Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Unhustle With Milena Regos

Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Unhustle With Milena Regos

Milena Regos joins us on episode #199 of the Blossom Your Awesome Podcast.

Milena is the founder of Unhustle.com

It's a system for high performers to live and work without the burnout. 

The Unhustle philosophy is based in scientific research, ancient wisdom and original research, the Unhustle philosophy offers a counterintuitive way to living, working and being in a world of burnout. 

In this episode - 

Milena talks about the overwhelm and burnout we all feel when we are high achievers. and how reframing how you show up with simple proven techniques can change your output and outcome. 

• science has proven this methodology works 
• it is possible to work less and achieve more 
• hard work and results doesn't actually have to be hard 

KEY TAKEAWAY - So much of how we show up and the results are the outcome of our own self imposed limitations. When we are presented with broader ideas we gain broader perspective on what's really possible.

To see more of my work check me out at my website

Where I write and cover mindfulness and other things to help you Blossom Your Awesome.

Or follow me on instagram where I post fairly regularly and ask an inquisitive question or two weekly in hopes of getting you thinking about your life and going deeper with it.

My Instagram - i_go_by_skd

To support my work - my Patreon

To see more of who I'm talking to on the Podcast, to advertise your brand on the Blossom Your Awesome Podcast or just get in touch click here.  
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Transcript

Sue (00:01.282)
Hi there. Today on the show, we have got Melina Rigos here. I am so honored and delighted to have you here. Welcome to the show.

Milena Regos (00:09.344)
Thank you so much for having me Sue.

Sue (00:11.778)
Oh, I'm so excited to have you here and get into your story, the work you do. You are the founder of unhustle.com. This just sounds so cool. So it's a method, a transformative method that offers mentorship, mastermind groups, coaching, and it helps people get beyond the overwhelm. Right. And the like stress, like 24 7 stress that comes with this whole hustle.

culture thing, a mindset that we have. Talk to us about this. Like first give us your background and why and how you came up with this and then we'll get into Unhustle.

Milena Regos (00:51.544)
Sure, I'd love to. I'm originally from Bulgaria, and I came to America to chase the American dream and achieve that lifestyle that we all strive to accomplish. And in the pivot, in the top of my career, I realized that all that chasing and striving for happiness really left me a little bit unsatisfied on the inside, feeling miserable, feeling like something was missing. I was stretched far too thin, I was working all the time.

even though I was doing great work, I wasn't sleeping well, my health was not there, I just had not a minute to myself, sacrificing my friends, my time with my husband, all in the name of work. And it was a 10-day digital detox trip in Baja California, so that kind of woke me up to who I am.

what are my values, what do I really value in life? And that led me to connect with the bigger purpose in my life and that is starting the Unhustle Movement, where we reject the idea that we have to constantly cure ourselves and fill every minute of our days with activity in order to be successful. There's a different way of going about it that allows for more space, more joy, more wellbeing, more peace and fulfillment and...

then the pandemic happened and then it was a wake up call for so many people to realize that indeed our relationship with work is not healthy. Actually, I believe only 24% of people based on the latest research from 50 countries show that we have an unhealthy relationship with work. And that just confirmed my theory that it's not just me. And so now I take people on a journey.

to say how do we reject this mentality and how do we create a different way to live and work.

Sue (02:51.382)
Wow, that sounds so powerful. Now, give us some insight here. What is the most toxic thing, I think, that we just as a culture are hooked to? Is it social media? Is it just digital stuff in general? What's the number one most toxic thing that we need to cut out even just a little bit?

Milena Regos (03:17.496)
I think it's the busyness in our lives. Yeah, I mean, the world's moving faster and faster and faster. And we're trying to keep up with it. We have things flying at us from every single direction. It's work obligations, it's family, it's technology, it's social media. All these messages, anything from capitalism to marketing, I know because I used to be in marketing from.

advertising from social media, everybody and everything, trying to tell you to somehow better yourself, to go faster, work harder, struggle more, and then one day, one day, you achieve that happiness. But in reality, that one day never comes. And so we're hooked on this dopamine pathway of going through our days until we come home exhausted and we get into numbing behaviors, and then we wake up and do it all over again, till one day.

we wake up and realize that what we're missing is the simple things in life. It's the relationships, the experiences, the time alone, the solitude, the being able to watch the sunrise or the sunsets. It's the simple things that we forget because we're staring at a six inch screen and we live our lives through all these dopamine, which I consider fake dopamine.

