A Family Affair: Mission Fueled Disability Advocacy with ConnectIDD

In this engaging conversation, Lola Dada-Olley speaks with Michael and Julie Thomas, co-founders of ConnectIDD, a disability empowerment agency. They discuss their journey as a married couple, the challenges faced in the nonprofit sector, and the importance of community support in advocating for individuals with disabilities. The Thomases share insights on transitioning from nonprofit leadership to entrepreneurship while raising children, navigating uncertainty in the disability space, and the significance of joy and resilience in their work. They also touch on their family mission statement and future goals for both their family and ConnectIDD.

Takeaways

• ConnectIDD is a disability empowerment agency changing lives.
• Michael and Julie's journey began during a snowstorm in 2011.
• They emphasize the importance of community support for families with disabilities.
• The nonprofit sector faces significant challenges, including funding issues.
• Vulnerability is essential in the disability advocacy space.
• Joy is a form of resistance against societal challenges.
• Building strong networks is crucial for navigating uncertainty.
• Transitioning from nonprofit leadership to entrepreneurship can be rewarding.
• Their family mission statement is 'do good, be good, have fun.
• They aim to expand ConnectIDD's reach across the U.S. and beyond.

Sound Bites

"It's okay to be vulnerable."
"We have people who deserve better."
"We are ready to be in every state."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Team Thomas and Their Mission
02:01 The Journey of Michael and Julie Thomas
05:53 Understanding Connect ID's Unique Approach
11:00 Challenges in the Disability Nonprofit Sector
20:16 Finding Purpose in Disability Advocacy
28:39 The Decision to Move On
31:21 Finding a New Home
33:03 The Call of Nature
35:52 Navigating Neurodiversity
37:50 Growth Amidst Uncertainty
43:00 Staying Nimble in Parenting and Business
48:11 The Thomas Family Mission Statement
51:29 Goals for 2026

Transcript

Lola 0:04

Welcome to Unapologetically Hold. I'm Lola Dada Ollie, attorney, advocate, storyteller, and lifetime caregiver. This is a space for anyone navigating identity, caregiving, leadership, or the quiet work of becoming. Here, we tell the truth, the beautiful parts, the complicated parts, and the parts we're still learning how to name. Some episodes are intimate reflections, others are conversations with people whose stories expand our understanding of resilience and wholeness. No matter the format, the heart of this show is the same. To remind you that your story matters, your voice matters, and you are allowed to be whole without apology. Let's begin. Team Thomas. Michael and Julie Thomas of ConnectId, a disability empowerment agency that is changing lives around the country, if not already around the world. I only know what's going on in the US. I'm sure they got global plans if they don't already. Michael and Julie Thomas, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Global plans include leaving. That's up to you. I was thinking global plans. We do have global plans. I knew you would. I knew you would. I knew you would.

Lola 2:17

So in the recent rebrand of this podcast from the Not Your Mama's Autism podcast, uh in our former podcast lives, I also thought of interviewing this amazing couple. And I realized, because they're so multifaceted. So although we missed out on the Not Your Mama's Autism side, I think we will be richly, richly blessed on this part of the podcast journey because when I think of Unapologetically whole and I think of couples, I really do think of this couple. So, as you all know, gotta do my little plug. I have a book coming out, launch date June 2nd, 2026, by the same name of Unapologetically Whole, and there are three R's. There's recognizing the lane you now find yourself in, there's redefining success based on your life circumstances, and then reimagining what it means to thrive. And when I say this couple takes some risks, and they do it unapologetically, both in business and life, my little teaser there, I also think of this couple. So almost like an interview. Tell us a little bit about yourselves, Micah and Julie. How long have you been married? Um tell us a little about yourself. You're both Texas natives, correct?

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Yep. Yeah, but from the from the opposite ends of the DFW uh spectrum, um I'm I'm from the Dallas side and she's from the Fort Worth, Arlington, Mansfield side. But yeah, Julie, I'll let you go first.

SPEAKER_04 4:03

All right. Thanks, Lola. Um we met in we met in the beginning of 2012, Michael? Is that 2011? Sorry. 2011.

SPEAKER_00 4:15

2011, because it was the the first, not the first, but like in 2011, we during the Super Bowl in Dallas, there was a giant snow freeze. Not the 2021 snow freeze, but snow pocalypse. But in yeah, in 2011 we were we were snowed into our homes.

SPEAKER_04 4:33

And so I went on a dating site and met him. And then when the when the roads cleared, we went on a date. Um, we got married on Halloween um in 2012. And we've been on a wild adventure ever since. Nothing is ever, ever boring. Um and we're kind of like a little bit Dharma and Greggy as far as I was a yoga teacher and I'm a massage therapist, and um my most relevant background to what we do now is in social health. Um but I'm not very corporate-y, and um we homeschool two children together, or I homeschool two children, we raised two children together, uh, 11-year-old twin boys. And we've moved. Okay, we've I think the boys have lived in seven homes in 11 years. We've moved a lot. Um yeah, and when we got to what we thought was our forever forever-ish home in North Carolina, we had a house fire over the summer, so we're in our, I think, seventh.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

In our seventh. Yes. I just I was I was counting down below just to get through. Yeah, we're in number seven right now. We will go back to number six when the house fire repair is completed. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:58

Yeah. So that when I met Michael, he was already um working in the IDD space, and um it did not take me long to understand why and to want to be some some kind of part of that.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Michael, you want to that was great. I don't want to say anything else. Um yeah, I will what I will say is what she did not point out about being snowed in and going on the dating app is she was she was perusing through the hundreds of messages received from all of the dudes in the world that were like, please talk to me. Um and I was I was uh I was I went through profiles and came across hers and read everything, and I was like, ooh, magical creature. Like this is this is the one, please respond to me. So um anyway, yeah, it's been um 14 years-ish, and it's been uh 15 years almost. It's been freaking great. She's awesome.

