Re-Broadcast - The One Thing Great Leaders Do Before They Grow: They Let Go

We're on a summer break of sorts from new episodes of the podcast, but we wanted to re-share some favorites from the past nine seasons of The Leadership Vision Podcast. This was one of my favorites from 2026, as it is a great reminder to all of us that we need to let certain things go if we want to grow. About how sometimes, choosing to look past a difficult situation without any sort of resolution might be the best way to move forward and get closer to the things we really want or need.

That's not to say it's easy to do this! Far from it, in fact. But reminding us all that we have a choice in these matters is sometimes all it takes.

This lesson comes to us from a parable taken from a children's book that was shared with Dr. Linda and Brian from one of our clients earlier this year. It's a simple story, and an even simpler lesson, but one worth revisiting over and over again. It begins with unlearning—the intentional process of releasing habits, patterns, and ways of thinking that no longer serve you.

At its core, this episode is about a simple but challenging idea: great leaders grow by letting go first.

Enjoy!

Transcript

Summer Replay And Big Question

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everyone, it's Nathan and welcome back to the Leadership Vision Podcast. We're taking just a little summer break here in August, but we wanted to replay for you some of our favorite episodes from the year. This one is all about a children's book that uh someone read for Brian and Linda at a client engagement, and it's a Zen parable about these traveling monks. And uh where it really hit me, even as I was re-listening to it, is just there's this powerful lesson about the loads that we carry, the things that we carry, the perhaps the things that we're still upset about or the things that we're analyzing or overanalyzing that we just need to let go, to put down, to just kind of forget about and move on. So as you listen to this, maybe you already listened to it, this will be a great reminder. Think about what character in this store you are, which one do you resonate with? And maybe just try to think about, I don't know, something you need to let go, something that you need to put down and just stop carrying it. Enjoy. In this episode, Brian and Linda share a classic Zen parable that came up during a coaching conversation with a client. It's a simple story about two traveling monks, a difficult moment, and a question that lingers long after the moment has passed. What are we still carrying that we should have set down? Now, together, Linda, Brian, and I reflect on what the story reveals about leadership, relationships, and the habits of mind that shape how we respond to challenges. Along the way, we explore the different characters in the story and how we might see parts of ourselves in each one of them. Now, this is a short story with a link in the bio, but it opens the door to a deeper conversation about letting go, perspective, and the journeys that we share with others. My name is Nathan Freeberg. This is a Leadership Vision podcast. Enjoy.

The Client Moment That Sparked It

SPEAKER_01 2:00

And he simply ended with this story. He told me a story. I think what I asked him was, how would you summarize this hour-long conversation? And he said, I think the lesson that I learned about myself today comes from a story that I read to my children. And he then recited this story that he reads to his children over and over and over again. And for him, it was a statement of the challenge that he has as a senior level leader who really desires to grow. And it hit me so strongly that I not only had to buy the book, but I've not forgotten about this parable.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

Can you can you read this, Linda? Can you tell us what this is?

SPEAKER_02 2:49

Oh, Nathan, I would love to read this. It's a version of a classic Zen story. It's about letting go, it is about transformation. It is a story that has has just stuck with Brian and me. It's from a children's book author named John J. Mouth, and it's from a book called Zen Shorts. Here's the story.

The Zen Parable Read Aloud

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Two traveling monks reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles, and she couldn't step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn't help her across the puddle. The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up, put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn't thank the older monk. She just showed him out the way and departed. As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out.

When Doing Good Still Stings

SPEAKER_00 4:40

And you need to do the right thing, no matter what, kind of. And if someone doesn't do the right thing back, you can't let that bother you. You can't let that, like apparently this younger monk, like ruin ruin your life, ruin a few hours. But man, is it hard to do that?

SPEAKER_01 4:57

What gets my attention in this story, number one, is the simplicity of it. It's a simple story, it is a very short story, and there's only a few characters in the story. And so when I first heard the story, I saw myself in several different characters. And so one of the first questions I often wonder is which character captures your attention and why? And allowing your mind to really be open to connect with any one of the characters there: the wise monk, the young monk, the princess, maybe even the servants that are trying to figure out like what to do next. And I think that each of those characters has some type of attitude that is represented. And sometimes those attitudes are aspirational for ourselves, and we may think too lowly of ourselves that we may not be as wise as the old monk, or maybe we

Which Character Do You Resemble

SPEAKER_01 5:55

have some type of experience that is influencing us to not believe that we may sound like the younger monk and how the younger monk is carrying things with him. And oftentimes, I must admit that I oftentimes hear myself sounding a lot like the princess. Where was that a lot? I'm afraid to get my shoes dirty and who's gonna carry my stuff and things like that. And so I would just like to maybe invite us all to think about which of the characters represents us right now.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

And they're a mix of all. Listen, I just carried her for a hot second.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Why are you what's the deal again?

