Well Dukes

S2 Ep.14 If We Were a Movie...

March 30, 2022 JMU UREC Health Promotion Season 2 Episode 14
S2 Ep.14 If We Were a Movie...
Well Dukes
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Well Dukes
S2 Ep.14 If We Were a Movie...
Mar 30, 2022 Season 2 Episode 14
JMU UREC Health Promotion

In the words of Hannah Montana... "You'd be the right guy, and I'd be the best friend that you'd fall in love with in the end." Have you ever felt like your life is a movie? Where the music swells and the love of your life rides in on a horse to win you back and you get the Happily Ever After ending we've only seen in classic Disney movies!?
Yeah... neither have we. Join the Health Promotion team as they discusses the portrayal of sex and relationships in the media. MaryGrace is joined by Jordan McCann, Assistant Director for Sexual and Relationship Health and Kate Becker-Mowery, one of the Wellness Instructors at UREC. 

Rom Cons: Problematic Movie Romance Lessons (Youtube Video) --> Click here!
Health Promotion Programming --> Click here!
Sexual Health Coaching --> Click here!

Show Notes Transcript

In the words of Hannah Montana... "You'd be the right guy, and I'd be the best friend that you'd fall in love with in the end." Have you ever felt like your life is a movie? Where the music swells and the love of your life rides in on a horse to win you back and you get the Happily Ever After ending we've only seen in classic Disney movies!?
Yeah... neither have we. Join the Health Promotion team as they discusses the portrayal of sex and relationships in the media. MaryGrace is joined by Jordan McCann, Assistant Director for Sexual and Relationship Health and Kate Becker-Mowery, one of the Wellness Instructors at UREC. 

Rom Cons: Problematic Movie Romance Lessons (Youtube Video) --> Click here!
Health Promotion Programming --> Click here!
Sexual Health Coaching --> Click here!

Well Dukes introduction: Hey There! Welcome to Well Dukes. This podcast is brought to you by UREC health promotion. Tune in every other Wednesday for conversations that we hope challenge what you know, think, or do in regard to your own health or wellness, and helps you be, well dukes.  

MG: Welcome to the Well Dukes, podcast. This is Mary Grace and of course, I'm your host today, and we're gonna be chatting a little bit about the disconnect between the media and how it unrealistically portrays relationships and sex. So just chatting through some of the conversation not bashing the industry because let's be real. We all watch these movies, they're classics! But just a little disclaimer to understand that we're just kind of pointing out some of the inaccuracies, setting some more realistic expectations, and recognizing that It's just entertainment, it's not setting up the blueprint for our lives like we thought all the Disney movies would. So with that being said, I'll go ahead and throw it over to our guests to do their introductions. 

Kate: Hi! I'm Kate Becker-Mowery, I'm a Wellness Instructor here at UREC and I'm very excited to be here today. 

Jordan: I'm Jordan McCann, I'm the Assistant Director for Sexual and Relationship Health, also here at UREC, and yeah, can't wait!

MG: We have a power team of the Health Promotion educators here today. So we're just kind-of really getting to chat about some of the topics that we kind of sit in the office and chat about every once in a while, so it's going to be a little insight to what our office is like. But our first kind-of “theme” of the movies- so we're thinking of the romcoms; we're thinking of about to go to college; the coming-of-age stories that we have known growing up- and I think one of the big themes that we have seen over time is high school males, so these guys, wanting to lose their virginity before college. So there are a handful of movies that are kind-of along this theme. But with that being said, I think it also sets this kind of unrealistic expectation that everyone should be coming to college experienced within the sexual world. Jordan, Kate, do you all think this is realistic at all?

 Jordan: I think what's interesting about this, and Kate being much closer in age I’ll let you answer, too, but yeah, we see this as like- this is just something else that I think a lot of movies in the media have set up as part of our society. It's like the goal- to have sex, to lose someone's virginity, make their sexual debut before going to college. So when they go to college they do have the experience and I heard this, and I love it so much, is that students and young adults, early adults, they think that they have a or they're expected to kind-of have this graduate level of education and information when it comes to sex and having sex with others. But really, again, when we look at how they're learning about it, it's elementary level, the first time someone has sex with someone else, they are not going to be an expert for the next one. Practice makes perfect, and what is perfect because with however many partners someone has, it's always going to be different. I think it's also interesting this concept of like, “Oh, if I can just have sex and do this before going to college, then I can be fine; then I'm going to know what I'm doing. It’s like, no, most people still don't know what they're doing. 

