S4E02 - Turntable Tales: How DJs Shape the Ultimate Wedding Reception

In this engaging conversation, we chat with DJ Abe Lee (he/him) about the   world of wedding planning and DJing, sharing personal anecdotes and insights into the evolving role of DJs in creating memorable events. We discuss the importance of preparation, understanding client preferences, and the unique moments that can arise during weddings. Abe emphasizes the significance of energy and connection in making events unforgettable, while also addressing the challenges of balancing guest requests with the couple's wishes. The conversation culminates in a fun 'save or splurge' game, highlighting key decisions in wedding planning.

Website: Lee Entertainment

Instagram: @lee_entertainment.ca

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:12

Welcome to That's Rad, life, love, and wedding planning in the Pacific Northwest, where our goal is to educate and elevate. I'm Rad, your host and wedding planner in Victoria, BC. And today I am joined by Abraham Lee of Lee Entertainment, a local DJ on Vancouver Island. Hi, Abe. Thank you for joining us. How's your day? My

SPEAKER_00 0:31

day is great. Thanks so much for having me. I'm so honored to be here. I'm so excited

SPEAKER_03 0:37

to have you on. I know we talk all the time when we see each other at any sort of social vendor event, but it's always so loud. And I've always been like, you know what? It'd be great to have like a one-on-one conversation with you. I'm

SPEAKER_00 0:49

here. I'm here.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

I'm really glad. I wanted to ask you first before we jump into everything. I saw you do like an ice bucket challenge, but with a giant excavator. How did that start? So

SPEAKER_00 1:01

a buddy of mine... A friend of mine that goes back, I think, 17 years, we are super competitive with each other. And he went to Florida with his daughter for the ice bucket challenge. Well, no, for her cheerleading competition. And while she was there, she challenged her dad. And then he called me out in front of a bunch of people. But he did like this little baby bucket. And I was like, all right, I got to one up. So yeah. A friend of mine is building a house right beside mine. And they had an excavator there, went over and asked the operator, hey, you mind dumping a bunch of water on me? And he was like, yeah, that'd be cool. So we filled it with ice and water and away we went.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

That's fantastic. How cold was

SPEAKER_00 1:51

it? It was super cold. But in that ice bucket challenge, I learned that This all started at a college to raise funds, and the cause was super great. So, I mean, anything for a good cause, I'll do it.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Yeah, it's for ALS, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Correct. Correct. They were bringing it back again.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

Awesome. Yeah, that's fantastic. So, on to DJing. How did you get here?

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Well, you know, back in 1982, my dad was a DJ. My dad was a DJ and they used to call me his pocketbook because he would be playing the turntables and I'd be a little baby in his hand. And in Jamaica, you know, it doesn't matter where you go, you always have your kids with you. And my dad was a DJ and it inspired me to become a DJ. And so it's sort of in the blood, you would say, quote unquote.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Yeah, but I'm sure the technology has changed quite a bit since 1982.

UNKNOWN 2:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Believe it or not, it's become easier, not harder. That's good. It's become a lot easier. Yeah. Yeah. Back when my dad used to DJ, we used to have, like, the older I got, the more help I got to give him. And we used to walk around with crates, like a milk crate with records in there. So when a bride or groom would walk up to you, well, my dad would DJ, and they'd walk up to him and request a song. If he didn't have the record, there was no finding it on the internet right there and then.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

yeah

SPEAKER_00 3:29

so

SPEAKER_03 3:29

yeah that's got to be hard also like how do you keep that all organized too at the end of the day

SPEAKER_00 3:34

yeah yeah back in the day when my dad was a dj you would have two or three guys on set where now we technically can do it with one person because one guy is scanning through the records one guy is taking them out wiping them off and then passing them to the dj so You know what job I was on, to wipe off the records, hand them to my dad.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

Yeah. That's so interesting to see that this happened so young. Was there ever a point where you were like, no, I'm not going to be like my dad. I'm going to go do my own thing?

