Resilience, Connections, and Breaking Boundaries with Rayne Clarkson

After a year-long hiatus, I am finally back! I talk about my 2023 entrepreneurial journey, launching a Rush Bowls franchise, and the insights gained from small business ownership Before talking to Rayne Clarkson, the Commodity Business Manager for Applied Materials in Austin, TX. 

Rayne shared her path of resilience after a life-changing accident, emphasizing the role of yoga in her recovery and the importance of seeing abilities rather than disabilities. We delve into societal perceptions of disability, the value of independence, and the impact of societal norms on mental health. This conversation sheds light on overcoming adversity, embracing individual strengths, and the significance of genuine connections.

Reach out to me by e-mailing  offthecrutch@gmail.com or on social media at @offthecrutchpod

Transcript

Travis Davis 
Hey guys, welcome to Off the Crutch. I'm Travis Davis, and after a year long hiatus, I am back, better than ever. Now I bet you're wondering where I've been. For the past year, I've been on an adventure. Picture this. Blenders whirring, fruit flying, and a whole lot of hustle. I've been knee deep in the world of smoothie bowls, helping some of my dearest friends bring their dream of opening a Rush Bowls franchise to life.

From perfecting the art of the perfect acai bowl, to navigating the highs and lows of small business ownership, it's been a journey filled with sweat, laughter, and more than a few bananas.  But fear not, dear listeners, because while I've been setting up the foundation for my business, my passion for storytelling has remained strong.

I recently departed from my position. As I return to the mic, I bring tales of resilience, insights from the frontlines of entrepreneurship, and a newfound appreciation for inclusion. I will go into more details later, but let's get into today's interview. Her name is Rayne Clarkson. She is the Commodity Business Manager at Applied Materials in Austin, Texas.

I've known Rayne for a few years when I came across her social media accounts, including her infamous Rayne Chats Instagram, where she interviews strangers to highlight the importance of connection. We cover many different topics in the interview, including resilience, disabilities, and living life to the fullest.

Let's dive in. 

Rayne Clarkson
Okay, Travis. So I signed up for this seven day free week at this place called Core Power Yoga.  And  I was thinking since I was in that car accident, I was like, okay, I want to focus on mobility, building core strength and stretching, especially since it had some back pains. Um, so I was like, okay, this could be good.

So I asked two of my friends who I work with Colleen and Anna Karen. I go, hey, there's this free week Do you want to do a yoga class with me Friday night 6 p. m? And then we go get dinner and we're like, yeah I don't know. It sounds great Like we'll be you know in zen and very like refreshed and focused after a long week Travis we go to the class at 6 p.m. One of the hardest workouts i've ever done. I sweated more in that Hour long yoga than I did in my whole half marathon I did last year because it is hot yoga one and it's Sculpt so you're having some weights. It's in a heated like sauna room Anyway, all I had to say at the end all of us were dead tired.

We were soaking wet It looked like we had jumped in a swimming pool because we sweated so much We need to go somewhere very casual for dinner Uh, because we might scare people off.  But it is, it is no joke. Yoga is hard and I've now done it. I did it Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, and I did it this morning at 7am.

And I love it. I think it's such a good workout. It, I like the balance of The strength training, but yet also the relaxation and focus on your breath. It's very peaceful. So yeah, I, I might look into doing it more. Do you do yoga? Have you done yoga? 

Travis Davis
When I was in grad school,  we were doing a project. In my physical disabilities and causes class, and one of my classmates, we were doing it together.

She did her project on me, and we did adaptive yoga, and we did it for six weeks. 

Rayne Clarkson
Travis, I love the way that you challenge yourself, and you do, you take on all these other things, like, just despite anything that, like, I know we'll probably talk more about this, but just the fact that, like, you don't let your different ability hold you back, I think it's, It's so inspiring.

Like you talking about doing yoga and you going to all these different things that you go to. I just, I really want to acknowledge you for that. I think it's very, very cool.

Travis Davis
I appreciate that a lot. One of the things that annoys me about the disability community is a lot of times I see on social media, there is some pushback by certain individuals when they get comments like,  Yours because they feel like, well, I'm just doing everyday stuff and that shouldn't be labeled as inspiring.

I take the opposite approach because I do the things that I do. If people wanted to acknowledge it in a way that is inspiring to them, I'm not going to say that it's not.  And I'm also not going to try to police the way that they either talk to me or talk to other disabled individuals. 

Rayne Clarkson
Yeah, that's extremely interesting and I appreciate you sharing that different perspective.

