S4E03 - Sacred & Celebrated: Weaving Tradition Into Your Wedding

In this episode, we chat with Cecilia Penner (she/her), an officiant from Victoria, BC, about the nuances of wedding ceremonies. We discuss Cecilia's journey into officiating, the differences between marriage commissioners and officiants, and the importance of creating meaningful ceremonies. The conversation also touches on the significance of inclusivity in the wedding industry, the incorporation of traditions, rituals, and event language into a ceremony. Cecilia shares insights on how to make ceremonies more authentic and engaging, as well as recommendations for books that can help couples and vendors navigate the wedding planning process.

Website: All Seasons Weddings

Instagram: @vancouverislandweddinglady

How to Write Wedding Vows Podcast Episode 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:12

Welcome to That's Rad, life, love, and wedding planning in the Pacific Northwest. where our goal is to educate and elevate. I am Radhika, planner and owner of Radications, and today I am joined by Cecilia Penner from All Seasons Weddings, one of the many talented officiants here in Victoria, BC. Welcome to the show, Cecilia. Thank you for

SPEAKER_00 0:30

being here. Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, it's wonderful. Thanks, Rad. And you're joining us

SPEAKER_03 0:35

from Quench today?

SPEAKER_00 0:37

I am at Club Quench, the co-working space, and this is a whole new experience for me. It's very interesting to be here. It's a beautiful space.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

It definitely is. That yellow couch is something.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Yes, it is. It's a bit noisy out there, so I'm tucked in a little room all by myself.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

Well, we can't really hear much. We can hear you, though.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Ah, it's good.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

So how was your day?

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Good. Found a parking spot. Life is good. It

SPEAKER_03 1:02

is always lucky in downtown Victoria.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

So

SPEAKER_03 1:06

I'm going to get right into it because I know it's wedding season and we're all so busy. But can you tell me more about what led you to where you are today?

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Well, you know. weddings and little girls, right? It's always been a thing. So I was raised in a faith-based household. And so we always went to church and Sunday school and all of that. And it was always very exciting on a Sunday when there was still confetti on the church steps. And so, you know, lots of questions about that. And I had never been to a wedding. I had no opportunity to go. So it wasn't until actually I was in my 20s that I actually did didn't go to a wedding, but I was always just fascinated with the whole concept of the dress and, you know, the things that you saw on TV about the pomp and the ceremony and everything. And I thought that would be really cool. I come from a family of ministers as well. So, you know, there was lots of conversation about how you do things in the church and the structure of things and so on like that. Never any pressure to follow suit or anything like that. But I just, it's always sort of been at the back of my mind. The first wedding that I went to was actually a really, really big disappointment in terms of the ceremony. I mean, the rest of it was really fun. But the ceremony was about the church and it was not about the couple. I just, I felt so kind of bereft for the couple that nothing that was spoken was about them. and about their love and that kind of thing. And I just, I was sort of had this, oh, I could do better than that kind of feeling, which is a little bit arrogant, but you know, when you're 20, whatever. And at that time you couldn't do weddings unless you were ordained in a church and, you know, you had a congregation and that sort of thing. And so, you know, then you get on with life. I was a teacher for many years. And so that in many ways kind of satisfied me. the presentation component of what I felt I had as a gift to offer. And there was enough ceremony with graduations and other events and, you know, assemblies honoring this and that, that it just, it sort of fulfilled a need that way. I always loved the graduation. I taught high school, so high school graduation is a pretty big thing. So that was really fun. When When I moved to BC, I was in Ontario for most of my career, but when we moved to BC, there was the whole thing about marriage commissioners, which I had never heard of before. And I thought, oh, that's kind of interesting. And again, another disappointment, you had to be retired. You also had to pass a handwriting test. So strike two, I was out. And it was just, I thought it was a ridiculous thing, but you know, whatever, nobody appreciates my opinion about the marriage commissioner application process. So when I did retire, I thought this would be my opportunity And I'm not quite sure what happened that I got kind of off in a different direction into officiating rather than being a marriage commissioner. And I'm so glad that I found out about that because there's a whole lot more scope for individuality and customization and so on. So that was really, really a lovely thing. to be able to get into I found all seasons weddings I didn't know of any others and I didn't know any other way to get in and so I thought oh well that would be good and so as they say the rest is history

