Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Mastery Over Mindset With Vin Infante

Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Mastery Over Mindset With Vin Infante

Vin Infante is a psychotherapist and mindset coach. He has worked with thousands of people helping them align with purpose and passion to achieve optimal success.

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Transcript

Sue (00:01.253)
Hi there, today on the show we have got Vin Infante here with us. I am so honored and delighted to have you here. Welcome to the show.

Vin Infante (00:08.758)
Hey Sue, thanks for having me.

Sue (00:10.269)
Thank you so much for being here, Vin. I love what you're up to. Your background is so different and eclectic. Today, you are a mental performance coach, but you are a former firefighter. You've done all, you're a psychotherapist, mindset coach. You've got businesses. Give us the backstory, like how this all kind of came about for you.

Vin Infante (00:35.426)
Well, it was interesting because it turned into a story of I've always wanted to serve and I didn't really care about how I did it. So I had been following my first passion, which was to become a therapist, much like my father that had always inspired me since I was younger to become a therapist. And so as I had finally gotten into a role that I actually really loved, which was working in a private practice.

And mind you, I had been everywhere. So for about 10 years, I was in inpatient, outpatient, hospital clinic, homeless shelter, private practice, Department of Education. I did a pliable analysis. I was a traveling home therapist. And I did all of these to figure out what I was actually enjoying was private practice. Now I had that second childhood dream, which was to become a firefighter. And that one came to fruition at about the time I was 20 years old.

where I was able to get into the academy and start going through the training and actually put it into practice and do it. But at the same time, I'd been feeling like therapy wasn't really helping people and that there might have been a better way. So that's actually what ultimately got me to start studying coaching. Now, the long story is something we'll save for another time. I know we only have a half hour today. So, I gave this short one, which was I found Tony Robbins and I loved what he was doing so much so.

that I decided to actually pivot and start studying a lot about coaching and NLP and all these different techniques. So once I became a firefighter, I started building my coaching business on the side, which eventually started taking off to the point that I was able to sustain myself on that. And then I made the decision to go full time into it because I felt like I was just truly in love with it. And it's just something that I really wanted to pursue and give it my all. So I wound up resigning from the fire department and going full time into entrepreneurship.

Sue (02:26.561)
Wow, this is so fascinating. And you know what I think is so cool is that you have that psychotherapist background. So you're understanding the psychological components of it and like NLP and all of that other stuff. But then you get and you know, I have like a I'm torn about therapy as well. There are so many different modalities, but this idea of kind of talk therapy where, you know, I don't know how much people I mean, I think it works for some people, so I don't want to knock it.

But this idea like you are thinking, okay, wait, people need more than just the therapy.

Vin Infante (03:02.494)
Yeah, exactly. That's what I felt. And I felt like it's interesting because to some degree, I think some people need therapy. And I think that therapy does serve a good purpose. I think just like coaching, therapy also for short in its own ways. So you might have experienced this or maybe some of your listeners. And I'll just throw out the different ways people get stuck, right? If anybody has experienced this, you go to therapy and you feel like you sit there and you just talk about your past and not much gets done. And...

Somehow every time you leave, you feel worse than when you went in. And that's when therapy starts to pull short. And a lot of people will argue with me, especially other practitioners, and say, well, that's just the practitioner. It's like, right, but that's also a lot of practitioners. A lot of practitioners tend to keep people stuck in their past because they don't know how to challenge them properly. Now, there's the benefit of a coach. A coach challenges people to raise their standards, shift their story, and elevate their life to the next level by taking different actions and no longer embracing stories of their past.

where your coach will fall short is where your therapist usually helps. And the coaches will try to rah motivate people sometimes, not all coaches, but sometimes they'll try to do this rah motivation of like, if you're not achieving it because you don't want it bad enough, but the reality is that they're just stuck on something heavy from their past and you're not going into their past to deal with it. So now you're going to be a useless coach. And so what we see is if you combine the modalities, or at least this is

Vin Infante (04:30.198)
do all of the good of both and have none of the shortcomings of either. But most people are not trained to do both modalities.

