Blossom Your Awesome Podcast The Extraordinary Unordinary You With Simone Knego

Blossom Your Awesome Podcast The Extraordinary Unordinary You With Simone Knego

Keynote Speaker and Author Simone Knego joins us for Episode #208.

Simone is the bestselling author of The Extraordinary Unordinary You

Simone believes we each have amazing potential and we have the power to live more into our uniqueness and be our most authentic selves.

Simone is also the cohost of the Daughter Dearest Podcast with her daughter.

To learn more about Simone check her out here.

It's a delightful conversation.

To see more of my work check me out at my website

Where I write and cover mindfulness and other things to help you Blossom Your Awesome.

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Transcript

Sue (00:00.994)
Hi there, today on the show, we have got Simone Canego here with us. I am so honored and delighted to have you here. Welcome to the show.

Simone Knego (00:09.52)
Thank you so much for having me here today.

Sue (00:11.862)
Oh, I am so excited to have you here and get into your story, the work you do. You are a keynote speaker, bestselling author. I love the title of your book, The Extraordinary Unordinary You. You've done all kinds of incredible things like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. And I know you have a remarkable story around that. You have six kids, three are adopted.

Give us the backstory here on the work you do, and then we're gonna get into the book and some of the lessons and things you've learned along the way.

Simone Knego (00:50.173)
So I love speaking to women and really talking about that we need to change the way we see ourselves. I think so much of self-help for women is about changing yourself and I truly believe we have everything in there. We just need to take a look at it. So that's the work I'm really doing now. I also have a podcast with my daughter, which is a lot of fun, called The Daughter Dearest

Simone Knego (01:18.569)
So that brings speaking to a new level when you're speaking with your 20 year old, but it's a lot of fun. And I wrote, you know, in terms of writing the book, I just wanted to be able to share my messages. For a long time, I didn't think that I had a story. I didn't realize that what my life is could actually inspire other people. I think a lot of us feel that way. We just feel like we're going through our lives from point A to point B.

not realizing the difference that we can make. And that was me for the longest time. And so when I started writing, when I started speaking, it was because I wanted to be able to inspire other women just as I was inspired when I realized that I had a story.

Sue (02:01.238)
And so how did that realization come about for you and just that self inspiration, you know, going from feeling uninspired to inspired to now inspiring other women? I mean, that's really remarkable.

Simone Knego (02:15.461)
I was actually asked in a volunteer role if I would share my story about my family at an event. And I was like, you're asking me to share my story? What's my story? Right? I mean, that was like my uncomfortable self back then where I didn't think I had a story to share. And it was really writing down those words and then standing on that stage and having women cry, men cry.

I just thought, wow, I don't think I ever really realized the power of words in that sense. I mean, I understand the power of words, but like for me, like for myself to be able to stand there in front of people and have them then say to me, wow, you were so inspiring. And I'm thinking like, who are they talking to? Me? And that really was it. That was really a powerful moment for me. And it really began my journey to help other women as well figure out their story.

or realize that they have a story and that the more we share, the more we can help other

Sue (03:18.482)
And now Simone, talk to us about this. Like, what do you think, you know, as far as sharing your story, what were you tapping into that was resonating for other people?

Simone Knego (03:32.977)
I think a big part of it is our struggles, right? I think most times we don't share our struggles, we share our happy moments, our shiny moments. And it's hard for people when, and social media is such an issue, right? Especially for young girls in that they're looking at what everybody else is doing on social media and thinking, well, I'm not doing that so I must not be good enough, or I don't look like that so.

I must not be good enough or whatever they're thinking at the time. And I think that helping people see that each one of us has the same.

uniqueness about us. Like that's what's so important is that we're all unique, that we don't have to be, we shouldn't try to be like somebody else. We should just be who we are and be proud of who we are. And that's kind of how I felt my journey has gone to this point where, I mean, for years I struggled. I didn't think I was capable of doing the things that I'm doing now. I never thought that I would be speaking on a stage. Never. But...

It's when we start believing in ourselves and really putting in the work behind it that we realize what we're capable of.

Sue (04:43.902)
And so for you personally, was there a moment where you realized, wow, I'm capable. I have this awesome story, I'm gonna go help people. What was that moment that kind of evoked this for you?