Lola 7:05

And you literally, I mean marriage, kids, dating, literally, your bookends are snow and fire, which I think really encapsulates the side of mine, really.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

Which which wow which side of that is the hubs? Um yeah, we're we're uh um in every way, not every way, but in most ways, um really, really great balances, um, whether it's it's social or uh business or family or whatever. Um we're we're good we're good complements to the two sides of most situations. I will say we both both lack attention to finishing projects or detail um as a comp we share that in common, as do both of our children. Um but uh but other than that, it's it's uh it's a great partnership across the board um in every respect. So now we work together at Connected and uh we get to to leverage the natural healing and natural human tendencies that she has within both our team and also with uh with our partners. So it's it's progress naturally and beautifully.

Lola 8:20

Yeah. So how would how would you describe Connect is and its place in the place in the space, right? So it's competitive advantage, is what I see it as, but I'll let you talk about what makes your company special.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Um yeah, there's so there's so much backstory to to how it how it came to be. But I think the the reality is after after serving in the nonprofit space for um 17, 18 years, and as as a director of a nonprofit for 14 of those years, um I have suffered through all of the problems, all of the hurdles and obstacles and road, road uh potholes and everything. And there would have there were times in my career where it would have really been nice for connected to exist and to have found us uh or found me and said, hey, what you're dealing with right now, that's that you're not the first, the hundredth, or the thousandth. Um there's a there is a pathway here to take, and you don't know about it yet, but we do. Let us help you get through that. So the the not fun version of what we do is you know, we're we're consultants in the disability space, but the competitive advantage is that we only work in the disability world and we only consult and and work on things that we've done. So we're not if someone calls us and wants us to um you know come up with the the medical billing system of a multidisciplinary disability clinic, like I've never done that. I'm not consulting on that. We we may be able to help find somebody, but um, for the organizations that we work with, we are uniquely positioned to plug in exactly where they are and to help them move to where they want to be. And that is um uh I I call or I use different adjectives and phrases to describe kind of what we are for our partners, but it's anywhere between like a shot of adrenaline, a kick in the pants, um a sherpa. Uh we have a we have a friend in in uh in Dallas that calls us their uh their hope dealer. Um it's a tough, it's a tough space, and sometimes they just need to hear you guys are killing it. You can do this. Like let's keep going. Um and so that's how we show up. And um, you know, we we deliberately stay in our lane. And I think there's something really valuable to knowing that like this group is going to show up for us in a way that uniquely fits our needs and is individualized and tailored to where we are, who we are, and where we're going. That's no offense to the other consulting worlds of the world, but um consulting companies of the world um feels a little more cookie-cutter a lot of times where it's you know you go through our five-step process and here's your document. Like we don't, yeah, we don't do that.

SPEAKER_04 11:16

And we're we're a team of six, right, Michael? And we yeah. And we have um we also have uh some experts that we contract with for certain things that because we want to find the best person. But I'll also say a lot of our clients are in Texas, but a lot aren't. And we've found that if you can navigate the system in Texas, then you can navigate it anywhere. And so much better kind of a bonus when we get it in a state that is a little easier to navigate.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

Yeah, it's true. We have clients that like hear the numbers of the systems that we're used to and that that we've we've worked in and built over the years, and they're like, well, it's not possible to do the things that you're talking about with the dollars and the funding that you're talking about. And it's like, well, we did it. So um in this state, insert almost every other state in the country, um, the funding is better, the systems are better, and so let's go do it. Um so yeah, coming out of the coming out of the worst disability infrastructure in the country has has really provided us with uh a bit of a competitive advantage there too, because we we know what the worst situation, worst functional situation looks like. And so it's easier to craft um in better, better circumstances.

Lola 12:35

And I'm glad you brought this up. I, in past podcast journey, I've talked about the difference of moving into Texas and how it's a shock to the system, and how even just me on my little one-on-one one-on-one way talking to parents, I've been described as um at least to one parent. Oh, she's talking about Texas like it's doom and gloom. And I said, Well, if you compare it to most other states in the country, that's why I'm explaining it, because it's such a rich state, it could do so much better. But that's another podcast episode.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Yeah, yeah, I'm happy to sit in on that one too. Because I've I've got I'm ready. I'm randomly when you said when I talked to families that are moving to Texas, in my head I was like, tell them to leave.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

But that's I tell them, are you sure? You sure you want to do this? You sure?

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Are you rich? He's like, okay, well, if you're super rich, then congratulations. Come on in, it's gonna be great.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Exactly, exactly.

Lola 13:41

Um, you touched upon learning so much from the Texas infrastructure, and you both are so humble, but you are a very well-known um before this phase of life, nonprofit executive in uh Texas and beyond. And you mentioned being a nonprofit leader for 14 years. What are the types of lessons have you learned that stay top of mind as you're consulting others?