Sue (04:38.293)
Oh my goodness, I left this, Vin, I think that is so cool because you're really touching on something huge here by like you say, there's, they're stuck on something from their past that hasn't been addressed or worked on, right? But at the same token, they still need that motivation, they still need that encouragement. But they need both.

Vin Infante (04:57.691)
Mm. Yeah.

Sue (05:00.373)
Wow, that is so cool. I love that you're able to kind of tap into both sides of that. And this is what I think is so awesome about the work you do in your background, because it's so unusual. You don't usually have both of these components at play here. Now give us some guidance on mindset. What do you find? Is there like a common something that holds people back? Is it

I'm sure it's different for everybody, but is there one common thing?

Vin Infante (05:33.834)
It's interesting, right? I'm gonna phrase your question with a question, is that, is it really that there are different things holding everybody back? And I think in society, we've come to believe, right? Like there's so many differences and there's so many nuances and this and that. There's so many differences and nuances on the surface, but when you go all the way down to like the core of it, there's really not.

If you're asking for the most common thread that if you pull things start to unravel, I would tell you it's people's identities. Because the reality is that we like to keep our lives in alignment to what we believe it is and who we believe we are. So when you start dismantling your stories about yourself, about your life, and about what things mean, which is all part of identity, everything falls apart. And then you could rebuild it and you could recreate it into anything you want.

So when people are really stuck in something, it's more actually looking at what is their belief system? What is the identity they hold? And how do they believe themselves to be operating in this life? Because you're either passively experiencing life or consciously creating it. And I can tell most people do not consciously create it because of the fact that we already have the research that shows 95% of everything we do is done in the subconscious. So that lets me know most people are passively experiencing life.

and they are reacting to life and they are being pushed in any direction or pulled in any direction as opposed to asking what things mean and how can I create it and what's the response I'd like to have or the outcome I'd like to have and being proactive to be an active participant in life.

Sue (07:11.225)
Mm hmm. Oh, I love that. And now give us, can you kind of define identity? Because I think that gets a little muddled, right? Like give us a detailed description of identity.

Vin Infante (07:23.97)
Sure, well I'll start it with a story, my story actually. So my story is one of shifting identity multiple times. Throughout my whole life I struggled a lot with depression, anxiety, panic disorder. There were so many things that I was struggling with because I was getting bullied, I didn't fit in, I was having a rough time even just staying with myself at home. And all of these things initially were causing me some sort of discomfort but then got worse where

Now I'm having suicidal ideation and I'm having self harm tendencies and I'm trying to figure out how the hell to get out of this pain and I can't. And so after the lowest of lows in high school, I decided I need to try and reinvent myself. I need to create a new identity. And so I know you can't see this Sue, but on these diplomas behind me, my school diplomas, they actually say the name Vincenzo even though my name is Vincent.

because going into college, which is really weird by the way, nobody checks this, I wrote all my transcripts, my name was Vincenzo, nobody questioned it, and that's not my name, but I did that because I was trying to reinvent myself and make myself cool. And it sort of worked, I started getting attention from women, I started having people wanna be my friends, I also changed a few other things, I started working out, I grew a beard, changed my style, however my internals were still a mess. So even though externally things were going great, internally things weren't.

And after constantly struggling and considerably getting worse, up until the time I was about 23 where I was wanting to drop out of school and life was super hard for me mentally, I wound up having a breakthrough moment where I was in my bathroom and I had slammed my hands on the countertop and I was just wondering why I was so messed up mentally. Now at 23 years old, I graduated with my masters. I just became licensed to practice psychotherapy. Had a really great car that I got myself. I had a hot girlfriend.

So I'm like, okay, cool. I have everything society says you should have to be happy and successful. And yet I feel like none of that. So what's actually wrong? And so it led me to this understanding where in that moment of frustration, when I was looking at myself in the mirror, for the first time in seven years, I said my own name. Because I couldn't figure it out until I just looked myself in the eye and I said, oh my God, I know it's wrong. You're Vincent.

