SPEAKER_00

The Speak Life Podcast, sharing Jesus in everyday life.

SPEAKER_01

Well, hello, good afternoon, and welcome to the live cast. Hopefully you can uh all hear us here. Um hope everyone's doing okay and enjoying the weather. We're sitting out here in the back garden. Um if you've been like us, you've had lots of heat over the last few days and then uh suddenly terrible storms. So actually we're glad that the weather's got nice again and we're able to be outside. Um just to give you a bit of uh a uh uh I can't even think of the word now. Heads up, heads up, heads up. Oh no, no, feedback. That's it, feedback. Uh gone to pieces already. Um feedback. So I mentioned I think two weeks ago that I was speaking in Eastbourne last week at All Saints Eastbourne at their youth events. Um just to say thank you for everyone that kind of prayed for that. Those were the talks that were themed around the greatest showman, um, and that was lots of fun. Um uh really lovely group. So thank you for those who prayed and do keep praying for them. Um they finished now, but obviously there's kind of follow-up and stuff. Hopefully, they've had a good crowd. Well, they did have a good crowd, um, but let's pray that people um who came along will keep coming back to the youth group and stuff like that. Uh I hope you guys have been enjoying all the different interviews. If you've not caught up with them, if you've missed some of them, you can still see them on Facebook. Um, if you go to our page uh facebook.com forward slash speaklifeuk and the video section, there should be a playlist of the live cast, and they're all in there, um, or you can pick them up on YouTube in the same playlist. Um now some of you might have heard me say last week that I was going to be um speaking to Bertie. Now, unfortunately he's not been able to make it um because something's come up, um, but you're in no way being shortchanged, uh, because I'm really glad that I've got the very wonderful Luke Sedge here with me today. Luke, hello. Good afternoon, everyone. Good uh thank you for coming, you're very welcome. And Luke has pretty much stepped in at the 11th hour uh here. Um so you know, we're doubly thankful that we've got Luke. Um, you know, because actually you don't want to hear me just ramble for 45 minutes by myself, um, which I would have done. Um but also, you know, it's it's not only because you don't want to hear that, but actually Luke's got a great story as well. So uh we'll chat to Luke in a second just to say um that uh if you're watching live now, you can type any questions and comments kind of throughout, and we'll try and pick those up and keep an eye on them. Um if there's specific questions, I might ask Luke at the end, um, or if they're very pertinent at the time, I'll I'll ask them as we go. So I'll try and keep on top of that if you've got questions. Um but let's have a chat with Luke. Luke, um great to have you with us. Uh why don't you just start off by telling us a little bit about who you are and what is it you you do?

SPEAKER_03

Um I'm Luke Sedge, um a member of All Saints Church in Crowborough, and I currently work for London Fire Brigade and have done for the last twenty one years.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_03

Great.

SPEAKER_01

And kind of family?

SPEAKER_03

Uh married to Teresa, wonderful lady, and have two daughters, Ella and Lana.

SPEAKER_01

Brilliant. Great. And so you you've been a Christian now for is it kind of just over two years? Just over two years. Just over two years, because it was kind of Easter time, I think, wasn't it? You said. Um and we've you know we've had lots of people kind of you know that we've talked to, and a lot of them have been raised kind of in Christian families with kind of Christian background. And you've actually kind of come to faith a bit later in life. Um and we'll talk about that in a minute, but let's just wind the clock back a bit first, um, and find out a bit about your background. So tell us kind of what it was like for you, what was life like growing up, you know, what was it like, what what were you like, I suppose.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, um, so I've brought up in South London. Um I was born in a town called Beckingham and then shortly moved to a place called Lewisham. Um went to St Mary's um primary school in Lewisham, and um that was a Christian Church of England uh school. Um my parents split was quite young, um, which was quite tough. Um growing up uh shortly after the split, we moved to Penge, which is another sort of little village or town in South London. Yep. Uh we live with our grandparents above a fish and chip shop, which is quite interesting, yeah. Um, but yeah, memories, some really fond memories, some lots of fond memories about growing up. Um me and my brother were pretty feral to be fair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, I just can't imagine you being feral leak, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_03

The nice hair isn't be fooled by the cleans up well. But um, yeah, it was um no, we was loved to be had a loving family of grandparents supported us, mum remarried, uh one step down, right? Um but then it was you know ups and downs.

