Charity Auctioneer Raises 1 Billion For Nonprofits and is Breaking Industry Barriers, with Lydia Fenet

Lydia Fenet is one of the most successful charity auctioneers in the world. She has a two-decade career as a charity auctioneer and has raised over one BILLION dollars for more than 800 organizations and broken-down countless barriers for women in the auction industry.

While honing her skills as a charity auctioneer at night, during the day, she worked at Christie's as the Global Managing Director of Strategic Partnerships. She basically had two full-time jobs.

She now runs the Lydia Fenet Agency, which is a boutique auctioneering agency representing best in class charity auctioneers and training the next generation of talent.

She takes over 70 auctions a year and has graced the stage for the largest grossing charity events in the world including Robin Hood, The Naples Winter Wine Festival, Tipping Point, The Elton John Aids Foundation, the Breast Cancer Research Foundation and over a thousand more. She also has stood alongside celebrities including Bruce Springsteen, Hugh Jackman, Elton John, Matt Damon and Jerry Seinfeld.

Lydia is the author of two best-selling books, The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You and Claim Your Confidence and is the host of the "Claim Your Confidence" podcast.   

Contact Info:
Lydia Fenet - Guest
Lydia's LinkedIn account
Lydia's website

Julie Berman - Host
www.womenwithcooljobs.com
@womencooljobs (Instagram)
Julie Berman's LinkedIn Profile 

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Transcript

Lydia Fenet: 0:00

and all those things were running in tandem with my auctioneering, which as I told you before, was a completely different job. So I've had two jobs since I was 24 years old. My job at night was unpaid. I was a volunteer auctioneer for Christie's which now that I say that out loud with a business, a business underneath me, it still seems crazy that I did it for so long as a volunteer. But then on the other side, I was running a global team. So I would be in the office all day. And as I added three children into the mix, I would go home, put the babies to bed, and then go back out and take auctions. And now my kids are usually awake when I get home from the auctions. They are not supposed to be, but they usually are. And that was kind of those were my two lives and have always really been my two lives.

Julie- Host: 0:48

Hey, everybody, I'm Julie and welcome to Women with cool jobs. Each episode will feature women with unique trailblazing and innovative careers. We'll talk about how she got here, what life is like now, and actionable steps that you can take to go on a similar path or one that's all your own. This podcast is about empowering you is about empowering you to dream big and to be inspired. You'll hear from incredible women in a wide variety of fields, and hopefully some that you've never heard of before. Women who build robots and roadways, firefighters, C suite professionals surrounded by men, social media mavens entrepreneurs, and I'm so glad we get to go on this journey together. Hello, everybody. This is Julie Berman, and welcome to another episode of women with cool jobs. So I hope you are having an amazing beginning to your new year. I promised you some incredible guests this year. And I am starting out with a big this was such a fun episode to record. Today's guest Her name is Lydia Finet. And she is a charity auctioneer, meaning that she goes to these often very huge events and sells items that are often donated by different individuals or organizations to help raise funds for a charity organization. And she has been doing this for over two decades on the side of working at Christie's. So this is mind blowing to me because she was in her last position right before she started and became the founder and CEO of the Lydia fauna agency. She worked as a global Managing Director of Strategic Partnerships for Christie's. And I just like my mind is blown because she also has three kids. So she's been doing basically two jobs at Christie's and doing her work for the charity auctions. And she has three kids. And she is an author. She's written two books, Her most recent book is claim your confidence. And she also has a podcast under the same name. So I have literally so in awe, she was so much fun to talk to so charismatic and funny, such an amazing storyteller. And I say all these things and point this out also, because this is part of her job like these are learned skills that she has mastered. And that has allowed her to now start her own company and lead her own company based on all this hard work and all these things that she's really honed all the skills that she's honed like the soft skills, the hard skills, all the relationships that she's made. And she's also doing one of the coolest jobs, I love that she is raising money for charities. And this is so important. Like if you think about it, and if you've ever worked for charity I worked very briefly a long time ago as an intern at Boys and Girls Club. And it is so important for them to raise their funds yearly like they rely so much on so many different things, whether it's grants, whether it's these charity auctions, and those outcomes, they truly affect how much they can do and how much they can serve their their people, their populations who they are helping. So I love her job. It is so rad. I love her. I know you're going to enjoy this conversation. And just a few more stats before you get to listen to her. She is one of the most successful charity auctioneers in the world. She has raised over 1 billion with a B $1 billion for more than 800 organizations, and she has broken down countless barriers for women in the auction industry. This is so so key. Other cool facts is the fact that she has worked with some really, really rad people during the auctions. So she's stood alongside celebrities, including Bruce Springsteen, Hugh Jackman, Elton John, Matt Damon and Jerry Seinfeld to raise Record breaking donations. She also has worked at some of the biggest charity events in the world, including Robin Hood, the Naples winter Wine Festival, tipping point, the Elton John AIDS Foundation, and Breast Cancer Research Foundation and over 1000 more. Wow, does that blow your mind? So needless to say, she is a woman of many, many incredible accomplishments, and so many cool jobs. I know you're gonna love her and love this conversation, please, if you find this conversation to be so fun and awesome, please share it out with at least one other person who you know is going to be inspired, who's going to love it, who's maybe you're going to be interested in learning about her career, or shall I say careers and her cool job. That is what helps us spread the word about the possibilities that exist in the world. And having this idea that we as women can be do and have everything. So thank you for being here. Thank you for taking your time with me. And enjoy this conversation between me and Lydia. are right, so I am so excited to have Lydia Finet today on the show. Welcome. Welcome.