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Actually, funny enough, it took a while to become like my dad because I did it when I was young and thought it was fun. But then when I moved to Canada, I didn't really know there was a market for it or I could get into it. Just being from a third world country, you come up here and it's like a whirlwind of events you're trying to provide for yourself. So I was in the military doing all the regular nine to five jobs, just trying to make ends meet. And then one day, a good buddy of mine, and you know him too, Glenn Lewis, said to me, Abe, you DJ all the time. Why not? Why not get into the field? And I looked into it, and then another bride volunteered to be a DJ at her wedding. And at the end of the wedding, she walked up to me and was like, I know you volunteered for this, but here's four grand. Go start your own business. And that's where it happened.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

That's phenomenal. I'm so glad that happened. Oh,

SPEAKER_00 5:08

man. I am too.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Yeah. So when somebody books you... How do you prepare for that? I know you said you have a wedding coming up this weekend.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

So preparation for wedding. So typically a lot of people, I mean, I would say 75% book months in advance. So we have a client portal on my website that they go on and they have full access to just put all their notes in there and then a boat up. Three weeks out, four weeks out, I get on a final planning call with them and just run through the notes that they put in there. And then the week of, I create a note, you know, the Apple note and put all my notes in the Apple note. And then I share it with the client if they have an Apple phone so that on the day of, if she wants to make that last minute edit and we know we've all been there before. So you can just make the edit and it's making it on my phone at the same time. So to make easy communication.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

That's fantastic. I love Apple notes for that reason too. All the time. Now I know that you guys are really helpful in making days run smoothly, but like, I know some people are like, Oh no, I can just do like a homemade playlist. I don't need to get a DJ. What role do you think that, you playing, creating a smooth flow in like the key moments, like the first dance, the speeches, the cape cutting? So

SPEAKER_00 6:42

that is a really great question because I look at DJ's role is more than just playing music. It's reading the room, right? So you would have created a playlist and so do we. We create playlists or a plan set so we have sort of a guideline, but I don't know all your family members till I get there. And then upon meeting family members, like one time I met a 90-year-old grandma that was there, and she requested Get Low. Now, the bride and groom did not even request that song. And when grandma requested it, it told me a little bit about the history of their family, that they're fun. And then I just made some switches. So that's the kind of vibe a DJ carries, like that. He's able to hear things during the day and make that alteration to the playlist where if you have a set playlist, you're skipping through and there's no flow. So that's bringing that joy to the event, right?

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Yes, definitely. So that brings me to my next question. What do you think makes an event or a reception truly unforgettable?

SPEAKER_00 7:55

The energy of the family. Honestly, I mean, the DJ... vibes off that energy. And I often ask when I work with a wedding planner or I'm working straight with a couple that I get to sit at a table with the family or with friends so that during dinner I'm gathering information, feeding off of that energy because that energy flows into the dance floor and sets the tone for a great reception.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

That is so interesting because I feel like Dakota on the last episode said something similar about like, you know, having people there that are going to like make you feel like really good about the day and like not add any drama. And I feel like that's so true no matter what industry you're in within the wedding industry. That

SPEAKER_00 8:47

doesn't matter. I agree with that totally because I mean, I have to give props out to all my vendor teams, right? When you put a good vendor team together from your photographer, your DJ, your wedding planner like yourself, us working harmoniously together to pull off this day for the bride and groom and make their day special is also where the energy comes from, right? So it all stitches it together.

UNKNOWN 9:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Yeah. So what if somebody said to you, we absolutely do not want you to play, I don't know, Taylor Swift. And then they have some guests who are like, we want some Taylor Swift. What do you do?

SPEAKER_00 9:27

That is an amazing question because That happens so often, so much with like YMCA, for example, or Taylor Swift. And I go, that's a great request. Amazing. I actually love that song. Let me find a perfect moment to stitch it in. And then I will talk to the bride and groom. Like they always come over to check or the bride comes over to request the song. And I say, oh yeah, aunt just requested this song. How would you feel about me dropping a remix version of that song? And 95% of the time, because Auntie's drunk, they say yes. And sometimes they say no, but Auntie's drunk, so she doesn't even remember her request anyway. So it's a fun time.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

That's perfect. That's such a great way to handle that.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yeah. It's super important how you handle the guest family, too. I always say to all my fellow DJs and something I'm doing also is training the next generation of DJs coming up. I was looking for young talent that wants to get into the business. And one of the things we talk about is how do you communicate with guests at a party? Because you never know who's getting married next and you want to be able to go from that wedding to that wedding. Get that referral. Hey, do you have the number for the DJ? So how you treat people at the wedding is super important.