SPEAKER_00 14:15

I'm glad this is a four-hour podcast. This is I will now go through the the 90 minutes I've I've prepared for the current question. Um You know, I my engagements uh so we work right now, we have about 20 organizations across the country we're working with, and um our projects are anywhere between development and operations in the people side or programming, curriculum staffing structure side, or um big vision, big leadership board um growth side. And I find myself engaging directly with leaders of organizations who are in the who are still in the throes of trying to juggle all that is um leadership and you know uh in in the disability space, which is challenging us. So I I don't know, I think I think I'm very transparent with them when I say, you know, this is really hard. The system, not only the disability world, but most of our clients are nonprofits. And you could, there's so many levels of the additional challenge that a an ED or a CEO of a disability nonprofit organization has, because at the very top level, philanthropy is broken. So we deal, we deal with that initially. The system's bad, where the money comes from is the trickles of the of you know capitalist America. By the time it gets down to you, it's it's a tiny amount. There's power dynamics built into it. So all of that's hard to navigate already. Then you get into disability is overwhelmingly um the uh underfunded compared to other cause areas. It's it's a it's I think it's like one percent of every dollar in philanthropy is going to disability, which is when you think about the number of like the fact that anywhere between 12 and 17% of Americans, 25 to 30 percent, depending on your definition of disability, have a disability, and 1% of the money is getting there, also hard. And then it's like you keep going down, and you've got the social and the emotional challenges of managing and supporting people in an organization that supports people. It's just so freaking hard. And so there's this honesty around um asking for help is okay. I think in our space, um asking for help should be expected. Um, it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to be human. Um because you are you are operating within one of the most complex backs against the wall, everything against you kind of situation. So um that kind of sounds doom and gloom, but the the beauty of this is um if you fight through those things and you are dedicated to supporting people, the world around you will see it, you will be supported, you will grow, you'll be successful, and the people that you serve are also going to grow and be successful. So it's worth it. The juice is worth the squeeze, so to speak. Um, but it's never gonna be you're never gonna wake up tomorrow and go, you know, this is pretty easy. This is this is just never everything's everything's great in this space. It's so good.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Never, never. Yes. I completely agree.

Lola 17:43

I'm also a foot soldier in this movement, um, in a different way, working in corporate and leading uh leading an area of law that's uh little known law, known as the Americans with Disabilities Act. So, yes, there are challenges.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Is that still around? Is that we still have is that a that's made it through all of this? It's just amazing news. I've got no idea we we could that's a win for us. That's a win for our space.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

One day at a time. One day at a time.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

By the way, I didn't even acknowledge, I mean, and you can relate to this as well, a lot of the people that I just related I was referring to earlier that are leading, managing, driving nonprofits in the disability space and broken philanthropic system are also parents of children with disabilities. Like, let's layer that on top of it that once you have done and dealt with all of those challenges, now you are going home to support your family member for the rest of the day, 365 days a year.

Lola 18:50

Like that's depending on the type of need, particularly if there are complex medical needs involved, you're gonna do that for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

It's it is un I don't have that level. Um Julie knows this about me, and and I I don't have that emotional capacity. Like I the the speed in which I would burn out in a parent situation, our boys are complex and they're a lot. And in no way, shape, or form does it does it compare to families that are that are dealing with high support needs. Uh and I can't fathom doing the hard work at work and then doing that hard work at home. Uh I'm not, yeah, I know I'm not built for it. Um I think maybe that's why I work in this space. I feel bad because I know I couldn't do it on my own.

Lola 19:42

Um thank you for acknowledging that because I think sometimes people assume, especially those of us that are lifetime caregivers, that we are expected to have the capacity of a Michael Thomas, to be honest, or Julie Thomas, because acknowledging the fact of what one has to do at home and even just to show up at work every day can take its own different toll. So that's why I am thankful for those who may not have the exact same home life or a similar home life as me, but are helping in furthering this movement. Um, so you know how I feel about you both for that very reason, because we really do need allies because people don't realize how how taxing it could be, and not necessarily because we know our children are blessings, it's more of knowing how much society is not designed for families like ours.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

No s no system, yeah.

Lola 20:55

And then to l live in a state like this, it's a current if you're not having some type of regular therapy self-care routine, and not only just for your children, for yourself, like to maintain your sanity. It's really important.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Wella, there's there's something we're working on that um maybe there's a part two one day where we can talk a little bit more about this, but one of the things that's lacking within organizations, within parent groups, is um is that human and social connection that allows people to be human with each other and acknowledge how hard this is. Like we we talk about that a lot, and there's acknowledgement for yes, it is hard, but we don't have, we haven't built the systems within the organizations, within the schools, within the family groups to allow that space. Um, and Julie is is uh uh Julie and the connected team, we're working with a group specifically to help build what what feels like a community of care within these organizations that open this up to families and open this up to Individuals with disabilities and open this up to the staff who are committing their careers to supporting these children and adults with disabilities 40, 50, 60 hours a week. If we don't provide some support like this, then we should expect burnout and lost staff and inability to find new people forever. That should just be the expectation. So yeah, coming soon to uh an organization near you, that's the the game plan is to start solving this problem next year moving forward.

SPEAKER_04 22:34

Yeah. I'm sorry. And that that um I've been doing the last couple months, I was doing one-on-one kind of hour-long interviews with the leaders of organizations of various sizes and services, and all in the same space and listening to, hey, I mean, we're paying as much as we can, but these are people who can barely make their own ends meet. And they're they're caring for our most vulnerable, they're caring for people. This job takes so much heart and takes so much emotional. Um it's such an emotional lift on so many, but their hearts are totally in it. That's where they want to be. But the money's not always there. And talk to another one that said, I haven't, I said, I said I'm a bath person instead of a shower person. And she said, Me too, but I haven't had an uninterrupted bath in over 20 years. And this is like this is the reality.

unknown 23:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

And that to have a group of people that understands that, I think, is really crucial. Because we're in a very disconnected society.

Lola 23:43

And it's very siloed, and we're not looking at ourselves as whole individuals, and it's all adding up, and this whole idea of the self-made person. If anyone realizes that they can't do it alone as a lifetime caregiver, like I if it wasn't for the laws and the movements and the previous versions of all of us in previous eras, I can't exist in the capacity I currently exist. Parents had to fight, allies had to fight to even get us here. So knowing that, the gravity of everything, what made you realize, Michael and Julie, that this was going to be your life's work? Like, was there a moment? Was there a series of moments?