SPEAKER_00

I just put my phone on something either, so that's my bad.

SPEAKER_03

How many value So yeah, um Yeah, we grew up in in Pinge.

SPEAKER_01

Um so you're saying you know you were uh you know a little bit feral or whatnot. Tell us a bit about your character.

SPEAKER_03

I mean what we pretty much go out when the sun came up and come home when it got dark or or when mum sent out a search party to try and find us uh on a few occasions.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um yeah, just generally stick of the dump comes to mind in terms of just doing and that's when you were kind of kids, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, and when we was young, uh touching on you know uh uh my experience or brief encounter with with with Christianity or the church was uh my mum used to send us off to Sunday school when we was in Lewisham, um and a guy used to pick us up in a minibus and take me my brother. Um we'd go for an hour or two, get come home, and that was it. That was as far as it went in terms of church or the Christian life in our in our family. Although my grandfather was uh a Catholic, uh Italian descendant, so uh and my mum is a believer, but um that was it. We never went to church.

SPEAKER_01

It was never kind of a real feature in many ways. Yeah. And then so kind of as you as you're a bit older, I mean I mean you joined the fire service, um and tell us a bit about what it's like being in the fire service. What's the what what's life like being a a fireman?

SPEAKER_03

Um it's got I just before I joined the fire service, I mean I I worked uh as a lifeguard, right? I I was the Hoff. You I was no I could see that, that would work well, yeah, yeah. Time shorts and yeah, it was a bad look, but I thought I was the the business. Um and then that closed down and I ended up being a foundryman, an aluminum foundry uh in in um Sydenham. And it was a really dirty, dangerous job, but that's all I I could do at the time. You know, I didn't do very well academically at school. Um and there was sort of a crossroads where I just sort of started thinking about I need to do something differently, and it was a uh toss-up between the Royal Marines and the Fire Service, um, and applied for both. Um and I remember having discussions with him, but she really didn't want me to become a Marine. Um and I got offered both and I went for the fire service, um which looking at paper, uh I think even though I wasn't a an active Christian then, I think God had a hand in me going down that that path or getting into that career. Yeah, um yeah, and it's it's you know it's made me the made me the person I am today. It's given me a lot of stability in my life in terms of financial uh earn a good income to how to provide for a family. Um but it also has uh other traits in the fire service back then that you you sort of enrolled as a young 20-year-old, I was greener than green, and so you can get pulled into all sorts of nonsense at that age because you think it's the the way. Sure.

SPEAKER_01

Um give us a sense of you know, I mean, people know that in there are particular jobs where they're they're known, you know, for being a particular environment. What's what's the what's it like in the fire service? You know, what's the locker room like there and what kind of atmosphere?

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I don't want to put paint a bad picture, but the the cult the culture uh the cultural there has been a massive cultural change in the fire service in terms of when I joined to where it is now.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_03

Um it was very much uh definitely at the station or the era I worked, uh a sort of a drinking culture where you you worked hard, you'd go out as a watch, you'd bond, you'd drink, you party. And that was that was the normal, what I thought was you know the normal of what that job was. Um but that has changed. I mean, watches and and and people in the service still go out as a and bond together and party and and do things together, but it's not as bad as it was.

SPEAKER_01

It's kind of more much more professional.

SPEAKER_03

There is, I mean a lot more control there's a lot more um testing involved now. So you know, if you're foolish enough to go down that route, then you're gonna lose your job. So yeah, yeah. But it's definitely it's definitely changed. But at the time as a young man, you you you you're sort of um part of it or swallowed up by it all.

SPEAKER_01

And so and so kind of you know, you've described yourself as uh I think I don't know if you said now, but you mentioned this before, you know, a bit of a rebel. Um, and um, you know, you haven't really got a any particular church background and stuff, and your only experience is really kind of Christmas and Easter and maybe a bit of Sunday school here and there. Um, and you mentioned earlier, you know, you're married to Theresa and you've got Ella and Lana. Um and actually it was it was Lana that kind of set the ball in motion, really, in kind of you getting involved in church. Um so kind of how did she come into contact with church and kind of where did that how did that kind of lead to where we are?