SPEAKER_03 4:56

well I'm so glad that you found that and I love that it started at such a young age too in a different way that you were focusing so much on the ceremony

SPEAKER_00 5:05

yes yeah I you know like I always say to couples that we are hardwired for ceremony and ritual and there's something about the predictability but with little variations and you know and that sort of thing like we just we we love it we need it you've touched

SPEAKER_03 5:24

on the marriage commissioner and what's the difference between working with someone like you or a marriage commissioner

SPEAKER_00 5:31

so a marriage commissioner is hired by the government and They have a very set script, which is the civil ceremony. Now, recently, they've allowed marriage commissioners to be able to do some customization and they get paid a minimal amount to be able to make customizations. However, they don't provide any training for the commissioners as to what they could include. So it's pretty much up to them to decide or up to the couples to ask for things. Marriage commissioners don't make as much money as officiants and celebrants do, which is fair enough. They're expected to do as many ceremonies in a day as they possibly can, given their geographical jurisdiction, which is quite limited. And if they are doing a ceremony outside of their jurisdiction, they have to ask for permission from the commissioners who are there. So it's a bit of a process. The geographical limitations are surprising in some ways, but it is the system that it is, and Vital Statistics has its rules for setting that up. An officiant is affiliated with another organization. We are loosely clergy. and so because you either have to be a government official or clergy to officiate so we all have some affiliation with some sort of a spiritually based organization whether or not we include any of that is completely up to the celebrants do a little bit of a different take on things. Their ceremonies tend to be a little bit longer, much more detailed, kind of very, very personal. I'm sort of the middle of the road between the celebrant ceremony and a marriage commissioner, where there is a lot of personalization. There's a certain template with the different elements of the ceremony that can be included or not, depending on what the couple wants. But there is very definitely the personalization component, which is what I think makes it a little bit more of um a heartwarming choice.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

Yes. And I very much appreciate when a couple hires an officiant or a celebrant as opposed to marriage commissioner. No hate out there to the marriage commissioners. It's just, I find that the ceremony then gets the attention that it deserves. And I don't know if you find this, but do you find sometimes that the ceremony is the part that people just want to get over with and move on to the reception?

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Yeah, I think so for the most part. However, I think that's changing a little bit. And certainly the pandemic had a lot to do with that because there was nothing else that you could do except the ceremony. There was no gathering, there was no dance or anything like that. And so people started to realize, yeah, we can make the ceremony really count and we can engage with the ceremony in a much more personal way. I think there's sort of a lot of historical carryover where The ceremony in the church was just the ticket to the party, basically. And a lot of people didn't even bother going to the church. I was always surprised when there would be maybe 40 people at the church and 200 people at the dinner and reception. How is that even fair? you're there to get married and the married part is the part that happens in the ceremony so but you know my faith is restored rad because I had contact with a couple this week and I was you know chatting with them about stuff and said and who are your other vendors because usually I'm like sixth or seventh on the list if not last and so They said, oh, we haven't booked anybody else because we figured the officiant is the most important because without you, it's not a wedding. And I thought, oh, I love you already. Like, this is wonderful. That was just, that was so refreshing and just kind of gave me a little bit of a boost, you know, to get through another busy season that somebody really gets it.

SPEAKER_03 9:50

And that's so nice. I know I always am saying if there's no ceremony, then we're just throwing a party. Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 9:56

exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So it's nice to have that recognition.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

So do you feel like there's something that maybe couples gloss over when they're planning their ceremony? They

SPEAKER_00 10:07

don't tend to focus on sort of the welcoming and the setting the tone and telling everybody like we are gathered and we are gathered with intention. We are gathered with attention. We're here for a purpose. You're here because... You were invited because you mean something to the people and your support is important to them. And I've had a number of couples when they get to look at the script, just say, yeah, can we scrap all that? We just want to get to the I do question, the vows, the rings, and then we're out of here. And I think it sort of leaves a bit of a gap.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

I feel that for sure. We've been having that conversation with some of our couples from this year where they're doing custom ceremonies and they're having a friend or a family member officiate.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

