Finding Fertile Ground: Stories of Grit, Resilience, and Fertile Ground

Murielle Fellous: Single Mom Doing It All

April 11, 2021 Marie Gettel-Gilmartin Season 1 Episode 42
Finding Fertile Ground: Stories of Grit, Resilience, and Fertile Ground
Murielle Fellous: Single Mom Doing It All
Show Notes Transcript

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Murielle Fellous bounced back after a depression while raising three teenagers as a single mom and living with Hepatitis B. Originally born and raised in France, she founded the "Single Moms Doing It All" coaching practice and podcast. 

Muriel grew up near Paris, raised to be “very proper.” For example, she was trained not to speak too loudly on the subway and to be very polite. When Murielle was 18, she went to college in Israel and experienced freedom for the first time in her life. She met her ex-husband there, and moved to the United States with him. 

Murielle learned to be more direct and less proper, preparing her for what she would have to face as a single mom later in life. She got divorced about 15 years ago when her youngest was 2. “I had to be the everything for my kids…the financial support, the emotional support, and it's still like that today.”

Unfortunately things became more difficult when Murielle contracted hepatitis B. When her youngest two became teens, everything went crazy in her life. She dreamt her daughter was going to end up dead in the street. She slowly spiraled into depression. Then one night she woke up in tears, feeling the power within herself that assisted her to heal.

“Suddenly I was able to admit that I don't like my life…it was like almost an abomination, to say something like that. In my head it made me a bad mother.”

She realized that the fact she didn't like her life, yet also loved her kids, didn't negate each other.

“That opened the door to freedom, because I let go of the shame and the self-judgment, and I started healing.”

She doubled down on self-care practices, which are the tools she now gives her clients. Murielle knows the pain and worry of being a single parent and doesn’t want anyone to go through what she experienced.

Self-doubt has been the most challenging thing about being a single parent. She has also struggled in not having a partner to bounce ideas off of in parenting challenges. 

The biggest blessing of being a single mom is the freedom to do whatever you want and not have to negotiate. Also, she has developed an incredible bond with her kids.

I asked Murielle what advice she has for single moms with teens. “Don't take things personally. Don't, because you're going to get hurt, and when you get hurt, your stress center is on alert and your body is preparing for fight or flight…you can't find your own inner resources. You're all emotion and you're like fire.”

Murielle suggests having a mantra, telling yourself it’s not personal, they're growing, they're pushing the limits…and love is under all that.

Muriel is proud of herself for going for her dream, even though it’s not easy being a single mom, having a day job, and starting her business on the side.

“ When my one of my daughters had to do a project in high school, and they were talking about the American Dream and success, my daughter picked me. She said, 'you're an immigrant and you were on your own and you inspired me because you still went for it.'”

She has a podcast, provides one-on-one and group coaching, and also has a free “Get Back to Peace Kit for Moms,” which includes a meditation and visualization and a tapping session, an emotional freedom technique to calm yourself down after an argument so you can come back to your senses and to your centered place.

Next week, I launch my new podcast: Companies That Care!

Marie

OK, Hello Murielle thank you so much for coming on to the Finding Fertile Ground podcast.

Yeah.

 Murielle

Thank you for having me.

 Murielle

I'm delighted to be here.

 Marie

Yes, you are the first person that I have interviewed from France.

 Murielle

Oh cool, that's cool.

 Marie

Yeah exactly, I know you lived in the US now where do you?

 Murielle

Live now.

 Murielle

Right now I'm in Las Vegas, NV.

 Marie

Oh, what's it like?

 Marie

Living in Las Vegas?

 Murielle

There are good things and there are things that I don't like as much.

 Murielle

Uh, the good thing is that there is a lot of nature around us and beautiful, beautiful landscapes.

 Murielle

You know, with rocks with a lot of red and really gorgeous.

 Murielle

The bad thing is, and I never go around the area or the casinos and all that is because that's not my Cup of tea and it's far from everything like you have to drive like three to four hours if you want to go to the beach or to the to another city.

 Marie

Huh?

 Murielle

So that's the only negative.

 Marie

So how did you end up in Las Vegas?

 

Yeah.

 Murielle

So I from France, I grew up in France and at the age of 18 I lived to go to College in Israel and when I was in Israel, I met my ex husband who was from California, so he wanted to come back to the USI said why not and he was then transferred.

 Murielle

In Las Vegas, when I was still married, so that's how I ended up in Vegas.

 Marie

I see, so let's go back to the beginning of your life.

 Marie

Could you tell our listeners a little bit about your childhood?

 Marie

What was it like growing up in France and your family background?