SPEAKER_03

So Lana's had the the the pleasure of going to St. Henry Fermo School, which is a uh Church of England school in Crover. Um and they're very much involved with the church. So Lana was um involved in obviously assembly and going to church once a week. Uh so she was introduced to to Christ and Christianity uh from a child's perspective. So they learn about certain aspects of of Christianity and the stories, the Bible stories. And she'd come home and she'd tell us about uh or we go to take retell the story the stories that she's sort of uh I'll be like, ah that's nice, yeah. Just you know, never really listened if that makes sense. It's just the my daughter telling me a story, which is pretty bad as apparently. But it's just I think we've all been there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pepper pig and mixed into one, it's just sort of uh but um it it wasn't until I mean she had she's got friends that are been members of the church, the Alexanders, and their daughter, uh Maisie, uh good friends with is a good friend with Lana, and um they were inviting Lana to come to church, and uh sort of Teresa or Zan I think mentioned it to Theresa and said, Look, no, if we don't mind taking Lana to church if she wants to go, we'll take her along. And that sort of promoted a discussion with as as parents was like, Well, if Lana wants to go to church, it should be really us taking her, not another family. Um, and it it was uh an easy decision, it wasn't like we discussed it. Oh no, I don't want to go to church, you know, I can't handle it. Yeah, it was a case of let's just take her to church. There'd been church before, so no qualms. And so we took her.

SPEAKER_01

Was it uh and was it the Chris Dingle, the first thing she took with? Was it Chris Dingle and I went to? Or is it is that a later?

SPEAKER_03

It might have been later, but the Chris Dingle one was when Lana marched the flow march me and Teresa to the very front row of Chelsea Church, and being non-Christian, I just felt like this.

SPEAKER_02

Being the light was all sweaty little colour and it was uh injured at the time, it was uh Christian.

SPEAKER_01

So what you know, because because like you say, you mean you beat the church a little bit, but it wasn't a huge feature. What were you expecting as you kind of walk into the church? What were your kind of preconceptions of church Christians this place?

SPEAKER_03

I suppose a lot more view for typical revival sort of forced or just judged, I think, was one of the one of the things that come to mind. Um sit around a campfire scene from my uh timely nothing I would a million miles from where I wanted to be.

SPEAKER_01

Um and then and so what was it like?

SPEAKER_03

Was it like that? No, it wasn't, it totally wasn't. So all these these bad ideas in my head. Um I think the the most off-putting thing wasn't off-putting, it was something I wasn't used to, was a complete stranger uh eagerly shaking my hand and welcoming the church, literally in my face, and I'm thinking, Oh yeah, yeah. Hold up, I don't know you. Absolutely and the person if they watch this will know, and we've we've laughed about it since. Um but it was a I think I've been a very guarded person uh most of my life, and yeah, not where it will, but yeah, where are strangers and when someone comes up to you so happily, and you're thinking Well if someone did that in the street, you'd be like, What are you doing?

SPEAKER_01

Who's this weirdo? I mean I do think that in church, but so yeah, it was a it was a different different experience.

SPEAKER_03

Um definitely, definitely. But there's no bad people, that's the thing. It was just a different way of life from what we're used to.

SPEAKER_01

And so you you know you started coming along and you started kind of coming regularly, you know, actually kind of came along, and and actually then it was it was around well, I think we said it was around Easter time, wasn't it? So I think am I right? So it was kind of Christmas you came and then you were kind of around for a few months, and I remember kind of seeing you, you know, there as well. Um because you you know, you when you're in the church the whole time, I think at that point I was probably working at the church and you know you recognize new people, you know, turning up. Um and actually it was kind of Easter time, I think it was was it Glenn came and spoke? Tell us a bit about kind of what happened there.