And I'm

SPEAKER_03 11:01

definitely finding that the explanation piece seems to be something that is off to the side and it's more of the, let's get to the basics, the structure of the house essentially, instead of like the foundation.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Exactly. Yeah. And it's, People want to feel like their presence is important, and they need to feel like they are part of the ceremony. Their presence, their attention, their involvement is super important to the whole process.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

Oh, I

SPEAKER_00 11:35

think so. And that sort of gets down to the whole purpose of ritual and ceremony, and that is that we all feel like there's some kind of a transformation that's taken place. You know, we come in with expectations, we go through all the things, and then we leave with a different feeling you know we are we are feeling more fulfilled or we are feeling enriched or we are feeling just even just feeling the love you know of everything it's just that transformation component is a really really lovely part of it

SPEAKER_03 12:14

really is so i want to ask With all the trends that are happening now and like with everybody getting like this wedding dysmorphia almost, do you find that authenticity is sometimes lacking or do you find that people struggle with how they make the ceremony most authentic to them? To

SPEAKER_00 12:31

a degree. I think they don't really fully understand the extent to which they can make it authentic. That there are many, many things that can be incorporated into the ceremony and that there is really no set recipe anymore you know we have one legal question that has to be asked and that is not the question of impediment because that's gone now that is that does anybody object thing and people don't understand that that's just not a thing anymore and actually for us for people of the clergy it's just been two years that we didn't we didn't have to ask however i think in the civil ceremony they still say as part of what you say is i know of no lawful impediment as to why I can't marry this person. So that's a lot of big words. You know, you're really excited and saying all those things about inalienable rights and things like that. Like it's a bit of a stumper on a highly emotional day. So I think that understanding that whatever is important to you could be included in the ceremony is really, really necessary for couples to take the time to explore. For example, having their pets, having children, doing any kind of a unity ceremony or a faith-based or a cultural ritual that they like to include.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Yes. And I know that another, well, she's a celebrant, Barbara, was mentioning the coffee that her couple combined for their unity ceremony. And I really loved that

SPEAKER_00 14:06

yeah that's a really cool idea to do that yeah

SPEAKER_03 14:10

have you seen anything um interesting like that and that sticks out to you over the years well

SPEAKER_00 14:17

there have been many things a lot of people have done hand fasting and you know everybody says oh yeah everybody's seen a hand fasting you know tying the knots and everything but there can be some really cool elements to that too. You know, people have hand dyed or eco dyed strips of fabric and they've, it's especially a cool thing for blended families because then what I've seen done a few times is every child and the parents each get a ribbon, they're draped over the hands, everything is tied together to symbolize the joining, not just of the couple in marriage, but of the two families in this marriage. And that's a really cool thing. really, really nice way to involve everybody and also makes it very, very personal. And so in the script, I like to say, you know, these strips of fabric were created, you know, however they were done. There was a couple whose one mother was in Germany, one mother was here. And so they had never met each other in person before. They embroidered a hand fasting cloth together to represent the two kids. When they got together like a week or so before the wedding, it was stitched together. So there was this beautiful ornate hand fasting band that was used in the ceremony. And so we told them the story about how that came to be and what the symbolism was. And it was extraordinary. It really was like everybody was just going. Oh, you know, like it really meant something. a little bit more, you know, than just tying a knot.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

That's giving me goosebumps.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