SPEAKER_00 24:38

I mean, I tricked Julia into being a part of the Michael uh shenanigans. Um I mean, you're you're speaking specifically to disability as a component of our world, or and then and then marriage too, if it's all connected. Yeah, I mean, I think I think the the why is gonna be different for the two of us. Mine, I've always disability has always been around. Um, and in my life, the number of times that I thought I was gonna go a different direction, and then something happened to pull me back over. At some point, I don't say I gave up, but I'm just like, okay, world, fine. Like, I get it. This is my people, these are this is my place. Let's let's rock and roll. Um, fortunately, most of those were at a younger age. And um uh I don't know. I've spent I've spent 20 years in the space. I just don't have any interest in in got in doing anything else. Um the idea of getting up and making a widget or selling a thing. I I don't know. It just doesn't feel full. I would be bored, I would not be fulfilled, I would feel um less than, I think, if I weren't in the space.

SPEAKER_04 26:01

Yeah, uh for me, I I um what he tricked me into is working with him because that was always kind of a red line with me. It's like I'm not working with you. I like the way our marriage is going. I don't want to fight, but it's been great actually. And um it never every job I've ever had, what I what I realized later in hindsight is I'm trying, I want to help people. That's I'm not I'm not good at making money, but I'm good at helping people. I used to when he met me, I would be like, I would be teaching yoga, and oh, you can't pay? Okay, whatever you want to give me. Give me an avocado, I don't care. So when I met him, part of what I part of what I loved about him was what he does. I mean, it was a big draw for me that he had this drive and this desire. And also, Michael, you grew up, you had a kind of unique childhood growing up um with medical challenges all around you and spending a lot of time in Is it Scottish, right?

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Yeah, I my sister has a genetic bone disability. My mother has it, my uncle has it, my grandmother has it. I was um fortunate that it skipped me and that it can't be passed. Um I have a cousin um who's non-diagnosed but but autistic. Um yeah, I mean, it's just always it's just always been there. Um I don't know. And then you did then you start doing the work and you meet the people that are, you know, our systems, our our educational system is a good example. For the vast majority of people, they have no, if they don't have a sibling or or a direct family member with special needs or disabilities, they're not gonna they're it's not likely that they will engage them in in elementary school. It's less likely in middle, it's way less likely in high school, it's close to zero percent in college. And you have people that go their entire lives and careers and do not engage with this population at all.

unknown 28:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Except, you know, things are changing publicly. And so now they're running into people and they're like, what do I do with my hands? Like, am I supposed to talk to you? You're in a wheelchair, am I supposed to open the door for you? Like, they don't have any. And I've just spent my whole my life has always been around, and I'm like, these are the just the nicest, best people. Like I can't fathom being in a world where that's not who uh I'm around regularly. So and Julie didn't mention this, but it doesn't matter where she is, um, who's around her. She is a magnet for she's an empathy magnet, and people will seek her out. We could be walking down the uh park trail, and someone could pass us and then turn around and then attack her and be like, I need to talk with you about my life. And she's like, Yeah, let's go. Um, so you know, she whether she likes it or not, she's gonna serve in that capacity everywhere she is, and now now putting her superpowers to good in the disability world.

Lola 29:03

So what what you both mentioned in different ways, I think, is not resisting what became well once once you realized it was natural over time, and I think that's a recognition of just the traits you have and how you could use them in this way.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

Um I think super self-awareness might be the most underrated superpower.

Lola 29:33

Agreed, agreed. I call it a spiritual gift because Lord knows I spent years in different areas of the law, and now I'm where I am now. It's like, really, dummy? Really? You are a dummy. Like, you didn't see this before. And to show you how bad it was, my highest grade in law school was disability law. I I no joke. I got the highest score in the class. I'm like, hmm, I'm gonna go to an MPC.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

And you're like, oh.

Lola 30:04

I was like, what do I where where do I go from here? Uh so yes, I think part of this life is not chasing traditional notions of success, but seeking significance in the rooms you now find yourself in. And that's our family's mission statement. And I will ask you about your family's mission statement later. So that's the teaser.

SPEAKER_04 30:28

But I want to say though, oh, I'm so sorry. No, go ahead. Go ahead. I wanted to say that it anybody that reaches wholeness without a circuitous path, a windy, I think that's an untested and untrue wholeness. So you so what you're speaking of, I think is just acknowledgement of the journey that we probably all are making in our own ways.

unknown 30:51

Yeah.

Lola 30:53

So this life, this wholly integrated serving one's community, married, raising children life started off in Texas. And a very, I guess once you chose this path, a pretty stable path, 14 years. What made you both decide to kind of leave the quote unquote more secure, established nonprofit leadership path into going out on your own and then working together as a family? Because that could either be hit or miss. And so far it's very much a hit.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