Simone Knego (04:53.577)
Mm.

Simone Knego (05:00.757)
So I am someone who struggled with self-doubt, and I can tell you when it began, I remember the exact story of, you know, the first time really thinking like, oh, I'm not enough. But the moment that changed all that was in 2015. So not that long ago, not even 10 years ago, I was asked to, well, first my husband was asked if he wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. And he basically counted to three and said, no, thank you. Call Simone. She might want to do it.

And I got the call and I said, you know, I really want to do this for myself. Like, I really want to push myself to limits that I haven't experienced before because I was struggling so much, you know, thinking that I wasn't capable of doing most things. Now this was way out of my comfort zone, but that moment really helps me realize that when you, it's not just about setting the goal, it's about asking yourself what you want, setting the goal, and then putting in the work behind it. And.

So when I reached the summit, that was really a pivotal moment in my life where I said that I don't need to worry about what anybody else is thinking. I don't need to doubt myself every moment of every day. I need to realize that I can do the things I wanna do if I put in the work. And that kind of changed everything for me. And it doesn't have to be Kilimanjaro for people. It can be anything. Like you pick something that kind of pushes you out of your comfort zone. Be comfortable getting uncomfortable, right?

And that was life-changing for me.

Sue (06:34.166)
wow, this is so amazing. And now there had to have been moments on the way up, right? Like where this whole thing is building for you and that self doubt is like, can I make it? Am I gonna get through this? Why did I do this? What am I thinking? Talk to us about that. And then, you know, like you say that pivotal moment where you're like, wow, I made it to the top.

Simone Knego (06:58.185)
were definitely moments. Like I wouldn't say that I, once I started, I was like, I'm going to do this. There was not a time where I said to myself as we were on this journey that I'm not going to make it. You know, I did question, okay, why am I doing this? And oh my gosh, this really hurts or this is really exhausting. Like should I have made this choice? But I think in general, once I knew that I was in the shape I needed to be in to, I was

I mean, you never know. I mean, things can go different ways as you're doing something like this, but it was really, those were the little nagging questions like, I have six kids at home. Is this really the smartest thing to be doing right now? Questions like that. But I, because I knew from the beginning, as soon as I started this, I had a lot of people ask me, oh, Simone, do you really think you're going to make it to the top?

Oh no, I think I'm going to make it halfway. That's why I'm doing it. So I realized from, yeah, exactly. I realized from the beginning that I have to put other people's voices aside, right? I don't need to listen to the naysayers. If people want to help me, I am all in for the help. But if people want to criticize, it doesn't get us anywhere. So for me, it was so important to rely on the support of my family. And then when those voices would creep up in my head, it was just about calming the voices and saying, you put in the work.

Like you are ready for this, you can do it. And yes, your knee hurts or whatever, but it's just, it was about just keeping that, that mindset of that. I know I'm going to make it to the top.

Sue (08:33.998)
So I have to commend you, Simone. I think it's so remarkable. I mean, to go, these are like polar opposites here, extremes to go from self doubt to, okay, what's one of the most challenging things I can do, right? I mean, that just must have helped you transcend on a level, I mean, did you realize like how that was gonna feel after you were done and how did it feel?

Simone Knego (08:46.537)
Hehehe

Simone Knego (09:04.137)
So I didn't think about it ahead of time. I just thought, I just want to accomplish this. Like I really want, like I feel like I believe in myself for the first time. Like I feel like I can do this. And it was really at the summit where I'm like, okay, why have I doubted myself for so long? Okay, in between trying to breathe because it's very hard to breathe up there. But you know, why have I doubted myself so long? Why do I worry about what anybody else thinks? And I don't think I realized how transformational that moment would be at the time.

But obviously looking back, it was so transformational for me. And I think that's true about anything that we do that pushes us outside of our comfort zone or that we're fearful of and then we do it. I think that that's what really makes change stick, right? When we say, okay, like we're going to just keep going. I mean, there's lots of failures along the way. It's not like things don't go wrong. They do. But it's that.

idea of that we learn from our mistakes, we learn from our failures and we keep going. And for so long, I was just in that stuck mindset of that, I can't do this, I can't do that. I didn't even try. So if we don't try, you know, we can't even fail and we definitely can't succeed.

