The Good Listening To Show: Stories of Distinction & Genius

Best of Bristol: 'To Be or Not to Be' with Actor, Facilitator, Singer & Coach Neil Bett on the 'Art of Being Present', with Pastries, Birds of Prey & Being One Sixth of an a Capella Sextet!

• Chris Grimes - Facilitator. Coach. Motivational Comedian

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Ever wondered what makes performers tick? Neil Bett – actor, facilitator, coach, and one-sixth of an acapella sextet – takes us on a fascinating journey through the moments that shaped his creative path.

Recorded in our brand new Future Leap Studios in Bristol, this conversation between old friends crackles with authenticity. Neil and host Chris Grimes trained together at Bristol Old Vic Theatre School, giving them a shared language around performance and presence that elevates their exchange beyond mere reminiscence.

The heart of the episode centers on Neil's transformative moment at age 12 when, during a school improvisation, he portrayed a punk rocker stuck in a lift. The uproarious laughter that followed revealed something profound – the power to affect others through performance. This revelation would shape his entire career and approach to creative expression.

Neil's candor is refreshing as he shares wisdom gleaned from mentors like acting teacher Rudy Shelly, who bluntly told the cold-ridden student: "I don't give a shit how you feel, and neither does the audience." This lesson in professionalism remains a cornerstone of Neil's philosophy. Equally valuable was a colleague's advice to pursue opportunities that provide an "emotional kick" rather than just career advancement – a phrase that has guided Neil's decisions ever since.

Beyond performance insights, we discover delightful surprises: Neil's obsession with marmalade-making (continuing his mother's tradition), his fascination with birds of prey, and how the smell of pastries never fails to stop him in his tracks. His reflections on Shakespeare's "to thine own self be true" reveal a man who has found authenticity through both creative expression and family life.

The episode concludes with Neil's acapella rendition of Frank Sinatra's "That's Life" – a perfect musical embodiment of the conversation's themes. Whether you're a performer yourself or simply curious about the creative mind, you'll find something to inspire you in Neil's journey.

Tune in next week for more stories of 'Distinction & Genius' from The Good Listening To Show 'Clearing'. If you would like to be my Guest too then you can find out HOW via the different 'series strands' at 'The Good Listening To Show' website.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW wherever you get your Podcasts :)

Thanks for listening!

Chris Grimes:

Welcome to another episode of the Good Listening To Show your life and times with me, chris Grimes, the storytelling show that features the Clearing, where all good questions come to get asked and all good stories come to be told, and where all my guests have two things in common they're all creative individuals and all with an interesting story to tell. There are some lovely storytelling metaphors a clearing, a tree, a juicy storytelling exercise called 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, some alchemy, some gold, a cheeky bit of Shakespeare and a cake. So it's all to play for. So, yes, welcome to the Good Listening To Show your life and times with me. Chris Grimes, are you sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, across the world and across the interweb, this is a very, very exciting day. This is Mr Mr Neil Bett. Ladies and gentlemen on the other side of the table, he's a very old friend and we trained at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School together.

Chris Grimes:

We are alumni numny numny doody dumdy dum. We are indeed which. I think, you'll find is the plural of alumnus.

Neil Bett:

I think, Alumnus. Yes, Lovely yes.

Chris Grimes:

So you're very, very welcome. Alumnus, yes, lovely, yes. So you're very, very welcome. And this is a very exciting day because this is an official glow-up for the Good Listening 2 show Stories of Distinction or Genius. Because we're now broadcasting live from this day forth from Future Leap Studios in Clifton in Bristol.

Neil Bett:

Beautiful. You went with the cue. I take my cues from you, Mr Grimes. Bless you Always.

Chris Grimes:

And a couple of moments ago you went oh my god, I'm literally on the Chris Grimes, bless you Always. And a couple of moments ago he went oh my god, I'm literally on the Chris Grimes show. So how does that feel after all these years?

Neil Bett:

It feels great, it feels absolutely the right thing, right place to be.

Chris Grimes:

And I've known you of old, old, old old. We had a company together back in day called Barking Productions. We did, and do you remember? I just wanted to. I had a happy memory, which is very comic, of the strap line that we used to have for Barking Productions. Do you remember what it?

Neil Bett:

was. Was it serious but fun?

Chris Grimes:

Yes, and just go with that. For years we had business cards that said serious but fun, the idea being that we could be quite wacky, we could be quite serious, and then only in discovering and I'm so hardwired to innuendo, but after discovering the cards in the cupboard after all these years that serious but fun actually just looks to the grammar police serious but fun, which was not our business, which is, please don't google that at home, but that it worked because we had this wonderful sort of dynamic of being able to be very wacky.

Neil Bett:

Because, of course, that's where instant wit, the comedy improvisation company came from back in the day and I, you were there for then too, for then too, and preceding that more fool us as well for three years, which was very, very formative, I think, for both of us paul z jackson has been a previous guest.

Chris Grimes:

I hope he's watching today and in fact someone just today, this very morning, sent me paul's most recent update on linkedin talking about the psychology of yes and yes and yes and which I know we'll riff on.

Neil Bett:

He's still very prolific in that field and it's great. He was a really good teacher. He taught us a lot.

Chris Grimes:

He did. Indeed, I was able to be very grateful and thank him for everything that he taught me as well when he was in the show.

Neil Bett:

Well, I'm so glad, I'm so glad you were well behaved.

Chris Grimes:

So, to blow some happy smoke at you, you are an actor Obviously we've talked about that a facilitator and a coach, and I've been very excited because you're also, when I was Googling you, you are an acapella sextet.