Lydia Fenet: 6:11

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Julie- Host: 6:15

So you have so many cool jobs. And I like we're gonna talk in depth about some of the details of what you do. Because you've done so many different things you most infer, first and foremost, you are a charity auctioneer. And now you have your own agency of people who are also helping you do these incredible charity auctions, you have auctioned off some, I mean, amazing, incredible number of things. But I have here that you've raised over $1 billion dollars for more than 800 organizations. That I mean, it's mind blowing, it's phenomenal. And I've watched some videos of you that you know, are on YouTube. And I know also you have an art, you're an author, you have two books. So you can get into that a little bit. And you also worked at Christie's, so you just have like so many cool jobs that we can talk about. So I'm super excited. Thank you for being here.

Lydia Fenet: 7:11

Oh my gosh, when I heard you had a podcast called a woman who were women who have cool jobs, it really, it really spoke to me in a huge way. Because I do feel like I have nine different jobs. And I love them all equally. But they are a little bizarre. So it's so fun to be on this podcast.

Julie- Host: 7:29

I love that. I love that's my favorite, though. Like it's so magical to learn about what jobs existed and like what we don't know to know about. It's so I'm so excited. Have you. So first, I want to have you talk about your current cool job like the one where you're doing it so much of the time. If you can explain like what does it mean to be a charity auctioneer and just kind of give for people who maybe never thought about that, like, what does that mean? And what do you do?

Lydia Fenet: 7:59

Well, the easiest way to describe what I do is by telling you what I don't do, I am not a cattle auctioneer. So when you think of livestock auctioneering that is not what I do. The type of auctioneer that I am is a charity auctioneer, which essentially is the person who stands on stage at a huge fundraising event, you might have seen these in the movies before, you know, it's like everyone's dressed in black tie. And they're going to some beautiful event. And there are lots of roundtables where people are sipping champagne. This is every night of my life. And I'm the person who goes on stage and then makes everyone in the audience who thinks they're going to give a little bit of money to the charity give a ton of money to the charity. And the lots which are essentially what we're talking about when we talked about the items that were selling the lots. Those are typically things that have been donated to the nonprofit. So you know, maybe someone on the board of the charity has a really beautiful home that they don't use year round, and they donate it or they have great seats that they've been able to get through a friend to a an amazing sporting event. All of those things are put up for auction. I stand on stage. And basically I get up there and I try to make the crowd feel great and fun. And then I just take all their money. And that's really what I do. And I do it late at night. I'm usually on stage somewhere between 830 and 10 o'clock at night, which in New York is kind of the middle of the night. But I think everywhere else it is the end of the night by far right. I've been doing it for over two decades. And so I left as you referenced before I had worked for Christie's for two decades. And I left last year and started an auctioneering agency simply because I've been doing it for so long. And I'm very well known in this very particular field. And as a result of that I get a lot of requests that I can't take. And I realized that if I were going to be sending people out on stages to make money for nonprofits, and in many cases make their operating budget for the year that I had to be laser focused and make sure that the people who are going on those stages are talented, well trained and really understand what they're doing. So Um, I left Christie's and I basically grabbed a bunch of people who I trained over the years, or people who I knew would be good on stage and I train them up. And now I send them all over the country taking auctions as part of Lydia for that agency, which has been a really incredible, incredible thing to watch happen. I mean, to put your name on something that you really feel like you own and watch it grow is probably one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life.

Julie- Host: 10:23

That's amazing. And thank you for that really good overview of what you do. I went to an event last year, and it was my first time actually, they did do like a very short auction. And, yeah, and, and it was really cool to see. And so having that reference point, and then meeting you is just so interesting, because I think about it in a different way. You know, and like the just watching you and having seen all your videos, you just like you have so much fun. The audience's engaged. It's like the it's fast paced, but you're throwing in jokes. And it's just like you, I can tell, right? Even just having this podcast, it's like, there's so much work that I know, that goes into that like creating that vibe in the room, and like you're bringing your energy and so it's just, it's fun to even watch the videos not being in the room, I was very entertained. So, yeah, so it's, yeah, I'm so excited to learn more about what you do. And now your your agency that you're growing, and I can see also to like how that would be so key to have people who you know, are gonna really be doing a good job, right? Like, if you're saying, I, I'm trusting this person to come help you. And it's a nonprofit like that is, it's a big deal, right? If you don't make your numbers.