Sue (10:18.038)
That's awesome. Now, talk to us about the self-limiting beliefs that you had prior to this and how you just see things so differently now.

Simone Knego (10:35.625)
So I used to say that I was just a stay-at-home mom. This was a time when I wasn't working. I was just Rob's wife. I have a great husband. I've been married to him for over 30 years now. But I think sometimes we start defining ourselves based on someone else instead of really being our own person. So, you know, I would justify my life. I would justify why I wasn't working using just as an excuse instead of just saying I am.

I am this, I am that. I'm proud of being a mom, right? But I would just say I'm just a stay at home mom. And now I'm like, yeah, I'm a mom of six and sometimes I'm home. But it's really using our words in a powerful way. I mean, our words have power. The way we say them, it has power and it has the ability to kind of transform your mindset as well when you keep using words that make you feel good about yourself.

Sue (11:35.638)
And now as a keynote speaker, inspiring women, what do you find is if there's like a commonality, the most common thing that keeps women from achieving or succeeding or reaching their full potential? Is there one thing or what are those things you find?

Simone Knego (11:58.517)
So I actually did a survey just like last week, 10 days ago, asking, I gave, there were 10 questions and the first question was, do you have self-doubt? And 85% of the women said yes. So I would say like number one, self-doubt. And then I gave a list of different choices like self-doubt, balance, body image. And so

Beyond self-doubt, next in line was body image and next in line was balance. And so I think those three things combined, and actually most women said they struggled with all of it. So like 60% of the women clicked all of the above are the things that they struggled with. And I think I had eight items on there, but beyond the all of the above items, it's those self-doubt, body image and balance. And I think especially women who are mothers,

And women in general, we feel like we have to have this balanced life all of the time. Like if we can't do this because we need to spend more time with our children or I'm not taking care of myself, but if I take care of myself, I can't spend time with my children or if I take care of myself, I don't have enough time to spend on my job. And I think it's life. It's a give and take about how we move through life and that we can't be so hard on ourselves saying, oh my gosh, my life isn't balanced. I don't know what I'm going to do. It is.

Yeah, there's some days that things are gonna be easier than others. There's some days that you're gonna spend more time with your family than you do on your job and vice versa. And I think that we have to stop criticizing ourselves and stop being so hard on ourselves about those things and just say, okay, so this is what it was today because that's life.

Sue (13:44.078)
That is great guidance. I love that. And now your book, let's talk about this. I, that's such an incredible title. How did you come up with that? And what is the premise here behind this?

Simone Knego (13:58.513)
So I love the word extraordinary because I do believe each and every one of us are, we're all extraordinary, right? We all have these pieces to us that make us so unique and we're all unique, but all these pieces that make us extraordinary. And I love the comparison with the people at first thought that I was saying ordinary. I'm like, no, unordinary, which is the same as saying extraordinary. So it's just a play on words for it. But again, it goes back to...

not giving ourselves enough credit for who we are and not realizing what we're capable of. I mean, the book is really about, you know, recognizing that the little things we do every day matter and realizing that we are more than enough, that we really contribute to society by the choices we make every day. And we should look at that and say, like we are making a difference in the world instead of saying, I'm not doing anything, which is what I felt for a long time, that I wasn't.

contributing, didn't matter that I had six children, didn't matter what I was doing, I still felt that I wasn't making a difference. And I think one of the hard things is that you have a lot of people, they see what you look like on the outside and they make assumptions that everything's great, right? Oh my gosh, Simone, you have it. You have it all together. You have six children. Your husband's a doctor. You...

you do all these things. And on the inside, I was like, nobody has ever asked, how am I? Not that they needed to ask me, but I didn't even feel comfortable sharing because their assumption was that I'm like this super strong, has it all together kind of person. And I wasn't, I was really struggling. And it's a reminder that we should check in on people and that not to make assumptions that, oh my gosh, everything's perfect in that person's life because there is no such thing as perfection.