Kate: Yeah definitely. I am a sophomore here, so I still remember, like my time the summer before college, and a lot of my peers’ and it's a busy time in someone's life, like, you're applying to colleges. You're worrying about moving out for the first time. There is a lot going on in your life that this expectation that “Oh, my gosh! I have to lose my virginity before going to college” like, that's just such this unrealistic expectation because you're busy with other things going on. I think that movies do a really, they do a good job at, like, making people believe that this is the norm, and that this is what everyone around you is doing. So if you're not then you're an outlier, but I think that's really just not the case at all.

MG: Absolutely and I think another kind-of underlying thing with that is like “Oh, we're going to prom, like, this is the last big thing that we're doing. This is the time to have sex, like, we're gonna plan it in advance. It's just gonna be so amazing on this one wonderful night,” and that honestly just puts more pressure on people who aren't planning to do that. I don't know how realistic it is that seniors in high school are actually doing that, but just wanting to, like, save that opportunity to this really special moment.

Jordan: Okay, please share if this applies to either of you, but we always see that they have proms at these hotels and then they rent the hotel rooms, and I'm sorry, like, how many people have actually had that happen or, like, have the money, or they're able to take their parent’s credit cards to rent out the hotel room because that's where it's going to happen- that has happened in so many different movies, and I'm just like, my prom was in my high school cafeteria, right? There was no “let's go up to the hotel room after party.” It was, like most people, if they do leave, yeah, you want to, like, get out of the dress, get out of those clothes. A lot of times, like, you're just tired at that point, or if there is a party, it is not happening like we see in these movies.

Kate: Yeah, I think also, like, parents are just absent in these movies. And the idea that like “Oh, my kid's gonna stay out all night, get a hotel room,” even though, like, you have to be a certain age to rent a hotel room in most states. 

Jordan: Yeah, exactly!

Kate: Like, they're just- I think there's many parents out there that probably don't want their high schooler out all night, not knowing where they are. So I think movies just kind of ignore that there are other people in this individual's life.

MG: Yeah, and not to mention, like, the gigantic house parties that apparently happen. I don't know where their parents went or, like, how they're actually, like, getting all of this together. But I would say, like Super Bad is a prime example of they have to lose their virginity, they have to have a huge party, they have to bring the alcohol. We're obviously, you know, watching through it and seeing the unrealistic expectations that once you get that first one out of the way, like, then you're good to go. Movies aren't necessarily the only thing that are showing us what sex might look like, and the other unrealistic expectations that come with it. We also have the porn industry. Talk about unrealistic! Kate, I know this is something that you feel passionate about. Do you want to take it from here?

Kate: Yeah- oh the porn industry- it's just obviously, it's made for entertainment, and it's targeted towards a specific audience. So when we look at the porn industry and what is being made, they're targeting towards this heterosexual male gaze. So they're going to do things or have certain themes or activities going on that are very, very specific that can appeal to this audience that's going to continue to come back and watch more. It's not representative of what actually goes on between two people or more having this sexual interaction. It's very frustrating if people look at it and think, “Oh, I should know how to do this.” “I should like doing  this.” “This should feel good,” because they see it, like, right there on their screen, and it's so easily accessible. But in reality it is entertainment and it is staged so it's important to keep that in mind.

MG: Yeah, I agree, I think another piece of that if you're having sex with a virgin, like, that is the loss of purity for a female rather than this conquest that it can be shown for males as well as the fact that it doesn't depict the idea that your first time will probably be awkward or painful. You might not know what you're doing, you don't know what you like yet.