Lydia Fenet: 11:43

So the difference between a program happening or, you know, a clinical trial taking place, and I never forget that when I get on stage. I mean, I've been doing this over 20 years, and I still burst into tears either backstage before I go on watching videos for nonprofits, or sometimes when I get off stage, if we've hit the number, or like the stretch goal that they say, I mean, there was one this, this season that they said to me, like, there's just no way we're gonna get it, which of course means like, I'm gonna get that number for you. And I just got on stage. And it was like every trick in the book over 20 years doing the 70 nights a year, I just know what it takes, I know what to say, I know all of the ways that can you can move an audience to do something as a group of people. And all that is learned by it's been, people always say to me, they're like, oh, my gosh, you're such a natural. And I just laugh because I think my first auction which was such a disaster in the auction so many times that are such a disaster in those early years as you're trying to work through what it takes to get control over the 1000 people, make them pay attention, make them entertained, make them laugh and make them give money at the same time. And how many times I just couldn't do it. And so I would say to anyone who's listening as you think about a cool job or something, understand that no matter what it looks like from the outside in, it's really such an important part of becoming good at your job, really trusting the process and understanding that to master something to become an expert takes practice in time. And you have to set your ego aside, you have to realize they're going to be people who are better at you better at it for a long time. And what I say to people all the time is like I learned something every night I get on stage, a new joke, a new trick, a new way to move my body at a certain time. And all of those things come together night after night after night. And I still feel like I can take another 1000 auctions and will still learn something every time every single time I get up there. Yeah,

Julie- Host: 13:37

oh my gosh, that's amazing. I didn't even think about like your body movements or movements on stage as a factor like I was thinking more of the the spoken versus the quiet moments, maybe because I've been podcasting. That's it, I think. So that's really fascinating. We'll have to get into that a little bit about the nuances. I want to I want to ask you about your childhood, though first and like a little bit about how did you end up in this career, because you talked about a little bit offline. And then I want you to also maybe share a bit about how you ended up at Christie's. But also like how you ended up doing these charity auctions, because the those are very different places, and spaces. So I'm curious, like, how did how did you get into this field? Or how did you even hear about it? What was what was that journey? Like?

Lydia Fenet: 14:24

I love that question. Because I've lived in New York for 25 years. And if you if you know me, if you knew me and met me at any event, people always like So you grew up in New York, which always makes me laugh because I do feel like a New Yorker. But there's the other half of my life where I grew up in Louisiana. I grew up in a town called Lake Charles and I swam all the time in the lake and literally lived on a boat as a child and now I have this totally different city life. But those early years for me were nothing related to the auction world or the art world. My parents were not art collectors. They were travelers because my mom is British. So we did go to museums when we go visit her family in England, we would go pretty much every summer and just stay with my aunts all over England. And it was such a wonderful part of my childhood and my existence. But I had no idea about the auction world until I was in college, I read an article in Vanity Fair magazine about Princess Diana's dresses being sold at this place called Christie's Auction House, in New York, on Park Avenue, and everybody was dressed up, and they were going to this amazing event. And everything in my life is a result of something that's captured my imagination, like once I get something in my head, and anybody who knows me will tell you this is true. If I want to get it done, or I want to figure it out, even if it takes 20 years, I will get it done. And I will figure it out. And I read that article, and that article for me was like, I've got to work at this place. I mean, glamorous people on Park Avenue, New York City all dressed up going to work, what it had nothing to do with the art. It was not the behind the scenes, it was always just this idea I had about what the auction world would be. And through a series of just happenstance, I was able to secure the internship coordinators information at Christie's and I basically stalked her for two straight weeks, until I got her until I got her to agree to let me come into the RT closed waitlist for Christi summer internship program. And once I got in the door, I mean, they could not get me to leave. I was like anything I could do to stay. I was so happy to be there. And honestly, my first job I remember was like I was editing out the names of one department that had been changed to another department on just piles and piles of paper, and shredding paper. I mean, it was nothing related to anything glamorous or fancy. But I just felt that I wanted to be there. And I loved being there. And so I was willing to do anything to stay. And that really was what happened. The auctioneering came into that four years after I got it full time job there. And I ended up trying out I had seen auctioneers taking charity auctions, because I worked in the events department, and we would accompany the auctioneers to these charity galleries. So we would be the women the black dresses spotting for the male auctioneer who was on stage. And a lot of the auctioneers at that time were art auctioneers, meaning that they had been trained to stand in a rostrum which is basically like a podium, and a very close space. And with very sort of formal arm movements sell things for billion are millions and millions of dollars. At that point, we weren't in a billion dollars. And then they would go to these charity gala is where you have a huge stage. Remember what I was saying about body movements. And it was like they almost didn't know what to do, they couldn't translate that art auctioneering style that was so affordable. And it was all about the sophistication of your wording and the increments into this sort of bustling room of people who weren't paying attention and didn't want to. And I can remember even at that age thinking like this is not working out. And half of them would say before they got up, like I hate this. Like I literally hate doing this. And to me, it just seemed like this challenge. And so up until that point, the only people who could even try out to be auctioneers were people who were officers in the company, so they had to be much older, they were pretty much all male, because there's all the senior people when I started over 20 years ago, were male. And they basically opened up the charity auctioneering to the entire company, they were like, We need a deeper bench. We don't have enough people, they don't want to do it. They let us all try out. So I think there were over 20 of us who went down to this room called the woods room. And we sat there over four days. And they just kept cutting people every day. And it was like a trial for anything else. You just got cut. And my name kept coming up on the list every day. And I remember on the fourth day, which was the final day, I was still on the list, and we had to go in one by one. And the message to me was, well, we don't know what we're going to do with you. But you can just take the auctions that nobody else wants to take. And I remember thinking like, I'm so excited. I've been sitting at my desk for three years answering the phone, like get me on a plane, I'll go anywhere. And so sure enough, I went out to Kansas City and that disastrous first auction that I told you about took place. I mean, I could not have been more sad and horrified when I got off stage because people just talked over me the whole time I thought it was going to come on stage like this new hotshot and it was nothing like that. But you know, I learned I got back even though I didn't really feel like I should I kept going on that stage. I kept challenging myself to learn new and ultimately, that's what resulted in this career. Wow.