Sue (04:35.114)
Mm-hmm. And now with everything like you say, this kind of whole hustle culture and keeping up with everybody and like, you know, productivity, like there's all these apps, right? Where it's like, okay, how can you crank out of, you know, take one piece of content and turn it into 20 pieces of content, we'll post it everywhere for you. And it's just this, it's like more and more and more to keep up with.

who you think you're trying to keep up with, those people at the top or whatever your goal is, right? Even in the workplace, bosses and employers are many times expecting more. They want more for less. So how do we start to have a mindset shift around this and start to see that this is really, it's not the answer?

Milena Regos (05:26.804)
I think by starting to define what you want more of, right, we think we want more work, more to do in our days, more things to accomplish, more activities to fill our hours with, whether it's at work or outside of work. And in reality, we need to get crystal clear on what is our more? Is it more freedom? Is it more true wealth? Is it more time affluence? Is it more time?

to be healthy, is it more time to have friendships and love? And so getting very crystal clear on this is a really hard thing to do. I mean, I can walk somebody through a process of how to do it in 15 minutes. And knowing your values is extremely helpful, but living your values is where we start to disconnect. All because we're brainwashed, we're influenced all the time that we have to do more.

of the things that benefit some corporation or somebody else or somebody that is benefiting from your time and attention and energy and focus, right? So knowing your values is critical. Living by your values is where the ultimate challenge is.

Sue (06:46.294)
Mm-hmm. And now what values, and I know this is different for everybody, but what values ultimately are going to offer the most like sustained long-term joy? What value should we be striving for?

Milena Regos (07:03.676)
the only ones that you can say these are my own values and this is what I'm committed to living my life like, and they're gonna be completely different for everybody else. I can speak for myself, you know, my values are freedom and adventures and experiences and community and simplicity and creativity and this is what I focus my time and energy in this area. Somebody else will have completely different values. Your values would...

only be able to be sustained if they're yours and not anyone else's.

Sue (07:38.734)
Mm-hmm. And so what do people have it have wrong, right? Because we have the wrong idea about happiness and like you mentioned, true wealth. What is true wealth? Ultimately, you know, based on some of the scientific research and things that you do with unhustle, what does that really look like? What does it really mean?

Milena Regos (08:04.012)
So what we have wrong is a few things. We measure productivity and success based on outdated metrics from the past. And so getting crystal clear on the fact that productivity does not equate in hours, but rather in impact and outcomes, and being able to redefine success based on your terms instead of what society says success is. So for me, success became living in a place I love.

being surrounded by people I love and enjoy, doing the things that I love to do while contributing to the world in a positive, meaningful, and purposeful way. This is my definition for success. Nowhere in there I equate money with happiness. Now you need money to live and you need money to pay your bills and absolutely there's nothing wrong with making money. But when we make money and achievements, our soul go.

we start to get in on that hedonic treadmill of more, at the end being unsatisfied, unwell, unhappy and uneased.

True wealth can be measured in relationships, can be measured in experiences, can be measured in living a rich, deep and fulfilling life, can be measured in financial freedom, can be measured in health and overall wellbeing. And based on the science and the studies that I've been researching, these are the things that create a good life. These are the things that...

fulfillers. These are the things that at the end of the day we say it was a it was a good ride and you know you're not filled with regrets at the end of your life.

Sue (09:57.534)
Mm-hmm. And now, Malina, let me ask you, you know, so many people have it wrong, right? So many people don't get that, yeah, I'm chasing something. They're not able to go deeper and think deeper like, I'm chasing this, okay, I'm making more money, I'm successful, but am I really happy? You know, you have to pause for a moment and ask yourself, okay, this is great, I'm successful, I have all these material things, but am I truly good?

deeply fulfilled. What is your advice to people to start kind of learning to go deeper with themselves to evaluate, you know, if they're truly fulfilled?