 Murielle

So my childhood and, and that's very funny because I had what I thought at the time.

 Murielle

A very normal childhood.

 Murielle

And my parents are great people, but like every one of us, they are limited by their own conditioning and what they've learned because we cannot do anything else than what we know and what we've learned.

 Murielle

So it was.

 Murielle

It was very normal, nice, uhm.

 Murielle

I grew up in a suburb.

 Murielle

In the suburb of Paris.

 Murielle

And, uh, yeah I I don't think there is nothing particular about my childhood.

 Murielle

Very family oriented.

 Murielle

Uh, yeah and then.

 Murielle

Like no in France.

 Murielle

In fact the the one thing that maybe is different from growing out here in America for example.

 Murielle

In my family we were encouraged to be very proper, very like you don't speak too loud when you're in the train or the OR the subway.

 Murielle

It's not proper.

 Murielle

You have to be very polite and and.

 Murielle

And there is one thing that I remember that when I lived friends.

 Murielle

To go study in Israel, Israeli people are way more direct and in France, for example, when somebody offers something to you, let's say you go to somebody's house.

 Murielle

And they asked you, do you want some olives or some appetizers?

 Murielle

The general rule at the time I think it has changed, was to say no twice, so the person insists twice.

 Marie

So.

 Marie

 

 Murielle

And then you say OK then yes, thank you.

 Murielle

And I when I moved to Israel, it was.

 Murielle

I got shocked because I was invited to a house for a weekend and they offered something to me and I said no.

 Murielle

And they said OK and they switched to the next next first.

 Marie

Huh?

 Murielle

So I learned very fast to be more direct and maybe less proper, really quick.

 Murielle

Uhm, so that that was my childhood.

 Murielle

Then when I lived for Israel, I was 18, so I was still very.

 Marie

Young hey, can you hey real could you repeat that again?

 Marie

You sped up you know how zoom does that just say OK about leaving for Israel just repeat that line again.

 Murielle

OK.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

OK, so that was my childhood.

 Murielle

And then when I was.

 Murielle

18 years old I I left France for Israel.

 Murielle

I was still very young.

 Murielle

Uhm, I went to college and there was like like opening a gate of adventure because I met people from all over the world.

 Murielle

I I grew up when I grew up.

 Murielle

My father was pretty strict with me.

 Murielle

I was the first one on top of it all.

 Murielle

So suddenly I was the master of my time.

 Murielle

I was I could do I.

 Murielle

I had the permission to do anything I wanted and I didn't necessarily go crazy.

 Murielle

But it was very refreshing.

 Murielle

And I realized that I was kind of shy.

 Marie

Oh so So what did you?

 Marie

Ah yeah.

 Marie

 

 Marie

What did you like about living in Israel?

 Marie

Besides the freedom?

 Marie

Did you enjoy living there?

 Murielle

I loved living there.

 Murielle

Actually I'm getting ready to potentially move back in.

 

Ah.

 

 

 Murielle

Ah, yes, with my son.

 Murielle

Uhm, of course with Kovid in the way.

 Murielle

Everything got delayed right.

 Murielle

I loved the mentality because.

 Murielle

Like I was saying, and I'm a pretty direct person myself now.

 Murielle

Uhm, I there is a variety true in the country.

 Murielle

In the North, it's greener in the South.

 Murielle

It's more like desertic like we have here in Nevada and I just.

 Murielle

I just loved it there.

 Murielle

Love their way of living and, uh, I loved living next to the beach that was I was living in front of the beach for some time when I was just before I left Israel for the US. So that was a treat like the ultimate for me because I love.

 Marie

The beach, oh, that sounds wonderful, yeah?

 Murielle

Ah.

 Marie

So can you tell our listeners about your grit and resilience story?

 Murielle

So I have several, but the one I really talk about today is being a single mom because I'm I, I became a single mum when my son was two like about 15 years ago and.

 

Huh?

 Murielle

I could manage because I had to be the everything for my kids.

 Murielle

The financial support, the emotional support, everything because I divorced from someone who suffers from addiction and who was in denial about it.

 Murielle

So at a certain point, everything was on my back and it's still like that today.

 Murielle

So it became very difficult and I contracted hepatitis B, so I was not only.

 Murielle

Healing the disease.

 Murielle

I was recovering my kids.

 Murielle

The last two became teenagers and everything where everything went crazy.

 

Big one.

 Murielle

'cause I have very, very adventurous kids who love to explore and explore in parties and try stuff.

 Murielle

And you know the kind of acting out that some teenagers do.