Yeah, it was really, really neat. But, you know, the sweetest one was a little tiny dog carried a hand fasting cord, which was rope from one of the Navy vessels because both of the parties getting married were in the Navy. And this was a ship that they had each sailed on, but not together. And so they took a piece of like two meters of the rope from the vessel And the little dog carried it up to them in the ceremony. And that was just like, you know, everybody was so crazy about that. It was just really, really wonderful. That's beautiful. Yeah, it's really neat. And, you know, with the sand ceremony, like everybody kind of rolls around and says, oh, sand ceremony, but... Thank God for Etsy and the creators on Etsy because you can get beautiful bespoke vessels to put the sand in. And of course here we are so blessed because we have so many beaches that sand can be collected from. And, you know, it's just, it's a really cool thing to have like sand from Prince Edward Island and sand from Vancouver Island blended together just to acknowledge the heritage and, you know, you know, all of that can't be separated stuff that is part of that script, but it's just, it's just so cool to be able to add such a personal element and be able to explain it to people. So they really understand and they're not thinking it's just a, you know, well, we're just paying lip service to having a ceremony within the ceremony type of thing. It's not that at all. So, but there have been some very, very unique ones too. So I think that, There was one wedding that I did where we did some Jewish customs. The ceremony took place under a chuppah, which is a canopy that has symbolism. The couple had the ketubah, which is the Jewish marriage contract, red. And then they did the stomping of the glass afterwards. And so that was really, really fun. And it's just... It's so lovely to be able to explain those things because sometimes even the people born into that faith no longer practice those traditions. And so it's new to them too. And it's exciting for them to hear about it so that they do the honoring. Anytime that you can include anything of heritage, I think is a really special thing. I've done modifications of the Saptapati, which is the seven steps or the seven circles in Hindu ceremony. And that's been that's very, very cool thing to do with the seven blessings spoken at each along the way. And a further thing that's very nice to do is to take the script for that and have seven people. Each read a section as the couple does the action for that, you know, and that's that's very meaningful. We've done an exchange of garlands after the signing to kind of seal the deal. And that was something that nobody had ever seen before of the people who were there, like of the Canadians who were there. And so that was a. Very, very enriching kind of beautiful thing to see because we just don't know about some of these things, you know.

SPEAKER_03 19:23

Definitely. And with that, if with these traditions, have you encouraged couples to make them their own or have they just wanted to do that themselves?

SPEAKER_00 19:33

I don't understand what you mean.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

Sorry. So with these traditions, did the couple want to incorporate them themselves or did they want to change them in any way?

SPEAKER_00 19:44

Oh, oh, I see. A little bit of both. Sometimes they just don't know what they could do and what some of the options are. For example, this Garland thing, one of the parties had no idea about that and the other just didn't think to mention it because there were so many other things going on. But I thought, well, this would just be a lovely, lovely thing to do. And so sometimes I think just like saying you can do whatever you want isn't enough. You have to just offer some opportunities and send people to Google to look up different things and to put certain qualifiers in front of unity ceremonies, like not just unity ceremonies, but unique or offbeat or unusual unity ceremonies or something like that that will get them to a place where And then often once they see things, they realize, oh, okay, well, we could do this because that would make it really meaningful for us. You know, and that's really neat. I encourage people to talk to their grandparents, their parents, and say, what did you do at your wedding? Is there anything that you might like us to include? And, you know, could we, would you consider allowing us to do that as part of our ceremony? because there are lots of conversations and opinions that happen around wedding planning, as we know. And so it's nice to, I guess, kind of take control of that and do the asking rather than waiting for them to ask if they're allowed to do something, parents and grandparents and other relatives and so on. So if you do a bit of research and take some initiative with that, I think it makes the process a lot smoother.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

Definitely. And have you ever had a wedding where there was several languages or two languages involved?

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Oh, yes, absolutely. I am not bilingual in anything. So I have worked with an interpreter where I've done the ceremony in English. And as I spoke the words, they were spoken in Vietnamese because the couple had no Vietnamese or no English rather. And so that was really, really cool. And it was... It was very special. to kind of hear those words in Vietnamese as well. And sometimes there was no translation, so it had to be in English. But I mean, for the most part, you know, the sentiment is definitely there. And I had actually helped the translator out a little bit by going to Google Translate and translating the whole ceremony into Vietnamese. And so he basically just had to edit it and put it in like language that is actually used, not what Google thinks Vietnamese is, you know. So, but that was, that was a really cool process. Um, when sometimes when like parents have not, they, they don't, they're not strong in that language, you know, the couple has been given the script ahead of time, they translate it for their parents and the parents follow along as we go, you know, and that is, that is just a really lovely thing I think to do as well. Um, there's no, you know, simultaneous translating caption or anything like that, that we can do, but, um, It's a lovely, lovely thing to do. So I'll talk about my nephew and his wife, because I don't think they'll mind. So she is French-Canadian, he is not. And so when they married, she said, I need to do something to kind of keep the peace with the French-Canadian component. And so they wrote their vows together, and they spoke them line by line. He said it in English, she said it in French. And it was amazing. Beautiful. And so couples have done that in other languages as well. You know, Hindi and English, English and Portuguese, English and Spanish. Like it's just it is there's something about saying those words in your own language where you can really put your heart into it. And so that is that is something. And if they. If they want to do personal vows in whatever language they have in common, they can certainly do that, but they can do that at their first look or they can do that privately after the ceremony. But for your guests who are there, to hear you speak your vows. It's nice to hear it in both languages. And then everybody's