Kate: Yeah, like, having this magical first time losing your virginity. That is just not, not reality at all. Most of the time for many people there's gonna be some awkward bumps and lumps in there. It's not gonna be this very smooth, very happy, oh my gosh, cut to the end scene where the covers are over our chest, and we're panting- like, that's not how it goes. There's gonna be some awkwardness. It might be painful for some people. And there's also just, yeah, like you mentioned, that double standard for women are losing their virginity whereas men are, like, seeking out like “Oh, we have to do this, and if we don't lose our virginity then there's that negative view” whereas for women there's a negative view when we do lose our virginity.

Jordan: Yeah, that just makes me think, too if anyone has ever explored, like, Pornhub and all of these other free pornography sites it's like, if you were to use the key word virginity- I look at Pornhub's annual data they publish, It's fascinating, but the one thing that I haven't seen, and so I'm gonna go on a limb here, I would easily say, probably 95% or more those videos are featuring females and women, right? How often do we ever hear about, like, “Oh, a guy losing his virginity, that's sexy,” but it's created this narrative that it's, like you were saying, to have, you know, girls and female virgins, and for the first time, like, that's always what it seemed like,  that's, you know, perceived like that's what people want to see. But yeah, when you think about it, like, no one wants to see a guy losing their virginity, no one cares about that, because then, Kate, I think what you were alluding to, is for the guy that's losing the virginity it's like “yeah good,” right? It's not sexy. Probably the most realistic thing that we do see in the media or in pornography, especially when it's someone's first time, is the comedy aspect of when they joke about how quick it lasted or I guess quick, I shouldn't say lasted, then I say how quick it happened, and it did not last. And those are happening in the comedy scene because it's meant to make us laugh. And oh, it's funny, like, they were building it up and then they finished so fast. But it's like, that's actually the most realistic part there, and especially, again, free porn sites.  They're free because they're just taking these short clips and short moments of an actual whatever film they produced. So it is happening in a matter of minutes, and of course we know if someone is watching pornography if they're not watching this length feature, it cuts out a lot. And so I would say, probably like the average time that someone watches porn or what we see happen in movies, yeah, that's probably the most realistic. It’s not actually happening where it's like hours on end, or people talk about even in songs, right, where they're, like, having sex all night long and making love all night long. You’re like- people are tired!

MG: Who's doing that?

Jordan: And thirsty! I mean, we know it burns a lot of calories, but, like, it’s not that it can't happen, but that is not reality.

MG: Yeah, and you make a good point that throughout these videos, like we're just seeing clips, we're not seeing the entire experience. So whenever you are experiencing it in real life, you know, there are pieces that were skipped over that you didn't learn about.  If this is your frame of reference, the entertainment industry, a piece of that being foreplay, or, you know, taking off your socks. That was something Jordan and I had some discussion about-

Jordan: You never see someone taking off their socks, it's just not sexy! So that's why they wouldn’t show it.

MG: Right, and I think that same concept applies to safer sex supplies. Because you never see anyone putting on a condom or pulling one out and being like, “I have protection,” or having the conversations around it, when in reality, that is one of the basic things that should be happening every single time you are interacting with someone else sexually. It's not said explicitly, or implied through, like the scripts, but that definitely is something that is a reality that we miss out on here.

Jordan: And that's another thing where we see the two extremes. It's like it doesn't happen at all, or if it is brought up, it's you know again, “Oh, my gosh I'm freaking out so I'm going to my doctor right away,” and, right, it's like haha, it's the pediatrician or, like, their friend, or like a dentist, someone who is not an actual, like, everyday family provider freaking out. “Oh, my gosh! I think I have a bump. I think I have it. I must have an STI” and they're panicking. That's kind of the one extreme, you know, where they're just then even needing to calm them down saying “You didn't even really have sex” or, “You used a condom, you don't need to worry about this.” That anxiety can certainly be real for people too, right, but again, we're not seeing really true, accurate representations of the conversations around it, and the use of condoms, or, if it is, you know, and other types of sexual activity using dental dams, if they are mentioned, again, probably to be used as humor, or it's coming up as a joke, or, like, they’re just, “Whoa! What is this thing” and fumbling all around with it and stuff and not knowing how to use it. And so that's why, and hopefully, people take advantage of the resources we provide to learn how to use it.