Vin Infante (09:44.606)
And that was so important because it was me being willing to embrace myself. It was me being willing to take my identity back because Vincenzo wasn't who I was. He was the avatar I created. Who I was Vincent. And by stepping into that, I was able to have an honest, real conversation with myself, and this is where the identity work actually started, because to know who you are, you have to be honest. And my first level of honesty was saying, well, who is Vincent? And the answer was.

very brutal, very raw, very true. Where I said, you are a loser, you're depressed, you're anxious, people pity you, you're not inspiring, you're not fit to lead, you're not happy. And those were all true and I continue to go, but I'll spare everybody the time. And then, I had this next part of identity where the question was, who do you want to be? And that becomes a lot actually easier because we all know who we want to be, right? For you or any of your listeners,

I'm sure you know there's a more ideal version of yourself out there. And you have to ask yourself, who is that? So for me, it's, I want to be a leader. I want to be happy. I want to be inspiring. I want to be powerful. I want to show other strength. I want to be empathetic, right? All these great things. And then the last part is asking, what would somebody who was those things do? How would I show leadership? What does a leader say? What do they do? What do they think? What is their language? How do they inspire others to feel?

What are the behaviors they exhibit? And then how can I do that every single day until it just shows up as my actual identity instead of what I was struggling with, instead of who I was? Because the big key to identity is if you take action based on who you are instead of who you wanna become, you can never become that next version of yourself. And so those were, through my story, those were the lessons I learned about what identity truly is. We have all these sub roles.

and these sub things we want to grow into. It's just about getting clear on that and taking action every day to exemplify it.

Sue (11:48.533)
I love that, Vincent. That is so great and such a great, powerful story for so many reasons. And I love how you broke it down because really, I think that's what happens with people. They get caught up in the little stuff and aren't able to kind of, you know, the way you just kind of broke that down step by step. Like, here's where I am. Here's what I'm struggling with. Here's where I need to go.

And I think that's the clarity you're offering people. I just love that. That's so awesome. What a great analogy. Now, tell us this mindset shift for you. And also I love the fact that you had all of these struggles because so often I think coaches are like, hey, I'm gonna be this life coach and I'm gonna go motivate people. But they're not always bringing a lot of deeper awareness to the table, right? But you've...

Vin Infante (12:42.242)
Hmm. Yeah.

Sue (12:44.737)
struggled in all of these ways and you know you were able to pull yourself out of that. So you embody that. What is it that people need to have that mindset shift to pull themselves out of that kind of victim state and say, okay, I'm going to go execute on this.

Vin Infante (13:02.734)
Sure. I believe they need two things. One is they need that raw honesty of who they are. If you're a loser right now, anyone listening, I have nothing but love for you, but if you feel like you're a loser right now, if you feel like things could be better, if you're upset that you're fat, if you're tired of being broke, I mean, and mind you, I came from a lot of these parts, like I didn't know anything about money, both my parents were nine to five people, I was chubby, I got teased all the time.

for having man boobs, I don't want to go too far on your chat here, but there's all these different things that I had felt about myself that I wasn't fully honest about. Like if you're not sitting there and saying I'm fat and I'm getting made fun of because I'm fat, chances are you're gonna keep being fat. Like what's gonna push you to work out if you can't even acknowledge that's who you are right now, that you need a change? So level one is that raw honesty. You have to acknowledge the biggest things that you suck at and that it's a real...

problem you're facing. Because when you do that, you give yourself empowerment. And I think it's interesting because in today's society, I feel like we've looked at that level of empowerment as some form of shame, or some form of guilt, or some form of self like victimization. But it's really not. It's the ability to get to that space of raw honesty that you need to change, right? How many people have ever heard of the law of exposure?

And I believe that's what it is. The law of exposure states that once you are exposed to a certain set of information, you can never be unexposed to it. So if you are raw and honest enough with yourself like I was for myself, for me to sit here and tell myself you're fat, you're a loser, you're uninspiring, you're depressed, I can't ignore that anymore, right? It's finally so real that I am either gonna do something with it to change it, or I have to just accept it and that's gonna be my life and I'm okay with it.