SPEAKER_03 24:15

really glad that you mentioned that option of sharing vows at another time, because I know a lot of couples have that pressure of, oh, I have to think about saying this in front of everybody. And maybe I don't want to say everything I want to say in front of All of our guests.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 24:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

And doing vows at first look, I think, is very common. I

SPEAKER_03 24:35

think it's becoming more and more common. And I've even noticed some couples are opting for family vows. So they're seeing them in front of their wedding party and their family because those people were really important to their story. Oh, I haven't heard of that. That's a great idea. We just did that last year. It was the first for me.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 24:57

Yeah, that's great. So I know that the wedding industry has a long way to go when it comes to inclusion. And one of those groups is the LGBTQIA2S+. I wanted to make sure I got that right. What do you think needs to be done differently in the industry to create a sense of more belonging?

SPEAKER_00 25:20

Well, I think first of all, it's important to say that here anyway, and especially on the island, we're really, really lovely with with all these variations of couples you know in terms of delivering the ceremony in terms of celebrating doing all of the you know the decor and the the reception and the djs and all of that stuff like everybody is very very open we are required by law to deliver ceremonies to any couple who wants it. If they are legally free to marry, it's up to us to do that. And it's only people who are like clergy affiliated with the church that they can deny that community, a marriage ceremony. So the rest of us are obligated to deliver the ceremony. I know there are some vendors that choose not to serve that population and that is their choice. And there's certainly lots of opportunity for people to choose other people who are more inclusive. However, overall, I think the wedding industry needs to get on board with gender neutral language. Everything is bridegroom oriented and bridesmaids and groomsmen. And I think that calling the couple merriers and calling the attendants or just the wedding party people of honor. men of honor women of honor if you want to you know break it down even further but i think that that would be something that would be far more important is just to keep keep the gender out of it you know yes you're a bride however you can be wearing a gown and you could be non-binary you know, you can be wearing a tuxedo and identify as female. You know, it just, we have to just break away from that a little bit and just be two people getting married.

SPEAKER_03 27:19

It's very interesting you say that because I know one of our couples for next year, they were telling me that they had gone to a wedding show and they found that some vendors were surprised that they were together. And it kind of was a little off-putting for them. And I know even when When we do interviews, sometimes on this podcast, I hear the gendered language and it's always something that I'm like, okay, we definitely still have some work to do.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Yeah. And it's uncomfortable. It's like everything else that's different. You know, it is uncomfortable, but this is the 21st century. The laws in Canada are, you know, inclusion. And so we just have to work, I think, a little bit harder and a bit more consistently. And it's okay to, oops, I just kicked my table. It's okay to make mistakes. But, you know, you just say, oh, I know that that was wrong. Okay, let me correct that and move on, you know. It's especially hard for people of my generation. Like I am a boomer and the they them pronoun is awkward because, you know, I had grammar drilled into me as a kid in school and they them is plural. And so it's a shift and it just it takes concentration and it takes effort to do that. And it doesn't take a whole lot. to get into it and to be a whole lot more, uh, to feel more fluid with it, you know, and to feel more comfortable when you meet someone who is non-binary and you get to know them a little bit, it's, it, it's perfect, you know, and it's, I always like to say, like, I will struggle and, um, correct me, stop me, make me say it again, because I have to learn. And I'm very, very open to that. Like I don't, doesn't make any difference to me to be corrected. So it's just, it's a really, really important thing. I don't know if any wedding vendors have ever had a booth at the Pride Festival. It was something I wanted All Seasons Weddings to do, but it just, it wasn't it wasn't on their radar to do for this year, but I'm hoping maybe for next year we can have an officiant booth at Pride, because I think that would be pretty cool to do that. Maybe we can do it together. Well, you know, it would be fabulous to do that because it's just, why not? You know, like there are tattoo booths, there are all kinds of other things there. Like we should be present because it is couples in the LGBTQ community all the other letters and numbers community, they want to be married as well. You know, they want the commitment. It's legal. Why not?