MG:  Yeah, and not to mention, like the idea that that is kind of realistic in the sense that sex education throughout our country isn't the best. So you kind of have to figure this part out on your own because a lot of abstinence-only teachings aren't going to show you those pieces so yes, like Jordan said, like use our resources. If you don't know how to put a condom on, if you don't know as much about STI’s as you would like to, we have resources for that, and it's great to educate yourself on it. I think another piece of this area that we aren’t shown either is the need for consent versus like just the sexy eyes, or like, you know, when they give you that look. That's how you know we're not seeing it. 

Jordan: Yeah, again, because we're watching movies or shows and it can be very easy to really get into the scene, right, and feel like we're there. We're watching this, and then if you think about it for a second you're like, “Well, that sounds actually kind of creepy when I put it that way.” We're really watching these two people right? But we're watching it, and we want things to just go so well- we want things to seem perfect and in these scenes it's like, well, we may see the backstory, right? We're seeing it from everything that person A has been feeling and experiencing, and person B, we know that they're feeling and experiencing these things too, because they've had conversations about the other person with their friends, and they show montages or them thinking about the other person, so as a viewer we're able to see what both people are experiencing, and so we can kind of already, you know, infer that yeah, they both like each other in this, they're both wanting it. But again, when you think in that situation you're like, “Wait a second, they haven't actually talked about these feelings with one another. They just happen to be at the same place and then it's the music-” Of course I'm a big music person, like, whew, you hear the crescendo of the music. You're like “It's happening! They're kissing, they're gonna live happily ever after! That's just, like, to be entertaining, and the whole scene builds up to that. But when you actually think, wait a second, put myself in their shoes. They've only known each other for a week. This isn't real. They haven't talked about all these things. They've hung out like 2-3 times and they're just head over heels in love. Again, as viewers, we’re able to know and see these things, and know that they like one another. But it's not those conversations of asking for consent and stuff. It's easy. It's like, “Do you want to have sex?” We don't hear that happen, we don't hear that sentence being said. “Can I blank your blank?” Rarely do we hear that happening, And when we do it's in the movies that are meant to be erotic, right? Think Fifty Shades of Gray, which, let me take that back, maybe not a great example. But there are scenes where that language is at least used, like, he does say what I want to do. And there's other problematic things with that, but my point is that oftentimes when we do hear actual explicit things being asked or talked about sex, it's meant to be more of this like really kind-of sexy, erotic story, when again, it's not happening in just our everyday tv shows. It's not. We know that they're doing it, but we're not hearing about it.

 MG: Yeah, there aren't the conversations around, like, boundaries- how far somebody wants to go. It's always just assumed that, like, we're going straight to sex. That's where we're sticking to and, like, that's it. But in reality, like, people have boundaries and they're good to talk about, so that you know what you're getting out of the experience, and what your partner is comfortable with. Another piece of that is we're not shown what it looks like for somebody who wants to wait for love or wait for marriage. But there are people out there who do feel that way.

Kate: One of my all-time favorite shows is Jane the Virgin, and it starts out with her as a kid, making this decision not to engage in any sexual activity until she's married, and it partly has to do with religion, partly has to do with her views and what she wants, and that's obviously perfectly okay. But they use it in this way that, again, is this comedy shtick and is something that can be made fun of, or she's like this outcast, like, she's so different than everyone else around her. So when you look at it, it's like, yes, some shows and movies are trailblazing and making this seen in regular media. But when you actually look at it, okay, even though it's there on my screen, if it's still in a negative way, that's not really making anything better. 

MG:  Yeah, I completely agree. Before I watched Jane the Virgin I was like, I feel like they're making fun of this and I don't know how to feel about that. But after watching it, and like, getting to see her sexual awakening, but having it in a manner that, like, she still wanted to wait for love or marriage. And I think that's definitely like, yeah, a trailblazer because we don't see that in just our everyday movies, and it's a reality! There are also movies that are poking fun at inaccuracies in the media. I think Isn’t it Romantic is one of the ones that we had mentioned as well.