SPEAKER_03 10:59

Yes, and I feel like a lot of the times that's going to be what leaves an elastic impression. Yes. Yeah. So I'm going to ask you, what's the most unexpected song or moment that you've ever seen that turned out actually to be a huge hit at a wedding? I

SPEAKER_00 11:19

would say the... biggest moment for me at a wedding was that 90 year old grandma asking about get low because i think she even got lower than a bride like they were all dancing together and grandma was fit like a fiddle and like it was hilarious it was it was a fun moment nobody expected like you'd look at her and think you're looking at the queen of england

SPEAKER_03 11:46

Like

SPEAKER_00 11:46

she carried herself proper. You know, your mom ever wore those brooches on her outfit? And then she had on the very dainty hat and it's like she would stick out her pinky for a cup of tea. So when that song was requested, I was like, you sure? Like, okay, here we go. And she got everybody on that dance floor. So it was amazing.

SPEAKER_03 12:11

Yeah, that's fantastic. I know we did a wedding for a couple in their seventies and I was assuming that we were going to be ending early, but they were there till the very end dancing with their friends and like all of the younger people had already gone home and yeah, they were having a fantastic time. I

SPEAKER_00 12:30

mean, age is only a number is all I got to say. They make it so true.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

I have definitely learned that from planning weddings.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

The other one other one was I love working with engineers because they surprise me. You think an engineer is so square because he's so like you go through this planning call with them often on Google Meet and they don't crack a smile. They're not laughing with you. It's all business. It's like a checkbox and they're just getting it done. And then you see them on the dance floor. And this one engineer was so introverted. It's so introverted, like quiet on the whole call. The night of, he had the bride on his shoulders, kicking, dancing and doing all these things. And I was like, man, this was a fun party.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

Yeah, sounds like it. It was amazing. So how do you find guests in couples when they're planning their wedding playlist? Do you find that they pick songs that only they like or do you think that it's like a little bit of both where they are picking songs they like as well as what they get their guests like?

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Well, what? Often how I handle that section when we go through that planning call. So I go through an interview call with them and then a planning call. On the interview call, I make recommendations. So I never really run into that road because I say in my interview call, the way I like to handle things is you will have many different types of people there. Focus on songs you don't want there. Give me a list of that so I can reference it. And then Give me 20 songs that are your vibe. Like you're playing in the car and you'll start singing and then I'll add to it. And then also send a list out to your family if you desire and let them add to it. No, not every song will get played, but now I have a range of knowing where your family is and that will guide my night too.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

That's fantastic. Yeah, you're building in a lot of experiences for the guests that way too, so that they can feel included in the planning. Oh

SPEAKER_00 14:45

yeah, 100%. And my goal every night, every wedding night is to get those ties, the neckties around the head and the shirts

SPEAKER_03 14:54

open. Oh my gosh, I have a funny story about that. I was doing a wedding at Heartwood & Co. They don't do weddings there anymore, but it was really hot and I left to go like clean up something in the back. I came back and everybody had their shirt off and neckties on. And I was like, wow, the DJ just really turned it around.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

I remember playing a country wedding and this was planned, but I didn't know it was planned. The bridal party, All the guys had these shirts on and literally the groom went over to them, hooked his hand in and just ripped the sleeve to where they were halfway down like Tarzan. And then the shirts opened up and you just had like eight guys just on the dance floor to the song Yandam Style with their shirts open and the sweat everywhere. And I was just like, it was a great night. It was a great night.

SPEAKER_03 15:49

So now this might be a trade secret, but what are your... key elements to making your playlists or the reception feel extra special besides what we talked about already?