Sue (15:49.206)
Wow, this is so interesting, Simone, what you just shared there, because like you say, on the surface, you're taking care of all these people and you've got this perfect life, but it's almost like that self-care, but that connection of having someone asking you, like.

just on a personal level, like, hey, how are you doing? How's it going, right? Those conversations, you just weren't, it sounds like weren't having those conversations because you're doing all this stuff and people aren't checking in that way.

Simone Knego (16:26.501)
Yeah, and I think that the assumption is that, how are you is like one of the funniest questions out there for me because people don't really want to know, right, they ask you that question. And if I come back with, you know what, this was like the worst day ever, let me tell you about it. Sometimes people are like, oh my gosh, she's actually like answering the question. I think people use the how are you as a, just a generic like, yeah, you're good, right? Everything's good, everything's good. And

I try to actually be really authentic now in my answers because I'm like, well, if you asked me, you must actually want to know. Sometimes I'm having a really great day and sometimes I'm like, okay, that was horrible. What? It kind of surprises people because they're not used to that. They're expecting the generic response. It's always funny to see what people say once I'm like, okay, yeah, that was a horrible day.

Sue (17:20.774)
That's really great. And that's so interesting because, you know, like you say, people are just kind of like, it is that, hey, how's it going? Oh, I'm good. Okay, thanks. How are you? Good. And it's that like, hello, hi, bye thing and passing. I was having a conversation with a guy who's a trauma interventionist and he was saying the most powerful thing you can say to someone is, are you okay? And then just.

sit in their darkness with them. And it's so often where we don't know whenever asked us that, you know?

Simone Knego (17:57.077)
No, we don't ask people that. Again, I think we, life is busy, right? The world is crazy. And we just think that, I don't know what we think. We're just not thinking that, or take, it's not that we're not thinking. We're not taking the time to really see. We're like so busy that if someone answers that question authentically, you're like, oh my gosh, what am I gonna do about it now? But my message is that's what we need to be doing so that we can help other people. It's not just about.

asking him the bland question of, how are you? And then, you don't really want to know the answer. It's really trying to explore, okay, if they're struggling, how can I help them?

Sue (18:37.71)
I love that. That's beautiful. Now, Simone, talk to us about, so I know you have six kids and, you know, people are like just so sometimes overwhelmed with one, but you had three of your own and you adopted three kids. And I think that's so amazing. And it just speaks to your like nurturing qualities, okay? I don't know you, but it just says so much about you. Can you talk to us about

that if you're open to sharing that, like how and why and what that's done for you.

Simone Knego (19:09.653)
course.

Simone Knego (19:14.921)
So we actually, it took between my first two children, it was four years before, between my oldest is Jacob and my next one is Emma. And it was about four years before I had Emma. And actually we tried, I just couldn't get pregnant. And so we had thought about adoption then, of course, as soon as we started working on paperwork, I found out I was pregnant. It's usually how it works. And so then we had,

our third child and we started the conversation again. You know, what do you think? It's kind of now or never, do we want to do this? And then we said, you know what? We do want to do this. Like, okay, life is crazy, but it can be crazier. Like we like the chaos, like we're okay with more. And so we adopted our son Noah from Korea, South Korea and he was a baby, he was four months old. He is now 17.

And after we adopted Noah, we kind of still felt like something was missing. And I know it sounds weird, but we just, we did, we felt like we wanted our family to be bigger and we had such a crazy, but really great experience through the process of realizing that the world is a big place and that, you know, there's a lot of kids that they just, they're just waiting for a family to love them and we can be this family. And so then we.

adopted our son Ari from Ethiopia, and he was four and a half years old at the time. And actually when we were at the orphanage to bring Ari home, we knew at that point that we were gonna go back again because the kids at the orphanage were just, oh, they just wanted to hold your hand. They just wanted to touch your face. They just wanted to sit in your lap. And we're like, okay.

The minivan isn't full yet. We can fit one more kiddo. So we, we went back one more time and we actually had requested, um, an older boy again, and we were paired with our daughter, Millie, which she was two and a half years old at the time. And, you know, she was the grand finale of the family. Like she just, she's so sweet. She's such a good kid. And I would say for our entire family, like we see the world differently. Now.