Neil Bett:

Well, I'm one sixth of an acapella sextet. There are five others who make the other five of the sextet.

Chris Grimes:

But if I may just call you a sextet, again, I don't regret that expression.

Chris Grimes:

If that's what you like doing, be my guest. Yeah. So your invitation in being here at mr neil bett is to go where you like, how you like, whenever you like, as deep as you like into the construct and the structure, and I'm just going to explain for those who are seeing this or hearing this for the first time. If you are, where have you been? There's about 250 episodes in. I've been working like a beaver all these years, but this is the show in which I invite movers, makers, shakers, mavericks, influencers and also personal heroes into a clearing or serious happy place of my guests' choosing, and you'll hear from that how you completely qualify across nearly all of that like a veritable ping-pong machine.

Neil Bett:

When you say nearly all which bits don't I qualify for?

Chris Grimes:

Well, there's a new series Trank called Legacy Life Reflections, which is to help record the story of someone near, dear or close to you for posterity before it's too late, and I'm hoping it's not too late for you, dear.

Neil Bett:

Let's hope so, if I could get through the end of the show without dying.

Chris Grimes:

that would be great, wouldn't? It's quite comic. I've got to slide behind me, cop a load of this. Go boom, there he is, as if by magic, so facilitator, coach hackter singer.

Neil Bett:

Yeah.

Chris Grimes:

You've also gifted a track Just tell us about that that we're going to play out at the very end with later on.

Neil Bett:

Well, that is with the sextet that you were referring to, kettle of Fish. Do you want me to talk about the song or Just position it now, because that'll give people a reason to keep listening? So if the interview's crap, at least you've got the song to look forward to. Yeah, the song is Frank Sinatra's that's Life, that's life, and it was arranged by a really good friend of mine, ali Orban. It's a really beautiful arrangement. It's a great song. It's a great song. It's all about life's ups and downs. It's a great song. It's a great song. It's all about life's ups and downs and that kind of thing about you just keep going. You're riding high in April, shot down in May, but I know I'm going to play that tune when we're back back on top in June. So it's a lovely. It's a lovely kind of song about the roller coaster of life.

Chris Grimes:

And I love singing it and, yeah, I love listening to it. And as we love reincorporation, because that's one of the silky skills of comedy improvisation, I'll get you to reincorporate that beautiful introduction when we get to the end of the show, Thank you. So there is going to be a clearing or serious happy place of your choosing. There's going to be a lovely juicy storytelling exercise called 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Do you remember Ted Rogers?

Chris Grimes:

Dusty Bean, dusty bean, or five, four, three, two, one do do do do, do, do, yeah, that yeah, so there's that which is a lovely storytelling exercise that I got from a lovely man called Dave Stewart, who's out there on the old interweb from Fresh Air Leadership. Do connect with him too. But anyway, then there's going to be some alchemies and gold, a couple of random squirrels, a cheeky bit of Shakespeare, a golden baton they don't like it up a Mr man Ring and a cake. So it's all to play for.

Neil Bett:

It's literally the most exciting Tuesday morning I've ever had.

Chris Grimes:

And for those watching on the old interweb as well. Yes, so you're very, very welcome. So, mr Neilbert, shall we get you on the open road of the structure?

Neil Bett:

Let's do it Wonderful.

Chris Grimes:

So where is what is a clearing or serious happy place for you, mr Neil Baird? Actor, facilitator, coach, singer and sextet.

Neil Bett:

Well, I'm going to choose Applecross, and Applecross is it's where my mother's parents were from. It's a little peninsula on the west coast of Scotland. It's opposite the Isle of Skye, although it's on the mainland. You go up the steepest road in Britain to get there. It's called the Bialych Nagra Lots of hairpin bends. As you drive up, I remember my father in old cars having to do three-point turns, which weren't very relaxing. You have this amazing journey up and then this amazing journey down into Applecross, and it's just beautiful. My grandparents lived there, although I never met either of them, but they're both buried there and I do get a very strong sense of belonging there because it's a very beautiful, very remote place. I mean, I'm a city boy at heart. I'd never want to live somewhere like that, but for clearing the head and being somewhere really beautiful, it's got to be there.

Chris Grimes:

And just say that wonderful Scottish up the trusses of that hill that you go up again.

Neil Bett:

The Bialach Nagra or Nagra the Bialach Nagra? No, it's the Bialach Nabar, actually.

Chris Grimes:

Yeah, and then we arrive, descend into Applecross.

Neil Bett:

Yeah, you're right, and the temperature can drop about 10 degrees centigrade. As you go up literally and then come down again, you get brilliant views. But there's a viewing point at the top. I'm not from the apple cross tourist walk, by the way. The first time I took my two children, my youngest son, harvey and you are in fact one of harvey's godparents. We were telling him about the amazing views because he wasn't that keen on going when he was only about five and we got. We told him about the amazing views, but it was. It was a very, very misty day, so we got out and he could see nothing and he said you told me it was amazing and all I can see is pure white.

Chris Grimes:

So tough crowd, tough crowd I'll have words as his godfather. I really will, if you could yes and have you been on pilgrimages there many times. It's very profound that you know that the gravestones of your grandparents are there.

Neil Bett:

I used to go quite a lot as a child. It's where we went on holiday, and what's lovely is taking my own kids there. That was really special. My eldest son, angus, has been there independently with friends, so it's lovely to think that they actually want to go lovely.