Milena Regos (10:40.887)
Mm-hmm.

Milena Regos (10:44.168)
Yeah, in one word is to learn how to unhustle or in one sentence, right? I mean, this was exactly my journey. I had to take a pause. I had to pull myself out of the everyday life and ask myself these questions. And they're not easy questions to ask, but am I really happy? Am I really fulfilled? Am I really living a life based on who I am or am I doing it because of what I've been taught the way to successes?

They're simple questions, but we don't make the time. We don't give ourselves the space. We don't give ourselves the grace, the love, the radical acceptance of who we are to say, I'm gonna follow my weird, and I'm gonna do life and work on my terms, and I'm gonna escape the grind and the hustle culture and all the pressures and the overwhelm and the burnout that comes with it, and I'm gonna define it.

and live it based on what I believe in. It's a real simple strategy and that's why unhustle is the most secret counterintuitive and super valuable skill in the future. It's where we get creativity, it's how we can make life, major life decisions, it's where we get insights, it's where we connect with ourselves, it's where we find joy and fulfillment and peace of mind.

Sue (12:05.874)
Mm-hmm. And so what is the one of the key things to unhustling? What is one of the key components to that? I know it's a multitude of things, but if you could say just one thing just sharing some part of that with everybody

Milena Regos (12:22.552)
Just one thing would be to give yourself permission to sit still for five minutes and observe your thoughts. And maybe ask yourself the question, am I fully aligned? Do I feel well?

Or do I feel depleted? Where in my areas do I feel depleted? Where am I overflowing? When where am I underflowing? And where can I find more flow? Where can I find more of that balance? Where can I find more alignment?

Sue (12:57.358)
Mm-hmm.

Sue (13:03.626)
Yeah, you know, see, this is so interesting because people will spend a lifetime looking for that, right? Exactly that. But they never slow down to discover, right? It's kind of like the key where it's like you say, it's counterintuitive because you think, oh, to get all this done and accomplish all this stuff and make impact, I've got to be doing, doing. But it's almost like you've got to be slowing, slowing. So you can really.

Milena Regos (13:15.756)
Mm-hmm.

Sue (13:33.482)
sense and feel and let it kind of come up out of you, right?

Milena Regos (13:38.248)
It's almost like, you know, if you want to get from A to B and you're driving a really fast car, right? And you're going down this really pretty road and you're going at 90 miles an hour. And yeah, you'll get there, but if you ease off the gas just a little bit and you drive at 65, the speed limit, and you get to take it all in and you get to enjoy it, maybe here and there you take a pull over and take a picture or just.

there at the beautiful waterfall on the side of the road, right? We don't have to go at 90 miles an hour and risk getting a ticket along the way or ending up in a hospital because we're burned out and we're anxious or we have a mental health breakdown. We can go at 65, still get there, maybe 10 minutes later, but have so much fun along the way.

Sue (14:28.942)
That is a beautiful analogy. I love that. It's like that whole, you know, enjoying the journey, right? Not missing the journey, being there and present to be able to really be with it. Cause so often we're just trying to get to the destination, but it's about the journey.

Milena Regos (14:48.272)
And we're so serious about how we're going about it. I think once we make life and work a little bit more playful, and we get fully engaged with both, the fulfillment is there. That's what we're all missing, is that lack of fulfillment. We're missing it because we're chasing all of more of the wrong things.

Sue (14:50.99)
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Sue (15:01.838)
So.

Sue (15:09.582)
Hmm. I love that. And now, you know, I want to ask you personally, like coming up with this and now helping people, so many people, high, you know, achievers and CEOs and like kind of the top of the top. What do you, what is the biggest thing you kind of notice about people? Is there one kind of common thing these people have?

in common to want to achieve and then what is their biggest downfall?