 Murielle

And I found myself in so much anxiety because I was trying to protect them 24/7. And of course it's impossible that I started waking up at night in anxiety attacks, seeing like I would think.

 Murielle

I had images like my daughter is going to end up dead in the street because maybe she will try something at a party and and you know, like she could die on the spot.

 Murielle

Horrible scenarios in my head.

 Murielle

And slowly slowly I spiraled into depression and I didn't see it coming.

 

Yeah.

 Marie

Wow.

 Murielle

And I think that.

 Murielle

I didn't see it coming for two reasons because it was slow.

 Murielle

Like, you know, lighting a fire under a pot and you don't realize that you're boiling slowly, but also because I was I am such a positive person that I could not even admit to myself that I was depressed.

 Murielle

Uhm, until one night.

 Murielle

I I kept telling myself and even out loud sometimes.

 Murielle

Unfortunately I would love just to disappear and the thoughts were like it's too much.

 Murielle

I can't manage all that, it's too much for me.

 Murielle

It's too difficult.

 Murielle

So constantly all day long, repeating stuff like that to myself and going further and further down.

 Murielle

Until one night.

 Murielle

I woke up in tears and somehow there is a power in us that is always assisting us and life is always assisting us into healing.

 Murielle

What needs to be healed and somehow that night was so bad I woke up crying and I suddenly was.

 Murielle

Able to admit to myself something that I couldn't admit before, which was I don't like my life.

 Murielle

Because I had so much shame and self judgment about the fact that I didn't like my life because to me it meant you don't love your kids because you have healthy kids.

 Murielle

You have normal kids, you have a normal life.

 Murielle

And it was like almost an abomination, to say something like that.

 Murielle

See it made me.

 Murielle

In my head it made me a bad mother.

 Marie

Uh huh.

 Murielle

Tonight when I finally looked at the reality and at at the.

 Murielle

Ruth, I started crying because I realized that we are walking paradoxes and on one side I didn't like my life, but on the other side I loved my kids and it one didn't negate the other and I was finally.

 Murielle

It opened the door to freedom because I let go of the shame and the self judgment, and I started healing because the the first step in healing is acknowledging what is and seeing what needs to change.

 Murielle

Otherwise you cannot change anything you cannot heal.

 Murielle

And from there I doubled on my self care practices which.

 Murielle

Literally the same tools that I gave my clients.

 Murielle

The brain tools like the brain training tools.

 Murielle

And the energetic tools and the meditation.

 Murielle

And.

 Murielle

And asking the powerful questions that.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

Brought me to more awareness and into a solution and slowly slowly I went up and back to myself.

 Murielle

Uh, and uh, that's why.

 Murielle

Now I know the pain and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through.

 Murielle

I'm trying to prevent that as much as I can, wow.

 Marie

Yeah, I think that it's, uh, being a single parent is just a completely unappreciated.

 Marie

Talents, isn't it?

 Murielle

Well, I don't know if it's a talent because I guess you have to develop it as you do it.

 Marie

Yes, that's right.

 Marie

What do you think?

 Marie

What do you think is one of the hardest things about being a single parent?

 Murielle

Yeah.

 Murielle

For me it was the self doubt, and before I really came to.

 Murielle

Defined my areas of power and my areas of powerlessness.

 Murielle

DART was a challenge too because you try to control something that you cannot control, which is another another human being.

 Murielle

And.

 Murielle

That was very difficult for me because I was used.

 Murielle

I've been taught, you know, I've I was raised the old fashioned way with parents say, and you do otherwise there are consequences.

 Murielle

Yeah.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

Uh, that's not like that anymore, and I didn't want it to be like that for my kids either because I now we know better and we know to keep room for them to be individuals and respect that you have an individual in front of you while still putting limits for them to be safe.

 Murielle

So that was.

 Murielle

Hard for me and the other part was like.

 Murielle

The confusion what should I do?

 Murielle

You never know if it's the right solution, the right decision.

 Murielle

So I had to learn to negotiate that and to build some.

 Murielle

Access to my inner wisdom and some trust.

 Murielle

Trust in myself.

 Marie

And what do you think are some blessings of being a single mom?

 Murielle

Well, definitely you have the freedom to do whatever you want because nobody is going to tell you no, you don't put that in the House or you don't.

 Murielle

You don't go to that place on vacation you.

 Marie

Oh, I think you.

 Marie

I lost you there first.

 Marie

Are you still there?

 Murielle

Got it.

 Marie

So I lost you there very well.

 Marie

Whatever you just said got cut out yeah could you repeat that again?

 Murielle

So I'm going to start with the first one because I don't know where it kept.