So yeah, there's so like so much. Um so much there. There are two two things to acknowledge, I think, in that question. One is there was the when did it feel right to leave something safe from a from a work structural standpoint and go do something else. Then there was the uh there's the I think implied, but it's built in when when did it feel right to leave, like from a from a geographical standpoint? We we left Texas as well. Um I'll I'll speak to the former and and Julie, I think you can maybe talk on a geographical level why why the move made sense. But um I tech Dallas is real good about building like this mindset of like chase, chase, chase, grind, grind, grind, work, work, work, network, build, money, money, money, all that. Um I did that for a long time. And I I could I could do it. I did it for a long time because it it was a part of growth. I'm I'm a I think I'm a builder. That's what I like. That's I I like being two, three years ahead of where any organization or situation is. I like to think about how we get there. And for the vast majority of my time with that organization, um that was allowed. Like, go get it, go chase it, go build it. Let's, you know, let's go get this stuff done. And um, I don't, I'm not making this a COVID story. I don't think COVID's directly responsible or completely responsible, but when you're building and and developing an organization, we went from a staff of three to 120 by the time that I left and and and had built campuses and had built buildings and and COVID slowed it down in a in a big way. And and really the nonprofit space in general took a pumped the brakes on on innovation and growth and all these other things. Some some figured it out. They were like, actually, this is the time to innovate and build and grow. Um, you know, we were in human services hands-on with people with disabilities, the most medically fragile population. And we really, for a period of about 18 months, had to truly hunker down and just just focus on on staying being stable, which at the time I totally understood. But the that risk tolerance never came back. And for me, um, and I was every year, I feel like at the beginning of the year, 21, 22, 23, I was just kind of like looking over, going, hey, can we go, can we go do some stuff again? No? Okay, I'll come back next year. All right. And and at some point, um, I think middle, middle to the latter part of 21, I went to Julie and said, I think the time's coming um where I just need to think about what next looks like, what is gonna be built next, because I don't think it's gonna be here. Um and you know what? I actually kind of looking back, I understand it. Like it's a large organization now, and they've there's it's complex and there's a lot. There's uh, you know, 2,000 people being served by that org on a weekly basis. That's a lot. And and talking about growth and replication and all these other things that didn't make sense uh, you know, two years ago or so, three years ago when I decided to leave. So um, for me professionally, what a rambly answered, long-winded way of answering your question. I I could have just said, I like to build things and uh building things wasn't available anymore. So I left to build more things. That could have been my answer. Um, but the the other side of it was I felt um as I was unable to answer the call from other organizations and other families and other groups that were calling my possibilities and calling me and saying, Can you help us? Will you replicate? Can you build another location in this city or in this state? Can you teach us how to do what you did? Like I got those calls every like every other week for a decade almost, and I was never in a position to say yes to any of those. And now we say yes, that's what we do. Um, I'm thankful for the 14 years and then and the orgs before that, the 17 years that I had to be at organizations because it gave me the structure and it gave me um the experience necessary to uh to be able to help other organizations build. So it made total sense. Uh it was hard, like you know, leaving leaving um uh behind a network and a family and a staff and a uh I say family because I mean that. Like you you're with a group of people for 10 plus years, they become family. They're you're with them as much or more than your family. So leaving that behind and stepping aside to go try something else was not easy, but um 100% the right thing to do. And you just there's just sort of this, you know. I don't know what a what a crappy way of answering that question. Like, well, when you know, you know, Lola. It's just time to move on. And but I I think Julie, I want to speak for you but like, I think we just knew. I think it's we kind of felt it, it felt right. Um and two years after starting connected, 100% validated in taking that step. That was a businessy version.

SPEAKER_04 37:16

Well, to add to that, just like from the the Robin to his Batman in this realm, I watched the toil, the toll it took on him and how he toiled with that decision. It wasn't it wasn't easy, even though we were certain, if that makes sense. But I think the thing that made it doable was even though a huge part of his heart in mine too will remain with my possibilities, it was stable. It was already, it was doing well. It didn't, we didn't have to leave and go, uh-oh, what's gonna happen? Um, and now he gets to go help others do big things too. But for the geographical piece, I came here for a training through this organization we mentioned before, the social health, um, in November of 23. And I was like, oh, this place is enchanting. I wish we could live here, but that's not practical. Um, but I couldn't stop thinking about it and talking about it. And I brought him back in May, and I it still seemed really far-fetched. I wasn't pushing it at all, but he had a moment with a waterfall, and I was like, uh oh, something's happening. To tell you, Lola, how this went, Michael barely spoke for like 18 hours after this moment with a waterfall. And you've met Michael, you know that's not normal for him. Michael says words. Um then so the Michael got to interview Asheville area, and then in August we brought the boys to interview the Asheville area, and they also were pretty enchanted. So and we found that that just like everywhere else, there's organizations that need help here, and there's an airport, so it's doable.

Lola 39:03

Yeah, so tell me about this silence.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

I it's so like I hate how my brain immediately jumps to cliches all the time because like that's but there there are times where cliches are cliche for a reason. They they they make sense, they resonate. And uh this for me, this is the when nature's calling cliche, but it was it really wasn't that simple. I wasn't like, wow, pretty trees, waterfall. Like I I don't know. I I'm serious. Like, I have no idea how long I stood. There's this big, beautiful flat rock. It's called um um Roaring Fork Falls. There's a hundred plus waterfalls in our um within 30 minutes of where we're sitting right now. So like they're everywhere. This is called Roaring Fork, and we didn't know much about it. And we walk this trail, we get to the waterfall, and there's this big flat rock that you can just kind of walk out on, and then the waterfall is above you and below you, and you're just kind of standing in the middle of it. It could have been five minutes, it could have been 10 minutes, it could have been three hours. I don't know how long I stood there, but I just really um yeah, I I disconnected from just all everything. And I was like, oh, this is important, this kind of experience. This having access to something like this is important, and I had never never uh been someplace or felt something from a from a natural environment standpoint that offered that kind of uh connection. Dallas Fort Worth doesn't have it. There's nothing. There's yeah, leave it at that. Um so I the 18 hours of silence um wasn't like lost in a spiritual waterfall. The 18 hours of silence was trying to figure out how to make it happen. It was okay, this is the company, okay, this is what we have to do. We'd have to sell the house, we'd have to do this thing here, and I'd have to go like just it was just putting all the pieces together to be able to say, I think we can do this. Um so we yeah, uh the boys came out and uh within we were worried one of them we're gonna lose to the mountains one way or the other, so we figured we might as well like get him close to them, and then we'll be able to find him. Um the other we were concerned about uh because he's more you know keeping up with the Joneses. He thinks about the world in the normal kind of American sort of way. And um, I think it was Julie, like the second day we were at breakfast, and some somebody came over and they're like, Hey, where are you from? And he was like, Well, we're from Texas, but we're moving here. And we were like, Oh, oh, that one is on board. And then it was like green light, let's go.