I think it all comes down to people don't want to be labeled or don't want to be put in a box. And I think something that,  from my experience with people with different abilities, I think  You've talked about this before, but.  We all have different abilities. We all have some sort of disability, whether that be something physical that you see, or something that's more internal that you're hidden.

And I think that  when you look at it from a standpoint of,  if you let that different ability of yours define you or cause it to be part of your everyday life, then I think that makes it extremely challenging and I think you can change that to be. To make it your different ability is your superpower.

First off, absolutely love just getting to have these types of conversations with people and get to learn from you about what your experience has been like. I think that's truly a gift of being able to share one's perspective and, and learn from each other. So I have always been very passionate about people that is either.

All kinds of people, different races, different genders, um, particularly people with different abilities. Something that I've just always been drawn to, like, since middle school is just people that, I guess, that were labeled in that category, which I never saw it as that. I just wanted to be friends with everyone.

And one of my best friends in middle school still talked to her today. Her name's Michele. She has Down syndrome. And I Was good friends with her because I liked her as a person, not because of, you know, a different ability that she had, and I looked at her in a way that you do as, as any friend, but I learned so much from her and the fact of how shetTreated people every time I would meet her. She would be just so excited and she would find the joy in the little things and then in high school, uh, two of my very good friends, one Daniel, who was blind and one, um, a domain is deaf and and also has autism. She was actually FaceTime me earlier today.

Anyways, it would make for like just a very fun lunch because. I'd have Daniel on my left, who's blind, and then Adalme on my right, who is deaf, and I'd be, you know, interpreting and signing with Adalme, and just the way that I would get so frustrated, and it would make me very sad when people would look down on them because of their different ability or put them in some sort of box, as you were saying, when, in fact, their different ability, I think, truly was And is a, a superpower, Daniel, he could remember anything you would remember, memorize like phone numbers and names and birthdays.

And I was like, this is so awesome. Like I wish I had that gift. And so, and then I went on to college where I was a Capernaum young life leader all through college and got to just be involved with a lot of people with different abilities. And through that experience, I went into it kind of thinking, Oh my gosh, here I am.

I'm going to like, You get to work with these different people and, um, like have an impact on their lives. And it was the complete opposite, Travis. I went away learning so much and they impacted me more than I could ever imagine. It shifted the way I look at life and look at people. 

Travis Davis
I noticed you take trips or do a lot of things solo. How would you define independence and self reliance in your personal and professional journey? Because you said you took two weeks off, or one week, to explore Hawaii by yourself. I'm sure that's not the only time you've gone on solo trips or adventures. 

Rayne Clarkson
Ooh, hitting me with a definition question here.

Gosh, good, that's good. I would say that I've really come to understand a bit more about self reliance and independence definitely more recently. I grew up with five older sisters, so not only big family, but I was the youngest. And so I think growing up, I very much was go with the flow, whatever my sisters would want to do, whatever the family would want to do.

So I would let them make a lot of the decisions. And then I was in a relationship for 10 years. I dated the same guy, um, starting in high school, high school, sweetheart, college, sweetheart, awesome guy, only positive things to say about him, but we ended up parting ways. And I think from that, I had to very much figure out.

What is self reliance look like and what does it look like for me to be independent? Um, because I, I hadn't been, um, I very much a people person and rely on others such as my sisters or, uh, significant other. So I think  I would define self reliance as having the confidence in one's self to, to overcome life's challenges.

Um, and to have the self love and compassion that you can get through. So I think for me, that journey is, it's very much ongoing. I think I'm very much still discovering exactly what self reliance looks like for me. But  I've learned that I can do a lot of things on my own and I very much. As I mentioned, and you're probably aware that I'm a very big people person.

I love being around people. I love connecting with people. But I think recently I've realized a lot about spending time alone and that I actually enjoy  being alone. I find myself, I dance, I do dance breaks. I dance by myself. I'm laughing at myself all the time. I'm like, Hey, that was so silly. And I'll just have laugh attacks and I'm by myself.

And people are probably like, well, what's wrong with that girl? But. You know, I just, I enjoy my alone time and growth and learning my job. So as I said, I was in Hawaii, but before that I was gone for over a month, traveling the globe. Um, my job so grateful, um, allowed me to be able to literally do a trip around the globe.

I was in Germany, France, United Kingdom, Malaysia, Singapore, Japan, and visiting suppliers and working. And it was no, no doubt one of the toughest months of. Just your body's out of whack because you're on a different time zone. You're eating junk food. You're with, um, you're working all day and then you're taking night calls.