 Murielle

OK, so the the first advantage of being a single mom is that you have the freedom to do whatever you want without someone else telling you what you can.

 Murielle

Or cannot do if you can go on vacation somewhere or not.

 Murielle

Or put a piece of furniture in your in your house.

 Murielle

I I have friends who are married and sometimes they're like.

 Murielle

I envy the fact that you don't have to pick up The Dirty socks of your hospital.

 Marie

Right?

 Marie

I imagine it's a little bit like leaving the Corp and this is how I can relate to leaving the corporate world and not having to report to a boss.

 Marie

Yes, no, your spouse is not your boss, but I mean hopefully not.

 Marie

Believe it.

 Marie

 

 Marie

But it's just having that freedom.

 Marie

I'm sure you know.

 Marie

Although being a single parent probably well, probably has some similarities to being an entrepreneur.

 Marie

Really, you're on your own, which it can be challenging.

 Murielle

He does, yeah he does, but.

 Murielle

Uhm, yeah, but that's also that's such freedom.

 Murielle

I mean, that's that's a great a prize.

 Murielle

I don't know if it's a prize like that's a.

 Murielle

Win, let's say, huh?

 Murielle

Right, right and.

 Murielle

The other one is because.

 Murielle

I parent my kids well, in my case, on top of it all alone, practically with no.

 Murielle

Intervention or involvement.

 Murielle

Too much of their father.

 Murielle

We have a bond that is so strong.

 

Hmm.

 Murielle

And that's really, that's a heart to heart bond that I really I'm so grateful about it regularly.

 Murielle

Like when I do gratitude.

 Murielle

You know, pages in the morning or that's something that I will always say.

 Murielle

Thank you for.

 Marie

Oh, that's wonderful.

 Marie

Now what about your hepatitis B or you still start struggling from that?

 Murielle

No, so I'm also certified in Reiki and energy work, so I of course I did it on myself.

 Murielle

Love, I made sure when I bounced back from the depression, I'm very.

 Murielle

Yes.

 Murielle

Careful about taking care of myself.

 Murielle

Because you can forget yourself as a moment as a single mom.

 Murielle

Even more.

 Murielle

There are so many things to do.

 Murielle

You can forget about taking care of your body or mine and I was able to.

 Murielle

I'm off Med.

 Murielle

Now my body, my doctor told me it's like if I had the vaccine.

 Murielle

So yeah, yeah.

 Marie

Oh, that's great wonderful.

 Murielle

Yeah.

 Marie

So let's talk a little bit about teenagers.

 Marie

What advice do you have for single moms of teeth?

 Murielle

First of all, the main advice because based on the feedback that I get from mums and and I mean several groups and.

 Murielle

When I have a membership to where I interact with them, don't take things personally.

 Murielle

Don't because you're going to get.

 Marie

Hurt, ah, that's kind of nice, huh?

 Murielle

Yeah, the the first thing because when you're hurt.

 Murielle

You're stressed.

 Murielle

Is on alert and you cannot even at.

 Marie

So I I think I might've I.

 Marie

Should I lose you again?

 Marie

You said your stress and then there was a pause and that it said is on alert.

 Marie

So I think I might have missed something.

 Murielle

Your stress center is on alert.

 Marie

Stress center OK great yeah.

 Murielle

And, uh, your your so your body is preparing, you know the fight flight or freeze response from the body when we are under threat?

 Murielle

It's the same mechanism and you don't have access to your frontal cortex, which is the analyzing part of the brain.

 Murielle

You can't find your own inner resources.

 Murielle

You can think logically.

 Murielle

You're all emotion and you're like fire.

 Murielle

So you can not, once it's activated, you have to cut me down and and usually it's hard to do in the moment.

 Murielle

Uhm so not to take things personally and having a mantra, if you have to tell yourself every morning that's not personal, they're growing, they're pushing the limits.

 Murielle

Love is under all that.

 Murielle

I just did a an episode about that and a class about being less reactive.

 Murielle

To your teenager, because that was just, uh, something that came up in so many mums lately.

 

Uh huh.

 Murielle

So I I I did a class last week.

 Murielle

Like

 Murielle

Which, yeah, we're all the same.

 Murielle

We get hurt.

 Marie

Yes, yeah, that and that is really helpful information for any parent, not just the single parents.

 Marie

Yeah, not to take things personally 'cause they're I mean, they're trying to individuate and distance themselves and become independent.

 Marie

And yeah, so yeah.

 Murielle

And even with any relationship really, I don't know if you know the book.

 Murielle

That's one of my go to and come back to.

 Murielle

Uhm, the four agreements for from Don Miguel Ruiz.