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Why are you still carrying her hours later? And and for me, as I'm listening to people, sometimes story, sometimes allegory really helps me listen to people in new ways, have compassion on them, and invite them into both the reflection process as well as taking actions that are a little

Perspective That Makes Problems Bigger

SPEAKER_02 7:29

bit different.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Nathan, what's interesting about this story is that the the wise monk and the young monk made their way around this body of water. Without getting what. They continued. And the princess saw it as some insurmountable, impassable obstacle, and her perspective influenced her servants and what they were tasked to do. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So that like limiting belief or expansive belief that this challenge is actually larger than what is actually there in the parable, there's no indication that the two monks turned around. The the intonation is that they kept going forward. So there was a way around.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

And when I read this, there are so many people that I know that are that that princess where they are over-amplifying the issue, and it creates a sense of impassability to everybody else when there actually is a way around. And right now I feel that I'm I s there are many times I feel like I'm just sitting next to this puddle with my hand, with my chin in my hands, thinking, I don't even know how to get around this thing. I don't know what to let go, what to whatever.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Sam must read it a little differently where she looked at it and she's like, I'm above walking through this. Like I'm I'm too fancy, I'm too high of my station to do this. Like, I don't know if it was a hard problem, but she just is like, Oh, we don't do that. We don't stoop to that level.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

And we just assume that that if I'm in a car, then someone will someone will just automatically get me to the other side.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

And so to live with that kind of entitlement and without

Letting Go Versus Working It Through

SPEAKER_02 9:12

gratitude.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Yeah. How do I ask this? How do we, how do all of us know maybe the difference between I just need to let that go versus no, I need to sit with this and kind of process it and possibly take action. Is there an easy why are you laughing so hard?

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Because that's just how that not just because you show up that way most of the time. Like I need to, I mean I gotta I need to wrestle this even more. You know, like in this story, Nathan, you are the servants, guys to me. Like you're just like, well, what's the depth of the puddle? Well, how many times do we have to get this? Can we just can we take apart the carriage? I overanalyze things. And can we like make a bridge? Do we take this apart? Like, do we really need to bring her with these are all important questions? I'm sorry, I lost complete track of even what you were asking. Well, say more about that. Why are you laughing so hard? I think your response, Nathan, is typical of how I know you to respond. Meaning is I need to think of this, should I think even longer about this? Um I and in my life, I I think why I'm laughing is I'm off I'm also laughing at myself because I'm trying to let as much go as possible. I'm just in that stage. Or I'm wrestling through a lot of things, and in my mind, I keep saying, let it go, just let it go. And there are so many practices I have in place right now that are helping me let go of and just fill in the blank.

The Journey We Keep Walking Together

SPEAKER_01 10:42

So that being said, what stands out to me is that there's a journey. This parable is about a journey, and I'm fascinated by the relationship between the wise monk and the young monk that even after this event happened, they still continued on their journey together. There's a companionship and a partnership to this story that I really like, even with the princess and who's there supporting her, there's a relationship there as well. So in life, there are so many different ways that we can see our relationships with other people. And I believe that the invitation here is for us to really understand how we are in all the characters, what types of journeys that we're on, and to recognize that life continues to unfold before us, and our invitation is to continue to move forward in our journeys.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Yeah, I mean, I think my takeaway from that is that you're old. Okay. So are you the older monk with that experience to be like that? So yeah.

Closing Takeaways And Thanks

SPEAKER_00 11:52

I think the final takeaway as I'm thinking about this is just thinking more again about what are those things to let go? What are those things to just be like, not worth it, set it down. So thank you for that, Linda and Brian. But Linda for reading and Brian for sharing that after your client.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

So shout out to the lovely leader that we're working with that has helped us extend the message of having the courage. Look at our lives differently.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Now he's shaping his team.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

Yeah, I know he's shaping his children. It's clear he's shaping his team and his organization. But I think we can all do a little more introspection and take a little more action.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

I'll put a link to this in the show notes. And thank you, listeners, for listening to the Leadership Vision Podcast, our show helping you build positive team culture. My name is Nathan Freebring.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

I'm Linda Schoebring. And I'm Brian Schubring.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

And on behalf of our entire team, thanks for listening.