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Really, it sort of circles back to the same thing, getting to know the couple. I asked if it's going to be hard for us to have a planning meeting where we can meet. So it's really the journey up to the wedding. Because the more I get to talk to the couple leading up to the wedding through text, through Google Meet calls, that helps me build a vibe, which then sets the tone for the night. And to me, it is everything. It is everything. Because I really believe a DJ at a wedding, there's a difference between a wedding DJ and a club set DJ. Pub set DJ, we go in, we have our set list, we built our remixes, and we're going in there to perform. A wedding DJ, I'm a fly on the wall that keeps the energy going. I'm not the highlight. The bride and groom are the highlight. And it's like, how can I get the light to shine on you more and more and more so that at the end of the night, your cup is full? And that five-star Google rating, you can't even wait to put it down.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

Now, speaking of, I know that you're engaged. You're getting married next year. So how has being in the industry changed your perspective in the decision-making process?

SPEAKER_00 17:26

It's changed it in the sense that I don't have too many friends. I have too many friends because we're going through this process. And when it comes on to marriage, my vendor relations i'm like all right who am i getting because like i'm good friends with everybody right so but again i really respect the art of what everybody does because when you go through it yourself you really understand being in the industry you now understand the value so that when somebody quotes their price i don't i'm not surprised Because you see it firsthand behind the scenes. So it's different that way for me. Because I really appreciate having a planner, like a wedding planner to me. I told my fiance, like, I'm not even, that's not even a question. When you get a wedding planner, you pay for the journey up to it. And she takes all the stress away from me.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Yeah, it's good to have somebody along the way, that's for sure. And I mean, it's also interesting to see that you've already assigned a value to it because you see the behind the scenes. Because I know, and you may get this too, where you sometimes get a couple and one person's really sold on hiring you and the other person is like, I need some convincing still.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Totally, totally. The value is everything because... I think that most people, almost every vendor, not most people, all vendors, their value is even below what technically you should be charging. Because it's a lot of time, it's a lot of prep. And then you're leaving your family on that day. You're actually leaving your family two weeks before during the preparation period. Because I'm in the studio here building playlists and organizing music at least two hours a night. After my day time. But I love doing it.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

Yeah. And I think that's the most important part. Is also hiring people. And working with people. That you know love doing it. Just like you do.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Yes. I love doing it. And that's a big thing that I'm looking for. As I grow my company. Is I'm looking for DJs. Like I have a desire. To raise the next. Season of DJs. but not only working for me. I want to teach them the art and then train them on growing their own business. So they start with Lee Entertainment, but within a year, they have their own brand, their own company, and they go and then repeat the process.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

Community over competition at work. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

All right.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

From there, I have like a little game I want to play with you since you are planning your wedding right now. And I wish your fiance was here for this too, but... We can ask her another time.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

Okay. It's going to be save or splurge. So you tell me what you would save on or splurge on. And it's just go as fast as you want. You can think about it too if you want for a second. So would you hire a top tier photographer and videographer or go with a budget friendly version? I

SPEAKER_00 20:55

would be in the middle. Can I be in the middle on that one? Yes, of course. Because it's super important for me to have a photographer. I just think the videographer part of it, I wouldn't be more focused on reels versus a whole video of every section of the day. Like a content creator. Yes. More content than anything else.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

Okay. I think I already know the answer about this, but would you hire a wedding planner or handle all the details yourself?

UNKNOWN 21:27

Great.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Would

SPEAKER_03 21:30

you get a full open bar or just do beer and wine? I

SPEAKER_00 21:37

would get do beer and wine because majority of my family that are coming are non-drinkers.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

That's fair. Yeah, you really got to know your guest list. Yeah. All right. Would you go for a hotel or a DIY space that you can do whatever you want with?

SPEAKER_00 21:55

I would do both. That would be a her question. What's right for her? Because for her, for both of us, it's the pictures after. What does it look like? What does the setting look like? So, you know, shout out to Laurel Point, Parksville and Tynemere. Two epic venues, but two complete different styles. And they're both beautiful. So it's like, which one? I would splurge because of whatever she wants to do.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

That's a very good answer. Would you go with the large over the top floral arrangements or would you go with minimalist decor, maybe not even any flowers?

SPEAKER_00 22:35

So again, that one is over to her. Her desire is what she gets. You don't have

SPEAKER_03 22:43

any opinion on it?