Julie- Host: 19:31

That is an epic. I mean, it's just like even how you got interested. And Christy's like, that's such an epic story. And I love like your tenacity and just like you're you did not give up. That's just my favorite how you convince them to let you in. And then just like where it's like you. So I want to hear a little bit about like, what was your job at Christie's? Most recently because I know that was different than do Doing these charity auctions, which you were doing also separately. So I'm just curious, like, what was that job? And what I guess were there skills there that you are utilizing that help you? Or vice versa, where there are skills that you've learned as an auctioneer that helped you in your job at Christie's? Because you had been there for so long? I imagine you were doing some pretty incredible things there. Like that's such a cool organization to be at.

Lydia Fenet: 20:27

Yeah, absolutely. So I ran a team for a department called strategic partnerships, which I had started at the company. So I ran events for my first decade at Christie's. And after about a decade, I realized that there was an opportunity to create a partnerships division. And this kind of goes back to career advice that I would give for anyone, I think a lot of times, especially pre COVID, when we were in this very work, work, work mode, we all would look around and be like, Okay, well, the office ladder says that this is the next place that I can be promoted. And this is the next bonus structure. And I should talk to this person about what that looks like. You have to take control of your career, it took me about a decade to realize this in my job, but you can't let somebody who's working in HR for three years be the person who's going to determine what your job and where you're gonna go, looks like in a company, you have to map that out for yourself. And you have to let people know that that's what you want to do. It's not always going to work. But luckily, in my case, after a decade there, when I saw this white space for partnerships, I pitched it internally to the right people, and kind of got the support, I had a lot of brand equity. At that point, I'd been there for a decade, I was doing a really good job as head of events. And I was well liked in the organization because I invested in the people around me and my relationships. And so as a result of that, they let me launch the strategic partnerships division for Christie's. And basically what that means it's a very big title. That essentially means if an outside brand wanted to work with Christie's, I would create an entire partnership proposal for them, which would have a lot of different moments of activation, their clients could come see a preview of world class art, we could bring art to a hotel, if it was a hotel brand. If it was a car random, we could park a car on the plaza, and have our clients shuttled back and forth to VIP events. You know, there's so many things that are done now. But at that time, partnerships was kind of a burgeoning department in every industry. So it was really exciting and really fun. And that, for me was a really fun way to be an entrepreneur within a company with an existing brand. So I learned a lot about running a business, what it looks like to have a p&l on both sides, to that good and bad, how to build a team, how to start over when a team isn't working, how to hire and fire, and ultimately how to navigate being a really strategic manager for the people who are working for you, and hopefully showing up for them the way that you want to day after day. And all of those things. Were running in tandem with my auctioneering, which as I told you before, was a completely different job. So I've had two jobs since I was 24 years old. My job at night was unpaid. I was a volunteer auctioneer for Christie's which now that I say that out loud with a business, a business underneath me, it still seems crazy that I did it for so long as a volunteer. But then on the other side, I was running a global team. So I would be in the office all day. And as I added three children into the mix, I would go home with the babies to bed, and then go back out and take auctions. And now my kids are usually awake when I get home from the auctions. They usually are. And that was kind of those were my two lives and have always really been my two lives. Wow.

Julie- Host: 23:32

I love that. And I love I love hearing that you're a mom, I'm also a mom of three. So I just like love that you've been doing this. And it's clear, you're so passionate about both, both those things that you did. And also it's really interesting that your experience that you realize 10 years and I think that's an amazing thing to actually realize that you have to make your own career path. And that you made that opportunity for yourself and that you had those relationships and that trust within the company. I I think that's something that I'm learning, like my word of the year is actually strategic or strategy this year, because I think that's something that I'm learning for myself. I've been out of corporate now for a little bit, but it's just fascinating. I feel like I'm learning these lessons maybe a little bit later than some people but I'm like at least I'm learning them at some point. Because I think that's such a valuable lesson to people listening is like, we don't have to follow the typical path or a typical track. And if you see an opportunity, like go for it. I I'm curious like I want to ask you how did you or how do you now even make relationships that do allow you to have that next opportunity because I'm imagining even now with what you're doing and having this new company that you are relying on the not only sort of your Are your legacy that you've already left, you know, with all the work that you've done, but also those relationships and those people who really do trust in you who know what you can, what you can do, and like also knowing people who can help you, and creating these outcomes for different organizations, how have you gone about building those relationships and maintaining them and growing them? I