Chris Grimes:

It's a beautiful vista, it sounds glorious. So that's Apple Cross and then part of Scotland.

Chris Grimes:

It's in again, just a really planted well, it's in Wester Ross, so it's on the mainland, but just opposite the Isle of Scar if I may now at the majestic clearing and I can because it's my share I'm going to arrive with a tree now in your clearing. This is a bit deliberately Waiting for Godot-esque, because of my Hechtian background and we trained at building I love Waiting for Godot, so this is a bit Beckett-y and a bit existential. I'm going to arrive with a tree and I'm going to agitate the tree. I'm going to shake it to see which storytelling apples fall out, and then this is where you you've been kind enough to have done some more preparation.

Neil Bett:

Bless you. I've done loads of homework. Everybody. It's not easy coming on this show.

Chris Grimes:

So this is the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. We've had five minutes, the clue in the title being don't overthink it, and I know you won't have done. To have thought about four things that have shaped you, three things that inspire you, two things that never fail to grab your attention and borrow from the film up, that's a bit, oh squirrels. You know what never fails to grab your attention yeah, that's the only reason I bring those.

Chris Grimes:

I can just throw a squirrel at you. Can I throw it back? Please do, and it'll be coming right back at you shortly and then the one is a quirky or unusual fact about you, mr neil bet. We couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us okay. So it's not a memory test. Over to you to shake the canapé of your tree or the canapé of your tree, not a canapé, canapé, canapé, canapé of your tree, how you see fit. So four things that have shaped you.

Neil Bett:

First of all, I'm shaking my tree and I'm sure loads of your other guests have said this, but I couldn't not say it and it's my parents, deirdre and Brian. Brian is no longer with us. I died in 2015. My mum is still around in Edinburgh and I, when I was growing up, I took my parents for granted because they were just my parents. But having spoken to a lot of people since and you know, been around I realise how I mean. I just lucked out on my parents because they did everything that parents should. They nurtured me, they loved me, they fed and clothed me and I always felt very safe and I feel incredibly grateful for that. I think it's given me a very strong sense of security through my life.

Chris Grimes:

I love that expression.

Neil Bett:

I just lucked out, I really did. I mean, sometimes maybe you look back in certain aspects of your life you think I'd quite like another go at that, but not. I mean I wouldn't sort of say, oh, I'll just roll the dice again and see what parents I get. Absolutely not. They were amazing.

Chris Grimes:

And wonderful, and your mum is still in.

Neil Bett:

Scotland she is. I'm going on Friday up to see her. Her mobility isn't as good as it used to be, but she's still very sharp and bright, an amazingly inspirational woman actually. That she's still very sharp and bright, an amazingly inspirational woman actually. That's a lovely first planting of shapeage. I've kind of bookended my shapeages with people, because I think people, ultimately, are always the things that shape you most. But my second one is a moment, and it was a moment which I think was a catalyst for lots of other things that happened to me.

Neil Bett:

I was 12 years old. I was in a drama class at school, so I had a drama teacher called Miss Hill and she set up an improvisation and although I really loved drama, I'm also quite shy. I think a lot of actors are like that. You know, we have this kind of inherent contradiction that we're kind of quite shy and withdrawn and at the same time drawn to performance.

Neil Bett:

And the improvisation was in a lift. There were four people stuck in a lift and the lift got stuck. So quite a classic improvisation. And what happens then between those people anyway? So she got somebody out, she got somebody out and it was a little. Somebody played a little old lady and somebody played a you know a businessman late for his meeting or something like that, and she was looking for a fourth person and I stuck my hands out, which felt very brave at the time because I was quite shy. And she was looking for a fourth person and I stuck my hands out, which felt very brave at the time because I was quite shy and she said and who would you like to be? And I said a punk rocker.

Neil Bett:

And everyone kind of looked at me a bit kind of like all right, and I went into the lift, the improvisation started, a few bits of dialogue uh happened, and I just sort of did a comedy, spit on the floor and belted to do, did a, did a mind belt of the kind of trying to get the lift work.

Neil Bett:

So it's like, ah, this bleeding lift ain't working and something like that. And at that moment the whole class erupted with laughter. And you know what it feels like when people laugh at something that you do. And it wasn't so much that it was laughter, because I think although that was important too, but I think what was was that moment when I realized I could have an effect on people through performance. And I've never forgotten it and obviously I've done lots of performing since, but that moment of and I think it was partly because it very much contrasted with the person I really was to the person I was playing lovely juxtaposition nobody saw it coming. Yeah, so that that was partly it, but it was and that that kind of transformative feeling that you get through performing I'll talk a bit more about that later and in all the years I've known you, I've not ever heard that story.

Neil Bett:

So thank you for coming up with new material it's possible that you have heard and forgotten, but but it's lovely it, yeah, it's, it's. It really was a moment where you think, something lit and something never changed from then on in.

Chris Grimes:

And the fact that it was a lift door as well. Something opens up and you ascend.

Neil Bett:

And who knew, you know, years later I would be paid to improvise.

Chris Grimes:

There we go. Wonderful, that's a lovely second shapeage.

Neil Bett:

Right. Do you want shapeage number three? Why not Follow the structure? So shapeage number three is and it has be the thing that we, where we met and that we share in common the bristol old vic theater school.