Simone Knego (21:39.569)
our friends, I think too, who see the world differently. And it just makes us appreciate things, I think a little bit more because we know what our kids have gone through and I think it makes our older kids also be like, not just thankful, but like they embrace the world. Like they wanna bring people in. It's not about us and them, it's all about us. And...

I wouldn't change it for the world. I mean, days are crazy, some days. I mean, now they're older now. So, I mean, we only were in two and a half years, we could potentially be empty nesters. So, you know, hey, goals, but it's just been such an amazing experience that I would never change any part of it, even the really difficult days because that's what got us to where we are now.

Sue (22:19.95)
Thanks for watching!

Sue (22:33.634)
That is so amazing. I just think that's so remarkable of you and the way you share in everything that it's just brought to you and teaching others around you and your own kids and just this idea of like connectivity and all of us just being one. I think that's so beautiful and so amazing, Simone. I just, I love that. That's so remarkable.

So now talk to us about, I love your podcast, this thing's gotta be taken off, because that's so a conversation that we're not hearing being had, right? Like between a mother and daughter.

Simone Knego (23:15.749)
It's really fun because it's, sometimes we agree, right? I mean, it's not like we're fighting on there, but you know, it's nice to hear like a different viewpoint. Like when we talk about something, she will say, you know, I haven't experienced it like that yet. Like, so I have no idea yet what my, you know, I was like, do you feel comfortable in your skin? She's like, oh, I feel comfortable in my skin right now, but ask me in five years, it might be completely different. Like you've gone through all the stages. I haven't gone through those stages yet.

And, you know, it's really, she gives a really great perspective on stuff. And people are like, oh, you only have, you only do it with one of your daughters. I was like, the rest of them do not want to be on a podcast. Trust me. She, she enjoys it. She loves talking. She loves like brainstorming ideas. And the rest of them are like, yeah, no, thank you. Well, you know, we don't even want to be a guest on your podcast. I was like, okay, that's cool. So.

Sue (24:08.778)
Well, I love that. I think that's such a novel idea. I mean, whose idea was it? How did you come up with this? And what were you really hoping to kind of, is there like a certain message you're wanting to convey? Or?

Simone Knego (24:25.093)
Yeah, so when we started, it was basically, she's up in New York City and we would be having phone calls and we'd be on the phone for 30 minutes and talking about stuff. And I was like, people could benefit from hearing this. This would be fun to do as a podcast. She's like, well, why don't we do it? I was like, really? You want to do a podcast? And she was like, yeah, I'd love to do a podcast. And so basically we took our conversations and now we're.

expanding in that we're going to start having guests and bringing in other viewpoints on stuff because I think that's how we learn, right, when we hear what other people's experiences are and what they've gone through. So yeah, it's just been a really fun experience and definitely some of our conversations are, and we're very authentic. We're very like, we say it how it is. We actually don't edit. We just, that's how it goes through because...

We're human and so when I make a mistake, it's like, okay, yeah, I just said that. Or yeah, your camera just went off. Can you fix that please?

Sue (25:31.405)
That is awesome. I love it. And now, Simone, talk to us about guidance you would have for women. What would you tell your younger self or women who are stuck and struggling? What advice do you have for them?

Simone Knego (25:47.017)
So I like to use a little word. I say the word real. Ladies, let's be real, let's get real. And real is about, the R is for respecting your reflection. The E is embracing your failures. A is ask yourself what you want. We don't do that enough, right? We just kind of go with the flow. And the last thing is love the woman in the mirror. You are the only you, right? Like you're it. Like...

Be proud of who you are and don't let other people tell you what you should be doing. And don't look on social media and say, oh, I need to be just like this. You don't. You need to be who you are. That's what makes the world a rich place is when we can each express who we are, how we want to. And there's lots of things that I could say, especially to my younger self.

My favorite thing to say is that when I was younger, I had this boyfriend who was very, very controlling, very emotionally abusive. And we went out to dinner one time and he was saying that I looked fat and he said, oh, you should have a salad. Yeah, you should have a salad. And I did. I had a salad with no dressing and then of course went home and cried myself to sleep. And so I...