Lydia Fenet: 25:23

think that networking is the most important thing that we do in our lives, you see the fruits of your labor of your relationships over the course of a career, both above you and below you. I would say without a doubt, everything you've just said is true. You know, I was on a call this morning with an event company that's hired me nonstop for the past 10 years, probably four or five auctions a year. And they came to me with the date in April, it's January. I mean, I probably have four free nights left for the entire year, people book a full year in advance now. And so I have no, I have no desire to stop taking 70 Auctions a year. I love taking auctions. So I'll continue doing that forever. People keep saying, Well, you built this auctioneering business. So you can you can take less and like No, actually, I love being on stage. I have no desire to take less. But I want to be able to make sure that if I can't be there, I know the person who's going to be there is going to be great. And so we were just having this conversation this morning. They were like, well, they really wanted you and I was like, No, I understand. But I can't, you know, I used to do two and a night and it just gets a little stressful, especially with traffic, you just never know. And so unless the auctions are like early, early and late, late, I just don't do it anymore. And I said to them, I was like, You're right, you guys know that I would never send you someone who didn't have incredible panache on stage wasn't super stylish and said we'd say all the right things at the right time. And they were all laughing. And I was like, I would just would never send anyone who didn't have those three components. Because I know that's what they're looking for when I show up. And so whoever I'm hiring, I had someone call me a couple of weeks ago, they're like, I just saw this incredible woman on stage. She was kind of dirty, a little bit raunchy, but so funny. And I think she'd be a great auctioneer. And I was like, I have no doubt that she would be a great auctioneer, that I can't represent someone like that, because I would never in a million years throughout a joke that was raunchy or inappropriate. I'm so glad other people are doing it. I love that. That's their style, that if I'm sending someone that I want to represent, that's not what I'm looking for. And so I think that that's really been a huge part of like, this entire process for me is figuring out what that looks like and making sure I'm honoring that network that we're talking about. And I think when it goes back to your career, like, Don't ever think that everybody that you are looking for something from can't also get something from you. So often I find people will be like, well, I need this from this person, and why are they doing all these things. And I'm like, all you're doing is asking for someone who's done more in their life than you have. So think about what you bring to that equation. There's so many young people right now who have so much knowledge about things that people my age don't like, I would say to you, if you're reaching out to someone from informational interview be like, I would love 15 minutes of your time. And if there's anything in my skill set that I can offer to you like, please let me know. And then the other thing I would say is always be generous with your introductions, be willing to introduce people and be willing to take that 15 minute call. Because ultimately, that's what grows your network and people never forget that. I mean, I'm telling you, Julie, I can't tell you how many people I've done information, informational interviews with over the course of my career, who I still run into in New York, I have no recollection of the interview whatsoever. I mean, it was 15 minutes in my office. And he'd be like, you remember, we were sitting in your office, it was such a snowy day. And I'm like, I literally did this, that that was so meaningful to them that they still can tell me what the weather that day. And I know that I have people like that who have offered their time or their help for me over the course of my career. And I have honored their time by doing what I wanted to do when I got there and trying to be reciprocal in what I'm asking for.

Julie- Host: 28:50

That's great advice. It's funny, you mentioned that because I did informational interviews is a very young person. I'm a huge fan. I just realized like one person who I did it with is beginning of my careers. He there's an announcement that he's retiring, and I was like, oh, like I just still have good memories at the same thing. You know? So yeah, you should email him. I mean, I should. Like, that's

Lydia Fenet: 29:10

it. I mean, it's like, I save time. And like if you think of someone, text them, email them, like, it's so weird, because I often find that I mean, I did it this morning with a friend of mine. She's like, That is so weird. I literally was thinking about you at the exact same time. So I would just say to people, like, just don't be don't be a person of scarcity when it comes to networking and friendships and investing in people be a person of abundance. I mean, I had 13 bridesmaids in my wedding and I really had to cut down the list because my husband, five friends, he was like you got to stop. But I think they'll all be really upset. He's like, I don't think they will be you have to stop asking people I love that. I think that that's the same in the network like you just like someone I read a quote once that I repeat all the time and I wish it was mine but like everyone that you meet over the course of your life knows something in someone you do not right so They can add something or introduce you to someone and vice versa. So yeah,

Julie- Host: 30:03

that's a beautiful quote. I love that. Yeah. So I want to first take a time because I have so many more questions about your job. But I want to move on to like, kind of what are some of the hard and soft skills? And I actually hate those words, but like everyone understands them. So what are some of the hard and soft skills that you use as someone who does these charity auctions or like techniques, because I noticed I made just some notes, I just thought, because I wanted to make sure to mention only things like when I was watching, you're very like funny, you're clever, you're insanely likable, silly, like you're quick on your feet, you're very quick to pivot and adapt. And so I know all of these are like very well honed, very purposeful things that you've done on stage and that you've learned to do. How does that all work? Or like, can you explain like some of the things that you found important is as part of this job, or even at Christie's if you want to mention that, too? Yeah,