SPEAKER_03

Um I think it was the 321 um series, um, and he spoke in in depth. Uh and just listening to him, um and this is not me bigging you up, Glenn. Well it is me bigging you up, but it's not because I want to speak life, it was generally what you said that uh that made a difference, and uh it just um normalized Christianity and all the perceptions I I sort of had myself about uh Christians or the Christian faith. Um he was ticking all his boxes about um what's he mentions about um being broken, um making mistakes, um how people perceive Christians, and I was even laughing at some thinking exactly what I thought. But he was breaking down all these these barriers of perceptions of what people think Christians or Christianity is about, and it started making me think more and more about um what this Christianity is uh and who Christ was.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So that was really the And that kind of resonated with you, the stuff you were saying then, uh the idea of I mean the broken Yeah, the brokenness and and and it it's a hard pill to swallow.

SPEAKER_03

Um but when you start thinking about your own life and how you behaved and and things you've done, uh it's hard to to sort of one of the big biggest barriers I think of becoming a Christian is for someone to realise just how broken they are and to come to terms with that uh but know that there's uh uh there's a way past it. There's there's a way forward.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And and you know, you said um that then I mean kind of what you looking back on your life before, like after you'd become a Christian, you realise kind of now that actually some of the stuff you were doing was really just an attempt to fill a fill a hole kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03

Most definitely. Um at the time when you're doing it, um you don't realise what you're trying to try to compensate compensate for something that's not there. Um whether that be drugs, alcohol, partying, uh sleeping around, uh you do these things and you get the quick fix, which is great at the time, uh but you end up at a point feeling lonely and um incomplete. And I think growing up um without the father being around, uh and generally not having a sense of identity uh identity myself, uh I think I used these devices to try and compensate. And it wasn't until uh I turned to Christ and you have a chance to reflect on your life and realise um that there was a hole, a bottomless pit the way I could describe it, and you try and keep filling it and filling it with the the the wrong things that I believe now. Um But but when I turned to Christ it was there that hole was a bit plugged. Yeah. And that sounds really well it's not weird, it's a fact, you know. I felt fulfilled, and those worries and fears and anxieties that I've carried for most of my life um were taken.

SPEAKER_01

And what was kind of going on, because obviously you and Teresa have come to church together, and there you are at Easter time, kind of having this well it's two for one, it was a special deal. Yeah, yeah. That's the amazing thing, isn't it? Because because I mean there are lots of stories, aren't there, of people, of course, who come to faith and actually you know maybe they're you know but they then they've not been a Christian, their partner's not been a Christian, and you know, then actually that that makes life quite difficult. But amazingly, it was about a week, it was only about a week between the two of you, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_03

I think I think I I've I've blubbed and broke down before Theresa because she's a lot stronger than me, but she was she was food there when she saw me go, she went as well at the same time. So um, so yeah, it it's been amazing that we've come to to faith as a family, and not just myself and Teresa, but also our oldest daughter Ella, yeah, she's a young teenager, and uh teenagers have have enough stress around them, peer pressure and exams and everything else. But then to to explain to her friends or you know, that my parents are now these crazy Christians, so it's just like I was like worried, but we didn't want to push, you know, we're come to church if we want to, you know. It wasn't that we didn't want to force it upon her at all. Um but she's a smart, smart kid, and she's now part of the uh the youth group, yeah. Um and on the back of the youth group, she made the decision herself to uh be uh uh baptised. So it's been it's been amazing that as a family, all of us together have sort of come back to Christ at the same time. But also looking looking at what happened, it just proves that uh God had a hand in in in all of this because from what we're gonna move on to and speak about, he knew what was coming.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And he's prepared us by bringing us together.

SPEAKER_01

Well, yeah, and so I mean we've you know, you're kind of pushing towards that, I guess, um, talking about what was coming. I mean uh I mean when we were talking about kind of you coming to faith, and you you said that people told you, well, I think you said you read an article that talks about like there's that honeymoon period um where everything's you know great, you know, and I I guess those of us who make can remember a point where we made a decision, um you know, we can remember that. Um and there was that honeymoon period, and you know, the article was kind of saying actually there's that that will kind of fade and actually you know being a Christian doesn't guarantee that life's gonna be easy and stuff will get thrown at you, and actually, you know, the last kind of two years for you has been pretty tough, both kind of home and kind of work-wise. Um work-wise, let's just chat a bit about that uh briefly first, um, because you were actually one of the first people into Grenfell Tower after the fire was extinguished, is that right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I cruise, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And just tell us a bit about what your role what you what your role I know there's stuff going on still, so I mean you can't get details, but what your role was in in kind of being involved in that.