 Marie

I have yes, I have heard of that, yes?

 Murielle

So one of the agreement is do not take things personally and that literally changed my life.

 Murielle

Because once you don't take things personally, you can resolve conflicts so much better you.

 Murielle

You navigate life better.

 Marie

Yes, I agree, yeah.

 Marie

Yeah, that's great.

 Marie

Really great advice, so let me go back to my questions.

 Marie

I lost them here for a second.

 Marie

OK, what what would you say?

 Marie

What mistakes do you have made in your life and what have you learned from them?

 Murielle

So in my parenting I wish I had known and worked on everything that I now practice and know before when my kids were younger because.

 Murielle

We are the results of.

 Murielle

The way we grew up and this will imprint in US beliefs, patterns, models of the world.

 Murielle

And I realized I remember this definite moment when I was raising my voice at my kids.

 Murielle

I don't know how old they were, probably 10.

 Murielle

And I caught myself as I was doing it and I was like, Oh my God, I react like my father and I love my father.

 Murielle

Wow.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

But he learned stuff that were outdated and he you it's now outdated to do to parent that way.

 Murielle

You

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

From that day on, I made sure that I went back and healed what needed to be healed and changed what needed to be changed.

 Murielle

That's where the don't take it personally comes in place too.

 Murielle

Because I always tell people do not bleed your childhood wounds on your kids or on anybody else.

 Murielle

In fact, if you don't attend to them, they will run the show whether you know it or not, so that that's a mistake.

 Murielle

I wish I wish I had done.

 Murielle

I had corrected earlier.

 Murielle

And another thing is because I had limiting beliefs regarding life and maybe regarding abundance and all kind of stuff that I started working on late in my life.

 Murielle

I probably surely transmitted some to my kids.

 Murielle

Uh.

 Murielle

Yeah.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

One that I can see clearly into my daughter, my first one who's 24 and that she started working on 2 is.

 Murielle

Pushing yourself so much.

 Murielle

That sometimes you make yourself sick because you're on over do are like if you don't kill yourself trying it then it's not worth it.

 Murielle

That's something that I got from my childhood and that I I'm letting go of.

 Murielle

And it's in layers like anything that you you resolve, it comes in layers you you resolve what I always say.

 Murielle

Because I'm French, I love artichokes.

 

Yeah.

 Murielle

So you remove one leaf after another until you get to the the grade.

 Murielle

The heart of it.

 Murielle

So you remove I I remove that leaf over and over in different aspects of my life.

 Marie

Ah nice, yeah.

 Marie

So what are you most proud of?

 Marie

Looking back over your life?

 Murielle

Uhm?

 Murielle

I'm proud of that.

 Murielle

I'm proud of myself for trying and going for my dream, even though it was not easy because being a single mom, having a day job and starting your dream business on the side.

 Murielle

Was not easy and.

 Marie

So you were so you were working full time when you first started your business.

 Murielle

Yes yes yes.

 Marie

Ah.

 Murielle

And I'm still working and I'm still developing the business because.

 Murielle

I had to.

 Murielle

I mean, I was the only one raising my kids college and everything I I had to be there for my kids financially.

 Murielle

And but when my one of my daughters had to do a project, I remember I saw at a certain point in high school.

 Murielle

And they were talking about the American Dream and success.

 Murielle

And she picked me and I was like.

 Murielle

I almost tried.

 Marie

Oh yeah.

 Murielle

Because I was like I'm not a super, you know multi millionaire person.

 Murielle

She said no, but you're an immigrant and you were on your own and you inspired me because you still went for it.

 Murielle

Oh, it was so touchy.

 Murielle

And that was.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

Thing the other thing, and it's always relating to my kids somehow what comes to mind now.

 Murielle

My son at one point we were in the car and we were talking about an issue.

 Murielle

And he said, if there is one thing that is sure is that we learn to defend ourselves from you, not from, or that you taught us that.

 Murielle

Right?

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

So that's I mean, that's priceless.

 

Why?

 Marie

Yeah, it does sound like you have a very close relationship with your kids.

 Marie

That's great, wonderful.

 Murielle

I do I do?

 Marie

Could you tell me about a time recently when you felt great joy.

 Murielle

Ah well.

 Murielle

When we went with my kids we love.

 Murielle

Taking Rd trips and usually in the car they exposed me to music that I don't necessarily would listen to if I was alone like rap, and you know those new trends and stuff.

 Murielle

So.

 Murielle

 

 Marie

Uh huh.

 Murielle

So those trips I I cherish because we share they make fun of me.

 Murielle

Of course, with my accent.

 Murielle

And those are great memories.