Lydia Fenet: 30:58

I mean, I think you've kind of hit the nail on the head. I mean, it's really the ability to pivot, right? One of the things I say to all the charity auctioneers, when I'm training them is the sky is always blue and charity auctioneering. It's, it's literally hell is like burning the place down, you are still up there with a smile, like nothing's going wrong. Because at the end of the day, you're leading the whole charge. And if you look rattled, and you look like you don't know what's going on, you're gonna lose the audience in two seconds. And I think that goes across all categories. You know, when I teach public speaking to people, I say the same thing, there are two things that I say before you go on stage A, and you said this earlier, you bring the energy you want from the room, I can't say too late at night, people are tired, they've been there for the long time, I come out like I am Vanna White on The Price is Right every night, like, I have never been happier to be anywhere in my entire life, I haven't been waiting for two hours, because they got the timing wrong, like, you would never know it. Because when I'm on stage, I'm having nothing but fun and the audience is there for the ride. And I do that even when I do speeches, because nobody likes watching a bad public speaker. And if you're giving a really dry presentation, because the material is dry, it doesn't mean that the speech has to be dry. I think that if you really sit back and think about any time, you've had to listen to someone speak the minute, they're able to throw in like a joke or something to just make you relax a little bit, you're immediately going to watch them a little bit more closely. And I realized that on stage that if I could be I have a very dry sense of humor. And if I can bring that dry sense of humor out in a kind of light, funny way over the course of an auction, then people are waiting for the next thing. You know, at the end of an auction, there's something called a Paddle Raise, where you're asking people to raise their money, their hands to give money, they don't get any for it. So you're asking, you know, is there anyone here who would like to give $25,000 I mean, maybe, maybe not. As the person on stage, I have to be willing to accept the fact that there might not be any anyone giving, but also not let it affect me, because then everyone in the audience feels uncomfortable. And so one of those things that I find is really interesting, from stage that you can always take into anything you're doing is the ability to be comfortable with silence, and also the ability to kind of like joke and pivot out of it. So a lot of times, let's say I start that at the $25,000 level. And I say to the audience, like, is there anyone in this audience who would like to give 25,000 and I just sit there, and I wait, and I smile, and I kind of look around my sound like anyone, and everyone's shifting in their seats. And then I'll say something like, I'm gonna wait just long enough to make it really uncomfortable. And then I'll just wait. And everyone's like, Oh, my God. And then I'll look at the audience and say, Are we there yet? Eventually, nine times out of 10, someone will raise their hand because they were planning to give a huge gift. Maybe it was going to be 20,025 was more, but just because I'm comfortable up there. Everybody else is reacting to me. They're like, well, she's not going to stop until someone gives it so I might as well just given now. And it's amazing to watch the human psychology behind that. So I think what it would say is like, sort of soft skill that becomes a very hard skill is the ability to be comfortable in your own skill skin up there. And the ability to just joke it off, you know, if no one gives else. Really, I'll usually say something like, well, the girls got to ask or something. laughs like a dumb, like, how about 10? And then they'll say 10 I'm like, You know what? I also hate the number 25,000 I much prefer 10,000 or something like that. Because fine, like, if I let it affect me, then everyone's like, Oh, that was so stinking awkward. If I'm joking about it, then they're like, You know what, it's fine. Like 10,000 is great. Let's all cheer for that. And we've forgotten 25

Julie- Host: 34:35

Yeah. Wow. I love that. That's so interesting. The human psychology of it all too. i So i I'm sure people ask you this, but like, I want to ask it as like, what is the the most that you've ever done? Or if you have just like a favorite random thing that was auctioned. Like, just favorite. Like, yeah,

Lydia Fenet: 34:55

I became a car auctioneer. Last year, I had a car company a collectible car company that reached out to me and asked if I would ever be interested in becoming the first female AUCTIONEER in the collectible car industry flew out to Pebble Beach to take like their huge auctions because of the Super Bowl of car auctions. And it was such a hilarious random time and I sell these cars, I know nothing about the cars. There's a reader who tells her about the cars and then I kind of go off and there was one car I was selling last year. And there was a gentleman in the front row had kind of like a, like a 1950s newsie cap on and he was an older gentleman, and he was bidding on this cars like this huge white like, I think it was a Bentley. I mean, it was this massive white car that looks like something from like a throwback from the 20s or something like that. He started bidding on it, and there was someone on the phone, so that person was not in the room. And I I kept going back to him because I could tell he wanted the car and I was pretty sure he could afford it. The bidding just kept going. And we were well over the estimate for the car. And I started saying things about his outfit. And I remember saying something like, Sir, I don't know who's on the phone. But I assure you, they are not wearing the outfit that you are wearing, which in my opinion is perfect for that car. Remember, I got off the podium and the guys I work with pretty much all guys in the car. They could not stop laughing. They were like, Who would ever think an outfit would sell a car because ultimately he bought it. And he came over and he like, pulled his cap down as if to say like, here I am. I'm like, as I said, Perfect filler car, sir. It was so funny. And I just feel like things like that can be the most random but fun things. And that was definitely my favorite thing that I sold this fall.

Julie- Host: 36:36

I love that what a great story. I

Lydia Fenet: 36:41

papers on the side or something with like a heel click

Julie- Host: 36:45

there. Yeah, right like the jump in the air with the hero.

Lydia Fenet: 36:49

The pass of Newsies to jump out.