SPEAKER_04 41:46

I also want to say that our kids are awesome, and but they're they've always they've learned differently. They've, you know, they're they both have pretty severe ADHD. And I learned I figured out when Max was like five that he can learn math if he's in a headstand, and that's not easy to accommodate in public schools frowns upon that. So they became competitive dancers not because of a deep love for dance, but because they could pay attention when their whole bodies were doing something else. And I told Michael that in in the DFW area, I felt like we were forever trying to help our kids fit to the world instead of just celebrating who they are. And here they have deep community already. It is, they are not just accepted, they're celebrated. They go to this amazing agile learning center full day, three days a week, where more than two-thirds of this the kids are neurodivergent. And um it's just it's just they my kids have freedom now. They they feel like who they are. And so that's another thing that was just really a big part of the decision to move here, for me at least.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

Yeah. It's I will say maybe this is um, I don't know. I think I I might just be making this up, but I feel it. Um, my boys grew up around disability as a byproduct of being where I've been. And I mean, in fact, we we revealed their names in the cafeteria of uh uh of my possibilities to 150 adults with IDD, and they're the first ones to know that they were both boys and what their names were, and um, so they they have an understanding of the space um at a different level for for eleven year old kids. And um they're twins, by the way. I need to acknowledge that like they're the same age and they came out of the same time. I don't have two eleven year olds um in any other sort of web. It just comes off weird. Um But they they go to the school and uh the kids that the They naturally gravitate to hang out with. They're on the spectrum, or they're neurodivergent in a lot of different ways. And it's tough and it's tricky, and they can navigate it. And I'm so thankful for that because that's something that they absolutely would never have had if we hadn't left. Um, because the traditional systems do not accommodate and do not provide the space for that to occur.

Lola 44:27

Okay. Let's go there.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

Um out, homie.

SPEAKER_01 44:32

Let's get we mentioned uh Texas in different ways. We mentioned how it's difficult to navigate. We mentioned um many things in an interesting, almost beautiful way, the rigor of Texas allowed you to better consult throughout the United States. So, in other words, if you this is gymnastics and you train under Bella Caroli, you will be an Olympian. You will be an Olympian.

SPEAKER_00 45:00

It's very likely, yeah.

Lola 45:01

This is very likely. So knowing that your company has flourished under an uncertain recent regulatory landscape, how do you prepare for growth in the midst of uncertainty?

SPEAKER_00 45:20

Um what changes are you talking about? Has something happened?

SPEAKER_01 45:24

Maybe since January 1st, 2022. Since January 2025, things might have changed a little bit in the United States.

SPEAKER_00 45:33

Um yeah, the reflection of the changes have become become more um clear, I think. And it's we're still infants as it relates to like better supporting people with disabilities, whether it's education or housing or community or whatever. So uh regardless of the changes at a national political level, we are still trying to figure out how to best serve a very large percentage of people. Um I I really do believe that when things get sideways, when things are, when you are challenged, when a when a piece of funding is removed, when a system, you know, regulatory issue is adjusted, those are moments to grow. Those are moments to build. Um the whole history of what we did in North Texas over the over the prior uh 15 years or so was proved to an absolutely can I cuss on this or no? I won't do it. Um prove to a terrible system that it can be, that it should do better, that it does, that the people deserve better, that it's feasible to create something that can operate within terrible characteristics and variables and funding constraints. And so that's all we did was demonstrate I don't care what you are saying the expectations are, I don't care what you're saying, the funding regulations are, we will figure out how to do better. And so right now, yeah, things are changing. Um federal adjustments, federal funding adjustments have been have been uh uh negative and and and have negatively affected the disability space. You've got the removal of things like DEI that have pulled away the attention of supporting people that are different, and let's freaking go, let's demonstrate that it can be better. Like it just feels like the time to double down on growth, to double down on innovation. Um, because if you are already operating within a challenging system and met with new constraints, you if you acquiesce to those, you've you've backed it up. You have you have lost ground. Um I I just see those moments as uh fight harder, like drive, drive faster. You know, I'm I'm I can be I am known to be a little reckless when it comes to uh innovation and drive and growth. Uh and I don't care. Like it's it's always rooted in the right thing. It's rooted in we have people to help, we have people who deserve better. I don't it doesn't matter um what the new constraints are. That for me feels like the time to double down.

Lola 48:44

It's not like the demand has gone away as a result of there. Demand is increasing, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 48:52

Yeah.

Lola 48:53

So you can act like it doesn't exist, or you could work to meet the demand that's clearly out there.

SPEAKER_00 49:03

So actually, to be to just to add one thing to that, the the groups that we're helping that are new to this space, like today, that they are either starting from scratch, or they could be a much older organization that is willing to just like throw out, okay, we don't care how we've done it for the last 30, we are ready to just do this new and different moving forward. Um man, that's such an opportunity. It's because again, it's it's the rules are what they are today, but we're 20 years forward in understanding what's capable. We have access to examples across the country of good organizations and some other things that people have done. 20 years ago, the orgs that were starting across the country were really like just figuring it out. You know, it was like, well, there's three organizations in the country that have been doing this at a high level, but we're in Texas and there's no real example. What do we do? Well, you fast forward to 2025, um, and the people are going, I think we want to do this. They have they have examples. They've got there's proof out there. So like they're just in such a better position today um to do really exciting things, and I think to do them much faster um than you know, building over 20, 30 years that the prior organizations had to had to fight through. Sorry, throw that out there.