Milena Regos (15:46.216)
Not being true to themselves seems to appear over and over again. Falling for what other people or bosses or school or family or society norms is telling them what they should be doing and not being comfortable in their own skin, not having the courage and the confidence to follow their own path. It's a big one.

Milena Regos (16:16.044)
Fear of financial repercussions if they slow down just a little bit. It's really, really big, rarely justified. We think that if we ease off the gas just a little bit, it will end up in sacrificing our income. And the reality is just the opposite. I've seen it over and over again, as well as studies and science show the same. We're trying to work.

in the 21st century using an outdated, over a century old model. And we can only push our brains for shorter periods of time. So we end up filling our days with busy work because we're told that we have to be productive. When in reality, you can get so much more done in less time if you focus on the right things, if you do less but better. And it's a really hard thing to do because of that busyness.

because we live in a world of fast. We do everything fast. We go for fast walks, we ride on faster speeds, we go on speed yoga and speed dating, and we can slow down and experience life a little bit. And possibly keeping things simple. It's really hard to keep things simple, but simplicity in life and in work ends up.

Sue (17:27.682)
This is it.

Milena Regos (17:44.736)
being very impactful in terms of giving you more times, more space and better results.

Sue (17:53.426)
And now let me ask you, I know, you know, people are very kind of set in their ways. They have ways of doing things. And then, you know, it takes a certain amount of time to form a habit. And especially with some of the people you're working with. It takes a lot. It almost takes more to unlearn something, right? If you're a certain way and you're so used to doing, it takes.

more to unlearn that way of being than to learn something new quite often. So what do you find that to be the case? I mean, is it possible? Can everybody benefit from unhustle? Or are there some people that you just can't help?

Milena Regos (18:39.992)
So thank you for asking this question. And it's taken me, I'm gonna be very brutally honest, it's taken me five years to get honest with myself as to what's the right approach that I can help people. Realizing it's a journey, right? Because I tried to do various things. Launch a community and create workshops and create trainings and retreats and programs and corporate training. And I finally realized.

to your point, it's an unlearning and it's a journey and it's a process. And if I'm to get serious about changing the world and turning hustle culture into human culture and getting people in this unhustle movement, I have to do it in a sustainable way for the people. And so this is how the idea for Harmonia came about. And Harmonia is what I'm currently creating in the world. And it's a way to disrupt how we learn and unlearn it's a way to disrupt.

Coaching, it's a way to disrupt all these traditional modes of learning that are not allowing for our fast, busy lives. So I'm combining learning with coaching with community with mini trainings, with accountability support, retreats, in-person and online connection, all under one ecosystem that I'm calling Harmonia. And I hope with that kind of support, everybody will be able.

to make the change.

Sue (20:10.83)
Well, this sounds amazing. And now give us a little more. I was reading on your website about harmonia. I love this transformative experience, but transforians. That's interesting. So give us a little more about this. Can you give us a little more insight into harmonia? Like what that's going to look like and just whatever other insights you can give us.

Milena Regos (20:35.488)
Sure, so my vision for Harmonia is to create a community of leaders, of entrepreneurs, of executives who can come in there and either do like an eight-week sprint under the unhustled method program and in between have other learnings, other micro learnings, daily reminders, challenges, quizzes, trainings with guest speakers, other coaches that they can reach out to and connect with.

And so have the knowledge to your point. It's not really the knowledge that we're missing. It's the doing part, right? It's the doing part. And that's my biggest challenge with people. It's like, it's the doing part. So how do we, or the undoing in some cases. So how do I get people to do it? And what I've seen works the best is learning with other people, doing it next to other people. And so I wanna have weekly Q&As with me and

and monthly get togethers, but I also want to have people create their own pods so they can learn with each other and share information and knowledge with each other. I am the person creating the platform, but I believe there is going to be an amazing quality of people in there on both sides, people who already know and live this journey and then people who need the help to get there. So I'm creating the...

the platform and I'll call it a community for lack of better terms, but it's so much more than just a community.