So I think I was averaging like three hours of sleep a night during that time. But I learned  that the world is truly a beautiful place and it's okay to do things on your own. I think I really discovered. The value of needing to fill up your own cup so you then can fill up the cup of others. So  yeah. Wow Still learning.

Travis Davis
Have you uncovered anything more about yourself now than when you left your relationship?

Rayne Clarkson
Hmm, I would say in the past year, I have grown the most individually than I ever have, I would say I've discovered a lot about tendencies I've had in the past of, I've always very much been a people pleaser, very much willing to put, I always wanted  other, I valued others, other people's comfort over my discomfort. 

And that has been a huge learning experience for me and growth of the importance of boundaries and saying no at times. And I was listening to a podcast and they reframed it as you're not necessarily saying no to the individual, you're saying yes to yourself. That's been one of the, the biggest things that I've learned recently is.

The importance of saying yes to myself so that I can better love others. Because I think a lot of times I was such a yeser and I'd say yes to everything. And I would just extend myself way too thin and take on way too much that I wasn't doing anything, the justice that it deserved. So I've learned the value and the importance of a yes, but also. Filling up my own cup so that I then can better fill up other people's cups. 

What types of challenges have you encountered as you've kind of moved away from, let's just say, I'm assuming you were at one point with all your sisters and then there came a point where you went off to college. 

Rayne Clarkson
It, it definitely has shifted a bit in terms of just dynamics in the family. So all five of my sisters are now married and they all have kids. So I'm the, the single sister, uh, number six. And I think a lot of times people are like, what the heck is rain doing? You know? And sometimes in terms of. Life you go through stages of when you're closer to different people and you face different perceptions of people from people So we spoke a little about a little bit earlier about me being in a male dominant Industry, so not only am I in a male dominant space?

I also am in a role that has a lot of upper level more seasoned individuals some of the people have Been at the company longer than I've been alive, which is so cool. But to think about the knowledge that they have in one role was what I've had my entire life. So I think some of the challenges that I'd face is being female in a male dominant industry, having that age gap between coworkers.

People looking down on me because I am young. And so they don't think I'm capable or I'm a female. So I, my voice shouldn't be heard. I think I've encountered some of that. I've experienced different levels of harassment, of imposter syndrome, just lots of different, different challenges of self doubt and different emotions.

One thing though, that I've very much learned is the importance of having a support group. So my sisters absolutely are. Are big supporters of mine. I also am so grateful for different mentors that I've found in my life and through my job makes me go back to the statement of Oftentimes it takes others believing in you in order for you to believe in yourself.

So there's so many things that I've done that I didn't think I would be able to do  until someone else believed in me. For example, I was the young professional president at our company. So I led a group of over 300 members and there was a team of seven that I was able to lead, but I never would have thought I would be able to do something like that if it wasn't for Mentors and colleagues like believing in me and being like rain, you can do this and I've taken on a lot of cool opportunities through that.

So I think the more that you do and the more that you achieve, you're like, okay, what else can I do? What else have I been like setting my limits on? I ran my first, well now I've run three half marathons. And now I'm training to do a full marathon this year, which I'm excited about, but also scared, but it's cool to, like, once you overcome a challenge or something hard, I'm just the, how it unlocks that  mindset of like, Hey, like, what else is possible?

Travis Davis
What do you think your motivation is to keep pushing boundaries and societal norms and moving toward your goals?

Rayne Clarkson
I think a few things come to mind.  One, I truly believe that life is about connection  and about relationships and people. So I think a lot of times I  like to take on things to,  to help others and to elevate others.

So I started a soccer team at our company and, and got people that hadn't played soccer forever joining and getting to experience that, or people that hadn't played in a long time. I mean, just the fun that we had playing soccer and the feedback from people of Rain, like I haven't done a sport in so long, this has brought me so much joy.

When I led the Young Professional Network, the feedback that I got from people and They would tell me, Rainn, this organization has truly changed my career here. It's made me excited about coming to work. It's made the days much more enjoyable. A lot of them said, like, when I joined the company, I didn't know there was any other younger people.

And this organization helped connect me with new friends and make me not feel as alone. And so I think a lot of times,  From these different experiences and getting the feedback and seeing the positive impact it has on others. I think that truly Is what motivates me. It brings me so much joy when I see joy in other people and when other people are succeeding or happy.