Kate: Yes, that one- there's a scene where Rebel Wilson and Chris Hemsworth are like about to have sex, gonna have sex, and then it cuts to them like the next morning, and Rebel Wilson wakes up and is like, “Wait, where is the sex? What happened?” And Chris Hemsworth is all, “Yeah, that was so good, that was really good.” And it just shows, we don't  actually see what happens. We don't know what's happening behind closed doors because the scene always cuts, and it just cuts to the next morning, and she's sitting there like, “Wait, what? When did it happen?” And that movie just does a really funny job of kind-of just poking at all these things that you don't really think about as the viewer until you step back and watch a movie like this and you're like “Oh, wait. We didn't actually see what happened.” Like, how do we know it was good for both parties, consensual, anything like that? 

MG: That reminds me of Big Mouth, which you know, is obviously talking about, like, puberty, but I think it's hilarious how they are able to use the references of pop culture and what we're expected versus like the awkward reality that it truly is.

Jordan: Big Mouth is a show I highly recommend to anyone that is curious about sex and their body and emotions and relationships. Just give it a chance, it's hilarious, but also I have even said, I'm like, this show could put me out of a job. I'll just need to show some of these episodes and there you go.

MG:  No, that's so true, and I think another fun piece to add with that is that they also just came out with a show named Human Resources, where it's showing, like, hormone monsters and all of these portrayals of areas that are impacting people. And it's kind of more of the adult version, as far as the adult issues that one might be experiencing either while they're in college or, like, out of college, and in their young adults, so the both of those together you can learn some sex education and work through your feelings while being able to laugh and like, have a good time and watch the show. 

Jordan: Yeah, I just want to reiterate what was said earlier, too, as Mary Grace said- we're not here bashing Hollywood and tv shows and the porn industry. There are definitely shows and movies out there that that are getting it right, and they are showing things that can be really helpful, and there is pornography that when paying for it and supporting the people doing it, that they are showing negotiation of safer sex applies, and they are showing diversity in bodies and sexual behaviors, like, that does exist. You just have to be willing to really just kind of evaluate and reflect on, “What am I watching? What do I want to be watching? What do I want to get out of it?” and so knowing that there are times where we can watch something and enjoy it, and then just also sit back and be like, “That is not reality and that's okay.” That's why we like having tv shows and movies and books and storytelling, right? So it's okay to enjoy those things, but know that there has to be that distinction made of, “Am I watching this and expecting that to be my life, or am I watching it because it's entertaining and also understanding that the reality is going to be different,” and you can only experience it by actually doing it and living it yourself.

MG: Yeah, I don't know about y'all but I feel like growing up, watching all these Disney movies, you know, I had this unrealistic expectation that, you know, somebody's gonna show up on their white horse, and they're going to woo me, and then I'm gonna just have this beautiful dress, and we're gonna live happily ever after and it obviously does not happen that way. 

Jordan: (laughs) I’m just imagining, like, if someone on a horse truly came up to you. It's like, “What? Where’d this horse come from? What are you doing?” 

MG: Yes, if some man that I just met wants to come up and kiss me awake, like, what is that one, Sleeping Beauty! I feel like that's a little bit non-consensual in my opinion. So like once we're looking back at these with realistic views, and understanding what reality versus these fairy tales are or these comedy fairy tales these romcoms. it's fun to just use them as entertainment as a little escape from life. I think another piece here would be talking about romcoms and all of the rules and specific things that tend to happen during these. Kate, I know you found a great YouTube video on this. Would you care to share with us? 