SPEAKER_03

Um primarily it was to safeguard the police that were doing a fantastic job in helping uh retrieve soldiers within the tower um and and making sure that the building was stable and safe for them to work in. Um and that went on for two weeks between my team at work and turned the gana pretty much every day to facilitate that.

SPEAKER_01

So I can't go into too much detail because the inquiries are ongoing, but uh it it should not just my world, but every person that on the scene I think touched in a way that never where's Langesquad Yeah what what what was there and uh I mean I think I was saying to you as we chatted about this that you know even just sitting at home watching on the TV as you see it unfolding and you know you the aftermath of it, you know, it was um it was a really hard thing just to watch from the comfort of your living room. Um, you know, and and you know, I certainly it certainly made me feel quite emotional just watching it. And there's you know, I'm watching this as a Christian, and there is that part of me saying, you know, you know, God, how can these terrible things happen? For you as quite a young Christian, what kind of effect did it have on you and your faith?

SPEAKER_03

It certainly threw that question up about if God is so amazing, why do we why do we suffer? Why would we want these people to suffer? Um and it's not an easy question to answer, I don't think. Um The only thing I have learnt since studying some of the scripture is that us suffering as humans is nothing new. We've been we told we were gonna suffer from a very early point in the in scripture that we're gonna endure pain. Um telling that to a family who just lost their loved ones is not really the answer. But as a Christian, it sort of uh gives me an understanding of why it's not out of the blue. Uh also you know I prayed massively very hard for those lost souls that just prayed that themselves and their family made that Jesus and made them only before uh perished. But it's hard. It doesn't take away the pain and the the hurt. But that's something we have to endure as as as humans, unfortunately. But but there is hope. In in in knowing that there's something past death.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And I mean I think I think, you know, when we've on here we've talked about suffering a bit before, kind of Glenn and I on various bits, and you know, obviously we've chatted to other people who've you know had some you know pretty horrific stories. But I I think you know actually if suffering uh although it does throw up the questions of, you know, why has this happened, you know, God, and why is this happened to me or to these people, although it does have those questions, um, there is that flip side of, well, if there was no God, actually it's completely hopeless. You know, like you know, you said actually there is hope. Um if it's completely random and senseless, I think that's far harder to almost process than that there is a God who is in control and loves us, even if we can't understand necessarily the detail of why certain things have happened and stuff. Um so it's obviously you know that that that's obviously a very a very difficult experience. But then also, you know, life life at home hasn't been easy, so your mum's been unwell. Um I think you said she'd she'd had a transplant, a liver transplant, and and then was it separate the cancer she had was a separate?

SPEAKER_03

Part of it was um we think it may have been caused by one of the drugs she was taking to it's like a liver anti-rejection drug um that had the risk of of um producing cancer, and unfortunately she did. She has got cancer, uh it's been ongoing. So that's been a been a hard journey to but mum mum has a faith and a belief in Christ, and so that's helped. Um we've prayed and and talked. Um it doesn't make it easier at the family, but it's almost like the the roller coaster of you know, shortly after she went through her treatment, um during to remission, it's like no, praise God, you know, this is this is amazing, it's gone. And literally in a month or so it'd come back um uh and spread. Um and she got given weeks, if not months, to live. Um which is hard to accept and get your head around thinking no mum's gonna be not gonna be around for much longer. Yeah. She's just had radiotherapy and she had results of a test yesterday, and the cancer hasn't grown, hasn't moved, and done anything. They see it's sort of dormant at the moment. So we're just thankful that she's comfortable, she's not in any pain, she's functioning amazingly actually, and when you when you see her, it's just like wow. So just keep praying that she stays comfortable and has a decent quality of life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And and in the midst of all that, um kind of Christmas time last year, you kind of get your own diagnosis, don't you, of bowel cancer.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Tell us a bit about kind of how that unfolded and what the process was there.