Sue (22:11.374)
Wow, this sounds so amazing. And I think it's, you're creating something people need, but no one else has really created in this way, right? For allowing a space of community for high achievers, but learning how to do it in a way that's more, you're actually getting more production value by doing less essentially.

Milena Regos (22:23.98)
Yep.

Milena Regos (22:37.704)
Yes, and it will also allow people to connect with each other based on their geographic location. And once a year, there will be a place like this year in April, we're going to gather in Barra, California, sir, for like a five-day workshop with whoever would like to come. I mean, it's limited to only 24 people, unfortunately, the space that I have. But my vision for this is

to turn into an annual gathering in different beautiful places of the world and so it can turn into this annual conference or annual get together. I hate conferences. Un-conference.

Sue (23:18.383)
I love that. And now give us some guidance, you know, for you personally as a entrepreneur and someone who was feeling burnout themselves.

Milena Regos (23:28.776)
Ruff!

Milena Regos (23:33.undefined)
Sorry, we have dog in, dog's interruption. No.

Sue (23:33.878)
It's okay. Okay.

Milena Regos (23:42.582)
Go.

Milena Regos (23:49.676)
I'm so sorry.

Sue (23:50.71)
No problem. I'll just cut that out. So I was saying, so give us, you know, for you as someone who has figured out a way to slow down and alleviate burnout, what advice or guidance or like practical tips can you give people those listening, just a place to kind of start with

Sue (24:18.994)
alleviating some of the burnout in their lives.

Milena Regos (24:22.572)
I mean, everybody's gonna have their own version of burnout, if they are burnout. A lot of us, from what I'm recognizing, are not aware they're burnout. I actually have a quiz on my website for burnout self-assessment, so people can go on hustle.com and see if they're burnout or not. There's also a lot of discussion whether burnout is caused by the individual or by the organization. So...

understanding the root causes of your burnout is the very first thing to identify. Because if you're stuck in a toxic work environment and you're trying to heal with yoga and walks in the woods and drinking green tea, it's not going to work. I mean, it will work a little bit, but it's not going to heal your burnout. So knowing the root causes, sometimes the root causes of burnout are internal. Our inner achievements.

our inner ambition, our inner ego, all these things that sometimes we have these inner saboteurs that are pushing us to burn out, whether it's a perfectionism, imposter syndrome, people pleasing, all these things. So being very clear on what are your roots for burning out and then devising a custom plan to be able to deal with them.

Sue (25:47.47)
Hmm. And you know, let me ask you is, you know, some component of this when you're kind of getting to the root of Somebody why they're burned out how they can slow down how they can do better There has to be a component of ego there right Yeah, which is and so how do we how do you tackle that like cuz so often?

Milena Regos (26:04.978)
Big time. Oh, big time.

Sue (26:13.75)
people are not even aware of that kind of leading, that's what they're being led by, right? It's kind of all ego, and so often they're not even aware of it.

Milena Regos (26:23.368)
Yeah, by becoming aware about it, it's the first step, right? Self-awareness. What really worked for me was getting and learning more about mindfulness, right? And that's when I realized that maybe I have it wrong. It's not society, maybe I have it wrong. I mean, there's a lot of things, systemic changes that need to happen. There's no question about that.

But some of the things that are within my control were up to me to change. And that's when I realized that I am waging war against busyness and burnout and hustle culture. But at the same time, there's the things within our control that we can manage starting today, right? And so I'm trying to do both when I work with people.

Sue (27:18.61)
Mm-hmm. And when you say, I mean, things, and I know we kind of already touched on this, but really a great place to start is just kind of sitting in silence or something, right, to start slowing down, becoming more present, more aware.