 Murielle

That's a lot of joy.

 Marie

That's right.

 Marie

That's wonderful, yeah, my husband is British so we get a little bit of that as well.

 Marie

 

 Marie

Oh

 Marie

 

 

Yes.

 Marie

Yeah yeah and my my youngest son who's 14 has this great gift for accents so I I always enjoy hearing him put on various accents.

 Marie

Oh yeah.

 Murielle

My son does that too and he does it so well.

 Murielle

It wasn't that bad.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

I don't know.

 Murielle

Maybe as kids were exposed to accents really early.

 Murielle

Maybe they developed a skill I don't know maybe?

 Marie

Yeah.

 Marie

I'm not good at it.

 Murielle

Me neither.

 Marie

Do it, I know.

 Murielle

Just good at the at French accent, right?

 Murielle

Excellent.

 Murielle

 

 Marie

Your French accents, beautiful, that's all you need.

 Marie

Do you miss France at all?

 Murielle

I miss certain aspects of it.

 Murielle

I miss the culture because I love.

 Murielle

I love the, you know, the history of France and all the architecture and I remember as a kid going to castles and especially medieval time.

 

Yeah.

 Murielle

I'm very.

 Murielle

Uh, I'm a fan of the medieval time.

 Murielle

As far as architecture and and stories, and I remember being fascinated because once I was working in a Castle and then I, I realized that many centuries before me, the King and Queen worked exactly where I worked.

 

Right?

 Murielle

And I remember I was probably.

 Murielle

12 I I went with my grandma, and I was like, oh wow, I was fascinated so that I miss.

 Murielle

And the food the family.

 Marie

Yes.

 Marie

What is your favorite?

 Marie

What is your favorite dish?

 Marie

Do you have a particular favorite or?

 Murielle

No, it's not so much a dish.

 Murielle

I love cheese.

 Marie

Oh yes.

 Marie

Yes.

 Murielle

Oh, you gave me wine, red wine and cheese and baguette.

 Murielle

I'm happy.

 Marie

Ah yeah, yes.

 Marie

 

 Marie

Oh yeah, Oh my goodness.

 Marie

We were at the only time I've been to France was in 2001. We spent a week in Paris.

 Marie

And just had a wonderful time there.

 Marie

It was in August, so all the all the French people had left true, yeah, but it was.

 

No, I don't.

 Marie

Yeah, it was a wonderful week.

 Marie

I would love to.

 Murielle

Yeah, it's usually.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

Prove that the month where all the tourists are in Paris and the racist people are going somewhere else.

 

Yeah.

 Marie

Yes, I mean there were way too many continental European tourists.

 Marie

Yeah really very nice.

 Marie

But we're not.

 Marie

 

 Marie

They were not very polite.

 Marie

I remember there was a lot of pushiness.

 Marie

So that wasn't very yeah, like we went to, we went to Paris Disney 'cause we had.

 Marie

Oh that wasn't very.

 Marie

My oldest son was four at the time and they were all these year.

 Murielle

Oh yeah.

 Marie

I don't know if they were German.

 Marie

I don't know where they were from, but you know from other parts of Europe.

 

No.

 Marie

And they were really.

 Marie

They were not good at standing in line or you.

 Murielle

Know in France.

 Murielle

Well, in America we are so spoiled because there is a line people know their place.

 Murielle

They don't try to most of the time they don't try to go in front of you.

 Murielle

In France, you better be careful because people will try yes.

 Murielle

So yeah, so I had yeah.

 Marie

Yes, yes, but I think these people were not French, they were from other parts of Europe.

 Marie

But it's European I think.

 Murielle

But I guess it's European.

 Murielle

But I guess.

 Marie

So I mean, I think the Brits are more used to queuing, but.

 Marie

Yeah, that I, but it was.

 Marie

It was a wonderful week.

 Marie

I remember my husband would go.

 Marie

We were in an apartment and he would go out to buy, you know fresh croissants in the morning.

 Marie

Ah, I it was.

 Marie

It was wonderful.

 Marie

I loved it.

 Marie

So one of these days I hope to go back.

 Marie

So can you tell our listeners what you're doing now with your life and you have a gift to offer as.

 Murielle

Well, you mentioned yes.

 Murielle

So now because of what happened to me I helped single moms.

 Murielle

I also have moms who are not single because.

 Murielle

It's being a mummy stuff.

 Murielle

Uhm, I help them prevent that emotional downward spiraling that can end up in depression.

 Murielle

Then

 Murielle

And I helped them, uh, avoid constant arguing with their teams.

 Murielle

Uhm, so I have I of course I coach one on one.