Julie- Host: 36:51

I love it. It's so good. I have another question. But I've just like so in this moment with you, I think that's such a great story I want to ask about because you have some great books that you've written. And I haven't read anything but the intro of your newest one, but I pulled out a quote and then I want you to just tell us a little bit. So your newest ones claim your confidence. And I really loved some of the things but I wanted to share this and and I'd love for you to just kind of expand a little bit about it. Because I think I think it was either my first podcast interview almost four years ago, or my second one was a woman talking about confidence. It was Carol Sancar. And she talked about basically like you can make a deposit into your confidence bank every day. And it literally like I should go thank her I should write her an email on the same way, you know, I'd write an email together together, man, but the informational interview because it literally like changed completely how I think about confidence. And so I love that you've written this book, you have this quote, and it says, If you're going to claim your confidence, this will be a part of your journey. You have to put yourself in situations where you are putting yourself out there and we're failure. And we're failure is a very real possibility. And I mean that like it's a little bit hard. Like that's like a hard truth. I would love for you to speak about that. And just like why is that part of being confident. Because

Lydia Fenet: 38:17

if you are living the life that is so easy, then you never test yourself. You never push yourself out of the the four walls of your comfortable life and therefore you don't know what you're capable of. I wrote that in the first chapter of the book I read about a book launch with for my first book, The most powerful woman in the room as you which was honestly everything I'd ever wanted in my entire life. Like I had been waiting to be discovered since I was four years old. Now I'm in my 40s. So it might not happen, guys. But I've been waiting to be like famous since I was four years old. That's the truth. I can remember walking down the street being like it's a matter of and I wrote that book and I was at Christie's it was kind of the height of Girlboss nation. I mean, it was 2019. It was right before COVID We had no idea what was coming. I launched it at Christie's With 100 powerful women in the boardroom of the company I'd worked in for 20 years, surrounded by my colleagues. I mean, it was really such a moment I went on the today's show is like all of the things I've ever wondered. I've lived in New York for over 20 years. And and I can't even tell you, I mean, it was like living a dream. And I went out to San Francisco for the second part of the book tour and had a book event in the morning in this huge book event that night. And I remember like getting up and going for a run. It was like the most beautiful blue sky day and I got to the book event that was happening in San Francisco and it was 50 people coming in for this book talk and it was moderated with the charity auctioneer. And I walked in three minutes before it started and there was one person there. One person on and I say in the book, people think that confidence comes when you're in the boardroom of your company where you've worked for 20 years with 100 people being like you are amazing. No, that is the cherry on the top. Confidence comes. The day after that when you walk into a room with one person you Do you have to give a book talk for eventually five people who you've recruited from the bookstore, one of whom is the bookstore owner, and the other one is your sister's best friend. That is where you become confident, then I tell that story in the book, because I think we hold so close those stories of failure, because it makes us feel like we're not achieving things when what you really don't realize is that everybody has those day in and day out. And I will tell you now, I mean, 2024, for me is the year of putting the fun in failure. I mean, I am putting a stake in the ground, I am trying so many different things with my new company, some of them are working, some of them are absolutely not working. And I, literally my sister, and I, and I call her I mean, I launched this line of gavel necklaces, and I said to my husband, I was like, we're gonna have to get a second, we're gonna have to get a second thing to get all the overflow from when I launched this, I have 100 of them, it's going to sell out five seconds flat. I mean, I launched it anything to sold in the first instance, my gavel necklaces, if anybody wants one, I was like, maybe it's not my strike method and a necklace, maybe it's to remind me like, not to get too big for my britches, and to remind myself that even when things are going well, other things won't and you just have to get over it and move forward. And I think that that's really what it's about. And so I this year, I'm celebrating the things that don't go well, because I feel like it's just me trying more things and you know, something's gonna stick. It always does. You just don't know which one it is. And I truly believe that any entrepreneur, any person who's been successful in your life will tell you the same thing. Like, the more you put yourself out there, the more you're going to fail, but the more success you're gonna have, because you're trying different things. Yeah.

Julie- Host: 41:34

Yeah. I love that putting the fun and failure. I mean, that's pretty magical. Yeah, ready.

Lydia Fenet: 41:39

Third book, which I'm writing. I'm supposed to be writing, like all the time that I'm writing right now.

Julie- Host: 41:46

That's awesome. Congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, I, I think I saw that one of your phrases on your website was like, has gavel will travel. Did I get it? Right? Well, we'll

Lydia Fenet: 41:57

travel. Yeah.

Julie- Host: 41:59

I love that. And, yeah, I think the idea of just being willing to do things that are uncomfortable, and that you could fail that is so uncomfortable, but it also to your point, it's how you actually also get to do pretty epic things. Right? Like you don't get to the epic, unless you get through that, like, uncomfortable or the parts where you fail. I think that is that's a really cool. That is a really cool way to approach this New Year. I might have to adopt some of that for myself. I love it. Yeah,

Lydia Fenet: 42:36

I'm not claiming it as my own. I just, that's what I'm planning to do. So hop on board, I'm more excited about all the things that aren't going to work out because then they're more fodder for books. Yeah, there you go. eatable. Like, I remember in that first chapter, I'd been writing all about like the Christie's dinner, or like, beautiful blue sky day in San Francisco, I honestly had gone to the Golden Gate Bridge and had the Uber take me to the Golden Gate Bridge to stand next to it with my book. It said like San Francisco here I come like first books, you know, book tours, stop starting and when our whatever. And then and I said in the book like you guys getting a little sick of this perky perfection, because this story is about take a real U turn. They made me laugh when I was writing it because everybody's like reading it, just like this girl is nauseating. And then all of a sudden, it's like, oh, okay, and like it feels a little good to watch somebody who you think is like killing it have a moment of stumble? And we all do. But I think if we don't tell you about it, everybody's like that person's totally unrelatable which we're not relatable. Everybody goes through it. It's just how you choose to pivot out of it. Yeah.