Milena Regos (27:32.968)
Yeah, it's not even so much slowing down, it's finding your own rhythms and working with your own energy and finding that these moments of inner peace. And so there's so many strategies that people can do. And I know, I believe only 14% of the population meditates. To me, meditation is a place to sit still, right? But there are other ways to do it. It's going out.

kitesurfing on the ocean and just being fully present in doing what I'm doing because it takes all of your attention to be out there balancing a little board two feet above the water, right? So you can't mentally be somewhere else. Or sitting with your thoughts and journaling, right? It's another really good way to notice.

not as your thoughts, or going for a walk without listening to a podcast, or without listening to an audiobook. I know there's some amazing content out there, but we are disconnected from our own thoughts and from our own reality. I have a Buddhist meditation teacher who I've been getting deeper into philosophies like Buddhism and Taoism and

Milena Regos (28:56.316)
It was the exact same thing. It was the exact same thing that what we're dealing with right now. So life back then was busy for them. Life back then was fast. Sure, they didn't have TikTok and the news from all over the world, but they still had the pressure and they still had the demands of the world upon their shoulders. And if you start reading about the Greeks or the,

the Taoist way of living, they all point to the same place, that we need to struggle, we need to find a way to struggle less, we need to find more of the effortlessness state, we need more solitude, we need more time alone without thoughts, and we've completely disconnected from that, and that's where true fulfillment and freedom is.

Sue (29:52.039)
Wow, I love that, Melina. Now let me ask you, if you had advice or guidance for someone who's just kind of stuck and struggling right now, feeling burned out, feeling stressed out, what is your advice for that person?

Milena Regos (30:11.388)
Identifying what stresses you out the most and coming up with a sustainable way to eliminate that stress from your life. Because whether you're realizing it or not, it's probably already showing somewhere in your body. And a lot of us are walking around with chronic pain, digestive issues, skin rashes, insomnia, inability to sleep, heart, blood pressure, all these things are physical symptoms.

that your adrenals are taxed and you're stressed out and you're probably doing too much and your body's reacting to it. So instead of trying to mask it with alcohol and pills and whatever it is that you're doing to try to heal it, see if you can go to the root cause of it. What is it causing it? And what can you do to minimize it or eliminate it? You may not be able to eliminate it 100%, but maybe just a little bit, maybe just a little.

Maybe it's like a 1% change would make a huge difference.

Sue (31:16.846)
Wow, that's great guidance there. Now, what is next on the table for you? I know you're kind of expanding on harmonia, but what else is coming up with unhustle? Do you have other things in the works? What does that look like?

Milena Regos (31:32.076)
Thank you for that. I am fully in launch mode, so to speak, with harmonia in a very mindful, unhustled kind of way. So I'd like to get off the ground. I feel extremely guilty, and I know I shouldn't, but I do feel guilty because I've been going through some intake forms from people and just reading about...

the challenges and obstacles and the pains and the struggles they've had. And I feel like Harmonia is way overdue. So I wanna get this out to the world in the fastest way possible. I am also working on my book, which I have worked on for a couple of years. I know you're a writer. And it's been an interesting process for me, very healing. And at the same time, I've written so much and I want to synthesize it and I wanna summarize it. And so I actually have a call with my editor

podcast to talk further. I'm going back to the outline. I wanna say, okay, what is the essence that people, that would help people the most, yeah? And what else am I doing? I have my own podcast and I would like to get more time dedicated to creating visuals. And I have a retreat coming up in April. I think that's about it.

Sue (32:59.974)
Wow, that's a lot for someone, for the founder of Unhustle, but I know you're doing it in a very mindful way, like you say. It's amazing that you can do so much, but again, the whole point of it is that you're doing it in a way that doesn't create overwhelm and stress and all of that. So that's so beautiful. So a couple of things, Melina. First and foremost, I just want to thank you.

so much for your time today. You've been so awesome and I just think it's so amazing what you're up to. I'm gonna be sure to have links to all of your stuff for people and all of that. But now in closing, if there were just one message, your hope for everybody, what is that closing message you wanna leave us with?

Milena Regos (33:44.012)
Well, considering what's happening in the world right now, I would love for all of us to think less about the future of work and more about the future of humanity. And see if we can find more harmony with ourselves, with others, and with the world around us.

Sue (34:05.63)
Wow, I love that. That is such a powerful message. You've been so amazing. I just thank you so much, Melina.

Milena Regos (34:14.784)
Thank you so much for having me.

Sue (34:16.878)
Thank you.