And I think it even hits different when you know that you contributed to that person's joy. It's just a really special feeling. And I think that's definitely one thing is the, the impact that some of the things that you can take on or do can have a positive impact on others. I think the other. Big thing is, life is so short, and I think that things can truly change in an instant. 

I talked to you about the car accident that I just had recently, and, you know, I'm very fortunate that everyone was okay, but it just, a reminder of like, Life can change so quickly. I just found out two days ago that my 22 year old cousin who had been battling cancer, he passed away. I think for me, I look at that and I'm like, I just don't want to take any single second for granted.

I just want to make the most of every single moment. I want to be a light to others. I want to make a positive impact. If I can help someone see the positives in their life, I want to be able to be that mirror for them and uplift others. So  I would say those are the things that motivate me that life is very short.

It's very fleeting and I want to be present and make the most of every moment and just the fact that we have the ability to positively impact someone else's life, why would we not do it?

Travis Davis
Mm hmm. Yeah. You know, the way that you say that you positively impact other people's life, I think it has a lot more significance and like umph than how you say it because of the examples that you just shared with me.

You started a soccer team, you started a professionals group, you're doing so many things to impact so many people. Do you ever feel like you want to do more? If you do feel like that, how do you balance those thoughts with staying present? Because at the end of the day, if you're just impacting one person, that can be enough.

This is the second time that we've chatted, but I have more confirmation that your potential is at a whole nother level to do more amazing things than you probably think you can do. 

Rayne Clarkson
You're the best hype man ever, Travis. Every time I talk to you I'm left feeling more motivated, inspired. You just have that ability to encourage others and thank you for always sharing it with me really means a lot. So to answer your question Yeah, I would say I am definitely always looking for ways that I could be doing more that I could have a bigger impact But  for me, if I just make one person's day better every day, it's worth it.

It's absolutely worth it to me  I have a set of reflective questions that I go through each night and it's one of them is  Who, who is someone that you made, um, their day just a little bit brighter today? Um, so I like to reflect on that and to like, just think about like, yeah, what it could be, you know, just a small interaction or a conversation to have that impact.

But I also look at it as. I think I shared with you, you're kind of aware of rain chats that I've, that I've,  so kind of this personal stranger journey where  the idea behind it is to every day is an opportunity to connect with someone new. And to learn from someone else and I think people are so incredibly interesting and it has been just such an incredible journey, uh, Travis of, of meeting all sorts of people and just the gift of perception and learning from other people's experience has been, has been huge, but also through that, I've always wanted, I've never wanted to make it where I am today.

People think I'm just talking to them because I want to document the journey. I genuinely do care about people and I genuinely want to learn about them and know about them. But it's finding that balance too, of already investing in the people that you do have in your life too. Um, because sometimes you get, you get into this state where you're like, Oh, this person needs me, or I could be helping this person right now.

I could be spending my time with this person or this person. And sometimes you have to take a step back and you're like, you can't save, you can't save everyone. You can't help everyone.  I kind of dial it back to where you focus on.  One person at a time if there is an opportunity for me to expand and help the reach Absolutely, but I'm also just the goal is helping one person each day 

Travis Davis
How is breaking away from societal norms helped you in pursuing your goals?

Rayne Clarkson
Yes. Okay, so I think first off that's a fantastic question, but I think a huge societal norm is this perception of positive emotions So on social media, you see everyone's.  Perfect life. I mean, this is no news. We talk about this a lot, but how people they'll post about, you know, the proposal they just had, the new job they just got, the baby that they just gave birth to, who they just got married to these amazing adventures and trips that people are going on.

So it's this bombardment of all these positive emotions and perfect  lives that these people. Are living  and life is truly about the mountains and valleys. And so I think  because of that norm of people only putting the positive things out there, that it is very detrimental to people's mental health, because it's not a proper reflection of what life truly entails.

I mean, there is. Death, there's heartache, there's grief, there's car accidents, there's rejection, there's sorrow, there's crying on your bathroom floor at 2 a. m. eating a whole thing of chocolate ice cream,  you know? Like there, there's those things and I have absolutely experienced both sides of,  of the spectrum of emotions and  I would say I'm so grateful for both because  I truly wouldn't be able to experience the Joy of the mountaintops if I had not known the pits of the valleys, because when you're experiencing those highs, you, you know what it's like to have been in the opposite or what the difference felt like if you only lived your life on, on the tops, it would just get boring,  kind of stagnant night. 