My wish for my younger self is that she would have ordered the chicken wings with blue cheese because that's what she really wanted. Girls, order the chicken wings with blue cheese. Make yourself happy. Feel good about yourself.

Sue (27:11.143)
I'm sorry.

Sue (27:17.33)
Oh, I love that. That is such great advice. And I think women just don't, you know, and I don't know if you and your daughter touch on this, but just every, you know, I know you mentioned social media, but I mean, the Kardashians and the things that, you know, young girls are looking up to these days, I just am so disheartened at it all, you know?

Simone Knego (27:37.817)
Yeah, it's hard when you look at the world and you see what we think that people should aspire to, right? And you're like, gosh, like, do we, I mean, I know I want my kids just to be who they are. And I love the fact that my youngest daughter, when she goes somewhere, she's the jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, which is very much like what I am. And, you know, she'll go to a party and people will be wearing heels. And she's like, I'm going to wear my sneakers. What do you think? I said, I think that's great.

Don't worry about what anybody else is doing. And I think if we stopped worrying about what anybody else was doing, I think the world would be a much better place.

Sue (28:14.754)
That is great guidance. Now, self-care, do you have a self-care routine? Do you take time out to do that? How important is it? What do you suggest?

Simone Knego (28:27.913)
So I do. My big thing for self-care is really about mindset. Yes, I work out, although yesterday I hurt my back, but it's really about how we talk to ourselves, what we say to ourselves. And so I do positive affirmations in the morning. I do evening gratitudes.

I've had people say to me or especially women say to me, well, what do you say to yourself in the morning? And I said, well, I have two different things. I have a list of positive affirmations and I also have, I like to say something kind to myself, find something about myself in the mirror that I like every morning and say that to myself. And I've had women say to me, well, what if there's not one thing? I was like.

Oh no, there is at least one thing that you like about yourself when you look in the mirror. Could be your eyebrow, could be your eyelashes. It doesn't matter. You got to start somewhere and realize that you're beautiful, exactly how you are. You're beautiful. And then when I, you know, at night, I really want to be grateful for something during my day. It could have been like the worst day ever, right? And...

But I still try to find something like, oh my gosh, I had that really great cup of coffee, whatever it is to make me realize, okay, tomorrow's gonna be even better instead of thinking, oh, today was horrible, tomorrow's gonna be worse. It's that positivity that really works for me in my self-care and self-care isn't selfish, you know? Self-care is self-love. So that's what's so important to me, especially for my girls to understand and that women around me to understand that you need to take time for yourself, whatever it is, you need to take time for yourself, it makes you better.

Sue (30:16.718)
That is so awesome. I love that because again, I think women are so used to taking care of everyone else and just forget all about themselves. So that is amazing, Simone. So a couple of things. Well, one, I wanna ask you what's coming up next for you? Any more books? I mean, you've got the podcast. Any other mountains you're gonna be climbing anytime soon?

Simone Knego (30:42.437)
No more mountains for now. I mean, I don't know if I'm going to do something else like that in the future, but I am working on a second book and it's all about how to love the woman in the mirror and really steps to help women remind themselves of the things that they're capable of and how important it is that when we look, when we see our reflection, when I say respect your reflection, we don't give ourselves enough respect and

So that's what I'm working on and then more speaking and then the podcast.

Sue (31:15.958)
That is awesome. Well, tell us the name of the podcast again.

Simone Knego (31:19.925)
called The Daughter Dearest Podcast.

Sue (31:22.226)
Okay, awesome. And I'll be sure to have links to all of that stuff. So a couple of things. First and foremost, Simone, you've been so awesome and you've had like so much great wisdom and insights. And I just loved having this conversation. Thank you so much.

Simone Knego (31:38.281)
Thank you so much. Thank you. I really enjoyed it.

Sue (31:41.482)
Oh, you've been awesome. Now in closing, if there were just one message, your hope for everybody, what is that closing message you want to leave us with?

Simone Knego (31:50.921)
that we don't need to change who we are, we need to change the way we see ourselves. So girls, when you look in the mirror, respect your reflection and really love yourself for who you are.

Sue (32:03.906)
That is such a beautiful, powerful closing message. You've been so wonderful. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Simone Knego (32:10.366)
Thank you.