Carol Gavhane survived secondary infertility and pregnancy loss, ending up with two children from seven pregnancies. Pregnancies were not the only loss she experienced. Her sister died when Carol was just 27 years old. Carol’s son Henry arrived early and small and had a NICU stay. As a Korean-American raised by a single mom who spoke limited English, Carol had a hard time fitting in as a girl. Carol and her husband were inspired by their walk with secondary infertility to found Asha Blooms, a handcrafted purposeful jewelry company.
Carol's parents met in Korea on an air force base, but they divorced when she was young. Growing up in a second-generation immigrant, single-parent family was tough. Carol and her sister had to be responsible for translations. “You have to grow up a little faster than the norm…A part of me felt resentful, because other kids did not have to translate things.”
Carol’s experiences shaped who she is as an adult, and she married a man who is also mixed race.
Carol got pregnant with her first child easily, but had excessive bleeding and a difficult delivery. After the birth, Carol told her husband she didn’t want to have another baby...but 4 months later she was ready to try again. But she had an intuition the next baby would not be as easy. She soon got pregnant and had a miscarriage. It would be the first of five miscarriages.
Her doctor sent her to a fertility clinic, and she received a diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve. The clinic recommended IVF.
The next time Carol got pregnant, it ended up being an ectopic pregnancy. Unfortunately her husband was out of town, so she went to the ER on her own with her toddler. They gave Carol methotrexate to stop the cells from growing and then she miscarried at home.
The next time she got pregnant, the embryo implanted near her c-section scar, which would jeopardize Carol’s life as the baby grew. “I don’t think people understand that when you go through loss after loss, after you see a heartbeat, it’s such a heavy grief.”
She miscarried again at home but had to have a D&C because not all of the content was removed. After the D&C the bleeding wouldn’t stop. They tried to save her uterus and her life, and she almost had to have a hysterectomy. The whole experience left her traumatized.
“I had a lot of loss, my body was worn down, I was mentally depleted, and I didn’t feel like carrying on. But somehow you find a way and day by day, one foot in front of the next…”
Her pregnancy with Henry was her last hope. At one point in the pregnancy she thought she was going to lose him. At week 33, Carol was put on bedrest. Two days later the baby was in distress, so she had to have an emergency c-section. Henry emerged weighing 3 pounds, 14 ounces and stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks.
After Henry was born, she was hit with the reality that life is fragile, and you only get one shot. Carol had an idea to create jewelry that brings people hope. She pitched her idea to her husband, and Asha Blooms was born. Asha Blooms is handcrafted, purposeful jewelry intended to uplift and inspire, “to acknowledge and empower the wearer, to remind you that you can do hard things, that you are enough, that you are loved, that you are still standing.”
Carol has also gotten involved in lobbying Congress to make fertility treatment and adoption services available to everyone.
I asked Carol whose grit and resilience story inspires her, and she said her mom, who came to this country with her husband and child. Her mom felt like she had to leave her husband, who was an alcoholic. Her mom also experienced the death of her daughter when Carol’s sister died in her 20s from a sudden heart attack. Now Carol’s mom lives about five minutes away. “My mom is living her best life right now.”