SPEAKER_03 30:07

Definitely. And I feel like it's, it's gonna be like that, what you said, the learning, the relearning of how to address people the way that they want to, because I, like you, also have the same thing with the they, them. It was drilled into me and I'm finding that people are even extending it to like when we're out with our son and when he was younger and they couldn't tell what, if he was a boy or girl, they would just say, and what's their name? And I really liked that. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

Yeah. That's, yeah, that's very cool. So, you know, keeping in mind all of that, I think that that's, that would be the biggest thing. And, you know, the publications at the wedding shows are so, so oriented to bride and groom. And, yeah. I don't know. I just, yeah, we need to do better overall, I think.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

Definitely. It's a work in progress and that's why we have people like you that are talking about it. Well, thank you. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. So on that note, are there any books that you would recommend reading? couples or wedding vendors read to get a better understanding of themselves and how they make decisions for the day or how they approach the wedding potting process?

SPEAKER_00 31:30

I have a pile of books underneath my laptop here, so I'm going to try to pull them out and not make too much disturbance. The most important one in my life is this one and The Art of Gathering. And Priya Parker is just a brilliant gatherer. And she has so many incredible pieces of advice and sort of strategies for making every gathering something that is really memorable. You know, and it just, it basically comes down to setting the intention for the gathering, having a welcome and, you know, fulfilling the purpose and then having a proper goodbye. Because a lot of times we miss something. some of those elements. We don't have a good enough welcome, a good enough statement of intention, and often there just isn't a proper wrap-up, which I think is what a lot of people feel, you know, in any setting, not just a wedding, but that it's just like, oh, that sort of ended a bit flat, you know, and the send-off should be just as dramatic as the starting. So she has some really, really good ideas. I follow her on Instagram, and she is just she's so funny and she just has some of the best ideas for like regular everyday life which is just really nice so that would be the first one okay sorry this is just going to be a little bit awkward here okay this is another one the power of ritual and it is it is an incredibly interesting book for understanding about What I mentioned before about how we're hardwired for ritual and the need that it fulfills in us. For couples, I would recommend this. And I got this just from Amazon. This fellow, J.P. Reynolds, I followed a podcast that he was on. The podcast isn't around anymore, but the episodes are archived. But this book is available on Amazon. amazon and you can um get it as just a i think a pdf a downloadable ebook as well but it's how how to write your vows how to write your you know

SPEAKER_03 33:43

yeah we've got a great episode on that too actually

SPEAKER_00 33:47

yes yes indeed you certainly did it is it is a really really good it's a good starter you know for that or listen to the podcast and you don't have to pay anything so that's good another book that i just got recently is this one the next conversation by jefferson fisher He is a guy who I have been following on Instagram for a while, and he's a lawyer. And he has some really good ideas about how to get out of some really awkward situations. And one of the parts that I found most interesting was how to say no to people. Because I know that this is something that a lot of couples really struggle with is how to say no, how to put limits on what's happening for your wedding. For example, no children. Because a lot of people, they want an adult event. They either don't have kids themselves, or maybe they do, and they want to just do an adult celebration without children involved. And so he's got some really good strategies. And the one that I've just been hanging on to is, I know I'm going to disappoint you by saying this. However, we are not having children at our wedding. And so... You know, right away, you're sort of setting things up by saying, I know there's an emotional connection and I know you're not going to be happy with this, but we're doing it anyway. You know, and he also he he's very clear about not saying the word, but you say something else like however or and. I know I'm going to disappoint you with this. And I'm telling you, we're not having children or I'm telling you it's a dry wedding.

SPEAKER_03 35:30

See, that's really interesting. I'm going to have to dig into that more like psychologically.

SPEAKER_00 35:35

It's well, it's just a way because it's your day, you're paying for it. And so, you know, It's just I think it's really necessary for people to have good tools to be able to communicate their wishes in such a way that it just cuts the drama.