Neil Bett:

My three years there I remember still getting the letter of acceptance and I really wanted to go to drama school. I'd had a few goes, not with bristol but with other drama schools before and had some success. You know I'd had of callbacks and things but not quite crossed the line because they're so competitive to get into and the letter that told me I got it was just wonderful and I had. We had our ups and downs and it's some and you have to work very hard and I did learn a lot and I met a lot of really amazing people, yourself included, and I've never the same again after that three years as I was before.

Neil Bett:

I think it shaped me a lot and I think the thing that it gave me which I wasn't expecting I knew it would give me an amazing acting training was the fact that Bristol became my home, because shortly after that I met my wife I'll talk about that in a minute and yeah, and it was great we could spend a whole hour talking about Bristol, people like Rudy Shelley, the head of acting there. Can I tell you a quick?

Chris Grimes:

Rudy Shelley story. Yes, please do. And of course I'm just going to say obviously we need to mention Nat Brenner as well, who was Pietro Tool's mentor. Totally yeah.

Neil Bett:

And you see those guys had worked with because you know, the school started in 1946. Those guys had worked with all the famous people that had come and gone. They were the same teachers. So the same teachers teaching us had taught Daniel Day-Lewis and had taught all these amazing people Jenny Seagrove and Greta Skarkey and all the rest of it.

Neil Bett:

But my story about Rudy is that I had a there must have been some kind of thing where in the first you got a one-to-one, an hour on your own with Rudy and you'd bring a speech and you'd go through it. And on the day that I had my one-to-one with him I felt like a crock of shit. I was full of cold, I was coughing, I was spluttering, I had a headache and really I mean, I probably wasn't well enough to go into school. But I kind of forced myself out and went with it and went in to see rudy and he said what have you got for me? So I so, and I had this speech from a play called to spitty she's a whore, which is a very kind of dramatic play about a young man who's having it off with his sister and is in sort of torment about it. You know, you know what it's like. You know. I kind of thought this is real acting here.

Neil Bett:

So I started the speech and about three lines in I started coughing and spluttering and I said I'm really sorry, rudy, can I start again? And he didn't say anything, say anything. And I said shall I carry on or shall I just go back to the beginning? He didn't say anything. I said well, I'll, I think I'll go back to the beginning and he just sat very still. He was very small, quite Yoda-esque quite.

Neil Bett:

Yoda-esque and very small and just just literally looked at me and so I started again, again. I got about halfway through, coughed and spluttered and all the rest of it, and he didn't acknowledge my illness at all. He said Neil, my dear, you have a cold. I said yes, yes, I do. Rudy said and you're not feeling very well. I said no, I'm really not feeling very well, rudy. He said well, I don't give a shit how you feel, and neither does the audience.

Chris Grimes:

What great advice.

Neil Bett:

Well, there we go. You see, talk about a moment that shapes you, yes. And of course I had loads of imposter syndrome and all that kind of stuff and self-consciousness and he was saying don't bring that, Bring the best of you. You're either here or you're not here. Yes, To be or not to be. If you're here, you're here, Make the best of it. And of course you don't do a performance. You know nobody comes on, you know, when they're performing Hamlet, to say I'm not feeling very well, Someone will give my best tonight, even though you've paid 150 quid.

Neil Bett:

You've just got to do your best with what you've got.

Chris Grimes:

Beautiful story, and it was encapsulated in something he would constantly repeat as a refrain, which is Ducky, nobody gives a fuck how you feel, which is the same way of saying the same thing, but it just stayed forever.

Neil Bett:

I completely think that's yeah, thank you professionalism. Right there.

Chris Grimes:

That was number three, I think and well done for segwaying in to be or not to be there about the nature of presence.

Neil Bett:

I thought that was lovely, thank you, thank you and then the other thing which undoubtedly has shaped me so I talked about my parents and the other thing which I think has it has had more of an influence on me than anything else, was the best decision that I ever made, which was to marry Jess, and that then born two wonderful children who are now in their 20s, angus and Harvey. Again, I feel that I lucked out there because we've been married for 30 years coming up and you know, there's nothing like children to keep you in check and indeed a partner to keep you in check and you that kind of love, but you also get quite a love challenge. You know, if you are being a dick, then they will. They are the people who will tell you that you're being a dick, yes, and that kind of constant shaping which happens being around a family. But it also feel it feels very safe and lovely and yeah, that's my fourth shape and I love the fact jess has come in at number four.

Neil Bett:

Please, the shape which is like I should really put her at number one.

Chris Grimes:

No, no, I think the fact she's there book ending beautifully is wonderful. Yeah thank you so now, thank you for that.

Neil Bett:

We're on to three things that inspire you now it's a great exercise because the restriction of it makes you really think so. I think number one is artistry. Great artistry from great people, a brilliant actor or a wonderful piece of writing, that that sense that that person has spent years and years and years doing it wrong and doing it right and doing it wrong and getting it, you know, failing and trying again and getting to the point where they've got to when they're absolutely brilliant. And whether that's a piece of music, a performance, sport, somebody doing an amazing run or scoring an amazing goal, that sense of artistry, I think, is just a wonderful thing to watch and always inspires me.

Chris Grimes:

I'd just like to congratulate you for how you sound. Your voice is lovely, mr Bill. Oh, thank you.

Neil Bett:

No, I've just thought we've got a voice for the radio. I'm available for voiceovers.

Chris Grimes:

Marvellous. So that was. I've just drunk that in Gorgeous, Thank you.