Because once you get to the honesty, now you can't hide. So if you get to that, that's the key. And then number two, level two, is to challenge yourself. Now, I like to say everybody has these multiple personalities. Now, if you were in a formal clinical setting, that might be a problem. But in the personal development setting, the way I look at it, is I like to call it internal leadership. And internal leadership is identifying that we have multiple roles. I'll use myself for example. I am a father.

Vin Infante (15:32.326)
I am a son, I am a boyfriend, I am an entrepreneur, I am a friend. So right there, let's just use those. I think I have what five or six roles listed out. I'm a brother. There we go. We got seven roles now. So each one of these roles has an extremely empowered way to live as the greatest version of it. And I like to use father because that's the newest one to me. I have a daughter who's 21 months and she's the absolute love of my life. They say

you know, you'll know that you have something that really matters to you when you're worth dying for it. But I've come to find that you have something that really matters to you when you're trying to figure out how to elongate your life for it. Like I want to soak up every second of my daughter's life. And so when I look at how can I show up powerfully as a father, it comes down to identifying what does that mean? And you could get very granular or you could be broad, but granular always makes it better because the actions become much more clear.

So to become an entrepreneur, you have to work a lot, you have to miss out on things, and you have to also find ways to build. To be a father, it's almost the opposite. You have to be present, you have to ignore certain things, and you have to find a way to let be. And so learning to identify what each identity requires and keeping them to some degree separate for when it matters to be either or.

Sue (16:49.385)
Mm.

Vin Infante (17:01.35)
is one of the best ways to start getting clear on what your most empowered version of the identity is. So I have, when you're a client of mine, you work with me, you could text me 24-7. You have unlimited access to me. That's a promise I make. Now, when I'm with my daughter, I still have my phone with me. So now the question comes up is, what do I need to be in that moment? Because I know what a good father looks like and I know what a good entrepreneur looks like. But the question is, not which is a good one or how do you live as a good one.

What's the right one in the moment? So if I'm spending time with my daughter, my phone isn't getting the attention. If I'm spending time with a client, I'm sorry, but my daughter's not gonna get the attention. And so I believe when you create ultimate clarity and intention around what the most empowered version of each of these roles you show up for is, and you challenge yourself to build towards that, that's how you start changing into the person you wanna become.

instead of continuing to be the person you've been or the person you no longer want to be.

Sue (18:05.437)
That is so powerful, Vin. You're really, like the clarity here that you're bringing, I just love it. I think it's so awesome. You're really kind of laying this out for people. Now, what is some practical guidance? I know, you know, first step is like identifying those issues or hangups, really acknowledging that, but where does one start? If someone was just sitting at home today, feeling stuck, give us some practical tips for them.

Vin Infante (18:34.658)
So the practical tips are gonna actually be based a little bit less psychology wise, but more, I'm a fan of stoicism. For anyone who doesn't know, any of your listeners who may not know what stoicism is, it's not about being a rock when people are in pain in front of you, although for some reason we think that's what it is. Stoicism is actually about self-mastery. It's about understanding the only thing you can actually control in this world is you.

and nothing else. So when people ask me what is the secret sauce, I like to tell them there is no secret sauce. It's actually a very simple sauce. The sauce is you want to look at yourself. The external world is just a mirror of your internal. If you're finding that things are out of control externally, chances are you have not reigned them in internally. So when we look inwards, you want to take those steps of one, getting clear on who you are. Number two.

getting clear on who you want to be. And then number three, you wanna get extremely clear on what I call, and this one I invented. It's called your five aspects of self-mastery. So I love my five aspects. And of course, why wouldn't I if I made them? Now, the reason I do love them though, is because I found that if you can master these five things, you can pretty much navigate life or any type of adversity with ease. So Sue, do you wanna hear the five aspects of mastery?

Sue (19:59.849)
Yes, I was just going to say that.

Vin Infante (20:02.398)
She's waiting. So the five aspects are this. You can only control your thoughts, your language, your emotions, your behaviors, and your actions. Now outside of that, you have zero control. There's a difference between control and influence though. And I think people sometimes get that confused. I cannot control my daughter. I can influence her. I cannot control the people in my circle, but I can influence them.

Sue (20:03.345)
Okay.