Julie- Host: 43:42

I mean, I did read this right. And it's very powerful story. And I think it goes to illustrate, like so many of your points that like walking through those moments and like getting on the other side, right? Those are the moments that show us really who we are and what we can accomplish, and that we can keep going. Yeah,

Lydia Fenet: 44:01

absolutely. Like you don't why it doesn't feel great. Don't get me wrong. I would love to not have heard I'd love to not have like 60 gavel necklaces sitting in my living room. But you know what? I'm gonna give them away at the retreat that I'm doing and do we set actually, I never thought we'd sell out and we're we're like, a couple spots away, you know? And so I said to my husband, I was like, Who would have thought it like a $95 gavel necklace. Nobody wants that. People want to come to this retreat for four days in the Hamptons in the middle of January. Like I would never I would have put all my money on the gavel necklace is selling out and much less, much less on the retreat. But there you are. That's how you learn. Oh,

Julie- Host: 44:36

I love that. I'm sure it's because they think you're awesome. And they just want to be around you. So

Lydia Fenet: 44:41

we'll see. Four days is a long time. Very good. Reviews, guys. Yeah,

Julie- Host: 44:45

they can report back right? Yeah. That

Lydia Fenet: 44:48

might be another chapter in my hands on failure. Hopefully not though.

Julie- Host: 44:52

I doubt it. So I want to ask really quickly like for people who are interested in in particular about being charity auctioneer? Are there any resources or anything that you could share with them for people who want to just kind of like, look into this career? Because maybe they've never heard about it before?

Lydia Fenet: 45:09

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, first and foremost, I would say if there's even an inkling of interest, the first thing you want to do is make sure that you're doing as much public speaking as possible, during the class, join an improv class, those are the things that are going to make you really good on stage. And then depending where you are, there are tons of different charity auctioneers who are out there working. And you can always ask one to shadow them start going to them to see their style. And ultimately, it becomes a question of Senator putting yourself out there and getting on stage donating your time getting some practice, the only thing that makes you better is practice. So if you're not in a huge city, like New York, or Los Angeles, where there are auction houses that have that, that would probably be the best way to do it.

Julie- Host: 45:49

Okay, great. Thank you. And I want to wrap up by asking my favorite question that I asked everybody, and it is will us please share a sentence with us that uses verbiage or jargon from your field, and then translate it so it's understandable to us? Yes.

Lydia Fenet: 46:05

I'm gonna grab my gavel and go get on the rostrum and take a couple of lots for the sale. So I think I've explained a little bit of this over the course of the interview, but my gavel is, obviously you guys have seen a gavel, I have one that I take with me everywhere have gavel will travel. And I use it to bang it down three times to start the auction wherever I go. It's almost like my Dumbo feather. And if I don't have it, I just use something else that the gavel is a huge piece. So I have my gavel, I'm gonna go get on the rostrum, or the podium, or you know, whatever is up there that you stand behind to kind of give yourself that authority at the beginning of the auction. And take a couple of lots I told you guys earlier, those are items that you're selling from the sale. And you guys know what to say on this? Yes, yes, we

Julie- Host: 46:47

do. Awesome. Thank you. That was such a good sentence. Well, Lydia, it was such a pleasure to have you on WomenwithCoolJobs. And I just know you have so many incredible things to come. So feel free if you want to share really quickly about your book about where people can find you, and all the way to connect to go for it. Absolutely.

Lydia Fenet: 47:07

So I'm very active on Instagram, which is at Lydia Finet. I have this I have the same name on everything. So Lydia fin head on Facebook, on LinkedIn, I do a lot of posting on LinkedIn. And I have a website, Lydia finet.com. For anyone who's interested in speaking, I do a lot of corporate speaking keynote speaking, or auctioneers, that information is on there as well. And I would also say I have a newsletter that comes out, which is pretty fun. I usually use one chapter from the book every month and kind of dig into a little bit more. And then you can also find my gavel necklace on that newsletter, because I'm gonna be flogging those so they're all gone. So jump in. I love that.

Julie- Host: 47:44

All right. Well, thank you so much, Lydia. It was such a pleasure. Oh, it

Lydia Fenet: 47:48

was such a pleasure. Julie, thank you so much for the opportunity to be with you today.

Julie- Host: 47:54

Hey, everybody, thank you so much for listening to women with cool jobs. I'll be releasing a new episode every two weeks. So make sure you hit that subscribe button. And if you love the show, please give me a five star rating. Also, it would mean so much if you share this episode with someone you think would love it or would find it inspirational. And lastly, do you have ideas for future shows? Or do you know any Rockstar women with cool jobs? I would love to hear from you. You can email me at Julie at women with cool jobs.com Or you can find me on Instagram at women cool jobs. Again, that's women will jobs. Thank you so much for listening and have an incredible day