Neil Bett:

Second influencer. So the second one is song, and it's music generally in fact, but in particular song. I love the format of a song. I mean, some songs are crap, right. So not all songs, but a good song which is well written, which tells a story and has beautiful music through it and also has wonderful lyrics. There's something about the juxtaposition of those two things happening which gives me a little kind of boom moment in the way that other things can come close to but perhaps not quite hit. I'm going to sound like a right old love here, but I'm a huge Sondheim fan, Stephen Sondheim. I think that man is a genius and I don't think there's anybody that I can think of in any kind of format that puts lyrics, incredibly sophisticated lyrics and incredibly sophisticated music together in the way that he does.

Chris Grimes:

And do you have a favourite Sondheim song? By any chance, because my podcast editor, dan dan, is just brilliant at texturing in. If we get a spontaneous moment like this, that it's it.

Neil Bett:

That really is an almost impossible question to ask. I would probably go for maybe too many mornings from follies, which is a kind of heartbreaking song about a love affair or a relationship which didn't happen and somebody in their realisation when they're in their 50s, 60s, that that was the man I should have married and I didn't and now I can't. It's heartbreaking and wonderful. Too many mornings.

Chris Grimes:

You can keep going if you like. Sage Danna John. No, that's lovely. Thank you, and thank you. That was an unexpected moment, but thank you, yeah. No, not at all. Next inspiration, please.

Neil Bett:

So my next inspiration is people who have a great sense of energy and can do so. I think great leaders have this. So I think great leaders have this, you know, the power of being able to present something which is plausible, even if the evidence would say it isn't that kind of person that says, no, we can do this, we can go for it, we can make this happen. I think that's an energy. Sometimes it's a kind of inspiration. I like being around people who are like that, because I'm not quite as like that myself as I would like to be. I do tend to attach myself to those people quite a lot, particularly professionally. Your good self is an example of such a thing. Par exemplar, par exemplar.

Neil Bett:

You've got an amazing can-do attitude and an amazing sort of energy. Anna, my business partner, who you also know, I think, has similar, really positive energy. I find I need that to carry me through, otherwise I sink.

Chris Grimes:

Lovely description of energy and why it's important. I love that. Thanking you.

Speaker 3:

Thank you.

Chris Grimes:

I think that's three inspirations. This is squirrels, this is now two things that never fail to grab your attention and borrow from the film Up Squirrels. You know what never fails to stop you in your tracks in your life, irrespective of everything else that's going on in your doubtless hectic schedule.

Neil Bett:

The smell of pastries when I walk past a bakery I mean, listen, any food? I mean nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom nom. Food is is both my pleasure and my downfall. I love it so much and I I carry more weight than I would like to, but I just can't resist it. But there's something about fresh pastries from a sort of patisserie or, particularly in the morning, a kind of 10 o'clock coffee and pastries thing is a lovely thing. I don't eat very many pastries because I would be about twice the size that I am, but yeah, that smell of pastry I always get drawn to it In my circa 250 episodes.

Chris Grimes:

Nobody's ever said the smell of pastries in the morning.

Neil Bett:

Well, there we go yeah.

Neil Bett:

I love that Nice. And then my other one is birds of prey. I mean, obviously in the UK there's lots of animals, not least squirrels, squirrels, least squirrels, squirrel but there's something about being close to or in the environment of animals which then feed on other animals, which is, I think, quite exciting. You know, we don't have lions here unless they're in a zoo, or leopards or whatever, but I think a bird of prey. So when I spent a lot of time in oxfordshire where my parents, my late parents-in-law, lived, and they have red kites there and they're so fantastic their wingspan is about five feet apparently. They're really incredible to see and you can see them quite close up. But if ever I see, lucky enough to see an eagle or a sparrow hawk or something like that, and watching them descend and swoop and come up again, I just think it's wonderful and I could never not watch it.

Chris Grimes:

And in a perfect world, they'll be swooping down to nick one of your pastries I tell you the.

Neil Bett:

My sister-in-law was eating a sandwich in her parents garden and a red kite came and swooped down and took her sandwich and run off with it. Didn't run, obviously flew. That's a moment you're never going to forget. It's quite alarming, given that they have a five-foot wingspan and she's not much more than five foot herself. We're quite Lucky not to be carried away herself. Indeed, yes, so it does happen.

Chris Grimes:

And great squirrels. And now we're on to a quirkier unusual fact about you, mr Neilbett.

Neil Bett:

We couldn't possibly know about you until you tell us are we there already? Okay, I don't know that there is anything very unusual or very quirky, but it might be something which and I'm almost a little bit shy about this actually, I am quite a prolific marmalade maker and in fact, oh hello. Now this may be a first as well, because you normally do this online I have brought you a little present, which is a jar of marmalade well, except how lovely bribery I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna throw it at you now.

Neil Bett:

I did I cheated because I texted you last night and I said do you like marmalade? You did and you said my wife likes it, she's very welcome to it. But there is, and I think it's partly because my mum used to make marmalade, but she can't make marmalade anymore. So I was brought up with always having loads of homemade marmalade and when she got too ill to make marmalade.

Speaker 3:

I was a bit. Who's going to make my marmalade now?

Neil Bett:

So I then learned how to make it.

Chris Grimes:

You've taken on the mantle. I love that.

Neil Bett:

And there's a lot of trial and error with it, because it's not. I mean, I don't want to sort of, you know, be too pretentious about it, but it's not a very easy thing to make because you've got to get the set just right and all that kind of stuff. So there's a lot of trial and error gone into it. But I do make obsessively when January comes and I'm there and buying my seville oranges, my lemons and my sugar and I am making quite a lot of batches of marmalade.