Vin Infante (20:30.582)
Let's even go further. I can't even control my clients. The people that pay and invest in their own personal development. I can't control them, but I can influence them. I can facilitate a space for change to occur as long as I am able to control myself and then utilize my own self mastery to start trying to shift the external world by changing the way I interact and experience it.

So when you look at these five aspects of mastery, it's all about learning to enthusiastically interact with life and shape the way you respond to anything that might happen. Because though you cannot control what happens to you, you can always control how you respond and react to it. So if you'd like, I could break down these five aspects with you and the listeners like that. Perfect, let's do it. Okay, so let's start with the first one. I'm gonna start with emotions. Now,

Sue (21:15.394)
Yes, break it down. Okay.

Vin Infante (21:24.09)
Maybe you guys have come to know that emotion gets stored in the body. So emotion is just energy and motion, and that motion has to go somewhere. It's going to go in your physiological space. So I've come to find one of the best ways to actually work out emotion. It's not necessarily by trying to think yourself out of it, by doing something physical to work yourself out of it. So let me ask you something. If you are sitting there and you are pissed off or you were depressed.

And I told you, hey, I want you to hop around on one foot, flap your arms and screech like a bird. How do you think you might feel after doing that?

Sue (22:01.69)
I'm a little less depressed.

Vin Infante (22:05.082)
A little less depressed and a little more ridiculous. But most importantly, you will have broken your state. Because what emotion comes down to is state management. Your state is also being determined by your physiology. If you and I, Sue, if we were to go on a trip to Russia right now, I don't speak Russian, do you? Perfect. So if you and I were going on a trip to Russia and we were just walking around the street and I asked you to find somebody that looked depressed and point them out to me, do you think you could do that?

Sue (22:12.094)
Hmm.

Sue (22:23.842)
No.

Sue (22:33.318)
Yes.

Vin Infante (22:34.59)
Okay, and we could do that because emotion has a physiological look to it. So the next time you're stuck in an emotion, think about what your physiology is actually doing and start shifting that. Number two, let's go to your thought where focus goes, energy flows. But here's something that's more important than that one is with focus goes. It causes expansion. People like to think when you focus, you narrow, which is somewhat through.

But I like to bring up the reference of a yin yang. Now why I love the yin yang is because it's so interesting. It represents a balance, but it's also an interesting perspective that could be brought up. One side has the big white and the little black and vice versa. But what they don't tell you, and this is a conclusion I've come to, so maybe it's wrong, maybe it's right, I like it. But if you were to focus on that little black dot in the middle of the white, I guarantee you that eventually the side that's that big white would turn into a big black with a little white.

and vice versa. You focus on that little white spot, eventually turns into big white and the little black spot. Because focus is actually expansion. And what you're focusing on is expanding and consuming you and more focus goes into that. So when you're stuck on a thought, think about the fact that whatever you're focused on is continuing to expand. So shift your focus. Instead of saying, I don't wanna feel anxiety, talk about what you'd like to feel. I'd like to feel happy or excited, whatever. And then shift to that. So that's two of them.

Language is very simple. It's how you describe things. How are you talking about your life? Did you wake up and say, today's gonna be a crappy day because it's cloudy? Or did you wake up and say, today could be a great day because it's shady and I don't like the sun? It's a very easy thing to choose your language. So I'm not gonna go too in depth. And the last two, they're pretty powerful, but I wanna just break them down real quick. The difference between behavior and action. A lot of people think they're the same, but they're not. Behavior is more rooted in your identity.

We were talking about this at the start of the podcast for any of you listeners that remember and essentially behaviors come from that identity. They're a reflection of who you believe yourselves to be. So they typically stay in alignment to who you are as opposed to shifting often. They also start forming your habits and giving you results, et cetera. Actions however are different. Actions are completely based on value in moment to moment interactions. So you might see someone who you really think highly of, somebody who's crazy in love with their wife, let's just say.