Lola 50:27

Don't be, don't be. So building this growing company while navigating parenting neurodivergent preteens how do you continue to stay nimble with seven homes fifteen years-ish? Um how how do you how do you stay encouraged? How do you stay nimble? How do you stay encouraged?

SPEAKER_00 51:05

I'm a I defer to I have an answer, but I'm gonna defer to Julie on that because the yeah. I love the way you asked the question too. Staying nimble and staying encouraged amongst all the adjustments and tribulations is uh it's a it's a good question.

Lola 51:19

Between snow and fire.

SPEAKER_04 51:23

Um what I I don't want to speak for you, but I want to tell you what are we doing here? What is I don't want to I don't want to speak for you, but I want to tell you my observation of you, and you can tell me if I'm right or wrong. But I think that Michael is someone who thrives in a situation where he, his organization, his sector are um put under pressure and also underestimated in any way. Um it does it's not comfortable, he's not enjoying those things. But some of his best ideas are the result of some of that. No, we're not asking for more. We do not want more. Um we're good.

SPEAKER_00 52:07

Yeah, we're good.

SPEAKER_04 52:08

But um and I also don't know what Michael would say is his secret to uh maintaining our partnership in a healthy way, but for me, the history of us being together is um having some risk tolerance. So don't think uh I don't think that Michael could have a partner who didn't have some risk tolerance. And nimble, I like the word you use. Um but but also I think both of us are more wired towards hope than despair anyway. Um and in in me it shows up as I can look at the very I can focus in on the very darkest things that humanity has to offer and see the reasons for hope and still see the good work people are doing and want to know what we do next. Um whereas some people I know if they can't look at that stuff at all because then they just go into despair. I think both of us are kind of wired more for hope, but it definitely takes tending. Does that feel true, Michael?

SPEAKER_00 53:11

Yeah. Um I you the one thing you kind of suggested in there, like I don't know what how Michael, what what it is that keeps him forget the words you use, but like kind of like it's the other side of the partnership. Julie is the balance by which like my absurd, whatever whether it's innovation or an idea, I mean, she's this, she's the um support needed to hear out the idea. She's more pragmatic about what that will do for us or do for whatever the situation is. I mean, a lot of time I tell people all the time, like I have a lot of ideas and a very large percent of them are bad. Um I'm also very um, I will, as I'm having the idea, I have a problem with like convincing people that it's good, even if in my head I don't know if it is or not, which is also a problem. Julia's always been like the balance to that. And then if it gets to a point where I'm like, but I still think we should do it, then it's the support. Um that's where her agility shows up. It's the support needed to go, okay, well, let's let's figure this out. Let's go, we'll see what happens. Um, so we have a very healthy dose of um, I love the word nimble. I have I I love the I use the word agile. Um there's you know, rigid structure is not something that works in our space, and it's not something, I mean, in the disability space is not something that works either. So I feel like those are are um good traits to have.

SPEAKER_04 54:39

We could use a little more structure in our house, but we don't have it, so it's funny.

Lola 54:46

Earlier in the conversation, you mentioned someone referred to you as a hulk dealer in our house. We call ourselves home brokers. So it's like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:58

See why our families are friends. It makes sense. It tracks, it tracks.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

I really like disability sherpa. Um, there's something, and I and I still have yet to buy the Sherpa hat, which is a miss. Um, but there's something about like, you know, there's a mountain over here, and there's a lot of people that are interested in climbing that mountain or need to climb that mountain, and having someone that just goes, please do not go that way. There's a lot of frozen bodies on the other side of that mountain cliff over there. Let's go this way. And you know what? I'm up for maybe going a little off the path if I know that the you know we're heading in the right direction. So um, yeah. That's my way of telling Julie I want to shirp a hat for Christmas. That's all that was.

Lola 55:45

Yeah. Very subtle. Very subtle. You talked briefly about this 20-year journey and just and also ties in Julie's earlier point of when there's darkness, she still sees these glimmers of hope that still need to be tended to, which I think is so true. But looking at these past 20 years and knowing that there's still so much work to do, but still acknowledging that forward progress has been made, I think helps us tend that tend to that hope a little bit more. Looking at my brother and the lack of services he had over 30 years ago versus what my kids have really do help me tend to that hope and kind of ties in with back to our family's mission statement of seeking significance. We have significance in the rooms that we do find ourselves in, and we're not chasing these traditional notions of success. So, team Thomas, every great organization has a mission statement. So, looking at your family as an organization, what would you say yours is?

SPEAKER_04 57:02

Uh on the fly this morning, right off the dome, I came up with was do good, be good, have fun. And what I'd like, what I didn't tell Michael, and I'm sneaky working on because our kids are 11, so it's a little early, but we're like I'm sliding it in little bit, little bit is find the good trouble. Because that's that's really important to both of us is that um there are systems that need a disruptive presence at all times. And this is one of them, and there's others that I'm pretty involved in, and and I think some trouble is really worth getting into, and I think we have kids that that's gonna sit real well with.

SPEAKER_00 57:44

So yeah. Yeah, it's funny when when uh that came up, like we realized and I do a lot of work with boards and organizations on mission and vision statements and things like that. I was like, we don't have one. Um and and she came up with it real quick. And one of the like things she mentioned to me, um, when when our boys were little, we had like a family prayer that um included the phrase, help me help others and help me be good. Like that was just uh didn't realize that could very easily turn into uh a family mission statement, but the the other the other side of it is like I I don't know, have like there's a fun element, you know, like there's there's uh it's hard sometimes to see the fun and the happy through all the crap that's going on and the things that are around us. And at the same time, I I think it's important to to try and live as much in that happy, fun. It's hard for some people, but like that's that we're not here long enough uh on this planet long enough to not try and be in that space as often as possible. So um yeah, I like I like the mission statement. We now with the Thomas family as of 126, 2025, has a mission statement. It feels good.