Chris Grimes:

And this batch says Neil Marmalade 12-125. So this is the new batch.

Neil Bett:

This is the new batch. That's it. I love that. Thank you very much.

Chris Grimes:

Yeah, yeah, and it's not exactly full, is it? Have you been snaffling this?

Neil Bett:

Listen, there's a little bit of a. You know, there's half an inch of air you've got to have something.

Chris Grimes:

Marmalade drought on. No, I'm very, very grateful.

Neil Bett:

Thank you very much indeed you can always give it back and I'll give it to someone else more grateful no, no, I'm really grateful.

Chris Grimes:

And in fact, to circuit all my obsessions, no one's ever furnished me with a jar of marmalade well, there we are we have shaken your tree, mr Baird, hurrah, and now we stay in the clearing. Move away from the tree. Next we talk about alchemy and gold. Yeah, now, when you're at purpose and in flow, mr Neil Baird, actor, singer a cappella sextet. We've covered that. What are you absolutely?

Neil Bett:

happiest doing in what you're here to reveal to the world. I think I'm most in flow and I think I probably am happiest when I'm performing, actually, because there's something about performing which takes you out of yourself, or it takes me out of myself and takes me into that kind of place where I can truly connect with lots and lots of people about that process.

Chris Grimes:

and it might be singing a song or acting or facilitating a group, but there's something about that kind of moment where you stand up and I can't think of anything else but the moment that I'm in, so that's that goes back beautifully to the lift door opening of your punk rock day yeah, in the sunshine, because there's just a moment when, and in performing, when you cross the line to connect, when you step in and you're on yeah, which I know informs your facilitation work as well as obviously the performing, the singing, everything you do creatively yeah, I mean, I don't know how healthy it is because I mean there's a little bit of a kind of addiction that I think you have to performing.

Neil Bett:

You you probably know that If I don't do it for a while, I get slightly like I need to do it, and there's probably some kind of really deep kind of thing about people who need to perform. You know that they didn't get enough attention or, you know, hungry for validation all the time, which I'm sure is true, but it is the place where I'm happiest.

Chris Grimes:

Links to the idea of an empty space brimming in charge with potential. Where you step into the energy environment of anything is possible, which is the comedy, improvisational space as well.

Neil Bett:

That's right. Yeah, there was nothing and I don't do comedy in prose, you know anymore but there was nothing more exhilarating than doing that. Not having a script being rel totally on on audience suggestions was amazing, I think, particularly in the kind of early days, and we were sometimes a bit crap, but sometimes we were amazing. You don't quite know what you're going to get from it, but you have to be in the moment, you have to be doing it. Yes, that was amazing and very formative actually, because I don't think I would facilitate as well as I do now without that, because I think what that taught me was you can hold an audience's attention. You don't need the script. If something goes wrong, you can just make a joke out of it, or you can just sort of pause while they put it right again or whatever.

Neil Bett:

Or if somebody says something unexpectedly, you you use it and you don't get, you don't yeah, the yes, and rather than get affected by it and think, oh no, that's not what. What I had on my script, I think, although I love words, I think not having words was an incredibly freeing thing to do for many, many years and I loved it.

Chris Grimes:

Lovely answer. And now, finally, I'm going to award you with a cake, mr Bedford. Again, I can throw a comedy prop at you. Oops, sorry, I can miss occasionally. I've dropped my cake, you've dropped your cake. Now, what cake do you like? Cake, first of all, obviously you do, because you've mentioned pastries. But what cake do you most like, mr Bedford? I do you most like?

Neil Bett:

Mr Bet, I'm going to be a little bit picky here. I don't love cake, I love pastries. My favourite cake is probably a simnel cake, which is we're knocking on the door of Easter now, it being April the 1st. It's not to everyone's taste, but it's like a fruitcake with melted marzipan in the middle and then a sort of fresh marzipan on the top.

Chris Grimes:

You're going to put a cherry on the cake now with stuff like what's your favorite inspirational quote?

Neil Bett:

yes, yes, there's always given you sucker first of all, and pulled you towards your future. Uh, it's from hamlet, lovely, and it's polonius speaking to laertes. I'm going to read you the whole quote, because, well, I'll explain why in a minute. This all to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day. Thou canst not then be false to any man. Think, when you have the whole thing around it, it gives it a context and really what he's giving advice to to his son, to leo t's, before he goes off to university, and it's really saying if you're honest with yourself, you're not going to be able to lie to anyone else. I mean, shakespeare is flipping awesome, isn't he? And that's the kind of artistry moment that I was talking about. It's like I couldn't explain that as well as he does and as beautifully as he does. Yes, and that's my inspiration.

Chris Grimes:

You'd be a very good Polonius dear, if I may say so. Do you think so? Yes, I am available. Yes, lovely quote. Thank you so much. What's the best piece of advice now, moving on to the next question in the cake? Yeah, what's the best piece?

Neil Bett:

of advice you've ever been given. I'm a little bit allergic to advice, actually. I tend to attend my first port of call is to ignore it and then reflect on it later. However, I remember a great piece of advice given to me by a mutual friend of ours, alan Coveney, who's an actor and a director, and I knew Alan. We were in a, an actor's co-op together back in the early 90s and I had been.