SPEAKER_03

Um so I started getting symptoms in in my my stall, um, which sort of threw up a question, say it's not quite right. Yeah. I ended up going to the doctor and having a chat, and he reassured me there was nothing to worry about, but we're gonna have these tests anyway, just to make sure. Um everybody had a a test done and it showed something up. And I remember sitting in the waiting room afterwards, and the nurse's attitude towards me completely changed from this sort of efficient nurse talking to before you go into this soft, gentle, calm.

SPEAKER_01

That made you think.

SPEAKER_03

And then telling me that you need to wait for your wife. I'm thinking, I don't need to wait for my wife. You can tell me.

SPEAKER_02

I was thinking, yeah, this ain't good.

SPEAKER_03

But they they couldn't tell me at the time because obviously it was they'd found something, uh tumour, um, and they took biopsies, which was very nice. Um, and they said, Well, it could be it could be you know, it could be nothing. Um, if it is, we'll just cut it out, be done with it. So we had to wait for the results of that, and that's that's horrible. Um I remember being told the doctor told me, and it's like well, how do we how do we tell the kids? When do we tell the kids? Um we have to wait and see if anything else else happens before. And it was like, I've got to tell my mum. I've got you know, yeah, my mum's got cancer. Now on the 19th of December, I'd be like, No, it's just before Christmas, I was thinking, yay, happy Christmas. Yeah, absolutely. By the way, mum, you know, I've got cancer. And it was like just rocked out, shocked us, rocked our world completely. Yeah, and maybe as a parent finding out your your youngest has got the disease is it's old enough dealing with it yourself, but then double whammy.

SPEAKER_01

And so you've and then you so you've you've you've been having the treatment kind of is it from January time you had surgery you had then, and um and and did I think you said to me yesterday that um at that point they they told you that actually the tumour had been so slow growing that it had probably been growing for about ten years, just unnoticed, not affecting, um which just seems just crazy, really to think, isn't it? Um but they'd done the surgery and and that's that's gone well.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, well it has gone well. I mean it it was a bit of a journey going through it, um a few complications, um I had a a stoma, which is like a colostomy, but on the other side, um, and that got blocked and twisted, and I ended up getting a couple of infections, euros sepsis on on top of all the other sodiums. Like you don't need anything else, yeah, yeah. Come on, I can't and all I kept thinking was you know what one of the first things someone said to me when you when you first become a Christian, you're gonna be tested. You're gonna you're just gonna be tested, it's not gonna be easy. I just kept thinking, really? Yeah, what else? Yeah, have you got any not got any easier tests I could do? It's wrong that you you know you're gonna break me, but you know, I haven't broken, and that's that's repair, I think, definitely. Um the old me, I'll refer to the old me, would have probably tried to bury it or just gone off the rails and not been able to cope with it very well. But um when you've got something so bad or so sort of um life-threatening or life-changing happened to you, and I I said to you um briefly yesterday that no amount of money or anything in the world, no possession, nothing can change the dollar you're in. What have you got? And I'll just I've got Jesus.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I think like you said, uh yeah, you did say you know it wouldn't have mattered at that point if you're a millionaire. At that pay at that point you've you've got nothing else. Your money doesn't mean anything, and that's all you've got is Jesus. And you know, and and I well, I mean people who are watching it um uh home uh be able to see, but um for those who listen on the podcast, I mean you you you're a big guy. Um you're kind of you know big strong guy all I don't know how tall you are, six foot odds, something. Six four six four, yeah, there you go. Um but um so what was it like then, you know, because you are this big strong guy, what was it like to have an illness which actually kind of really robs you of of your strength?

