"to be present to those you are with."},{"startTime":2357.421,"endTime":2361.392,"body":"Pay attention to what you're feeding"},{"startTime":2357.421,"endTime":2361.392,"body":"your mind, your body and your soul."},{"startTime":2362.46,"endTime":2365.463,"body":"Again, a huge"},{"startTime":2362.46,"endTime":2365.463,"body":"thank you to our guest, Ellen Duncan."},{"startTime":2365.563,"endTime":2368.265,"body":"To our listeners,"},{"startTime":2365.563,"endTime":2368.265,"body":"remember to subscribe to the show,"},{"startTime":2368.265,"endTime":2371.302,"body":"share it with friends and comment"},{"startTime":2368.265,"endTime":2371.302,"body":"with gratitude."},{"startTime":2371.302,"endTime":2374.872,"body":"Matt Listeners until the next time,"},{"startTime":2371.302,"endTime":2374.872,"body":"find the courage to be grateful."},{"startTime":2375.239,"endTime":2376.64,"body":"Godspeed, my friends."}]}