Neil Bett:

I was having a bit of a sticky patch as an actor. I'd started off quite well with getting quite a lot of jobs and then it kind of plummeted a bit and I hadn't worked for a while and I went up to be in a musical called Nine, but it was a charity performance. I wasn't going to be paid for it and in fact I was going to have to pay to do it because all the rehearsals were in London and I lived in Bristol and anyway I went up for the audition. I got it. I was one of 100 strong chorus and I also thought nobody's ever going to notice me in a chorus and it's one night and blah, blah, blah. But you know Jonathan Pryce was in it and Elaine Page and people like that. So it was quite high profile and they offered it to me and I was kind of humming and harming and I probably was being a bit of a dick because of course I shouldn't even have thought about it. I should just have kind of leapt and done it without thinking about it. But I was humming and harming ever and I talked to Alan about it and he was brilliant, he really listened hard and then he just paused and he said I think you should do it.

Neil Bett:

He said lots of people enjoy singing but you get an emotional kick out of singing. And he was absolutely right. And I was talking about, you know, whether it was worth it and the expense and the profile and whether all that kind of stuff. And he was saying don't think about that shit, it gives you an emotional kick, just do it. And I think that little phrase, emotional kick, has stuck with me. It's a really good philosophy for life really If it gives you an emotional kick do it.

Chris Grimes:

Lovely advice and thank you for taking it, because you do still sing to this day and you get an emotional kick from it and that's wonderful.

Neil Bett:

And I think you get an emotional kick from doing this podcast, Chris.

Chris Grimes:

I definitely do. It resonates really strongly what you just said. With the gift of hindsight now, this podcast chris, I definitely do it resonates really strongly what you just said. Yeah, um, with the gift of hindsight now, what notes help or advice might you proffer to a younger version of yourself?

Neil Bett:

a little bit, oh lord I think when I was really young I think, you know, between about zero and twelve I tended to be very cautious about going for things and doing things and then some, and then I was better at doing that when I was a teenager and on. So I think I would have said to my really younger self just go for it, don't worry about it, don't overthink it, do it if you don't like it. It's not going to last very long and you can do something else. That kind of feeling of not engaging with stuff which I did do, I think, when I when I was a child. So I'd have said get over yourself and get on with it. That's what I'd have said great advice, love that.

Chris Grimes:

So, um, the final question. We're ramping up shortly to talk about shakespeare. Okay, and just before we get to the shakespeare, I'm going to talk about legacy and how you'd most like to be remembered in a moment, but just before we get there, this is the pass the golden baton moment, please. They don't like it up on Mr Memory, but, having experienced this from within, who would you most like to pass the golden baton along to, to keep the golden thread of the storytelling going?

Neil Bett:

There's probably quite a few people. I'll mention one person by name, but I'll talk to you privately about a couple of other ideas that I've had. There's actually someone I've never met, but somebody that I have a bit of a LinkedIn. Had a few conversations with him on LinkedIn, but my eye caught his book the other day and I thought that would be a really good person for this show. He's called Max Dickens. He actually does improvisation, I think.

Chris Grimes:

Do you know him? I definitely of him. Yes, absolutely. It's hoopla is the. Is that aha, that's it.

Neil Bett:

Yes, but the reason that I've connected with him is because he's written a great book called Billy no Mates and it's very.

Neil Bett:

It's very now because it's about men's mental health and it's about isolation, particularly to do with men, and he has a great story about choosing his best man for his wedding and that was a kind of catalyst, I think, for him writing about loneliness and men and boys and, of course, at the moment, the thing that's in the zeitgeist for us all is adolescence, which is that incredible. Stephen Graham, graham, stephen graham and if people haven't seen it they must, because it's an artistic and technical masterpiece. Yes, quite disturbing, I mean really disturbing, but I think it's saying. It's saying something about the kind of state of masculinity, I think, at the moment, and lots of other, lots of other things. But he was writing about that before adolescence came out. Yeah, it's a very good book, it's a very accessible book, it's very funny, and he's one of these people I read it and then I had a little linkedin conversation we've had. We've had a few sort of back and forth, so I think he would be good.

Chris Grimes:

Thank you for that recommendation and your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to furnish me, if you can, if that works, to give me a warm introduction I will do. Yes, of course. Yes, great band pass. Thank you very much. And now this is quite exciting for both of us because it's here in the room with us both. This is the actual. It's not an actual first for you, but it's the book I bought myself to go to the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School of Shakespeare. So this says 16986. This is the actual book that I took to the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School, where we indeed met. This is now inspired by Shakespeare All the World's a Stage and All the Men and Women Nearly Players and the Seven Ages of Man's Speech. This is to ask you, neil, how, when all is said and done, you would most like to be remembered. You're welcome.

Neil Bett:

That wind went on for a little bit longer than I'd expected.

Chris Grimes:

It's so exciting the wind in an actual podcast studio. This is really exciting and the squirrels have noticed.

Neil Bett:

Yeah, look at them going.

Chris Grimes:

What an interesting nut. I'm going to go back to your slide as well.

Neil Bett:

There you are. My honest answer to that is I don't really care, because I'm not going to be around, because I think when you die your story then is in other people's hands. You can't influence it, so I don't really have very much influence on that. I think just to be remembered as being a decent bloke would be good. Someone who's kind of tried his best and, you know, did a few things usefully and hopefully made a bit of a difference to somebody, would be lovely.

Chris Grimes:

May I say you do make a difference and I think that legacy is in the bag, bob.

Neil Bett:

Thank you All right.

Chris Grimes:

So, yes, now, we're doing a very exciting moment now, which is called Show Us your QR Code, please, and our lovely technicians, joe and Courtney, will spring into action. So if you're watching this online, can you just talk us through frankpartnerscouk? Show us your QR code, please.