SPEAKER_03

Um it's scary. I've relied on my physicality, uh my physical attributes that helped me in my career and and things I've done. Um and that are all gone. You know, I lost 12 kilos, and I remember looking at myself in the mirror, just thinking, where am I? This is this gone shadow of a person. And that scared me massively. Um and since that coming out of the surgery and and trying to get strong, um obviously I I've started I started chemo in April, and that's been ongoing, and it still is till the end of September. Um but I still don't feel as strong or as fit as I was before, and I think mentally uh there's a certain vulnerability that comes with that. I feel like the armor's gone or my defence mechanism's gone, I've got nothing left.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um which it seems seems quite shallow to think that.

SPEAKER_01

But I mean we all we all do it though, that's it. We're all we we all we all have those things, whether it's our our physical health or whatever it is, we've all got those things, you know, our mental faculty. We rely on these things we rely on. We place our identity in those.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um but all that had gone, and in some respects it still has mentally. Um I've I've been coping not badly, but um I've been seeking counselling through work, uh, and that was going from Grenville for for a number of issues. But the the the latest one was we've triggered it or pinpointed it to me feeling vulnerable or vulnerability.

SPEAKER_01

Um do you think there's a sense in which um in in a way, I mean obviously it's a very difficult thing, but in a way God has been able to use that to to in a sense make you more uh rely more on Jesus through that. Because I maybe the maybe the the the instinct would be to think, well I am strong, I know I'm strong, I can get through this, and almost rely on ourselves. But having that stripped away, like you say, you've got nothing but Jesus. I think that's kind of part of that. Definitely, definitely.

SPEAKER_03

I remember praying hard in hospital because I I started getting anxious and pet up. Um and had a rough time uh when I had euros sepsis, I was in a pretty bad way. And just remember praying hard saying, Lord, just please give me a sense of calm, sense of peace, let me deal with this. Just calm me down and let me just get through this. And all through it since that it's not the only time I've played that, I've played it a few times, and uncannily I have had a sense of peace, and people say to me, Oh, yeah, well it's been rocked, this is crazy, you know, you've got cancelled like, yeah, I have. But that you know, I have, but I've just dealt with it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um so like, I mean, really, your faith is you know, is it's really helped you through this time, actually.

SPEAKER_03

It's been a definitely a thing that's given you strength and and not just me, the whole family, you know. We've all been on and used our faith to help keep us strong.

SPEAKER_01

And um it's still an ongoing thing. So I mean you you've you've you've still got a bit more chemo to do and stuff, a couple of cycles left, but yeah, but the prognosis is is generally good, they're pretty positive at the moment and stuff, which is there's always you know the risk of it coming back, but they do tests continually, I mean, for the rest of my life, probably.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um they say after five years you're deemed to be clear, so the next five years it'd be okay. Well, what's this gonna be? But from being off, and I I praise God that I've had the time to spend with my family, uh, and work have been amazing. Um, so give me that opportunity to to rest. Rest, I rest, try to rest, try to do as I'm told. Um, but it's giving me time with the family massively to spend time with them, and you know uh and when you're healthy and fit, uh enjoy what you've got when you can.

SPEAKER_01

Uh Luke, uh thank you so much for coming and sharing. Um I think my camera with both of us has crashed. So the good news is you just get Luke if you're at home watching this, you get all the good stuff there. That's the hoff right there. So uh wish I never said that. I am still here. Uh Luke, thank you for coming. Um, not only for stepping in at the last minute, but um actually it it it's not easy, I guess, to come and talk about some of these things because it has like you say, it it's having in a sense is very vulnerable, and you know, thank you for coming and being so open about it. And just you know, if people are kind of watching at home, listening at home, um, you know, we hope it's really helpful for you to hear this stuff and encourages you, or you know others who can be shared with. Um so please do pass it on. Um next week I'm gonna be talking to uh Steve Reese, who is the vicar of All Saints Crowborough, and we're gonna be chatting a bit about his testimony, kind of as we do with everyone, but also I'm really keen to chat to him a bit about um what it's like being a vicar in a large church and um his thoughts on kind of evangelism in that setting, because as um well, we'll get into that next week. We'll get into that next week. So um, yeah, Luke, thank you so much for joining us. Uh guys, at home, we hope you've enjoyed uh listening or watching, and uh we'll see you again next week. Thanks very much. Bye.