SPEAKER_03 35:51

I mean, I'm going to tell that to everybody now when they're struggling with something.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

Well, give

SPEAKER_03 35:56

him a follow

SPEAKER_00 35:57

on Instagram, Jefferson Fisher. He is he's so interesting and he's just he's just a lovely, lovely man.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

Wonderful. Cecilia, thank you so much. I'm going to end off our chat today with a little game and it's going to be pitching the perfect wedding because I know you've been at so many of them. So I thought, why not have you come up with your own scenario? So I'm going to put One minute on the clock, and you have to come up with a wedding that has a rainforest venue, a couple that's allergic to flowers, like all of them, a budget of $5,000, and a cat as the ring bearer.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

Okay, before we start the clock, I just want to say, I don't know how much venues cost.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

So, that's not a question I ever ask anybody. How much are you paying for this place? Because I think that's kind of rude to ask. ask um it's also none of my business so i can i just not go into the rainforest or go into the the budget part of it because i just okay because i need to i need to just miss that okay do you want to throw something else i'm gonna

SPEAKER_03 37:11

throw in the officiant has lost their voice

SPEAKER_00 37:14

oh no that's not fair then i would give my script to someone else to read out loud um no okay so no well okay

SPEAKER_03 37:24

Just let me know when you

SPEAKER_00 37:25

want to start. Okay, we'll stick with the $5,000 budget.

SPEAKER_03 37:30

Okay, sounds

SPEAKER_00 37:31

good. Okay. All right, ready, go.

UNKNOWN 37:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Here we are meeting in the forest at Royal Roads University on one of the walking trails. We haven't told anybody that we're walking through the campus. We're going to just tuck into this little grove here and we're going to have our ceremony with the big, beautiful trees. Someone has very wisely brought a Bluetooth speaker and their phone and is playing magnificent music that is gonna draw the rest of the guests down the path to the spot where we are gathered we don't need to have any blossoms the bride is oh here i go again the one merrier is carrying a bouquet and the bouquet is made of ferns and lovely little berries so there's not a grain of pollen to be found in the bouquet the music is recognizable it's loud it brings everybody forward and it sets the tone someone is carrying a cat basket and in the basket is a little sphinx cat wearing a bridesmaid dress a little flower girl bridesmaid kind of dress And the cat has a collar on it with a beautiful leather pouch crafted from a creator on Etsy. And the rings are in there. When it's time for the rings, the person carrying the cat carrier will bring the cat forward and will retrieve the rings from there.

SPEAKER_03 39:03

How did we do? That's great. A little bit over a minute. But I want to know how somebody gets the cat into an outfit. My cat would have never.

SPEAKER_00 39:13

You know, I think you have to start when they're kittens, dressing them up. I've done now about five weddings where cats have been present. And it's all gone well, except for one escape. It's gone pretty well. That's phenomenal. I would... I would never have thought, but you know, people are putting their cats in harnesses when they're little and taking them out for walks and doing all that stuff. So can be done. Yeah. I guess

SPEAKER_03 39:37

you could call it meowtastic.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

Okay. That sounds great. I love dogs at weddings though. They are a lot more fun and a little bit more predictable. Yes,

SPEAKER_03 39:47

that is true. So I'm going to thank you for your time, Cecilia. I really appreciate you being here. Where can people get in touch with you? Where can they find out more?

SPEAKER_00 39:57

All Seasons Weddings. I'm there as one of the officiants in the Victoria area on Instagram at Vancouver Island Wedding Lady.

SPEAKER_03 40:07

Fantastic. Thank you so much again. And I'm sure we'll see you this season.

SPEAKER_00 40:13

I hope so. Take good care. Thanks so much,

SPEAKER_02 40:16

Rad.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Oh, and listen, congratulations on 10 years in the business. This is huge. First of all, you lasted 10 years. And secondly, you just make such significant contributions to the Vancouver Island Wedding Professionals as a whole organization. So thank you for that.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

Thank you, Cecilia. That means a lot.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

My pleasure. All

SPEAKER_03 40:36

right. Until next time. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

Bye-bye now.

SPEAKER_03 40:40

I hope that gave you some food for thought when it comes to your ceremony and the traditions that you want to incorporate. We will see you here again next week with another guest and great conversation. And in the meantime, stay rad.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

We'll be right back.