Look at life of this beautiful array of these emotions of the grief you feel, the,  the moments of sunshine where you just pause and you just, you can't help but smile, but there's so much value in both and I think you need both.  And so kind of going back to your question of like, how is breaking away from societal norms like helped you?

I would say I'm very good at  feeling all of my emotions. Um, and acknowledging them, I mean, oftentimes you hear people like keep your emotions at home. Don't bring them to work, but I think my emotions have truly been my superpower. I think it's allowed me to connect better with colleagues. It's.  Allowed me to put myself in other people's shoes, um, a bit more.

I'm an empath. So I not only feel my own emotions, incredibly deeply, I feel the emotions of others, um, so much like to the point where. Recently I was on an airplane and a girl sat down next to me and I could just feel the weight of the world that seemed like on her and I just, I felt this pressure in my, in my chest for this woman that sat next to me.

She ended up, she was crying and I checked in on her and we ended up talking the entire plane, um, just about some of the stresses in her life, but it was just wild, Travis, of just like, when I have conversations with people, I feel it, like I physically feel it so deeply because I, I care, but it can be a lot because I'll go home and I'm so exhausted of like, not only processing my own emotions, but that of others.

And so I think how I've kind of broken away from societal norms is by  acknowledging all the motions, the, both the positives and the negatives and.  Not being afraid to share them when I do have those more negative ones and double check on people when I feel like they have that negative one. I think so oftentimes you, you know, the beautiful question of how are you?

Um, and people are so quick to say like, fine, or I'm good. Um, and not truly like dive into how are you really doing? Or if someone says like, I'm fine or eh, people are quick to gloss over and go to the next question. And I think it's important to be able to sit and actually really dive into like, I mean, if you have the time and if, if you, if you can, but  if someone's willing to share just. 

Sometimes all someone needs is someone to listen, and  I think that goes a long way.  It's so refreshing to have these types of conversations, Travis. Thank you for being, like, vulnerable and just sharing, like, from your own experience, because I think it's truly where you learn a lot, and you think about things in a new way, because some of the things you've shared in our conversation today, I'm like, why hadn't I thought about it that way?

Like, as an able bodied person, I Acknowledge some of the privileges that I've had. And I think it's super critical, important to have these types of vulnerable and open conversations with others and come from a place of curiosity and ask them and take people like you that are bold and willing to share and be vulnerable  because oftentimes I think you referenced this in your, your TEDx talk, but just how bold it was for that one student to ask you about your crutches, I think was so cool. So  I just want to acknowledge your like vulnerability, vulnerability and transparency, because I think a lot of times I'm like, Oh, I hadn't thought about, you know, different spaces before Travis. So thank you. Thanks for enlightening me. 

Travis Davis
I'd kike to end it with maybe you could talk about when adversity comes, ways that you handle it.

Rayne Clarkson
One of my favorite quotes, you've probably heard this before, but the times when you feel like you're being buried and there's so much darkness. Actually, we're planted and proceed and you, you grew and learn so much. So yes, I have encountered quite a bit of adversity in my life and challenges. I try to not let them define me.

I think that's one of my biggest things. It's so easy to be like, Oh, I'm the victim here. I experienced great loss and grief and.  Yes, that's part of my story. I don't allow it to define me and I don't let the joyous moments define me either. So I think how I kind of handle it is acknowledging it, sitting with that emotion at the time, but then being able to release it and move on and overcome going back to the topic of resilience, um, of just being able to learn and grow from it and move on.

Because I think if you let something that happened to you become. the headline of your Movie, it can cause a lot more limitations in your mindset. So I think for me, it's really sitting with the emotions, acknowledging it, and also seeking support from others around me. So I feel very grateful for people in my life, especially mentors that I have that really guided me in times of.

When I felt alone or when I felt by myself, I rely a lot on, I do a lot of journaling. I reflect on how I feel, I will dance it out. So sometimes after like a meeting that I'm in and it's frustrating or I feel down on myself or incompetent or an imposter and I'm like, why am I here? Like I shouldn't be in this position.

I'll do a little dance break and I'll, I'll dance it out. Uh, I think that's really needed. And it just  reminds me that what's really important in life and not to sweat the small stuff, because I think as we talked about early earlier, life is so short and I think it can change in an instant. So to really acknowledge every single moment and live in the present. And just express gratitude each day of the gift of life.  

Kenny
Thank you for tuning into today's show. Follow the podcast on social media at Off The Crutch or email Travis at off the crutch at gmail dot com.