 Murielle

I have a podcast.

 Murielle

And I also have a membership where we meet once a month, but I also have recorded tools like.

 Murielle

Are you familiar with?

 Murielle

Tapping emotional freedom technique, I am yes.

 Murielle

So for the auditors who are not, it's a technique that combines modern psychology because it has aspect of cognitive, cognitive, behavioral therapy, and ancient wisdom.

 Murielle

Because we use the acupuncture meridians that we tap on.

 Murielle

To calm down that the the the stress response in the body that I was talking about earlier the it's called the amygdala, which will, when activated.

 Murielle

Flood your body with with, uhm, adrenaline and cortisol.

 Murielle

All the hormones of.

 Murielle

Uh.

 Murielle

Stress and being ready to to fight.

 Murielle

And so this technique technique helps you calm down that response in your body so you can have access to your brain and you can deal with the situation without being true.

 Murielle

Triggered.

 Murielle

Because sometimes we as parents when our teenager is triggering us, we regress and we're suddenly 6 year old fighting with a also a 6 year old because they're also triggered and they also regress and it doesn't lead us to.

 Murielle

Good results, so when you're able to stay in your center and stay the mature parent that you really are, things go so much better because you don't react to their either provocation or their attitude, or they are whatever they're throwing at.

 Murielle

So that's what I'm doing now.

 Murielle

I'm helping moms fight.

 Murielle

The spiraling down like not go there to a point where it becomes, sometimes debilitating and have a more harmonious relationship with their teens because it goes so fast.

 Murielle

I already have my daughter is out and she went to college and came back.

 Marie

Yes.

 Murielle

It goes so fast so we might as well.

 Murielle

Appreciate.

 Marie

It does definitely.

 Murielle

Yeah.

 Marie

And you mentioned that you wanted to offer something to readers.

 Marie

Oh yes, the listeners.

 Marie

Yeah those.

 Murielle

I'm sorry I forgot.

 Marie

Don't worry, don't worry.

 Murielle

So on my on my website singlemomsdoingitall.com there is a kit that's called back to peace for mums.

 Murielle

Kit.

 Murielle

And in that case you have a meditation to clear if people know about the chacras, the energy centers in the body.

 Murielle

To clear each one of your chacras so your your energy is is clear and low vibrating high.

 Murielle

A session of FT.

 Murielle

Tapping emotional freedom technique to calm yourself down after an argument so you can come back to your senses and to your centered place.

 Murielle

So you.

 Murielle

 

 Murielle

In yourself.

 Murielle

And the visualization for those moments when you have either a worry that you can't stop thinking about or let's say you had an argument with someone, your teen or someone else, and you said I should have said that.

 Murielle

And I, you know you're you're prisoner of a third loop that is a negative one and you cannot get out of it.

 Murielle

So that meditation will help you take some distance from it and also understand the message under what you're going through because our emotions are always.

 Murielle

In connected to what's going down, what's going on under the surface of our conscious mind and that way you can go and extract.

 Murielle

Maybe the limiting beliefs or the patterns, or something that would serve you to change and let go of.

 Marie

Sounds wonderful.

 Marie

I bet a lot of people could have had a benefit from.

 

Yeah.

 Murielle

Thank you yeah yeah I I get I especially the the visualization.

 Murielle

It's called emotion intervention.

 Murielle

I always get so such great feedback for this one.

 Marie

Oh yeah.

 Marie

 

 Marie

Oh yes, I bet that's great.

 Marie

How did you know how to develop these types of things?

 Marie

Is your is your day job?

 Marie

Related to this type of work.

 Murielle

Not at all.

 Murielle

So I I graduated College in finance and accounting, so although that serves me today in my business and that's great.

 

Ah.

 Murielle

Uhm, since I was I would say in high school people started coming to me when they were in pain.

 Murielle

Somehow I have a soothing effect on people and I started really coaching when I was a chin.

 Murielle

Uhm, I remember when I was even tutoring kids in French.

 Murielle

All their grades were going up in other subjects and the mums were were like what?

 Murielle

And it's because I I have a natural talent for.

 Murielle

Seeing people strength that they are not able to see themselves.

 Marie

Oh nice.

 Marie

 

 Murielle

Oh nice and I also.

 Murielle

On an energy level like I started doing Reiki because I was doing energy work on my kids before I even learned until I discovered that I had this ability.

 Murielle

Naturally, so at a certain point I said OK, I'm coaching people all the time.

 Murielle

I might as well get certified and make money with.

 Murielle

It.

 Murielle

So I started learning, and, uh, what I the certification I did had a spiritual aspects, which is one of my passions as well, like spiritual growth and tapping.