Vin Infante (25:01.014)
And then you find out they cheated. And you're like, whoa, that's crazy. I would have never suspected that. And it's like, well, you'd have to look at what variables occurred. Oh, well, he was drunk. He was out at the bar. He felt like he wasn't getting much attention from his wife. Some really pretty girl gave him attention that night. She said, I live right next door. All these perfect little moments that all of a sudden in that moment to him.

the value is higher to cheat than to stay loyal. And I'm not defending cheating to anyone out there who wants to jump on me. I'm just saying, I'm just saying what we could see is the value of actions are actually in the moment to moment. And so even though that guy might not have been somebody who would ever cheat, he might be somebody who takes relationship extremely seriously and he's married and he holds those vows sacred, he cheated. He made a terrible decision.

Sue (25:31.805)
Hahaha!

Vin Infante (25:55.798)
That was not only out of alignment with his behavior, but it was elevated in value of the action in that specific moment that caused him to act what we might call out of character. So this is, or these are the five aspects of mastery. That's the breakdown of them. And that's how you could start utilizing and understanding them.

Sue (26:15.945)
great practical guidance there have been. And again, I think it's so cool. And I think we're in alignment on this because I hate it when I hear people say people can't change. I don't believe that, right? And you've just laid it all out where really there's all of these different components that hold us back. But when you start kind of dissecting it in this way, it's like, yeah, I can have a different thought. I can have a different action. It is up to me. So I love that. That's amazing.

Now give us some insight into success. Like what, you know, for someone who's wanting to like achieve optimal success, what does that look like?

Vin Infante (27:04.002)
Get your life in order in all aspects. I like to look at it and this was actually told to me by some of my mentors. Sue, you can see these picture frames behind me. Now, for anyone who isn't watching this on a video, I have three picture frames behind me. Actually, I have four, but one's covered by my chair. What Sue might be able to notice is that they are all the exact same frame, now that I brought her attention to it, of course.

And the reason being is I had a mentor who had actually yelled at me when he saw my background. And each one of these degrees, diploma certifications had different picture frames. And you might be thinking right now, anybody listening, you might be thinking, that's the stupidest thing to yell about. And at the time I agreed. It took me three months to get different frames. And the point that he was trying to instill in me is how you do one thing is how you do everything. You might think it is a small...

miniscule detail. But the reality is that the more you get everything in your life in order, the more in order your life gets. So I went for instance from having a messy background with all different picture frames to having a bunch of different objects that I used to like standing on the on the background of me. Like people used to comment on the objects in my background all the time. Like wow that's interesting that's cool. Now I just have two plants and three asymmetrical picture frames.

And the reason is because I was challenged to get that in order. And honestly, the best way to make the biggest changes by starting with the small, stupid things. This was one of the first things I did before I started getting my life in order. I wish I could tell you I'm joking. Somebody out there is sitting there right now. One of your listeners is saying this guy is full of shit. I guarantee that. And that's OK. You don't have to believe me. But I'm telling you, one of the biggest things to change my life was getting the same

because it started challenging me to look at what else in my life is not in order. What else in my life needs to have more meticulous detail? What else in my life could I be matching and potentially doing at a better level? And it all started with that small perspective shift, that one thing that seemingly makes no difference to anybody, like even you, so you probably got on, you're like, this guy has a nice background, I like his picture frames.

Vin Infante (29:28.662)
But you didn't know just how important those picture frames were, right? Because I didn't know it at the time either. So my best piece of advice to anyone who wants to start changing is get your crap in order. The smallest things, get your room in order, get your background in order, get your office in order, get everything in order in your space, and then watch everything else can start to follow.

Sue (29:32.216)
Mm-hmm.

Sue (29:52.553)
Hmm. That is, I've heard that and see that all the time. And again, like those little small changes, you know, we're kind of always looking at that finish line, but not focused on those little like day in and day out stuff, right? So that's a great, then now tell us, you know, I know you have a thing on your website.

a vision board, like download. And I think it's so cool that you're into this, but there's something, there's kind of like a different approach you take to that. So can you break that down for us?

Vin Infante (30:25.77)
Yeah, so we call it the no bullshit mission board. So it is like a vision board, but it's better for two reasons. Is one because I made it. And number two is because of the fact that it really challenges you. Now, if you guys have been catching the theme of this, it's all about intentionality. I am a very big fan of telling people actively participate in your life, proactively create it, have reactions that challenge you to look at life with enthusiasm.