Kate: I can't take credit. I did not come up with these rules, but there are these tropes that many rom-coms, especially like the classics from like eighties, nineties,  two-thousands that they fall into and  there's-- one of my favorites it's called the hot person role, and this is when you look at the main leads in these rom-coms typically are conventionally attractive. And we really just turn a blind eye. We just excuse these unhealthy behaviors when the character is just this attractive male who's just gonna like do what he wants, and the girl is gonna be okay with it, like I think about Ryan Gosling in the notebook. Like if he- if he wasn't Ryan Gosling and he was writing to this girl every day for a year, and I'm getting like letters from this like kind of gross looking guy for every day for a year like that's that's really creepy I don't know if that would get the same reception as the notebook did and it's this classic romcom that everybody loves. Like I love the notebook, but when you think about it, it's like, Oh, it's cuz he's Ryan Gosling that he kind of gets away with this. There's one that also kind of goes along with that. Now this video mentions the rich person rule and some of my other favorites, like Pretty Women or Two-Weeks Notice. It's. like when there's money involved when a person has all these resources, and can just throw a new wardrobe to this girl like, Oh, then, it's okay, But really, if you take a step back, you realize that's kind of manipulation there. He's really using his money as a way of getting her love or getting her to say yes to going on a date. Things like that. So there are these dangerous tropes that it's important to keep in mind. Doesn't mean that you can't watch these romcoms. rom-coms are my favorite genre of movie. but it's just, I think, healthy to keep in mind and recognize when you see it.

Jordan: Yeah, I also just thought, too, when you're saying the movie The Proposal is like a prime example of both of those which is interesting because it's a female Sandra Bullock is the one who's- but like leveraging a job and position over, again,  A) in my opinion, a very attractive person, Ryan Reynolds, you know they're both beautiful. But she's like, okay, you can have this if you fake marry me, and you're like that's a pretty serious thing here, you know. But it was like, in any other world like. “No, my gosh!”  That is such workplace sexual harassment, like so not ok. But she's like I really want this job, and again- prime example of where how we see quid pro quo things happening, but because they're beautiful, and they go out to his family's house in Alaska, and they, of course, we know they're going to fall in love and- you throw in Betty White? So like, how could any movie with Betty White in it, is bad. I love that movie, too, right? It's so good. But yeah, when you think of just like hold up, what are these behaviors actually? Like what is happening, and what are they doing, and like, yes, imagine that at your own place of work. Or if that was your boss, you'd be like “Heck no!” so not ok.

Kate: I was one of those people growing up with Disney Princess movies like wanting that to be my life. Like I look at Aladdin. That was one of my favorite movies as a kid and I'm like he's lying to this girl this entire movie. But it's okay at-

MG: Catfishing her! (laughs)

Kate: Yeah, literally! But it's all okay at the end because they live happily ever after. So all is forgiven. I know this is older, but they did a remake, Overboard, where the female in the original. Then they gender swap in the remake, but the female falls off her yacht, gets a concussion, like doesn't remember anything. So her yacht servant, like housemaid but on a yacht, he basically like lies to her and tells her that they were married, and she's the mom to his kids, and she has to take care of them so that he can like get back at her for mistreating him and it's like, oh, it's all been forgiven because they fall in love at the end, and it's all okay like she does end up being the mom, so it's okay that she was fake being the mom. And it's like when you actually look at it, lies and manipulations are signs of an unhealthy relationship. That's not something that you want to aspire to be in. 

Jordan: and also just how all of these movies- again, like we talk about this. They end that they're in love, and it’s like falling in love with someone, and then what we are as viewers expected to believe they go on to live the happily ever after in love. And you're like I don't know about you all, to determine if I'm in love or falling along with someone, it is not happening in a matter of weeks or months. Like we also talk about unhealthy behind is when it's like yeah and it's not happening in- falling love isn't happening in a matter of weeks or months like this is, there are things you really want to know about this person, and that you can trust them, and you can be vulnerable with them. I mean they trust you, and all of these things, and I think just so often again, because movies are 2 hours, right? There's a lot to cram in there and we're just to kind of assume that everything is going perfectly well, and that they're going to be perfectly happy ever after. And yeah, that's the fantasy of it, and the enjoyment part of it, but so often you have to think back you're like, this is not how relationships happen. And certainly you know, and another thing. It's like they saved my life. there's this grand- this big thing, like they saved my life. We went through this traumatic experience together, and, and I know that there has been studies that have shown there is, you know, a change in emotions with someone experiencing some sort of accident or traumatic event together. But that is also I feel like a common thing that we see and it's interesting when you think about the romance that goes into like, action and adventure movies, right? And not like the rom-coms. But there's always still that love interest in other types of movies, and usually that in the action it's like oh, well, they both were on this money heist, or they were… whatever natural disaster was happening, and they, they hated each other in the beginning. But they went through this together, and now they fall in love and they realize they're meant to be together, and they're perfect. 