Neil Bett:

Yes, so frankpartnerscouk, which I haven't really talked very much about, actually is. We're an organisation who help people in organisations become better communicators, more skilled, braver, more robust in lots and lots of different ways. So that might be through difficult conversations, root of one kind or another, or it might be a kind of personal impact, root of one way or another giving a presentation or being able to kind of hold your own in front of other people, etc. We've worked with a huge, huge number of organisations doing that, and if you want to find out more, then do something to the qr code I think you scan the qr code and it takes you to frankpartnerscouk wonderful, thank you.

Chris Grimes:

We're open for business, marvelous and where else can we find out all about lovely neil bett on the old hinterweb please?

Neil Bett:

well, certainly on frank partners, linkedin and other social media channels. Kettle of fish yes my sextet no they're not my sextet, but Kettle of Fish my sextet. No, they're not my sextet, but I am one of the.

Chris Grimes:

You are the sextet within the sextet.

Neil Bett:

I am one sixth of the sextet and yeah, probably that's about it. You could just google me and see what comes up.

Chris Grimes:

Yes, and actually I did google you and it said that you once voiced director Garfault in the Big Finish.

Neil Bett:

I did.

Chris Grimes:

Yes, that's doctor who and when I was thinking of calling you a sextet, I said the big finish it's going to keep on giving.

Neil Bett:

Yes, that was. I had a scene with paul mcgann and I was quite excited having a scene with paul mcgann who's playing doctor, who in that? But um, he just done all his scenes and pissed off so I just had to do do it on my own in studio.

Chris Grimes:

And I've just seen him very recently at the. Slapstick Festival doing some acapella singing. Did you know he does that too? What he's moving in on your pitch, mr Baird, how dare he. Who does he think he is? He could be a septet. See what I did there. That is very clever.

Neil Bett:

Thank you.

Chris Grimes:

I'm here all week, okay. So yes, as this has been your moment in the sunshine, in the good, listening to show Mr Neil Bett, is there anything else you'd like to say?

Neil Bett:

I don't think so. No, it's been great Rarely do people listen to me without being interrupted? So it's no, it's been a joy.

Chris Grimes:

Thank you so much. Also, on April 1st, in this day of history, whatever year it is, this is a seminal day your very first studio podcast, which and I'm thrilled to have had a lovely, dear old friend come and sort of you know, talk each other through it, which has been wonderful. I have really enjoyed it and I've had a wonderful glow up myself. So if you're watching still, if you want to be a guest, then have a look at the good listening to showcom. Very excitingly also, we've talked about the profound impact of our parents.

Chris Grimes:

I recorded my own father, colin grimes, who very sadly died last august. He was my very first willing guinea pig for a very exciting new series strand to the show which is called legacy life reflections, which, lest we forget before it's too late, without any morbid intention, but my dad was a very willing guinea pig about five years ago. He knew exactly what I was doing in terms of can I curate you through this? But Legacy Life Reflections is a particular series strand that can help you tell your story for posterity before it's too late. So use the same construct of the Good Listening Tee Show, but there are many different series strands.

Chris Grimes:

This has been Best of Bristol Bristol Voices, because here we are in Bristol, there's also one called Brand Strand, founder Stories and also Leadership Reflections. So thank you very much indeed. I've been Chris Grimes. But very, very, very importantly, a sincere thank you, neil, for being a glorious guest and for the marmalade pot of 12125, where there's a tiny bit of a marmalade drought, which I don't mind and I'm very grateful for it, but thank you so much for being here. Yeah, you've also gifted a track just tell us about that that we're going to play out with the song is frank sinatra's.

Neil Bett:

That's life, that's life. And it was arranged by a really good friend of mine, ali or bomb. It's a really beautiful arrangement. It's a great song. It's a great song. It's a great song. It's all about life's ups and downs and that kind of thing about you just keep going. You're riding high in April, shot down in May, but I know I'm going to play that tune when we're back on top in June. So it's a lovely kind of song about the rollercoaster of life and I love singing it and, yeah, I love listening to it. Thank you so much for being here.

Chris Grimes:

Anything else you'd like to say?

Neil Bett:

No, no, it's been glorious, thank you.

Chris Grimes:

Thank you very much indeed. Thanks for watching and goodnight.

Speaker 3:

But I don't let it. Let it get me down, cause this fine old world keeps spinning round. I've been a puppet, a popper, a pirate, a poet, a pod and a king. I've been up and down and over and out. But I know one thing each time that I find myself flat on my face, I pick myself up and get back in the race. That's life, and I can't deny it. I thought of quitting, babe, but my heart wouldn't buy it, and if I didn't think it was worth one single try, I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly.

Chris Grimes:

You've been listening to the Good Listening To Show with me, chris Grimes. If you'd like to be in the show too, or indeed gift an episode to capture the story of someone else with me as your host, then you can find out how care of the series strands at the goodlisteningtoshowcom website, and one of these series strands is called Best of Bristol, bristol Voices, helping to celebrate and amplify all the best of all the creative endeavours, the movers, the makers, the shakers and the mavericks, the influencers and the personal heroes, all from my hometown of Bristol in the United Kingdom. Best of Bristol, bristol Voices episodes can also be filmed and recorded live in front of an audience of the creative entity's choice, as well as streaming to all the usual social media channels as we do so. So, yes, get in touch if you'd like to find out more about Best of Bristol, bristol Voices. Tune in next week for more stories from the Clearing, and don't forget to subscribe and review wherever you get your podcasts.