My mission board does just that. You get your typical vision board and all of a sudden, what's the guidance? Put up a bunch of stupid photos, make it collage, put everything you want on it, decorate it, glitter, sparkle. People spend, Sue, people spend more time creating the damn vision board than they do actually utilizing it for a tool, because it's supposed to be a tool. So I like to look at it and say, you don't need more useless crap on your wall, which ultimately, that's what it will be if you don't know how to utilize it.

So my mission board challenges you to do some of the things from your typical vision board, which would be put out some of the photos of the things you want to achieve in your life, right? Put a few I am present tense affirmations on said things. But the way that mine starts to differentiate is I also challenge people to one, add quotes to their board. I'm a big fan of quotes. Quotes have helped me change my life. And the reason being is that they're timeless pieces of wisdom that you could pull upon when you need a perspective shift.

One of the biggest things I've struggled with in my life was putting my, I have high expectations if you couldn't tell Sue, but one of the biggest things that I've struggled with is putting my high expectations on those around me until one day I read this quote by Marcus Aurelius, who was the greatest stoic of all times. He was also one of the greatest Roman emperors of all times. And his quote was be strict with yourself and tolerant of others. And I was like, wow, what a concept. How could I have not understood that? It only took a guy who's been dead for 2000 years to impart that wisdom on me. And so.

When I would have moments where I felt like maybe I was being unreasonable with people, I had to ask myself, am I being tolerant of others and strict with myself or vice versa? Am I being tolerant of myself, putting my expectations on others and being strict with other people? And when I was able to ask that question, because I remember that piece of wisdom, I was able to really start shifting and reel in my expectations and keep my standards to me and let other people do whatever the hell they're going to do and not bother me. So that's why I'm a fan of quotes.

Vin Infante (32:52.118)
And then the other piece of my board that's really different is I challenge you to make personal mission, vision, and value statements, as well as if you have a business, if you're an entrepreneur, also make a entrepreneurial slash business mission, vision, and value statements. And those should be at the center of your board. And that's basically going to challenge you to build that identity we're talking about. And then the best practical use to pair your mission board with life is to implement daily

journaling practices, implement visualization practices, right? Challenge yourself to look at something on that board and say, I'm going to work towards this today, put that in your journal. Or challenge yourself to take it as an action. So I really want people to pair the board with other practical tools so that they're not just sitting there staring at this freaking board every day, being like, oh wow, that's such a pretty board. I remember when I had dreams in 20 years past. I want you to actually take it and do something with it today.

Sue (33:51.641)
I love that then mission board. I think that's so cool. And again, that practical guidance there that you're giving us like applicable stuff that people can start using right now. That's so awesome. Okay. So a couple of things. First and foremost, you have been so awesome, so insightful, and I just love what you're up to. I love your energy and you embody all of what

you're teaching and I just, I think that's so awesome. And I loved this conversation.

Vin Infante (34:25.602)
Well, thanks, Stu. You've asked great questions and you have had a absolutely perfect smile through and through.

Sue (34:32.104)
Thank you so much. Then you were so awesome. Now in closing, if there was just one message, your hope for everybody, what is that closing message you want to leave us with?

Vin Infante (34:45.694)
I usually like to end off on a quote, but I'm getting something different that I should be saying today. And I think based on our conversation, my closing message to you and your audience is stop settling. You know that you are worth so much more. You know that your capacity is so much greater. And maybe you don't know that you have way more power and capability that's already within you. And as someone who's lived for a victim for more time than they've been a victor.

I want to personally tell you that you can do it because I am not special. I haven't done anything that I think is noteworthy. I've just been someone who has refused to sit on the sidelines and let life pass me by. I was someone who grew absolutely tired of being someone who I didn't want to be. You have that same capability, so stop believing your bullshit story. I love you. Go change your damn life.

Sue (35:43.378)
What a powerful closing message. I love it. Vin, you were so awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Vin Infante (35:50.21)
Thanks for having me.