SPEAKER_04 59:02

And I think that none of us, none of us will have the stamina for the long fight if the have fun component isn't still there. One of our one of the the biggest historical rights movements in the United States talked about how we were on the picket lines during the day, and we were partying at night as our act of resistance, because we had to have that, because that aspect is also an act of resistance to the systems that are so unhelpful in some ways.

Lola 59:37

Joy is certainly a form of resistance, and it's why in times of trouble and some of society's darkest times, is why they go after the joy. That's why that's why you know those in power who are peddling in darkness do go after the joy, because joy just choosing joy time and time again in the midst of really difficult times is absolutely a form of resistance. So looking at 2026, I'm not one for New Year's resolutions per se.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:16

Um I don't I'm I don't stick to them, but I think they're fun. They're fun to talk about.

Lola 1:00:22

Yes. But looking into 2026, I know clearly one of the goals is moving back into House 6, and I wished that so much for Team Thomas. Um but beyond kind of re-nesting and making home home again, what are some goals for Team Thomas and Connected in 26 that you can share with us?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

I think those are definitely um different. I'll I'll do the the connected goals. I think Julie's probably got a better handle on our family goals, but um we've gone from a staff of one in January of 24 to a staff of six right now. Um we've gone from, you know, we opened with three or four organizations. We're currently serving 20 projects across the country, and some of them are big, impactful, and important projects. They're statewide, they're research projects, they're things that we believe can really move the needle and really change systems. Um, it'd be this probably not given the nature of the past hour, not going to be surprising, but like a metric crap ton more of that. I I I want to continue to add the professionals and the passion around our team to be able to step out and take our our 20 organizations to 60. Um there's no shortage of need. Nonprofits don't have the capacity to staff for innovation and hope. It's either there or it's not. Um, and there's such capacity and such need to do more and do better for this space. Um I'm ready to be. We're in a dozen or so states at the moment. I'm ready to be in 51. Um you hinted at the global thing earlier. Like we've talked to a couple of organizations in other countries, but we're not um outside of the U.S. yet. I don't know if that's a 26 goal, but to say that it's not a part of our mission to uh to try and make an impact everywhere we can, even if it's outside the boundaries of the U.S., um, yeah, it'd be that'd be limiting, I think that's limiting our our dreams. So um another rambly way of saying more of the same, but I think um expanding the kind of orgs we can support and and certainly um increasing the number of organizations we can support, those are both on the horizon for next year.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:52

For personal, the first thing that came to mind was I'd like to have a date night because we haven't had that in forever. Um but really probably what I think is uh most important is just to continue building um deep connections and community networks where we where we are here for our family. Um I think if this year has taught us anything, it's that everything is pretty uncertain right now. And I think building strong networks for everyone should be kind of top of mind because you just don't know what tomorrow brings. And we are very well resourced if we will acknowledge that and and look around uh we as an everybody, we all have something to bring, but none of us can do all of it, and that's what we're all trying to do. We're all trying to take care of our bodies, take care of our homes, take care of our kids, take care of our whatever we're bringing to the world, but but doing it alone. And I just don't think that we as human beings were designed that way. I think we're designed to say, hey, give me all the kids tonight. You make the soup, this one does this, and you entertain it. And we don't have that. So my goal is even though we've found really great community in the small time we've been here, is just to keep building that for all of us.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:17

And Lola, what I heard in that, um, in addition to building community, which is uh goes back to um some we talked about, like doing that within the disability space and giving access to people to be human with each other. Um, what I also heard was that she still thinks I'm cute and that she wants to go on dates, and I'm very excited about that.

Lola 1:04:36

That's a win. That's a win. It's a huge win.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:38

It's great.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:40

Yeah, we went out to um uh Tosan's my my my husband's work Christmas party yesterday, and we told this much younger couple, you know, the younger couples, they're so cute. You know, they just got married like two months ago.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:54

I have no clue.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:57

And they asked, it was so funny. They asked, how long have you guys been married? And we said, 18 years. And the young man said, Whoa! And the way he said it, I was like, what the heck happens, bro? Like get to five and you're like, this was great. All right. And Tosan, it was so funny. Tosan said, Wow, that's a diplomatic, not so subtle saying we're old.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:26

No, I take that as I take that as someone saying, Wow, you look very young.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:31

Uh well, thank you. Thank you to the other thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:37

Yeah, wow, eighteen.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:38

That's true. He said, Whoa. And he said, You guys look like you're still having fun. I said, Yeah, we still like each other, and they just started laughing.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:47

But it Well, I mean, tocin's a bit much, let's be honest. Like, there's a lot fun. Oh, y'all are y'all are great too. Um, yeah, no, it's it's uh um it's a beautiful journey um we're happy to be we're happy to be our number of years in we're catching up to you um we'll get to 18 soon enough absolutely absolutely i don't know if you say your kids' names on here but my kids want to tell your kids hello and oh sure uh they were excited when i told them who we were talking to oh yeah we miss we miss them we miss them yeah it was speaking of being nimble I called the guys like hey you want to meet halfway like one day I called like well halfways have changed a little bit yeah why don't you come all the way that's fine yeah but thank you thank you for taking time I know similar in our house your jobs have jobs so we appreciate you taking time making the time really and truly thank you thank you yeah thank you thank you for being unapologetically whole until next time thank you for joining me on Unapologetically whole my hope is that something you heard today offered you some space to breathe reflect and feel seen if this episode resonated with you please take a moment to rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen it helps this community grow and if you want to stay connected visit loladadaali.com l-ol e y dot com to sign up for my monthly newsletter purchase my upcoming book Unapologetically whole or learn how to bring me to your next event as a speaker until next time I'm Lola Dadaali and this is Unapologetically whole