MG: All the things that weren’t talked about. 

Jordan: Yeah! That- I'm glad that they were there for each other during that. But what about everything else? Have they talked about finances? Have they talked about their living arrangements? What type of person are they, right? Do they want kids? Do they want dogs? All the other mundane things in relationships that need to be talked about.

 MG: Yeah, and I think that makes a good point that like one of these themes is romance has to be a grand gesture, you know, like holding the boombox outside their house. I couldn't imagine somebody doing that these days. 

Kate: If I was like a neighbor, or something I'd like, call the police that there's a stalker outside of my neighbor's house if I like didn’t know the situation. Like that's kind of scary. Like it's, it's this big gesture but in reality like who's actually doing that? Like I can't think of any couple that I've known in my life that has had a gesture like that, or that’s seen in Love Actually where the friend is holding up the cue cards, and he’s like confessing his love to this married woman. She married his best friend. It's like we view that scene as this huge, romantic gesture, and it's like you feel so bad for him because he's like in love with this married woman. But it's like that is your best friend's wife! Like, would someone actually like..? And what if the best friend had come to the door, like what would happen then?  I mean it's these very unrealistic scripted scenes that are not, are just not going to happen in reality.

 Jordan: Yeah, the person's like always home or seemingly always available at that exact given time when they need them to be. And you're like, that ain’t real life, either.

MG: So, Jordan and Kate, my final question for you today. What is your favorite guilty pleasure movie or TV show?  

Jordan: Didn't even need to hesitate on this one. Yeah, I would say it's definitely guilty pleasure because on Rotten Tomatoes this movie has like (laughs)- it did awful! But Valentine's Day the movie, and Valentine's Day the holiday. I- every year I have to watch it. I could watch that movie probably once a month. It's- so the movie Valentine's Day-

MG: Yes!

Jordan: -I think it's also just like there's so many big actors, and I was so excited. All of these little things people are doing for one another, and you see there is the classic friend realizing he loves his best friend. And then there's the teenage love happening. There's the we're gonna have sex for the first time, and it needs to be perfect because it's going to be on Valentine's Day so what a perfect time before we go to college. There's just all of those stories. Rating-wise, it did terrible. But I love it. I love that movie so much.  

Kate: Yeah, we've mentioned this movie in our conversation, but Super Bad with Jonah Hill it like, and McLovin it like that. If it is on cable Tv like I will always watch and I typically don't like those kind of movies like I don't find that humor funny. But for some reason, like, when McLovin gets punched by the robber, or when Jonah gets hit by the car, I laugh every single time, and I love that movie, and it's so stupid like it's just like stupid humor. But oh, my gosh! that movie will never fail to not make me laugh.         

MG: Yeah, absolutely. I would say Valentine's Day, definitely one of mine as well. Like It's great. I would say my favorite is A Cinderella story, a classic.

Jordan: Oh, my gosh, yes!

MG: Honestly, I don't know if I can say guilty pleasure because it's just so good 

Jordan: Literally, those two. Like, I say, I'm like if I had to watch a movie every day: Cinderella story- 

MG: Yes! 

Jordan: -with Hillary Duff and Chad Michael Murray version- and Valentine's Day. I could quote that movie. 

MG: It's amazing! But of course you know, ending today. Thank you all for listening. We hope that this has been insightful. Give you some critical lenses to look through whenever you're watching your next rom-com, or any sort of entertainment out there, and of course, for more updates check out some of our resources. Follow us on social media @JMUUREC on Instagram, and we have lots of healthy relationship and sexual health programming. So if you are interested in learning a little bit more about any of these topics, Check out the UREC website! We're so glad that you joined us here today and look out for more fun episodes coming soon, and as always, be well dukes!