SPEAKER_00 22:44

My opinion on it is I'm not walking with the flower, so If she has a look that she's dreaming about, because, you know, you think about it. Every girl dreams about their sweet 16. And then the next big dream is their wedding day. And she has this picture 50 years before even meeting me. So I can't take away from that. So it would be a spurt from me to give her what she wants.

SPEAKER_03 23:11

Right. Yeah. Okay. How about plate of dinner or a buffet?

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Buffet.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Buffet. Because I know we are not drinkers in my family, but we can eat. So I want to be able to have as much meat as I want and go that way versus plated dinner. And it gives you a chance to get up and break up that sit down and hold still. Kind of thing. So I like that. I like the buffet. That's

SPEAKER_03 23:40

fair. And I know this is a little off topic, but I just found out that there's people now doing, if you RSVP first, you get to go up to the dinner buffet first.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Cool. Are you going to

SPEAKER_03 23:53

do

SPEAKER_00 23:54

that? You just told me how I run that one buyer again. Yeah. I love playing the games. Like, you know, you have those apps on your phone. So all the questions about the, about a couple and then you answer the question and whoever gets the highest score at the table with the highest score, they go first. That's one of my favorites.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

That's a lot of fun too. Okay, I'm going to keep going. Sorry, I got sidetracked. No worries. Favors for every guest or skip them entirely?

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Favors for every guest.

SPEAKER_03 24:26

All right. And what about the cake? This is a very good question. A really big cake or would you go with simple sheet cake? Do you even like cake?

SPEAKER_00 24:36

I like cake. The cake is sort of one of the highlights for me because I am a cake guy. And big, big yes, because I want to save a layer for every year celebration. So freeze it for all the years. So like have a cake cut up into 10 pieces and every year you get to open a piece. That's something I saw my... grandma do my mom do so i want to do something like that so yeah

SPEAKER_03 25:12

that's fantastic i was asking that question then i was like wait maybe he doesn't like cake

SPEAKER_00 25:15

no i like cake definitely like cake

SPEAKER_03 25:20

all right now you might be a little biased here for this one but i'm gonna ask it anyways band or dj you

SPEAKER_00 25:28

know what i would say DJ. The only reason I say DJ is the band. You'd have to have a really great band that knows almost every song so they can take requests where the band's going to ask you for a set list. And I'm probably not Haberish. I don't know that for sure, but I enjoyed the DJ's versatility of being able to play whatever. can get requests, and with the internet nowadays, within a second, even if he didn't have the song, he could have the song.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

Yeah, I mean, and why not both if you have the budget for it?

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Yeah, yeah, both too. As a DJ, I will say, I once have played with a band that played right before me, and it's a different mood where a DJ blends all the songs together and just keeps the dance floor going. The band starts and stops, starts and stops, starts and stops. Hence, it's hard to hold that crowd on the floor. And normally by the time the DJ takes over, everybody's like, yeah, I'm tired. I don't want to go dance anymore. And I'm like, so that's why I'm sort of biased on that one.

SPEAKER_03 26:41

No, that's totally fair. All right. Well, that's all for today. Thank you so much for being on the show. I really appreciate you taking the time and looking forward to seeing photos from your wedding. And hopefully we will see you out there on the dance floor soon.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Yes. And again, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for bringing out season four. What you're doing here is amazing, like absolutely amazing. You are a very talented person. And just blessings over you and your company and just wishing you all the success this year.

SPEAKER_03 27:15

Thank you so much. Last thing before we go, is there anywhere that people can get in touch with you, see what you're all about?

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Right now, I'm one person away from hitting 2,000 followers. The goal for this year is to hit 3,500. So Instagram is what I'm pushing right now. But I do have a website, www.leeentertainment.ca. Or, yeah, just go on there. Follow me on Instagram. I try to put out some mixtapes every week. So, yeah, enjoy.

SPEAKER_03 27:50

Fantastic. Thank you so much, Abe.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 27:53

Bye.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

A huge thank you to Abe for joining us this week. We will see you here next Tuesday with another guest and great conversation. As always, you do you and stay rad.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Let's get up.