 Murielle

I discovered it because I always learn and train do trainings.

 Murielle

And I mean I want people to.

 Murielle

Have as many tools as possible.

 Murielle

Or in their Arsenal, because sometimes some days tapping will work.

 Murielle

Some days you won't want to even hear about it when you need it.

 Murielle

Right, you need a meditation or you need something more physical.

 Murielle

So I learned I'm passionate about self development, self empowerment.

 Murielle

Uh.

 Murielle

But I also attended two of Tony Robbins Robbins programs which changed my life.

 Murielle

So I continuously learn either with or without certifications.

 Murielle

But this is something that is.

 Murielle

This is my.

 Marie

Oh, I see.

 Marie

That's really interesting.

 Marie

So my final question is, is there a story of grit and resilience that has been an inspiration for you in your life?

 Marie

So either someone that you knew or a story that you heard about when you were younger or more more recently.

 Murielle

So the one that comes to mind it's about a physical illness.

 Murielle

I don't know if you've heard about Doctor Joe Dispenza.

 Murielle

He's originally, I think he was a chiropractor and now I don't know what else, but he's teaching people to meditate in a scientific way so that you can literally come back to your true essence and create your reality from the field of.

 Murielle

All potentials and it's it does some.

 Murielle

Scientific studies on the people that he works with.

 Murielle

And his story is that if fail, I think biking and they told him that he would never walk again.

 Murielle

Of course he didn't listen and he worked with his brain and his wheel, and now he's he's doing everything he wants.

 Murielle

So that's the story that comes to mind.

 Murielle

But there are so many I mean.

 Murielle

So many people are.

 Murielle

I cultivate a habit of listening to inspirational stories or inspirational material every single day.

 Murielle

Because when I don't we are bombarded with messages of.

 Murielle

Fear and we can very easily go down into fear and live our life from fear.

 Murielle

So I make it a point to be in charge of my daily conditioning because no matter what, we are conditioned so I must might as well choose by conditioning instead of letting society and the world conditioning me.

 Marie

Yes, that that makes total sense.

 Marie

And I I agree that when I hear stories of grit and resilience, it really propels me forward.

 Marie

You know, it makes me feel grateful for what I have, and I've inspired by other people who have overcome huge obstacles.

 Marie

That's why I started podcasting.

 Murielle

Oh yeah, so I'm sure when you have people on your podcast who tell stories of overcoming challenges, it also feeds you.

 Murielle

It is nurturing this this.

 Murielle

This hope and this joyful life in you probably.

 Marie

Absolutely, yeah, definitely.

 Marie

Well, those are all my questions.

 Marie

It's just been a wonderful time getting to know you, Muriel.

 

Yeah.

 Murielle

Oh, it's wonderful for me too.

 Murielle

I love.

 Marie

Doing that, yeah, I I I wish you luck in getting to Israel.

 Murielle

Thank you, that will happen at some point.

 Murielle

But you know, whatever you can't control, like the timing of that thing that has been going on for a few more.

 Murielle

I mean that's OK.

 Murielle

Meanwhile I'm I'm I love America and I have a roof above my head and everything is fine.

 Marie

Good, well, it's good that you're you're flexible about that, because who knows what?

 Murielle

I mean.

 Marie

Who knows what the what.

 Marie

The next year will will bring, right?

 Murielle

Yeah, if I've learned something with my my experience.

 Murielle

Of depression and coming back is don't try to control what you can't control.

 Murielle

And that's why when I teach people I I I teach Co parenting with the universe because there is a side where it's your area of power and you should develop the skills and the talents and everything to act.

 Murielle

Take action in that area.

 Murielle

The rest build the trust that the same power that keeps you alive and protects.

 Murielle

2.

 Murielle

Does the rest for all the people you love and life is on your side because it will freeze so much energy to not invest your energy in something that you cannot control.

 Murielle

And it's not your job to control.

 Marie

Absolutely, I agree.

 Marie

Well, thank you so much for talking to me today, Muriel.

 Murielle

Thank you, thank you for having me, it's a pleasure.

 Marie

It's great to meet you, yeah?

 Marie

I I will be in touch when I I think that this will probably air in a couple of months couple couple of months out but I will let you know and that.

 Murielle

That's about ready to happen.

 Murielle

That way I can share it.

 Murielle

That's that's good.

 Marie

Yes, definitely.

 Marie

Thank you so much for your.

 Marie

So much period.

 Marie

Help.

 Marie

 

 Marie

Have a great day.

 Murielle

YouTube.

 Marie

You too OK bye bye.